Leandra Medine's Blog, page 6
September 1, 2020
Trust Me, Try It: I’m Recommending Something Called “The Killer”?
When I first started writing for Man Repeller, I never imagined that I’d be endorsing anything called “The Killer.” I did not know I’d be saying that the “Killer” changed the way I live my life, that it gave me a solution to an exhausting, ongoing dilemma, and that it was pretty.
However, here I am. And when I say “The Killer,” I’m talking about yeast infection suppositories.
For the past eight years of my life I have been prone to yeast infections. What are they, you ask? “A fungal infection that causes irritation, discharge, and intense itchiness of the vagina and vulva,” says Mayo Clinic. Cute! I’m not sure if it’s something about my downstairs pH, my overall body chemistry, or what, but I get them a lot. Like many times a year a lot, depending on the year. New sexual partner? Yeast infection. Took too long to shower after my run? Yeast infection. Sat on a bike for, like, two hours? Yeast infection.
And, if you’re a vagina-posessing individual, you, like me, may have tried Monistat: the classic over-the-counter cream or capsule insertion for banishing das yeast. It has…occasionally…worked for me. (I’m not here to spread horror stories but I tried the Monistat 1-Day in college and my eyes snapped open in the middle of the night, I rushed to the shower in horror, and I clawed at my nether regions for an hour trying to reduce the painful, itchy, horrible feeling of too-potent medicine. Also cute!)
Even my doctor, who will offer me pills to banish the yeast infections whenever I visit with the same old story, has often shrugged her shoulders and said: “You’re just one of those women who is more prone to these.” Okay, DOC.
Enter: Love Wellness’s “The Killer.” The first time I heard about this product was from a woman I was seeing. She had these in her bathroom cabinet and offered me one after I mentioned I was feeling a bit “imbalanced.” I inserted it overnight and the next morning I felt fine. The discomfort was seemingly gone. I rejoiced, and feverishly looked up the product online so I could buy several boxes.
It turned out that “The Killer,” in its très chic little box, is a boric acid suppository, which is a time-old, doctor-approved agent for balancing vaginal yeast and bacteria. These ones are doctor-developed, and have more than 1,748 five-star reviews on their website out of 1,925 reviews. One, that’s a lot of reviews, and two, that’s a lot of positive reviews. I guess this post is essentially my review, too.
I always have three boxes of “The Killer” on deck. Oftentimes, I’ll only need to use it for 3-4 days before I feel like I’m back to normal, but technically you can use the suppositories for up to 12 days. It has consistently brought me back to a feeling of “squeaky clean.”
Even if you’re not the kind of person described above (a.k.a. me) (in which case, lucky you), “The Killer” feels like the kind of thing that is important to have on hand for whenever your vagina feels like the queasy emoji. That being said!!!! If your symptoms don’t seem to indicate a yeast infection, check in with your doctor instead of resorting to these. I don’t want a maelstrom of comments telling me I’m being irresponsible by giving you over-the-counter options for yeast infections, ppl!
Anyway, the long and short of it is: “The Killer” has truly turned my life on its head in the best possible way, showing me a healthy path out of a long, frustrating cycle.
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Give ’em a try and tell me what you think!
Photos by Beth Sacca.
The post Trust Me, Try It: I’m Recommending Something Called “The Killer”? appeared first on Man Repeller.
August 31, 2020
15 White Sneakers to Wear 24/7/365
Footwear has always been my favorite part of dressing. When getting dressed, I work my way from the floor to the ceiling: Oftentimes, an outfit will be born out of what shoes I want to wear. Historically, I’ve been one to wear a five inch platform sandal on a walk or a velvet Mary Jane in the rain. As of late, though, I’ve found myself gravitating toward my sneakers, specifically my flat, low-top white ones. I have three pairs I rotate through… and, truthfully, they’re the only shoes left out in my apartment right now. Not only practical for walking, I love how clean and classic sneakers are. They’re a desirable double whammy:easy to wear with anything and fun to dress up.
White sneakers aren’t a revelation—wearing them is nothing new and definitely not trend-based, but I recently went through and rounded up some of my favorites out there if you too would like a go-to pair of crisp, classic shoes that won’t cause blisters, look great with anything, and are wearable year-round.
Adidas Superstar: The Original
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Pregnant in a Pandemic: Solo Dr. Appointments and FaceTime in Parking Lots
A few months ago, the Man Repeller team put a callout to the community: We wanted to speak to women about pregnancy and parenting during the pandemic, to better understand the large and small ways COVID-19 had changed the experience. One of the readers who responded was 25-year-old Abbi, who was newly pregnant with her first baby—a boy. Over the past few months, she spoke to Gyan over on the phone, and she generously shared her experience of being pregnant in Los Angeles during COVID. Below is her story—the first in an ongoing series about motherhood during the pandemic.
I got a positive pregnancy test in mid-March, which is when things really started to escalate here in L.A. My husband and I had both just started working from home a couple of days before. As far as we knew, we were just going to be home for two weeks until this blew over—we didn’t think it was going to be five months and counting.
Our first appointment was two weeks from then. We were kind of gearing up to do that appointment together. The first trimester is such a time of uncertainty—I wasn’t sure if my home tests were even accurate, or if the pregnancy was even viable. On top of thinking, “Oh my gosh, how am I going to be somebody’s mother?”
When we got to the hospital for the appointment, we were going to walk in together, but there was a woman at the door in full medical gear who asked what we were there for. When we said we had an appointment, she said it was patients only—that he wouldn’t be able to come with me. And we both just kind of freaked out.
There were no receptionists, no nurses, no maintenance staff, no other patients. It was like something out of a zombie movie.
My husband was like, “This is my wife. We’re going to see about our pregnancy.” And I just looked at him like, “All right. I guess I have to go by myself. I’ll see you later.” Somebody took my temperature, and I was just kind of in a daze at that point. I made my way into the elevator and up to the waiting room where I was supposed to go. It was one of the most terrifying things I’ve ever seen, this completely abandoned hospital building. There were no receptionists, no nurses, no maintenance staff, no other patients. It was like something out of a zombie movie.
I was just so freaked out. Finally someone called me into the room, and I met with the doctor. She asked me the standard questions, and they told me that they’re going to do an ultrasound. I wasn’t really sure how far along I was. I was, like, Am I even pregnant? Was there a chance it was a false positive?
They did the ultrasound, and they show me the little embryo, and it’s just this tiny little thing, no bigger than an apple seed. They’re moving the wand around a little, and then they tell me that they can see the heartbeat and I hear it. And I’m happy that I hear it, but I don’t really react—I was still in such a daze.
Later I talked to my mom and told her we were pregnant—that I had heard the heartbeat and all that—she asked, “Oh my gosh, did you cry?” It was like the weirdest question to me. I can’t even believe I didn’t even think of that as an option. Everything was so quick and so matter of fact. It was a very emotionless experience.
My husband met me at the door where he’d dropped me off—he’d been waiting in the car—and I told him everything looked good, that I’d heard the heartbeat. Obviously that’s great news—but there was definitely a disconnect.
For all of our subsequent appointments, he’s been with me on FaceTime, and it’s made the biggest difference in the world. I wish now that I would’ve thought of that.
Now that we have done this every four weeks or so, it’s much less traumatic than that first experience, when we weren’t expecting it. But it’s still a bummer. When there were big appointments, like finding out the gender, my husband wasn’t there. It’s just strange. But we’re just making the best of it, trying to keep him as involved as we can.
He still comes with me to every appointment, and he’ll wait in the car. Then I fill him in as soon as I come out. There’s always a little bit of anxiety going into these appointments, so it’s nice we can drive together and still feel like he’s part of these appointments—I know he’s just there, he’s right outside. It’s a little bit of comfort, at least for me. I’m due on Thanksgiving Day—November 26. He’ll be able to be in the room when I deliver, but he won’t be able to come in to any appointments for the rest of the year.
It’s also very bizarre that bars in L.A. were open for a little while, but my husband still wasn’t able to come into an appointment that I’m being temperature-checked and have to wear a mask for.
We’re so grateful that everyone is taking all these precautions, being so safe, and doing what needs to be done. But it’s also very bizarre that bars in L.A. were open for a little while, but my husband still wasn’t able to come into an appointment that I’m being temperature-checked and have to wear a mask for. We, of course, understand why these rules are in place and we’re grateful that everyone’s being safe, but it’s hard.
In itself, pregnancy is a very isolating experience. No matter how many people you have around you, it’s just you and this little person in your body—you are doing a lot of it alone. And to be really, really alone and not have all of your support people within arms’ reach has been really challenging. As I’ve gotten farther along, it’s more the little things that are hardest, like not being able to go to lunch with my mom or go shopping for a crib with my sisters—all these things that you’d normally be able to do throughout a pregnancy. We’re just focusing on the things that we can control and focusing on the positive—overall we’ve been very fortunate. And I’m having a virtual baby shower next week.
Photos by Beth Sacca.
The post Pregnant in a Pandemic: Solo Dr. Appointments and FaceTime in Parking Lots appeared first on Man Repeller.
August 28, 2020
I Combed the Internet and Found the Best 8 Things on Sale This Week
I stumble across so many treasures on the internet while finding market for other stories. Here’s where I’ll share them with you, alternating weekly between vintage/second-hand and contemporary finds. Sign up here for our Shopping Newsletter, with eight additional finds every Friday.
This week, I’m highlighting some really cool items that are all on sale.
Pajama-esque shorts from Ace & Jig in a bold candy stripe.
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Some of my favorite everyday sneakers by Onitsuka Tiger are now $63.
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This statement Shrimps bag is on sale for 70% off at MATCHESFASHION. Who cares what athleisure I’m wearing when I have this.
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An incredibly gorgeous purple eyelet blouse at a sweet discount. It also comes in white!
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This citrus colored no-strap-tan-lines one piece is 50% off and just FYI would be great worn as a top, too.
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This puff sleeve ruched off-the-shoulders top with violet flowers is over 50% off.
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Reformation is having a huge sale that includes this romantic peplum top at 50% off.
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These elastic-waist cargo pants for under $50 which is a good way of wearing loungewear but not looking like it.
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Graphic by Lorenza Centi.
The post I Combed the Internet and Found the Best 8 Things on Sale This Week appeared first on Man Repeller.
7 Beauty Editors on the One Product They Routinely Buy
At a time when swiping countless beauty samples on the back of your hand in a packed Sephora is (probably) no longer part of your typical Saturday morning, personal beauty recommendations are especially helpful. With this in mind, we decided to republish this story from April 2019 in which seven beauty editors share the product they buy again and again.
One of the perks of working at a women’s media outlet is having access to a lot of beauty samples. Moisturizers, sunscreens, toners, cleansers, mascaras, lipsticks, blushes, bronzers — you name it, it’s probably made its way onto my desk at some point, and beauty isn’t even my main beat. A beauty editor could easily stop purchasing products altogether and simply coast on samples alone; and for the most part, I’m sure many of them do.
However, I know from my own experience and from talking to beauty editors in the industry that there are crucial exceptions to this modus operandi — products that are so beloved an editor will continue to purchase them, despite a closet full of free samples waiting in the wings. Products that have stood out amidst all the testing and experimenting as “Holy Grail” staples worthy of personal investment. These are the products I’m most interested in hearing about, because I know that if beauty editors are spending money on them, they’re truly the best of the best. Ergo, I asked seven beauty editors whose skin I admire on a very regular basis to tell me the one product they’re so obsessed with they consistently repurchase it. Scroll down to read what they said.
Thatiana Diaz
Thatiana is a beauty writer at Refinery29.
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A post shared by Thatiana Diaz (@thatiana.diaz) on Jan 28, 2019 at 4:58pm PST
What is the one beauty product you will always spend your own money on? I have sensitive, acne-prone skin, so my dermatologist has always stressed that I use noncomedogenic beauty products, which don’t clog the pores. When looking for one in the drugstore, I discovered La Roche Posay’s Toleriane Double Repair Face Moisturizer with SPF. It seemed fancy enough where I felt like I was investing in my skincare but was still ideal for my budget. This shopping experience was years ago, and I haven’t been able to replace this moisturizer, even with all the new launches that come across my desk as a beauty writer.
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How long does it typically last you before you have to repurchase? It lasts me about two to three months before I repurchase.
What makes it so obsession-worthy? While my co-workers complain about the dry office air often in the winter, I’ve never felt their woes (thankfully). This moisturizer quenches my skin and keeps it hydrated in all conditions, even the harshest weather, which is ideal in New York City. It also gives my sensitive skin a level of comfort every time I apply it, so I know that I’ll never forget to wear it every morning. And using the version with SPF gives me sun protection without having to apply an extra product.
How do you typically use it in your routine? It’s the last step in my daytime routine after cleanser, toner, and serum. I don’t apply it at night as that’s when I’m treating my skin concerns with acne treatments. If you have combination skin, be strategic with your moisturizer. Give extra attention to your drier areas (for me, that’s my cheeks) and lightly apply on your more oily spots.
Hallie Gould
Hallie is a senior editor at Byrdie.
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A post shared by Hallie Gould (@gouldhallie) on Mar 28, 2019 at 11:11am PDT
What is the one beauty product you will always spend your own money on? It’s no secret [editors are sent] various skincare products as they launch from their respective brands. It’s a perk that’s yielded expensive taste, I’ll admit. But it’s also allowed me to find the few formulas I’d pay to replace, no questions asked. You know that specific type of panic—the kind that sets in when you realize you’re scraping the bottom of your favorite jar, bottle or tube when you need it most? For me, that happens when I’ve used the last of my beloved Renée Rouleau Triple Smoothing Berry Peel. If you’ve read my pieces before, this isn’t the first you’re hearing about this product. If you haven’t, welcome to church.
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How long does it typically last you before you have to repurchase? About three months.
What makes it so obsession-worthy? The peel is one of those magical products that works both instantly and over time. The formula looks and smells like jam, courtesy of all those antioxidant-rich berries with AHAs, BHAs and enzymes, and feels a bit spicy on your skin when you first apply it. But don’t fret. After 10 minutes and a quick rinse, you’ll notice a real, visible change (it brightens, evens, and retexturizes immediately, and, after a few uses, works to fade post-breakout marks, lift discoloration and smooth your skin’s overall surface texture).
How do you typically use it in your routine? I like to use it ahead of a big night out (after cleansing with Emma Hardie’s Moringa Cleansing Balm). It’s a real gem.
Kathleen Hou
Kathleen is the beauty director at New York Magazine’s The Cut.
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A post shared by Banana (@bananamag) on Nov 5, 2015 at 9:12am PST
What is the one beauty product you will always spend your own money on? Giorgio Armani’s Luminous Silk Foundation
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How long does it typically last you before you have to repurchase? I’ve found that a bottle lasts about a year.
What makes it so obsession-worthy? Years ago, before I was a beauty editor, I would faithfully plop down $60 for Giorgio Armani’s Luminous Silk Foundation. Now that I’m a beauty editor, I’ve tried zillions of foundations, but this remains my favorite (and it’s a favorite of celebrity makeup artists, too). It’s still the easiest to apply (you can even use your hands!) and you’ll get a beautiful, even, glowing seamless base that looks like real skin — or the dream, your skin when it’s on a hormonally balanced, celery juice and exercising five-times-a-week regimen. Armani may not have the 40 shades that Fenty does, but it recently expanded its range. The undertones are formulated just right so they won’t make you look grey or washed out.
How do you typically use it in your routine? I start by dabbing a few dots around my nose and blend out — this is where most people tend to have the most discoloration. I do a light layer first and add on more if need be; it won’t look cakey if I layer on coverage. It’s the foundation I recommend to everyone who wants to see what a fancy foundation can really do.
Lauren Valenti
Lauren is a beauty writer at Vogue .
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A post shared by Lauren Valenti (@lauren_valenti) on Feb 16, 2019 at 10:03am PST
What is the one beauty product you will always spend your own money on? Stila Liquid Glitter and Glow Liquid Eyeshadow
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How long does it typically last you before you have to repurchase? It definitely depends on how often I’m wearing glitter at a given time. I also have nearly every shade they offer in my repertoire, ha. But I’d say about six months for my best-loved shades.
What makes it so obsession-worthy? There’s this funny misconception about beauty editors that we’re automatically super skilled at doing our own makeup. I mean, I’m not terrible, but eyeshadow is still something that eludes me, especially when there’s shimmer involved. This liquid-gel glitter eyeshadow requires zero expertise for an iridescent disco eye in minutes. Seriously, it’s so easy it does the work for you and makes it look like you know what you’re doing. I’ve waxed on about it with many peers in the industry (I can always spot someone who’s wearing it!) and everyone agrees that it’s a true unicorn product.
How do you typically use it in your routine? I love wearing it when I go out at night, particularly in black-gold Molten Midnight or champagne-y Golden Goddess. It holds up impressively well for glitter, too. I apply it straight from the tube using the doe tip applicator and then quickly diffuse the edges with my ring finger. I tend to keep layering it on for maximum saturation. Also, I’ll sometimes start by smudging black eyeliner pencil on first if I want a smokier effect or a more graphic shape. One thing to note is that it dries really fast, so keep that in mind as you’re blending!
Khalea Underwood
Khalea is a beauty editor at The Zoe Report.
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A post shared by Khalea Underwood (@letsbekhalear) on Feb 16, 2019 at 8:54am PST
What is the one beauty product you will always spend your own money on? I’m sure that my friends, coworkers, #instafam, second cousins and the kind lady who bags my favorite beef patty at Golden Krust are all tired of me singing the praises of Glossier’s Boy Brow (in Black). But I can’t help it. For me, it truly is that desert island, can’t-live-without-it product that I absolutely need to have on my face before I leave the house. It comes second to SPF and moisturizer, and I keep at least two or three backups in my at-home beauty closet. It’s that serious.
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How long does it typically last you before you have to repurchase? My only qualm with Boy Brow is the fact that it’s so tiny. Since I use this every day (except for Sunday… only God can judge me, so I go to church without makeup on), I tend to run through one tube every month and a half.
What makes it so obsession-worthy? For some reason, it’s really tough to find black eyebrow products. And many of the ones that are available are way too dark. This gel is justtt right, and it enhances my arches without overpowering them. The mini brush is great for getting into those tiny gaps and curves. And the consistency is fantastic, too — perfectly waxy without being too sticky.
How do you typically use it in your routine? At first, I was a bit intimidated by the tiny brush applicator, but I’ve found that the key to applying Boy Brow like a pro is to hold it as you would with a pencil and create those same hair-like strokes using a light hand. I learned this the hard way, when my sister called me out on my “harsh” shape. The formula is very pigmented, so apply it lovingly. Sometimes, I’ll go in with a micro pencil to fill in any gaps, and I always blend the product in with a spoolie for a natural finish.
Ari Bines
Ari is a fashion and beauty writer at Bustle.
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A post shared by Ari • The Body Brat (@ms.bines) on Apr 4, 2019 at 6:07am PDT
What is the one beauty product you will always spend your own money on? Glossier Boy Brow [Ed note: This repeat answer was a coincidence, but certainly makes for a compelling case!]
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How long does it typically last you before you have to repurchase? Since I wear a full face of makeup almost every day, I go about a month and a half before having to replenish with a new tube.
What makes it so obsession-worthy? I think I have an obsession with this one product because even though I have days where I feel like I have no eyebrows, Boy Brow creates these natural, bushy brows with just a couple of swipes.
How do you typically use it in your routine? It’s the first thing I apply to my face after a deep cleanse and moisturizer. Then I put concealer under my arches with either a flat eyeliner brush or any brush with a thin edge to carve out and shape my brows — it makes them look even thicker.
Carly Cardellino
Carly is the brand beauty director at Cosmopolitan .
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A post shared by Carly Cardellino (@carlycardellino) on Dec 19, 2018 at 5:19pm PST
What is the one beauty product you will always spend your own money on? Thrive Cosmetics Instant Brow Fix Semi-Permanent Eyebrow Gel
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How long does it typically last you before you have to repurchase? I go through one once every three months!
What makes it so obsession-worthy? For me it’s like a red lip — it instantly makes me look pulled together. It has the truest pigment payoff I’ve seen yet and has a cone-shaped mascara-like brush that coats every brow hair without leaving clumps behind. Basically, it leaves me with the bushiest-looking brows that are both thick and dark. Personally, I love a super strong brow because I like the way it pops against my platinum hair, but you can also apply it in a lighter manner if you just want to slightly amp up your arches.
How do you typically use it in your routine? Typically I start applying it at the beginning of my brow, and then brush it through toward the arch and tail end, filling in any sparse spots and creating the illusion of a thicker brow throughout.
Feature image via Arielle Bines.
The post 7 Beauty Editors on the One Product They Routinely Buy appeared first on Man Repeller.
August 27, 2020
Tie Dye Forever: The Outfit Anatomy of Mordechai Rubinstein
Welcome to Outfit Anatomy, a series of comprehensive style analyses that aim to break down the mechanics of why we wear what we wear. Up this week is Mordechai “Mister Mort” Rubinstein, who authored the recent book Dead Style. In it, Mordechai chronicles the outfits and personalities he encountered over the past few years at Dead & Company concerts, from the perspective of a newly minted Deadhead. (For those curious, at the time of the interview, Mordechai referred to “Not Fade Away” as his favorite Grateful Dead song.) You may have also become cinematically acquainted with Mordechai’s work, whether you knew it or not: He’s been involved with the costume design for the Safdie brothers’ two most recent films, Good Time and Uncut Gems. Read on to learn more about how Mordechai transitioned from his Hasidic Jewish upbringing to wearing tie-dye in unparalleled ways.
When I get dressed, normally I think about headgear, because I don’t ever leave my house with my head uncovered. Scarred from wearing a yarmulke most of my life. But I just feel naked without a hat or headgear.
I wore a straw cowboy hat, which is brand new to me. But it’s not very easy to wear a cowboy hat around Brooklyn. You know, I got dressed the other day and I told my wife, “I can’t start pushing the stroller in this cowboy hat, I look like such an idiot.” It’s like, why was it fine in Maine? Why was it fine in the photo shoots? But I’m obsessed with it. It’s straw. And it’s a straw cowboy hat, and it’s so sick. I like to challenge myself. Tie-dye, that’s easy. But wearing a cowboy hat with tie-dye? Maybe not. But also, it’s perfect.
I grew up with all secondhand stuff from neighbors and thrift shops and hand-me-downs from siblings, and I never really had anything new to break in myself. And then when I got something new, like a Barbour jacket finally in my 30s, I’m like, “Wow, I’ll get this wax all patina-ed, and ripped and everything.” And yeah, it broke in on the stress points, but never to really my liking. These days, so much clothing is disposable, and you can’t even wear it out. You wear it out before you wear it in.
I’ve got a lot of tie-dye, from turtlenecks to mock necks to button-ups to T-shirts to underwear to long johns to socks. To hats, yeah, I’ve got hats too.
And you know, tie-dye’s hot. The book is new and that’s hot for me, and tie-dye is trending. Even though to me, it’s in all year, every day, all season. I don’t really care about trends. You know, people ask me, “So are you over it because it’s trending so hard?” Nah, I’m wearing it ten times more. Because of my book, but also because it makes me just feel good.
Dead Style: A Long, Strange Trip into the Magical World of Tie-Dye by Mordechai Rubinstein.So yeah, so this tie-dye has an Owsley, you might call it Grateful Dead or Dead bear in the dead center of the shirt. It’s kind of like the Kool-Aid Man. This bear is wearing a raincoat, like a yellow slicker with a yellow matching bucket hat with raindrops falling on him, with rain boots, playing the guitar, smiling in the center of the shirt.
So this bear is playing the guitar in the rain. And to me, I love rainy days because New York is so very black in its color. Well, not lately—but you know fashion, it’s always like this thing that people wear black. And I’m so anti-that, partly because I grew up Hasidic Jewish and I just wore so much black my whole life, and now I’m just so happy to express myself in color.
Normally I wouldn’t buy a shirt with holes, but when I look at a tie-dye, and a Grateful Dead tie-dye with holes, I start thinking, Wow, whoever owned this really loved it, really lived in it.
These are a do-it-all short. They’re like magenta, fuchsia. I love pink. I like any shade of pink. They’re kind of like a play on the Baggies. You know, fortunately and unfortunately, no one does it better than them [Patagonia]. This is a sort of a play on it from Nike ACG.
It’s a play on it because these shorts aren’t locked: They don’t have the bag like a Baggie does, but they have sort of like a mesh lining. I could wear them three days in a row, and I like shorts like that as a dad. But you can’t really wear them in the water because they don’t dry. I love the pink color, and I love the six-inch inseam, maybe six and a half, and I’ve got them hiked up. And my shirt is oversized, which I love because I love to be comfortable.
I’ve got a sweater around my neck, which I’ve never really done successfully outdoors because it’s a very tennis look, and I know nothing about that sort of rich lifestyle, but I love to look at it and think I know what I’m doing. It’s a beautiful purple.
What I like about this shirt and sweater combination is when the sweater’s on, there’s a good two, three inches coming out of the waistband that’s tie-dye. You might say, “Oh, this is about tie-dye. Don’t you want to be showing off your tie-dye?” And I say, “Well, you know, sometimes less is more.” I could put the sweater on and you’ll see the tie-dye coming out of the waistband, and it’s way more powerful than this giant Owsley bear in the center.
And I’ve got a new pearl necklace that I’m obsessed with. It’s got a strawberry glass bead, a heart glass bead and a blueberry glass bead, because my daughter loves strawberries and blueberries. It’s so normal for guys to wear nail polish and pearl necklaces now, and I like that. I think they should be for anyone that wants to wear it. So yeah, it’s my new accessory.
Dad style is grabbing what’s on the floor when your wife says to go get milk in the morning.
In Maine, I wore ragg wool socks every single day for like four months because it’s just so nice and cozy. You could run out and get the mail in them. You can walk around the cabin in them. You can use your foot like a broom to get rid of sand in the doorway in them. So I do love a ragg wool sock, or a merino sock, all year.
For tie-dye, I like secondhand because I like lived-in clothes, and this particular shirt has holes in it. Normally I wouldn’t buy a shirt with holes, but when I look at a tie-dye, and a Grateful Dead tie-dye with holes, I start thinking, Wow, whoever owned this really loved it, really lived in it. They must’ve done a ton of acid. And maybe if I wear it, I’ll feel some of that good energy, you know?
And the holes also act as kind of cooling vents. I like new because I want it to break in and fade, but I like old because it’s true, tried and tested, and it’s already perfectly lived in and broken in. You know? I do like to mix new and secondhand. I don’t really wear secondhand hats anymore. I definitely don’t wear secondhand shoes anymore. I wore a ton of that for the last 20, 30 years.
I took some interviews back in the day about like, dad style is trending. I wasn’t even a dad, and it’s just fun to talk about because I just love the way dads dress. And then all of a sudden, it becomes a thing. And then all of a sudden, I’m a dad. So I’m like, “Bro, bro, let me tell you something, you young kids out there with no kids yet. Let me tell you something you childless dad style dudes. Dad style is grabbing what’s on the floor when your wife says to go get milk in the morning. That’s dad style.”
In the sense that today, I’m pushing my daughter around the neighborhood, I don’t need to get dressed. However, somebody might see me, and you want to present yourself at all times. You want to get dressed. You want to look good. It makes you feel good.
If I wear the same shorts and T-shirt every day pushing the stroller, it’s like you’re that guy. I don’t want to be that guy. But I also don’t want to be a clown getting dressed up every day for a fashion show that’s not happening. So I battle with myself.
If you have a hankering for s’more tie-dye, might we suggest: decadently dyed socks care of General Store, Cotton Citizen, Anonymous Ism, and Midland, sweatsuits and sweatshorts by Brian Robert Jones of LXIX, or the ever-elusive pair of tie-dye underpants?
The post Tie Dye Forever: The Outfit Anatomy of Mordechai Rubinstein appeared first on Man Repeller.
Where Are Our Favorite Middle School Time-Wasters Now?
We’re now six-ish years into quarantine (give or take), and if you’re like me, you’ve exhausted your at-home activities. I’ve watched everything on Netflix, twice. I’ve baked so many loaves of bread that the Pillsbury Doughboy sees me as a threat to his livelihood. I’ve even considered reading a book, like some sort of pioneer. Things are getting desperate.
Recently, in between looking up every house on Selling Sunset, I started thinking about the internet of the early 2000s. Back then, as a middle schooler, I would spend hours methodically clicking through the same few websites, flying past my allotted time on the family desktop. It didn’t matter that the graphics were pixelated or that a MIDI version “My Boo” by Usher blasted whenever I opened a new page. I was enraptured.
So in the name of journalism, I logged back on to my most beloved sites from the early 2000s, to see how they held up today.
Neopets
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A post shared by Neopets (@neopetsofficialaccount) on Apr 21, 2020 at 4:00pm PDT
If you were too busy going to parties and playing kissing games in Ashley’s basement to have been into Neopets, here’s how it worked: First you created a digital pet. Then you played games to earn Neopoints, which you used to buy useless online objects. Let’s break that down. Say you spent 14 hours of your precious youth earning 10,000 Neopoints. You could then buy your pet a virtual spaghetti that he doesn’t even thank you for, before you get back to work to buy more. (I don’t have kids, but I assume this is what having them is like.)
The game teaches kids some valuable lessons—like sometimes buying things really does make you feel better. (At least that’s the one that stuck with me.)
Is it still around? Absolutely. Much like the Abercrombie and Fitch at my hometown mall, this site has not been updated since 2004.
Is it as fun as you remember? I’ve spent most of my life chasing the high I experienced after earning 1000 points playing something called Zurroball. But while my 12-year-old self was right about some things—Lance was the best member of N’Sync and the purple sparkle gel pen does make you seem mature—this one doesn’t quite hold up.
How much time can you waste on it? 45 minutes. After I spent all my points, it was time to send my Neopet—Ashlee_Simpson_90—to run around on that big farm upstate, while I go back to compulsively googling “can you catch COVID from too many zoom happy hours?”
Dollz Mania
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Anybody else remember spending hours making these Dollz???? #dollzmania #early2000s #regression
A post shared by Katie E (@healthyishintentions) on Oct 28, 2019 at 5:29pm PDT
One day, when I’m 150 years old, pumped so full of silicone that I’m unrecognizable as a human, I imagine myself lying in bed, surrounded by wide-eyed great-grandchildren, begging me to tell them again about the adventures I’d had as a pre-teen.
“Well,” I’d say. “After school, I’d rush home, smash a handful of Wheat Thins into my mouth and spend the entire afternoon making tiny pixelated dolls in tube tops.”
Dollz Mania, and its many imitators, were basically flashy paper dolls that you’d put in club clothes and wigs with chunky highlights, posting them on MySpace because “this one looks just like me.” (It did not.)
Is it still around? Not as we know it. It’s sad, because if a glitchy online doll platform can’t make it, then who can? But the Wayback Machine has archived some similar sites from its 2004 heyday here. I’m sure the Smithsonian is hard at work on a full exhibit on these dolls as we speak.
Is it as fun as you remember? Nothing can be as fun as I remember this being. After dragging around a few pairs of low-rise jeans, I remembered that I’m an adult with a Netflix subscription and ¼ bottle of wine in the back of the fridge.
How much time can you waste on it? 5 minutes—the same amount of time I spend each day trying and failing to follow a YouTube cat-eye tutorial.
AIM (AOL Instant Messenger):
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Writers Club: Holding Onto Others Is Hard and Messy—It’s Also Worth It
Below, the winning respondent to our latest Writers Club prompt: “Tell us a story about something that made you feel like a piece of something larger than yourself, or a moment that instilled a sense of unity in you.”
The ice maker’s thumps kept me up. My sloth-like sleep had officially vanished, completing my transformation into a twitchy night owl. I caved and reached for my phone. Two emails, four texts, and the gloomy reminder that I hadn’t slept (again): 5:13 a.m.
After campus closed down a few months before graduation, I rushed back home to Maryland, longing for my family. In a second, plans changed. Mom flew to Mexico City after her sister (and one of my favorite people in the world) got sick—to say goodbye. My brother’s lease kept him in LA, and Dad was forced to travel for work. Suddenly, it was me and the growling fridge.
Sleeping only got harder. I sat on Dad’s chair. I comforted Mom through a screen. I tried making my brother’s lasagna (and failed). I reread years’ worth of emails from my aunt—we wrote each other every week. My heart ached and my mind wandered into its scariest, loneliest alleys.
Unity seemed like the only possible antidote for a world turned inside out. Reality proved to be much more fragmented.
The first few weeks after COVID-19 reached America, I pinned all my hopes on togetherness. Unity seemed like the only possible antidote for a world turned inside out. Reality proved to be much more fragmented. Less than a third of Americans, mostly white, could work from home. Essential workers, mostly Black and Latinx, faced the virus unprotected, bearing a stunningly disproportionate share of deaths. Those in close quarters determined by discriminatory housing practices got easily infected, while a few safely quarantined in their second homes. An unequal healthcare system failed Black and Latinx communities, already grappling with another public health crisis: systemic racism. Words like “disparity” and “privilege” had never sounded emptier. The pandemic laid bare some of the oldest, ugliest cracks in America—infuriating, heartbreaking, alienating cracks.
Ahmaud Arbery’s execution video made me sick. I couldn’t look at Breonna Taylor’s pictures without crying. I had nightmares about walking down the street, my face covered like Elijah McClain’s. George Floyd’s senseless murder was the final straw. Another name on an endless list. Another crack in a broken system. As an Afro-Latina, my whole life seemed to be about the cracks. I got tired of explaining things to my white friends. I sobbed without realizing. I screamed in rage. I missed my family. I knew I would miss my aunt all my life. I wanted a hug, a (literal) shoulder to cry on.
Just when the distance between me and others reached interplanetary proportions, something changed. People got together. Walking the DC streets next to thousands no longer willing to accept apathy as a response to the open wounds and endlessly transmutable oppressions, I felt connected again. I exhaled some of my pain by sharing it with others.
I always thought togetherness had no room for discomfort.
Then, my family finally came home. We had pizza in the backyard. I sat next to Mom, her dimples surfacing when she smiled. Dad finally sat on his chair, which “he’d missed.” My brother promised lasagna.
I always thought togetherness had no room for discomfort. But as each of us talked about what we’d lived through, sharing felt messier. My brother and I told the stories of the people we marched for. My parents talked about their own experiences with discrimination. We cried at the never-ending struggles. We toasted my aunt. We laughed.
The edges of our conversation that warm afternoon weren’t smooth. But we listened. We shared. I realized it could all be shared—anguish, joy, grief, hope. Cutting through the space between us may never come easy—but being part of something larger, knowing that the bridges are as real as the cracks, has never felt more necessary.
Graphic by Lorenza Centi.
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August 26, 2020
Let’s Talk About Queer Sex and Love, Baby
Lately the definition of “pleasure” has been difficult to grasp—with our needs and desires changing daily, depending on the kind of world we wake up to. And yet, at the same time, pleasure is so crucial. Whether it manifests as a croissant purchased on a whim, a head-whipping dance break, or gratifying solo or partnered sex, having the nerve to seek pleasure at all is its own radical form of self-care.
I’ve realized this on a personal level during quarantine, and I’m also now beginning to understand different, and beautiful, versions of love and sex outside of heteronormativity with my girlfriend. The cultural conversation around sexual pleasure has so consistently centered on a narrow category of cis-white-hetero maleness, that exploring and redefining pleasure is now a necessity. (Pleasure as resistance is a fundamental aspect of queer and feminist theory, discussed through different lenses by the likes of Audre Lord, Adrienne Maree Brown, and Eve Sedgwick.)
So when Man Repeller had the opportunity to partner with Swedish intimacy lifestyle brand Lelo on a story, I looked back to the heart of their business, which began in 2003 with the question: “What if our most intimate items were made as beautiful as the ones we displayed with the most pride?”
Queer intimacy and queer sex feel directly connected to this premise. It’s both crucial to display and share stories of love and pleasure in queer partnerships so that young people—like the younger version of myself—can more clearly see the shape of their sexuality. And so they can see their sexuality as one of the most extraordinary parts of themselves. Not to mention, toys are often a key element of queer intimacy.
So, I decided to talk with two queer couples about how they define and express pleasure in their relationships (and so much more).
The Couple That’s Saying “F*ck it” to Gender Roles
Brittany Cortez, 21, and Mack Litzenberg, 22
Brittany, an educator and writer, and Mack, a computer science student and musician have been together for a year and a month and met on Tinder (“Somehow we missed the boat on Lex?”). For our Google Hangout interview, both wore bandanas around their necks, an instance of matching that they describe as “never planned, but somehow always happens.” Their dog Xoco sat sandwiched between them.
My first question is kind of broad: What does the word “pleasure” mean to you both?
Brittany: It means a lot of different things. I’m super passionate about nourishing yourself in small ways throughout the day. I like to surround myself with certain colors, and smells, and things like that. [To Mack] What about you? I feel like, for you, pleasure is, like, organization. Kind of the opposite.
Mack: I like it when things are where they should be.
Brittany: Can we talk more in a sexual way too?
Mack: We’re very open with each other. She’s a top, I’m a bottom. We’re very open to trying new things with each other, and having that trust and vulnerability can be really nice.
Brittany: One of the most interesting things about queer sex is that you don’t have these predetermined roles. When you say “sex” to a queer person, you have no idea what they actually could be referring to. The acceptance of that has been key to a lot of our pleasure. Just like, Wow, we can literally do anything, and if it makes us feel good, and it’s fun, it’s sex.
How does asserting and discussing queer pleasure manifest in your partnership?
Brittany: Both of us came in with a lot of shame. I continue to have shame that doesn’t go away—but one small way you can fight against it is to have fun with your body. That alone is so powerful.
Mack: Yeah. Part of it is also not feeling like because you’re queer, the sex that you have is “less than” because it’s not your typical [finger in hole gesture] sex…
Brittany: I mean, it can be.
Mack: Well, it can be, but it’s not “less than” if it’s not that.
How has quarantine been for you guys? Has it given you the opportunity to spend more time together, and how has that felt?
Mack: We’ve heard of a lot of other people break up during quarantine. But we really get along all the time. We squabble about stupid shit. It’s like, “Oh, I moved the pot, where was it before?” And by “pot” I mean flower pot, not pot.
Brittney: We’re so sober.
Mack: Just clarifying it’s our orchid Constance.
“Toys are an essential part of sex for us. They always have been. I’m super about it. It’s just a really cool, unique part of queer partnerships.”
Brittney: Not to bring up astrology, but I’m an Aries and they’re a Sagittarius, so it’s like impossible to hide our idiosyncrasies.
Mack: If we have kept stuff from each other, it never lasts very long. You know? We have managed to foster something where we’re actually able to talk about literally anything and not be judged. I haven’t really had that with a lot of people.
Mack: I also got [top] surgery in quarantine. So that’s a whole fun thing.
Wow! Congratulations!
Mack: Thank you. It was very exciting.
Since toys are such a special aspect of queer intimacy for many—how do you feel about using them? How do you like the Lelo products?
Brittany: Toys are an essential part of sex for us. They’re just a really cool, unique part of queer sex and partnerships.
Mack: You get to pick the dick size you want. Can’t do that with straight people.
Brittany: We don’t want to say that all gay people have the same bodies or anything like that, but queer people, regardless of their anatomical features, are more likely to have sex in a variety of ways with a variety of objects. And that’s super cool.
Mack: The Lelo product we picked was the spicier one…
Brittany: It was super unique—we had the suction one. [Note: It’s the Sona
2 Cruise!]
Amalie: I saw that and I was like, “I don’t even know how that works, but I’m intrigued.”
Mack: 10/10 would recommend.
The Couple That Finds Pleasure Through Intimate Understanding
Utibe Mbagwu, 25 and Cristal Jefferson, 24
Utibe is the social media editor at Glossier and Into the Gloss and her partner Cristal is a production coordinator and camera operator at Vice. They’ve been together for four years, since they met via the Organization of Black Women at NYU. Cristal patched into our call from Portland, where she’s covering Black Lives Matter and Antifa, among other things (including murder hornets) and Utibe called in from their shared apartment in Bed Stuy.
How are you two finding time for yourselves right now? And what do you most enjoy doing when spending time together?
Utibe: I’m really busy during the weekdays. It was kind of accepted that from nine to six, when I’m working, I’m really in the office working. We usually try to spend time together in the morning, and talk about our day, and make plans for what’s going to happen after work hours, when we like to watch something on Hulu or cook dinner.
Cristal: I need a little bit of time with her in the morning before she hops out of bed, because when she says she works, this girl works. I can’t get too many moments in that timeframe when she’s working. For someone like me, who has more free time, I’ve definitely had to learn to adjust my needs.
“Because we’re so sure in ourselves, we’re able to find pleasure and enjoyment in our identities outside of the mainstream. We’ve created this really nice bubble, this safe space that’s like an armor against the world.”
It sounds like you guys have really figured out what works for you! I’ll move on to one of the headier questions: What does the word pleasure mean to you both, individually and also as a couple?
Cristal: You can go first, babe. That’s your thing.
Utibe: For me, it’s finding the things that create that energy where you’re just… where things feel magical in the relationship. The person just gets you.
Cristal: The understanding in this relationship is really important. Utibe knows my relationship with sex, and she knows my limits. She’s very verbal. We like to talk through it. That itself is very pleasurable and comforting. It’s just weird. The way we vibe is really weird.
Utibe: [Laughs] Clarify what you mean by weird!
Cristal: It’s great. It’s unexplainable. I’ve never been able to just talk to someone all day, every day, and never be bored, or always find excitement waking up and being able to talk to you, Utibe.
So for this next question: I know we talked about how I based this pitch in concepts from queer theory about pleasure as a form of resistance, so how do you both feel like that comes into play for you?
Cristal: Being in the relationship and being queer has forced me to break down a lot of the heteronormative images and experiences that I have had, to open up my view of how sex can be—and how relationships can be, and how gender roles are not really a thing. I feel like our friends really look up to Utibe and I in this weird way because we’re queer.
Utibe: Being truly ourselves has allowed other people to be truly themselves—and be open about the kind of lives that they want to lead. I have a couple of friends who, through me being open with them, has allowed them to be like, “I really want to have a relationship with a woman at some point. How was your experience coming to terms of your queerness?”
I made friends with a couple last year, and I credit them for showing me what real love is and showing me the side of my sexuality that I didn’t even understand. Their relationship is so beautiful and special. I was like, “I want that.” I’m sure you do that for a lot of your friends, too.
Utibe: Sometimes people need a possibility model. People need to know that this is possible.
Totally. Okay, now I’m going to ask about the sex stuff! How do you feel about toys in the bedroom in general and how do you feel about the Lelo products?
Utibe: I would just say that Cristal and I just go with the flow and go with the mood. There isn’t really a plan. It’s just kind of if we feel like it, then we’ll use one. Sometimes we’ll be hanging out with friends and we’ll pass by a sex shop and we’ll all go in and be like, “Okay, let’s get this one little thing and see how it goes.” It’s just kind of how we feel. I think that’s how it is for a lot of people.
Cristal: Yeah. I think maybe within the last year or so we started using sex toys and it’s been fun. It’s been exciting. It spices up the routine of it, you know what I mean? I feel like you got to warm yourself up to sex toys and getting into that. But I feel like they’ve been very…
Utibe: They’re fun. They’re ultimately fun to use.
Cristal: Yeah. “We like sex toys” is basically the consensus.
Honestly, same! We talked a little bit about how your relationship has changed in quarantine—has it impacted your sex life or made you feel more intimate with each other at all?
Utibe: Well, Cristal and I just moved into our first apartment together. She’s been living with me forever, but we officially are living together now. I feel like we’re having more sex than before because we’re together all the time. I think also building a home together has been a really intimate experience and that’s created another layer of love between us. We’re having a good time together.
Cristal: You have to be very mindful because I feel like a lot of people have also broken up during Covid. Utibe and I have been really good at working through this in a healthy way. What I love about being in this relationship is that Utibe is very much an active partner in making this work for as long as it can. And it’s really special.
Utibe: I feel like there’s so many places with stressors and we’ve been working, managing them together. It hasn’t always been perfect, but we’ve given each other this grace to make mistakes.
I’m so glad you guys have had each other through this, and I’m glad you moved in when you did. It sounds like it’s been really important.
Cristal: Yeah. We’re very lucky.
The last thing I’ll ask you guys is if there’s something we didn’t get to in our conversation that you want people to know. Thoughts?
Cristal: Recently my friends have said, “Oh, I don’t know how lesbians have sex.” And people will ask me. But you should educate yourself. You shouldn’t put the labor on someone else to educate you about queer sex.
Utibe: Read a book, watch a film by a queer filmmaker. There’s so many other options. Don’t put the labor on other people.
Amalie: Totally, and sex is so many different things. It could be literally anything.
Cristal: Anything. It could be rubbing on someone’s shoulder with your shoulder.
Utibe: People don’t get it.
Utibe, do you have anything that you wanted to add?
Utibe: Just that I love Cristal.
Cristal: Oh my God. I love you too, Utibe.
LELO SONA 2 Cruise
LELO TIANI 3
LELO SORAYA 2See All 3
Photography by Beth Sacca.
The post Let’s Talk About Queer Sex and Love, Baby appeared first on Man Repeller.
Please Join Me in Wholeheartedly Embracing Bicyclecore
The only accessorizing I’m interested in these days comes in the form of bike-adjacent gadgetry: a trusty bike lock, a basin-like bike basket, a sturdy handlebar mount for your phone, and a bike helmet that fits like a glove. No product page online speaks to me quite like the one for Hammacher Schlemmer’s Indoor Cycling Conversion Stand.
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At the intersection of necessary cultural adaptation and late summer style lies bicyclecore. This is a kind of suffixed phenomenon that prompts more questions than it answers, which is what intrigues me. What’s the best mask to wear while biking in a densely populated area? How do you dress for work when your traditional commute to work has been supplanted by a bicycle? Is it really any sweatier an enterprise than riding a crowded subway across town? How do you cross pollinate your regular wardrobe with cycling-friendly clothes? At what point in a relationship are you ready to jump to the next level: the tandem bike?
For many, gearing up for a cycle isn’t a revelatory element of getting dressed: they’ve been biking from their points A to B, whether in Copenhagen or Montana or New York, well before the pandemic, though I’m hoping that a new influx of emerging bike-riders does spawn a tidal wave of bicyclecore.
In unabashed embrace of bicyclecore, I’m eyeing Rapha’s collaboration with Outdoor Voices (available here and here), along with COS’s performance sports bras and leggings, the cow-printed Team Dream gear that Blackbird Spyplane tipped me off to, Tracksmith’s Bislett pants for longer rides with leg coverage, this tangy bicycle basket by Baba Tree, and the Pushbutton bike shorts Telsha Anderson sourced for her concept store, t.a. For tips on how this all comes together, I spoke with experts both local and abroad on how to fuse bicyclecore seamlessly into their daily routine.
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Incognito mode…
I’ve never been of the school that enjoys wearing bike shorts for anything other than a scrimmage or rally, but after months of traveling only by bicycle, the pairs in my drawer have found new purpose as the clandestine undergarment that allows me to wear a skirt or a dress anywhere. Outdoor Voices’s often-lauded Exercise Dress is tailor-made for a scenario where you’re biking but also want to approximate some semblance of dressiness. Here’s how to do it: Pack a sweater in a hands-free bag (this one is like the overnight version of a gym bag), or tie it in a “half-cape” way where one sweater arm loops under your armpit and ties onto the other arm draped over your shoulder. Then throw it on over the Exercise Dress once you’ve dismounted your ride, and presto, you feel more presentable!
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How are you #DoingThings in your Exercise Dress this summer? Keep tagging us and we'll do our best to share! 
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