Leandra Medine's Blog, page 5

8 of My Best Finds This Week, From IG to my DMs

I stumble across so many treasures on the internet while finding market for other stories. Here’s where I’ll share them with you, alternating weekly between vintage/second-hand and contemporary finds. Sign up here for our Shopping Newsletter, with eight additional finds every Friday.

When I have a little downtime, as I did over the holiday weekend, I often find myself cleaning up the weird forgotten corners on my iPhone (for ex: my saved folder on Instagram, where I mostly flag items I want to include on Repeller or in my closet styling appointments). Turns out: There were some serious finds in there. See eight that stood out, below!

1.

I have a folder on my phone of pieces I love most from market appointments. The last in-person market appointments I went to were in early March—which conveniently includes items that are just now available to purchase! I remember one specific appointment at the Lizzie Fortunato showroom, at which newly pregnant twins Lizzie and Katherine (who have each since given birth, to a beautiful boy and girl) showed me their newest collection. These groovy daisy earrings stood out.

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Daisy drop earrings


$285.00 Shop Now







2.

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A/W 2020 – Launching on 27th August Photographer: Julia Hetta Stylist: Hannes Hetta

A post shared by CAMPERLAB (@camperlab) on Aug 3, 2020 at 5:00am PDT

I’m writing a story on my favorite loafers, and these—a new release by Camper Labs—will be featured. I keep circling back to them in my saved folder on Instagram for obvious reasons: They’re the perfect amount of chunky, and I love when loafers have rubber soles: no slipping on the subway platform!

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Leather Rubber-soled loafers


$280.00 Shop Now







3.

Another pair of shoes! Amalie and I often Slack each other about things we find on the interwebs. I presented the brand Sixty-Nine to her and knew she’d love it: These square-toe clogs were a highlight for her, as they are for me.

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Square-Toe Denim Clogs


$250.00 Shop Now







4.

Speaking of clogs! Sometimes I’ll get DMs about products months after I first posted them. Someone recently asked me about cow-print clogs from a while back—I usually remember what I post, but here I’m blanking. I guess I post cow-print clogs a lot…

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Faux leather square-toe zebra mules


$74.00 Shop Now







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Cow Print Clogs


$144.95 Shop Now







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Cow Print Clog Platform Mules


$142.95 Shop Now







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Slingback Cow Print Clogs


$99.99 Shop Now







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Cow Print Clogs


$99.95 Shop Now







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Open-toe Cow Print Clogs


$198.00 Shop Now








5. 

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mood for the weekend — high-cut cheeky shorts available at charworkroom.com

A post shared by CHAR Workroom (@charworkroom) on Aug 14, 2020 at 3:29pm PDT

I recently Instagram-Storied these teeny silver shorts and heard from a ton of fellow metallic hotpant-lovers in my DMs. I envision them worn with a chunky knit sweater or a vintage sweatshirt + a pair of dainty little ballet flats.

6. 

I also recently Instagram-Storied this photo of myself (hi!) in a cozy tie-dye set from Cotton Citizen. I wear this several days a week—while it’s a full-fledged outfit, it takes zero effort to throw on. I highly recommend any of the below sets to help you get dressed with ease, too:

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Tie-Dye Shorts


$90.00 Shop Now







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Tie-Dye T-Shirt


$110.00 Shop Now







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Tie-Dye T-shirt


$90.00 Shop Now







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Tie-Dye Drawstring Shorts


$155.00 Shop Now







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Tie-Dye Shorts


$22.50 Shop Now







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Tie-Dye Sweatshirt


$31.50 Shop Now







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Reworked Tie-Dye Shorts


$49.00 Shop Now







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Reworked Tie-Dye T-Shirt


$39.00 Shop Now








7.

I’ve been shouting from the rooftops about these reworked tanks from The Consistency Project, and I just received my own in the mail (ty USPS for the quick delivery!). I love them so much. That contrast stitching adds a little oomph to what otherwise would be just a plain ol’ spaghetti strap tank.

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Reworked Racerback Knit Tank


$45.00 Shop Now







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Reworked Racerback Knit Tank


$45.00 Shop Now







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Reworked Cropped Knit Bralette


$40.00 Shop Now







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Reworked Racerback Knit Tank


$48.00 Shop Now








8.

Last but not least: I’ve been trying to find a Lucite chain necklace since the beginning of summer. Corey Moranis makes this multicolored statement necklace that won’t make you sweat during the hot end of summer days and will also be amazing over a turtleneck come fall.

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Multicolor Lucite Chain Necklace


$332.00 Shop Now

The post 8 of My Best Finds This Week, From IG to my DMs appeared first on Repeller.

How to Shop Depop, Poshmark, eBay, and More, According to Teens

Everyone who knows me is aware that I have a big, burning, platonic (key word, lol) crush on Gen Z.

Gen Z was more tech savvy when they were shaking baby rattles than I was at age 12. They’re socially, politically, and environmentally engaged. They slam hate speech on TikTok in favor of words of encouragement. They tank entire Trump rallies. They have opened themselves up to a buffet of options to help them finesse their sexual identity. They’re cool!!!

Not to mention, many of them happen to be extremely savvy at shopping second-hand. Whether they’re trolling Depop or sifting through the racks of their local donation-based church thrift stores, they’ve acquired some of the best tricks of the trade for digital and IRL treasure hunting. 

And while I’m aware that I’m speaking broadly, the teens that I know these days are fundamentally great in so many ways, they give me hope for a future that, in less hopeful moments, looks deeply uncertain. And how special is it for the reputation of an entire generation be characteristics and behaviors that I wish I found more often in my *own* generation?

Anyway, before I permit a single, loving tear to slide down my nose and drip onto the exclamation key, I’ll allow these cool teens to speak for themselves. All my sweeping “generation generalizations” ring true with Joyce, 19, and Orlie, 18—second-hand-savvy teens I had the privilege of speaking to this week in New York. Below, they share some of their expertise, alongside the tips of other teens in the Repeller audience who bestowed their best vintage shopping knowledge upon us via a survey. 

Get out your digital pad and pen for this one.

Joyce Matos, 19

Joyce is a sophomore at NYU Gallatin. She was born and raised in Ridgewood, Queens, and is actually finding Zoom classes to be kind of… nice?

On How it All Got Started

I think I started shopping thrift and vintage in late middle school. You grow up in New York and the thing to do is to go to L Train Vintage after school and just hang out in that miserable store where there’s never AC. I grew up in Ridgewood, and there was a huge thrift store there called Urban Jungle near my uncle’s factory.I would always go there, but my parents did not like me thrifting. It’s an immigrant thing, I think, like, “Why are you buying someone else’s clothes? We moved to America so you could buy new clothes.” Then I learned about fast fashion and I explained this to them, and they were like, “No, no, please buy new clothes or else why did we move here?”

In early ninth grade, when I was on Tumblr, there used to be more activism on Tumblr. I would read about fast fashion and labor practices, and it was very intense. I was aware of it to an extent, but not to the extent of photos and details and what sweatshop workers are going through. I read a book at that age, too, called Factory Girls, about the factories in one of the cities in southern China. It included testimonies from factory workers there, and I remember reading it and thinking about how awful it was. I had a debate with my mom about it because she was like, “That’s how they make their money. Are you going to deny them that?” and I said “People can still buy there, I just don’t have to buy there.” 

I know there are sustainable brands, but at the same time I don’t necessarily trust them. There have even been these debates around the ethics of second-hand shopping, about how Depop sellers are buying from charity shops and thrift stores that people depend on and marking it up. I don’t prefer Depop and tend to know which sellers do that and which ones I can trust. I prefer Poshmark for that reason. Poshmark isn’t like someone going to a thrift store, buying everything, and then selling it to upper-middle-class teenagers with a markup.

On What She’s Wearing Today

Today I wore Levi’s 522s. They’re like these low-rise, baggy jeans that I always wear. They’re very Avril Lavigne, low-rise, loose. The jeans make me feel like a boy, in a sense, and then I feel good about myself because I can breathe, I can move, and still look cool. And I wore a Hysteric Glamour tank top, which is pink with this graphic design on it. I found it on Japanese eBay. 

Before that, I was wearing a Betsey Johnson blouse that’s very frilly and cream colored and these Jean Paul Gaultier tan, low-rise flares. The Betsey Johnson shirt I found on Poshmark, as well as the Levi’s. The JPG pants I found at Hester Street Fair, which is a flea market event that happens in Chinatown. I’d consider this more of a fancy outfit. I like the colors together, the cream and brown and tan. Then I chose to use the plaid colors of the shoes to offset that. The vibe I’m always going for is like… an old stableboy who’s going to his first party. 

On Starting Your Search with Tumblr

To find what I’m looking for, I usually go on Tumblr. I’m an active Tumblr user—me and my closest friends all have them and we send each other stuff. We look at Fruits Magazine or Popeye, Japanese magazines, and find style inspiration there. Then I’ll go to Depop and start searching—I’ll put search terms into Depop and find the right names or brands of what I’m looking for. Then I’ll put it in Poshmark or Ebay because it’s always cheaper. 

That’s one of my tips: Find what you like on Depop and buy it somewhere else because the sellers won’t mark it up. The difference between the different resale apps is that Depop has become a business place, where sellers will go buy stuff and then mark it up, whereas Poshmark is just a bunch of middle-aged moms trying to clean out their closets. Depop is a different kind of platform for selling clothes. There are Depop sellers. You know the names of Depop sellers. They’re personalities.

On Finding the Hidden Gems

One platform I love is Japanese Ebay. It’s not called Japanese Ebay, it’s called something like Yahoo Shopping, which is Japan’s form of Ebay. Japanese Mercari is also really good. Rakuten is great. I mostly love Poshmark and I’ll use Depop sometimes—only sometimes. In real life, my favorite stores are Country Of on Essex, which used to be a stand at Hester Street Fair. Also Lara Koleji in Greenpoint. She has a great curation of clothing.

Find what you like and put in keywords: ropped blouse,” “orange cropped tee”. You just have to be really patient and communicate with the seller. Be polite and ask questions. If things are already cheap, then I won’t barter down, but if it’s more than I want to pay, then I’ll go a little lower than I’ll actually pay and they’ll usually meet me. 

Also, brands you wouldn’t expect to have good clothes, do. Early 2000s Loft? Good. The brands your mom would wear? Banana Republic, Loft, all of those corporate or office-wear brands, are really good. Their quality was better back then. There’s some good low-cut pants, really good blouses. Check out the mom brands. 

On Her Best Scores Ever

The best item I ever purchased second-hand was this purple figure-skating dress. It’s light purple mesh and has glittery flowers on it. It has a fairy-like hem—I wore it to prom. And I’m really into this old skate brand called Porn Star. It’s really hard to find. I found one shirt on Depop listed for $300, which was a no. Then I found one on eBay for $40 and I got them down to $20 and was very proud of myself. I love their labels, their tags. 

Orlie May White, 18

Orlie is a first-year student at Barnard College in Manhattan. She’s taking a class on the history of humanity wearing clothing and is loving it.

On Crafting Her Lewk

There’s a lot to say here. The first thing I’m wearing is this beret by Kangol. I got this at a flea market in Seattle because I was there for my cousin’s bar mitzvah. I had always wanted a beret—now I have a few and I collect them.

The next thing I have is this white bomber jacket. It says “The Kids from Wisconsin” on the back and on the front it says “Steve.” I always wanted to have some kind of athletic, football, jock-jacket, and this is the closest I’ll ever get to that.

My skirt is gingham, it looks like a picnic blanket and I really like the unique seams. There’s a thrift store in my hometown of Maplewood, New Jersey, where I found it, and I had my eye on it for a long time. It didn’t fit me properly in the waist, so I negotiated the price down after watching it for, like, months. I usually wear it with a belt and I love it. 

This belt and my necklace I bought in Morocco. I was lucky enough to spend three weeks doing a road trip there last summer with my family, because we knew some people that used to work there. In Morocco there are so many antique stores, even in the desert—all over the place. I could never get tired of looking at them. I negotiated with the owner for a price on this necklace, which is older, and this belt, which is newer. I love how they look together. 

My tank top is by Baby Phat, which I love. I was born in 2001 so I grew up in the 2000s and wasn’t really aware of the Baby Phat brand. Now I love the founder, Kimora Lee Simmons–I think she’s a really inspiring and confident woman. I wanted to support more Black-owned businesses in fashion, and a lot of people in my age group aren’t as familiar with Baby Phat. I really love it and love telling people about it. I actually wore it to my high school graduation, actually. I went to a Catholic school and always got in so much trouble for not abiding by uniform guidelines rules because I always wanted to be creative. I wasn’t allowed to do anything with the gown so I wore this underneath. I was sneaky like that; I’ve learned to dress that way.

My cowboy boots! Cowgirl boots, actually. I visited my grandmother who rented a house in the Berkshires. I went to the Goodwill that’s off the highway there and found these boots and they were only $6. I’d been wanting cowboy boots forever. They’re so cool and I love them so much.

This purse is from the Tekashi Murakami Louis Vuitton collaboration from the mid-2000s. I got it for my 10th birthday. My family is not into designer clothes and are not glamorous in any way like that. I was in Florida in the winter and my mom went to a Goodwill there. The story goes that she found this bag in some random bin in a hidden spot, and the lady at the store didn’t know what it was. She showed my mom that there was a small nail polish stain on the inside of the bag and assumed people wouldn’t want the bag because of the stain. My mom got it for $4. I’ve checked to see if it’s real, and there are these numbers that are inside that are supposed to indicate that, but real or not I love it.

I put this outfit together through trial and error. I wanted to have a variety of pieces that represented different time periods, different locations, different ways of acquisition. When dressing up for something, I try to make myself a little uncomfortable in the way I mix and match. A lot of the people who design these clothes probably never would imagine them being worn the way I wear them, but I feel like it’s a way of telling some kind of story that I might not even know. I always still feel like I’m in the dress-up phase of my life. When I was a kid I played dress-up all the time, and I feel like I just never moved on.

On Her Second-Hand Origins

The question should really be “When did I first start shopping FIRST-hand!” My mom raised my sister and I on consignment clothes. When we were little and our bodies were always changing and growing, my mom said we should always have hand-me-downs. There are some local neighborhood consignment stores for kids that most of my clothes came from.

I remember me and my sister being like, “I wish we could buy clothes from, like, Old Navy or something normal,” but my mom just always had the idea that this was the easiest and cheapest way to shop.

On Her Top Tips

For online shopping, it’s really good to have something specific in mind that you’re looking for. So many places that you would go to find things online are so oversaturated with people trying to get rid of things. It’s easy to feel lost or overwhelmed by the mere quantity. If you have the vision of something you’re looking for, or a look you want to achieve, a specific decade, material or brand will help narrow your search. The more specific, the better your chances are of finding something that fits your vision.

On Her Favorite Gown (Yes, Gown)

My favorite things I purchase are the things I feel most fabulous, glamorous, and fashionable in. I”m such a girly-girl, and I love getting dressed up. You can’t wear these big, voluminous pieces to the grocery store, but I’m so drawn to them. I found this vintage Elie Tahari gown at a church thrift store in Deerport, Florida. I was going to a wedding and didn’t like my dress, and I found this glamorous, beautiful, embellished dress that’s cut on the bias so it fits everyone that wears it. It’s my favorite piece, sometimes I just wear it around my apartment. Whenever I’m feeling bad or down, I’ll put on this dress just to make myself feel better. I can’t wait to, one day, have a place to wear it. 

Photography by Beth Sacca.

The post How to Shop Depop, Poshmark, eBay, and More, According to Teens appeared first on Repeller.

Team Repeller Annotates Their Instagram Mood Boards for Fall

Peeking at a person’s Instagram saved folder… what a rush. And if, while peeking, you also get an idea for something to wear in the near future? Like, to the laundromat or a pumpkin patch or something? Real value there! Below, Team MR shares the images they’ve been tapping, saving, and filing away with abandon.

“Maternity Leave Realness”

By Tiffany Wilkinson, Creative Director

The algorithm definitely knows I’m about to give birth—every other ad I get is for a nursing bra! I have a board of cool mums saved, and one of baby-related things. This board is a little mix of everything. As summer comes to an end I’m thinking about being cozy at home with a new baby. There are some noodles I want to eat from @meerasodha, the breast-feeding chair of my dreams from @claudehome, a shot of Alice Cooper and his family by Terry O’Neill, and, of course, some “back-to-school” looks.

1.

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Bon Weekend, We’ll Be Right Back!

Ah, Labor Day! Weirdly, it’s one of my favorite holiday weekends. Every year it feels like the big, delicious, final inhale before the months-long exhale of winter. It’s the kiss summer blows to us before exiting stage left. It’s a chance at a new beginning, a moment to emerge from your emotional chrysalis.

(And I would be remiss if I didn’t highlight the origins of Labor Day, honoring the US laborers who fought for livable wages and acceptable working conditions. Crack a cold one, eat a veggie burger, and decline to labor in their honor!!!)

Anyway, a little FYI for you: Over the past few months at Man Repeller, we’ve been working hard to renovate from the inside out. If you’ve been with us you’ve hopefully felt some of it, and seen it.

But there’s more TK! And by that I mean “to come.” (Editor lingo.) We’re putting a few final touches on some renovations starting—right now!—and we’ll be back on Wednesday with some shiny new updates for you.

This means it will be quiet on the site for the next few days. (I hope you’ll be so busy cannonballing into the body of water of your choice that you don’t even notice.)

In the meantime, here’s a list of ~fun~ things you can do this weekend:

Get lost on “Cleaning TikTok” and never look back.
Watch a movie with an absurd plot twist.
Select the 5 outfits you will make a point to be seen in this fall.
Attempt to make the perfect oatmeal and then share your research findings below.
Show this video to at least 10 friends in order to ensure positive energy and vibes this season.
If you’re in the US, vote by mail or request your mail-in ballot!

The post Bon Weekend, We’ll Be Right Back! appeared first on Man Repeller.

How to Write (or Not!) During a Pandemic #3: Vivek Shraya

Cutting well-done steak with a dull knife. Swimming in glue. Running on sand. These are the metaphors that come to mind when I try to describe the act of writing recently. There is no question that it’s an enormous privilege to have the time and space to do creative work at home right now, but it’s also a uniquely challenging moment in which to try and “take advantage” of that. Nearly six months into the pandemic, I’ve been eager to hear from writers about how they’ve been navigating the pressures and obstacles that result from such a dichotomy, and how current circumstances have impacted their writing process.

Today, I talked to Vivek Shraya, a creative multihyphenate (writer-musician-visual artist) hard at work on a new non-fiction book and adapting her debut play as a TV pilot. A tenth-anniversary edition of her book God Loves Hair is coming out this fall.

How has your writing process changed since the pandemic?

My main writing project at the moment is a new manuscript and for a book that’s supposed to come out with Penguin next fall. When the pandemic first hit, I was relieved to have something like that to keep me focused, but over time I have found that my creative energy has really dwindled. Writing has felt a lot more challenging and cumbersome because I don’t have the same ability to focus. I’m also missing the spark I used to get from the other aspects of my work–touring and performing and connecting with people. Without that, I’m finding that the artistic process is suffering.

The amount I’m writing day to day ebbs and flows as a result. First drafts can be painful even in the best of circumstances, but I try to keep the perspective that I’m fortunate to be at home and do the work that I’m doing in the first place.

Have you felt more pressure than usual to write/create during this time of isolation?

One of the unusual things about this pandemic is that the think pieces about it–and about productivity during it–are being written in real time. The way I manage my anxiety tends to be through creativity, so my response to this initial feedback loop on social media was to be like, “Oh OK, well I guess I better use this time to write three books and 16 songs.” And I started making a list of all these projects that I needed to work on in order to really take advantage of this time. I feel really grateful to the amazing writers and thinkers who quickly pushed back against that kind of thinking and reminded everyone that a pandemic is not the same thing as a writing retreat. That’s been important for me to acknowledge when my writing doesn’t feel particularly strong or fluid right now. I’m trying to write during a time when my mental health is not in the best space.

How and where have you been finding creative inspiration these days?

I’ve been watching a lot of TV. I felt very guilty about it at first, but my friends who are super generous told me it counts as “research,” because one of the other projects I’m working on right now is a pilot script adaptation of my play. Having given that connection more thought, I’ll also say that watching TV helps me think about chapters I’m writing as scenes. I’m more attuned to considering what the scene I’m writing looks like, and what I’m trying to convey with it. I never thought about writing from that perspective before, so I credit TV for the inspiration.

What’s something you’ve written recently that you’re especially proud of (even if it’s just a sentence!)?

I managed to finish the first draft of my new book of nonfiction for Penguin. I can’t say that the writing is extraordinary at this point–it’s very much a first draft–but any writing feels like a huge accomplishment right now. It feels nice to be like, “Well, at least I did this one thing.”

What’s the best thing you’ve read recently?

Girl Woman Other by Bernadine Evaristo, which was inspiring while I’ve been writing just because of the way her style is so fragmented, and how she pushes against the expectations of the sentence.

A book of poetry that just came out by Amber Dawn called My Art is Killing Me, which examines the connection between art production and capitalism in a really beautiful way.

And finally, Our Past Matters: Stories of Gay Calgary. Here in Canada I feel like so much of queer history or the LGBTQ history is rooted in Ontario or Toronto, but there’s gay history everywhere. It’s been really interesting to read about the history that’s taken place in my home province and where I’m living right now, especially because Pride season here is in September.

What advice would you give to young or aspiring writers who are trying to write something right now?

I think the biggest advice I would give is the same advice I’ve been trying to give myself: It’s okay not to write. It’s okay not to be creative. There’s so much pressure right now to be doing something, and I think it’s important for us to push against that as much as possible. So constantly remind yourself that it’s okay not to write, and it’s okay not to be creative, and it’s okay to watch TV and for it not to be inspiring.

The post How to Write (or Not!) During a Pandemic #3: Vivek Shraya appeared first on Man Repeller.

My 4 Favorite Types of Spam, Examined

I’ve always had a soft spot for Spam Emails.

Maybe it’s because I have, at best, only a vague understanding of how computer viruses work. (Apologies again to all of my previous employers, I swear I didn’t know downloading files from a site called Very.Legal.Bootleg.Movies.com would cause any problems.)

But also because, in a way, Spam Emails are a symbol of optimism. Despite the fact that so few people actually open them, scrappy little online criminals continue to send them out daily, hopeful that at any moment, an unsuspecting person will click the link and send over all of their personal banking information. (I’m not saying they’re good people—just that they’re optimistic.)

So, in the spirit of being a good samaritan who once (almost) took a webinar on email marketing, and something of a Spam scholar, I’ve decided to share my deep dive into my four favorite varieties of unsolicited Email.

The Instant Millionaire

Someone—typically a foreign dignitary—claims to have millions of dollars that they need to pass off to somebody else ASAP, and after finding you online (presumably through your long-forgotten Xanga entries and a 2009 newspaper article about your high school’s production of A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to the Forum), they’ve realized that you’re their only hope.

The scammer claims that they’ll transfer the money into your bank account for you to hold onto for a little bit, like some sort of financial version of the Baby-Sitters Club, and, in turn, you’ll get to keep a chunk of the money. But! When you send them your bank account information, they’ll just completely drain it instead—all $14 of it, in my case.

(My heart goes out to any real prince or princess in distress out there, who’s desperately trying and failing to find someone online to take their $11 million.)

Who would fall for it: This is one of the oldest scams online, so it’s tough to find anyone who isn’t aware of it. The Spammers should corner a market of people who are new to the internet—like time travelers who haven’t done their research, or people who just woke up from a coma they’ve been in since 1995.

How could this be improved? If they really want to fool people, the Spammers should better tailor their emails to each recipient. For example, nothing about me says that I should be trusted with their money, so it’s immediately clear that it’s fake. However, if they emailed saying they needed someone to send some overly complicated 90 Day Fiancé fan theories, then I’d be more likely to believe that I really am the best person for that.

Hot Singles In Your Area

This Spam Email promises that hot young singles in your area are looking for a good time—and they want to meet you! (Apparently all the hot young singles in my area are looking for someone with a strict 9:30 pm bedtime and a freezer full of Bagel Bites?)

Sometimes these Spam Emails get weirdly specific—like “Sexy_Hot_Chick_89 has sent you a message ;)” These ones are especially panic-inducing, because they make me wonder if, in some sort of fugue state, I made an account and messaged her that she has the same name as my Grandmother.

Who would fall for it: Men.

How could this be improved? Sexy_Hot_Chick_89 seems nice, but a little lost. While it’s sweet of her to keep asking strangers if they’re “looking to video chat with beautiful women in their area,” maybe she should take a step back and find herself through the 2020 version of Eat, Pray, Love (that’s when you Postmates a large pizza, do the first 10 minutes of a Yoga with Adrienne video and watch a full season of Love Is Blind in a day).

Magic Weight-Loss Pill

These Spam Emails claim that, through the power of science, they’ve created a pill that will make you lose 50 pounds in the span of two weeks, without any diet or exercise or annoying #Fitspo hashtags from your cousin’s new wellness Instagram account.

It’s embarrassing, but as a millennial woman who is easily influenced by society, I have Googled this, every day of my life, several thousand times over. (In fact, I’m searching it in another tab right now.)

Who would fall for it: Me, after I bought a size small bridesmaids dress thinking I could fit into it by the wedding, and now we’re three days out and it doesn’t even go over my head.

How could it be improved? It’s 2020 and the world is finally embracing body positivity, so maybe they should ditch the boring weight loss idea, and go with something more fun—like a pill that makes you understand what your 15-year-old cousin is talking about when asks you to film her doing a “Cottagecore Dance to a Charli D’Amelio Soundbite” for TikTok.

College Fundraising Committee

Your alma mater’s hitting you up for a donation, yet again. While it may not technically be a Spam Email, it does have a lot of things in common with them, like an overall tone of desperation, constantly requests for more money, and me deleting both of them right away.

Who would fall for it: Overly optimistic new graduates, rich retirees looking to get their name on a building, and very few people in between.

How could it be improved? If they’d promise to turn my super tiny liberal arts college’s American Studies degree into something useful—like economics or biochemistry (is that a thing?)—I’d send them $20 right away.

 

Graphic by Lorenza Centi.

The post My 4 Favorite Types of Spam, Examined appeared first on Man Repeller.

How to Write (or Not!) During a Pandemic #2: Shenequa A. Golding

Cutting well-done steak with a dull knife. Swimming in glue. Running on sand. These are the metaphors that come to mind when I try to describe the act of writing recently. There is no question that it’s an enormous privilege to have the time and space to do creative work at home right now, but it’s also a uniquely challenging moment in which to try and “take advantage” of that. Nearly six months into the pandemic, I’ve been eager to hear from writers about how they’ve been navigating the pressures and obstacles that result from such a dichotomy, and how current circumstances have impacted their writing process.

Today, I interviewed Shenequa A. Golding, who’s currently crafting the sample chapter for an in-progress book proposal and weighing the benefits of maple syrup entrepreneurship against the vicissitudes of the writer’s life.

How has your writing process changed since the pandemic?

Ever since Big Rona pulled up everything is different, but fortunately for me, it’s different in a good way. I underestimated how much mental space simply commuting to work actually took up. Now, I can wake up 30 minutes before a Zoom meeting, make my bed, brush my teeth, throw my locs in a bun, and “be on time” for work without being sleep deprived. I write more now than before, but that’s because I’ve got more side projects going on (all of which I’m thankful for). And due to quarantine I can focus on them.

This is going to sound crazy, but I’m a homebody. While a lot of people feel like they’re missing out on a free trip to Disneyland, ya girl is chillin! I have no desire to cross paths with Big Rona so I stay at home. I take early morning walks sometimes and that helps set the tone for a good day, but other than that I’m cool. I don’t need to go outside. As far as my attire, I haven’t consistently worn a bra in a few months and you know what? I feel like this is a small victory.

What they don’t tell you about writing is that the words come when they come.

In March, a tweet went viral about how Shakespeare wrote King Lear when he was quarantined with the plague. Have you felt more pressure than usual to write/create during this time of isolation? (If yes, how has that manifested? If no, how have you avoided falling into the insidious trap of hustle culture?)

Well listen, William and his King Lear can go kick rocks! What they don’t tell you about writing is that the words come when they come. It doesn’t matter how disciplined you are, the real words, the words that light the page on fire, they show up when they’re good and damn well ready, at least for me they do. There are times when I sit at a blank Google doc and the blinking cursor is just staring at me. Then there are other times when I can write 1200 words without breaking a sweat.

What partially drew me to this occupation was the solitude. I’ve always been able to get more done alone than I can with groups, and since quarantine, yes, I’ve completed a lot, but not because I wanted to compete with Shakespeare—not all, bro.

Also in March, GQ staff writer Zach Baron wrote an essay entitled, “How Do You Write About People When You Can’t Be Near Them?” This question applies to his line of work quite literally since he writes a lot of profiles, but given that all writing–to some extent–stems from being out in the world and observing it closely, how and where have you been finding creative inspiration these days?

Inspiration is like, whatever to me. Yes, you need something or someone to ignite that creativity. I won’t dilute that, but if your writing is solely based on inspiration then I think that’s going to make things harder for you. Writing, I think, should be about storytelling and (personally) an unflinching curiosity. My creativity comes via conversations with brilliant folks, or reading books. I don’t really search for inspiration much. Instead, I try to turn question marks into periods. It doesn’t always work, but I try.

“My agent said it was a good first pass, which is code for ‘Yeah, no, this isn’t going to cut it,’ but that’s fine.”

What’s something you’ve written recently that you’re especially proud of (even if it’s just a sentence!)?

I have a literary agent now, which is bananagrams to even say, and I’m crafting my book proposal, which is a lot harder than I originally thought. Anyhoo, I’m putting together a sample chapter and my agent said it was a good first pass, which is code for “Yeah, no, this isn’t going to cut it,” but that’s fine. For me, being able to write about something that was so hurtful (and something that I’m still dealing with) was a huge part of my healing. So yes, it wasn’t great, but I’m proud of myself for even vomiting up those words.

What’s the best thing you’ve read recently?

Without a doubt, Brit Bennett’s The Vanishing Half. I want to fight Stella and I know she’s not a real person.

What advice would you give to young or aspiring writers who are trying to write something right now?

Don’t do it. People don’t read like they used to. They don’t value the written word as much. It’s all about pageviews, catchy headlines, and viral tweets. Being a writer is a lost art. Be smart. Go to law school. Go to med school. Drive a bus. Become a vet. Develop an app. Marry rich. Start a maple syrup conglomerate. Do something that’s lucrative. Being a writer is thankless, and there’s no real way to ensure that you’ll make it or make any real money doing it. Save yourself the hassle.

And if you believed any of what I just wrote, kick yourself. If you want to be a writer you can do it. All you have to do is… write. You got this!

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Open Thread: How Are Your Friendships Changing?

Throughout my adult life, I’ve spent many minutes that have amounted to many hours and maybe even days thinking about friendship–what it means, whether I’m good at it, how much of it I have compared to other people, and what I need to do (or not do) to obtain a more impressive amount.

This last pressure has always weighed the most heavily. Post-high school, I never really had a “crew”–the extensive friend network that lends itself to massive group chats and 20-person dinners. Instead I have what I’ll call “pods,” small groups of roughly 2-4 friends from different areas or phases of my life, each tucked into their own neat little orbit and only colliding on rare occasions like birthdays or weddings. Combining friend groups is hard. Making new, genuine friends as an adult is even harder–for me, at least. I used to consider this a big issue, one I spoke about to therapists and incorporated into New Year’s resolutions: Put yourself out there more! Ask someone out for coffee! Act now or doom your social circle to permanent smallness!

This particular anxiety–the one that says everyone is out there making new friends except me–hasn’t buzzed in my chest like a wasp in months.

It only recently occurred to me that this particular anxiety–the one that says everyone is out there making new friends and combining friends and being extroverted except me–hasn’t buzzed in my chest like a wasp in months. After the revelation hit, I started thinking about the future of friendship. I’ve been thinking about how it’s going to work over the next year, and what I want my relationship with it to be.

Friendship feels more important than ever, but in a completely different way. There’s still a sense of pressure, but one that is more internal-facing–one that asks me not what I’m doing to make more friends, but instead what I’m doing to serve the friends I already have. How can I make them feel seen and appreciated when I can’t actually see them in person right now? How can I give more and ask for less? Am I reaching out only when I need something, or when I think they might need something? Maybe “pressure” isn’t the right word, because that tends to have a negative connotation, and there is nothing negative-feeling about this desire. It feels more like a kind of yearning, born from the tender space between missing and wanting to be missed in return.

While making new friends will always be a worthy pursuit, re-investing some of that time and energy into the ones I already have and love is often even worthier.

I’m still learning how to get it right, this friendship thing, especially in such a strange and isolated time. But I’m grateful for the perspective–the proverbial kick in the pants reminding me that while making new friends will always be a worthy pursuit, re-investing some of that time and energy into the ones I already have and love is often even worthier. I’m also curious how other people are negotiating their respective relationships with the joys and pressures of friendship right now. Are you struggling to stay in touch with friends, or has it come easily? Have you made any new friends? If you felt like you needed to before, do you still feel that now? Have your friendships been enriched by communicating in quarantine or strained? How will the future of adult friendship and what we expect it to look and feel like will be impacted by this collective experience? Let’s discuss in the comments.

Feature photo via Fox Network.

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Shop Vintage With Me: From Pastel Mary Janes to Upcycled Dickies

I stumble across so many treasures on the internet while finding market for other stories. Here’s where I’ll share them with you, alternating weekly between vintage/second-hand and contemporary finds. Sign up here for our Shopping Newsletter, with eight additional finds every Friday.

Last week, while doing market for this story on styling crochet, I explored tons of vintage shops and sites and while doing so, bookmarked non-crochet items I loved and wanted to share. Right now, I have an attraction towards one-of-a-kind vintage patchwork jackets so you’ll see a grouping of five favorites I came across below. I also have been on the hunt for colorful Mary Jane shoes, and I happened to find deadstock ones in various colors.  In starting to think about transitional dressing, I’ve laid out jackets and Mary Janes plus other items that will be good for the chillier summer nights all the way through fall.

This week I found a slew of patchwork jackets to wear on chilly summer nights and continuing wearing right into fall. I’d love to wear this technicolor dream coat with shorts right now and stirrup leggings later on. I’m also eyeing this patchwork blazer, which is the right amount of fun and fancy—and this one, which is the perfect fall color palette.



















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Speaking of jackets, this incredible zebra-trim blazer doubles as a dress. I’d wear it buttoned as a dress to a nice dinner, or open with a little linen set underneath it. I love a dress that goes well with a pair of white sneakers or some dainty mules, and this one most definitely does.







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This darling ’80s cardigan sweater, embroidered with ribbons and pearls, would look even more darling with a detachable peter pan collar like this oversized one in vintage lace.










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Or! Wear the cardigan with this pink wool blouse with little rhinestone buttons underneath it. This 1930s blouse would also look quite amazing with loose-fitting trousers or vintage Dickies.







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Found you a pair of vintage Dickies! This upcycled pair is 30 bucks and has Allen Ginsberg quotes all over them.







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As someone who loves both crochet and vests, I found the perfect marriage of the two: this handmade vest with front lacing you can leave open or closed. And check out that square-knit back!







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I also found these pretty, colorful dresses made of deadstock material—they come in a range of sizes and in red, blue, or green. They say they’re meant for square dancing, which honestly makes me want to do just that….







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…in an adorable pair of Mary Janes. I’m eyeing the kelly green on pastel yellow ones. I love the contrast buckle. They come in medium or narrow fit because an ill-fitting shoe is not welcome here!










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Writers on Writing (And Not Writing) Right Now: Mary H.K. Choi

Cutting well-done steak with a dull knife. Swimming in glue. Running on sand. These are the metaphors that come to mind when I try to describe the act of writing recently. There is no question that it’s an enormous privilege to have the time and space to do creative work at home right now, but it’s also a uniquely challenging moment in which to try and “take advantage” of that. Nearly six months into the pandemic, I’ve been eager to hear from writers about how they’ve been navigating the pressures and obstacles that result from such a dichotomy, and how current circumstances have impacted their writing process. Here, in the first of three writers I interviewed, the amazing Mary H.K. Choi (author of Permanent Record and Emergency Contact and the upcoming Yolk) shares how she’s managing to continue creating meaningful things–insights that made me feel equal parts optimistic, humbled, and less alone. I hope they will do the same for you.

Mary is a writer living in Brooklyn, New York. Check out her Instagram here and her website here.

How has your writing process changed since the pandemic began?

I no longer write as if being chased by a pack of wild dogs. There used to be so much urgency. If I didn’t get my thoughts down, I was scared they’d evaporate and crop-dust someone else who’d get to claim them. It was always zero sum with me, or that scarcity mentality. A lot of that energy has dissipated. The truth is I’m in grief and that makes me prone to depressive waves so everything is going much slower.

I used to write everywhere. Cafés, cars, anywhere in my house. Draped on the sofa, propped by a weird arm, getting pins and needles in both haunches. Or else at the dinner table, making my partner crazy. Lately, I write at my dedicated desk because I’m inviting some intentionality to the practice mostly because it’s so hard to want to write. I purchased a proper laptop stand and a separate keyboard and mouse and admittedly it’s been good for morale that my neck and shoulders aren’t in constant agony.

Hustle culture isn’t the wave anymore. Not by a long shot.

The “getting dressed for work” thing has been going in waves. At the outset I was feeling feral and gremlin-ish but now I’m putting outfits together and conventional wisdom is prevailing because I do feel better.

Eating meals at meal-times has also been helpful. And taking the full break and not doom-scrolling alongside the chewing. I’ve been buying beautiful produce and marveling at how ludicrously delicious peaches and tomatoes are. It’s a good way to check into my body when I’m dissociative.

In March, a tweet went viral about how Shakespeare wrote King Lear when he was quarantined with the plague. Have you felt more pressure than usual to write and create during this time of isolation? 

Hustle culture isn’t the wave anymore. Not by a long shot. Now it’s discernment and shrewd allocation of resources and boundaries galore. Energy is finite. It’s a somatically real and depleting thing to keep one eye on the election and another little antenna honed on a literal global plague.

I wasn’t immune to the fantasy that I’d get really, really jacked. Or else learn a language or take a course on playwriting, but then June swung around with zero progress and I realized that so much of it had to do with making this pandemic “worth it.” But no matter how much I try to avoid how scary and sad and fucked up this situation is, I can’t.

Plus, I realized I was trying to “be good.” As if I can cut a deal with the universe, like, if I behave and act diligently and piously and do my work then surely, the pandemic will desist in a reasonable amount of time, like three months? That was just a bullet train to heartache and rage.

I’m learning to work without committing words to the page. Film is so instructive.

GQ staff writer Zach Baron wrote an essay entitled, “How Do You Write About People When You Can’t Be Near Them?” This question applies to his line of work quite literally since he writes a lot of profiles, but given that all writing–to some extent–stems from being out in the world and observing it closely, how and where have you been finding creative inspiration these days?

Reading has been such a tonic. I’m grateful to borrow books from the library through the Libby app. Initially I was so mad at not being able to go to the physical library that I stubbornly refused to borrow e-books but I got over it. My TBR pile is so robust right now, and I love catching up on all the books I’d intended to read but missed the boat on. When I’m stuck on writing I read. I steal things. Check for grammatical quirks or transitions that I admire.

I’m also watching a ton of movies. Like, Takeshi Kitano’s mob series, Portrait of a Lady on Fire, The Last Picture Show, Badlands, Barry Lyndon. I’m learning to work without committing words to the page. Film is so instructive for proxemics and micro-expressions and the tension between what people are saying and what they’re doing.

Talking to good friends consistently has also been fruitful. My characters tend to become neurotic in a one-note way the more I isolate. It’s not as surreptitiously delightful as things you overhear or observe on mass transit, but going for walks around New York will always inspire me.

What’s something you’ve written recently that you’re especially proud of (even if it’s just a sentence!)?

Well, I finished my third novel Yolk (available now for pre-order ahem), which was surreal since it’s all about illness and death and asking for help. I had to take week-long breaks in between edits because it was brutal and uncomfortable to sit inside of, but I’m proud of what came out of it.

Some things I only get one good hour a day on. Others I need to write long-hand because word docs or final drafts feel too stultifying or scary.

I also wrote an essay about Korean author and performance artist, Theresa Hak Kyung Cha, for Doris Ho Kane and the 17.21 book that she’s doing about Asian women iconoclasts. I got so imposter syndrome-y and anxious because I don’t feel as though I’m a high-brow enough critic or essayist, but Doris seemed pumped with what I filed so I’m thrilled.

What’s the best thing you’ve read recently?

Holy shit. Convenience Store Woman by Sayaka Murata was great. I was so sad when it ended. It was one of those where you’re just stuck on what to follow it up with because the mood is so specific.

What advice would you give to young or aspiring writers who are trying to write something right now?

Let go or get dragged. It’s healthy and realistic to have a consistent practice but I’ve also learned that every piece of work has its own particular rhythms that you’d do well to honor. I’ve wasted a lot of time setting agendas that the writing is largely indifferent to. Some things I only get one good hour a day on. Others I need to write long-hand because word docs or final drafts feel too stultifying or scary. Nothing is a value judgment or an indictment against your skills or progress. Creative works just have their own particular personalities. Plus, my circumstances and influences change along the way as well. I don’t know about you, but this is my first pandemic.

The other thing that I hate doing but am learning to lean on and value is asking for extensions. I ask as early as possible out of respect for everyone’s time because doing a weird, mincing dance when I know in my heart I’m going to blow the deadline is a disservice to everyone.

Also, I’m a big believer in the vomit draft. The first version won’t be good. You’re not as good as the You you’ll become once you’ve written the thing. The better You will do the edits and that’s how it works.

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