Leandra Medine's Blog, page 631

MR Writers Club Prompt: First Kiss

I remember mine like it was yesterday. Partially because it kind of was but also because it was so awkward that for as long as my memory cells continue to flourish, so will the legacy of kissing a guy whose nickname was Crusty the Snowman.

I’ll break it down briefly to spare your time. I’m 16 years old — practically geriatric by the standards of the thresholds that define teenagehood — and I’m at a nightclub in New York City dedicated for teenagers called Cream. Yes, Cream. My best friends are with me and wearing little black dresses and tall suede boots. I am in a pair of flat, embellished pointed toe shoes and a black cotton boat neck. My jeans are flared but not in the cool vintage 501 way.

So there I am, minding my own business, sitting on the kind of banquet couch you might expect to see at The Eternal Bachelor Pad (not a real place, just a state of mind) when a boy, who I am distantly familiar with but who I have never actually had a conversation with, walks up to me. He sits down. I wonder if he is sitting because his legs are tired or because he finds my boatneck irresistible. He says hi (read: sneezes), I say hi (read: HEY!!!) and before you know it, there we are, treating our respective tongues like slugs within each other’s mouths. It took the subsequent eight months of abstinence and the eventual break of this dry spell to learn that kissing does not equal mere sedentary tongue relocation.

When asked how he developed the nickname “Crusty the Snowman,” I learned his naval squad (seamen/semen joke) was a consistency that was unlike most others’ squads in that it was…crunchy.

So, yes, you read that right: first kiss at a club called Cream with a guy called Crusty. If this sounds new to you, or something like a story you’d really like to hear further expounded upon, may I suggest you buy my book?

If you’ve already lost interest, just answer me this: do you remember your first kiss? Share the glory tale in ~500 words. Submit that baby by next Thursday, June 25 at 12 p.m. EST to write@manrepeller.com and as you write, remember this: your first kiss does not define you. It just makes for a kick@$$ story.

Photo via Titanic, Feed Photo by Victor Jorgensen via Wikipedia

Want more “love” stories? Read about the biz duo  and married couple behind Tibi. That’s a genuine love story. And chances are you won’t find  your match (or have too many friends?) if you’re a party ghoster. But Ask a Guy, maybe he can help you out. On that note, maybe just continue your etiquette education and double check that you don’t suck at emails. 

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The Gap is Closing 175 Stores in North America

If you were born on the Upper West Side to parents who believed that Abercrombie was a luxury brand, chances are good that you shopped at the Gap.

In dressing rooms on 84th street, you evaluated graphic t-shirts and rhinestone embellishments and whether “Heaven” — a very exclusive fragrance — smelled like adulthood. At checkout, you wondered if a dozen purchases could make you cool. And as soon as you got home, you called your best friend because you needed to know: had she gotten that navy baseball jersey — the one with the white sleeves, too?

Later, you might have done as I did, spending what felt like a small fortune at the Gap on a pale blue bra. After that, you would wander in and out of those familiar grounds in search of pajamas or a jean jacket or a real pair of black trousers for a grownup job. By the time you started college, you would pass it on your way to class and wonder whether you should even bother. The reliable air conditioning was good.

But like you, probably, I grew up and out of the Gap. We all did.

Gap announced earlier this week that it would close a quarter of its doors in North America, cutting both salespeople and executives from the workforce. The New York Times reported that the chain will shutter 175 stores over the next few years. For CEO Art Peck, the conclusion will allow decision makers “to restore the brand and get it back on track.”

The Gap has faltered since it pioneered the practice of normal clothes for normal humans. It changed its strategy and its logos. When it changed the font on its iconic sweatshirts, we mutinied.

As New York Magazine stresses, the middle market — not quite T.J. Maxx, not yet Chanel — is not the moneymaker it used to be. For all of us in this decade, “the middle” is more than unattractive. It’s an anathema.

Brands — and chain stores, in particular — take for granted that what we want is an accessible aesthetic. By the very nature of them, mass production assumes that we still dress the way we did in elementary school. But most of us are no longer so desperate to fit in.  We want to look like ourselves, which makes it hard to embrace the Gap or Ann Taylor or even Marc Jacobs. We are loyal only to one brand: that thing we created for ourselves.

So, what is the future of fast fashion? Will it all go the way of Uniqlo, championing nameless separates over dated silhouettes? Will it follow in the footsteps of H&M, fulfilling every sartorial need at minimal costs? Or, are we on the brink of a new couture? As we continue to assert our uniqueness on every channel and platform and medium that is available to us, how will the fashion complex catch up?

I love your sweater; let’s talk about it.

What about the death of denim? Or the e-book? For more thoughts on the evolution of fashion, check out the evolution of trends, featuring the choker. Or, go take your wallet for a spin and shop ’til ya drop with the help from Leandra and watermelons!

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Leandra’s Shopping Cart is a Watermelon Landfill

You know the drills.

All of them.

We’re members of a consumerist league called Man Repeller. We operate similarly to Little League in that sometimes our parents drop us off and frequently, we demand ice cream after particularly taxing experiences. We’re unlike most consumers, though, because none of us are required to buy anything to have earned that title. Instead, we rely on the marvel that is social proprietorship and shopping cart syndrome to provide the cathartic release that is making our exquisite and respective senses of personal style public without spending money.

Two weeks ago, you met Esther’s shopping cart.

Last week Amelia tricked you into thinking she’s got clothes in her shopping carts-around-town when in reality, she just wants to buy a big ass barn, replete with horse and man in New England-red pants. Today, though, here we are, inside my cart, where the watermelons flow like Beyoncé songs in a Soul Cycle locker room.

I like to think that you can tell a great deal more about a woman’s style based on what she wants to buy relative to what she actually sets out to buy. The former tends to feel like a much more in-depth analysis of her dreams, don’t you think? I’m not entirely sure I would get great use from the Lisa Marie Fernandez beach cape in my cart, but I know I wish I was the kind of woman who spent enough time in a bathing suit to call it a wardrobe staple. I’d probably wear it with gingham t-straps, because that’s the kind of woman I one day aspire to be.

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And that sunny-side-up egg-cum-polo? If I played more tennis, there is no way I wouldn’t get one. To wear with the white denim button down skirt which, full disclosure, I am minutes away from hitting buy on. Those kitten heels, too.

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That Aurelie Bidermann bracelet reinforces an OCD tendency I maintain to have things in multiples (I’ve already got two), I’d rather wear the Zimmermann bathing suit as a top (and thus I must wonder what’s happening to the shape of clothes I have heretofore identified as “me,” and as for those watermelons, I’ll just say this: when it comes to how we festoon the outward perceptions of our identities, frivolity shits on utility.

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Confused? Why not take this quiz to figure out what kind of shopper you are.

Shopping for a bikini? A one-piece? A bikini with bottoms that go so high up that it looks like a one-piece? We got you covered. And if you’re waiting for a sample sale before you take the paycheck-plunge, we’re here to help you survive the experience. May the force be with you.

The post Leandra’s Shopping Cart is a Watermelon Landfill appeared first on Man Repeller.

Etiquette Question: Ghost-Goodbyes

There are two kinds of people in this world: the ones who can greet and the ones who can’t. From the group of those who can’t, two finite groups determine an otherwise unwieldy handicap — those who hate to say hi and those who hate to say bye. On those who can’t say hi (Amelia): I get it, stopping in your track to greet people that you really, very truly enjoy to see can feel taxing! Almost as difficult as being self-professedly lazy, you know? And for those who have a problem with bye? Frankly, I think we’re just polite.

Consider the scenario: it’s 10 o’clock and your friend’s birthday. She has insisted on a Sunday night party because as a freelance nail clipper, her Monday mornings are fairly flexible. She has constructed a makeshift dance floor over a banquet bar and is jumping like a professional pogo stick player. If such players exist. You have to get home because tomorrow morning cometh with the wrath of an annoying and often irrational boss. Your friend has expressed frustration on the number of occasions you have skipped out of events without saying goodbye — even noting a wedding as one such event, when everyone knows you are not required to bid farewell to the bride and groom. But there she is! Taking shots and bopping along! You don’t want to place an unnecessary punctation mark on her bliss by saying bye so what do you do?

Consider these as your options:

A) Suck it up, say good bye, watch her deflate and feel bad about it.

B) Disregard her distaste for leaving-sans-bye and hightail it the F out?

I’m going with B — and do you know why? Because people should only remember you as the life of the party, never the death. We live in 2015, where the text messages travel faster than comets through space and communication isn’t a choice, it is a function of existence. So you text, or call, or Kik, or whatever after the fact and say sorry, but when push comes to ghost, what’s so bad about leaving when you want to leave without the annoying bells and whistles?

…Right?

Maybe I’m an asshole. That’s why you’re my friends. Tell me about your policies on ghosting.

Need more advice? Ask a Guy, why don’t you! Or you could refer to this beautiful couple for some love-spiration. Need a relief? Shop the pain away! Or drink it away with some wine courtesy of our Summer Wine Guide! I wouldn’t decline a margarita, either. 

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The Thought Process of Packing for a Weekend Away

I’m going to my mom’s in Southampton tonight. I’m taking a Jitney to get there which means I’ll want to pack light because I’ll probably want to walk to the stop, which also means I can’t take the box of container tea on my kitchen counter because it’s brown and muddy and seems like an unlikely pairing for a bag full of white stuff.

Do I have plans for the weekend? LOL.

Will I leave the house? Maybe. Once. On Saturday morning, likely to buy basil because I know my mom won’t tell me that she hates my guacamole, which is more of an Italian e-guaque-molé than anything else. What does one wear to go to the supermarket, you wonder? Black tie casual, of course. Assume that on Saturday I’ll want to wear nothing but a bathing suit and button down shirt over it. I left a good striped linen one from J.Crew behind last weekend. No need to re-pack that. And then I’ll take that lilac Lisa Marie Fernandez one-piece with me. Maybe the combo will make for another opportunity for the Instagram community to tell me I look pregnant. You know what, I’ll re-do last weekend. No need to bring anything new. I’ll wear the silver Ancient Greek Sandal-Scholl’s again and call it a look.

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So what am I doing Friday night? Probably dinner at home + my parents’ friends. Do we have anyone over? UPS hasn’t delivered a thing in months — I haven’t seen Cool Dad Keith in a while. I wonder what he does on weekends. It’ll probably be a bit chilly. Maybe the green Vilshenko culottes I wore to work on Wednesday with a white button down shirt. Or those Isabel Marant khakis with a silk tank top so that I can wear a whole bunch of necklaces and a utility jacket. But do I really need a jacket? I’ll just take a sweater. Maybe that new ivory one from Ayr. I’ll wear one of my dad’s sweaters. That’s settled, okay.

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And it’ll look great with white jeans. I think I left a pair there. Okay. No culottes, no button down, no khakis, no necklace. Easy.

Oh! But what about that red linen midi skirt? Nah. Not modern orthodox day school teacher doesn’t feel like role playing this weekend. And shoes? The Scholl’s should do it.

Okay — back to Saturday. What did I do with that Lisa Marie Fernandez poncho that I found on The Outnet last February? What a cool alternative to towels. I’m just gonna pack a couple sarongs too. To wear in my hair? Around my waist? To choke myself with? These should fit in a handbag.

And then what happens Saturday night? Dinner? At home? Out? If we do in fact head out, I should just take and wear that turquoise mini dress from The Reformation. That’ll pair nicely with those suede Gianvito Rossi sandals. Is suede a weird fabric for over there? Maybe clogs are better suited for Saturday night. But do I want to wear clogs either? Something about the dress that–why am I getting so anxious about dressing for the weekend? Maybe I keep thinking of loafers and white jeans and looking like Amelia and that’s not me. Thank heavs! I’ve never even tried a lobster roll. Keep it real, Leandra. Think leather jacket. Oh, oh! How abouuuuut: white jeans again? With a plain white t-shirt? AND A GARDEN GROWN FLOWER IN MY HAIR?

Look at that, I don’t even need to pack a bag.

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Background Photo via Louis Vuitton

For more Thought Processes, clicky here. We’re also thinking a lot about wine, specifically rosé. If this makes you summer-ready (because it’s not yet June 21st!), check out our Swimstagram Swimsuit Guide. If the weather’s got you low, you could also dress like Leandra on a rainy-a$$ Tuesday morning.

The post The Thought Process of Packing for a Weekend Away appeared first on Man Repeller.

You Get a Trophy, and YOU Get a Trophy

It’s time for the second annual-in-the-same-year Man Repeller Commenter Awards! We host these for two reasons: 1) to feel like Oprah, and 2) because you guys are hilarious. Without you, posts would drop off like cartoon cliffs and everyone’s thoughts would die. With you, however, the conversation carries on. Viva la Internet friends! Now grab your digital BFF and let’s hand out some trophies!

Best Thing to Say in a Moment of Awkward Silence: 

Blakey Bessire on “Flats Are the Short Girl’s Middle Finger”

“Clogs are the shoe mullet. Am I high, am I low, can’t figure me out…. bingo, air of mystery.”

The academy also thought it important to note Blakey’s Disqus picture, which features 2-and-a-cropped happy sloths.

Best Tag-Team Convo-Duo:

Kelsey Moody and Marianne Ronsse  on A Wedding Speech How-To

Kelsey: As one of three girls, we’ve decided on having 2 maids of honors so no one gets left out. At my sister’s wedding, I had to follow my other sister’s speech. She is a professional writer, has her MFA from the New School in Creative Writing and Poetry, so it was a TUUUFFFFF act to follow, since she left everyone in tears. I had a few bullet points as guidelines, zero alcohol in my system (this is KEY for a solid speech), and kept the jokes broad and multi-generationally appropriate…..then, on the d floor, I made besties with the band’s horn section. Success, mic dropped.

Marianne: If you make friends with the band prior to your speech, you can ask them to accentuate every one of your punchlines with the kettledrums.

Best Gif in the History of Ever, plus Caption That Elicits a Global, “Same.”:

Mia Lardiere on Fear of Being Cliché.

“Aiming for nonchalance of this caliber.”

Nicest Compliment That Could Also Possibly Be an App (Shazaam for Eyebrows?):

BK on When You’re a Size 2 But Need Shorts

“Katie where’d you get your eyebrows I need them.”

Best Use of Lyric, Humor and Missy Elliott for An Intense But Important Conversation:

Quinn Halman on Why It’s Great That Amy Schumer Named Her Weight

“I’ve got a cute face

Chubby waist

Thick legs in shape

Rump shaking both ways

Make you do a double take

Planet Rocka show stopper

Flo froppa head knocker

Beat stalla tail dropper

Do my thang motherfuckers”

– M(issy)e(lliott)

Deepest Connection with a Post:

Andrea Raymer on Mickey Boardman’s Fridge

“I feel such kinship with him. The cereal, the grilled cheese, the royalty plates. This is me.”

Best Read Out of Context:

CJKeys2 on Ask a Guy: “I’ve Never Had a Boyfriend”

“Well you haven’t peed on my floor.”

Best Comments Section for Your Pinterest Board:

10 Illustrators to Know, because now there are like, 100 illustrators thanks to you guys, including commenter Anita Stevens Rundles who did the below:

Solid Dadvice  courtesy of  SChase on this week’s Writers Club Prompt

“If you can learn to keep yourself out of trouble, you can keep yourself out of trouble.”

Most Inspiring Conversation Among ALL The Commenters:

Why It’s Great That Amy Schumer Named Her Weight

(Seriously, it’s comment sections like these that make us proud to be a part of this sisterhood.)

Overall Winner With a Comment So Good We Threw Confetti in the Air:

Kelly O on How to Fake Cool

“Step 1: Dress like a Ramone

Step 2: Done”

Check out our premier commenter awards here. We got some of our best comments on our Why It’s Great That Amy Schumer Named Her Weight post, but we still want to hear from you! From commenters to contributors, check out some of our illustrators (and more!) here. Notice Kanye up top? Just reminding you that he has reproduced a second time. 

The post You Get a Trophy, and YOU Get a Trophy appeared first on Man Repeller.

It’s Kind of a Funny Story: Tibi’s Amy and Frank Smilovic

Leandra Medine: How did you two meet?

Amy Smilovic: We were set up to play tennis together in Maui on a business trip when we both worked for American Express. I didn’t know him. I had just moved from the South. I was in transit to New York with all of this luggage and my roommate had set me up with this guy –I didn’t want to go but she explained to me that I needed to network — he was the CFO of Amex. So the guy was playing tennis with Frank [Smilovic] and we ended up playing doubles. Frank was wearing a hat — he still has it — and he had a name that I could not pronounce. When we were done playing tennis, there was a party, and I was looking for Frank with the funny last name and the hat.

When we got back to New York, it turned out that Frank had the corner office on my floor. It was crazy that we were in such close proximity. I didn’t see him for a month but I ran into him in the hallway, I gave him a full body hug — I’m from the South! — but Frank is not from the South, he grew up in communist Europe, so he was like, “She’s really into me.”

Frank Smilovic: It was nice to see you! I don’t know how much we were into each other.

AS: So Frank said, “Let’s get a bite.” I thought he meant the cafeteria, but he meant Gotham Bar and Grill.

LM: Corner Office move.

AS: We planned to meet on a Friday, but earlier that week, he called up and said, “Do you mind if we don’t wait until Friday night, I’ve had a crappy day. Do you want to go get a drink?” So we went to the Mark Hotel and we stayed there for a while, and kept the date for Friday night. I had a date for Saturday and I cancelled that date and we went out again that Saturday and went to Barney Greengrass on Sunday.

LM: Frank, What brought you to New York?

FS: I actually started in Phoenix, Arizona.

AS: But his family escaped from the Czech Republic when he was 17.

FS: We settled in Phoenix because my father’s sister lived there and they were able to help us — none of us spoke English. I went to school at Arizona State University and after I finished, I wanted to become a professional tennis player, but I wound up working for Amex.

LM: That seems like a funny jump, but I guess that’s what the American Dream used to be. My dad is from Turkey and he came here in the early 80s and my grandfather told him, “I hear there’s a lot of money in gold jewelry, why don’t you start that business?” So my dad did.

FS: It’s funny because I would’ve studied medicine had I stayed in Czechoslovakia, but I came here and said, “I don’t know what to do,” and I think it was my aunt who said, “Why don’t you study accounting?” I hated it but I pushed through it. I started at Amex and it was because of tennis that I fortunately met some really interesting people who were at key positions there. I told one of the executives after a match that I wasn’t married to Phoenix, that I’d actually like to work overseas. And he asked, “Can you be in Paris on Saturday to start working on Monday?” I spent pretty much the rest of my career there working overseas in Europe and Asia.

I lived in Germany, the UK, Malaysia, Singapore, and Hong Kong. Which is where we started Tibi. We got married in 1996–

AS: Frank came home one day and was like, “How do you feel about moving to Hong Kong?” I was like, “I don’t want to live in Japan!” Frank was like, “Your ass is going to Hong Kong, for you to say that, and be that ignorant about the world, you’re going.”

I decided that when we went over there, I’d start a clothing company. That’s what I did. Within three days of landing, I had one.

LM: Were you married at this point?

AS: Yes. We got married the summer before we left, which was a story too. All of a sudden, nobody knew we were dating and then they were getting invites to a wedding — and we had been dating for three years.

FS: It was actually nice that everyone who was invited came. How did we tell everyone? I don’t remember how that happened.

AS: I remember going in and telling my boss, “But he’s international and I’m domestic.”

So we moved to Hong Kong and I started Tibi right away.

FS: I had nothing to do with it at that point.

AS: Yeah. In 1999, I got pregnant with our first son and we decided we wanted to move back to the U.S. At the time, Frank was working at Gateway and moving wasn’t an option, so Frank ditched everything and joined me at Tibi.

FS: By then, I did so much traveling and you have to make a decision: “Where are your roots?” We had a place on Crosby street that we had put a deposit down on the year before we decided to come back, it was going to be our showroom. It was about 3,500 square feet, so the decision was relatively easy.

Tibi was still pretty tiny. There were six employees working out of our apartment. It was an artisan residence so we were living there but also working. I got involved and it seemed like fun, not that I understood fashion. But from a business point it was pretty simple compared to what I was doing before.

LM: How did you operate from Hong Kong, did you travel frequently?

AS: My last year in Hong Kong, I traveled 11 times to the U.S.

LM: How were you even able to get pregnant!?

AS: I said, “Frank, it’s time!”

FS: There was nothing romantic about it.

AS: I said, “It’s going to happen at 7 o’ clock on a Sunday.” In December I was like, “Do I have a weird stomach ache?” I took a pregnancy test on the morning we were traveling to the U.S. and it came out negative.

By the time we landed I had eaten three sausage egg and cheese sandwiches at the San Diego airport. They were just so delicious. Later, at parent’s house, I felt so sick. I went to get another pregnancy test and he was changing a lightbulb for his mom and I said, “Are you ready?” and Frank was like, “‘I’m changing a lightbulb,” and I was like, “I’m pregnant!” And Frank was like, “I’m changing a lightbulb.”

You were screwing in the lightbulb so slowly. He was in his 40s, never married, he’d waited all this time. Our second son happened pretty much the same way.

LM: That must make a man feel terrific. How do you feel like your parenting mentality is different?

AS: My parents were such free spirits. My dad was an artist. We grew up on an island, we had a Jeep, we would go shrimp catching. So I always tell Frank, “If you lose everything, what’s the worst that could happen?” You just go and live on an island and catch your own shrimp. As long as you have this great family and you’re healthy, what else matters? And I think for Frank, his worst-case scenario is: Your whole family is in one bedroom, in Vienna, it’s freezing cold and everyone is hungry. So we have very different visions about what a worst-case scenario is.

FS: And I think that’s probably why were were attracted to each other.

LM:I feel that way with my husband where it’s just like: I’m so proud of myself to be able to identify something in you that I wish I had in myself, that I know I cannot have myself. But that can become a part of myself because it’s a part of him.

Even in terms of the immigrant, non-immigrant thing — my husband is a Syrian Jew — but the Syrian Jews have been here for generations. His mentality is much more, “What’s the worst that could happen?” Whereas my mentality, as a product of an immigrant mother who engrained it in my head that my passport is the most important thing I own, is much more: eventually we will have to pick up and leave.

FS: You know, you can debate this within yourself: which is better? And I’ve really come to the conclusion that there are so many ways to solve problems and approach things in life. The more ways you learn that, the much better off you are because certain situations require certain skills and knowledge.

LM: Can we talk a little bit about the business? It’s very challenging for a couple to work together. Probably one of the reasons you work together so well is because you met under the pretense that you were working together, right?

AS: I do think that’s huge. So many friends of ours are like, “I could never work with my wife.”

FS: We really do compliment each other. My mind works so differently than Amy’s.

AS: I always say, if you’re going to have someone from the South start a business, make sure that the business partner is an Eastern European communist. Frank does not trust anyone.

FS: I wasn’t a communist, by the way.

LM: Frank, are you involved at all in the creative?

FS: No, but I tend to be very direct in my life. Amy once in a while is so excited about what she designs and she’ll come in here and ask what I think–

AS: I don’t know why I do that.

LM: Do you ever change a style according to his opinion? Or kind of become convinced that it isn’t going to sell?

FS: Amy would never listen to me! That’s the bottom line. But I do make comments about our runway music sometimes. I’ve gotten pissed off a couple of times because it didn’t sound right to me.

LM: I find it very impressive. The company — specifically in the passed 5 years — has grown so tremendously, and that’s of course because of the two of you. There has to be some sort of formula or method that you’ve come up with.

FS: I think the interesting thing is, I have definitely brought value to this business because I’ve run other big businesses with so many people, and it’s been a great experience having worked with Amex. So the principles of doing business — especially in this business — are very critical. If you don’t understand cash flow, or where it’s coming from… I have to say, Amy is a great business woman on top of a designer.

Sometimes she hates it — that I bring her into, you know, “So and so is 60 days late and hasn’t paid.” But I do it because we’re partners. And I’m replaceable, she’s not. I tell this to potential investors: you can replace me with someone who understands the business, but Amy knows plenty about how businesses work. She can do it all, but her makeup is in design.

LM: I think it takes a lot of humility to know and say what you’re good at and what you’re not. Are you able to separate work from life?

FS: I think that we have a formula. We definitely talk about business on the way to work if we’re driving. We can’t talk on the train; people kind of get angry. But at home we try to pretend that curtain has come up and it’s a different sh0w — kids.

AS: The hard thing is that Frank is a night person and I’m a morning person. So every now and then I’ll really be enjoying a movie and Frank, thinking he’s making casual conversation will be like, “I thought you said the margins on this grid were in the sixties, but it looks like….” And I’m just like, Are you kidding me? Don’t talk to me about gross margins at 11 o’ clock at night! Then right when we wake up I’ll say, “Babe, I think the margins are 55…” And he’s like, “Let me wake up!”

FS: But it works. We have battles, though. It’s not as much about strategy, or where the business needs to go, because I defer to Amy for that. She understands the fashion industry and it’s in her DNA. It’s more about how we get there or how we deal with people.

AS: What you’ll find is that there’s that whole group that got you to phase 1, and phase 2 requires a whole new skill set. When you’re first starting out, the first skill set we look for is undying loyalty. The willingness to do everything. Now it’s like, I don’t need you to do everything. I just need you to do these three things and do them great. Frank — when he came in — said, “Amy, you have so many well-intentioned amateurs working here.”

FS: This industry is funny. I don’t think it produces enough well-trained people. People come in to it because of the creative side and some people know retail and some people don’t. Some people know how to write out a well thought-out note, some don’t. It’s different in the financial industry. It’s not some sort of pie in the sky. It either makes money or not. You can always be reaching into your own pocket and putting in more, but you don’t want to do that.

AS: No one can ever divide us. It’s kind of like if you have a sister or brother, you can bash them to your friends but your friends can never be like, “Yeah, your sister is…” People know that there’s a fine line, and nobody can ever talk to me and say, “We need to do something about Frank.”

LM: Are there any secrets to making this work? I find it very impressive that you were able to build a business and a family together. Any advice you would give to either your own sons looking for love, or to couples embarking on businesses together?

FS: Personally, my expectations are not huge. We want to be successful, but having come from where I did — when I was little, going to the cellar and putting coal into the basket — I’ve done fantastic. So I guess the secret for me is that I’m very appreciative of what we’ve been able to do. To this day, I go into our garden and I work. I pull weeds…

LM: You compare yourself to yourself, not to others.

FS: Well said, I’ve never thought of it that way. I don’t try to imitate anyone. I’ve always done the opposite. Consciously or not. I deserve respect and I give respect, that’s what it’s about. I don’t know if Woody Allen is depreciative of himself really, but I am sometimes.

AS: Oh please. You’re so damn proud that you put a dish away, I put dishes away all the time.

FS: Are you going there now? Oh gosh.

AS: Both working hard is key. I think I would have a really hard time if I worked so hard and came home and he was sitting on the couch. I think we’re both too busy to have our minds wander.

LM: I’ve known Amy since I started Man Repeller and I never felt like she was the kind of woman who seemed oppressed by a man. It’s probably very helpful that you’re so respectful of her and her time, and if we want to have dinner she’s always around for dinner. There’s definitely celebration of who she is as an individual, and who you are.

AS: It’s funny because when I was in Hong Kong, I joined the Women’s Business Association and the meetings consisted of every woman using it as a therapeutic place to bitch about their husbands’ lack of concern for their businesses. I remember I couldn’t relate at all.

LM: Do you ever give advice to your sons about relationships?

FS: They’re too young. We’ve guided them when they had school friends and someone did something. We just told them, “Be yourself, be respectful and it’s best to defend yourself in the event that someone punches you, but other than that, walk away.” Don’t ever set yourself up as a doormat either. We try to give them the strength and confidence that they’re capable. Even with our 14-year-old I tell him, “You’re really smart, but you’re not a genius; you’re not that 1 percent and that’s fine because that’s the way you’ve been made. Work with what you’ve got. There’s plenty.”

LM: That’s a refugee mentality thing! My mom used to say, “You’re pretty, but you’re not the prettiest. Don’t rely on your looks.”

If you were giving relationship advice to someone looking for love, what would you tell them?

AS: I would tell them to make sure the person is your best friend. Make sure you know who you are, and even if you know who you are, make sure you know you can be someone else five or ten years from now. Your best friend travels with you through that journey, but someone else may not. I can’t even imagine who I was at 24. I had just moved from Georgia without a passport. So for us to have gone on this journey together, I feel like I’ve had so many different personalities on that ride. Make sure you’re with someone who’s comfortable to level with change.

FS: It all starts with something that Amy’s dad told me when — actually, I think it was at our rehearsal dinner. He said, “Frank, just remember, it’s a roller coaster.” When you think about it, it’s a great analogy because I don’t like roller coasters — I get sick — but that’s what life is, and you need someone to be next to you when you’re throwing up. But also, someone who will celebrate with you when there is reason to celebrate.

AS: Who do you want sitting next to you in that roller coaster?

Follow Tibi on Instagram, Twitter, and shop the line here. 

Check out more postmodern love here.  You could also view some Resort ’16 runway favorites, or reminisce about the best meal you ever had.  Want cool hair? It’s all in the pinky.

The post It’s Kind of a Funny Story: Tibi’s Amy and Frank Smilovic appeared first on Man Repeller.

The Stripes Are Rebelling

Resort is the New Big Season. That’s probably the most prevalent trend to emerge from this past month’s mega-push of designer collections, which filled up Style.com with just as much voice as Fall. February and September are bossy months in our industry, so if Resort is going to be heard, it needs to put both hands over its mouth, stand up on the room’s tallest chair, and shout.

HEY!

Turns out it shouted so loud that confetti fell out.

At Trademark, Chanel, Tome and Sonia Rykiel, the formerly-nautical stripe rebelled against old faithful — blue and white — and demanded to party just as much as the season’s florals or ginghams. In fact, one striped set from Karl Lagerfeld’s lineup partied so hard that the parallel lines more or less broke up. (See it in the slideshow? It looks like sprinkles.)

The sky-toned stripes at 10 Crosby only appeared to play it safe. Upon closer investigation you’ll see the static of a smashed-in television. (Rock stars can’t be trusted even when they claim to be on their “best behavior.”) Meanwhile, at Derek Lam, the multicolored mutiny stretched across a skirt for all to see.

Gucci blew a bubble chewed from a pack of Fruit Stripe Gum — #TBT.

Calvin Klein had to stay muted (it is Calvin, after all), bending the rules with subtlety after a series of black and white via a crush of yellow.

But it’s my prediction that the Striped Revolution has only just begun. They already started to shape-shift at Tory Burch — the tremors of an earthquake? — and at Altuzarra, instead of stripes, is was beaded chevrons inspired by pointy Ikat. Different than a stripe, yes. But polar opposite? Not quite.

Suppose you’ve made it this far and you’re into all the color, but not the pattern. You want to join the movement and get loud, but also bold.

Edun holds the solution in a shock of hot pink suits.

No stripes, but what a statement.

Now cup your hands over your mouth, find the tallest chair and shout. Leandra said this was going to be fun. She was right!

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Images from Style.com

Want more looks from the Resort ’16 Runway? Check out our top picks whilst sipping a glass of summer wine. You could also continue to work on faking cool. If you have a ton of things to do but are procrastinating, you should probably go binge-watch Season 3 of Orange Is the New Black and fantasize about what the inmates will wear once they’re released from Litchfield Penitentiary. See you in 13 hours!

10 Instagram Illustrators to Follow

Science has proven two things that — whether you believe in science or not (I don’t know your life, Phoebe Buffay) — should be taken immediately to heart. The first: brain breaks are imperative to your mental health. They improve productivity, creativity, and alleviate burnout. The second: smiling ups endorphins and makes you happier, even if you’d rather be stabbing your gums with sharp Doritos. No I will not be citing my sources here; try both then feel free to endorse the “PhD” I’ve recently added to my title on LinkedIn.

Science is also (probably) close to proving that smart phones are killing us and Instagram is turning humanity into filter-obsessed sociopaths. However, we will likely not be letting go of our phones anytime soon. What we can do is control who we follow so that IG becomes a portal not just for fashion, FOMO, puppy pics and back-stalking exes, but also a palm pilot that transports us into a world of pure imagination.

(Willy Wonka pro tip: chocolate does that too.)

Enter 10 great illustrators to follow on Instagram. And if you’re wondering, “Why illustrators?,” Derek Zoolander, it’s because a drawing cannot be falsely edited on Photoshop nor can it make you feel inferior about your lack of rustic table setting abilities.

Drawings — the ones by the above illustrators in particular — will simply make you smile while giving your brain a break. Two birds, one stone.

Click through the slideshow and acquaint yourself with the talents of KimballCreative, Cynthia Merhej, Maria-Ines Gul , Kate Worum, Abstract Sundays, Gabi Anderson, Habile Buston, Things Liz Wants, Travel Write Draw and Joana Avillez.

And then, in the comments below, tell us about your favorite illustrators to follow. We’ll consider it our midday meditation.

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There’s no chance you don’t already follow Donald Drawbertson, but have you seen our illustrated Orange Is the New Black character style fantasies? Or what about our Summer Wine Guide? Put those together and you could be a tipsy Netflix binge-watcher. If it’s been a rough week (it’s only Tuesday) and need some tequila in your life, we’ve also got bo$$ suggestions on margaritas.

How to Get Cool Hair Using Your Pinky

Cool, man.

It’s such a tricky word. It can mean almost anything. Including cold. Which is obviously very different from hot. Which can mean popular. Which is something we aim to achieve on an off-beat, personal level. Which might not make sense when you try to make sense of it, but like cool, can also mean whatever you want it to mean.

Today, let’s marry “cool” to “hair.” Cool hair is hard to explain if you’ve never seen it but my guess is that you have. Specifically, I might add, if you’ve ever subscribed to J. Crew’s catalogue. It’s the ‘do that defines the look as opposed to the other way around — the insouciantly-worn strands that look so natural, it’s impossible to believe they were anything more or less than an afterthought but which ultimately inform the entire attitude exuded in but one, succinct look.

We’ve touched upon turtleneck hair and considered baby-hairs. We’ve talked 60’s hair, awkward hair and through it all have wanted to convey only one viewpoint: that cool hair is what you make it. In the winter that might mean errant strands everywhere and low buns covered by scarves, but when the swelter starts and we’re almost-just-kidding-not-really half-naked, cool hair might seem more difficult to execute.

As such, we come bearing gifs to help build your summer topknot, low pony or down-do. Or all! The best part? It doesn’t matter if your hair is long or short or curly or straight, all that matters is, as hinted by the post’s title, that you have operating pinkies.

Watch and learn.

The top-knot:

For this look, you’re going to fasten hair at the crown of your head by twirling it into a ballet-style bun. Wrap loosely in an elastic band then with your pinky, pull strands from the area above your ears. Caught an extra strand that’s too long? Twist that baby back up into your bun.

The low-pony:

Here, you’ll want to secure a tight ponytail at the back of your head while leaving the front parted in the middle. Once you’ve tied your hair, pull apart the tail to tighten, then use your fingers to scruff-up the back of your head to create what I’ll call a crown-poof. Once that’s done, pull out your fancy-pants pinky and as if you were combing your hair behind your hair, pull strands out as demonstrated below:

The down-do:

This one is so easy it hurts. Just wear your hair down, parted either to the middle or the side. With either a stunt-hand or your own (depending on how lazy or proactive you are), pop that pinky out and in one fell swoop, have it travel from mid-forehead length to behind your ear, leaving pieces to meander in front of your ear.

Woah! I almost didn’t recognize you, Emma Hager. You look so…cool.

Featured Photo via Lula Magazine

Want more hair tips? Rita Ora’s hairstylist is weighing in on how to care for your curls. We also have a thing or two to say about hair-brushing. Bad hair day? You could also just stick your hair in a hat, that always works. I wonder if OITNB’s Piper Chapman would add a hat to the fantastic ensemble we concocted for her.