Etiquette Question: Ghost-Goodbyes

There are two kinds of people in this world: the ones who can greet and the ones who can’t. From the group of those who can’t, two finite groups determine an otherwise unwieldy handicap — those who hate to say hi and those who hate to say bye. On those who can’t say hi (Amelia): I get it, stopping in your track to greet people that you really, very truly enjoy to see can feel taxing! Almost as difficult as being self-professedly lazy, you know? And for those who have a problem with bye? Frankly, I think we’re just polite.

Consider the scenario: it’s 10 o’clock and your friend’s birthday. She has insisted on a Sunday night party because as a freelance nail clipper, her Monday mornings are fairly flexible. She has constructed a makeshift dance floor over a banquet bar and is jumping like a professional pogo stick player. If such players exist. You have to get home because tomorrow morning cometh with the wrath of an annoying and often irrational boss. Your friend has expressed frustration on the number of occasions you have skipped out of events without saying goodbye — even noting a wedding as one such event, when everyone knows you are not required to bid farewell to the bride and groom. But there she is! Taking shots and bopping along! You don’t want to place an unnecessary punctation mark on her bliss by saying bye so what do you do?

Consider these as your options:

A) Suck it up, say good bye, watch her deflate and feel bad about it.

B) Disregard her distaste for leaving-sans-bye and hightail it the F out?

I’m going with B — and do you know why? Because people should only remember you as the life of the party, never the death. We live in 2015, where the text messages travel faster than comets through space and communication isn’t a choice, it is a function of existence. So you text, or call, or Kik, or whatever after the fact and say sorry, but when push comes to ghost, what’s so bad about leaving when you want to leave without the annoying bells and whistles?

…Right?

Maybe I’m an asshole. That’s why you’re my friends. Tell me about your policies on ghosting.

Need more advice? Ask a Guy, why don’t you! Or you could refer to this beautiful couple for some love-spiration. Need a relief? Shop the pain away! Or drink it away with some wine courtesy of our Summer Wine Guide! I wouldn’t decline a margarita, either. 

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