Leandra Medine's Blog, page 623

The Dress-a-Day Challenge

When I was at university, I wore dresses every day. Cheap babydoll numbers from Primark or Topshop with the generic ankle boots that every other person sported at house parties. “I’m not a jeans person” was my go-to phrase.

And then post-college, it flipped. But why?

It’s hard to find original dresses that stand the test of time and more importantly, fit into a work environment. Beach dresses are a dime a dozen; I have a whole stack that work well when nestled against warm skin and a piña colada, but they don’t quite translate on The London Underground or next to the woman in the suit blocking the photocopier.

I knew there had to be a solution, so I set myself a twofold challenge: 1) wear a dress every day of the working week and 2) see if I still feel like “myself” while doing it — because how do you make a dress your own so that the second time it’s worn doesn’t feel like mere repetition?

For me, it’s about variable details: changing the shoes, the hair style and the belt. Pretty simple, but then, that’s the beauty — dresses are simple.

Monday

Mondays are for non-restricted waistlines. I’ve been through more denim pinafores in my lifetime than Leo has Victoria’s Secret angels. My current favorite is this ASOS one with a frayed hem.

Vintage blouse, ASOS pinafore, Converse sneakers, Theodora Warre earrings

Tuesday

As worn by Alexa to Topshop Unique’s SS15 show in February, this dress was destined to be a top seller, even if she hadn’t lent her gamine form to its mini proportions. I first wore it in my column for The Sunday Times Style and knew I had to have it — the florals are “non-naff*” and vintage-esque (surprisingly hard things to achieve in a dress unless it’s actually vintage or super expensive — though if you’re willing to shell out, Vilshenko and Saint Laurent do florals well.)

Topshop Unique dress, Uterqüe heels

Wednesday

That aforementioned stack of beach dresses includes a lot of white ones (Temperley London, Topshop, Juliet Dunn, Mango, Isabel Marant — list goes on) but not a damn one of them are suitable for any water cooler office moments. I found this Karen Millen one and I think it fills a real gap. Incidentally, if you are familiar with the brand, it’s done a massive turn-around recently. The re-branding has resulted in a much more expensive but infinitely cooler Karen Millen.

Karen Millen dress, Diesel belt, Sandro fringe bucket bag, Topshop sandals

Thursday

This dress makes me feel unfathomably like Kate Bosworth. And these shoes are my favorite; they look like Céline. I feel so empowered by this outfit that I look distinctly (and equally unfathomably) haughty. I’ll come back down to earth as soon as I take it all off. Promise.

​

Vintage denim dress, Uterqüe shoes and Hermès neck scarf

Friday

Friday’s child going off to a party! I’m biased because it’s my best friend’s label but these are the comfiest, sexiest dresses — fact. Adwoa Aboah, Clara Paget and Georgia Jagger are also fans. If you’re not into body-con (and I’m not, normally) then check out the crinkle-stretch swimwear (as worn by Julia Roberts in Pretty Woman).

Hunza G Dress and Saint Laurent shoes

Saturday

Cooling down on a Saturday. 6 dresses, 6 days, complete!

Claudie Pierlot jacket, vintage bandana scarf, slip dress and belt, Superga sneakers.

If the challenge taught me anything, it’s that you WILL flash your knickers at some point during the day. And that I am totally resolved to wearing more dresses.

*British slang vocab lesson: non-naff = not tacky or cheesy. Follow Pandora Sykes on Instagram and Twitter.

The post The Dress-a-Day Challenge appeared first on Man Repeller.

Happy Shoesday: The Best of What’s New and On Sale

How are your feet feeling? I wonder if you’ve asked them lately. Personally, I’ve been rather hard on mine:

“You’re dirty.”

“You need new toe-paint.”

“You’re swollen. (Why are you swollen?)”

Etc.

I’ve been walking on my feet for an entire summer and not once have I stopped to say thank you: thanks for not making me walk on my ankles, thanks for not cramping while I’m asleep anymore, thanks for getting me places so that my Uber bill goes down, etc.

But there’s no better time like the present to change my tune. After all, it’s Tuesday, which means it’s Shoesday — and is there any better way to show an appendage gratitude than with shoes?

[image error]
Turn on your JavaScript to view content

So join me, won’t you, in doing a bit of gracias-shopping. Peruse the best of what’s new this week and the best of what’s on sale (finally! after months of dreaming) so that we can salvage this relationship before your toes flip you the bird and you’re stuck playing hopscotch on your knees.

[image error]
Turn on your JavaScript to view content

And if you’re wondering why we don’t just send our feet flowers: hello, they’re allergic. Try saying g’bless you next time they sneeze.

The post Happy Shoesday: The Best of What’s New and On Sale appeared first on Man Repeller.

4 Great NYC Blowouts

Welcome to summer: it’s hot and humid and I’m literally always sweating. In the past, I’ve resigned myself to the appearance of a glistening, frizzy composer until mid-September, but this summer, I swore it would be different.

I’d get blowouts.

I tried three of the newest Manhattan hotspots, plus one rustic salon in Brooklyn for the Dan Humphrey effect. Below: the recaps for your own sweaty-headed salvation should you find yourself this side of the steamy city.

RPZL

RPZL is a blowout and extensions bar – you can walk in with a bob and out with, well, Rapunzel hair.

I showed up late. I was sweating. The staff was understanding and kind; they sat me immediately, offered a beverage (they had six choices of tea!), gave me a sparkly mini cupcake and an iPad with the hair style menu.

I decided on the “romantic” look and my stylist went to work. She’s an Aquarius.

When the blowout was done and my clip-in extensions were chosen, matched and styled into my hair, I felt like a princess. I had a breakdown of joy.

The salon provided extension instructions and extra hair in a silver tote bag. The hair is yours to keep! And RPZL offers free extension applications anytime you come back in for a blow-out.

I left feeling fly and ran into a college friend. All he said was, “Damn.”

TLDR: Convenient location (right off Union Square L), great service, awesome staff, phone chargers, I got “Damn’d.”

Blowout: $40 (tip not included)

Extensions: $250

Priv

I was sick of sweating en route to salons so I tried Priv: Seamless for blowouts.

Shavaughn arrived five minutes early, which for normal people is fine. But for people like me who are somehow late to appointments in their own bedrooms, I still needed to shower.

She was a good sport though; she bonded with my Dachshund, Lou. I considered asking her to style his hair but didn’t because what the hell do I ever think.

Then came the blowdry. Shavaughn laughed at my jokes and told me about the celebrities whose hair she’s done. I felt like a movie star, too.

Priv not only provides great service, but it’s an awesome app overall. It notifies you how far your stylist is and allows you to chat with him or her. It also provides a bio, reviews and a profile photo of your stylist, like LinkedIn but way more fun.

Tax and tip is included in the cost and customer service chat responds quicker than your best friend via iMessage.

And! They do lots more than just hair: manicures, pedicures, massages, haircuts, makeup, personal training, spray tans, you name it.

TLDR: Lots of options, great app, great service, stylist bonded with my dog.

Blowout: $50 (tax & tip included)

GlamSquad

I tried another blowout app a few days later: GlamSquad. And TeQuan gave me the best blow out I have ever gotten. I swear. Ever. (He’s also the same guy who fixed Amelia’s split ends.)

TeQuan was on time and super friendly. He’s a Capricorn and hair enthusiast.

Despite being in my room, my sweat levels were high, but he blew out my hair to perfection and provided a complimentary extension application.

He was quick, too, and within a few minutes I looked in the mirror – I almost cried. My once-sweaty head looked amazing.

Only downside: The app is a bit glitchy – it shuts down out of nowhere, but for this blowout, I forgive them.

TLDR: Great service, amazing blowout, pricey, but got an amazing Instagram photo out of it.

Blowout: $50 + 20% gratuity and tax

Foxy Salon

I walked into Foxy Salon in Brooklyn and — you guessed it – I was sweating. Then I accidentally drank water out of a mason jar with hair-dye on it. After I panicked about that, I sat down with Nora and discussed my hair.

A few minutes in, I realized something: I sweat too much. Long hair wasn’t helping.

So I bit the bullet and had Nora cut it all off.

Most of it. I am now the proud owner of a “lob” and it is exactly what I needed. Thank you, Nora.

If you’re not planning on going full bob-or-lob this summer, I got a blowout here with my extensions before the cut and it was great. The experience was fast, fun (yes fun!) and professional, plus it costs about the same as the other three places.

Foxy is a small, comfortable salon without the fluorescent lights that often haunt the bigger blow bars in Manhattan. If you’re looking a smaller, rustic, Williamsburg vibe, Foxy Salon’s the spot.

Plus, there’s a great juice bar across the street. I recommend their açaí bowls.

TLDR: Brooklyn, cute, small, rustic, beware of mason jars with hair dye

Blow Out: $50

Now share your favorite hair apps, blowdry spots (Manhattan or not) and photos of hairdos below. We’re all in this sweaty summer together — it’s best we stay informed.

Follow Danielle Sinay on Twitter

Photographed by Krista Anna Lewis

The post 4 Great NYC Blowouts appeared first on Man Repeller.

New York Closets: Cleo Davis-Urman

In a world where athleisure has become office-appropriate, overalls could be worn to a wedding and flips flops have been known to make an appearance at dinner dates, it is refreshing if not entirely comforting to meet someone whose idea of casual includes waistcoat and trousers — albeit floaty ones.

That’s Cleo Davis-Urman to a T. She’s the co-founder and director of creative relations at Tinker Tailor (a website that lets you customize dresses, skirts tops and jumpsuits), and if that 1971 hit “She’s a Lady” doesn’t miraculously play behind her at all times as she runs around this city, then I don’t even know what a sidewalk is for anymore.

But I do know what we’re here for: to enjoy her closet and maybe catch a case of Monday inspiration. Ladies first…

Monday:

On your mark, get set, go! I often hit the ground running on Mondays and today is no different. Back to back market appointments with brands are on the agenda, so a sporty yet stylish look is in order. This Vivienne Westwood skirt is one of my favorite pieces. It is one part Havisham, one part haute couture and entirely unique. Worn with my broken-in Adidas, favorite Wolford leggings and my Cara crop top t-shirt from Tinker Tailor, I am ready to take on whatever the day brings in my version of a uniform.

Crew Cuts crossbody bag, Dior sunglasses

Tuesday:

My role at Tinker Tailor requires me to attend board meetings with our investors once a month. In addition to our board meeting, today I am also meeting with a few brands, so I wanted to create a look that was as serious as it is stylish. Natasha Zinko’s modern take on the office-appropriate pencil skirt came to the rescue. I paired this with a somewhat conservative button up blouse from our collection, then put my signature stamp on the ensemble with polka dot pumps from Oscar de la Renta and my favorite bag from designer Bu Wood.

Dior sunglasses

Wednesday:

One of my favorite things about my job is getting to work on our own Tinker Tailor brand. Today I am off to our atelier located in the heart of the Garment District to see how our customer orders are progressing and to select new fabrics for our library. I’ve been reaching for this Alberta Ferretti fringe dress a lot recently. It’s easy to move around in, and when paired with my favorite Paul Andrew wedges, there is nothing I can’t do in this outfit.

Tinker Tailor “Jane” blouse, vintage neck scarf, Bu Wood bag

Thursday:

Today I am attending a trunk show and luncheon on the Upper East Side, so this is me dressing the part of a lady who lunches. This two-piece from Giles screams summer, and these floral pumps by Balenciaga perfectly punctuate the look.

Friday:

This is my interpretation of a casual Friday ensemble. Today I am on set shooting collections and want to have ease of motion, and this Osman waist coat and wide leg trouser set is as close to comfort as possible. I always feel my best in one of Osman’s impeccably tailored, utterly unique designs.

Osman for Tinker Tailor outfit, Hermès choker, J.Crew shoes

Saturday:

Today I am spending the day outside of the city with family and friends. This gingham Carven dress, accessorized with a wide brim hat by J.Crew and a vintage picnic-basket-turned-bag captures the mood perfectly.

Hermès choker

Sunday:

I am not one for selfies, but here I am posing with my favorite accessory, my sweet puppy Alfie. While I consider myself to be a homebody, my job often requires me to attend events, and tonight is no exception. For cocktails with a few editors and designers, I opted for my favorite dress of the season by Russian talent Vika Gazinskaya and a pair of white, floral-embellished pumps from Giambattista Valli.

Vika Gazinskaya dress, Giambattista Valli pumps

Follow Cleo on Instagram and Twitter. Check out Tinker Tailor where you can shop and create your own dress, top or skirt.

The post New York Closets: Cleo Davis-Urman appeared first on Man Repeller.

Consider the Orange Lip!

Recently an orange lipstick found its way to my desk. The packaging was inviting — shiny and striped and all sorts of delightfully confused — but I placed it to the side and forgot about it for the remainder of the day.

Generally, I spend little time thinking about makeup; I rarely wear it, and I’ve never found it to be as transformative as, say, a really good pair of jeans. But upon walking to the train later that evening, I got to thinking about the concept of unconventional essentials; the things that, while not immediately apparent and necessary, ultimately prove to be just that.

Orange lipstick operates in this realm — like a black sheep in a family of red lipsticks. Where red is classic, orange is quirky. Where red is demanding, orange is noncommittal. But with its proliferation during the Spring 2014 shows (see: Prabal Gurung, John Galliano, Rag & Bone), orange lipstick seems to have come into its own over the past few seasons. It’s even become a regular on the models’ lips at J.Crew.

Still, the hue may seem at best seasonal and at worst, impossible to wear. Because really, only a few of “the chosen ones” can pull it off, right? Wrong. If I’ve learned anything from Man Repeller, it is that the world really is our oyster. Its role as an atypical essential means that it adheres to one rule: there are no rules.

Pair your clementine lips with khakis and a t-shirt or a red satin evening gown or your birthday suit. The ensemble is irrelevant because the wide array of tints — from a subtle coral to a near-neon tangerine — not only complement a variety of skin tones, but punctuate an outfit in a way that dances with both novelty and normalcy.

And that’s exactly why I extol the virtues of orange lipstick so enthusiastically: I put it on and don’t have to think about it.

[image error]
Turn on your JavaScript to view content

Photographed by Krista Anna Lewis

 

The post Consider the Orange Lip! appeared first on Man Repeller.

A Week Without Sorry

I’ve always had a problem over-apologizing. At my first paid job at a talent agency, I apologized constantly for things outside of my control, assuming a more experienced assistant could have managed to get that exclusive reservation or forced that writer to send in their signed contract. Finally, when I was in the middle of apologizing for another minor error I hadn’t caused, my boss interrupted me.

“Stop. Stop apologizing for things that aren’t your fault,” he said. “Otherwise, you’ll just make people think everything’s your fault. And it’s not. Only a lot of it is. Okay?”

“Sorry,” I said, and he threw up his hands, defeated.

In Sloane Crosley’s “Why Women Apologize and Should Stop,” the author views effusive female apologies as a “Trojan horse for genuine annoyance,” a sort of verbal tic left over from centuries of women having to dress up a request in pretty, digestible language to get what they want. Crosley thinks this is a behavior we need to ban, that “it comes off as passive-aggressive,” and we’re better off without excessive apologies.

Per her article’s advice, I decided to get rid of “sorry” for one week, but found it difficult to shake. Instead of using “sorry,” I found myself filling its place with a thousand other placating tics — throwing the word “just” in every single sentence (“Hey! Just wondering if you could just maybe send me the correct number?”); saturating my emails with a dramatic number of exclamation marks (“Would love to get this mtg set!!!!!!!!!”); smiling maniacally.

The uncomfortable, apology-free week made me realize that my tendency toward over-apologizing comes from a place not of passive aggression, but of wanting to be liked. Instead of banning sorry, perhaps what I needed to rid myself of was an inherent need to please — which is easier said than done.

We still live in a world where powerful, demanding female executives are referred to as “crazy” or “bitchy.” It makes sense that women feel the need to consciously cloak their “fuck yous” in a sorry, the way Crosley describes. There’s still the concern that if we push too hard, we might be rejected, that if we don’t seem likable, we won’t get anywhere. Being humbly apologetic can be a necessary, useful business tactic — so is it my responsibility to remove sorry from my vocabulary, or society’s responsibility to stop defining the word as weak?

Ann Friedman believes it’s up to society to change the sorry game and wrote a story that followed Crosley’s, aptly titled, “Can We Just, Like, Get Over the Way Women Talk?” She believes women shouldn’t be forced to “question [their] voice.” If all women were to change their speech patterns to fit a prescribed, “powerful” norm, our cadence “would lose the casual, friendly tone we wanted it to have and its special feeling of intimacy…it wouldn’t be ours anymore.”

But I disagree. While I think that the ability to be kind and relatable is just as powerful a negotiating tool as brisk authority, I still maintain that my first boss was right: that to be taken seriously, one must speak with certainty and clarity, two things that throwaway words like “sorry” can undermine.

To suggest that we all stop apologizing entirely or disregard the notion of being kind and polite is not the answer, but neither is allowing ourselves to fall back on nervous tics. Rather, it’s remembering that the desire to seem “nice” shouldn’t preclude our ability to do our jobs in an efficient, self-assured manner, and that being confident is never something to be sorry for.

Photograph by Mark Borthwick for Purple Magazine Fall 2012

The post A Week Without Sorry appeared first on Man Repeller.

Summer Wedding Outfit Jeopardy

Cady Heron became a star the moment she provided the Mathlete state championship-winning answer: “the limit does not exist.”

We could then take that very same answer and turn this into a game of Jeopardy, with Cady’s quote as Alex Trebek’s clue and the correct response being, “If it begins in May, when does wedding season end?”

Get it? Because wedding season, like high school math class in general, seems to never, ever end. It, like the hopeful love we celebrate, is eternal.

(I’m not sure I know how Jeopardy works, btw.)

But I do know how clothes work! So what in the hooternanny are you supposed to wear come mid-July when you’ve worn through every slip dress, Zara frock and repurposed bridesmaid gown in your wardrobe repertoire? (If this looks familiar, that’s because it is, by the way — thought we’d remind you…)

What are: culottes, midi-skirts and flats.

Wide Leg Pants That Are Just as Dressy as Your Dang Dress

My guess is that by now you own at least one pair of culottes, right? Seize the wide leg! Counter it with a blouse that could be worn off the shoulder. You can DIY your own helicopter wings or forgo them all together. Wear really tall, fun heels because all wedding shoes should make your feet look like a Pinterest board.

(Pictured: Rosie Assoulin top and pants, Charlotte Olympia wedges)

The Bottom-Wear Equivalent of Three-Quarter Length Sleeves

In the event you have not started collecting straight ankle length skirts, may I politely recommend that you get your ass to it ASAYesterday. If 2014 was year of the roomy pant, 2015 is on track to become year of the cropped maxi skirt. That sounds paradoxical, but that’s only because it is. Counter the pin straight nature of your skirt with a voluminous top that may or may not allude to your being pregnant. Drink a lot of alcohol to throw the bridal party off.

(Pictured: Rosie Assoulin skirt, Vika Gazinskaya top, Olympia Le Tan clutch, Christian Louboutin-by-way-of-the Real Real mules)

Shoes That Give You Happy Feet

This look is much more about the region south of the ankle. If you’re looking to wear flats to an imminent wedding, don’t ask questions, just do. The best way to achieve this is by opting for a dress that hits your ankle in a capacity similar to the above skirt but perhaps does so in a slightly more formal fashion. The con: You’re a bit shorter. The pro: You’re the most comfortable maid in the room.

(Pictured: Alessandra Rich dress, Michael Kors sandals, Shourouk basket)

You won! Now take your prize money to the nearest open bar and run!

Oh god, did the bride ask you to “say a few words,” but you have zero? Let us help. And check out our latest office apropos, for more summer styling tips. 

The post Summer Wedding Outfit Jeopardy appeared first on Man Repeller.

The Subway Summer Sweats

When walking to the subway

Coffee spilling on your hands

You know what will be waiting

Heat and swollen summer glands

You fight out of your blazer

While the stampede starts to grow

And file down the packed stairs

Hide from anyone you know

The journey isn’t over

The Sahara rests inside

And you will be surrounded

By more people than a bride

So blast your favorite podcast

(Okay, Fine. It’s Taylor Swift.)

And pray you brought your Dove stick

Forgot? It’ll be a longggg shift.

Words by Emily Siegel, illustration by Gabi Anderson. Check out their site, New York Ditty, and follow them both on Instagram: @emilymsiegel and @gabianderson_studio

The post The Subway Summer Sweats appeared first on Man Repeller.

The Dream Job(s)

My dream job is double-pronged: professional gift-wrapper and Olympic diver.

Merging these two professions into one career path would be genius. Gift-wrapping is a calming, cerebral activity that’s far less physically strenuous than tumbling off a ten-foot platform. Diving, on the other hand, demands rigorous training and an affinity for swimsuit wedgies.

My time spent on dry land covered in tape and bows would provide me with ample opportunity to stretch and condition. I’d lunge forward to cut cellophane whilst holding my finger in the center of a bow, inevitably finding myself in the Warrior II yoga pose. Flexibility is key as a diver, but perhaps even more vital for the lone gift-wrapper, who cannot remove her hand from a square of precisely placed tissue paper but must reach beyond her arm span for her ribbon-curler.

My career choice may seem impractical but it’s actually rather pragmatic. Gift-wrapping is an underrated talent that never ceases to be in demand – birthdays, Mother’s Day, Father’s Day, graduations, Christmas, Hanukkah, Valentine’s Day, weddings, baby showers…the list doesn’t end. Diving, however, can only be done for a handful of years while an athlete maintains peak fitness levels.

By selecting this double-barreled career path, I’d be removing immense pressure from myself later in life when I face retirement as an Olympic Gold Medalist. I’ll have a gift-wrapping business to fall back into, and won’t have to scrounge for cash once my bank account is filled with cereal-endorsement checks. Unlike professional athletes who are forced to get their real estate licenses when their NHL contracts expire, there will be no brokerage law exams for me. I’ll be swimming in my gift-wrapping commissions as soon as I emerge from that 5-meter-deep pool.

Diving and gift-wrapping may seem far-removed from one another, but these occupations are inextricably linked by the pedantic personality each profession necessitates. Just as a diver strives to nail that double twist, tuck, triple flip into the blue waters below, an astute gift-wrapper does not rest until all corners are tucked, all bows are symmetrically tied, all quadrilateral packages are adorned by crisp, right-corner edges and all papers match seamlessly with complementary card envelopes. Indeed, the perfectionism required to make a great Olympic diver is the same commitment to excellence that anoints an expert gift-wrapper.

So you see, this career path is far more practical than it is whimsical.

If only I knew how to swim.

The post The Dream Job(s) appeared first on Man Repeller.

MR Round Table: Wax On, Wax Off

Leandra Medine: Something that comes up a lot in this office is body hair and the removal of it. Some of us shave, wax, laser. Some of us don’t do anything at all.

Recently, I’ve been thinking a lot about why I get waxed if I hate it so much. I know that I feel more comfortable in a bathing suit if I don’t have hair “down there,” but I’m not comfortable with the fact that I’m more comfortable waxed, if that makes sense. But whatever the preference — or mindset — because it’s summer, I thought we’d talk about it.

Krista Lewis: I remember the first time I shaved. I shaved my legs and my armpits and I didn’t tell my mom.

Amelia Diamond: It totally starts as this thing that you somehow know (or feel like) you have to ask permission for. Or something you keep secret, as though you could get in trouble for it.

I think it’s because it’s embarrassing when you’re awkward and young: it’s one of the first things that shows up when you’re going through puberty — or the first thing someone else will point out. I get my arms waxed, which I think goes back to this kid who was like, “Why do you have hairy arms?” I don’t think I ever knew that I had hairy arms before he said that.

Hadley Mendelsohn: This one guy used to call me “Wolverine Arms” in middle school.

LM: When I was in kindergarten my friend and I were playing without our shoes. She fell, landed next to my feet and was like, “Oh my god, you have hair on your foot where my dad has hair — I’ve never seen that on a girl before!”

And I was like, yeah, I do. And I still do! It’s ok. I am who I am. But my relationship with shaving and waxing is very strange. The reason I don’t do anything to my arms is because I really don’t mind the hair on them. Sometimes my husband asks me to shave it or to wax it and that really bothers me. I’m not asking him to, like, wax his balls. So why should he tell me what to wax or what to shave? Right?

AD: Leandra and I had a conversation with a Bliss Spa hair removal specialist named Zakia Abouzina. She said that when it came to motive, women tended to get rid of the hair on “exposed areas” for themselves. So armpits, legs, forearms. But when it came to their genitals, Zakia said most women did it for their partners.

I was just reading an NY Mag article about sex and how there are certain acts that people find degrading. Others found those same acts empowering if they turned their partners on, believing that consensual acts and reciprocation and pleasuring both parties are all part of the sexual experience. In a similar way, this is like waxing. And isn’t getting waxed because your boyfriend prefers it just one of the many compromises you make in a relationship in general? Like: I know you hate doing the dishes, but can you please do them for me because it will make me happy. Or: hey, I brought you flowers because I know you love them even though I’m allergic.

LM: But he’s not waxing for me, and I’ve asked him to. (Zakia did say, though, that while more of her clients are women, a lot of men come in. She said they’re self conscious about their backs so that’s primarily what men get waxed, but that they do their crotches waxed, too.)

Still, I think that my problem with bikini waxing in particular is that I am uncomfortable with having hair there, and I’m uncomfortable about being uncomfortable. I almost want to remove my hair to take back being a woman, and have that be my feminist statement.

AD: I guess that’s sort of what I tell myself. Making yourself feel comfortable is the most empowering thing someone can do. At the same time, waxing hurts. But so does going to the gym!

LM: I definitely go to the gym for me. Or for my clothes, but I guess if I am doing it for my clothes then I am doing it for some sort of outward gaze. Maybe a female gaze, which I guess is better than doing it for the male gaze…but in the end it is kind of the same.

AD: Yeah, and I guess if we did’t care, then we would’t run and get waxed. Still, if I could be a seal with eyebrows, eyelashes and head hair, I’d be happy.

LM: Why do you think that is?

AD: I don’t know, I just don’t like hair! What’s weird is I don’t mind it on my legs — I’ll walk around with prickly legs, but I prefer to be like a seal. However, I never look and someone and think: they’re hairy. Sometimes I’m curious as to why, but I don’t care. Go for it.

KL: I have a 70s bush. I used to trim it, but then I realized it was pointless because I like wearing full coverage bottoms at the beach.

AD: So was it an aesthetic choice — you like the look?

KL: It was a choice to not wax, and laziness. It started as a mix of self-consciousness and awareness that it was the “norm” to shave, and then not really knowing what to do with that. The idea of getting a wax terrified me, and then having pubic hair became normal. I’d feel weird without it.

LM: I don’t think that my leaving hair on my body is a feminist choice so much as it is a matter of laziness, very similar to my relationship with makeup.

AD: Is that why you don’t wax your arms?

LM: I just really don’t mind how they look. My motto is really: if it ain’t broke, don’t fix it. …But how do you really know if it’s broken if you don’t try to fix it?

I don’t mind how this looks, though, so I’m not changing it. However, I do laser my mustache!

Emma Hager: Waxing wasn’t a part of the culture surrounding me where I grew up. Women and my mother were very much natural. There wasn’t any primping, even when it came to coloring the hair on their heads. It didn’t occur to me that waxing was something people did until I went out into the world and found out that there are all sorts of manicuring techniques that I was so not in tune to.

I let my armpit hair grow out, which was probably a function of winter, but I think it’s also very much a specific time in my life, too. At my college there are so many steadfast and confident young women who don’t shave, and I think being in that culture has made me not feel like a fish out of water.

Hannah Kellner: I shave my armpits because it’s not a hassle, but I really only shave my legs for special occasions and occasionally for my boyfriend. We have kind of a weird agreement. He’s very hairy and can grow an awesome beard. I love when he lets it grow long, but according to him it gets annoying. So the compromise is, “I like it when you’re fuzzy, you like it when I’m un-fuzzy. So if you let your beard grow out, then I’ll shave my legs.”

HM: I think it’s unfair that there’s this assumption that you need to sort of have a reason behind being waxed, shaved or hairy.

EH: Right. Exactly. The fact that a woman with hair requires some sort of motive or a message — whether you’re a hardcore feminist or lazy or forgot to shave doesn’t really matter.

HM: Your body isn’t always trying to send a message.

LM: That is very much how I feel like the fourth wave of feminism should conduct itself — as a state of existence. Let’s not talk about hair anymore, let’s just have it.

Disclaimer: Zakia Abouzina’s views are personal. To do not necessarily reflect the views and and don’t necessarily reflect the views of Bliss Spa.

GIF by Hannah Kellner.

The post MR Round Table: Wax On, Wax Off appeared first on Man Repeller.