Brandon Stanton's Blog, page 143

“When my business started doing well, I made the mistake of...

“When my business started doing well, I made the mistake of hiring my friends. Now I have no business and no friends.”

(Santiago, Chile)

“He fell in love with me because I used to have a huge...

“He fell in love with me because I used to have a huge ass.”

(Santiago, Chile)

“I’m his only daughter. And this is his only...

“I’m his only daughter. And this is his only grandson.”

(Santiago, Chile)

“I didn’t want to take the pill anymore and I thought I could...

“I didn’t want to take the pill anymore and I thought I could control things on my own. That was a mistake. I started to cry when I found out I was pregnant. I was terrified by the thought of the baby being 100% dependent on me. What if I wanted to travel? Or go to graduate school? Or just get the fuck away and not talk to anyone? At first I wanted to get an abortion. I even called the hotline but I never went through with it. Now my son is my life. I’ve totally abandoned myself. I broke up with the father after a year. He has a new girlfriend now. He gets to have his life, and see our son whenever he chooses. He gets to go out. He gets to go through an emo phase and decide not to work. It’s unfair. He can play with our son then go back to his life whenever he wants. I get left with the hard part. My life is my son now. And I love him, so that’s a wonderful thing. But it’s a terrible thing too.”

(Santiago, Chile)

“If I did something wrong, it was out of ignorance. Maybe I...

“If I did something wrong, it was out of ignorance. Maybe I was too strict with him. I was in the army for twenty-seven years so that’s all I knew. He’s really pulled away lately. He doesn’t go to church. He doesn’t care about school. He thinks he knows everything and that we don’t understand anything about his life. So he always locks himself in his room. Recently he told me that he hated me. And I lost my temper and told him that he was no longer my son. Both of us apologized but things are still difficult. I think he’s just very uncomfortable with life. Maybe he feels like the black sheep of the family. My wife and I are professors and both his sisters are doing well. I just don’t know what to do. I’m trying to pull back now and be more lenient. I punish him less. I stopped taking away his phone when he doesn’t do his schoolwork. I don’t want him to rebel any more, but when I back off, it’s hard to be strict again and provide structure. So I just don’t know. I’m reading books to figure out how to reach him. I want him to understand that it doesn’t matter to me if he’s successful in a professional way. I just want him to have some sort of purpose.”

(Santiago, Chile)

“I’m going to tell you a family secret. We hated each other in...

“I’m going to tell you a family secret. We hated each other in college. We were in the same history class. We argued over everything. I’d make a point in class, and she would argue the exact opposite. At the end of the year, our professor forced us to work together on our thesis project. Both of us asked him if we could choose different partners, but he refused. We made that professor the godfather of our children.”

(Santiago, Chile)

“My mother was cold, harsh, and demanding. But she was the...

“My mother was cold, harsh, and demanding. But she was the best cook ever!”

(Santiago, Chile)

“It’s been over a year since my divorce. I’d been...

“It’s been over a year since my divorce. I’d been married for fifteen years. I was pretty beaten down. Some days I would feel so lonely that I couldn’t even sleep. A friend of mine from work told me to download a dating app. I tried for a long time but nobody was answering me. It was making me feel worse. I wanted to delete it but my friend convinced me to keep trying. Then on January 28th, I saw her picture and gave her a ‘heart.’ And she sent me a message. I said: ‘Wow, this is really happening.’ It’s like she’s an angel who came from heaven to bring light to my life. I love my chocolate bonbon.”

(São Paulo, Brazil)

“If there was anyone who cared about me, God already killed...

“If there was anyone who cared about me, God already killed them. My mother died when I was eleven. She had heart problems because of all the drugs. These two tears are for her. I can’t even remember her face. I remember going to her funeral but I don’t remember her face. When I dream about her, all I hear is her voice. There’s no dialogue or anything. It’s just her voice, saying: ‘Come here, Jeff. Come here, Jeff.’ After she died, all that mattered was surviving. Nobody showed me love. Maybe things would have been different if I had parents. Maybe I’d have a place to live. Maybe I’d have accomplished something. So I don’t feel guilty for anything. Why should I? God doesn’t feel guilty for killing my mom.” (2/2)

(Rio de Janeiro, Brazil)

“Drug dealing was delicious. I had a pistol, I had girls, I...

“Drug dealing was delicious. I had a pistol, I had girls, I had funk. Everyone saw me as important. I helped defend the favela and maintain the rules. You couldn’t rape, you couldn’t kill, you couldn’t hit a woman without permission. Everyone knew the rules and nobody could break them. Or else you might get erased and fed to the crocodiles. I don’t have a heart. I’m cold blooded. My adrenaline goes up– but that’s it. Afterwards it’s back to nothing. People feared me. People respected me. But then I got set up. One of the ‘higher-ups’ wanted my girlfriend. So he accused me of stealing. It was all lies. He even tried to say I smoked crack. They beat me with sticks. They broke my fingers. They knocked out my teeth. They took my girl, my clothes, even my dog. And now I live on the streets. I’ve got nothing left. I used to get everything for free. Now if I ask for food, I’ll get chased away.” (½)

(Rio de Janeiro, Brazil)