Brandon Stanton's Blog, page 142

(1/3) “In every sense she was the perfect mom. She always...

(1/3) “In every sense she was the perfect mom. She always tried to encourage me when I was younger. I was really shy, so she always worried about me being alone. She would ask things like: ‘Have you met anyone at school?’ or ‘Does anyone like the same things you do?’ She always knew when something was wrong. I never had to tell her anything. But Dad was the opposite. He ignored me. He never did anything wrong. He wasn’t an alcoholic. He wasn’t violent. He was just nothing—like a chair or a piece of furniture. His only idea of fatherhood was going to work. He never reacted to anything in my life. Not the good things, or the bad things. He didn’t react to me staying out late. He didn’t react when I experimented with drugs and alcohol. I made my mom very sad by trying to get my dad’s attention. A few years ago I got hit by a car. When I woke up from my coma, I called home to tell my parents what happened. My father answered the phone. I told him everything. All he said was: ‘Your mother is asleep right now. You can call her tomorrow.’ That hurt me worse than being hit by the car.”

(Santiago, Chile)

“The older my daughters get, the more indifferent they become...

“The older my daughters get, the more indifferent they become towards me. They don’t call me. They don’t come see me. They don’t do anything unless I try. I left the house when the oldest was six. I found a new partner. Their mother was very angry so she restricted my visits. Now they are teenagers and they seem so distant from me. I have nobody in my life right now. I have nobody to share things with, so I’d really like a relationship with them. But nothing seems to work. I pick them up from school. I speak to them every day. I try to take them to my apartment a couple times each week. But even if they are physically with me, it’s like they aren’t there. They don’t even say ‘I love you.’ It hurts. I guess they are still angry that I left. Maybe one day they will have their own relationships. And if they fail, they’ll learn that everything can’t be perfect.”

(Santiago, Chile)

“He gets emotional when he drinks. He starts crying...

“He gets emotional when he drinks. He starts crying every time an animal dies on the nature shows.”
“I can’t help it. I’m a Pisces.”

(Santiago, Chile)

“I came out at the age of twenty. I was trying to understand...

“I came out at the age of twenty. I was trying to understand myself. It was a discovery time. I was thin and flexible. I loved to dance. I started performing in a trans show at a gay club. I wore high heels and sang Janet Jackson songs. It was wonderful. I did my own choreography. My friend Carlos designed my costumes. Carlos didn’t charge me money. He wanted me to be a success. We weren’t lovers or anything. He was more like an older brother. He was huge, and coarse, and a little bit of a bully. One night I was waiting backstage and Carlos came running into the green room. He told me that there was a fire and we needed to leave. He had been standing by the exit when the fire broke out, but he still came back to get me. We ran down a dark hallway to the emergency exit. The hallway was filled with smoke and there was a crowd of people pressed against the door. They couldn’t get it open. It was chained from the outside. Carlos lifted me up on top of the crowd, and people began passing me forward. It was completely dark. I held Carlos’s hand for as long as possible. Someone broke a window and I got pulled into the street. I was completely naked because so many people had been grabbing my clothes. When I finally turned around, I saw the whole club engulfed in flames. Over twenty people died that night. Carlos was one of them.”

(Valparaíso, Chile)

“Our first house was destroyed by an earthquake in 1970. We...

“Our first house was destroyed by an earthquake in 1970. We barely made it out alive. We lost everything. I was only nineteen. He was twenty-two. We had two young babies and a third one on the way. When we found this place, it was just an abandoned lot. We built our house from the ground up. We lived in a tent and tried to save on everything. We carried wood and stones up the hill by ourselves. We collected free sand from far away. We barely slept. It took us a year to build. And we’ve been adding to it ever since.”

(Valparaíso, Chile)

“The only time my mother spoke to us was when she was drunk....

“The only time my mother spoke to us was when she was drunk. And she’d tell us we were unwanted. She convinced me to drink with her when I was ten. She told me that it would make me feel better. I started smoking crack when I was twelve. I never learned to read or write. I lost my entire childhood. My friends and I would break into cars, steal whatever we could, and use the money to buy more. It made me feel good and I wanted to feel good all the time. And nobody ever tried to stop me.”

(Santiago, Chile)

“My mother was the boss of the whole family. Everyone asked...

“My mother was the boss of the whole family. Everyone asked for her opinion on everything. She built this business from the ground up. She made all the decisions, she set the budget, and she ordered our supplies. I just helped with simple tasks like collecting money. She passed away six years ago and left the entire business to me. I was lost. I was so nervous and shy. I’d never shown any initiative. I had no idea what to do. But I figured it out. I learned that I could be assertive and make decisions. I’ve completely remodeled the place. And the business is growing. We only had two employees when my mother passed away. Now I have twelve.”

(Santiago, Chile)

“Being a grandfather is quite different. It’s much looser than...

“Being a grandfather is quite different. It’s much looser than being a parent. I don’t have to always worry about providing patterns of behavior. I just get to give her little kisses. I was allowed to borrow her this morning so we are walking through the park. It’s our personal pastime. She likes to look at the dogs and birds. Today we saw some blackbirds which was quite exciting.”

(Santiago, Chile)

“One night I was talking with my wife about how perfect our...

“One night I was talking with my wife about how perfect our life was. It was twenty-five years ago. We had four children. We’d just saved enough money to buy a new house. We felt so lucky. I remember she said: ‘What if God takes something from us?’ The next day I came home from work and found my wife screaming. She was holding our oldest son. He’d stuck his hand in the washing machine andelectrocuted himself. We couldn’t revive him. We rushed to the hospital but the doctors said there was nothing they could do. I begged them to try. My friends from the church came and we all started to pray. And the doctors were able to bring him back to life. He became a case study. Today he’s 29. He has learning problems. He can’t read or write. But he has a job as a security guard. He enjoys his life. And to this day, I believe in miracles.”

(Valparaíso, Chile)

“I had to leave Venezuela. I’ve lived there my entire life. My...

“I had to leave Venezuela. I’ve lived there my entire life. My parents are buried there. But five months ago I had to leave. It just got too dangerous. One day I was attacked while walking home from the supermarket, and I woke up on the ground. I’ve had guns pulled on me several times. I just couldn’t do it anymore. I’m trying to start a new life but it’s impossible to find a job. I’ve applied to about sixty shops so far but nobody will give me a chance. They think I’m too old. I tell them to try me for just a few days, but they won’t. I did find one part time job cleaning toilets and picking up trash. These are things I’ve never done in my life. But right now I can’t afford to be picky.”

(Santiago, Chile)