Brandon Stanton's Blog, page 146

“I want to be a doctor. All I have to do is grow up and ask...

“I want to be a doctor. All I have to do is grow up and ask the hospital if they have room for any more doctors. I’m probably going to wait until I turn twelve. The best part will be using the thing where you listen to your heart– I love doing that. The worst part will be giving injections because I’m not good at hurting people.”

(Rio de Janeiro, Brazil)

“I can get a bit insecure about my health condition. In the...

“I can get a bit insecure about my health condition. In the beginning I was worried that I wouldn’t be able to give her everything she needs. Because I can’t lift her. I can’t run after her. It takes me longer to do things, so I thought she might get frustrated with me. But none of those worries came true. She’s perfectly fine with our reality. She’s very patient. When we get out of the car, she knows that the wheelchair goes first, then Daddy, then Mommy, then Olga. She’s very happy sitting on my lap. And she loves to lie in bed with us. She even tries to help me. In the house I don’t use my wheelchair because I can walk while holding onto my husband’s shoulders. Olga saw us doing this recently, and she came up behind me and tried to help by pushing my legs.”

(Rio de Janeiro, Brazil)

“I met my wife when I was seventeen. I didn’t want to tell her...

“I met my wife when I was seventeen. I didn’t want to tell her about my schizophrenia. At the time, she liked another guy who had no issues and I didn’t want to ruin my chances. I hid the disease for a long time after we married. I would always find explanations for my strange behavior. I’d make up stories to explain my violent outbursts at work. But it got to be too much. By the time I admitted my disease, it was too late. She got a restraining order a year ago. I had an outburst and I hit her. She has forgiven me for the sake of our children, but they don’t live with me anymore. I’m on five strong medications now. I still have some difficulty controlling the pace of my thoughts. Some thoughts will begin before others end. It’s like my mind is divided. It can be tough to keep both feet in reality. But I don’t want any more problems. I’ve detached myself from everyone. I don’t speak at work. I spend my time alone. It’s my only way to live a normal life.”

(Rio de Janeiro, Brazil)

“I’m not going to teach him to sell candies. He’s just out...

“I’m not going to teach him to sell candies. He’s just out here until it’s time for school. My mom brought me out here as a child. I had nine brothers and sisters. All of us had to sell candies on the street. I started when I was five years old. I never got an education. I’m not able to read very well. This is really all I know. Some people put me down. One lady got mad at me recently and told me that she’d never buy anything from me, and that a supermarket near her house was hiring. I got really depressed. It was hard to put my head up after that. But there are also people out here who support me. I have some friends who walk by and talk to me every day. My friends from the bank told me, ‘Don’t worry about that lady. She doesn’t know you. You’re a great person.’”

(Rio de Janeiro, Brazil)

“We met later in life. We’re trying to have a kid but I’m not...

“We met later in life. We’re trying to have a kid but I’m not that young anymore. We’ve been trying for years now. Our families are beginning to really pressure us. I’m sure it’s my problem, not his. I’m starting to accept the idea. I’ve been thinking a lot about adoption lately. If I can have a small human being under my protection—that’s enough. I truly believe that a mother is the person who raises a child. So I don’t mind saying, ‘I can’t have children.’ At least then people stop asking about it.”

(Rio de Janeiro, Brazil)

“Just trying to raise a girl in a sexist...

“Just trying to raise a girl in a sexist world.”

(Rio de Janeiro, Brazil)

“I hated my father for a long time. He was an alcoholic. He...

“I hated my father for a long time. He was an alcoholic. He was abusive. And he abandoned our family when I was ten years old. My mother had to support seven children on her own. She worked as a housekeeper. My father remarried and became wealthy, but he never gave us a penny. Sometimes we went without food. But we survived. All of my brothers are grown and healthy. My father died recently, and in his final weeks he asked all seven of his sons to come visit him. Only two of us went. The rest were too angry. We mainly just talked about soccer and other small things. He never apologized for what he did. He still wasn’t the kind of person who could put his feelings into the world. But he cried the entire time. I had viewed him as a block of ice for so long. But he seemed human in that moment. He looked so vulnerable lying in his hospital bed. And at that moment I forgave him. Even if he didn’t ask me to.”

(Rio de Janeiro, Brazil)

“I got pregnant when I was twenty-two. It wasn’t planned. The...

“I got pregnant when I was twenty-two. It wasn’t planned. The father and I weren’t even in a relationship. But I thought I could handle it on my own. I felt like a modern woman. I was in law school. I wanted to be a diplomat. But oh man, it was hard. I wasn’t emotionally prepared to deal with it. Society doesn’t treat the child of an unwed mother like a blessing. When you’re married and pregnant, people come up and ask all kinds of questions: ‘Is it a boy? Is it a girl? How are you feeling?’ But that doesn’t happen when you’re single. People saw me getting fatter, but everyone avoided the subject. Instead they asked each other: ‘What happened? Do you know anything?’ I felt invisible. I dropped out of law school because I felt so ashamed. Thankfully a few close friends carried me through. My daughter is eighteen now. Everything turned out fine. But I wish I could have enjoyed my pregnancy more.”

(Rio de Janeiro, Brazil)

Today in microfashion…(Rio de Janeiro, Brazil)

Today in microfashion…

(Rio de Janeiro, Brazil)

“We’re taking a walk in the park to talk things through. We...

“We’re taking a walk in the park to talk things through. We broke up a couple days ago. I feel like she’s too possessive sometimes. We were at a party, she felt jealous, we started arguing, and I decided that I needed some time to breathe. But I only lasted a couple days. I started to think about a lot of things. And I balanced all the good and the bad. We have our issues. But she takes care of our home. She takes care of my health. When I was in the hospital, she sat on the floor all night by my bed. And she keeps me from falling into my old habits. When I’m with her, it’s all about family.”

(São Paulo, Brazil)