S.P. Wayne's Blog: STUFF IS HAPPENING, page 21

In things that make life randomly stressful news: my dog ate...

In things that make life randomly stressful news: my dog ate broken glass.

I brought home peanut butter in a glass jar. I put the grocery bag down on our (concrete) floor, and did not realize it had broken. I went around my night as usual.

So, let’s consider this from the dog’s—Ernie’s—point of view: FREE PEANUT BUTTER! ON THE GROUND! AT DOG LEVEL! :D :D

Around 2 AM, I am ready to go to bed. I check on the groceries, having forgotten them. There is peanut oil all over the floor, because the natural nut butters seperate easily. Carefully, I pick up the jar. I attempt a CSI style reconstruction. There is not enough glass.

“BABE!” I scream, so that my boyfriend knows it is time to panic, “I THINK THE DOG ATE BROKEN GLASS!”

“Did you leave broken glass out?” he asked immediately. Fuck that smartypants.

I go over and pry open Ernie’s mouth, which is easy because he’s really good about being handled. No blood. No cuts. I poke his tongue, move it around. I run my fingers over his gums. Nothing.

“False alarm!” I yell back, “Maybe!”

I crawl into the dog’s crate, and find a pile of sparkling clean glass.

“THE DOG ATE BROKEN GLASS,” I shouted, just to be clear. “OH MY FUCKING GOD.”

“This is why we don’t buy glass jars!” yelled my boyfriend. “I told you!”

Cue panicked calls to the emergency vet. Cue googling. Cue staying up until dawn to monitor Ernie’s condition. Cue vigilance. Cue exhaustion. Cue giving up and inviting the dog to sleep in bed so you can monitor the situation. Cue sleeping until 2 PM. Cue Ernie, Mister Dog, being TOTALLY FINE, thank god.

So here’s the thing. From the dog’s point of view?

FREE PEANUT BUTTER! ~EXTRA ATTENTION!~ SLEEPING ON THE BED! :D :D :D

The weekend was a wild success.

knucklewhite:dailybookmark:by sidsel sorensenHey,...

knucklewhite:

dailybookmark:

by sidsel sorensen

Hey, zombieboyband! It’s your brain, grrrl!

Not only is this true, but I saw the picture and went “it’s my brain!” before I scrolled down and saw your text. True story!

By the way I LOVE YOU, okay. Also you have the most beautiful tumblr in the world.

luxloveswine:elementarysherlock:The Wendigo[x] [x] [x]...

luxloveswine:

elementarysherlock:

The Wendigo

[x] [x] [x] [x]

oh fuck lLOOK AT MADS

SO MUCH NOPE.

I think you meant to say SO MUCH YES YES

"Imagine that the world is made out of love. Now imagine that it isn’t. Imagine a story where..."

“Imagine that the world is made out of love. Now imagine that it isn’t. Imagine a story where everything goes wrong, where everyone has their back against the wall, where everyone is in pain and acting selfishly because if they don’t, they’ll die. Imagine a story, not of good against evil, but of need against need against need, where everyone is at cross-purposes and everyone is to blame.”

- Richard Siken (via wellconstructedsentences)

Photo

squidhearts:Wisdom teeth extractionThis is what I did...

squidhearts:

Wisdom teeth extraction

This is what I did today. I came home, watched the latest episode of Hannibal while high as fuck on pain meds, passed out until 8 PM, and then had a chocolate banana protein milkshake. The rest of my plans involve loafing around on the Internet.

"For a while I thought I was the dragon.I guess I can tell you that now. And, for a while, I thought..."

“For a while I thought I was the dragon.

I guess I can tell you that now. And, for a while, I thought I was

the princess,

cotton candy pink, sitting there in my room, in the tower of the castle,

young and beautiful and in love and waiting for you with

confidence

but the princess looks into her mirror and only sees the princess,

while I’m out here, slogging through the mud, breathing fire,

and getting stabbed to death.

Okay, so I’m the dragon. Big deal.

You still get to be the hero.”

- Litany in Which Certain Things Are Crossed Out by Richard Siken (via wellconstructedsentences)

platedlizard:youvegottwogoodlegssousethem:wtfsocialjustice:...

platedlizard:

youvegottwogoodlegssousethem:

wtfsocialjustice:

Someone has an unhealthy relationship with sexuality here and it’s not me.

Or maybe you have an unhealthy relationship with accepting viewpoints other than yours -.- This isn’t even so much social justice as someone expressing their opinion, which I forgot, you can’t do on Tumblr.

sounds like the op of that screenshot is judging people for their orientation first fyi.

I read this first as “even bdsm sex is better” (than super scary fluid sex) and it was hilariously judgemental.

Also, no, man. Sometimes you need your bdsm sex very apart from lovey lovey feelings because that is what all the consenting adults agreed on beforehand. The artifice of a scene is sometimes essential.

Gay Pride Parade in Russia, where “promoting” homosexuality can...

Gay Pride Parade in Russia, where “promoting” homosexuality can still get you a hefty fine. You can of course get hate crimed for free.

Like i know it’s cool to hang out on our little echochamber on the internet and pat ourselves on the back for how being gay is totally chill now, but it’s still really not in many places. Slash fans: it still ain’t easy.

Why are you on tumblr instead of your own domain? It's not that hard to make a website.

I think it’s because other authors dream of stuff like respect, and all I really want is, like, fan art and gay werewolf memes.