Jane Wenham-Jones's Blog, page 16

We have a winner!!!!

100 Ways to Fight the Flab Competition. Judged by Janie Millman, Morgen Bailey (and me).

….  It was very, very difficult to choose. We wrangled and debated but finally in the end, we came to a decision. All five were terrific and in recognition of this, Mike and Janie of Chez-Castillon have been incredibly generous (thank you Janie and Mike!) and offered FOUR runner-up prizes of a £100 voucher to be used towards any of their fabulous courses. These go to:

Karen Booth for “The Regulating Waist Plan”

Jane Lovering for “Bum’s Away”

Cathy Lennon for “Acquire a Labrador”

Tony Tibbenham for “Roll Six for Chocolate”

But the winner is … drum roll… etc…

CLARE MACKINTOSH for her ingenious poem!

Clare Mackintosh

Janie Millman, judge and co-owner of Chez Castillon, who had this one down as a firm favourite from the start, describes it as “witty and unique” saying: “It shows a great sense of humour. I really do think it’s clever – I like the way she has managed to  mention Chekhov and Shakespeare…” Adding “and I have always love standing on my head.”

So Hurrah for Clare and our brilliant runners-up and a round of applause to all on the long list and a huge thank you to everyone who entered. I am hoping some of you will agree to your tips (and you!) appearing in the print version of 100 Ways to Fight the Flab which is coming out at Christmas (Better get on and write it then, hadn’t you? Ed).

Clare wins six nights at the amazingly gorgeous Chez Castillon in September (avec moi).

and I am hoping she will give me permission to reproduce her poem in the book too.

In the meantime, your weekly Flab Fighting tips from me will resume next Sunday and for a hundred of the buggers all at once see the kindle book, available here for a mere 77p (what a bargain).

Thanks everyone. And Happy Flab Fighting

janexx

Here – for your delight and delectation – is the poem again….

 The upside-down diet tip: a poem by Clare Mackintosh

I was trim, I was slim,I attended a gym,

Then I left work to become a writer.

Now I scoff, and I trough

(and I’m still no Chekhov).

It’s no shock that I’m getting no lighter.

I’m game for a change, I can’t stay the same,

And I’ve hit on the perfect idea,

It’ll win, I’ll be thin, I’ll have only one chin,

A skinnier version of Shakespeare.

So what is the plot? It won’t take a lot,

I shall stand on my head when I’m eating.

When I chew on my stew, without further ado

It’ll stay in my head (that’s the cheating).

Begone, Deli jelly! Don’t enter my belly,

Go right up and hand-feed my brain.

All that bread can instead go direct to my head,

With an order of chicken chow mein.

I shall shrink, I shall slink, I’ll be able to think,

With such nutrients feeding my mind.

I shall write, I shall fight, I won’t ever turn upright,

In my quest for a tiny behind.

The End.

p.s. Don’t try this at home.




Filed under: competitions, events, writing Tagged: author, blogging, books, characters, Chez Castillon, creative writing, diet tips, ebooks, Jane Millman, Jane Wenham-Jones, journalist, Kent, literature, Morgan Bailey, Morgen Bailey, non-fiction, novelist, novels, Plain Jane, speaker, story author, story authors, Thanet, Wannabe, WordPress, writing, writing magazines, writing tips

100 Ways to Fight the Flab Competition – Top 5

Following on from last weekend’s Top 12, we are pleased to announce the creators of the Top 5 Flab-fighting tips, complete with the tips themselves, again in author surname alphabetical order. We’d love to have your feedback. Please do comment!

Karen Booth –  The Regulating Waistband Plan

Sort the contents of your wardrobe into two piles – one a size or two smaller than your real size, the other one or two sizes bigger than you really need (this shouldn’t be a problem for anyone who can relate to yo-yo dieting who’s likely to have a range of sizes in their wardrobe for fat and thin stages). The idea is to wear the smaller sizes whenever you’re at home or working alone – anytime you’re going to come across few people. You’ll find it difficult stuffing yourself when your waistband’s cutting you in two, you’re likely to feel full quicker and the rolls and muffin tops you see every time you pass a mirror will be a candid reminder of the need to watch what you eat!When it comes to socialising and being in company, it’s time to choose from the ‘two sizes bigger’ outfits and revel in the compliments when your friends ask if you’ve lost weight – well surely you must have done, your clothes are hanging off you! This method also works well with the ‘fast and feed’ plan, wearing your tight clothes on fast days will leave you feeling like you’ve troughed your way through a five course meal (well alright, you might also need to use a little imagination!) whereas your bigger outfits on a feed day will allow you to feel comfortable eating what you like – just don’t overdo it and end up filling your ‘big’ pants!

Cathy Lennon –  Acquire a Labrador

The canine equivalent of the fat bridesmaid in lemon taffeta on your wedding photos, a Labrador will do comparative wonders for your silhouette. But he’s a practical help as well. You can get rid of those kitchen scales – when it comes to portion control, what he can demolish in thirty seconds makes the contents of your plate seem positively dainty. Even better, your chances of finishing anything are slim. Without a lifebelt and wellies you’ll have to hand over at least half of what you’re eating or risk drowning in a drool tsunami. Even cucumber and apple cores. And quinoa. (See! Helpful or what?)Not only can the Labrador deploy the Vulcan death stare to Oscar-winning standard when you’re trying to eat, he will offer you the same ‘aid to willpower’ when it comes to exercise. Labradors are creatures of habit. You thought death and taxes were hard to avoid? Try missing his usual walk time. Seriously. Psychologists in the military use Labradors as the go-to training aid for SAS-style relentlessness. You’ll cave. Eventually.On the plus side – and Labradors usually are – you’ll have someone who looks fatter than you do in high viz lycra. And to keep your motivation up he’ll always let you win any race. Well, you won’t be stopping every few yards to sniff crisp packets and lick empty Greggs bags, will you? (WILL YOU?!) But don’t do your business in the street like he does. Unless you’re an actual marathon runner.

Jane Lovering –  ‘Bum’s Away’

I recommend placing a large picture of one’s object of desire some six feet distant, then practising ‘lunging’ forward with alternate legs to place a kiss upon said object of desire. Not only does this shape the behind, but it gives necessary practice in the ‘snog and retreat’, which comes in handy should one actually meet the object of one’s desire.# Aim for ten kisses with each leg. #no liability accepted for restraining orders.

Clare Mackintosh – The upside-down diet tip: a poem

I was trim, I was slim,

I attended a gym,

Then I left work to become a writer.

Now I scoff, and I trough

(and I’m still no Chekhov).

It’s no shock that I’m getting no lighter.

I’m game for a change,

I can’t stay the same,

And I’ve hit on the perfect idea,

It’ll win, I’ll be thin, I’ll have only one chin,

A skinnier version of Shakespeare.

So what is the plot? It won’t take a lot,

I shall stand on my head when I’m eating.

When I chew on my stew, without further ado

It’ll stay in my head (that’s the cheating).

Begone, Deli jelly! Don’t enter my belly,

Go right up and hand-feed my brain.

All that bread can instead go direct to my head,

With an order of chicken chow mein.

I shall shrink, I shall slink, I’ll be able to think,

With such nutrients feeding my mind.

I shall write, I shall fight, I won’t ever turn upright,

In my quest for a tiny behind.

The End.

p.s. Don’t try this at home.

Tony Tibbenham –  Roll 6 for Chocolate

If you really want that chocolate roll a dice and if you get a 6 you are allowed the treat. Variations include rolling 2 dice and only allowing the treat if you get double 6.Things to be aware of: Only allow yourself one roll per treat, no rolling for hours until the 6 appears.  Consider rolling really vigorously so you must scramble all round the room and under the sofa to find the dice after the roll:  That way you get exercise and the chance of a treat.

***

And next weekend we shall be announcing the winner!

For a reminder of the prize…

The entrants had to: Write a diet or fitness tip in no more than 250 words. Entries were be judged on originality and entertainment value.

The author of the best tip will win: a week’s writing course with Jane Wenham-Jones, September 28th-4th October 2013 at Chez Castillon (see http://chez-castillon.com for full description) including meals and accommodation (flights not included) – worth £875.

And as a late addition to the goodies on offer, Janie and Mike Wilson – owners of the fabulous Chez-Castillon, have offered two £100 vouchers towards a course of the winners’ choice (terms and conditions apply). So THREE lucky names will be revealed here next Sunday at 6pm…

Thank you again to all that entered!

Jane, Janie and Morgen xxx

***

Filed under: competitions, eBooks, events, writing Tagged: author, blogging, books, characters, Chez Castillon, creative writing, ebooks, Jane Wenham-Jones, Janie Millman, journalist, Kent, literature, Mike Wilson, Morgan Bailey, Morgen Bailey, non-fiction, novelist, novels, Plain Jane, speaker, story author, story authors, Thanet, Wannabe, WordPress, writing, writing magazines

Plain Jane: With beaches like ours, why are we still languishing in deprivation?

Plain Jane with Jane Wenham-Jones: With beaches like ours, why are we still languishing in deprivation?

I BLAME my colleague Mike Pearce. I go to France for a week and when I come back the world has gone mad.

I can only assume that the collective mental aberration that led to seven Thanet Ukip candidates gaining seats in the KCC elections was down to the electorate misguidedly attempting to prove the grumpy old devil wrong when he predicted the Tories would retain control (he was right of course) or reeling in horror as he revealed why they shouldn’t. But for heaven’s sake! A protest vote is one thing – if it involves Jedi Warriors or the Raving Monsters – Ukip is a step too far.

We in Thanet need all the sensible support we can get, fighting our corner up at County Hall, not a motley collection of the blinkered to the frankly bonkers from a party whose recent national news coverage features members accused of making Nazi salutes, facing revelations of their previous membership of the National Front and claiming that extra PE lessons in schools prevent homosexuality (you couldn’t make it up, could you!).

I am appalled and not a little alarmed. Or to sum up: I don’t make a habit of quoting David Cameron but when it comes to describing members of Ukip as “fruitcakes, loonies and closet racists,” I couldn’t have put it better myself.

Scary election results were not all I came back to. My teaching stint at Chez Castillon in the Dordogne was delightful but came at a time when I was already behind on almost everything.

Bank Holiday Monday saw me looking at a small mountain of domestic and administrative tasks, two neglected manuscripts and the deadlines for three columns, including this one. I viewed the washing that needed sorting, the plants that wanted feeding, the post that should be opened and the half-unpacked suitcase I’d fallen over twice, and did the only thing one can do in a state of rising panic. I declared a day off and went for a walk.

This took me four miles round the coast to Margate, where I had a coffee in the Harbour Café Bar, played a brief game of Spot the Weekender (I’d suggest you tried it with the children if it posed any sort of challenge) and returned along the beach.

My wander took me across the busy sands of Joss, Kingsgate and Stone Bays, past the ski-jets and packed cafe, the stream of visitors to the Turner, lots of tables and chairs and sunshades, families cycling, couples strolling and a pack of fearsome-looking grannies with walking boots, sticks and haversacks who were look set to make it to Land’s End (good on yer!).

The sun was shining – I actually burned – the sky was blue, the sea calm and enticing and I thought, for about the 1,000th time in my adult life, so what is it that goes wrong?

Our coastline is stunning, we have attractions galore.

There are bars and restaurants aplenty, easy links to sea, road, rail and air.

We’re close to the capital, a spit from the continent and nothing costs too much.

Visitors are coming but why aren’t all the hotels bursting and the restaurants full?

Why is there still deprivation and unemployment when we can boast so much?

Why aren’t Thanet’s coastal towns, despite appearing on the must-see lists and being featured in the glossies, booming on a par with Falmouth, Aldeburgh and St Ives? Or even Whitstable?

Why hasn’t our cuteness/culture/maritime splendour/shabby chic – pick your corner, take your choice – turned our poor fortunes around too? I have my suspicions but I’d love to know yours.

Answers– on a post card, naturally – please.

***

Read the original article on: http://www.thisiskent.co.uk/Plain-Jane-Jane-Wenham-Jones-beaches-like/story-18947331-detail/story.html#ixzz2SsiZjLMH

Follow This is Kent: @thisiskent on Twitter

Filed under: articles, events, non-fiction, Plain Jane, writing Tagged: author, bank holiday monday, blogging, books, characters, creative writing, david cameron, ebooks, Jane Wenham-Jones, journalist, Kent, literature, Morgan Bailey, Morgen Bailey, national news coverage, non-fiction, novelist, novels, Plain Jane, protest vote, speaker, story author, story authors, Thanet, Wannabe, WordPress, writing, writing magazines

100 Ways to Fight the Flab Competition – Top 12

Taa-Raaa – we have the first set of results of the Fight the Flab Competition, judged by Janie Milman, co-owner of the fab Chez-Castillon, Morgen-with-an-e-Bailey – blog-designer extraordinaire and me. Thank you so much to everyone who entered. Morgen has been the organised one and done all the admin so over to her….

Hi Morgen here

Yes, that’s right – the entries were so impressive that we couldn’t agree on just ten.

Five of the twelve received a vote from all three judges, the other seven were picked by two of us.

Below are the shortlisted twelve  and we shall be putting our heads together to pick out a winner… we may be some time! Only kidding, we will be posting the Top 5 here on Saturday 11th May then the winner on Saturday 18th May… listen out for the fanfare.

For a reminder of the prize…

The entrants had to: Write a diet or fitness tip in no more than 250 words. Entries were be judged on originality and entertainment value.

The author of the best tip will win: a week’s writing course with Jane Wenham-Jones, September 28th-4th October 2013 at Chez Castillon (see http://chez-castillon.com for full description) including meals and accommodation (flights not included) – worth £875.

***

and now for the Top 12… (in alphabetical order by surname)

Name

Tip Name

Karen Booth
The Regulating Waistband Plan


Philippa Bowe
Clean out your colon


Tracy Fells
The E-Plan


Jessica Kennedy
Stop Doing the Dishes


Cathy Lennon
Acquire a Labrador


Jane Lovering
Bum’s Away


Clare Mackintosh
The upside-down diet tip: a poem


Jan Newton
Make Rejection Work for You


Janet O’Kane
Why join a gym when you can work out at the supermarket?


olivespastavino
Sleep The Fat Away


Rebecca Stanley
In a Spin


Tony Tibbenham
Roll 6 for Chocolate

So good luck to those 12 and watch this space for the top 5 next weekend and the winner the weekend after!

Filed under: competitions, events, humour, non-fiction, writing Tagged: author, blogging, books, characters, Chez Castillon, competition, creative writing, dietary tip, ebooks, Jane Wenham-Jones, journalist, Kent, literature, Morgan Bailey, Morgen Bailey, non-fiction, novelist, novels, Plain Jane, southern France, speaker, story author, story authors, Thanet, Wannabe, WordPress, writer's bottom, writer's retreat, writing, writing course, writing magazines

Isle of Thanet Gazette: Plain Jane 260413

If Thanet councillors don’t want people to see them brawling, they should behave with dignity

YEARS ago, when I was young and passionate, I joined the throngs in Hyde Park for a CND march.

In Trafalgar Square at its finish, we were addressed by the Right Honourable Tony Benn.

Three decades on, I can’t remember his precise words (I can barely recall yesterday) but I understood his basic message to be that the powers-that-were should keep a sense of proportion.

At a time when there was Better-Dead-Than-Red type hysteria, he made the mild suggestion that perhaps the Russians weren’t actually poised to invade us, take over Westminster and turn Britain into a Communist state, and that we should keep calm and spend our millions on welfare instead of bombs. Never mind what President Reagan might have to say on the matter.

The details are now hazy but what I have never forgotten is that by the time it reached the TV news that night, his speech had been reduced to a soundbite that had him all but welcoming in the Commies with open arms.

Such is the power of the editing suite as anyone who has ever been on television or been filmed or recorded in any way may know to their cost.

So maybe it was this kind of selective reporting that the good members of our esteemed council feared when they summarily threw Broadstairs resident Christine Tongue out of the council chamber last week for attempting to film proceedings.

Or perhaps they just didn’t want the rest of us to see that one of their number was shaking his fist at another elected representative, and getting rather red and aerated, and that it looked for all the world like a punch-up was on its way.

A spectacle that Christine, of the Thanet Watch blog, found too tempting to resist.

The debate in question was over the fated Pleasurama project and interested parties in the shape of the Friends of Ramsgate Seafront were there.

It was notable, Christine told me, how “articulate and informed” these protesters were in comparison with certain councillors who showed themselves to be significantly “less articulate and informed”, or “downright ignorant” as Christine put it.

“They were very bad-tempered,” she says, “and soon descended into abusing each other.”

Christine, believing it in the public interest to reveal how councillors behave in their meetings, started out by making notes but explains: “When it looked as though a fight was going to break out, I thought I’d get the camera out…”

Upon which, the session was brought to an abrupt halt while they got her out instead. Despite Christine offering to put the camera away for the remainder of the session, she was escorted from the premises by one of the two security blokes (both apparently employed by a firm in Bromley – do we not have security personnel in Thanet who might like a job?).

Independent councillor Ian Driver, who had by now whipped out his own camera and was taking some stills, was expelled a little later.

Bloggers various have since expounded on both individuals’ motives and potential for stirring up trouble but, actually, how is that relevant?

I would take the view on the principle of filming generally that if it’s good enough for the House of Commons it’s good enough for TDC.

Why shouldn’t council meetings be open and transparent?

If you don’t want your public to see you brawling, chaps – I understand it was a female councillor who finally stepped between the two shouters and tried to diffuse the situation – then behave with dignity and decorum. Because, of course, if you play up, we’ll want to watch.

There might be nothing on TV.

***

Filed under: articles, Plain Jane, writing Tagged: author, blogging, books, characters, creative writing, ebooks, Jane Wenham-Jones, journalist, Kent, literature, Morgan Bailey, Morgen Bailey, non-fiction, novelist, novels, Plain Jane, speaker, story author, story authors, Thanet, Wannabe, WordPress, writing, writing magazines

The Ab Fab ChipLitFest :-)

Well what a lov-er-ley time I had at this year’s Chipping Norton Literary Festival – a treat indeed. You would never believe the festival is only in its second year from its big-name line up and terrific organisation but it is and I’ve been lucky enough to be there for both of them. This time I had the enormous pleasure and privilege of being “in conversation with”  the super-best-selling Peter James on Saturday, who talked about his forthcoming Dead Man’s Time  (I got to read a review copy – bloody brilliant!)  fascinated us all with his police tales and amused greatly with his unique revenge tactics on Martin Amis (ha ha!). Peter is a dream to interview!

(Thanks Liz Fenwick for the photo of us at the Crown and Cushion!)

As is the gorgeous and delightful Fern Britton. I met her for about a minute before we started our event around her latest entertaining novel The Holiday Home but she was as warm and relaxed as if we were old friends. What a totally lovely, natural and generous lady. The audience adored her and so did I. She had some hilarious stories too… (Was Chipping Norton ready for the word c*ck?  Certainly seemed to be…. ) We all laughed lots.

Thanks Jan Harvey for taking this one

So put next year’s dates in your diary now. Chipping Norton Lit Fest 2014 runs from 24th – 27th April and I’m excited already….

Filed under: books, events, fiction, humour, interview, novels, review, writing Tagged: author, books, Chipping Norton, Chipping Norton Literary Festival, crime, Crown and Cushion Hotel, Dead Man's Time, events, Fern Britton, fiction, In conversation with, Jane Wenham-Jones, Literary Festival. ChipNortLitFest, Martin Amis, novelist, novels, Peter James, revenge, revenge tactics, The Holiday Home, writing

Plain Jane 12.04.13: Iain Duncan Smith could live on £53 a week – but that is not the point

Plain Jane 12.04.13:

I am often asked to sign petitions and occasionally I do, but mostly I find them a pointless waste of time.

And never more so than the one currently circulating, requesting Iain Duncan Smith to attempt to live on £53 a week.

This annoys me on several levels. Firstly, I heard the exchange between the Work and Pensions Secretary and John Humphrys on Radio Four’s Today programme, as it happened, and I wonder how many of the people pressing send on their e-mails and tweets, actually did so too.

Just for the record, I am NOT in favour of demonising or penalising those out of work.

I think potential implications of the “bedroom tax” are awful.

The disparity between rich and poor in this country should be a matter of national shame and I believe many in Westminster lead such removed and rarefied lives they have no grasp of what it is like to have no money.

However, the comment by Mr Duncan Smith is, as I see it, a typical media-hyped, example of the out-of-context sound-bite.

The MP was – quite fairly – put on the spot by John Humphrys, asking him, following an interview with market trader, David Bennett, if he could, as Mr Bennett had enquired, live on £53 a week.

Mr Duncan Smith replied quickly, “Well, if I had to I would,” before going on to say he couldn’t comment on individual cases, etc and blah. This was not entirely unreasonable. While, nobody, in my opinion, should be expected to live on that paltry amount, if you “had to” what choice would you have? His expressing that, which is what his tone also implied, is not quite the same as “I could live on £53 in benefits a week, says Mr Duncan Smith” which was one of the ensuing headlines.

Petitions asking him to try it, anyway, are futile for two reasons. 1) since when did any politician do anything because names on a sheet wanted him to? and 2) it would prove absolutely nothing because, of course, he could do it, for a week.

Like I could probably do things I would fear and dread – go to prison, say, or sleep on the streets – if it was for an article or TV footage. If I knew it was only temporary.

The hard, heartbreaking, dispiriting, flattening thing is to have to do it for a year, or five years, or as long into the future as you can imagine, because there are no jobs and no prospects of anything getting any better. And that’s unlikely to happen to anyone currently working out of Westminster and challenging them to play Let’s Pretend on the matter is just fudging the issue.

Better surely, that we sign a petition asking politicians to take some radical action to ensure that nobody has to survive on so little. Because, long-term, one can’t. Which is why so many of those on benefits have to get into debt, or go without basics, in order to make it through.

Instead of them kicking the poor when they’re down already, let’s ask the government to kick the banks – into lending, into getting the economy going, and stimulating employment. Think if we did, it would make a difference? No, neither do I.

It had to happen one day. Ed Miliband has said something worth repeating.

Upon the death of Margaret Thatcher, the Labour leader explained that the Labour party had disagreed with much of what the former premier had done, but concluded: “But we can disagree and also hugely respect her extraordinary achievements and her extraordinary personal strength.”

It’s about how I feel. I didn’t like what she did but could never help having a grudging admiration for the fact that she was able to do it.. Mrs T – RIP.

You can read the article on http://www.thisiskent.co.uk/Plain-Jane-Jane-Wenham-Jones-Iain-Duncan-Smith/story-18686333-detail/story.html.

Filed under: articles, Plain Jane, writing Tagged: author, blogging, books, characters, creative writing, ebooks, iain duncan smith, Jane Wenham-Jones, john humphrys, journalist, Kent, literature, Morgan Bailey, Morgen Bailey, non-fiction, novelist, novels, Plain Jane, speaker, story author, story authors, Thanet, Wannabe, WordPress, writing, writing magazines

With friends like Mike :-)

Whenever I give one of my friends one of my books to read (some  are too tight-fisted to cough up for one themselves ) I always say the same thing: you can be brutally honest. Of course, people still feel they can’t be. One pal took months to admit she hated my third novel with a passion, after loving the first two, thinking that by saying that, she’d upset me. Actually I was fascinated. It was illuminating to hear what had affected her so badly and we had a really interesting exchange as a result.

Refreshingly, My-mate-Mike, my fellow-columnist on the Isle of Thanet Gazette has no such inhibitions. I wouldn’t normally shove a review in front of you but the running commentary spread over several emails, made me laugh so much, I thought I’d post  the edited highlights. (The dots are where I’ve removed a spoiler – just in case after reading this, anyone still feels like braving the PRIME TIME. The Italics are mine. ) It’s been good to see how one of my books – primarily aimed at the female market – goes down with a chap too. Could he possibly empathise with the heroine? It seems not…

“I’m enjoying the plot but developed an early and intense dislike for the central character. No wonder hubby cleared off.”

“Not a difficult choice when the alternative is a wine-saturated busybody, always wittering about her internal workings.”

“Too much wine and whine in first 100 pages.”

“What the hell’s it got to do with her if he….? Surprised he didn’t smack her when she started quizzing him.”

“I trust you have planned a suitably hideous end for her.”

“Don’t like the sulky son or the oily television bloke, either.”

“Really enjoying it, especially now she’s …… Very droll and picking up pace splendidly. Still hope central character comes to a distressing end.”

“I reckon oily tv bloke will turn out to be a ******” (NB he was wrong)

“Looks as if the raddled woman might finish up with ….. Serves her right.”

“Your best book so far, by a mile. Can’t understand why it was nominated in the romantic comedy section…”

“Didn’t find a typo for more than 200 pages, then two more followed quickly, but three in 300 pages is a miracle nowadays. I trust they sacked the myopic work experience dunce who allegedly roof-read ……” (Insert title of one of my previous books) (Not sure if this is Mike being hilarious or he really left the “p” out…)

“I shall be sad when I’ve finished – which is the highest compliment anyone can pay an author! “

“Wonderful! So the two ghastlies finished up ….”

“A very good modern morality tale, which I think is too profound to deserve a rom-com tag. “

“Wonderful! Apart from the beginning….”

Thank you, Mike! Reviewer to the Non-Faint-Hearted.

Am sure if YOU’D like a no-holds barred review for your magnus opus, I can probably persuade him to oblige…

Filed under: books, fiction, humour, novels, review, romance, writing Tagged: Isle of Thanet Gazette, Jane Wenham-Jones, Mike Pearce, novelist, Prime Time, review, romance, writing

Plain Jane in the Isle of Thanet Gazette

I can’t find this up on thisiskent.co.uk despite the invitation at the foot of the printed column – if you can, please do send me the link! So here it is, for those that care, my take on why Broadstairs is a fabulous place to live – as spotted last weekend by The Times. Thoughts and comments welcome…

This is Why We Love Thanet

As those of you who read a quality newspaper will know, Broadstairs has been named by The Times as one of the 30 Best Places to Live by The Sea. The newspaper cites as its high points: good schools, blue flag beaches and the fact that London is 80 minutes away by train. Can’t dispute any of that, but those of us who live here can surely do better. As a long-time resident of what the Times refers to as this “genteel” town (they weren’t here on a Friday night, then), may I offer my own top reasons why Broadstairs in particular, and Thanet in general, is a fab place to live.

1) The Ahhh factor. When skipping among the dropped litter, dodging the dog poo or sighing sadly at boarded up shops, it is easy to forget how totally gorgeous Thanet can be. Look at the sweep of Margate Beach from the harbour arm, take time to stop and stare at Ramsgate’s glorious marina and feast your eyes on Viking Bay, twinkling at night or picture-book pretty by day, fishing boats bobbing. I can still wander the twisting pathway behind Bleak House, down past the 18th century Tartar Frigate and think: Wow.

2) Independent shops. Glossing over the lapse in taste that brought Iceland to Broadstairs High Street – most of the outlets here are small or quirky. Never underestimate how entirely fortunate we are to still have butchers and bakers and greengrocers and traditional stores like Harrington’s the ironmongers, the Bottleneck, York Street Post Office (or a post office at all!) and Peters Shoe Repairs.

3) Pubs. They may be under pressure but we can still boast as fine an array of timeless hostelries as you’ll find anywhere. Consider not only the lilies but the White Swan or The Brown Jug. And with 5000 boozers having closed across the country – the fact that we have bars opening. Check out the new wave of real ale micro pubs and rejoice.

4) Old Buildings Steeped in History. The bijou Palace Cinema in Harbour Street, the tiny Dickens Pantry and mullioned windows of Serene Place, York Gate, The Theatre Royal, the Tom Thumb ETC.

5) Old Codgers steeped in controversy. Credit where credit is due – we have the most entertaining local council in the land. Where else could you boast a set of elected representatives who have variously been put away for forgery and corruption, hauled up for brawling, played fancy dress with Arab sheiks, been dressed down for abusive phone calls, accused of homophobia, animal neglect and drink-driving… and just know in your heart, there’ll be more laughs to come ….

6) Interesting locals. An eclectic, eccentric bunch ranging from the old school, dyed-in-the-wool stalwarts of middle England to the arty dilettantes to the campaigning, table-thumping thorns in the council’s side. Millionaires shuffling along in hand-me-downs. Flash Harries with personalised numberplates on their third bankruptcy. All life is here!

7) Calendars and customs. Annual events that soldier on. The Dickens Play, Dickens Festival, Folk Week, town carnivals, Water Gala, Ramsgate Week… A shame the bank holiday punch-up on Margate seafront petered out but still lots to enjoy.

8) A proper local paper. With a letters page. (And Smudger). Take a look at the rags in other necks of the wood. See what I mean?

9) A local airport to take you pretty much anywhere. Hurrah for KLM and daily flights to Schipol. Am I the only one excited? The Loop isn’t bad either.

10) Being safe. Yes, Thanet has its moments but overall crime is relatively low, and residents mostly decent. If you fall over in the street, someone will usually pick you up. There’s an A & E up the road, police to be seen, the bins get emptied (eventually) and it could all be worse. At least it’s not Dover.

Filed under: articles, non-fiction, Plain Jane, writing Tagged: author, blogging, books, characters, creative writing, ebooks, Jane Wenham-Jones, journalist, Kent, literature, Morgan Bailey, Morgen Bailey, non-fiction, novelist, novels, Plain Jane, speaker, story author, story authors, Thanet, Wannabe, WordPress, writing, writing magazines

HOT TIP No. 1: A Chilli a Day Keeps a Lard Arse at Bay

Reblogged from 100 Ways To Fight The Flab:

 

So eat a chilli. The hotter the better. Chillies raise the metabolism and the fierier they are, the greater the effect. I ate my last fresh one last night and it's too cold to go shopping today so here, by way of illustration,  are some I bottled in olive oil the last time I was being a domestic goddess - HA!

Read more… 306 more words

Would love it if anyone would like to follow the new FLAB blog. One hot (no pun intended) tip per week - you won't be inundated.
And if there's nothing good on TV tonight I am on Radio Litopia at 8pm till nearly 9. See http://www.litopia.com/radio/shows/litopia-after-dark/ Happy Sunday jxx