Jane Wenham-Jones's Blog, page 15

Wannabe Writers on TV

Reblogged from BRIDGET WHELAN writer:

Heard from two bloggers - Catherine Ryan Howard and Kathleen McGurl - about a pilot for a new reality television staring real wannabe writers trying to get publishing deals and receiving advice from professionals alone the way.

It's the baby of  Jane Wenham-Jones, novelist and author of Wannabe a Writer, a practical no-nonsense guide written in a humorous, conversational style that makes you feel you're in a wine bar together rather than receiving pearls of wisdom from on high.

Read more… 416 more words

Carole is indeed a star and thanks Bridget for taking the time to write about this... :-)

Happy Birthday Morgen Bailey!

A quick post to say a Very Happy Birthday to the fabulous Morgen to whom I owe a great deal. This is the woman who keeps me (just!) the right side of insanity by sorting out my blogs and various online endeavours I am too dim to manage myself. It was she who single-handedly set up www.wannabeawritertvshow.com – thus allowing Stephen and I to get on with making the show and just pop in and out to add  a bit of content in between things.  I heartily recommend her services to you all – except not so much that she gets too busy to regularly bail me out… :-/

 

Happy Birthday sweetie! Have a great day.

And thanks for everything

jxx

Filed under: events, Uncategorized, writing Tagged: author, blogging, Jane Wenham-Jones, Morgan Bailey, Morgen Bailey, writing

The Wannabe a Writer TV Show

Here at last….

Am all very thrilled – and not a little nervously twitchy – to announce the launch of the first half of the pilot episode of Wannabe a Writer? The TV Show, a joint project between me and my mate Stephen Arkell of Retina Productions , in which we bring an exciting new concept in Writer-centred TV to your screens…

WATCH it HERE, Read all about it HERE and then do comment – I would love to know what you think…

jxx

Filed under: books, events, fiction, interview, romance, TV Show, writing Tagged: author, books, Carole Blake, creative writing, events, fiction, humour, Jane Wenham-Jones, Morgan Bailey, Morgen Bailey, Pilot programme, TV, TV show, Wannabeawriter, wannabeawritertvshow.com, writing

Plain Jane 020813: My Top Parenting Tips

OH BABY. Now you’ve got your little prince, or princess, what do you do next?

ALL together now, a great big ahhhhhh.

I love a new-born baby (it’s the next 18 years that wears one down). And, together with the rest of the nation, I would like to add my congrats to our young royals Kate and Wills, on the birth of Baby George.

The child-rearing instruction (as well as the weight loss tips – for goodness sake, give the girl a break!), of course, has been coming thick and fast, and I wouldn’t be doing my journalistic duty if I didn’t add to the slew of advice with my top ten parenting survival strategies, hard-won from twenty years of motherhood…

1) Breastfeed if you possibly can. Not because it will make a massive difference to the baby – nobody should be made to feel bad if they really can’t – but because it is so totally nice for you.

No mixing, sterilising, or staggering into the bottle-warmer with exhaustion, in the middle of the night. Can be done with closed eyes and once over the initial discomfort (try Google for what to do with cabbage leaves) is warm and snuggly and full of moments to cherish.

2) Forget your figure. And forget the media. Don’t be pressured into ridiculous exercise or diet regimes, when you’re already struggling to stay awake. If you breastfeed, you’ll soon be back in shape anyway.

3) Find out what makes him sleep. For some babies it’s the Hoover, for others it’s a drive round the block. In moments of desperation you need to have a fail-safe.

Mine was to hold my son while I made a phone call – the droning of my voice had him nodding off in seconds. My husband said he knew just how he felt.

4) Sleep yourself. If he’s waking you up all through the night, grab a power hour when he does, during the day. (We are back to the baby now, not his father).

5) Cultivate the Grannies. When it comes to babysitters nothing beats a doting Grandma. She’s the one who’ll read the same book a dozen times, sing the same song, be unfazed by the worst sort of nappy and gaze fondly when he screams himself purple.

And you don’t have to pay her £25 to spend all evening eating your biscuits and texting her boyfriend.

6) Don’t get stressed about food. Babies are remarkably resilient and while it may be best for him to ingest only organic pureed broccoli and the juice of hand-pressed pomegranate, he will not in fact die if he eats chocolate or chicken nuggets.

You will be less boring and have more friends, too.

7) Embrace the TV. Yes I know, when you were pregnant you said you’d limit viewing to 20 minutes a week – educational programmes only – and so did I.

But believe me, by the time he’s two and you haven’t had a moment to yourself for three weeks, you will be only too grateful for any minor obsession with Thomas the Tank Engine, Postman Pat or whoever is currently gracing the young viewer’s screen. The DVD player is your friend.

8) Boredom is character-building. All the great thinkers, writers and creatives got that way by spending their whole childhood with their head in a book because there was nothing else to do.

Babies don’t need flashcards, small children do not need to learn Japanese or Kumon maths. Mud is fine, dirt will help immunity. Falling off one’s bike is part of growing up. In other words, let them make their own fun with a slug and a bit of old stick like we used to have to.

9) Hypocrisy has its place. It is only sensible to deliver lectures on the importance of hard work, good manners and frugality without confusing your offspring by admitting you failed your exams, ran up credit bills and were kicked out of the Brownies. “Do as I say and not as I did,” is a fair and simple mantra.

10) Enjoy it! You may be shattered and frazzled and wondering what on earth you’ve done, but take time to cuddle and delight in your baby while you can. Soon enough he’ll be a stroppy, spotty, monosyllabic teen who costs you a fortune. Then – this will look like a breeze.

See the original article here: http://www.thanetgazette.co.uk/PLAIN-JANE-parenting-tips/story-19605259-detail/story.html.

Filed under: articles, Isle of Thanet Gazette, Plain Jane Tagged: author, blogging, books, characters, creative writing, ebooks, isle of thanet, Isle of Thanet Gazette, Jane Wenham-Jones, journalist, Kent, literature, Morgan Bailey, Morgen Bailey, non-fiction, novelist, novels, Plain Jane, speaker, story author, story authors, Thanet, Wannabe, WordPress, writing, writing magazines

Plain Jane: The heat is on, some tips for surviving the summer

SO THE heat is finally on – and has even reached Thanet – with temperatures predicted to soar into the thirties and stay there.

Cue a raft of government advice on keeping cool, carrying water when you travel (if you are going to London may I also suggest you take a cardigan.

The station at St Pancras is horribly hot under that stunning glass roof; the air conditioning on the hi-speed trains turned down to the level of your average domestic freezer) and not throwing your fag ends out of the window (London firefighters are dealing with 15 grass fires a day.)

You may have been longing for sunshine for the last nine months but now it’s here, official proclamations of gloom also include the cheery warnings that too much of it and your respiratory problems could worsen, your blood pressure might rise and that if insects such as flower bugs and ladybird larvae get thirsty enough they will take a suck out of you if they can’t find a nice wet leaf.

Stay indoors over the hottest part of the day, goes the standard advice, wear loose cotton clothing and use a high factor sunscreen. Might I add a few pointers of my own?

1) GET A FAKE TAN. If you’re going to parade acres of over-wintered flesh – and let’s face it who bothered with the Get-Your-Beach-Body diet this year when it’s been grey and windswept for the whole of June – flab will always look better if it’s brown (or even orange and streaky). You can rub lotion in at home, find someone to spray you or even step into one of those do-it-yourself booths. NB a word of warning from one who knows : but don’t sit with your feet in a swimming pool afterwards. You will look as if you left your socks on.

2) IF YOU’RE A WOMAN, buy a barbecue. Yes, you might be the one stuck doing the cooking most of the year but now is the time to get out of it. Men are genetically incapable of standing aside when there are smoking embers to prod and large pairs of tongs to conjure with. Look useless, fail to get the charcoal alight, and serve up a raw sausage or two and you can then put your feet up for the next six weeks.

3) IF YOU’RE A MAN, use it. Yes honestly, you are so much better at grilling outdoors than we are, and you do look especially virile with that spatula in your hand…

4) IF YOU’VE GOT CHILDREN (and you must buy them ice-cream) carry wet wipes. And could they possibly sit down while they eat? You may think they look sweet with raspberry ripple dripping from their chin but I don’t want to tread in it or deal with wasps. Same principle applies to chips and tomato sauce, fizzy drinks and anything else the ghastly little brats are whining about.

5) IF YOU’VE GOT A DOG, do NOT leave him in the car. Not even for a minute. (And pick his poo up. We’ve already got ice-cream if we want to step in something.)

6) IF YOU’VE GOT A CAR, do leave it at home. It will save you running down all the beach-goers who think summer means not using the pavement, prevent the clogging up of the main routes to the sea and will save me the trouble of writing you a very rude note when you park across my drive for eight hours.

7) PUT YOUR HAIR UP if you’re female – it cools the neck.

8) PUT YOUR SHIRT ON if you’re a bloke. It settles the stomach. Unless you’re actually on the beach, or are under 20 and go to the gym three times a week – less is more, believe me.

9) TINY swimming trunks are for tiny boys. See above.

10) AND FINALLY be thankful. This is Britain. Enjoy it while it lasts.

Filed under: articles, Isle of Thanet Gazette, non-fiction, Plain Jane, writing Tagged: author, blogging, books, characters, creative writing, ebooks, isle of thanet, Isle of Thanet Gazette, Jane Wenham-Jones, journalist, Kent, literature, Morgan Bailey, Morgen Bailey, non-fiction, novelist, novels, Plain Jane, speaker, story author, story authors, Thanet, Wannabe, WordPress, writing, writing magazines

Why I won’t be going to a festival this summer

(not without my lavender oil anyway)

The latest issue of The Weekender is out now. Here’s my two-pennyworth for those as yet unaware of this fine magazine… (see page 21)
http://issuu.com/the-weekender.net/docs/weekender07_pageturner/1

  

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Plain Jane in the Isle of Thanet Gazette from Friday 5th July

ONE of the things you learn as you get older is that whatever it was, it was always longer ago than you think. I was going to begin this by telling you that I hadn’t devoted an entire column to the village of Minster for about five years.

In fact, as a brisk search of my hard drive reveals, it was in 2004! When I’d been given an entertaining tour of the highlights of the parish by Gerry Glover and the cheery chaps of the then MATCH (Minster Action for Tourism, Culture and Heritage) . (I seem to remember we spent quite a bit of it in the pub.).

Since then my only real involvement with Minster has been to pitch up there when it’s time to visit my lovely dental practice (Abbey Dental Care – best in the land when you’re as big a wuss as I am) and to give a talk in the library. So no doubt a mention is long overdue.

And after Saturday night, I am very happy to give it. I spent that evening at the Sarah Thorne Memorial Theatre in Broadstairs, but it was the talent from The Minster Playhouse who were strutting their stuff. The long-established group’s performance of Calendar Girls was utterly delightful. Goodness knows how many rehearsals it took to get those buns in the right places in record time, but I can only tell you they paid off. It was a fabulous show! The set was brilliant, the lighting clever, the props ingenious and the warmth and joy of the cast was palpable. There’s clearly a lot of community spirit going on in that village and some pretty impressive acting too. Calendar Girls made me laugh, cry, and feel not a little pang of envy. I quite like getting my kit off too!

It is a shame, obviously, that this urge didn’t hit me when I was twenty-five (I am currently writing a book on weight loss and the best tip I can give you is to get a good friend to photograph you naked from behind – I guarantee you won’t eat for a week) but my small forays into the state of undress have been strangely liberating. Although you could argue that being painted wearing a strategically placed laptop, as I was a couple of years ago by local artist Brian Homewood, does not really constitute the full Monty. And at least you can beg to be ironed out in paint!

The glare of the spotlight is another matter and I can only imagine that knowing you are about to strip off before a live audience is the best possible incentive to live on alfalfa shoots and hit the gym. With this in mind, I have tried suggesting to the local dramatic fraternity that we put on a showing of The Graduate so I can rush to audition for Mrs Robinson before it’s all far too late. So far they’ve all laughed. So my heartfelt congratulations and thanks to the fine ladies (and the excellent chaps) of The Minster Playhouse.

Another thing you learn as you get older, is that sometimes you just have to live your dreams through someone else…

***

*JANE will be appearing with her clothes firmly on, at 7.30pm on Saturday, July 6 at the Sarah Thorne Memorial Theatre, where she will be compering The Mosaic Cat Variety Fund Raiser – an evening of songs, sketches, burlesque and harmonica playing. To book, phone the Sarah Thorne on 0845 2626263

Filed under: articles, Isle of Thanet Gazette, non-fiction, Plain Jane, writing Tagged: author, blogging, books, characters, creative writing, ebooks, isle of thanet, Isle of Thanet Gazette, Jane Wenham-Jones, journalist, Kent, literature, Morgan Bailey, Morgen Bailey, non-fiction, novelist, novels, Plain Jane, speaker, story author, story authors, Thanet, Wannabe, WordPress, writing, writing magazines

Plain Jane in the Isle of Thanet Gazette from Friday 21st June

Bit late getting this up here as have been away to the Winchester Writer’s Conference where I had the enormous privilege of hearing Julian Fellowes speak! Fabulous. Top quote: “just because nobody’s found you, it doesn’t mean you haven’t got it”. Could have listened to him for several more hours. I have come late to Downton Abbey (currently on series three of boxed set  so please don’t tell me what happens) but adore it. In love with Maggie Smith, Jim Carter and Lady Mary. ANYWAY, the column won’t be of particular interest to those of you living outside the fair Isle of Thanet as it is a rant about local parking (high cost and general inconvenience of/Council ineptitude over same).  But just in case and because  after an encouraging start with the new website, it is impossible to find online again, (My-mate-Mike eventually tracked me down but you wouldn’t know I’d written it if I hadn’t just told you), I am sticking it up all the same.

The basic premise of it is that there’s nothing like parking to bring out one’s inner tightness, but if you’ve nothing better to do you can read the whole lot HERE. Hope you are having a nice weekend even if the weather is shite. jxx

Filed under: articles, events, Isle of Thanet Gazette, Plain Jane, writing Tagged: Broadstairs, creative writing, Downton Abbey, events, fiction, Isle of Thanet Gazette, Jane Wenham-Jones, journalist, Julian Fellowes, Kent, Mike Pearce, Morgen Bailey, Plain Jane, speaker, Winchester Writers Conference

Plain Jane, Isle of Thanet Gazette 07 June 2013: Council double-speak hides another waste of money

And now I AM on the new website… hurrah! But here is my latest Plain Jane for those who’ve got used to reading it here… And Happy Friday!

(And greetings from Brighton, where, my friends, there has been SUN! And  HOT weather.  Was quite a shock to the system when I arrived….)

Council double-speak hides another waste of money

ADVICE: Tracey Emin says where art goes, regeneration follows. Thanet council would do well to listen

I AM sure you will be delighted to learn that Thanet District Council is carrying out a “targeted consultation with identified stakeholders within the business community, statutory organisations and key representatives from the voluntary and community sector” to ensure that their “draft action plan” setting out how the council “will deliver its regeneration priorities in partnership with other public sector organisations, the private and third sectors over the next ten years” fully reflects the “views of the people and organisations that will help to deliver it”.

This is part of the council’s new “Economic Growth and Regeneration Strategy” and will provide feedback on the “draft action plan” which is split into five areas to “reflect the priorities of the overall strategy” which will help shape the “final action plan” to be approved by the Cabinet at some date in the future.

Would you like me to translate?

What all this guff means is that yet again a lot of hot air is about to be expended on what can be done to give Thanet a kick up the jacksie.

You can view the finer details online if you’re a bit bored and tired of watching paint dry.

But we’re basically talking (I quote) Business Growth; Investing in Assets; Green Economy (whatever that will actually mean); Heritage, Culture and Visitor Economy (tourism to you and me) and Skills for Employment and Growth.

In other words, what they can do to boost the day-tripper numbers so that the whole area gets a bit more dosh spent in it and this has a good knock-on effect.

Far be it from me, a humble hack, to know anything – I lost the will to live even looking for said plan on the TDC website – but haven’t we been here before? Instead of more “consultations” (at a cost of I-dread-to-think) why not hire a decent PR company to spread the news of the joys of Thanet across the national media, or take the cheaper option and get some of the council’s many admin workers to have a go at writing such press releases themselves.

A tip for whoever wrote this one: simple words work well too…

SPEAKING of the joys of the island, how nice to see an exhibition devoted to its more pleasing corners. Scottish-born, Dutch-resident-but-confirmed-Thanet-devotee, Paul Ellis’s Coast to Coast held in the Harbour Arm Gallery in Margate, has sadly just closed, but do check out his website http://www.paulellis.nl for paintings of places you’ll recognise.

To quote Tracey Emin: “Wherever art goes, regeneration follows.” Promote the artistic endeavours TDC and the rest may take care of itself…

THANK you for all the breakfast suggestions that have come in following my last column.

These have included Angela’s Cafe in Margate, the brunch at the Churchill Tavern in Ramsgate, Quex Barn, Dalby Cafe, Yama’s Thai Cafe, Picnic Pantry Cafe and Wyatt & Jones. My son is poised for a full comparison study – I will try to waddle my way round them all in due course.

AND while I am on best breakfasts, I am also inviting nominations for worst evening fare.

Can you beat this?

There is a place in Thanet that belies the rumour that the Brits are becoming more discerning restaurant-wise.

Imagine tired décor and the air thick with  eau-de-la chip-pan.

Grudging service that is added to the bill. An Italian slant to the menu but no parmesan cheese or pepper grinder. Faces pulled when one enquires.

French fries served with pasta.

No ice-cream, no cheese, no credit cards taken.

Well it won’t last, I hear you cry. Sadly, it’s been going 25 years…

Filed under: articles, non-fiction, Plain Jane, writing Tagged: author, blogging, books, characters, creative writing, ebooks, isle of thanet, Isle of Thanet Gazette, Jane Wenham-Jones, journalist, Kent, literature, Morgan Bailey, Morgen Bailey, non-fiction, novelist, novels, Plain Jane, speaker, story author, story authors, Thanet, thanet council, thanet district council, Wannabe, WordPress, writing, writing magazines

Plain Jane, Isle of Thanet Gazette, 24th May 2013: The Big Thanet Breakfast

The Isle of Thanet Gazette has a new website ( www.thanetgazette.co.uk) but it’s not yet sporting my latest column. So, for the strong-stomached, you saw it here first. Yes, he really ate the below…

Tom tucks in – photo by his slightly-revolted mother

Like most mothers, I suffer my areas of guilt. I didn’t do enough sticking and gluing, actively encouraged long hours in front of the video machine when deadlines loomed, and was too often to be found staring at a computer, waving a vague arm and saying shhh, when I should have been holding up flash cards or steaming off to violin lessons and Kumon maths. But on the matter of my handling of the offspring’s food intake, I am unrepentant. I was a “fussy eater” as a child and the anxiety it caused me, lasted years. (The mere phrase “School Dinners”  still leaves me in need of a lie-down.)

So when I gave birth to another picky consumer, I was determined to accommodate. So what, if he had marmite pasta when others ate meat and two veg? Who cared if crisps were high on the menu – they were only potatoes and sunflower oil – or anything green was anathema? I took the view that contentment came before cabbage, that no child had died from chicken nuggets overload and that if they came with a vitamin pill, biscuits could make breakfast. And – above all – that time would sort my son’s eating habits as, eventually, it sorted mine.

As you might imagine, I was not without my critics – rod-for-your-own-back-blah-blah / five-portions-a day-or-may-you-burn-in-hell etc – but vindication has been sweet. The boy has still grown tall and strong, has only the one head, has passed exams, rarely been to the doctor’s and now eats most things. In fact, after a recent flurry of mother-and-son bonding breakfasts, I would say he has a stomach of iron. On the loose excuse that he is busy revising and needs lots of fortification and that I am researching a guide to weight control (apparently if you eat two eggs when you get up, you will consume four hundred fewer calories later), we have been perusing the Isle’s early-morning establishments in search of the perfect start to the day.

As one who tends to judge an eatery by  the quality of its bread, the standard of the wine list and whether the loo is nice, I might have set criteria like whether the cups were pretty, the butter well churned and the coffee real, but I have been quickly put right. Quantity is right up there with quality on this mission.  While I am primly searching the board for egg on hand-cut granary, he is scanning the jumbo double bacon options and working out how many extra sausages he can get. His current favourite is the ultra-friendly Café Kussan on Northdown Road where “the big one” includes chips as well.

We have also worked our way through the Olympia Café (Ethelbert Crescent, Margate): good toast and a size of fry-up that has to be seen – we are talking THREE eggs, THREE sausages, and yes he did eat it all; Forts (Cliff Terrace, Margate), exotic scrambled egg options and a good selection of teas (all a bit delicate for the boy) and the Harbour Café (Harbour Street, Broadstairs) – delightfully seasidey, with a lovely view of the beach. I have also made a break-out trip to the Royal Harbour Brasserie, where I had a delicious duck egg and shrimps (this does not appeal to the bacon-muncher). We are venturing into more of Ramsgate next.

If you have any recommendations for Jones and Son on our tireless quest to review the Big Thanet Breakfast, please let me know. I like the tables to be clean and the mugs unchipped. He’ll eat anything…

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