Jane Wenham-Jones's Blog, page 14

Plain Jane 081113: Who says we can’t make our own entertainment?

WHO says we can’t make our own entertainment? This family, gathered round the kitchen table on a dark, windswept night, has just spent an enjoyable fun-filled hour on a spontaneous game of Which-Bin-Now? For which jolliness, I must thank Thanet council.

Consternation rippled through the Wenham-Jones household when the bins, bags and 14 pages of leaflets arrived heralding the new system of recycling and refuse collection.

My husband is not a man given to embracing change. He believes in Routine and Not Wavering from it. Bin day moving from a Friday to a Wednesday was never going to go down well. Where we live, facts, once established, remain immutable. (Woe betide any family member who has previously been heard to state: “Let’s leave at seven,” and is not panting by the front door at 18.59.)

Changing Bin Days AND the colour-coding of receptacles was a step too far.

When I returned from a small therapeutic trip away to a place where I could leave lights on and the radio unattended for 30 seconds without it being switched off, a family summit was convened to deal with the crisis.

My son Tom, in his position as highest academic achiever on the premises (a truth established after a small argument over the merits of a banking diploma gained circa 1964), was put in charge of training, and soon proved his worth.

“It is easy to remember,” he said, beautifully illustrating the value of those hours I spent banging his head against the wall to make him learn his spellings, “anything you’ve READ goes in the RED. Food that passes THROUGH, ends up as POO. And what colour is that?”

This made him and me both fall about giggling in a very juvenile fashion, but my husband was not to be deterred.

“I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again,” he barked. “I pay nearly three grand a year in council tax. I’m not washing out bottles as well.”

“Bottles go in the blue,” said my son. “How do you feel when you run out of wine? Exactly.”

“It’s all a nonsense,” shouted my husband, now banging the table in testy fashion. “Neither of you has a clue how much the water rates are, either.”

My son flapped the leaflets to regain order. And began testing us in a rapid-fire manner reminiscent of Jeremy Paxman on University Challenge reading from practice papers for the 11 plus.

“If Rashid has cereal for breakfast and finishes the packet,” he droned, “and there is a cardboard outer, but a plastic inner, which bin does he put it in?” “Red then Blue,” I cried triumphantly. “With the left-over crumbs in Brown.”

My husband glared. “I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again,” he growled. “I pay three grand…”

The next morning he was up bright and early, unplugging appliances and throwing out the papers I hadn’t read. I managed to retrieve the Gazette while he was frowning at his colour chart, and turned to the isle’s reaction to the latest system.

I particularly enjoyed Isobel Browning’s resistance, lifted from Facebook, to having a “slop bucket” in her kitchen. I share that revulsion. Can I suggest the following: a compost bin outside for the vegetable peelings. A robust approach to sell-by dates (in my experience there’s a good week’s margin on most products and I’ve eaten yoghurt after six months). And this tried and tested method of disposal: Pile all unwanted food on a plate, take it into the garden, place on a picnic table with cutlery and a glass of wine as if about to commence a summer’s lunch.

Clap a hand to your forehead as if you have forgotten the salt and pop back into the house for a maximum of ten seconds.

When you return, the seagulls will have eaten up the lot.

*

Read the original article at: http://www.thisiskent.co.uk/Plain-Jane-says-t-make-entertainment/story-20052561-detail/story.html

Filed under: articles, Isle of Thanet Gazette, Plain Jane, writing Tagged: author, blogging, books, characters, creative writing, ebooks, isle of thanet, Isle of Thanet Gazette, Isobel Browning, Jane Wenham-Jones, Jeremy Paxman, journalist, Kent, literature, Morgan Bailey, Morgen Bailey, non-fiction, novelist, novels, Plain Jane, speaker, story author, story authors, Thanet, thanet council, TV applications, TV show, Wannabe, Wannabe a Writer, WordPress, writing, writing magazines, writing TV show

How time flies… a big hand for Carole Blake!

How time flies… a big hand for Carole Blake!

My small tribute to the Queen of Shoes and her Fifty Years in Publishing. It was a fab party….

First published in Woman’s Weekly Fiction Special, Issue 11, 2013

Filed under: articles, events, writing Tagged: author, blogging, books, Carole Blake, characters, creative writing, ebooks, isle of thanet, Isle of Thanet Gazette, Jane Wenham-Jones, journalist, Kent, literature, Morgan Bailey, Morgen Bailey, non-fiction, novelist, novels, Plain Jane, speaker, story author, story authors, Thanet, TV applications, TV show, Wannabe, Wannabe a Writer, WordPress, writing, writing magazines, writing TV show

Doing NaNoWrimo??

I am not doing NaNoWriMo officially, but with a book to finish, another one to start, columns piling up, hundreds of emails to answer and a for-God’s-sake-do-soon paper pile that is threatening to take over the entire room, I have my own reasons for needing to buckle down this month. If you live on your own, and don’t go out to work, what’s to stop you? But if you have a family and busy life to juggle, here are my top tips, hoiked out of Wannabe a Writer? for getting lots written in a short space of time…. Good luck!  

How to Write When There’s no Time:

Think about getting up an hour earlier and write while the rest of the house is asleep. When I’m getting to the end of a book (which always takes longer than planned) I sometimes rise at four a.m. to guarantee three hours of non- interruption and have stayed up all night on occasion. I do not, however, recommend you consider any of these options if you have very small children because you must be totally exhausted already. As the mother of the “boy-who-never-slept,” I sympathise.
Think about going to bed later and write while everyone else is asleep. N.B. If you like a drink in the evenings you might find you don’t understand any of it in the morning but at least your word count will be up.
Be alert for all chances to write. Get yourself a nice notebook and carry it around with you, jotting down thoughts and snatches of dialogue, sentences that spring to mind or how you are feeling at a particular time, whenever you get the chance. In the dentist’s waiting- room, for example, outside the school gates or when you have to stand around in a queue. Remind yourself that there’s nothing like being prevented from writing to make you really productive when you finally get the chance.
Join a local writing group so someone else is forced to look after the kids and you have a guaranteed evening a week to focus on your desire to write. Meet others who share your difficulties and can give you support.
Pretend you’ve joined a writing group and go and write in the pub.
Swap childcare with a friend. If he or she writes too, so much the better but strike a pact in any case. Have her kids round to play while she does her embroidery or car maintenance, in return for her having yours while you bash out a short story.
Forget all that talk about the perils of too much TV and embrace the dvd player as the greatest of childcare inventions. Tell the children you’re all going to watch a favourite film and once they’re absorbed, you can scribble things on your lap and make the right noises at the exciting bits.
Write during Sports Days and school plays. The moment your own offspring leave track or stage, whip out your pen. Put it round the playground that you are a freelance journalist and nobody will think you rude. On the contrary, they will be delighted, assuming you are taking copious notes on the feats of their little darlings.
When your spouse asks what you’d like for your birthday, request a day to yourself. Earmark a weekend where he or she takes the kids out and leaves you in blissful solitude at your desk. (N.B. This is unlikely to go down well on your wedding anniversary.)
Establish the ground-rule that writing is just as important as Golf or Going Shopping for Shoes. Drum this into the kids, too. Remember that being bored is character-forming. Let them get a feel for it.

Finally comfort yourself with the thought that if you write ALL the time you won’t have anything to write about.  It is part of the process that you need to reflect and recharge, wander and ponder, see people, live life a little – otherwise you’ll have nothing to say.

Talking to the postman is a crucial part of a writer’s day’s work. And all airing cupboards need a tidy sometimes.

***

Taken from Wannabe a Writer? By Jane Wenham-Jones, published by Accent Press in paperback and Kindle from Amazon.com and Amazon.co.uk..

Filed under: articles, books, fiction, novels, writing Tagged: author, blogging, books, characters, creative writing, ebooks, isle of thanet, Isle of Thanet Gazette, Jane Wenham-Jones, journalist, Kent, literature, Morgan Bailey, Morgen Bailey, NaNoWriMo, National Novel Writing Month, non-fiction, novelist, novels, Plain Jane, speaker, story author, story authors, Thanet, TV applications, TV show, Wannabe, Wannabe a Writer, WordPress, writing, writing magazines, writing TV show

Plain Jane 251013: Why I’m welcoming Manston’s new owner Ann Gloag

SO MANSTON Airport has been sold for a pound. As the lovely Ed and I agreed, had we known it was going to be so cheap, we could have clubbed together and bought it ourselves.

I have listened with interest to reaction to the news that Ann Gloag, legendary hot-shot business woman, co-creator of the Stagecoach millions and probably fairly terrifying, is the buyer of our local airport.

“Asset-stripper,” says one friend darkly. “It will end up a housing estate,” says another. “Night flights…” drones a third.

I am aware of Mrs Gloag’s reputation for hard-nosed business practice (you don’t get to own two castles by playing tiddlywinks) but I, lover of all things Manston (except of course, you at the back with the eggs, the said night flights. No, I am not asking for those. That’s it – you can put the box down now…) am pushing down any pricklings of unease and choosing to look on the upside.

I am giving Mrs G – the woman who brought us The Loop – the benefit of the doubt.

I am seeing her as a Knightress in shining armour, who will save jobs and create more, bring prosperity to the isle, investment to the Manston infrastructure and ultimately secure the future of somewhere I can fly all over the world from, when I want to be shouted at.

When I came back from Amsterdam this week (in 35 minutes only – indoors within the hour) I was pleased to see the plane was almost full. I hope this means the future for Manston is bright.

And brighter now it’s Gloag-shaped. If so, I’d say we’ve got a bargain. It could be the best pound we never spent.

IT IS the lot of the columnist to receive abuse. Indeed my esteemed colleague Mike would consider us to have failed in our duty, were it otherwise.

So being told by Mr Dennis Franklin I am “a selfish, mean, nasty person” (he writes to me personally as well as to the letters page) with the addition of “Dr Goebbles (sic) (why can the worst of the ranters never spell?) would be proud of you”, is par for the course.

Everyone is entitled to their opinions – even if Dr Goebbels, after one look at my family history, would have dispatched me to the nearest camp. But opinions are one thing – I’m afraid I can be a pedant for the facts. So for those still overexcited by my trip to Manchester by plane from Manston, let me share them with you.

My airfare cost £148.80 (sight of receipt available on request). It was paid on my own credit card, although in due course I will be reimbursed by the magazine I went to Manchester to work for.

My investigations at the time, via the trainline.com (you may know cheaper sites) informed me had I taken a similar journey by train – as I did the previous year – it would have cost, depending on the time of day I travelled, anything from £101.90 to £390. But financial considerations were not my primary reason for flying.

As I explained at the time, I was keen to try out the service from KLM and Manston – so that I could write the very column Mr Franklin so enjoyed.

I did and was delighted. And have done it twice more since, to France and Spain.

“We should be told,” wrote Mr Franklin on the letters page a fortnight ago, when demanding to know who had paid my fare. Dear Sir, you just have been.

You can read the original article at http://www.thanetgazette.co.uk/Plain-Jane-m-welcoming-Manston-s-new-owner-Ann/story-19988111-detail/story.html.

Filed under: articles, Isle of Thanet Gazette, Plain Jane, writing Tagged: author, blogging, books, characters, creative writing, ebooks, isle of thanet, Isle of Thanet Gazette, Jane Wenham-Jones, journalist, Kent, literature, Morgan Bailey, Morgen Bailey, non-fiction, novelist, novels, Plain Jane, speaker, story author, story authors, Thanet, TV applications, TV show, Wannabe, Wannabe a Writer, WordPress, writing, writing magazines, writing TV show

I couldn’t have put it better myself…

A lovely blog post here from the immensely talented Clare Mackintosh (watch out for her debut novel next year – it’s going to be astonishing) about our recent time together at the legendary Chez Castillon, where I have had so many happy times.

This visit was particularly special, as I had my pals Katie Fforde, Catherine Brace-up Jones (who made me walk up and down hills mercilessly) and Judy Astley in residence too, along with Betty Orme, (my partner in crime in the crisps department), Jo Thomas and lovely, lovely students, all of whom taught me as much as I imparted to them. Everything Clare says about Janie and Mike’s gaff is spot on – it is a miracle* I came back weighing the same as I went out (Brace-up did me a favour, there, even if I did whinge at the time).

I am back at Chez Castillon in  2014 – doing a general course in May and a specialised short story course in September. Watch the website for details. In the meantime, I’ve still got the photos, Gorgeous…..

*not such a miracle actually – you can pre-order,  now…

You can click the picture above for Clare’s article or here.

Filed under: articles, books, eBooks, events, non-fiction, novels, writing Tagged: author, blogging, books, Catherine Jones, characters, Chez Castillon, Clare Mackintosh, creative writing, ebooks, isle of thanet, Isle of Thanet Gazette, Jane Wenham-Jones, Jo Thomas, journalist, Judy Astley, Katie Fforde, Kent, literature, Morgan Bailey, Morgen Bailey, non-fiction, novelist, novels, Plain Jane, speaker, story author, story authors, Thanet, TV applications, TV show, Wannabe, Wannabe a Writer, WordPress, writing, writing magazines, writing TV show

Plain Jane 111013: Woe of Student Finance on deadline

I AM on a deadline or three. There’s a scarily half-done manuscript to deliver, and articles needed sooner.

I have bills to pay, e-mails to answer, research to complete, phone calls to make, appointments I can’t cancel and the prospect of two days away working, starting tomorrow. And if I don’t send this column off very soon I’ll have the lovely Ed wanting to know if I’m still alive.

But the monster at the top of my stress list consists of three piles of paper I glance at with trepidation, resentment and rage.

They represent an ongoing battle that has lasted two years and has at least another two to go. If the path of true love never runs smoothly, then let me tell you it has nothing on the trajectory of Student Finance.

This inefficient, ridiculous, ill-thought-out white elephant of an organisation is the bane of my life. But before I tell you why it should make you very cross too, even if you are never likely to wave a student off to university, may I just extend hugs to any parents who have.

When I first read Joanna Trollope’s Second Honeymoon – a novel about empty-nests – it was 2007 and my son was 14. What a lot of fuss, I thought, about your child leaving. When the same novel was serialised on Radio Four in 2011, I had to turn the volume down before I fell in a heap.

If you too are feeling bereft, you have my sympathies, and for finding your way through the maze of the finance application process my sincere congratulations. Talk among yourselves for a moment while I do my deep breathing.

I know we are not the average family. My husband has more than one pension, I am self-employed. My income comes from a quirky patchwork of sources. My son chose to change universities after the first year.

But even if we deserve to supply the same information I’ve already given twice about what I didn’t earn two years ago, the system must still be costing the tax-payer a fortune.

I have lost count of the number of times we’ve received a letter asking for a form I’ve already sent because there’s a three week backlog on the processing. “Ah yes,” says the helpful chap I eventually speak to after all the business with my customer number, and pin and security question and some music, “the computer did that – just ignore it.”

We’ve got a dozen such missives – tot up the cost of paper, envelope, postage, printing and then multiply that all over the country. Hasn’t anyone thought to adjust the software?

On one memorable occasion I had to request figures from the tax office, which I sent to Student Finance, so, as a different chap explained, they could be sent back to where they came from, to be verified. “Do you think this is the best possible system?” I asked. He laughed nervously. No, he didn’t really, but that’s how they did it.

I have never run a government department but even I can see at least a dozen ways in which the process could be simplified to save money. And if you spent an afternoon getting through the Fort Knox of security on the website and then making three separate applications, so would you.

UCAS knows which students have gone where, the universities know who they’ve got registered and what the fees are. HM Revenue & Customs know how much I’ve earned (not enough) for the last three years. Couldn’t these bodies possibly share? Couldn’t applicants on year two, just make a simple declaration that “nothing has changed”?

If Student Finance had a policy of only demanding information that wasn’t already logged somewhere else, they would save a rain forest, hours of telephone time, and enough money, I’m sure, for quite a few hospital beds or some care for the elderly.

And I, meanwhile, could put 72 sheets of paper in the recycling bin with good riddance and finally finish my book…

Filed under: articles, Isle of Thanet Gazette, non-fiction, Plain Jane, writing Tagged: author, blogging, books, characters, creative writing, ebooks, isle of thanet, Isle of Thanet Gazette, Jane Wenham-Jones, journalist, Kent, literature, Morgan Bailey, Morgen Bailey, non-fiction, novelist, novels, Plain Jane, speaker, story author, story authors, Thanet, TV applications, TV show, Wannabe, Wannabe a Writer, WordPress, writing, writing magazines, writing TV show

Plain Jane 270913: I flew to Manchester via Amsterdam and I’m not sorry

LAST week, much to the consternation of the local bloggers, I flew to Manchester. Via Amsterdam.

Yes, I got on a plane at Manston, landed at Schipol, walked through the airport and got on another plane and alighted at Manchester, ready to start work the next day at Event City, giving workshops for the Woman’s Weekly Live Show.

You would think I had eaten a couple of live kittens or broiled my grandmother. I am utterly unrepentant but were I into justification, I might explain that I chose this method of travel because it cost much the same as, and possibly less than, (depending on what time of day I had let that particular form of transport take the strain), the intercity, and, despite the protestations of local blog king Eastcliff Richard (never one to let the facts get in the way of a good story) took much the same length of time.

While saving me the bother of dragging two suitcases up and down escalators between St Pancras and Euston and on and off locomotives, and finding somewhere to stash them once aboard.

It also meant I was proffered wine and little salty biscuits in my seat, instead of having to fight my way to a buffet car, and got to gaze down at the clouds.

But most of all, and my main reason for doing it, I got to sample the delights of using my local airport again and flying KLM – and what a thorough joy both turned out to be.

The staff at Manston are lovely – cheery and polite and helpful beyond the call. When we started boarding, the nice chap from the café actually came over and decanted my unfinished jasmine tea into a lidded polystyrene cup, so I could take it with me. Would that happen at Gatwick?

Check-in is speedy, security ditto, and the whole business of changing planes at Schipol is made smooth and easy.

The KLM staff are also lovely and the whole operation slick (I particularly liked the tulip, clog and bicycle embossed on their plastic cups).

But the best bit as always, is in coming back. Instead of queuing for half an hour at passport control, having a domestic about who was supposed to remember where the car was parked and then spending an hour and a half (if you’re lucky and there are no hold-ups) on the M25, one whizzes straight through the checks (there were no fewer than three officers on duty when I came back) and by the time one has walked round the corner, there is one’s suitcase ready for collection.

The boy picked me up (his driving lessons were one of the best investments I ever made) and I was home in my kitchen in under half-an-hour from touchdown?

What’s not to like? Ah yes, of course, silly me.

Yawn. I have never quite been forgiven for quipping (yes, sad people, that was a J-O-K-E) some years ago, that the anti-airport protesters were selfish and what about my holidays?

I do have sympathy if you are such a light sleeper that a plane wakes you up (could you take less water with it perhaps?) and if that plane happened to be right over your head at 3am. But the KLM flights do not leave in the middle of the night and if you stopped carping long enough to just try the whole Manston experience next time you need to fly you’ll be a convert, I promise.

In the meantime, please don’t be tedious about my carbon footprint. If you want to save the planet, direct your attention to entreating the cows to keep their methane to themselves or have a word with China. Or save your energies for next time. I’m flying to France on Friday.

And I’m not sorry about that either.

Filed under: articles, Plain Jane Tagged: author, blogging, books, characters, creative writing, ebooks, isle of thanet, Isle of Thanet Gazette, Jane Wenham-Jones, journalist, Kent, literature, Morgan Bailey, Morgen Bailey, non-fiction, novelist, novels, Plain Jane, speaker, story author, story authors, Thanet, TV applications, TV show, Wannabe, Wannabe a Writer, WordPress, writing, writing magazines, writing TV show

Plain Jane 130913: Maturity has its reward, thank heavens

For those of you gagging to read my Isle of Thanet Gazette column without having to shell out 80p, here it is, hopefully better late than never.

Because I was up against deadline, there was only time for a fleeting mention of the Books Are My Bag campaign – I went to the fab launch in Foyles last minute, the night before – but this does not mean I don’t feel passionately about it.  A stroke of pure bloody genius from Gail Rebuck and Maurice Saatchi if I may say so, so hurrah for both. Bookshops are the last bastion of a civilised society. Use ‘em or lose ‘em and wear your bag with pride. (After seeing this photo I will put mine OVER my head next time).

***

GOOD news. There was I, thinking I was already middle-aged and it turns out I still have a way to go.

A study commissioned by Benenden Health has concluded that middle age begins at 53, not 41 as previously thought. Well hurrah for that – as if it really matters.

I am all for the old-as-you-feel school of ageing and as long as I don’t actually look in the mirror, I can spend whole days convinced I remain in the first flush of youth.

And now I have read the list of criteria that decides whether one is over the hill, have decided that either I really am still young, or I was, in fact, old before my time.

I am pleased to report that I do not yet need an afternoon nap, or groan when I bend down, complain about my stiff joints, or prefer a night in with a board game to a night on the town (as long as the night out isn’t too noisy and I can sometimes sit down!).

Nor have I sprouted hairy ears. I wouldn’t dream of taking a flask anywhere – unless it was of the hip variety – I garden less, rather than more, than I used to, and the Antiques Road Show still leaves me cold.

On the other hand, I have been listening to Radio Two all my life and have been enjoying the Archers since I was 25.

I always did lose my car keys, forget people’s names and avoided heels if I could, because they’re uncomfortable.

I do carry tissues because the possibly dire consequences of not doing so was drummed into me at an early age and I would hyperventilate if there weren’t 35 crumpled ones at the bottom of my handbag and more in my pocket.

I think I’m pretty good with modern technology though my son, snatching the remote control with a “Why are you so useless, Mum?” begs to differ.

Which just goes to show how thoroughly meaningless these studies are. Especially as teachers and policeman ARE young these days, aren’t they? And there IS a lot of rubbish on the TV…

ONE of the benefits of getting a little longer in the tooth is that one tends to care less about what other people think.

I confess to being mystified by reports that mothers these days plan their “going back to school” outfits some weeks in advance and spend an average of £84 on their appearance in readiness for the five minutes in which they will be on show, dropping their little darlings at the playground gates.

Good luck to you, if you managed the return in an aura of cool glamour.

In our house we were usually too busy playing hunt-the-tie to worry about whether I was dressed, let alone what the label on my handbag said, or if I’d had a manicure.

And the only time there was any specific financial outlay involved was when I happened to have bought some new pyjamas.

WHAT you do care about as you gently mature, I find, is proper shops.

This week saw the launch of the Books Are My Bag campaign, led by ad man Maurice Saatchi and top publisher Gail Rebuck, and set up to celebrate, nurture and save the nation’s book stores, which have been closing, rather shockingly, at the rate of one a week for the last ten years.

This brilliant plan involves the nation’s readers to show their support by carrying the nifty orange Books Are My Bag tote, wherever they go.

Pick yours up tomorrow (Saturday) from Waterstones at Westwood Cross. But set out early if you’re slower than you used to be – they’ll be going fast.

www.booksaremybag.com

Filed under: articles, Isle of Thanet Gazette, non-fiction, Plain Jane, writing Tagged: author, blogging, books, Books are my bag, characters, creative writing, ebooks, Gail Rebuck, isle of thanet, Isle of Thanet Gazette, Jane Wenham-Jones, journalist, Kent, literature, Maurice Saatchi, middle-age, Morgan Bailey, Morgen Bailey, non-fiction, novelist, novels, Plain Jane, speaker, story author, story authors, Thanet, TV applications, TV show, Wannabe, Wannabe a Writer, Waterstones, WordPress, writing, writing magazines, writing TV show

Part Two is here! :-)

Reblogged from The Wannabe a Writer TV Show:

Yes - here is part two of the Wannabeawriter TV show and I so hope you enjoy it. Please leave a comment, please tell your friends, and if you fancy being on a future programme then do fill in the application form. :-)

Thank you again for all the great comments and enthusiasm we've received so far - we are hugely grateful.

Read more… 45 more words

A quickie to say please do watch part two and let me know what you think. Proper blog post next time... xx

Plain Jane 280813: Everyone has a book in them…

THEY say everyone’s got a book in them and I say: Sometimes it should stay there!

The explosion of ebooks and self-publishing has made everybody a potential author but I can’t help wishing a few more aspiring scribes would realise their limitations.

I sing in the bath, I grumble, when invited to propound on the subject, but I wouldn’t expect you to pay to listen to it… In other words, I offer sagely, just because we can write, it doesn’t mean we can write…

But oh my goodness, I tell you now, revising my jaded outlook in the light of recent experience, some of you can!

Bank Holiday Monday saw the fourth Ramsgate’s Got Writing Talent competition – a regular favourite on the Ramsgate Arts’ Summer Squall programme – and wot a lot of talent turned up.

Arriving to lead the morning workshop in the ever-fab Royal Temple Yacht Club, I was almost disappointed not to be greeted by the green-ink user, the all-publishers-are-locked-in-a-conspiracy-against-me brigade and the person penning their autobiography even though they have lived a life of monumental dullness and cannot string a sentence together.

Instead I was met by a group of very good writers indeed, all brimming with ideas and able to express them.

“There is always one” is a maxim among creative writing tutors, but he (it is often a he!) wasn’t there either. What was going on? What we did have, come the afternoon when the novel-openings were presented, were two new judges this year: local playwright Steven Todd and the Turner Contemporary’s marketing officer Bryony Bishop (who also boasts a background in publishing and the splendidly-conceived “Book Share” at Fort’s Cafe in Margate – I like Fort’s!) were a veritable fount of wisdom, along with old hand Rebecca Smith, our very own editor of this very paper (always a fun addition to any proceedings, never mind the bar bill).

Needless to say, they had their work cut out to pick a winner but warm congrats to runners up Lucy Bonita Harris and Nick Gore (two new and impressive young writers whose words made the hair stand up on my arms), Ally Carr and overall winner Katerina Pritzakis – who has the unrivalled joy of a “literary lunch” with me and others to look forward to. It was a great and uplifting experience to hear you all. Thank you.

THEY also say you can’t write if you don’t read, and I would concur entirely.

Never Complain, Never Explain, is a fine mantra so I shall contain myself to merely making a small observation.

It is an odd thing that those who rail most vociferously against this column are usually the ones who appear to have read it least!

My offering a fortnight ago, in which I praised the hard work and efficiency of the post-Folk-Week efforts of the waste and cleansing team, gave rise to six Facebook messages, an e-mail and a phone call from one outraged reader and a staggering 25 admonishments on Twitter plus a further e-mail, from another.

What was notable in both cases (leaving aside the amount of time on their hands) was that they had spectacularly misinterpreted my point! It made me think wistfully of the era before social media, in which it is all too easy to fire off an ill-argued, barely-literate rant, when a regular correspondent known fondly to all at Gazette Towers, simply as ANON, would go to the trouble of addressing an envelope and purchasing a stamp in order to upbraid me.

She would enclose the column, carefully cut from the newspaper, with her verdict succinctly expressed, by hand, along the top. “What a load of rubbish,” was a favourite.

Ah – those were the days. I miss her still.

*Last year’s winner of Ramsgate’s Got Writing Talent appears in a pilot TV Show with Jane. See www.wannabeawritertvshow.com.

Filed under: articles, events, Isle of Thanet Gazette, novels, Plain Jane, writing Tagged: author, bank holiday monday, blogging, books, characters, creative writing, ebooks, isle of thanet, Isle of Thanet Gazette, Jane Wenham-Jones, journalist, Kent, literature, Morgan Bailey, Morgen Bailey, morning workshop, non-fiction, novelist, novels, Plain Jane, Ramsgate's Got Talent, Rebecca Smith, royal temple yacht club, speaker, story author, story authors, summer squall, Thanet, TV applications, TV show, Wannabe, Wannabe a Writer, WordPress, writing, writing magazines, writing TV show