Jane Wenham-Jones's Blog, page 20

Slacker

Am all behind on this blogging lark – as I am on so many things – but I have a small array of excuses. Been away in Manchester doing workshops for Woman’s Weekly at their live show and  London where I’ve been recording a podcast with lovely Sue Cook of Write Lines as part of National Short Story Week.  As I had one one foot out of the hotel door, when writing this, clever Morgen is going to post this up and do the twiddly bits as she so often does and I’ve been writing things for other people’s blogs too. Thank you Vanessa O’Loughlin for this one.

I shall try to do better once I get to France – still one last place left. Remember the ever-wonderful Katie Fforde is coming too – and hot off the press there’ll be a session with agent David Headley – so if you know anyone…

In the meantime I leave you with my latest piece of fan mail, left on Thanetonline blog and relating to the Isle of Thanet Gazette where I am one of the two  mentioned – guess which?  ”When will they appoint a professional editor and sack those two whinging columnists … the alcoholic obsessed novelist and the grumpy old git?” (I presume he means “alcohol-obsessed” but still entertaining all the same )

More soon…. xx

Filed under: events, fiction, humour, novels, writing Tagged: David Headley, Jane Wenham-Jones, Katie Fforde, Morgen Bailey, National Short Story Week, Sue Cook, Thanet Gazette, Vanessa O'Loughlin, Woman's Weekly, Write Lines

If it’s good enough for Harry….

Of course he was pictured in the Sun with his kit off and I’ve only made Writers’ Forum (and am still wearing a laptop)  but it I’m just thinking that  if I get a fraction of the hits that the 3rd In Line got when he appeared Online in the altogether, it could mean “going viral” (in the eager readers all around the world pressing that forward button rather than the antibiotic sense) and can only be good for my “career” . (The rather grand term I occasionally use when not sure how best to describe the motley collection of writing jobs I undertake in a vain attempt to earn a crust.)

The funny thing is that while I I remember answering a lot of questions for Anita Loughrey who so kindly set up this interview,  I have no recollection of sending her the photo. I can only imagine wine had been taken!

But now it’s “out there” I can tell you the painting is by Brian Homewood  and when I get near a scanner I’ll post the tale of how it all came about (as told to Woman’s Weekly). In the meantime, clever Morgen – blog mistress extraordinaire is going to post this for me from the student kitchen at the NAWG Festival while I get my frock on before dinner.  I am the after-dinner speaker – God help ‘em – so  had better not wear tracksuit bottoms) and Barry (I trust!) gets the bloody wine open…







Filed under: books, fiction, interview, novels, writing

A quickie for Thanetians

Or anyone within distance of. Just flagging up tomorrow’s excitement – RAMSGATE’S GOT WRITING TALENT – the annual literary bunfight that could win you lunch with ME (plus a couple of other local good eggs) and an intro to a literary agent. For more details see HERE  (bloody peculiar photo I grant you) or read my column in today’s Isle of Thanet Gazette (to which there ought to be a web link but to which there usually isn’t – don’t get me started).

Anyway it’s a bit of fun with a great prize and a workshop from me – all for a tenner. Comment below if you want any more details. Happy Friday! jxx

Filed under: writing

Room for a little one…

Room, indeed, for two little ones – or even two quite big ones (bedroom sizes generous).

Due to a cancellation, there are now a couple of places available at the fabulous Chez Castillon, where I am teaching “Is there a book in you?” in October. And I can’t tell you how lovely it is! (The place, not necessarily the tome lurking within, but we can work on that). Full details here.

The food is fab, the wine flows, the sun shines and I’ll be there (see footnote)… What’s not to like?

My entirely impartial verdict:

������Worth selling your body or breaking  the piggy bank for. 

footnote 1  and the lovely Katie Fforde will be there too. Your chance to share a dinner table  with a mega-selling novelist. We might even persuade her to sing. See here.

Filed under: books, events, novels, writing Tagged: Chez Castillon, creative writing, events, France, Jane Wenham-Jones, Katie Fforde, writer's retreat, writing a novel, writing course

Hot tips for Writers – am in the spotlight with Writer’s Choice

The nice people at Writer’s Choice have put me in their ‘spotlight’. Thank you PDR!

If there’s nothing much on TV, you can read it here: Interview with Jane Wenham-Jones.

Hot tips for writers everywhere….

(NB wasn’t my idea to add salt – was dead serious. Esp about number 10 )

Filed under: books, events, interview, review, writing Tagged: author, books, interview, Jane Wenham-Jones, literature, novels, spotlight, Writer's Choice, writing

Greetings from (not-so) sunny Swanwick…

Actually it has been sunny but just happens to be p***ing down as I type.

I am here at the long-running Swanwick Writers’ Summer School in Derbyshire where I am teaching  ”Truth is stranger than…” which, as the  astute among you will infer, is a four-part course on writing non-fiction. No-one has walked out or fallen asleep yet. (The week, as they say, is still young).

In the meantime, I have another freebie for you. Perfect Alibis – my second novel which landed me on daytime TV and various you-will-burn-in-hell type Biblical tracts on my doormat – is available for nowt until Saturday. Download onto your kindle, or (with free Kindle app from Amazon) your ipad, PC or Mac… and please  tell all your friends.

Click on the cover, or these links to go to the Amazon.co.uk or Amazon.com stores…

More when I return to what I hope WILL be sunny Broadstairs. Back Friday in time to catch the last night of Folk Week.

Mine’s not a pint but I might manage half a strawberry cider from The Chapel. Further details of that little gem another time…

Filed under: books, events, fiction, humour, non-fiction, novels, writing Tagged: books, Broadstairs, Folk Week, free book, free eBook, Jane Wenham-Jones, literature, perfect alibis, Swanwick Writers' Summer School, writing

Feast or famine

So who saw the Horizon programme on Monday about fasting? Review of it here. Seems that arranging your life in alternate “feed” and “fast” days not only helps you lose weight (well it would, wouldn’t it) but aid longevity and gives you a fine set of blood results to boot. I am going to try it. As I have just completed 351 Feed days, today I am going to Fast. As a shift-the-lard method it appeals to me psychologically cos 1) you can stand pretty much anything if it only lasts 24 hours, 2) I do love a quick fix 3) I can feel virtuous while all around me others are stuffing their faces and getting heart disease 4) I am at the upper end of my acceptable fat zone

I am telling YOU so I have to stick to it and not cave in at 6pm and hit the wine and crisps.

In fact, one doesn’t have to totally fast – on the TV Michael Mosley had a little soup thing in the evening. I have found an Ainsley Harriott cuppa soup lurking at the back of the larder that claims to be leek. It has a sell-by of October 2008 but I expect by this evening I’ll be past caring. So far it is  eleven o’clock this morning and I am not being “a right bitch” as  confidently predicted by my son. I am smiling in a sublime (and slightly manic) fashion and drinking lots of green tea….

Please feel free to send encouragement, bracing words, etc (and possibly a box of Kettle chips I can mainline tomorrow).

Dinner tonight…..

Filed under: writing

And the winner is…

Malcolm Chisholm gets a signed copy of PRIME TIME in the books-for-comments draw. Email me your address Malcolm and the novel shall be yours. Winner picked at random by a friend by text. I’ll be honest – he picked Tony’s number first and I knew he would cos  Tony’s already bought every single one of my books – some of them twice (God Bless Tony!). So I thought we’d have two winners and asked him to choose again. Tony I am going to send you a book for a friend. Also email me please and say if you’d like to receive it direct or nominate someone to get a surprise through the post? Right that’s enough displacement for today. Back to the blank screen for me….

Have a happy Monday. Raining here. Now there’s a surprise….

Filed under: writing

Short story – Carla’s Gift

Here by popular demand (Tony said he liked it, Morgen said we could alway pop it up on the blog….) is a short story for you. See – some of us were doing raunchy long before Fifty Shades of Grey.

Carla’s Gift first appeared in Jo Good‘s QWF (Quality Women’s Fiction) back in 1997 I think, and I later resurrected it for the anthology Sexy Shorts for Christmas in 2003.

Quite funny to read it again now – my writing style has changed a bit since. And some details are a little dated. It’s all quite mild by today’s standards, of course, but it raised a few eyebrows at the time. “I didn’t find it funny,” wrote one reader, crossly. “Just embarrassing…” Hope you, dear blog follower, are made of sterner stuff…

Am in bountiful mood (ie have had my first glass of weekend wine) so  all comments will be put in a draw for a free copy of my latest novel Prime Time (or another of my books if you’ve had the good taste to buy this already) – signed and sent to you or a friend anywhere in the world.

Draw made on Monday at midday…

Hope you enjoy it – feel free to pass it on if you do!

***

Carla’s Gift by Jane Wenham-Jones

What do you say to a woman who has just had her first orgasm on the top of the multi-storey in a Ford Fiesta?

Congratulations was the word that sprang to mind but the others were strangely silent.

‘Good for you,’ I muttered to a cold shower of black looks.

I have always liked Carla. I liked her when she was married to Stuart and so I like her still. Round here, however, things are not so simple. I had witnessed a definite ripple of unease running around the circle of women I call my friends ever since Stuart walked out of 25 Arnold Drive and Carla – dry-eyed – walked out into the world and began to enjoy herself.

It was as if they feared that having gasped her way to ecstasy with her garage mechanic today, the next logical step would be tempting away their husbands. Frankly, she was welcome to mine. If she could stir Norman into producing the merest erect nipple, I’d cheerfully buy her gins all night. And quite honestly, by the look of the other lot’s assorted and spreading spouses, I thought they should be jolly grateful for any spark of enthusiasm injected there too.

Muriel, after a lot of sniffing, eventually said that Carla should be careful not to catch anything. Sylvia swallowed and did a lot of what I think the novels call, ‘dabbing one’s eyes’ with a pink tissue, before twittering on about the terrible ordeal that Carla had been through and how we were all so sorry and how she couldn’t imagine how she would cope if Roger left her, because he was such a comfort.

And I was just reflecting on the way we all just sat there, simpering, even though we knew that Roger had systematically got his podgy white leg over every barmaid the squash club had ever had, and that Carla had got totally slaughtered on champagne when Stuart had finally stopped just screwing them and had the wit to imagine he was in love and piss off, when I caught Carla’s eye and she gave me the most enormous wink.

It was then that I decided to discover her secret. For actually I’d never had an orgasm either.

Click here to read the whole story.

Filed under: books, competitions, fiction, humour, novels, romance, short stories, writing Tagged: Accent Press, fiction, free book, humour, Jane Wenham-Jones, Jo Good, Morgen Bailey, prize draw, romance, Sexy Shorts, short stories, Tony Tibbenham

Freebies and bargains …

Someone was asking somewhere – but I can’t find the comment – when Wannabe a Writer We’ve Heard Of? was going to be cheap on Kindle. Well, whoever you are, today is your lucky day. WAWWHO is a mere snip at 77p as I write and its predecessor is FREE once more. And, just as you thought you couldn’t take any more excitement, I have TEN free codes to give away – each one entitling you to a free download of PRIME TIME from itunes. Do your cups runneth over? Stick with me kids and you’ll be OK…

So – here’s how it works:

You click HERE for WAWWHO on UK and HERE  for amazon.com

And if you want a FREE download of the first Wannabe book you click HERE.

AND… if you can tweet or facebook either of these and let me know by inserting @janewenhamjones or tagging me,  I’ll pop you in a draw for the free download of Prime Time. Will pick ten at random tomorrow evening.

Later today, I’ve got a little story for you. Watch this space, as they say. Or a space very much like it….

Filed under: books, competitions, fiction, non-fiction, writing Tagged: competition, fiction, free book, Jane Wenham-Jones, Kindle, lucky day, non-fiction, Prime Time, Wannabe a Writer, Wannabe a Writer We've Heard Of? writing guides, win