Liz Everly's Blog, page 119

Oh Cum On! Are You Gonna Swallow That?!

By Elizabeth Shore

Quick – name the single most dreaded sex act according to women. A trip fantastic down the bowels of Sodom? Being asked to contort into porn-style acrobatics? Pretending to love his rancid morning breath? Nope, not even close. According to some blogs and magazine articles I’ve read, along with an informal poll of my girlfriends, it’s swallowing.

Swallowing ranks rights up there with golden showers in the turn-off department. Not that it’s tough to understand why. Consuming a substance tasting like thick, bitter sour milk in hot gushes down the throat isn’t quite the same as sipping Dom Perignon. Or, frankly, even a basic latte. But guys sure like it when we do it, so should we just suck it up (or down, as the case may be) and accommodate? Or feel guilty when we refuse? Why do some women just say “no way” while others will do it each and every time – and actually claim to LOVE the taste? To swallow or not to swallow. That is the question.

To be honest, I’m not sure I completely buy someone saying she loves the taste. I think it’s like more that she loves her lover and will swallow for him because she knows how much it means to him. Doing something for someone you love can change a lot of things – even altering the taste of his ejaculate. You view it differently because it’s his. Your man’s. Or, that’s the theory anyway. And I think to an extent it works. But still. No matter how much a gal may love her lover, his spunk just isn’t going to taste like crème anglaise.

And why do guys care, anyway? Isn’t it enough that their lady has headed south in the first place? Ahhhh …. no. Definitely not. Naturally there are a few different reasons why - and there are guys who genuinely don’t seem to care – but many of them who do care want their gals to swallow because it shows we accept them. Just as we wouldn’t love it if our man goes down on us and then runs to gargle and brush the second he’s done, he doesn’t love us spitting out his jizz. It’s kind of a whole “this is who I am” thing, and spitting a part of him out is taken as a sign of rejection.

The whole topic of swallowing isn’t covered all that extensively in romances, but when it is it’s always enjoyed. At least, I’ve never read a romance where the hero pops a wad into the heroine’s mouth and she convulses with disgust over the nasty taste. As IF. It’s easy enough to write about it in a way that sounds romantic – she’s ingesting a part of his very being or some such thing – and that’s because it IS romantic. You willingly take what your lover offers without judgment or criticism. You give him intense pleasure and accept everything about who he is. So there’s that.

Still, in spite of all the pro-swallowing rationale,  if you just can’t bring yourself to do it there are other options besides simply spitting it out. I’m speaking, of course, of the redirect. Have him come on your stomach. Or your breasts. Or, perhaps best of all – you could get yourself a homemade facial! Former Cosmopolitan Editor-in-Chief Helen Gurley Brown once famously remarked that a semen facial was excellent for the skin. You can even get one at an upscale spa. But why spend the big bucks? He’s gonna blow, and you don’t want it in your mouth, so why not give your cheeks a good schmear and see what happens?

Let us know your thoughts in the comment section below, and follow us at Lady Smut. We’re always “coming” up with interesting topics. :-)

 

 

 

 

 

Pinterest, Pinterest, OH, How I Love You

The Lady Smut team is gearing up for the release of our first book LADY SMUT’S BOOK OF DARK DESIRES (Harper Impulse), so we are getting our social media ducks in a row. Some of us our more comfortable with social media and publicity than others, but we are managing. Now we have a Facebook page, a Twitter account (@LadySmut1), and oh, my friends, we now have a Pinterest account. We’ve just started so it will grow to be even more fabulous over the next few weeks, so please keep checking back.

The thing about Pinterest is that it’s so much fun and so easy that you spend a lot of time pinning, arranging, and gazing longing at beautiful photos of the ocean, well-appointed homes, or, um, men in kilts. (Yes, I have a board called men in kilts, what can I say? Grin.) So you really need to limit yourself. Give yourself 30 minutes and stick to it—unless you have the time, then what the heck? Go for it.

But for writers, it becomes a balancing act between our writing and our social media, which is now a part of our job. Like it or not.

I’ve come up with a few Pinterest tips I’m also sharing links specially geared to writers.

 

It important to maintain a balance between publicizing your books and personal interests on Pinterest—which seems to be the key for other social media, as well. People what to think the are getting to know you. So if you love ballet or bowling, but neither has anything to do with your books, have a ballet or bowling board. This is one way to make connections with your readers. It’s more genuine than simply promoting your books.
But DO have fun while promoting your books. Think about character boards. Location boards. Research boards. And the list could go on a bit.
Get the Pinterest add on for your browser. This make it very simple to pin photos as your browse around on the web. A note about this: Please link and credit those photos as much as you can. It’s just good karma. (Besides which you don’t need a lawsuit, do you? Photographers like credit for their picture and who can blame them? ) It ‘s very simple to do the instructions are here.
Follow the people whose boards you find interesting and very often they will follow you back. You can follow just of of their boards or follow the person, which means you will see all of their boards running through your stream.
Pinterest has a great search function. You can search  for pins or for pinners. So you can place the words “sexy vampire” (which I have done) into the search box and images come up that you can choose to pin or not—and some of those pinners might be folks you want to follow.

 

I’m not an expert on Pinterest, but I’ve been on it awhile and am learning as I go. In the mean time,  I found some kick-ass blog posts on Pinterest. Check them out.

Your Writer Platform on Using Pinterest

Ideas for using Pinterest on Jane Friedman’s blog.

How Writer’s can use Pinterest on Peg Fitzpatrick’s blog.

Please don’t forget to subscribe to Lady Smut. While we spread out social media wings, remember this is our home base. You can always catch us here.

Before I let you go, today all three of the installments on my series EIGHT LAYS AROUND THE WORLD are free. This is to celebrate the release of #3, Morocco. Egypt and Morocco will be free all week. Hong-Kong just today (Amazon and it’s freebie rules!)!  This serial is more erotic than romance, just a fair warning. Enjoy!

 

Cooking Up Romance: Q&A With Elisabeth Lane

by Kiersten Hallie Krum

I was on The Twitter the other day–Surprise!–and stumbled across a convo between romance writers Jeffe Kennedy and Amy Jo Cousins and a new-to-me reviewer Elisabeth Lane. Being naturally nosy to occasionally stalkerish-lengths, I glommed in and checked out Ms. Lane’s review site. And man, am I glad I did.

Elisabeth Lane writes a unique romance novel review blog called Cooking Up Romance where she matches romance novels with recipes from her archives, cooks ‘em up, and describes the process in detail while including a review for the romance novel that inspired her in the first place. Pretty cool, right? I thought so and asked Elisabeth if she’d chat with me a bit about herself and her site.

Warning: The following interview could make you very hungry and possibly add a few pounds by association. It’s not our fault. Really.

How long have you been reading romance? Do you remember your first romance novel?

I picked up my first romance novel when I was in the 8th grade. I was reading a lot of fantasy at the time and I think I mistook a Julie Garwood novel with a kilted Highlander on the front of it for a book with magic in it. I was just too young to know any better. I don’t remember which specific novel it was, but I was hooked from then on. I read a lot of Catherine Coulter, Nora Roberts and 25 cent used Harlequins in those days.

Well, there’s magic in romance, right? Works for me! What is your cooking background? 

Honey and Wine Poached Apricots for Lisa Hendrix’s Immortal Warrior. Click on photo to buy the book!

I don’t have any formal culinary training, but I started cooking when I was 8 years old. At first it was just oatmeal, muffins, and spaghetti, but by the time I hit high school, I was setting brandy on fire and working through 25-step terrine recipes. I guess I just have an aptitude for it.

I would say so! What made you start Cooking Up Romance? Were you inspired by any particular book or event?

I started Cooking Up Romance because I had been reading a couple of other romance blogs for about six months and just loved the community I saw there. Jackie Horne’s Romance Novels for Feminists is what inspired me most. I decided that I had to start my own blog just so I’d stop writing blog posts in her comments section.

What first made you connect cooking to romance novels?

My great-grandmother was one of those stereotypical Sicilian women who would ask us when we came to visit if we’d eaten. It didn’t matter what we said, the answer was always, “I’ll just fix you a little something,” usually resulting in at least a three-course meal. I understood very early on that cooking for people was how you told them you love them. I don’t write reviews of books I didn’t enjoy so each one I do is like a public mini fan-letter.

It’s also easy for me to get into cooking ruts. I never saw a recipe with bourbon, bacon, or salted caramel I didn’t like so picking foods from books forces me to branch out. Plus, I’m a Virgo so I need structure for my creativity. Choosing a food from a book gives me lines to color in and stretches my skills when I can’t find a recipe for something I’ve come across and want to reproduce.

What has been your favorite recipe discovery so far? Are there any funny failure stories to share?

My favorite recipe thus far was probably the Nutella Crème Brulee I made for Ava Lovelace’s Lumberfox. It was the perfect combination of a food that actually appeared in the book with a twist put on it by an unrelated element of the story. Plus, Nutella Crème Brulee.

What’s not to love about that?

I used to have cooking failures all the time, particularly in the context of dating. The first time I cooked for my college boyfriend, I accidentally put a plate on a hot electric burner. When I touched the plate, it exploded and gave me a third degree burn. These days I have many fewer failures and they tend not to be quite as spectacular. Though about a year and a half ago I did ruin a pan the first time I tried to make caramel. And the second time, I caught the stove on fire. I’ve mastered that now though. I can make caramel half asleep and more than half drunk.

More than half drunk? There’s a story there for sure.

Not every book has a food theme, yet you don’t restrict your reviews to only food-related novels. What is your process for extrapolating recipes or choosing one from your archive for non-food related novels? Do you prefer/seek out food-themed novels?

The food-related books are easy. I’m working on a review for Jeffe Kennedy’s novel Ruby right now, which features the chef of a five-star restaurant. And Laura Florand’s The Chocolate Thief will be up soon too. Those two provide an embarrassment of inspiration. I could cook for weeks on those books. It’s rare that a book has no food in it at all, but for the ones that aren’t totally food-focused like those are, I can usually come up with something based on the time period or the setting. I mostly just use the books for inspiration in either case.

Today’s post, about Patricia Gaffney’s Wild at Heart, is a good example of a book with almost no food in it at all. I chose the scene where Michael gives Sydney a dead fish tied with a ribbon. I just imagined her handing it over to their cook. Since it’s a pretty high-class household, I pulled a menu from an old New York hotel’s website and settled on a standard French preparation for a white fish. So inspiration comes from all sorts of places.

What are your favorite genres? Do you have a preference?

I mostly read romance. I have a bias toward historicals, but since joining Twitter, I’ve met so many writers in other sub-genres that I just love. Even ones like New Adult and paranormals, which wouldn’t generally appeal to me, have their attractions thanks to the wonderful women I’ve met online. If I ever want to branch into M/M, for example, I know just who to ask for recommendations. Honestly, I’m like the virgin who just discovered sex: I’ve become a total sub-genre slut.  I still read fantasy too, but I’m much pickier about those and tend to confine myself to certain authors.

I learned about you on Twitter because I live there, so it was perfect to find your Twitter post and see your enthusiasm. How has Twitter and social media in general affected your reviews/blog?

I started up with Twitter at about the same time as I started the blog. It’s also how I learned about Goodreads, which has been revolutionary for me in terms of organizing my reading. I almost instantly met people like Shari Slade and Amy Jo Cousins who were crazy welcoming to the newbie. I felt like a part of the romance community straight away. Since none of my real-life friends read romance, it was awesome just to have a bunch of smart, funny, like-minded people to talk to. I was in marketing for years so it’s not like I was new to social media, but this was my first time forming anything like a real personal connection. It’s addictive! Also, great for book recommendations, as I mentioned in that post. I probably get 3 to 5 a day!

Bourbon Caramel Pecan Cinnamon Buns before…

…and after

Your photographs belong in a food magazine! They are so gorgeous and rich.* Are you an amateur photographer? How do you keep your kitchen so neat while cooking? While cooking is not my forté, I have a yen for kitchen gadgets. Do you have a favorite cooking gadget?

It cracks me up when people compliment my photos. My husband bought me a DSLR for my birthday last year so I do have a really nice camera. I also shoot with a lens that has a really shallow depth of field, which makes the backgrounds blurry. Hence why my kitchen looks clean! Basically I just wait for the sun to come out and then stand on a chair. That’s the sum total of my photographic expertise.

My husband is the only reason I ever have clean dishes. If he doesn’t come home from work to a sink full of them, he’s thinks I must be ill or something. Plus we make sure that the counters are clean and the sink is clean before we go to bed every night. It’s just a habit.

I’m not really a gadget person. I’ve internalized TV chef Alton Brown’s abhorrence for kitchen unitaskers. My favorite tools are probably my plastic Birki kitchen clogs and a little vintage brass box in the shape of a crab that holds my rings when I’m dealing with things like fish and sticky pastry dough.

Beef pasties from Elisabeth’s review of Hard Day’s Knight by Katie MacAlister, the book with which she hooked her husband on romance novels. Click on the photo to buy the book!

I loved the post of how you got your husband to read romance novels. Can you share a little more about any insight you’ve discovered now that you have a man’s perspective (and a positive one at that!) on romance novels?

My husband is a sucker for a good story and the best romance novels really deliver on that score. The only things that have annoyed him about the books he’s read are things like the character who is never seen working out having perfect abs. I think the biggest change I’ve seen is in my own reading habits. I’ve become a lot more critical of books that I previously just tore through and then forgot about. I’m very selective about what I give him and in the process, it’s made me more selective about what I read.

Food can be intensely erotic especially in romance novels. Have you ever found one particular food to have unexpected erotic qualities?

I think any food, lovingly prepared, has erotic qualities. Though things like whipped cream, chocolate-covered strawberries, champagne, and oysters have erotic caché, a grilled cheese sandwich when you’re hungry or a bowl of chicken noodle soup when you’re sick really spells true love.

Thanks to Elisabeth Lane for joining us on LadySmut! Be sure to check out Elisabeth’s amazing culinary creations and in-depth romance novel reviews on Cooking Up Romance.

 

Follow Lady Smut. We’re cooking with gas.

 

*All photographs are courtesy of Elisabeth Lane and can be seen, along with many other equally delicious images, on Cooking Up Romance.

From Point A to Point O: Don’t We Want the Longest Distance?

Sure, we’ll go north. Eventually.

By Alexa Day

I’ve seen a little more porn than usual in the news this week, and while I don’t write porn myself, I often find that porn professionals offer interesting perspectives on my own work. For instance, reading about a California measure that would require the use of condoms in porn made me think about my position on my characters’ use of condoms in my own work. (That measure, if you’re curious, is on its way to the California Senate appropriations committee. And if you’re curious, my characters use condoms where it makes sense to do so, which is all the time, for the headstrong women in my contemporaries.)

Yesterday, I read this article from former porn star Aurora Snow about what we’re willing to do for an orgasm, a moment of ecstasy that might last ten seconds if we’re lucky. Hugh Grant went to great risk for an orgasm, she writes. Charlie Sheen and Tiger Woods went to great expense for them, she says.

Well, my thought was this: Do people really have sex just for the orgasm? Certainly, sex with the climax is preferable to sex without, under most circumstances. But I suspect that even sex without climax is preferable to no sex at all.

As an erotica writer (I use this phrase so often that it’s turning into my version of “You see, Jimmy …”), writing up to the orgasm gives me far more pleasure (as a writer, you nasty person) than the orgasm itself. Lingering in foreplay is fun. Exploring the intercourse is fun, too. But the orgasm itself, as Aurora notes, doesn’t take up much space. I don’t know how much orgasm readers want to hear about, honestly. I think they want to know more about the things he says or what she’s thinking or what their respective motivations are or how all that must feel. The arrival of the orgasm says we’re almost finished with all that wonderful wickedness, doesn’t it?

I recognize and celebrate the fact that porn is a completely different art form from erotic fiction and erotic romance. I know that much of porn condenses the emotional buildup that precedes the money shot. But porn does include the sex acts leading to orgasm. I mean, somewhere out there I’m sure there exists a porno that’s wall-to-wall money shots, but it cannot be selling very well. And if porn isn’t driven by those ten seconds (if you’re lucky), then is it so unreasonable to think that the rest of us aren’t driven by the orgasm, either?

The reason this might not be true for Aurora is in the Salon story’s headline: “Performative sex is utterly different.” Porn sex is, after all, work sex. It’s part of the job. It’s not like whatever Hugh and Charlie and Tiger were doing, which I suspect had little to do with the orgasm. It’s not like what all of us, including porn stars, off set, off the clock, and on their personal beds, are doing, either. That also has little to do with the orgasm, most of the time.

It’s easy for me to say that my focus is on the journey and not the destination when I am only on the journey recreationally. Sure, I’m writing the sex professionally, but I’m not at all under the same type of performance pressure as a porn star. I can afford to take my time and not worry about the climax.

In the wide, wonderful world off the page and off the screen, I imagine there are folks out there whose only consensual sexual goal is the ten-second orgasm. I would never dream of telling those folks that they’re doing something wrong. But things can be sooooo much righter in the hours before arrival.

If you’re not following Lady Smut, now’s the time. We go on and on and on.

Sexy Saturday Round-Up

By Liz Everly and the Lady Smut Bloggers

Hello Sexy! We’ve got quite a line up for you today. Sit back, relax, and do some fascinating reading.

From Liz Everly:

Thoughtful article on the romance genre.

The Alpha-submissive. Much to think about there.

On Olivia Wilde’s ass being too nice to be a writer-ass. (WTF?) Fuck GQ!

From C. Margery Kempe:

Dilemmas every book lover has faced

The Hachette deal the media’s not telling you about

Women Listening to Men in Art History

From Elizabeth Shore:

Do yourself a huge favor and watch this amazing video. Opens the mind about why “acting like a girl” has been turned into a negative – and what we can do to stop it.

Funhouse in the Museum of Sex includes bouncing on giant inflatable breasts and climbing a wall of cocks and balls.

Naughty Soviets and their giant collection of porn.

Fan fiction goes erotic. Oooooh, that naughty Buffy!

From Madeline Iva:

Make Me Beautiful – A woman asks artists from different countries to represent their country’s idea of beauty.

Arousing facts about masturbation–a video on buzzfeed.  (44%???? WTH?)

Deadly Victorian fashions.

True tales: She was in love with a man who turned out to be *gasp* ASEXUAL!   A tale of confusion and more confusion.

Jennie Crusie gives us the nitty gritty core of just exactly what a romance story is.

From Alexa:

One woman makes serial dating sound like the adventure it should be.

Want to do a little research on your date? You’ll want to start here.

Rounding out June with literature’s most sigh-worthy proposals.

Stay Hungry,

Liz

Ten Steps to Inner Peace

Out July 22nd from Tirgearr!

by C. Margery Kempe

While most people are getting ready for their holidays or counting down to the end of classes for themselves or their children, I am doubling down on the busy as the last couple months of my sabbatical loom before me like the blades of a guillotine [just joking (not)]. This week as I’ve been picking up speed, lots of people around me have finally found the leisure to take a breather — and come up with things for me to do.

Insert grumpy face here >:-(

But don’t worry! I have tried and true ways to beat the stress and find your inner peace. So if you’re scrambling like me, just take a moment to run through these steps and see if you don’t feel better in no time.

1) Swear

It’s a well-known fact* that cursing opens up your chakras and allows you to reduce blood pressure. Directed at the source of your stress it may temporarily at least put an end to your receiving further stress.

2) Throw Tantrums

Who was that one guy who wrote that book about learning everything he needed to know in kindergarten? I rest my case.

3) Drink

Hydration is key to good mind/body balance and martinis make you witty and gay. And sometimes belligerent and arrested, but that’s by the way.

4) Meditation

Every good plan starts with mindful meditation. You cannot maintain world-domination or carry out a perfect crime if you do not meditate carefully on the detail work. Axes don’t bury themselves in skulls, people. It takes thought.

5) Letting Go

Let go of the doubts that hold you back. Let go of your pre-conceived notions of what counts as success. And when the police tell you to drop your weapons, do it.

6) Prioritise

You can’t do everything at once. Divide and conquer should be your motto. That and avoiding land wars in Asia. If you’re making a kill list, some one has to go at the top. Think carefully. Who most deserves to experience the full force of your murderous mood.

7) Know Yourself

Do you know your true self? Are you a pantser or a plotter? Introvert or extrovert? Rage-killer or cold-blooded? Axe or pistol? It will save time if you choose wisely and work to your strengths.

8) Skip anything you don’t want to do

Self-explanatory.

10) Make Lists

And then just throw them away. Or make them into blog posts. And then go have that martini.

 

Follow Lady Smut here and on Facebook. We’ll set you straight.

 

*Fact here may be read as “my considered opinion” and I am a doctor (of philosophy, sure, but what the hell do you think this is? Q.E.D.) Need I say this is all in good fun and I wouldn’t hurt a fly? Seriously, just joking. We’re only serious about our books: click on any picture to find out more.

Bad Boys of Brooklyn: Q & A with Contemporary Romance Author Robin Kaye

Book #1 in the Bad Boys of Red Hook Series. Click on photo to buy.

By Madeline Iva

I’ve relished talking to Robin Kaye this week about her BAD BOYS OF RED HOOK series.  I have a positive associations with Red Hook.  During one visit to NYC, our friend took us out to a party on a barge–a barge museum, in fact.  You could see right through the dark interior of the barge to the open side doors that led to the water beyond.  Filling that view was the Statue of Liberty staring you right in the eye.  I’ll never forget what a magical time we had that night.  

MADELINE IVA: How do you perceive the changes going on in Red Hook and how do these changes matter in your book? When I was last there, it was miles away from a subway station and it was all garages and wide open streets.  My friend said it was where the mafia dumped bodies, but I remember looking around at the garages and thinking “these would make great artists studios”.  At some point that actually started happening.

ROBIN KAYE:  Up until about ten or fifteen years ago, Red Hook was known as the crack capital of the world. It was a place you’d drive through, and even during the day, you didn’t dare stop at stop signs—it was that dangerous.

In 2005 I started writing my Domestic God’s series and set it in Park Slope (not far from Red Hook). In my explorations, I would skirt the edges of Red Hook—I love the docks and the view of the Statue of Liberty from Red Hook. If it was broad daylight, and I had my cousins or husband with me, I’d talk them into going out there. I began hearing talk about small changes being made in Red Hook, and seeing the transformation of the area whenever I visited. By about 2007, it was clear to me that the people of Red Hook were trying to make their home a safer place and decided I wanted my next series to take place there.

Click to buy story #2 in the Bad Boys of Red Hook series.

In 2008 Ikea and The Fairway Market opened in Red Hook and the movement really got some steam behind it. I pitched my series idea that year at the RWA National Conference. The last place each of my heroes wanted to return to was Red Hook, but ten years later, when they’re forced to return, they have to learn that Red Hook has changed as much, if not more, than they have.

MADELINE IVA: Your latest series is all about bad boys.  How bad does a bad boy have to be to appeal to romance readers? (Or is any amount of badness okay as long as it’s in his past?)

ROBIN KAYE: I think it’s more a matter of once a bad boy, always a bad boy—just because they change their ways doesn’t mean they’ve necessarily lost the bad boy part of them. The thing I love about writing recovering bad boys is examining their struggle with their demons. They’ve made the typical bad boy mistakes and learned from them. No matter how bad they’ve been in the past, all my bad boys have a definite moral compass that they’ve had since day one.

MADELINE IVA: What’s the specific appeal of each brother in your series?

ROBIN KAYE:  When I was coming up with characters, Storm was the first one that popped into my head. I have a great friend who is a marine architect and I find his occupation fascinating. Storm shot into my mind pretty much fully formed. I saw him as a kid who spent his early life watching the ships sail away from Red Hook—his version of hell—and wishing he could be on one of those ships. That’s why, when he was twelve years old, he stole his first boat.

The foster girl in the series gets her romance too, once she’s all grown up.

The other two foster brothers didn’t come to me as easily. I researched the gangs in the area – the Latin Kings were very big in Red Hook. I thought that if Logan had been a member, he’d have joined the gang to protect himself. He was young, small for his age, and defenseless. For Logan, knowledge was power so I made him a chemistry prodigy—he specialized in making pipe bombs. He liked watching things blow up—from a distance. When Pete began fostering Logan, Pete told Logan that he could end up in school in a lab, or in prison doing hard time. The choice was his. Thankfully, Logan chose the lab.

Slater started his criminal adventure hacking. I knew his backstory and thought about what a kid with his past would do to escape and not have to deal with people, a computer geek fit the bill. Proving to my editor that a computer nerd could be sexy was the hard part.

MADELINE IVA: You grew up with Sicilians — did you learn anything unique about romance from this colorful ethnic heritage?

ROBIN KAYE: I didn’t realize until I was about ten years old that we were different from all my friends’ families. It wasn’t just the food that I found so different—it was the way in which they lived their lives. Italian’s—especially Sicilians—eat, live, fight, and love with great passion.

My first memory of my Italian grandparents was my grandmother chasing my grandfather around the dining room table, hitting him over the head with a broom, and yelling in Italian—“May the earth open up and swallow you whole” or my other favorite, “May you die in a pool of blood!” A half hour later, we were all happily sitting around that same table, saying grace, and eating our traditional seven to ten course Sunday meal. That’s just how things were done.

Bad Boy #3 gets his own story in Back To You. Click to buy.

Whatever we Italians do, we do it with a lot of passion… and when the fever cools, it’s over, and we move on to the next thing—usually sharing a meal with great food, conversation, a few smacks upside the head, and a lot of laughter. I never saw anything like it outside my family.

MADELINE IVA: Is there anything you put into your books — a quality about your characters or a moment –that you were really scared about — but that ended up being a good move?

ROBIN KAYE:  The biggest thing I can think of was Slater’s backstory. It was soooo dark. My editor had a real problem with it. By the time I sent her the synopsis, the story was already set in my mind, I’d done the research on early childhood trauma, spoken in depth to a few therapists who specialize in it, and was eager to challenge myself as a writer. I felt it was a story that needed to be told, and that Slater’s backstory was pivotal in his character arc. I really had to sell the idea to my editor, with a bit of compromise on my part, and a lot on her part, she approved it.

I was truly afraid of my reader’s reactions to his dark history, but was so gratified when I received a letter from a reader telling me that the same thing had happened to a close friend of hers, and that she cried for both Slater and her friend.

MADELINE IVA: How does a good romance writer learn about bad boys? Ever flirt with danger back in the day?

ROBIN KAYE:  I grew up surrounded by bad boys—my father and his closest friends were, and still are, bad boys of the highest order. My parents separated by the time I was four and were divorced by the time I was six. When I spent time with my dad, I was usually with him and his bad boy friends. I spent summers in the Hamptons in a house he rented with seven of his closest friends and every other weekend with them in Manhattan (yes, they’d bring me to the bars). I was the unobtrusive kid who was always around. I had a front row seat to watch them interact with each other and their girlfriends. I was the cute toe-headed kid they’d talk into running by the hot blonde to splash sand on her. Then they’d go up to her, dust the sand off her oiled, bikini clad body and say, “Sorry, that was my kid, let me buy you a drink…” Talk about a learning experience.

Cher won an oscar for Moonstruck. Nicolas Cage played the wolf. Click on the photo to buy the DVD. Rom-com at it’s finest!

And yes, I had first hand dating experience with bad boys too. I loved my bad boys, but figured out (with the help of really good therapist) that bad boys rarely develop into men who would make good life partners. I like to say I dated every bad boy, but married a Boy Scout. I’ve come to think that dating a bad boy is akin to riding the Cyclone—the roller coaster on Coney Island. It is great fun for a while, but I don’t want to live on it. I’ve been married to my nice, steady, very even-keeled Boy Scout for almost twenty-five years and have never regretted getting off the roller coaster.

MADELINE IVA: What IS the allure of Brooklyn that holds on to you even though you’ve lived in so many other places?

ROBIN KAYE: Brooklyn is constantly changing, but the people haven’t changed—they seem to have the same no-holds-barred way of living. I’ve moved more than thirty five times and I’ve lived in seven or eight states but Brooklyn is the one place on this earth I feel most at home and that feeling is one I cherish.

Writing about Brooklyn—the good, the bad, and the ugly—helps curb my homesickness. When that’s not enough, I throw my copy of Moonstruck in the DVD player. If you turn the wattage way down on my family, the family in the movie is the closest representation I’ve ever found to mine. LOL

Thanks Robin! Readers, find out more about Robin Kaye at her website HERE. And follow Lady Smut with the button to your right.  

Walking On The Guy Side And Other 21st Century Questions Of Chivalry

By Elizabeth Shore

I was walking down a city street recently with a male friend. He was on the interior side of the sidewalk, closest to the buildings, and I was on the outside, closest to the street. When I noticed how we were situated I asked, somewhat jokingly, whether we should switch so that he could be on the “guy side” of the sidewalk. His response was a puzzled stare before asking what I meant.

I’ve always assumed – naively, as it turns out – that everyone knows what the guy side of the sidewalk is. But when I explained to my friend that it’s the side closest to the street, theoretically so the man can protect his female companion from the danger of traffic, he confessed that he’d never before heard of it. Say what?!

Interestingly enough, a few weeks ago I was in a similar situation with a work colleague and he himself moved around me and said something about needing to be on the guy side. This at least reassures me that I’m not making the whole thing up.

These recent interactions about the guy side of the sidewalk bring to mind the age ol’ question about chivalry and whether or not it’s dead. But as I’m pondering the issue, I find myself wondering if the better question might be how we’re nowadays defining it.

I oftentimes find myself seeing blurred lines between chivalry and simple politeness. I’ll hold a door open for a guy just as he does for me. At the same time, because I’m in NYC and am on elevators all the time, I’m well aware that guys generally let women step into the elevator before they do. And to be honest, it would seem a little weird to me for that one to be reversed. So is that the distinction? If the gesture is reciprocated it’s polite; if not, it’s chivalrous? A guy holds a chair out for you at a restaurant. Would be weird to do that for him, no? So are chair holding and elevator etiquette chivalrous?

There are some women who feel that any gestures from men that were once considered chivalrous should now be shunned. We’ve made our way up in the world by hard work, courage, and a whole lotta determination. Financially, we’re still making less than the guys, but we’re doing OK so we can buy our own drinks, thank you very much. Well, yeah, I can. But …

There are some things that, frankly, I just like when guys do them. For example, being sensitive to the presence of women during social conversation. Hey, I write erotic romance so I’m no prude. Yet, I don’t want to be “one of the guys” and guffaw at their tit and pussy jokes like I’m standing in their locker room. I’m cool with having them tone it down when I’m around.

In the end, call it chivalry, call it politeness, or call it simple respect for our gender. I think it’s just really nice to be treated like a lady.

If you like that, too, be sure to follow us. After all, our first name is Lady.

 

Guest Post: Isabelle Drake, the Nicer Side of Naughty

A note from Liz Everly: When I was at Book Expo America, I stopped by the Ellora’s Cave booth, of course. Author Isabelle Drake (love her tag line “the Nicer Side of Naughty”) was there and we struck up a conversation. I think she definitely fits right in here at Lady Smut and I’m glad she said yes to a guest post.

Take it away Isabelle!

 

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BDSM, ménage, bad boys….I love these as much as the next reader. But as I writer, I know that sometimes I need bring something new to erotic romance readers. A little while ago, I was questing for something new and on top of my to-be-considered list was cuckolding. At that time, I didn’t know that much about the cuckold lifestyle, just the commonly known bit that it involved sex outside a marriage.

I started doing some research and was surprised by what I found. Cuckold culture challenges the mainstream notion that women don’t need sex. It also challenges the common belief that women, unlike men, can’t enjoy sex for sex’s sake. That is, women can’t get physical pleasure from sex in a non-committed relationship. Anything that goes against mainstream culture interests me

Here are a couple things I discovered about cuckolding:

Typically, the husband is aware of the wife’s “cheating” and often arranges, or participates in arranging, the lover. He may also be in control of what happens, including frequency and number of partners.
A “cuckold husband” may take pride in his wife’s sexuality and in his ability to manage his “hotwife.”
Wearing an ankle bracelet on the right ankle indicates that a woman is a hotwife.

Why do people do it?

Cuckold husbands are aroused by the idea of, or by actually witnessing, his wife having sex with another man. One theory that seeks to explain this proposes the idea that men are motivated by competition and the cuckold husband, knowing that he is in competition with another man to sexually satisfy his wife, feels an intensified his passion for her.
Hotwives are sexually empowered and, if new to the scene, often experience a sexual reawakening. One biologically-oriented theory states because women, unlike men, experience orgasm in a variety of ways women need variation to be truly satisfied physically. Due to this variation in ways of arousal and satisfaction, women naturally prefer multiple partners who will be able to satisfy them in multiple ways.

Intrigued?

Check out “The Intellectual Sex Fetish” by Anneli Rufus on The Daily Beast. The article offers some insights as well as some resources for more information. And the comments, to me, show that this is an intense topic that tempts judgment.

Ready for some fantasy?

After all that research, I was. Having spoken with readers, writers, and well, pretty much anyone who was interested, about the cuckold lifestyle, I understood it was a controversial topic. I’m not one to shy away from controversy. My challenge was to take everything I’d learned about cuckolding and the cuckold lifestyle and weave it into a romantic and satisfying story.

The Pink Bow, Book 1 in my Cuckold Beach series, focuses on the wife, showing how her husband is rewarded for encouraging her natural sexuality. Wicked Pink, Book 2, answers the question, why would a man want to be the lover of another man’s wife.

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Here’s a description of the Cuckold Beach series:

On a sizzling stretch of California beach, devoted husbands are dedicated to satisfying their wives’ deepest desires. They’ll do whatever it takes to bring intimacy and ecstasy to the women they love…even if it means giving their wives to other men…while they watch.

And a bit about The Pink Bow ~ #1 in the Cuckold Beach series:

Abby is a very naughty girl. Hornier than your average housewife. And she’s certain she’s done a good job of hiding it from Troy. But like any dutiful husband, not only has Troy noticed the intensity of Abby’s sex drive—he plans to exploit it.

In a luxurious house on the beach, where couples gather to privately enjoy a taste of sexual freedom, Abby’s about to experience the hottest gift a husband can give.

LINKS

Links to buy:

Ellora’s Cave: http://www.ellorascave.com/the-pink-bow.html

Amazon: http://www.amazon.com/The-Pink-Bow-Cuckold-Beach-ebook/dp/B00KQLPL5C

ARE: https://www.allromanceebooks.com/product-thepinkbow-1543660-356.html

Barnes & Noble: http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/the-pink-bow-isabelle-drake/1119677676?ean=9781419943225

Kobo: http://store.kobobooks.com/en-US/ebook/the-pink-bow

Social Media:

Web: http://www.isabelledrake.com/

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/pages/Isabelle-Drake/262135373800722?ref=hl

Twitter: @isabelledrake

Pinterest: http://www.pinterest.com/isabelledrake/

isabelle@isabelledrake.com

When Feet of Clay Crack

by Kiersten Hallie Krum

Author Amy Jo Cousins wrote a post this week on the fantastic Wonk-o-mance blog called When Heroes Fall about her great disappointment in learning the dark behaviors and/or beliefs of writing idols, admired authors whose works had greatly impacted her life along with her writing. It’s an excellent if open-ended exploration of whether it’s possible to separate the work from the creator and if the impact of those works on our personal lives is depleted by the realization of the author’s flawed and possibly criminal behavior and philosophies.

As I nodded along while reading, I thought about the nature of “idols” especially in a culture suffused with the veneration of celebrities to the exclusion of others more worthy of admiration. For every grassroots meme from Think Progress or even Buzz Feed about regular being amazing, there’s a gazillion posts about Kardashians and “housewives”. Idolizing people is part human nature, part cultural indoctrination. We’re a media-crazed culture where five-minutes of fame is enough to last a lifetime and a good PR team can reboot anyone’s smeared career. But there’s a big difference between Robert Downey, Jr. admirably getting his life together after jail and rehab and the long-term child abuse allegations leveled against the recently deceased Marion Zimmer Bradley, of which Cousins writes so eloquently. (I use “alleged” for legality reasons, not to cast doubt on the victim’s statements.) And let’s be honest, were RDJ to relapse, how many would publicly rally to his side?

Social media comports the issue too as platforms like Twitter (come on, you knew that, with me, it had to come back to Twitter at some point) create a false intimacy that make those we “worship” appear to be our very best friend evah. Yet those platforms also humanize and reduce the size of the pedestal on which we raise them to an arguably dangerous degree.

I’m not a huge fan of Bradley’s novels, but The Mists of Avalon was a game-changing book of its time and continues to have resonance and impact today. Would we have The Red Tent without Bradley’s first retelling of the Arthurian mythology from the women’s perspective? Perhaps not. Do her alleged crimes negate the lasting impact of that novel? I’d be hard pressed to believe anyone could read it now without being influenced but the work likely still stands. I remember my disappointment when I learned about the fraudulent crimes of romance writer Meagan McKinney. McKinney was one of the writers whose work inspired me to pursue a romance writing career. That influence isn’t negated by the revelations of her illegal actions. I’ve loved McKinney’s books for a long time—I still have the original copies of many of them that I bought in the 90s. The pleasure I take in those stories is about the emotional resonance of the characters and plot, not the dubious activities of their creator. Sure, when I re-read them, I’ll no doubt linger over the memory of her crimes, but that won’t change how much I like Lions and Lace, When Dawn Tames the Night, The Ground She Walks Upon...

Great things have been accomplished by people who were inspired by their idols who themselves achieved great things. But with all the gloss and glamour, it’s easy to forget they’re flawed, complex people whose public image may hide terrible things. It’s easy to lose sight of the fact that all idols have feet of clay just waiting for the wrong moment to crack.

Follow Lady Smut. We may have feet of clay, but at least they’re covered with fabulous shoes.