Liz Everly's Blog, page 115
August 11, 2014
Pushing Through
by Kiersten Hallie Krum
Some people think writer’s block is a myth and if you just get up and push through it, the block will resolve itself. You respect it and work with it even when you’d rather crawl back into bed give up on your dreams because today, it’s just too damn hard. But powering through isn’t always enough.
The view isn’t much different from up here.
One of the most whackadoodle imaginings of writer’s block is found in the movie Stranger Than Fiction where Emma Thompson’s is a bestselling writer way past her deadline and struggling with writer’s block. What work she has done is the story of a sad-sack IRS auditor, played by Will Ferrell, who is a real-life man who hears Emma Thompson’s voice narrating his life all the way up to his death. Queen Latifah is brought in to get Emma Thompson back on schedule and as she begins to write again, Will Ferrell’s life continues to unravel.
I don’t have writers block (at the moment) and as far as I know, zero influence over the life of any IRS agent. But I do worry–frequently–about running out of ideas or that I’m merely repeating lines and scenes I’ve already written somewhere else. A glance at my Twitter stream of writers tells me this fear doesn’t go away for most. Universally, there’s seems to be only one solution.
Push through.
There’s so much great information that came out of July’s Romance Writer’s of America National Conference. Tidbits, game plans, statistics, encouragement, magic pills, naked cowboys. Though I didn’t attend this year, I kept a close eye on the social media chatter, often picking up repeated bits of advice that clearly resonated with many. It’s always good to get your double Ds charged with a refresher course even a vicarious one. But it’s also overwhelming and even from a distance can just as easily make you feel as though you’re not doing enough social networking or self-publishing or you don’t have a business plan or a marketing strategy. It’s hard under all that feeling inadequate to remember we really only have the one job: push through to write the best damn book you can. No one but you can do that.
One of the axioms repeatedly passed along was this quote from Nora Roberts from her Q&A at RWA Nationals this year (which I now have on my desktop):
Some might find that to be a merciless line, one that doesn’t take into account how life happens. But it’s often just the smack upside the head I need. Pushing through to finish writing CATCH ME took an act of active will. It only came to pass by me reminding myself moment by moment of another of La Nora’s famous sayings, one I heard in person, “I can fix shit; I can’t fix nothing.”
Sometimes, the writing flows like a newly tapped faucet.
Sometimes, we’re just writing shit so we can fix it later.
And sometimes we get to give things away! Congratulations to commenters Heather L. and rysalkabr! You’ve each won a copy of Victoria Dahl’s Looking for Trouble. Please send me your email addresses at kiersten@kierstenkrum.com and we’ll get those to you! Thanks for leaving a comment on Lady Smut!
Follow Lady Smut. We always push through.
August 10, 2014
Is Forewarned Forearmed?
Halt! Do you have your flame-retardant underpants ready?
By Alexa Day
As a lawyer, I live with a certain amount of disillusionment toward the garden variety warning sign. To explain why, let’s take just a second to look at our hair dryers. If yours looks anything like mine, there’s a tag around the power cord. On one side, you’ll find a dire warning, in all caps with lots of exclamation points, that says not to remove the tag. On the other side, you’ll find a list of rather self-evident warnings. Among them is the admonition not to use the hair dryer while bathing.
Why do we need a warning not to use the hair dryer while bathing? Leaving aside the fact that it makes little logistical sense to use a hair dryer during a process that typically results in wet hair, do we need to be told that this sort of behavior is the short route to electrocution?
Maybe. But that’s not why we have a warning label there.
The truth is that the world is full of people who will blow dry their hair in a tub full of water. That’s always been the case, and it probably isn’t going to change. Those people are going to keep drying their hair in the bath, no matter what we tell them to do or not to do. The warning label isn’t for those people. It’s for people who want to use the dryer in the bath and then blame someone else, like the company that made your dryer, for the inevitable results. The warning protects the company in the resulting lawsuit; essentially, it says, “See? We told you not to do that.”
Now, I’m not going to argue that the warning labels I’ve seen on romance novels serve the same purpose. I will say that they’re not around because people actually need to be warned about the content of their books.
I don’t want to use anyone’s real warning labels here, and I don’t use them myself. But if I were going to make one up off the top of my head, it might sound like this:
Warning: This book contains one kick-ass bounty hunter, one fugitive alpha male, one very open-minded pleasure robot and lots of very, very hot pursuit! Make sure you’ve got your asbestos panties on!
Yeah, that bothers me for a couple of reasons, not counting the asbestos panties.
First of all, I know how sharp you all are. So I know that you already know that the book is hot. No doubt it has a hot cover. It’s hanging out on a website with a boatload of other hot books, or on a shelf with some other hot books. So I don’t think you need a warning to tell you that the book is hot.
Second, I know you all read the blurb as you made the decision to buy or not buy our example book. You probably had to read it to get to the warning. So I know that you already know about the bounty hunter and the fugitive and the pleasure robot. You already know, or at least strongly suspect, that things are going to get sexual with the three of them. You do not need to be told about that stuff again, either.
Finally, anything else that might go into the warning can only serve to give away parts of the book that I think you’d rather discover by yourselves. When are a bounty hunter and a fugitive going to find time for sex? How is our robot friend involved? There will be a threesome, won’t there?
That curiosity is the fuel that drives you to buy or pass, right? So isn’t it better not to have all the answers on this end?
I imagine some people started with the warnings because they were genuinely concerned that readers would be shocked by their content. I’m not sure we need to worry about that. Between the blurb, the cover, and the excerpts, shouldn’t readers should have a pretty good idea of what’s in the book?
And how easily shocked are readers these days anyway? I like to think we’re all down for anything, but are we?
It’s possible I’m a little (or a lot) jaded. Maybe there’s actually less to these warnings than meets my eye, and they’re just a little touch of fluff designed to whet the appetite in case all other measures fail to do so. If that’s so, then I guess I can look the other way.
As long as they don’t mention the asbestos panties. Just the thought of an undergarment made of asbestos is disturbing.
Warning: Following Lady Smut will lead you to all kinds of unpredictable, sexy fun! No asbestos panties required!
August 8, 2014
Sexy Saturday Round-Up
By Liz Everly and the Lady Smut Bloggers
Hello, Sexy! Here’s our weekly round-up of interesting nuggets we’ve found on the Web this week. Enjoy!
From Liz:
Indie movies inventing new breeds of romantic comedy.
Fifty Shades of Grey trailer driving sex toy sales.
The trouble with writing advice.
From Elizabeth:
Why one woman has already decided she’s not going to see the 50 Shades movie.
Do girls like toys more than boys?
Why do women cheat? Here are 15 reasons.
Don’t let Big Red stop you! Why period sex is awesome.
From Madeline:
Sexy peach butts in China — because that’s how much they fetishize peaches.
You’re not getting older, you’re going through your second puberty.
Lawmakers try to stop SEX WEEK at Tennessee University.
From C. Margery Kempe:
A free ALL DESSERTS recipe book from Tirgearr Publishing: JUST DESSERTS
Helen Mirren likes a naughty spank
Victim-blaming anti-rape posters get edited
13 Inspiring Quotes from Shonda Rhimes
From Alexa:
Let Barbie show you how to take some better selfies. Seriously, please let her do it.
Geek love? What’s your fave comic book romance?
Don’t be fooled. Romance novelists absolutely know what fisting is.
The Last Taboo (Big Book of Submission on Tour)
There’s a big blog tour on supporting the 69 kinky tales in The Big Book of Submission (click the picture to see more stops along the tour). The book features my story “The Rhino” about a driven advertising executive who intimidates her colleagues, but has discovered a side of herself that she never expected to find.
Although a lot of people still roll their eyes at the whole Fifty Shades of Grey phenomenon, there’s no doubt that it has helped mainstream a lot of practices that would have once only been known to a more discreet group of practitioners. When even big celebrities like Helen Mirren can admit to enjoying spanking, for example, we can see that a lot of headway has been made even if there’s still a lot of giggling behind hands for most vanilla folk.
There’s still a huge backlash against women who submit. While the call for “strong female characters” grows, there’s also a huge misunderstanding about what that means. People love dom women — or at least those who look like they are, such as Emma Peel. But women have fought so hard to be taken seriously, to have their own power and to wield it, that submission can appear to be ‘letting the side down’ as it were.
But that’s not what it’s about: it’s about trust.
It’s about having faith in someone other than yourself. It’s about letting go when you’re accustomed to being in control. And it’s about the excitement of not knowing what will happen next — but knowing it’s delicious. Follow the tour for more delights.
Submit to Lady Smut: we won’t ask much of you, but we’ll give you plenty. Follow us on Facebook, too.
August 7, 2014
Sex in the Shower: Dangerous Adventure or Awesome on a Stick?
By Madeline Iva
On our Sexy Saturday Round Up someone posted a link to an article that stated how sex in the shower sucks. My mature response was nuh-unh! Sex in the shower is AWESOME.
Droughts aside, Here are 10 important reasons why SEX IN THE SHOWER RULES:
1)Boobs are great in the shower – all soapy. It’s an insta-cure for any body issues you may have.
2)Soapy butts—see boobs.
3)Backs are VERY sexy – you get a lotta back up close and personal in the shower.
4)Good smells in the shower – body scrubs, soaps, etc, all fun and fresh and clean.
5)The whole being tended to/caring thing. You’re getting scrubbed up, washed down, and dried off. Sometimes even taking turns. I think it affects the body on the level of core biology to be tended to in this way and sets the mood for deep sexual bonding.
6) Temp control – if it’s hot, you instantly cool down. On the other hand, if it’s cold, you instantly warm up. I spent a winter in an apartment with no heat in Northern climes and survived nights purely by means of hot showers with a hot guy.
7) Skin when wet is sexy—slippery. It’s also tasty. Sucking on someone’s neck or fingers or lips while water is pouring over them is fabulous.
8) That great shower stall echo makes it sound like you’re having even HOTTER sex than maybe you actually are. Go ahead –inspire the neighbors.
9)There’s always something—or someone!–handy to lean against, to brace yourself against while you bend over to…um, wash your toes.
10) Basically grand monkey-sex is just waiting to happen in any shower.
About which – Yes, it’s a mild athletic challenge to have sex in the shower. A woman has a choice of hand grips, foot grips, and her own sense of balance. Exciting and adding a tiny edge of danger to the proceedings is gauging how much weight the shower rod can handle, or your partner can handle, or how long you can balance on the ball of your foot and three toes–all while finding a few spots to brace yourself and push back. (How people will ever have sex in space I just don’t know.)
And the little things can add so much opportunity to shower sex. God how I love a well-placed towel rack. Who was the genius who invented the little shelf in the shower btw? So—so helpful. The mind boggles at all that can be done with a little shelf handy.
Meanwhile, I love the new hotel showers with the incredibly solid metal shower bar that bows outward – (see my post on hotel sex post here). Brilliant! Big well placed mirrors often happen to be near showers – that’s fun too.
And whatever you’ve been doing in there, you can be instantly cleaned up in a jiffy. 
The only problem I ever had, with shower sex, alas, was when I was once with a guy in an older shower — i.e. claw foot tub with curtain. During our fun we didn’t realize the inner shower curtain had flopped out of the tub. We were interrupted by someone banging on the door to inform us that downstairs water was flooding through the ceiling. Oops!
At any rate, like all worthy enterprises, sex in the shower takes some caution. Yet you are well repaid when after building up that steam-heat you can open up the bathroom door to go collapse into a heap on your bed afterwards. You haven’t just had a roll in the hay, you’ve traveled through steamy clouds and waterfall sprays, swung about like Tarzan, bellowed like a silverback, and finally returned to your home and bed with clean bodies on clean sheets, relaxed, happy, and–if you’re like me–ready to fall into a coma of contentment.
Speaking of adventure — come adventure with LadySmut and follow our blog. We’ll steam you up seven days a week.
August 5, 2014
Sticking My Foot In His Mouth
By I had a conversation with a friend not too long ago who was talking about his ex. Obviously, since she and he ended up in splitsville I know the relationship ultimately didn’t work out. But in thinking back on things about her he did like, this friend made it a point to mention her “really pretty feet.”
Interesting, right? I can see a guy who gets worked up over breasts. Or asses. Or legs. But there’s a healthy portion of them out there who also appreciate women’s feet. Some would immediately label that a foot fetish, but I say not so fast. Check out this definition:
fetish: noun A form of sexual desire in which gratification is linked to an abnormal degree to a particular object, item of clothing, part of the body, etc.
An abnormal degree is the key here. Unless the person has an excessive amount of almost reverence for the object in question, I don’t think immediately jumping to define foot admiration as a “fetish” is warranted. We don’t say a guy has an ass “fetish” just because he gets turned on by good booty, right? Same goes for the feet. But putting that aside, I’m left wondering what the deal is with men’s arousal over a lady’s tootsies. (conversely, the majority of women don’t list a man’s foot as among their top ten sexy male parts). So I asked around.
First of all, one male friend, clarified, it’s not all women’s feet. To no surprise, the ones garnering the most admiration are small, dainty, and with a really nice pedicure. There are those men who lust after big feet, or dirty feet, but tiny tootsies are generally the money shot. OK, got it. But why the attraction at all?
“Feet are an amazing prelude to really great sex,” I was told by a guy friend. “Some women feel a direct connection between the soles of their feet and their breasts. So a good foot massage gets things going.” According to reflexologists, he’s right about that. An area on the middle/upper part of the soles corresponds to the breast and chest. Massaging this area stimulates women’s nipples and even her, ah, lady parts because nerve endings in the feet send yummy signals to those parts of our bodies.
That all sounds pretty good to me. I mean, who would object to a foot massage? (especially, I might add on a personal note, if the guy has really nice hands). But then I turn my attention toward this whole business of toe sucking. What’s the scoop on that front?
Turns out, plenty of guys like doing it, but when asked they’re often at a loss to explain why. With women it seems to be more of a love-it-or-hate-it reaction. Not a whole lot of grey in this area. It’s interesting … I’m happy enough to have my fingers sucked, or to reciprocate for my man, but toes are another thing altogether for me. I just don’t see a toegasm in my future. The thought of having his tongue circling my toes seems ticklish and squishy. Then again, generous lovers give their partners what they want, so I suppose if he insists …
What do you think? Are you happy to have your man’s tongue on your toes, or is foot admiration just a big weird no-no? Do you like descriptions of toe-play in romance novels? Let us know, and be sure to follow us at Lady Smut. We’ll always keep your toes tapping.
August 4, 2014
Game of Thrones HAWTness
By Liz Everly
You know by now that I’m not a regular TV watcher (shh, don’t tell Kiersten, our TV expert at Lady Smut). But this summer I’ve become a bit of a binge TV series watcher. And as I understand it, this is how many people are watching TV these days. I’ve finally gotten into the Game of Thrones, which of course is on a a cable channel I don’t subscribe to, so I am watching the series on DVD from the library. I’ve watched two seasons, so far. (Yes, I use the library; I’m there maybe two or three times a week.) And I just have to say WOW. I love this series. It’s a little violent for my taste at times—but the violence is necessary to the story.
But I’m not going to bend your ear about the violence. I’m here to talk about the men. I’m a little enamored by several of the guys on the show. Well, MOST of the men on the show, really, what a scrumptious cast.
I wanted to choose one for the post and I could not. So I picked my top three Game of Thrones men—each as delicious as the other, but in unique ways. Each one them could represent a romance-book hero, couldn’t they?
The tormented, VIRGIN, brave, bastard-warrior Jon Snow.
The smart, sensitive, sexy Tyerion.
The “savage” wild man who is tamed by his woman.
Don’t ask me to choose, dear reader, I don’t think I could. Could you?
While you thinking about choices, choose Lady Smut and subscribe today.
August 3, 2014
It’s My Birthday!
by Kiersten Hallie Krum
Today is my birthday. Commence the celebrations! And there was much rejoicing throughout the land.
Was that too self-aggrandizing? Eh, sue me. I’m a Leo; we live for this center-of-the-universe stuff. There’s no humble pie on my birthday, just lots and lots of icing on the cake.
While I’m deliberately losing track of which number margarita I’m up to, you can enjoy a few of my favorite posts from the last few months…possibly even for the first time.
Looking…and Finding…a Whole Lotta Trouble With Victoria Dahl.
There’s still time to enter the giveaway for a free digital copy of Victoria Dahl’s new release, Looking for Trouble, by leaving a comment on this great interview with the lady herself. And you can double dip with this interactive review of her new novella Fanning the Flames too. Two for one!
I enjoyed writing this post about writing sex scenes. I’ll never have it down right–no writer is ever finished learning craft–but it was a good exercise in process. Plus I love posting the GIFs.
The Privilege of a Woman’s Pleasure
I’m gonna let you click through to figure that one out.
I remain fascinated and constantly tempted by this great romance review blog where Elisabeth Lane reviews romance novels while cooking up either meals mentioned in the novel or a menu inspired either by the novels’ plots. characters, or settings. She takes a mean photo too as though you could lick her concoctions straight off the screen. Yummy.
The Beyond series of erotic urban fantasy romance continues to entrap me in it’s pages. I regularly harass the writing team of Bree Bridges and Donna Herren who together make up Kit Rocha about when the next O’Kane book or novella will be available to consume. In this post, I tell you why.
I’m working on the second book in my three-book series, but it feels like the first time for a number of reasons. Plus an excerpt!
Follow Lady Smut. We’ll make you feel like every day is your birthday.
Postscript: Have some Gandy Candy. Because it’s my birthday! And I have a massive sweet tooth.
One (Month) Is Never Enough: Read A Romance Month
… And not enough time. (Image by Stewart Butterfield)
By Alexa Day
Read a Romance Month started on Friday, and I’m already kicking myself for joining the fun a few days late. What is wrong with me? Would it really kill me to be on time for something once in my life? Do I get something out of playing catch-up?
I know. If all that self-flagellation worked, I’d stop being late for things, right? Yeah, no such luck.
Worse, I can’t read a romance this month. Not even one. I’m editing my work in progress right now and trying to make two submission calls for short stories, and I hate to read inside the genre if I’m working. (I need to be positive that the only voices I’m hearing belong to me.) So it looks like I won’t get to tackle the more pleasant questions, like how many romances I could actually read in a month if I really applied myself.
Instead, I’m checking out the blog posts. Loads of romance writers are talking about how they discovered the genre. It reminds me of those superhero origin stories, you know? I love hearing about where people were in their lives and what else they were reading before they came to romance. With three posts a day, it looks like I might get a bit of a binge after all.
But the best part so far is getting recommendations, especially for the older books. Working like this has me a little burned out on new books. I’m overwhelmed with all the choices lately. I needed a word from the wise to guide my hand to some of the classic romances already hiding out on my shelves. So far, I’ve been encouraged to put my copy of Jennifer Crusie’s Faking It back near the top of the TBR list, next to Ashes in the Wind, the Kathleen Woodiwiss novel Joey Hill recommended at Romanticon a while back. You know, for once I’m able to read romance again.
That day’s coming. I feel it.
In the meantime, between my day job and my life’s work, I get to read about the things that inspire the writers who inspire me. Read A Romance Month still has power to make this writer’s life a brighter one, even if I don’t get to read another romance for weeks.
It’s always a good month to be following Lady Smut. We’ve got the good stuff year round.
August 1, 2014
Sexy Saturday Round-Up
Hello, Sexy! Many of the Lady Smut bloggers are off enjoying a brief respite. But those of us who are left, have scoured the Internet for your reading pleasure.
From Liz:
A 15-minute climax????
For those who have no orgasms.
Gay guys drawing vaginas. Yes, really.
From Elizabeth:
I want this job! Woman quits boring gig at a bank, becomes professional sex toy tester.
There’s a calendar out there for everyone, including those who like to look at nude, rock-climbing women.
Kate Middleton jumps over tin cans in high heels. Royal baby watchers conclude: she’s not pregnant.
Is your bikini body not where you’d like it to be? Then check out the 20 most flattering one-piece swimsuits.
Anna Paquin educates Larry King on bisexuality.
From Alexa:
August is Read a Romance Month! Check out this calendar, catch up on the posts so far, and prepare to beef up that TBR list.
You’ll have a tough time looking away from these incredibly graphic baby shower cakes. You might also have a tough time eating later, but that’s another problem.
The ad looks like just another weekend at my place (who says it doesn’t?), but now it looks like a hot, shirtless staff is within everyone’s reach!
I love Lulu, and I love what she has to say about not letting anything — even yourself — hold you back.
From CMK:
The Journal of Popular Romance Studies needs a new editor!
What did you do on National Orgasm Day?
Top 5 Qs about Women’s Orgasms Answered
Confused Cats Against Feminism
Stay Hungry,
Liz
P.S. Please don’t forget to subscribe!
