Liz Everly's Blog, page 116

Friday Fun: Girl Groups

You know you want to click me. Just do it. Do it right now.

by C. Margery Kempe

I’ll be honest. I am flat out exhausted. I’ve been running like mad through my year of sabbatical writing like a machine. So here are some fabulous ladies to inspire you to get up and move around. We writers (and readers!) often spend a lot of time sedentary. Dancing is good exercise.

What’s your favourite ‘get moving’ song? Tell us in the comments! It’s Lughnasadh so the Summer dance party commences RIGHT NOW! Tip of the musical hat to Carol at The Cultural Gutter and Paul D. Brazill.

And always follow Lady Smut; you wouldn’t want to miss the party!

Madeline is Away!

I’m away on vaction.  See you next Thursday!

Size 000? WTF??! Should I Be Pissed – Or Envious?

By Elizabeth Shore

Listen up, Ladies. Just in case you’ve started feeling good about fitting in to a size 6 or 8, retailer J. Crew has come up with the whopperist of all buzz kills. Now available: size triple 0!

My first reaction upon hearing the news that size 000 has been added to J. Crew’s clothing line-up was pure annoyance. I mean, size 000? Really? Issues with women and body image go deep and cut hard, and they start when we’re just impressionable young girls. I cringe when I remember how, as a kid, my friend and I would giggle over the class fat girl. It’s a tough memory to stomach now. We were so damn cruel. We didn’t laugh right in her face, but it makes it no more forgiveable that behind her back we were snickering over her supposed fondness for “butter sandwiches.” I don’t know whatever happened to that girl, but if she remained heavy I’m sure not everyone was mocking her quite so privately. J. Crew, it seems, is like the class mean girl, flaunting the tiny size in our faces and daring us to see if we can fit in.

J. Crew, in response, says their sizes run large and the 000 is merely an effort to serve the needs in the Asian market. Indeed, size 000 is only available in the U.S. online. So … hmmm. Is this supposed to make me feel better? The tiny size is just for slender Asian women! No need for us hefty American gals to feel like human Hindenbergs just because fitting in to size 000 is as realistic as skin without pores. Except … well, ah, here’s the thing. I’d love to have my skin look pore-less. When I examine my face in a magnified mirror and see pores the size of volcanoes dotting my cheeks, I confess that if it were possible not to have that you could count me in. And, well, I can’t fit into a size triple 0, but if I could, and if it wouldn’t mean endless days of forced starvation to get there, well then …

When we read romances, we insert ourselves in the role of heroine. We’re young and pretty with the world’s hottest guys turning to mush at our perfectly pedicured feet. For me, part of the fantasy includes being slender. Not “as a reed,” but nonetheless, if I could pick my perfect fantasy body it would be a slim one. So if I’m honest with myself, do I secretly wish I were J. Crew’s target audience, happily victorious that they’re finally putting out a size for me? (gulp). I guess I do.

Nevertheless, I don’t think a woman fantasizing about her perfect body while she’s a romance heroine negates being frustrated about size triple 0. The message is still out there: thin – really thin – is in. Size 000, by the way, fits a 23-inch waist. The biggest irony of all is that other retailers, like the Gap, offer clothes with that same measurement. They just call it either 0 or at best 00. J. Crew’s addition of the third zero seems to me like vanity sizing on steroids. And what keeps it here to stay is women respond to it and retailers know it. Have a female shopper try on two pairs of jeans with identical measurements except one pair’s label says size 8 and the other says size 10. Which one is she gonna buy? Exactly. Therein lies the problem. Coveting the ability to wear that tiny size veers many women either toward extreme measures to make it fit, or spirals them into self-loathing because they know it’s never gonna happen.

How do you respond? Tell J. Crew to get a grip on reality, or wish you could try on a pair of the super skinnies? Sound off in the comments below, and don’t forget to follow us at Lady Smut. Insightful and sexy posts seven days a week!

 

 

 

A Little Spanking with My Room Service, Please: Sex Tourism

By Liz Everly

If you look up “armchair traveler” in the dictionary, I’m pretty sure you’ll find a picture of me there. I write books set all over the world because I enjoy learning about different cultures and their food ways. One of the reasons I write is to learn. I don’t travel much yet, but one of these days, I will. I’m researching for the day I will be footloose and fancy free, dontchyaknow.

My SAFFRON NIGHTS Series is set all over the world. In CRAVINGS, the second book in the series, Sasha is a world-sex traveler. She used to be a paid dominatrix who traveled the world for her clients. One of the locations the story is set is Saint Lucia and my characters are staying at a chocolate-themed resort. But Sasha had been there before—to a very high-end BDSM club-resort. At one point she takes Sanj to a BDSM shop that she remembers fondly. When researching for the books, I found out about sex tourism. It probably won’t surprise you to find out that there are sex clubs all over the world catering to the whim of travelers. You want BDSM? How about a ménage? Or to indulge your foot fetish? Chances are you can find it somewhere out there—somewhere far from home, where the neighbors are ever prying. Here are the top five places for sex tourism.

Now, I’m writing an erotic serial that I’m publishing on Amazon. It’s called EIGHT LAYS AROUND THE WORLD (A NAUGHTY TRAVELOGUE). It’s gotten a little kinky, but I plan to get even kinkier with it.

The other day I was on Amazon and ran across a new book called AROUND THE WORLD IN 80 LAYS:  THE SEX TOURISM HANDBOOK: BED HOPPING IN BANGKOK, RIO, PRAGUE, AND AROUND THE WORLD, by Joe Diamond. Joe is currently a writer for Playboy TV’s new travel series Sexy Things to Do Before You Die. Cool gig, heh?

In my serial, my main character, Gigi, is getting paid to travel the world and write about her sex experiences—but just for one man, the Benefactor, who is a good friend of Marko, her boss at the publishing company she works for. She’s a young editorial assistant working at a huge publishing company and at the start of the series is bored with her work and longs to travel and write about food and culture. So, this is what her boss offers—after seeing her in action at a sex club and knowing she’d be up for a little sexual fun. Let’s be clear: my books and serial is complete fiction.

 

But there are a lot of nonfiction guides out there. It turns out the Joe is not the only writer to be dipping his toes into this subject. There’s a lot of other books out there in similar vein. Most of them appear to really just be for single guys on vacation. I’ve yet to find more discerning guides for couples and women, though I know those places exist from my research.

To me, the stuff of sex travel is pure fantasy. Personally, I’m a wee bit more comfortable with culinary tourism. But sex tourism is intriguing. If you could indulge your fantasies, where would it be?

 

 

 

 

 

 

Looking…and Finding…a Whole ‘Lotta Trouble: an Interview With Victoria Dahl

by Kiersten Hallie Krum

We’re thrilled to have contemporary romance writer, Victoria Dahl, join us today at Lady Smut. She’s had a few busy recent weeks with the release of her novella Fanning the Flames at the start of July and the new release of her full-length novel Looking for Trouble tomorrow. I caught up with her just before she heads off to explore Alaska (I KNOW!) and asked her about the differences between erotica and sexy contemporaries, Girl’s Nights Out, and all that tumblr pron.

Be sure to read all the way to the end for a prize!

KHK: Thank you so much for joining us today on Lady Smut. Do you think it’s fair to say you’re the Jennifer Crusie of erotic romance? Do you consider yourself to be a writer of erotic romance or one who writes sexy contemporary romance? Do you see a difference in the distinctions?’

Ms. Dahl: I’m not the Jennifer Crusie of anything! Ha! But I do consider my work to be sexy contemporary romance. Verrrrrry sexy, maybe. I see a distinction between sexy romance and erotic romance, although the lines are certainly more blurry than they used to be. For me, the question is whether the plot and story can stand without the sex. To be clear, my books wouldn’t be nearly as interesting without the sex, but there’s usually a story going on that *surrounds* the sex scenes as opposed to be woven into them.

I have written one erotic romance, a novella called The Wicked West. That story was entirely driven by the sexual relationship between the hero and heroine and the conflict that arose from their attraction.

KHK: They say that pioneers get slaughtered and settlers prosper. Are you one of the first authors to successfully use a lighthearted tone and oodles of humor in writing contemporary erotic romance? (If not, who came before you?)

Ms. Dahl: You know, I think I was one of the first to write funny books that also included intense, no-holds-barred sex scenes. Not the first, I’m sure. I hope your readers will chime in with names. And there are so many great women writing that way now. I love it.

The only problem I encountered is that my publisher wasn’t sure whether to go with covers that conveyed the humor or the sex. My covers have been pretty light in tone because of that, but the new Jackson series has a redesigned, much sexier look, and I am so excited about that.

KHK: It’s thought that a character in an HQN novel may own a vibrator and wave it around, but you’ll never see her actually using it. Indeed, one of your heroines does exactly that. Does HQN limit you when it comes to what goes on in a sex scene?

Ms. Dahl: No way! My heroines always use their vibrators! In both Talk Me Down and Too Hot to Handle there are comical moments with a vibrator, but both heroines were using them at the time. ;-) And in Real Men Will, the heroine uses several sex toys on-screen, one at the urging of the hero. Nobody has ever told me not to write those scenes, I’m happy to say! Because girls love vibrators. Or at least my heroines do.

KHK: You’re damn funny on Twitter and your Tumblr pron is the stuff of romance legends. Do you spend much social media time anywhere else or is it important to just stick to what works and forget the rest?

Ms. Dahl: Thank you! I am so happy I found Twitter. SO HAPPY. It totally fits my personality and my slight tendency to get distracted by shiny, sparkly things. Oh, and then Tumblr came along!!! That fits my tendency to be distracted by masculine, hairy things.

I absolutely believe that writers have to find the social media platform that feels like fun instead of work. Your followers can tell. For example, I’m sure my hardscrabble group of fans on Facebook have noticed I only sign in twice a year. I’m sorry Facebook folk! That place scares me and every time I go in it looks different. It’s a castle of constantly shifting horrors.

KHK: Before your mad rush of contemporary titles with HQN, you wrote a few historical romances. Do you intend to ever return to the historical genre? What made you switch genres? What do you find attracts you more to contemporaries than to writing historicals? Is your “voice” more comfortable in contemporaries?

Ms. Dahl: I wrote quite a few historical romances and even a lonely little paranormal romance, and I love those genres. I love the potential for so much drama and angst. And dirty, secret sex. For a couple of years, I was writing both historical and contemporary, and I really enjoyed that, but my sales were much better in contemporary. I suppose that means my voice is a more natural fit there, but I have long-term plans to write more historical. If I can only find the time.

KHK: Romance is all about hurdles the hero and heroine must overcome to be together to have their HEA or HFN. Are those internal conflicts hard to create in an age where a woman can drop her panties and get her groove on anytime, anywhere?

Ms. Dahl: I find believable conflicts much harder to make realistic in contemporaries. I mean, just tell him the truth or move to a new town or tell your parents to sod off already. Be strong and take control! There are so many situations that would work in a historical that wouldn’t work in a contemporary.

I can’t remember who gave me this advice–maybe my brilliant critique partner, Jennifer Echols–but a good starting point in contemporary is to take two people with totally opposite goals and throw them together. I don’t always pull it off, but if you’ve come up with one character you love, it’s a great place to start brainstorming. Who would throw a wrench into this person’s life?

KHK: Your characters have real-world jobs—barely a doctor or cop among them—in a genre where employment is often a short-term character sketch, particularly for the hero. From where do you mine those somewhat uncommon professions and character traits, like Alex’s groundwater engineering in Looking for Trouble or Walker’s learning disability and Charlie’s financial contretemps in So Tough to Tame?

Ms. Dahl: From using the technique above!!! LOL! I have written cops before. In fact, I’m writing a U.S. marshal right now. I usually write a law enforcement character when the other person in the story has a lot to hide. They usually have opposite goals.

I made Alex a groundwater engineer because I needed a good job for him that would let him travel to adventurous places, because Sophie’s issue is that she can’t leave Jackson and she really, really wants to travel. His life was an immediate draw for her. And Walker’s learning disability played into his fear that he wasn’t good enough for Charlie, but it also helped to make him really good with people and very charming. Voila! Instant conflict!

KHK: Your heroines are frank and mouthy, particularly about sex and their desire for it. In the past, they’ve spurred strong, polarizing responses from readers and reviewers. Do you still receive blow back? Have you ever received similar objections to your often equally raunchy heroes?

Ms. Dahl: No, people never complain about my heroes being bitchy or too strong or sexual. But I’ve heard so many times that my heroines aren’t good enough for my heroes. It makes me angry, especially when the issue is sex. After all, the hero is participating in the exact same sex acts as the heroine, but she’s the easy one? Nuh uh, sister. I don’t play that way. And my heroes are damn happy with their mouthy, raunchy heroines. What’s not to love, after all? ;-)

KHK: Here at Lady Smut, I reviewed (and j’adored !) your new novella, Fanning the Flames , which features a couple in their 40s getting in on and on…and on. What made you decide to feature a middle-aged couple? Did you receive any blow back from your publisher about it? What has been the reader reaction? Do you think a middle-aged couple would be acceptable in a full-length romance novel or do they need to be limited to a novella quickie to enjoy readers’ leniency?

Click on picture to purchase!

Ms. Dahl: What inspired me was turning 40. I’m 42 now and I love being this age. I feel much more confident than I did when I was younger, and I think a lot of my friends feel that way, too. I wanted to write a romance about a woman who was at that same point of being sure of who she was and what she wanted. Well, this heroine isn’t exactly sure what she wants, but she’s ready to find out!

The reader reaction has been amazing. I’m honored by the women who’ve told me that they also wanted to read about heroines who were more like them. As for a full-length novel…I’m sure it will happen. As soon as I finished this short story, I started my 2015 release, Flirting With Disaster, and I wanted to make that heroine 40 also, but my editor wasn’t sure I should jump immediately into that. So I made her 36. And very sure of who she is.

KHK: Let’s talk Looking for Trouble, your new full-length novel that releases tomorrow, Tuesday, July 29th. Can you tell us a little about what inspired this book about a sexy librarian with a secret and the prodigal biker who returns to the home he hates for his father’s funeral?

Ms. Dahl: I can tell you exactly what inspired it. My family was on a road trip and we drove through a small town. On the corner was a local government building that housed both the town library and the fire department. Ohmygod. The librarians and the firemen all under one roof? I was fucking enchanted. All that fantasizing about what kind of naughty librarians might work there led directly to Sophie in Looking for Trouble. And of course, to Jake and Lauren’s story in Fanning the Flames.

As for Alex… Well, I’m not great at seeing the obvious sometimes. When I wrote Shane’s story in Too Hot to Handle, Alex was just a bit of characterization. When several readers asked when he was getting his story, I figured out that he needed to be a hero. And soon.

KHK: Looking for Trouble is the first book in the Girl’s Night Out (GNO) trilogy. Your personal GNOs are so infamous, you’ve made them a biddable item in Brenda Novack’s Annual Online Auction for Diabetes Research. Has anything from those real-life GNOs make it into the books?

Click on picture to purchase!

Ms. Dahl: All the girl talk!!! All of it! My favorite part of girls’ night out is when someone new joins in and she hears the kinds of things we talk about…there’s a sort of scandalized delight. Like, “We can really talk about these things?” Yes!!! We can talk about anything! It’s GNO!

KHK: What made you create the World of Dahl in Jackson Hole, Wyoming? Did you throw darts at a map or were there firm reasons why Jackson Hole was chosen as a setting for your ongoing series.

Ms. Dahl: I live in Park City, Utah, a town that is very similar to Jackson, Wyoming, which is why Jackson feels so familiar to me. It’s a ski town populated with a lot of rich people and tourists, but it’s really a small town at its core. Most of the full-time residents of both Jackson and Park City are hard-working, middle-class folks or people working in the service industry. The towns are also a fascinating mix of tourism and agricultural work. Honestly, I could drop almost any character into a town like Jackson and it would work.

KHK: Having read nearly all of your oeuvre, I can safely say this is probably one of, if not the most, explicit book you’ve ever written. In fact, I found myself put in mind of some of the images you’ve posted on your tumblr in recent months, no doubt some writing inspiration. Does your editor ever tell you to tone it down? Do you think you’ll ever reach a place where HQN finally says “enough” or “We need a new sub-genre just for Dahl”?

Ms. Dahl: Hehehehe. You’re totally onto me and Tumblr. Yes, I use it for a lot of inspiration. It’ll be interesting to see if I go too far for HQN. When I first started with them, I wanted to insert (Heh) a little anal play into one scene and my editor thought it might be too much. But a few books later, she told me to go ahead and do whatever I wanted. I wore her down!

But I’d love it if they came up with a sub-genre just for me!!! Think about it, HQN.

Fast and Dirty Round:

What is your favorite curse word? Fuck.

What is your favorite alcoholic drink? A greyhound. That’s (good) grapefruit juice and vodka.

What is your Starbucks order? Skim-milk latte. A skinny Frappuccino if I’m feeling frisky.

What do you think is the sexiest piece of lingerie? Hmm. Little black panties?

What is your favorite physical feature on a man? There are so many! Eyes. Forearms. And the most obvious.

What is your favorite physical feature on a woman? Way too many to name. Women are so pretty! I have a crush on Zoe Archer’s eyebrows, though.

What is your favorite cheat food? Cake.

Which is your favorite pair of shoes? My red patent pumps which are actually COMFORTABLE. Relatively speaking.

Where is your favorite place on earth? This is a tough one. I’ll say… Floating on the ocean.

What is your favorite sexual situation…to write? Ha! Good girl getting very bad.

Ms. Dahl: Thank you so much for having me. This was a very fun interview.

KHK: Well, we do our best. Thank you, Ms. Dahl, for being such a wonderful and game interviewee!

Find out more about Victoria Dahl and her books at victoriadahl.com and follow her on Twitter @victoriadahl for some saucy fun.

But wait! There’s more!

We have not one, but TWO copies of Looking for Trouble for a pair of lucky Lady Smut readers. Leave us a comment on what you love about Victoria Dahl’s books–or the lady herself!–and one randomly chosen winner will receive a digital edition of Looking for Trouble. Limited to U.S. and Canada readers only.

Follow Lady Smut.

Special thanks to Madeline Iva for question contributions.

I Do Need Feminism and Hope I Always Will

No idea where feminism is headed, but I’m glad it’s been where it’s been.

By Alexa Day

So last week, I was introduced to this hashtag: #WomenAgainstFeminism. I checked out this gallery to figure out what they’re all about, and I have to say I was a little disturbed by it.

The gallery features 15 young women holding up little handwritten signs describing all the various reasons for their animosity against feminism. They like chivalry. They don’t want their sex lives politicized. Most disappointing, they seem to think that one cannot enjoy sex and be feminist.

I think everyone in the gallery is at best a little confused about what feminism is.

Listen, I get it. When I was a college student, just half a lifetime ago, I was somewhat dismayed by feminism. Not only did it seem joyless and more than a little angry, there was a strong thread of weight room know-it-all running through it. You know what I mean. While you’re going merrily about your business, someone comes along and says, “You’re doing it wrong.”

Thankfully, I have learned a thing or two about feminism since then. And thankfully, feminism is not static. My mom’s feminism is different from mine. Her mom’s was different from both of ours. My niece’s feminism will hopefully be different, too.

I don’t want to be the know-it-all in the weight room, but this is what feminism has done for my family.

My grandmother needed a harder, angrier feminism to climb the professional ladder in New York’s fashion industry and bring her daughters to America. My mom’s all-or-nothing feminism, I think, was designed to keep the momentum up. Her mother had kids and a career, she had kids and two careers, and by God, her daughter was going to have it all, too. After trying to drink from that particular firehose long enough to get through law school, I turned to a new feminism, one where you can have as much of “it all” as you want, when you want it.

As far as I’m concerned, you can have sex, enjoy chivalry, cook for your boyfriend (or your girlfriend or whoever else) and still be a feminist. You can swear off sex, shun chivalry, never cook anything, and still be a feminist. You can be a man and still be a feminist. There’s always going to be someone out there to say otherwise. Sometimes, that person’s a woman. Feminism says other people — male or female — don’t get to tell me how to be a woman. It says that I get to handle my own business. It encourages me to help other women handle theirs. I do my part by writing “slutcelebratory” erotic romance and telling people what law school did to me, in the hope that my choices help inform theirs. They’ll do what I did or they won’t, but thanks to the feminists who came before me, both options are available, and we can all investigate them more thoroughly.

Because of the tremendous (and ongoing) efforts of a great many feminists, both male and female, we’re able to live up to that promise so many of us heard as little girls. We can do anything we set our minds to. And we don’t have to do it alone.

That includes participation in tumblr blogs insisting that feminism is now unnecessary.

So I’m not going to tell anyone they can’t be an anti-feminist. It’s my job to protect choice, and that’s a choice. I will tell the world that I think we need to examine what feminism is and what it has been and what it might one day be.

If my niece’s generation is going to abandon feminism, they should at the very least know what they’re missing.

Choose Lady Smut today. Feminism’s never been so much fun.

Sexy Saturday Round-Up

By Liz Everly and the Lady Smut Bloggers

Hello, Sexy! Check it out–it’s Sat-ur-day, are you ready for some good reading? We’ve scanned the Internets for you. So read on!

From Liz:

Writing romances is a feminist act.

Gamers: No sex? Puh-lease!

Are my boobs a threat, too?

From Alexa:

The end (almost) of an era: Bop is gone.

For those curious, here’s what it’s like inside an orgy. Still no idea how to get invited to one.

The story’s old; the debate is evergreen. Tristan Taormino talks feminist porn.

From Elizabeth:

Coming on camera. Beautiful Agony, the website where you can watch people’s O faces and the stores behind why they’ll let you do it.

This is just sad. Under 25-year-olds becoming obsessed with having designer vagina plastic surgery.

Here’s a workout I can get on board with: 6 moves for better sex.

8 tips for getting your best bikini wax.

From Madeline:

Aw! Longest celebrity marriages.

Pole dancing is not a sport? Oh yeah? This video will prove it *is*.

“I can’t believe you’re still single!” said no man ever to this Hello Kitty fanatic.

Rough Sex? Ask Men offers gentle solutions to getting started.

Popular Romance Tropes — can you spot your favorites?

Cameron Diaz talks about the ever important butt to butt crack ratios on Chelsea Lately.

Do you ‘play high’ or ‘play low’ when you present yourself? This video talks about women, body language, & power.

 

 

 

 

 

Win One Night in Rome

Hot-hot-hot! Click on image to buy.

by C. Margery Kempe

Okay before you get too excited, I should clarify that I can only afford to offer you a copy of my novella One Night in Rome, not an actual night in the eternal city. Hey, I would if I could but my publisher says I haven’t earned it yet.

You can help me earn it by buying more of my books ;-)

In the mean time, let me give away a copy of the ebook to someone lucky. Here’s the skinny on the story which I should add, is scorching hot so not for the faint of heart or genteel:

After a lifetime of wishing, at last Celia’s in Rome! But exploring the timeless art and ancient monuments on her own wasn’t part of the plan. Will the magic of the Eternal City provide some romance before her holiday ends?

Heart of Fiction says:

One Night in Rome scores high on many levels. In classic Kempe style, C. Margery pulls the reader in from page one with a scene which sets the stage for the remainder of the story. We meet Celia right away and quickly become endeared to her character. Once in Rome, the city comes alive through Celia’s eyes, and we can’t help but fall for Lorenzo right along with Celia. One Night in Rome is not just another fabulous Kempe erotic romance, it’s also another wonderful addition to the City Night Series from Tirgearr Publishing.

Check out all the City Nights series, including Lucy Felthouse’s One Night in Paris and Troy Lambert’s One Night in Boise.

To win tell me what you would do if you won a magical night in the city of your choice. Which city would it be?

Don’t forget to follow Lady Smut: you wouldn’t want to miss a thing here or on Facebook.

Carry Me: One Night In Seoul

By Madeline Iva

If he’s not gorgeous and crying, it’s not Korean drama.

Beautiful men who cry perfect tears. People who cut up their food with scissors. A society with seven forms of address—including one for animals. No, I’m not talking about a sci-fi world– I’m talking about Korea.

How is it possible that I’ve never posted about Korean Drama before? I love it—At times I’ve been obsessed by it.  But then again, so is all of Asia.  These one season TV dramas rock my world–not only with their unique cultural differences but with their strong sense of romance.

Because this week we’re celebrating C. Margery Kempe’s publication One Night in Rome (City Nights Series, book 3), I’m going to take you through One Night In Seoul, Korea.   We’ll survey the night—not Gangnam Style, because that’s a whole other Korean thing. Instead we’ll go out on the town Korean Drama style.

At any rate–let’s get our evening started. Our hero is so much better looking than us–he’s probably the most handsome man on the face of the planet, or at least top five.  Accepting that we’re out of our league is a given.  It also builds humility–a must-have trait for all Korean heroines.

A great sense of humility and very pouty lips–the Korean heroine.

We go out to eat – but nothing fancy. Let’s face it, in Korea it’s all about food.  Yes, we can eat at a restaurant where we sit on a mat without shoes and boil our own meat in a pot of oil at our table. Or sit at a table that comes with inset boxes of kim-chi. Every now and then the waitress comes by and cuts up the kim-chi with scissors for us. What are we, five? Now she’s cutting up our seafood omlete.  Well, if it makes her happy.

As the evening progresses, aside from walking around exchanging witty remarks and reveling in the silky evening weather, we’ll eventually get hungry again.  It’s late and the restaurants are closed, but that’s okay, because the best food in Korea is on the street. We through the plastic sheeting of a cheap tent on a city street (it’s a little rainy outside).  Inside we sit on a stool next to homeless people and businessmen, and eat skewers of who-knows-what.  Yum-ola.  Very egalitarian.  No dessert–only more booze.

Because our evening involves drinking—lots and lots of drinking. At some point in the late evening–not sure when–we do a round of raucous karaoke in a private room.  Oh, did I mention our hero happens to be a pop star in real life? Don’t get self-conscious about singing or thrashing around doing demented air-guitar.  Being crazy bad at karaoke is a right in Korea. Besides you’re too drunk to care.

Yup, you’re wasted.  Beer, saki, wine, the hard stuff? I don’t even know what all we drink, but at some point in the evening everything gets blurry and we are so drunk that the hero must needs carry us home on his back.

WHAT??? I can feel you cringing, and as a tall strapping woman, I know. I know. But apparently there is a deep psychological need for this carrying stuff. It brings up all kinds of cultural metaphors—how strong he is, how he will carry you through the hard times (like now, when you’re occasionally spewing kim-chi in the gutters) Meanwhile, it’s a total sensual experience. Being carried, feeling how strong his back is, how sexy it feels pressing your breasts up against that strong back. You feel safe.

Besides, as the average Korean woman, you’re only about four foot nine and probably weigh a hundred pounds dripping wet.

So off we go.  He carries us up hill and down hill and then home. His home, our home–doesn’t really matter.  We spend the night together. Probably on a futon—we each have our own–on a wooden floor so spotless we could lick with the same confidence we’d lick a plate straight from the dishwasher.

A futon for you, a futon for me.

I know what you’re asking. Do we um, you know? Yes. Yes we DO knock boots. But not right now.  We wait. The tension all around it is smoking hot, however.

See, Korean drama is all about romantic hot vs. erotic hot.  The only thing is…it takes a long time to happen. It probably takes on average sixteen episodes for us to kiss. This is because the roots of romance go deep deep deep in Korean Drama. These people take it slow, and by the time we kiss we really know each other—I mean KNOW each other.

It takes on average twenty episodes to do the deed. In Korean Drama you gotta wait for it if it’s going to be everlasting. So no nookie on THIS date—though having been fed well, having been drunk and happy while carried through the hilly streets of Seoul on a gorgeous man’s back–we’re feeling pretty awesome. Looking at his arresting face, we fall asleep and all is right in the world.

One Night in Rome (City Nights Series, book 3)

Hot-hot-hot! Click on image to buy.

Check out some more about Korean Drama HERE at my website, and check out ONE NIGHT IN ROME by our very own C.Margery Kempe One%20Night in Rome (City Nights Series, book 3)HERE.

Meanwhile, follow our blog. We’ll carry you through a whole year of sexy romance for free.

Getting Naked And Eating Pizza – One Night in Marseille

By Elizabeth Shore

This week at Lady Smut we’re celebrating our fellow blogger C. Margery Kempe’s new release One Night in Rome by each of us picking a different city where we’d love to spend a night. I considered a couple different options of cities I know well – including Helsinki, San Diego, and Madison, Wisconsin. But then a friend suggested Marseille and he was absolutely right. Why Marseille? Because it’s exactly the kind of place that wouldn’t first come to mind, which is exactly why it’s perfect for a day and night of unexpected decadence.

The image that first comes to some people’s mind about Marseille is that it’s dirty. It’s grungy. It’s crime-infested and unsafe. It’s got a bad rep, perhaps deservedly so. But the good folks of Marseille have made definite strides toward cleaning up the city – figuratively and literally – and according to the French travel blog Why Go France, Marseille now has a reputation as being an artistic and funky place. My kinda town.

So OK. I arrive in mid July and it’s summertime. Temps are soaring. It’s hot and sticky and I’m in need of some freshening up. What’s an intrepid but sweaty gal to do? Why, head for the beach, naturally. No, I mean really naturally, as in “getting back to nature.” I’m in France after all, where clothing on beaches is optional. So I’m going in. I’ve never sunbathed in the nude before but I’m sure as heck doing it here.

I’m settled in my beach chair and glowing like a bronzed goddess (actually, this part would never happen because I don’t get tan, but it’s my

fantasy so I’m sticking to it). Right. So bronzed goddess. As I’m lying there and sipping pastis I notice a rather very attractive waiter approaching my lounge chair. He wants to know if I need anything. Hmmm. Well, a little more suntan lotion never  hurts. Le Hunk gets down to business while I gaze out at the sparkling Mediterranean and the picturesque boats bobbing in the port.

Marseille is a very old city and, like any respectably aging gal, she can’t help but show her age now and then. She’s crumbling and dirty and there are lots of back streets where you may or may not wish to go. But I’m feeling adventurous and Le Hunk has agreed to accompany me, so we go exploring the winding narrow streets, getting lost along the way. Suddenly I realize I’m getting hungry and have pizza on the brain. Say what? Pizza in France? Mais oui.

Marseille has apparently had long ties with Naples and thus has benefitted by being able to offer an incredibly authentic Italian pizza in several places around the city. Le Hunk and I hunker down for some grub. The pizza is hot and cheesy with deliciously charred crust edges straight from the wood burning ovens. We eat like ravenous dogs, lick sauce from each other’s fingers, and get the sensual juices humming. I’m thinking about the bed in my hotel room, but non non non. Not yet. Nothing fuels desire like prolonging the inevitable. Yeah, we’ll get there, but hold on for a minute. First, we shop.

Comprised of a series of narrow side streets, Marché des Capucins offers a wide assortment of mainly north African goods, including foods, fabrics, spices, and more, plenty to see and experience as I stroll hand in hand with Le Hunk while we appraise the vast array of offerings. I make several purchases to remember my Marseille experience before moving on.

To get an overall panoramic view of the city, head up to the Basilique Notre Dame de la Garde. It sits on Marseille’s highest point and is quite a climb to get to the top, but by all accounts the view is well worth it. I’m game for it, so up Le Hunk and I go, climbing steep-hilled streets to reach the pinnacle. From here we can get another view of the crystal blue sea and appreciate the offerings Marseille shares if you take the time to look.

It’s getting dark and I’m thinking about dinner. Marseille’s a port city, so fresh fish is on the menu. There are several good restaurants serving up local fare. After a delicious dinner, Le Hunk and I head out to Café de la Plage to dance the night away. It’s open until dawn, after all, so no danger of getting booted out too early. Only thing is, though, that the more pastis I drink the better and better Le Hunk is looking. Methinks it’s time to head back to the hotel for a little ton of good ol’ fashioned oooh la la! ;-)

Tell us where you’d go if you only had one night, and be sure to check out C.M. Kemps’ titillating new read, One Night in Rome. Oh, and click on that little follow button to the right. Here at Lady Smut we’ll never lead you astray.