Liz Everly's Blog, page 149

Would You Get Out Alive? Bear Grylls Is The Survivalist of My Dreams

Bear is hot

by Madeline Iva

Just finished an exciting dose of a “reality” series called Get Out Alive with Bear Grylls. The show involved different couples (father-daughter, father-son, fiancées, two buddies, etc) competing for half a million dollars by surviving the rigors of the wild in New Zealand.  You can watch the entire season here on Hulu.

At the heart of this show was Bear Grylls.  Some may already know him from his other crazy survivalist theme shows in days of yore—but Bear is a former British army paratrooper who knows his stuff when it comes to living off bugs or starting a fire in the middle of a rain forest.  He knows all the

Hot gay contestants

tricks of survival you’d ever want to read about but never actually do yourself.

Bear’s hot.  It’s not just the British accent.  It’s the way he embodies the principals that help people get through a tough situation.  He’s positive, he’s competent, he’s convinced that the people with the best attitude, the biggest hearts, and the strongest will are the one’s who prevail.

Yet I’m not as drawn to his looks as to the engaging and sincere way he handles his contestants when they get that thousand yard stare and start to slide from reality contestant to future casualty victim.  The show is not packed full of those moments. Mostly people are cold, wet, tired,

Hot Alaskan Couple

and worried about how much daylight is left.  Yet now and again Bear has to pop in from time to time because people are going to be in serious trouble if they don’t tend to something immediately.  They don’t see the danger lurking in how their present situation will affect their future peril, but he does.

He’ll pop forth at these moments, assure himself that danger is averted, and then stand aside to let people carry on.

There’s something about the uber-competent way Bear does this that just sends me.  He doesn’t get all bossy.  Instead he sees someone who’s seriously struggling and addresses it using this tone—this very particular tone that just kills.

It’s not condescending.  It’s got a little liveliness in it – which snags the attention of the contestant lost in the fog of exhaustion and hurt.

He’ll ask a question and there’s a little distance as he waits impartially for the answer.  He also has this thread of compassion weaving through his voice.  In that pause while awaiting the answer, 100% of his attention is on the person.   I find it heady.  One could fall in love with a guy when he’s in that mode.

Father son team, and yes, former Boy Scouts. I guess Girl Scouts don’t learn survivalist skills–they just get some entrepreneurial sales mojo from the cookie stuff.

It happens so quickly but it shows a man at his best.  He’s displaying leadership, yet standing back a little to allow the person to find their own inner grit if they can.  But if not, Bear is there, ready to ‘shoulder’ a man in need.

Bear wants people to stay as dry, warm, and safe as they can.  It’s a masculine form of nurturing — and again it just sends me.

At the camp meeting at the end of the week, he points out the lack of logic which prevented contestants from doing this. Then he sends the worst offenders packing, saying to the couple “You wouldn’t make it out alive.”

It is reality TV.  We see people drink pee, we see people eat really disgusting insects, we see people call out when they’re starting to drown.  Hypothermia is only a commercial break away.

On the other hand, people make these cool little bird nest canoes, they scale down cliffs, float down rivers, slip n slide down glaciers.  They learn to build fires and be resourceful.

Hot guy contestants. The one on the left just gets better looking as everyone gets all scruffybuild a fire anytime, anywhere, out of practically nothing. They enjoy the simplest pleasures of a good hot meal and a long hot soak in a bath when they win a contest.  It’s just food and water, but they act like they were being showered with gold.

So what’s the big take-away from the show? Well, how to survive, of course.  The two basics: stay positive and stay warm.

If you’re not warm when you sleep, you’ll wake up tired.  If you’re tired, your attitude will suffer and your decision-making skills will suffer. It’s all down hill from there.

The corollary to staying warm means staying dry whenever possible.

Here’s where creativity comes in to play.  Since I’m a semi-pyromaniac, I’m fascinated by fire building challenges.  Apparently there’s so much creosote or other flammable elements in so many things in nature, you can build yourself a fire with little but a flint and a knife –even if it’s raining and everything is wet.

Stay dry also meant building effective shelters at night.  Again, people were not as creative as they could have been in exploiting near by materials.  Branches, leaves, ferns, grass and even snow are all excellent insulators.  You lose heat through the ground, so one barrier on the bottom is worth two on top.

Stay dry or get nekkid.

Staying dry meant being cautious about getting wet.  Two contestants never seemed to learn this lesson–they’ll probably regret it for a long time to come.

What do you think your greatest challenge would be if you were lost in the wild somewhere and had to survive?  Leave a comment below.

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Hauntingly Beautiful: Mrs. Poe

by Elizabeth Shore

There’s nothing quite like the heartache of an illicit love affair. The clandestine meetings, the stolen kisses, the longing that lovers have for one another whenever they’re apart. Throw in 19th century societal restrictions and the most famous writer of the time and you’ve got the makings for one heck of a book. Enter, Mrs. Poe.

To be clear, whether the love affair that’s the basis for the story ever actually existed is a subject of debate, and there seems to be more evidence supporting its falsity than its fact. But, whatever. The book isn’t claiming to be a scholarly discourse and shouldn’t be treated as such.  What is known for certain is this:  poet Frances Osgood met Edgar Allan Poe in the spring of 1845. Poe’s poem, The Raven, had come out in January to instant success and Poe was, at that time, the talk of the town. Frances was a married woman; Poe was a married man. They engaged in a “literary flirtation” in the pages of the Broadway Journal. But as far as any actual affair goes, that is a matter of speculation. Oh, but what fun speculation it is in the pages of Mrs. Poe.

Author Lynn Cullen immerses us in an authentic feel of old New York. The detail she brings to the story adds a depth to the pages that just sucks you right in and doesn’t let go. The story is beautifully atmospheric; you feel like you’re walking along those energetic, smelly, crowded, vibrant New York streets right along with Frances Osgood. You see the pigs and chickens rooting around 14th street. You see the shocking poverty in the city juxtaposed with frequent references to John Jacob Astor. You meet the literary characters of the time: Louisa Alcott, P.T. Barnum, Walt Whitman, Samuel Morse, Ralph Waldo Emerson. There are many others introduced as well, and we feel like a time traveler being allowed to drop in on the great poets, writers, and thinkers of that time.

Along with the atmosphere, of course, is the focus of the book, which is the affair between Frances Osgood and Edgar Allan Poe. Who knows if they were actually lovers, if they actually had the intense, emotional, aching affair that Ms. Cullen imagines. But they could have, and that’s really the point. If they’d had an affair, here’s what it would have been like, Ms. Cullen tells us. Poe was known for his temper, his scathing criticisms, his excessive drinking. That’s all part of the story. But what really makes this book interesting – the element that grabs you by the jugular and hangs on tight –  is the triangular relationship among Poe, Frances Osgood, and Poe’s young wife, Virginia, his first cousin whom he married when she was just thirteen. (yikes!)

The relationship between Frances and Virginia starts out pleasantly enough but devolves into intrigue and revenge when Virginia suspects that her husband and Frances have become lovers. Despite being stricken with tuberculosis that would eventually kill her, young Virginia’s not going down without a fight.  She’s like foxglove – beautiful on the surface but poisonous beneath. I really enjoy how author Cullen weaves together so many intriguing elements into one seamless story. The fierce yet secret love between Poe and Frances just tears at your heart, and Frances is terribly conflicted about it throughout the book. She doesn’t want to destroy Poe’s marriage or her own, for that matter (her husband, at least in the book, is a relentless philanderer who regularly abandons his wife and children for months at a time). She and Poe are soul mates but destined to love that which they cannot have.

Yes, there are elements of the story that I had trouble with, but not enough to have taken away from this beautiful, romantic, heartbreakingly wonderful story. Mrs. Poe is out on October 1. Let yourself get swept away.

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“Call the Midwife” Obsession

By Liz Everly

I’ve been watching the PBS series “Call the Midwife” and I love it so much that I read the book on which it’s based. As I have been watching and reading, I could not help ruminate a little about the story elements to the series and why they work so well.

“Call the Midwife” is a series based on the true-life experiences of 22-year-old nurse and midwife (Jennifer Worth) in the late 1950s. She was stationed with nuns all serving the impoverished areas of London. Part of my fascination with the show is that it gives a completely new perspective on the time period with very personal stories. The writers of the series don’t shy away from some of the gritty tales–but it’s done in a very classy way.

This is a “story” lesson I remind myself about often. As an erotic romance writer, I think the details I leave out are as important as the juicy details I write. Sometimes four pages of a sex scene is overkill. I definitely feel that way as a reader as well. Sometimes, it’s just right. Same thing with the suspense elements—do I really need those gory details? As a writer, knowing when to pull back or shoot forward makes all the difference.

“Call the Midwife” brings up issues like incest, prostitution, and abuse from these nuns and midwives perspective, which is sometimes surprising. For example, in the case of incest, a brother and sister who were separated by the workhouse at very young ages and found each other years later and lived together as husband and wife. The nuns knew of the relationship. The main nurse character was furious when she found out. But the nuns offered no judgment. Only that there was love in the house the couple shared. It was extremely well done and thought provoking.

As an erotic romance writer (and reader), I’m attracted to the drama of the midwives being in the midst of emotion and important life and death issues.  I try to evoke this in my writing. Love. Sex. Heartache. Terror. Fear. These are important, write-worthy moments. Erotic romance writers are in the thick of it, but in a different way.

Throughout the series there are a number of these kinds of issues. Each time the show leaves me in awe. When I get frustrated about a number of feminist issues these days, it’s good to think of how far we’ve come—else I blow a gasket or something. This was 1958. Not that long ago. Thank the universe for birth control and all of the many, many freedoms it afforded women. Many of the women of the day in that area of London were having ten or twelve babies and living in squalor.

One of the other things I love about the series is how innocent everything and everybody seemed on one level—most of the young nurses, midwives, and nuns were virgins with no lover in sight. And yet, there are moments you wonder about the truth of their virginity. Also, while there was all this innocence on one level, they were dealing with so many harsh realities as midwives. A seamy underside of London where nothing was innocent.

I love this, probably more than any other facet to the story-building. Sure, it’s based on a non-fiction life story. But it could have come off way differently. The interplay between innocence and harsh reality adds texture and depth and it hooks me every time.

Oh and I can’t even begin to tell you what endearing, quirky characters are in this series. That would be the subject of another post.

Of course, the main character has a love interest. But here’s the kicker. She loved someone once that she couldn’t have and is pining for him–while this OTHER gorgeous young man practically does head stands for her attention. It doesn’t work out. He eventually tires of waiting for her. I’ve not read all the books or seen the entire series. But I am wondering how she fares in romance. Her bio says she does marry. But I wonder if she marries “Jimmy” or the man in her past. Or maybe a new man?

I gave that some thought: unrequited love is a powerful element in creating tension, isn’t it? I mean, here I am wondering about who it is that she actually married. I wonder how many other followers are wondering the same thing?

Think about the midwife as a story vehicle–and is there really a better one to get at the guts of life stories?  If you’ve not seen this series, please check it out. It will leave you spellbound. Any other fans out there?

Lena Headey: Leading Lady & Queen of the Damned

by Madeline Iva

Doesn’t she look a little like Keira Knightly?

When you see an actor in a tiny role or without Hollywood shouting out their name at you they rarely stand out.  Yet some people just have that magic and you’re watching a film when you suddenly say to yourself: Hey! Who’s that?

I had this experience with Lena Headey at least three times and never realized it.

-when she was in THE REMAINS OF THE DAY

-when she was in THE BROTHERS GRIMM — and I kept wondering who the Keira Knightly look-a-like was.

-and when she was in 300 and she seemed totally familiar — but that was because I was watching her at home on  THE SARAH CONNOR CHRONICLES and never made the connection.  One was contemporary, one was “historical” and I put some big quotation marks around historical.  In one she had her American accent on, in the other she got to intone and chew her words like a fine Shakespearean actress, only without quite as much spitting as Gerard Butler.

A cross between Poe’s Raven and Cassandra, Sarah Connor is a pre-post-apocalyptic soccer mom in desperate need of some Paxil.

She was pretty good as Gorgon in a movie I roll my eyes at, but she was very good in THE SARAH CONNOR CHRONICLES playing an utterly thankless role.  That series tries to imagine how John Connor –the character from Terminator–goes from being a boy to becoming a man and a leader.   The answer is not easy, and his mother is like some cross between Poe’s Raven and Cassandra –while at the same time she’s trying to be his mother, feeling so much guilt about raising her boy up in a doomed world.  It’s a pre-post-apocalyptic L.A. they wander around in–which is a neat trick to pull off, making the sunlight and carefree glitter seemed drenched in gloom and this-is-all-going-up-in-flames prophecy.

The series was fairly short lived, but in that time they packed in some awesome story lines: and Lena Headey didn’t get any of them.  Yet what sense of sadness and gloom was created was done almost totally by her whenever she was on screen.  It’s a strange gift–to convey world destruction with a small crease between your eyebrows.

It’s okay that she fulfilled her thankless role in SCC, because it gave her the American TV experience so she was ready to stomp all over GAME OF THRONES as Circe.  I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again that she helps to add a wonderful dimension to Circe’s character, and she’s so perfect for the role — very very cruel and very very beautiful at the same time. Yet put upon in a way that any smart woman can relate to.

Circe. As cruel as she is beautiful.

Lately I enjoyed her with full realization of exactly who she was when she showed up in the movie DREDD. She played yet another Villainess with a capital ‘V’ — this time it was queen of the ‘hood Ma-Ma.

It’s said a book or movie is only as good as its villain–and Ma-Ma raised DREDD up by several notches.

Headey is one of those actresses who seems tall, but isn’t.  She has all these photos on the internet of her lookin’ fine, but she’s never-never-never gonna be one of those who is considered a ‘babe’ or sex object.  And that’s okay with me, because her personality walks into the room about five paces before she does.  She is a woman of power, my friends.

This is Ma-Ma, bad gal in DREDD.

She brings  a whole world with her when she walks on a set — and that world is usually not a happy place.   She is an actress born to play rulers and leaders in a world that’s still not wholly comfortable with that–thus she winds up over and over again as some sort of Queen of the Damned.  One who may never have good luck, but who doesn’t give up and who will always get her followers to do what they set out to do.  There’s something admirable in that.  History is full of complicated male leaders–I think we need some complicated female ones.

I like watching her.  She occupies an uneasy place, but the way she does it makes it seem pretty cool.  It’s interesting that her powers seem to fit more in imaginary or legendary worlds than in our real one — but that’s why sci-fi/fantasy is so cool.  If we’re still not ready for it in the real world– we are at least playing it out in imaginary ones.

Loyal wife, blah-blah-blah, but pretty much the only one left alive at the end of the last movie.

Even so, I was a little surprised to see her leading out the men in 300 the sequel.

300 has such a strong stink of testosterone, it just fascinates boy-men, mesmerizing them like catnip does cats.  The new film looks like a whole lot more of the same — but if everyone is dead at the end of the first film what are you going to do for the sequel? It definitely makes sense that they trot out Queen Gorgon.  She could lead the men into battle with one hand tied behind her back.

Hey, if the laced sandal fits.

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Sexy Saturday Round-Up

Photo by Dollen

Hello, Sexy! The Lady Smut blogger have been scouring the Internets just for YOU. Sit back, relax, and read some of our favorite posts from this week.

From Liz:

The latest erotic book that stores are refusing to carry: Tampa.

Do we really want our men to be heroes?

Zoe Archer’s tips for becoming a romance author.

Action and reaction as building blocks in your writing.

Is wearing a weave sinful?

Sleep in history.

From Madeline:

Class listen up! This is going to be on the test: Roleplay 101 from Tracy Cooper Posey.

I’m just a beard: A history of beards in the workplace.

It’s not you–it’s…um….Jezebel asks “How Nice Does A Woman Have To Be To A Guy She Rejects?”

Courtney Milan does Self publishing Math.

From Two History Girls: How to sell a wife in 1787. 

From Elizabeth:

Like looking at naked celebrities? Here are 47 unforgettable nude scenes.

Fall in lust with your own body.

Getting excited about the upcoming new season of Saturday Night Live? Here are the four new featured players.

Oops! 15 things we gals do that apparently turn guys off.

Worried that you may be past your sexual peak? Fear not! Turns out it’s just a load of crap.

For those who miss The Borgias, Sarah’s HIstory blog offers a great post on all those paintings in the opening credits. Beautiful.

from CMK:

Varying your writing by Leigh Russell

My publisher’s offering a free dessert cookbook.

Noble Romance shuts down, returning rights to authors.

Stay Hungry,

Liz

Obsessions

by C. Margery Kempe

We are focused on obsessions this week. I’m afraid mine are all a bit strange and not really in keeping with our sexy romance ambiance. One of my biggest obsessions is the Manchester band The Fall, which I’ve written about one or two times or maybe lots. I have taken lots of titles from the music for my noir stories and other projects — not romance so far, but they’re not much on the sexy end of the spectrum. More the cranky end. Great lyrics and the band leader is so sui generis that if you look up iconoclast in the dictionary, it’s got Mark E. Smith’s face.

Speaking of noir, that’s another obsession. Femmes fatales and laconic PIs, gloomy streets and smoldering cigarettes: I love it all. I write a lot of it too, as well as read it. Love the films and the novels. While it tends to be thought of a ‘masculine’ sort of genre, there are some great female practitioners like Patricia Highsmith, Dorothy Hughes and Elizabeth Sanxay Holding. I’m off to Bouchercon next month (as is fellow blogger Liz Everly) and I’ll be talking about pulp and noir as well as promoting a couple of collections I edited (these!).

What else? At the moment me and a certain 8 year old are both obsessed with Plants vs. Zombies 2. I’m not much of a gamer, but the original game was so much fun and so adorable, how could I resist. And they were putting out video updates that ramped up the anticipation with tantalising details. There’s a time travel theme, so you go from ancient Egypt to the Pirate heyday and finally to the Old West. There are even more hilarious zombies and crazy flowers: my current favourite is the Snapdragon who shoots flames.

Classic British Comedy has been an obsession of mine since childhood and the funniest man who ever drew breath is still my icon above all others. A lot of Americans don’t know who Peter Cook is by name, but Princess Bride fans at least know him for his pronunciation of “Mawwiage!” He was clever, sharp, handsome and so very witty. I modeled my dapper villain in the first Chastity Flame novel after him. Here’s one of my favourite bits:

And of course, my one real obsession is always always always writing. I write under four different names in several different genres (sometimes all at the same time, d’oh!), but I’m pretty much always writing or thinking about writing as Ionesco would say. That’s my obsession that all the others fuel!

KickAss2: The Crush Continues

This is so wrong

by Madeline Iva

Hi Lambchops!

Madeline here with more perseverating over KickAss2.

There are four major reasons to become obsessed with Kick Ass nation.

1) AARON TAYLOR JOHNSON: There are a few interesting things about ATJ.

A) Watching him in Kick Ass (the first movie) can make you feel a wee bit woogie.  Why? Because at 19 he’s enough younger than myself *cough* that I have decidedly lecher-ish feelings for him.  Eeesh.  Taylor Lautner never made me feel that way.  I could sit back and watch him with Bella and whatever.

I have a man-chest now.

I’m still facing down the echo of that feeling for ATJ in KickAss2–though at 24 he’s left behind boyish wrestler fit to join the ranks of beef cake drool-dom.  Watch out Wolverine.

Except like Wool-verine movies (I’m still rolling my eyes over the bear one)  KICKASS2 the movie doesn’t deliver the same charismatic punch that Kick Ass the character promises.

This is probably because on the most basic level, Kick Ass the character also doesn’t seem to have figured out anything at all in the sequel.  Sad, really.  More on the movie below—BEWARE: plot spoilers abound.

What a squiffy little mustache you have Aaron!

Another interesting thing about ATJ (did I mention he’s British?) is that he is so riveting in geeked-out form — but I blinked and missed him in SAVAGES.  That was a forgettable film with Salma Hayek and some other cool actors.

He was hippy-d out in that film and…my panty meter scored nada. Zero hotness registered for Aaron decked out in white-boy dreadlocks.

Now he’s filming something right now –GODZILLA according to IMBD — but I can already tell he’s going to be sex-appeal challenged in that film.  Why?

Because he’s sporting a close buzz shave.

Who is this? Yes, it’s still Aaron Taylor Johnson.

Interesting fact B) I think Aaron Taylor Johnson needs hair to act.  I really do.  And it’s gotta be the right sort of hair.

He looked good in ANNA KARENINA where he sported a funky little mustache.  He’s a Sampson, my pretties.  Shave those love locks, (or dread them) and his charisma goes right down the drain.

Interesting fact C) what kept me on the edge of wrong/right angst about Aaron Taylor Johnson is that he married someone about 20 years older.

So he likes older women is what I’m saying.

Defying the world to live in cougar nation, they now have two kids together and two more of her own.

They appear happy, and Mrs. Kick Ass–aka Sam Taylor Wood–is apparently going to be directing 50 Shades of Grey.  Wonder who she’s casting as the lead?

Ultimately, I think ATJ is one of those guys who’s a character actor in a leading man’s body.  He needs a character like Kick Ass to wiggle around in, and the hotness by-product is just a bonus for us ladies.

Chloe Grace Moretz has hit puberty since this still from the first film. But Hit Girl lives on in my heart as a girl, not a tweener or a teen or a woman. A Bad-ass little girl.

2) HIT GIRL — the character

Has the purple motorcycle replaced the pony in a little girl’s heart? I think it has.

Hit girl has hair I want, the attitude I want, and the major kick-butt skills I want. She was sadly underutilized in the film. The best moment I thought was when she was indoctrinated into tweener/teen girl lust.

This was accomplished by means of a boy band video where Hit Girl discovers that a) Boys Have Chests and b) We Feel Funny Things When We Look at Their Chests.   Her eyes about bugged out of her head at that point.

I was loving it. Half a movie later Kick Ass takes off his shirt and oh snap–Hit Girl has discovered sex.

But her surprise is quickly hidden and the movie races onward going nowhere fast.  :(  Ptooey.

This film just did not know what to do with the extra-competent Hit Girl.  Hit Girl was all bound up from acting by these artificial constraints.  Ugh.  The film let her flounder and fester with that whole Not-Knowing-Who-You-Are-Where-You-Fit-In angst.  Which blows.

I certainly had the hostility and aggression of Hit Girl when I was that age, and let me tell you, I was not an insecure bag of uncertainty.  Hit Girl celebrates the dynamo force that some females are born with — and these females do not suffer fools lightly.  They don’t give a rat’s ass about fitting in — so I didn’t buy this movie trope for one instant.

More theories below about why they went this path.

Kick Ass was even more uncertain.  I mean–what gives with all the wishy-washiness? Grrrr.

3) CHLOE GRACE MORETZ –the actress I’m obsessed with her.

Can’t wait for CARRIE to come out.

He’s a lover not a fighter. Look at those wavy locks.

However — my theory about why Hit Girl was left to flounder in KickAss2 is because Chole is turning into more of an A-Lister than the movie, than Aaron Taylor Johnson, and the Kick Ass franchise.

I wondered if they kept her out of the way for a lot of the movie simply because she was less available. At the end *SPOILER ALERT* they send her off for no very good reason like she’s leaving the franchise or will be replaced by another actress…hmmm.  My conspiracy theories abound.

4) CHEMISTRY BETWEEN KICK ASS & HIT GIRL

Here’s what the first Kick Ass film did right: It took a quirky and uneasy edge of real-world-dom incompetence and applied it to the comic book milieu.

When it got violent, (and it did frequently) it surprised us with its violence.  Like the little girl just causing blood and mayhem everywhere.

The movie also gave us solid great characters.  Not just Kick Ass and Hit Girl, but Kick Ass’s friends were fun too, as well as Red Mist, the high school would be super-villian.   There were surprising moments between the characters that made the movie so much fun.

So sweet.

At the same time Kick Ass was getting some bootie from a girlfriend almost as much as he was getting the crap beat out of him on an upsettingly regular basis.  He displayed a sweet heroism that was almost on par with upsetting tragedy.

So that’s what the first film got right. In the second film we still have great characters, but a lot more violence.  In defense of the director and screenwriter they actually toned it down from the comic (eeesh.)  But the violence didn’t have that edge of surprise anymore.  It was just the yawn-worthy usual blood and gore.

There was a great chemistry to the characters in the first film –there was little to no chemistry in the second film, sadly. Only when the youthful villain MotherF***** accidentally kills his mother.  Then while going through her things post-funeral he discovers and ultimately dons her secret BDSM costume that was hidden in her closet.  Yes!!!!!

Suddenly we felt l that marvelous frisson of shame/embarrassment and What-The-Hell  that we felt from the first film.  Alas, it was a fleeting moment. IF ONLY they’d built on that moment and struck hard in the same way about the relationship between Kick Ass and Hit Girl.

See, in the first film it would have been SO WRONG for Kick Ass–a high school senior to like high school freshman HIT GIRL.  (If for no other reason Chloe hadn’t hit puberty yet and that  8 year difference between the actors was very apparent.)

However in real life Chloe Grace Moretz is now 16 and Aaron Taylor Johnson is now 24.  In the movie they play senior and freshman.  In fact, at one point high school students think they’re knocking boots.  They give Kick Ass and Hit Girl plenty of guff.  But there it is — it’s on the table.

Yet the movie doesn’t ever pick it up and run with it. If they had — it definitely would have brought more edge to the film.

Oh, and what’s worse they tease you with it.  One of the best moments in the film was when Hit Girl sees Kick Ass’s chest (he’s so ripped too — how could someone not goggle at the sight of it?) Again Hit Girl goes through that shocking equasion: IF A=Kick Ass is a Boy + B= Boys Have Chests + C=Chests Cause Disturbing Feelings THEN CONCLUSION: I Think I Now Have Disturbing Feelings for Kick Ass.

They should have run with this! If only because what they offered up instead was so very meh. In the end, I still love the main characters in Kick Ass.

But with lagging action and indecisive plotting, the second movie did not live up to it’s illustrious name.

Smelling All Men!

by Elizabeth Shore

Why is it in romances that when we read descriptions of how the hero smells it’s basically down to one of three choices: smoke, leather, or the woods. And generally, those scents are said to be the hero’s own, naturally emanating from his pores like a magical sweet-smelling sweat.

Guys in romances rarely wear cologne; perhaps it just doesn’t seem manly. However, a Men’s Fitness article I read recently listed ten men’s fragrances that are “guaranteed” (so says the article) to drive their women wild. So I wonder, if we’re all going wild from a guy’s fragrance, how come he’s not spritzing it on in our stories?

According to perfumerflavorist.com, which says it’s the “technical and business media source” for the industry, the global perfume market will reach $45.6B by 2018. Admittedly the dominant source for that growth is the women’s market, but nonetheless the article states that perfumers are seeing the “men’s fragrance segment beginning to witness strong growth patterns.”

Hmm. OK. So guys apparently are buying fragrance, some of them anyway, and if they’re wearing the right stuff they’re driving us wild. So then what exactly is this right stuff making us gals so crazed? A spokeswoman for a company that develops fragrances and who is cited in the Men’s Fitness article says that what we want to smell on our men are “rich scents with dark woods, warming spices, and amber notes in them.”

That would seem to explain the smoke, leather, and woods smells that are so often ascribed to heroes in romance novels. But I’m still thinking about my original musing, which is why aren’t our heroes dabbing on manufactured scent in our books? Is is only manly to smell good if it’s natural?

I have to admit that I like it when I catch a hint of a guy’s cologne. Living in the NYC area, when I’m on the packed subway I often find myself wedged between people like sardines in a can. Being in such close quarters subjects one to the scent of others, be it good, bad, or “pass the barf bag” revolting. On the occasions when it’s the warm amber note of some guy’s cologne making its way to my olfactory senses, it’s a turn-on. Not just because I’m smelling cologne instead of BO,  but the scent itself triggers interest in the wearer.

Guys definitely seem to be on the bandwagon for endorsing fragrance. Plenty of male celebrities have launched men’s cologne, including Usher, 50 Cent, David Beckham, Antonio Banderas, and Tim McGraw, to name a few. I don’t know whether the products are any good or not but again, as far as I’m concerned, it beats BO hands down.

Any historical romance writer knows that late 18th and early 19th centuries, especially in Britain, saw the omnipresence of the dandy, that rather narcissistic, self-absorbed man who was meticulous in all matter of things related to personal grooming. One would assume that fragrance played a role in the dandy’s daily toilette, which leads me to wonder if maybe our historical heroes abstained from applying fragrance because it seemed too . . . let’s just put it out there . . . gay?

When it comes right down to it, could it be that a romance novel hero would simply come off as effeminate if he spritzed on some Eau de Usher? Does masculinity get compromised if our hero’s scent comes from any other source besides his own magical pores?

What do you all think? To spritz or not to spritz, that is the question. I’d love to hear the answers!

Top Ten Obsessions

By Liz Everly

Madeline Iva wrote about the ten things she was obsessed about yesterday. So I decided to take a stab at it. Here’s what I’ve been obsessed with lately:

Call the Midwife. I became hooked on this PBS series about midwives and nuns in impoverished neighborhoods in London in the late 1950s. When I found out it was based on a true story, I became even more obsessed. I’ve gotten the first book and want to read more. As a storyteller, few opportunities to hone in on the human experience can top being a midwife, let alone in a community like this one. Fair warning: you will probably cry whether you read the book or see the series. I’ll write a bit more about this in my post next week.
Art journals. I love to scrapbook and have done it for several years. But art journals have recently taken hold of me—this sort of cross between images and words. I’ve bought my own sketch book and can’t wait to get started. My obsession so far has been mainly in looking at them. Now it’s time to try it!
Pesto. On pasta. On tomato sandwiches. On pizza. And yes even toast. (Now, c’mon, wouldn’t you know food would make it into my list of obsessions?)
And blackberries. I have been tending a little patch for years and this year it’s gone wild. I’ve made pies, smoothies, and had berries in my oatmeal. Now, I’m thinking about making jam.
Stevie Nicks. I’ve been to see her in concert several times. I LOVE her. I’ve been seeing her around a lot lately and she rocks my world. The High Priestess of rock and Roll. Yes, indeed.
That 70s Show. Okay, I used to watch it on a regular basis. Now my kids are watching it. It’s a funny show—but a bit nostalgic for me. I used to relate to the character Donna. Now, you know who I relate to the most? Kitty! The mother character in the show. She takes care of her motherly and wifely business—but is no pushover. And she enjoys her wine. She is awesome. But I love the opening song and the way they treat it. Click here to see it.
House of Cards, the Netflix version. I saw the British House of Cards several years ago and enjoyed it. Now there is an American version and of course, it’s quite different because the political mechanisms are so different. But it’s so amazingly good—the writing, the acting, well everything. Then there’s Kevin Spacey, an intriguing and sexy guy, though not overly sexy. Do you know what I mean? The woman who play his wife Robin Wright Penn is much more sexy—and definitely a fine actress.
Yoga. I’ve had a major love affair with yoga off and on for years. At one point, I taught class once a week. Then I started running, which took over. But these days, I’m finding my way back to my Yoga practice and it’s taking over.
Bram Stoker and Dracula. I picked up a book at the local library that looked fascinating “Who was Dracula? Bram Stoker’s Trail of Blood” by Jim Steinmeyer. It’s gotten me to think about these characters who are so imbedded into our culture that they just keep resurfacing in many forms and venues. Sherlock Holmes is another one. The book has really delved into Bram Stoker’s influences.
Arrested Development. Once again Netflix-produced. (I’m noticing a trend here in my TV-watching.) If you’ve not seen the TV show, you should probably start at the beginning, then watch the newest version. But my editor was right when he said it was brilliantly done, especially the way all of the threads come together at the end. And what can I say about Jason Batemen?

I’m In a Mood: My Top 10 Obsessions, Aug 2013

I’m in a mood people.  I like what I like, I love what I love.  So sue me if I’m all over the place, from movies, to art, to books, to (where my mind should be) on writing butt kicking erotic romance.   Today let me share with you my mood, and my obsessions.  Later, when I get over myself, I’ll break it all down into the why’s and wherefores of who’s inspiring.

Here’s my hit list:

1) KICK ASS & AARON TAYLOR JOHNSON

I could not wait for KICK ASS2 to come out. I went, I saw, I came away obsessed.

I’m having quite an Aaron Taylor Johnson fanatic fan moment as a result of seeing it.

More on that Thursday.  For now I’ll just say that it feels so wrong/so right.

2 JOAN JETT

More often than not these days her music is creeping back into our soundscape.  I want to be her, I want to live her music.

I want to be the girl that plays her guitar and then smashes people over the head with it, etc. (Not that she ever did that.  If anyone ever was the classy queen of the 80′s rock beat, it was Joan.)

3 HIT GIRL

Hit Girl, you are  officially my idol now.

While the KICK ASS2  movie is all over the place—check in on Thursday, when I’ll have a review–I have a solid conspiracy theory about how Hit Girl’s character played out & why the KICK ASS2 plot unravelled the way it did.

I’ll also share in a raging fan fic moment the story arc I would have done between Hit Girl and Kick Ass in KICK ASS2.  It’s what you might call a plot-spoiler-counter-plot.

4 LENA HEADEY

She’s mega-awesome.

She needs her own blog post from me.  Really, why haven’t I done this already?

5 EVA GREEN

Where have you been Eva?  So glad that you didn’t sink into a Bond-girl worm hole after playing Vespa in Casino Royal.

Eva and Lena are in the sequel to 300 — a very iconic awesome/disgusting film.  Will have to talk about it and the sequel and its impact on American boys, their sense of masculinity, etc.  soon.

6 LABYRINTH

I think a story (unpublished yet) by C.M.Kempe has thrown me back into my obsession with this amazing film.

 Everyone still seems to know it–even folk who weren’t born when it came out.   David Bowie as Goblin King blows me away along with the ephemeral ball scene – I just can’t get it out of my head.

7 FAV J.R.WARD CHARACTERS

Rhage, Rehvenge, John Matthew & Xhex,  Qhinn & Blaylock.  Rawr.  It’s not even how their overwhelming urges and passion plays out.  Sometimes it’s the possibility of how their rough n tough love might play out that makes me so incredibly happy.

8 COVERS FOR LAURANN DOHNER BOOKS

This one is my fav –

Normally I would say I’m not so into beefy guys, but (see Kick Ass2 on Thurs) lately, something has turned my head, and these covers are delicious.

9 RED VELVET & ABSINTHE – I like what they say here: “Although the greats such as Bram Stoker, Edgar Allan Poe, and Daphne du Maurier are long dead, these contemporary authors keep the Gothic spirit alive…” Nice!

It’s a paranormal erotic romance short story collection.  There’s a story by my favorite erotic romance author Charlotte Stein included.  More discussion to come.

10 PRB & THEIR MUSES – No, not Paps Blue Ribbon–I mean the Pre-Raphealite Brotherhood.  Where would they be without their iconic muses/models/lovers?  Henrietta Garnett has written a book called WIVES AND STUNNERS.

In it we get the fascinating over the top dramatic lives these people lived as they broke the laws of Victorian culture like they were so much tinder–then heaped the flames high.  I especially relate to the depictions of Rosetti’s crazy home life and writing no routine/no routine —that’s me right now!