Liz Everly's Blog, page 145

Sexy Saturday Round-Up

By Liz Everly and the Lady Smut Bloggers

Photo by Dollen.

Hello, sexy! Whew, what a week! I’m so glad to see Saturday sometimes. How about you? The Lady Smut Bloggers have been digging hard this week to find you the most informative, fascinating blog posts we could find. Happy Saturday!

From Liz:

The heroines you love to hate.

From Jane Friedman: Is Self-publishing the most important transformation in the publishing industry?

A fabulous blog about prostitution. The Honest Courtesan. You don’t want to miss this one, folks.

From Elizabeth:

Drink more water – have better orgasms! This and other interesting sex facts.

Getting naughty with art history.

From CMK:

The NYTimes attempts to write about sex.

Anne R. Allen offers advice for authors to stay safe in the sometimes dangerous waters of social media.

Annabel Smith on Not Making a Living from Writing.

From Madeline Iva:

New wave in stupid body obsessions: The Thigh Gap

History of The Little Black Dress.

Body language do’s and don’ts.

New Trends in Sex Therapy. (Ignore how it takes interviewer the first 30 sec. just to ask the question)

So you’re going to go there? Helpful tips from Sugarbutch for Strapping On For the First Time 

Q: Am I missing out on all the fun? A: Yes.  Here’s the remedy: Instructions on How To Throw A Foam Party

Stay Hungry,

Liz

P.S. Don’t forget to subscribe to Lady Smut!

Where No Penis Dare Go

By C. Margery Kempe

Because I recently finished writing M/M/M ménage I suppose it was inevitable to have permutations of penises in my head, but somehow outside my head there does seem to be an explosion (d’oh!) of strange penis-related stories about just now.

Or maybe they’re always there and I’m just noticing them more at the moment. If you know anyone in the health care industry, doubtless you’ve got more stories of the ribald and racy kind. My friend [name redacted]‘s husband has delighted in showing us X-rays of the things he’s had to pry out of people. “Guess what happened today?” he says with eager glee and whips out his phone to show us. It can be anything: “Look, staple gun accident!” or “This started as a bet.” He always takes before, during and after photos.

Wow.

XKCD has had enough of this!

I don’t know if the epic Mumsnet “Penis Beaker” story has made it across the pond yet, but it’s certainly entertained a lot if people, whose reactions range from horror to disgust to helpless laughter.

But wait — as they say on infomercials — there’s more! In fact, there always seems to be more.

How about this: penis in toaster?! That may be the best “places not to put your penis” story ever.

But what of penis-terrorism? Surely that’s what all men worry about on a daily basis (what Freud couldn’t bring himself to really say). Your worry has not been in vain; they really are after your penis. Well, one rugby player is.

Okay, maybe after that story you need a special kind of unicorn chaser: how about this? Fun things to do with your penis.

Do you have any favourite ‘unusual places for a penis’ stories?

Tricky Treats: Trying Out A Different Flavor of BDSM

By Madeline Iva

Hola, mi amigos y amigas! Inspired by Elizabeth Shore’s sex toy posting from yesterday, I say let’s explore some more and go where we haven’t been before.

Here are some fun recommendations I pulled out of my plastic pumpkin just for you!

A DIFFERENT KIND OF BDSM:  Yeah, yeah, yeah, we’ve read m/m BDSM written by and for women, and BDSM where the guy’s almost always dominant and the woman’s almost always a sassy sub—but what about the other flavors of BDSM out there? I’m not talking pony play or anything like that, I’m just saying what’s gay BDSM for you know, actual lesbians really like?

And hey! How about letting the man be submissive for once?

Well, my little hamsters, here are some reading recs that explore a different kind of kinky flavorfulness:

SAY PLEASE is an anthology of lesbian BDSM erotica.  The cover is to die.

DOMINATRIX FANTASY is a trilogy (on sale!) by Shoshanna Evers about a guy who digs into his submissive side after getting a sudden sexual rush when waiting upon a put together older woman at a restaurant.

Nothing beats a dominatrix. (Forgive the pun.)

And in mentioning male sub BDSM, I know my friend Nara Malone will kill me if I don’t also give a plug for  The Vampire Queen’s Servant. This book  is a classic by Joey H. Hill.  (Not for the faint of heart though–but those who love it really L-O-V-E it if you know what I mean.  And I think you do.)

VQS. Accept no substitutes. (The romance doesn’t wrap up until the second book tho.)

Meanwhile, HUZZAH to Ellora’s Cave!  Long ago (last year?) I bitched about how they had a “Reubenesque” theme for their erotic romances, (which is good) but only about two or so of the five covers had curvy women on them.  (Bad, very bad!) They now have a new series called CURVE APPEAL.  The covers are enticing, sexy, and YES! actually feature curvy women on them. Check it out, Syd. 

This is what I found at Loose Id — looks good, kittens!

Finally over at Samhain this chilling little free read caught my eye and got plunked into my TBR pile.  Award for best creepy horror cover of the month goes to: THE GIRL FROM THE BLOOD COVEN.  No, it’s not romance or erotica (at least I don’t think it is) but I don’t care.  I want to be a girl from a blood coven… or at least go as one as for halloween. ;>

Best. Scary. Cover. Evah!

So what are you waiting for? Click on those photo covers for the links to Amazon and get reading! I’ll meet you at the bonfire later, campers. (Hey what’s that metallic scratching noise on the roof of my car?)

P.S. Follow our blog.  Don’t make me beg you.

Step Aside, Buttplug: There’s A New Sheriff In Town

by Elizabeth Shore

Ah . . the joys of sex toys! Fun to play with, fun to write about. They’re to an erotic romance author what props are to an actor. They add detail to the story and give the performers something to do with their hands. heh . .

But in our tech-saturated world where the latest gadgets come and go, I started wondering whether the same could be said about sex toys. Are any new ones being made these days? We know about dildos, whips, butt plugs, and handcuffs, but what about other interesting devices we writers could use to enhance the fun for our characters?

With those and other burning questions in mind, your intrepid Lady Smut author grabbed a friend and ventured forth into some New York City sex shops over the weekend to do a little research. Our first stop: Eve’s Garden. This is like a little sex shop oasis in the middle of NYC. You’d never know it’s there unless you know it’s there. Located in a nondescript high-rise in midtown, you could just as easily be visiting a friend’s apartment or seeing your dentist in this building. There’s no advertising, no signs, no nothing. Once you reach the door there’s just a discreet little sign letting you know you’ve reached the right place. Walk in and enter a clean, friendly, and rather upscale well-stocked store that seems to cater mostly to women, although there is plenty of fun shopping for couples.

We asked one of the friendly sales women there to show us what’s new, and our first order of business was the We Vibe 3. This handy little device was actually written up Business Week, and for good reason. There’s a lot to love about it. First off, It’s designed for dual stimulation of a woman. One end is inserted to touch the g-spot, leaving the other end to stimulate the (ahem) outside lady part. It vibrates away and leaves a gal feeling downright yummy. But the cool thing about this one is that it’s meant to be used for couples while they’re doing the deed. The guy just slips in beneath the little device so he can feel the vibrations right along with his gal. There are six different types of vibrations which are handy for different position. What positions, you might ask? Fear not! The makers of the We Vibe 3 have an online playbook! It’s also waterproof and the rechargeable batteries charge with a USB plug. There are just no excuses for your hero and heroine not to have a deliciously good time with this handy device.

But wait, there’s more! Named in this month’s issue of Men’s Health as the best new sex toy of 2013, I give you the Hello Touch finger vibe. The friendly folks at NYC’s The Pleasure Chest were kind enough to model it for my friend and me. The little finger pads easily strap on and the controls are mounted to the user’s wrist so the hands are left free to roam. The wearer can press and stimulate as hard or as lightly as he wants – or as she demands, whatever the case may be.

So now, let’s talk about dildos. You think you’ve seen them all, right? Small ones, big ones, those that can easily fit in a purse, slim ones that have a cap looking like a lipstick for added discretion. But what you might not have seen is this: the Stronic Eins pulsating dildo. Forget about vibrating, this little tool thrusts, baby. Inside the device are apparently two magnetic balls – and seriously, just how perfect is that - that move back and forth to give this dildo its ability to provide the user with a powerful thrusting motion. The sinuous curve also has a bulge designed to hit her cl*t right where it counts. It’s incredibly smooth to the touch and very quiet. It comes with ten different settings, although I’ve read reviews that say the lower settings are the ones that work best. Designed for riding solo or inviting company.

Two other fun discoveries were made at Tic Tac Toe, a shop crammed full of devices with a whole second floor dedicated to costumes and shoes. There we came upon glow-in-the-dark bubble bath. I can envision scenes now of a to-die-for hero, candlelight nights, a spa tub, and glowing bubbles. And if the scene moves from the bathtub to the bedroom, have your heroine caress her man everywhere – and make sure he can see it – while wearing blacklight nail polish. How fun is that? Sure, these last two items are a bit on the gag gifts side, but there’s nothing wrong with a little laughter and fun between the sheets.

A big thanks to all of the salespeople who patiently answered our questions and showed us around their stores. If you’re in NYC, a stop in one of these stores will be well worth your time. For research, of course.

And don’t forget to follow us. You wouldn’t want to miss anything!

In Praise of Sanj—Hot, Dark, and Sweet

I’ve been thinking about my main character in my upcoming book CRAVINGS, which will be out on November 21. Remember Elizabeth’s post about Asian men? Also, there was CMK’s post “Add More Men,” which included a hot video of Indian men–the very last on the page. Well, I have a hot, sweet, sexy one for you in the character of Sanj.

We first see Sanj in SAFFRON NIGHTS, as the level-headed best friend of hotty-photographer Jackson as he and Maeve travel the globe in search of aphrodisiacs. He’s smart and geeky, with a lab in his mansion in the hills of Ramsha, a fictitious place in India. Yes India. While we’re at it, let’s think about India.

Photo by David Dennis

Sanj gives Jackson much-needed advice about Maeve. We root for Sanj because he’s so nice and level headed. And he’s hot—did I mention that?

John Abraham, Bollywood actor or Sanj? Hmm.

So in book number two CRAVINGS, he’s still the same level-headed nice guy, still hot, but his heart has been broken, and his level-headedness is tested as he tries to find his missing friends in a Ecuador—along with dealing with an incredibly sexy woman on the run and in his face. Oh Sanj. You were a joy to torture. (Did I mention how hot he is?)

South Indian actor
Prithviraj Sukumaran or my Sanj? Hmmm.

A large part of this story is him discovering his mettle, along with his latent kinkiness. That was so much fun to explore.

Take this snippet of a scene:

“Lie down,” she told him forcefully.

Something about the tone of her voice frightened and excited him all at once. Ordering men around came easily to Sasha. But did he want to be one of those men? What the hell is wrong with you, Sanj, just do it. A  beautiful naked woman is asking you to lie down. Just fucking do it.

“Here?” he whispered. Barely. Where did that voice come from? What was she up to? Stop thinking, Sanj, and let it ride.

“On the table, on the floor, where ever. Lie down.”

The table? Where they would eat in the morning?

No.

Of course, a part of Sanj and Sasha finding their way is finding the balance between her kink and his straight-up vanilla sexual experiences. Fun stuff. I hope you’ll come along for the ride.

If you’d like to get a glimpse of Sanj in book one, SAFFRON NIGHTS, my publisher is offering the e-book at a special price of $1.99 at  B&N, Sony, Kobo, and Apple.

In the mean time, please subscribe to Lady Smut. You don’t want to miss one delicious post.

The Lost Pornographic Era of the Dinosaurs

by Kiersten Hallie Krum

Oh yeah, you read that right. Dinosaur porn.

Elizabeth hat tipped the dino porn scuttlebutt in her Sexy Saturday Roundup, but let’s take a more in-depth look at it, shall we?

Fair warning: Make sure you have a strong stomach before clicking the below links or reading excerpts.

Tiny hands. Tiny…

First announced by Geekologie on Monday, I discovered the dino porn “rage” via The Twitter on Tuesday. On Wednesday, The Huffington Post online had a profile on “Tyrannosaurus sex”. By Thursday, NY Magazine online had a Q&A with the authors. Behold the power of social media. Again.

Two Texas college students are currently making buck hand over fist writing “dinosaur erotica” that features dinosaurs and the women who bang them. In the Q&A, the co-writers of such titles as Taken by the T-Rex, Taken by the Pterodactyl, and Taken at the Dinosaur Museum (I’m sensing a theme here) discuss how they cornered this unexplored sub genre of lizard lascivity in the erotica publishing market . Excuse me while I take a moment to hurl.

For crying out loud, leave it unexplored! Look, there are some sub, sub, sub-genres that should remain platform-free and I think prehistoric bestiality is one of them. I wouldn’t read a shifter novel where there was sex between the human and the shifted shifter (say that ten times fast), I sure as hell am not going to read coitus between a woman and a twelve-foot lizard right before it eats her for breakfast. I mean, those small hands alone! Ew.

But, much like Miley Cyrus’ newest absurd antics, books like these get press coverage and media exposure due to the shock impact and the point-and-look-at-the-train-wreck shared horror. I’m writing about it here out of pure disgust, but I’m still writing about it, thus being (again) the object of my own scorn. But there is enough prejudice and patronization against the romance genre and its many sub-genres as it is. We don’t have to create fodder for such discrimination by appealing to the lowest common denominator of porn and calling it erotic fiction!

This, I think, is one of the consequences still playing out from the Fifty Shades infection. While it continues to allow legitimate writers of erotic fiction and erotica (like some of the my fellow Lady Smut authors) the opportunity to capitalize on the mainstream recognition of their sub-genre, dino porn exhibits the long-term effects of the popularity of that poorly written, derivative, border-line plagiarized nonsense. While originally popularized by Twi-hards jonesing for the sex Stephanie Myers failed to provide through most of her original opus, Fifty Shades garnered huge media coverage based on the titillation of (mild) BDSM being read and enjoyed by suburban Moms and other “normal” women readers. Now, every perverse (I think it’s more than safe to call dino porn perverse) new iteration is more ammunition for romance novels to be derided as merely “porn” for women.  Technically speaking, these particular books are actually porn for dinosaurs and since the Jurassic Age has gone the way of the dodo (likely long before there was a dodo), so should its porn!

Does dino porn hit your limit of erotic fiction wannabes? Or do you think any and every corner of the genre should be written if there’s an audience who will read and buy it…no matter how disgusting the subject matter?

Handled by Scandal: Reverse Adultery Is Okay, Right?

By Alexa Day

I’m just getting settled in here at Lady Smut, so you all are still getting to know me. You’ll have to take my word for it when I tell you that my moral compass isn’t set up like most other people’s. The needle on mine is pointing Northish. When it comes to what two (or more) people are interested in doing with each other, my concepts of right and wrong are pretty generous.

Even so, the proliferation of adultery-based television shows bothers me a little. I started to notice the adultery trend on TV after Scandal ended its second season. Right after Fitz put his head in his wife’s lap (and not in a sexy way), we got this commercial for a show called Mistresses, a summer series that seemed to be about women sleeping with other women’s husbands – and not about much else. Then I started seeing ads for another series, Devious Maids, another summer show that seemed to be about women sleeping with other women’s husbands – and not about much else.

Olivia has 99 problems, but wardrobe ain’t one.

I shook my head. Cheap Scandal knockoffs, I thought, based mistakenly on the idea that the reason for Scandal’s immense popularity is the adulterous relationship between Olivia Pope and Fitzgerald Grant, the President of the United States. I never watched Mistresses or Devious Maids because I didn’t really have a reason to. I have been similarly unimpressed with Betrayal. I did, however, get caught up in Tyler Perry’s The Haves and the Have Nots, a very soapy summer series with an adulterous relationship at its center. I don’t have any trouble with Candace Young, a call girl and hustler, and Jon Cryer, the judge who is her best friend’s father. But The Haves and the Have Nots is everything I love in a soap opera. How could I look away?

Just like any other hot, high-powered interracial couple hugging it out on the couch.

Is this just a double standard on my part? Possibly. I’m paying the most attention to the interracial relationships most like the ones in my stories, the ones with the take-charge black women and the powerful white guys they can’t keep away from. The rest of adultery TV hasn’t offered me anything like that. Actually, to be fair, the rest of TV isn’t offering me anything like that, although I do have high hopes for Abbie Mills and Ichabod Crane in Sleepy Hollow.

On Thursday, when Scandal started its third season, I figured out what sets this show apart from its imitators. Toward the end of the episode, Olivia “pulls the fire alarm” by using her super-secret presidential access code to call a meeting in an undisclosed location with Fitz and First Lady Mellie. The press has discovered that Olivia is Fitz’s mistress, and now the three of them have to figure out what to do next. During this conversation, Fitz identifies the center of Mellie’s problem. He loves Olivia. With each passing day, he grows less willing to lie about it. So far as he is concerned, Mellie and Olivia can finesse the truth however they want, but the underlying fact of the matter is that he only loves Olivia.

So why am I so into Scandal? Hmm.

That puts things into perspective. It means that Olivia isn’t the Other Woman. It means Mellie is the Other Woman. This isn’t adultery, really; it’s reverse adultery.

It’s enough to make me want to watch last season all over again, just so I can try on the idea that Mellie is the Other Woman. Where else can a girl get relationship brain bending like that? Really. I’m asking.

Share your thoughts and theories (what’s in The Folder?) in the comments, and be sure to follow Lady Smut!

Sexy Saturday Round-Up

Photo by Dollen.

Hello, Sexy! We’ve been scouring the Internets for you. Warning: these blog posts are highly entertaining and informative. Sit back and enjoy them.

From Liz:

Never to have penis in vagina sex again.

The Elephant Journal on masturbation.

What is a vagina supposed to look like? (Somebody out there wants to know, right?)

TIME’S list of top ten racy novels.

The ABCs of aphrodisiacs. You know, I gotta kick out of this!

From Elizabeth:

Dr. Barry Komisaruk says, hey gals! if you want to have an orgasm, all you have to do is just think about it.

Feeling the need to masturbate in public? Go to Sweden.

Game of Thrones Season 4 teaser: lots of sex and death!

Oh Miley, for Pete’s sake keep your tongue in your mouth and your tit in your bra.

Bored with run-of-the-mill porn? Then check out dinosaur porn.

From Madeline:

To inspire us all: Tarts of the Week!

I don’t think J Lo would go for this: Going Dutch on the Engagement Ring.

Girls Gone Wild 17th Century Style

I saw this ad and thought: SERIOUSLY? 

I know you couldn’t live for a moment longer without watching this geeky yet gross video that’s all about octopus sex

Stay Hungry,

Liz

P.S. Don’t forget to subscribe to LS!

Add More Men

By C. Margery Kempe

I just finished the third installment in the Man City ménage series and this time it’s all male! It’s also a Christmassy theme, by request from my publisher. It will be out November 22, 2013. Of course the first words if the story are the main character Martin thinking, I hate Christmas!

Do you like M/M? Or in this case, M/M/M? Who would you want to picture together?

I figured since I’m in the manly mood, I should give the Friday Fun over to sexy men. So here’s a few: who would you add?

 



 



 



 



 

Don’t forget to follow Lady Smut (see the button on the right).

Gimme Some Ichabod: Thank God It’s October!

Sleepy Hollow has a great horseman, and a great Ichabod. Too bad it’s really kinda stupid.

It’s October already.  I think October is becoming my favorite month of the year.

Blog List for October:

-Loving Monsters

-Masquerade

-Does Zombie Lust Count as Necrophilia?

Meanwhile, gimme some of that Ichabod Crane guy.  The actor is Tom Milson and he is a long tall drink of water. I could stare at him all day, but tell me honestly readers–do you like the TV show? Not to be a hater or anything, but I can’t STAND it!

Bill…wait! You’re not Bill…Stephen Moyer playing in ANOTHER vamp/synthetic blood TV show.

There’s another show you could watch instead.  A show that’s about vampires, with Stephen Moyer, vampires and a synthetic blood plot line.  No, astonishingly, it’s not TRUE BLOOD–it came out years before True Blood.  It’s a British show called ULTRA VIOLET cancelled after six measly episodes.  It had a young (hot!) Stephen Moyer in it and was like True Blood meets X Files.

I kind of like these shows that don’t go heavy on the special effects.  They rely more on character.  When they are successful they create a sense of impending doom — like this show does –and I just love it.  The impending doom of humanity’s future lurks just off screen, in the viewers imagination.  (Now that’s what I call successful TV!)

Another reason to watch is that the show stars Idris Alba.  You can find the show on Hulu.com.

But if you’re sick of TV and want some paranormal goodness in your life, might I suggest a little YA paranormal romance? I recently bought these three hot titles: VAMPIRE ACADEMY, FALLEN and DIVERGENT.

I have a bone to pick with Vampire Academy.  It’s pretty okay, but it reads like there was some book that came before it.  Major summation of back story.  Yawn! Annoying.  Whatever.

Divergent meanwhile, is a Hunger Games wannabe.  And so my hopes are on Fallen.  Going to start it tonight.  Southern Goth(ic)–we’ll see.  Updates to come.

So how do you celebrate glorious October? Do you par-tay? Do you like scaring kids who come to your house for Halloween? (It’s so sad most kids don’t go trick or treating anymore.) Do you break out the dry ice to create a witch’s brew–or celebrate with a horror film fest for your friends and loved ones? (My favorite horror film is THE SHINING, followed by SCREAM and ROSEMARY’S BABY.)

Leave a comment–and pretty please follow our blog.