Liz Everly's Blog, page 141

Deck The Halls With Your Sparkling Vagina!

By Elizabeth Shore

Brace yourselves, everyone, because Thanksgiving is a week from tomorrow. That means the holiday season is officially upon us. GAAAH!! Time to make spicy cider, decorate the house, buy festive clothing . . . oh yeah, and schedule an appointment to bedazzle your vagina. That’s right, ladies. This week Lady Smut’s talking luxury. It’s time to get vajazzled.

In the “old” days, sparkles used to be confined to blouses, handbags, jeans, shoes, but what about your poor neglected lady parts? No longer relegated to being hidden away like a shameful secret, nowadays you can make your coochie shine like new car chrome. And it’s oh-so-simple. First, if you’re still sporting a landing strip, get rid of it. Get rid of it now! Head over to the spa and have every last bit of hair waxed and plucked until you’re newborn-smooth. Then you can enjoy the fun part. The vajazzling artist adheres shiny little crystals in the design of your choice all over your hairless hoohoo and presto-chango, you’re now vajazzled, your newly adorned crotch as sparkly as a firecracker.

I’ll be the first to admit, I haven’t been vajazzled nor do I know any woman who’s got crystals on her clam. So in the absence of information, questions come to mind. First of all, how long do the little crystals stay put? Do they fall off by themselves or do you need a second appointment to get them plucked off? Is said plucking painful? But perhaps even more importantly – and likely because, as an erotic romance writer, I write a lot of sex scenes – does a vajazzled vajay-jay add vavoom in the bedroom?

Let’s set the scene. Your hero and heroine are frisky and decide to  get down to business in the boudoir. They kiss, they touch, and off come the clothes. But if they’re doing the horizontal mambo in the missionary position, facing each other, wouldn’t his manly thrusts pound against her pubic bone and therefore send her crystals flying? Or alternately, if they stay intact, would there be painful rubbing for both participants? Seems like the hero would suffer almost a rugburn-like effect if his weight rests atop hers as he moves. All I can think is ouch! Also, what if you want your hero to head south and delight his gal with some oral pleasure. Let’s say he’s kissing her bejeweled hoohoo and one of those crystals comes loose. And maybe it goes in his mouth and he starts coughing, and gasping, and accidentally chokes on the damn thing. That’s what I call a major buzz-kill.

Despite all that, I can see a vajazzled coochie being sexy. Some unexpected sparkle as the panties slide down. Yet practical matters abound! The hair re-growth, for example, as little stubbles start peeking up through the jeweled adornment like weeds poking through cracks in the sidewalk. If those crystals are still hanging on, being surrounded by stubble would more than ruin the intended enticing effect.

The good news is, if you’re still not sold on adding a glitterly sparkle to your crotch, there are other options for indulging in vaginal vanity. How about getting a vajacial – a facial for your vagina. Or go all out for vaginoplasty to tighten things up down there. Nothing wrong with giving a little love to your little love box. It’ll make you both happy happy.

And if you want to stay that way, don’t forget to follow us at Lady Smut. Our posts will keep you smiling.

Luxury: My Own Chocolatier and a Luscious Giveaway

In my other life, I’ve written a few cookbooks, along with many food articles. In my travels, I’ve met a lot of people involved in the culinary world. One of my favorites is Chef William Poole, a chocolatier, an inspired and gifted man. We met in Denver at his first shop, Wen Chocolates. He’s such a good friend that he created a chocolate based on CRAVINGS, which is now being given away here.

The solid chocolate tile crafted by Chef William Poole for the release of CRAVINGS.

Make no mistake, chocolate can be culinary LUXURY defined. (One of the world’s most expensive chocolates, Chocopologie by Knipschildt, is price at $2,600 per pound, the last time I checked.)   I interviewed Will, which you will find further down in the post. But for now, indulge me, would you? The idea of a my own private chocolatier has been firmly planted in my brain and I wonder…just how luxurious would it be…

If you woke up in the morning with fresh chocolate on your pillow?

How about walking into your apartment after a long day and smelling the divine aroma of your sweetie’s chocolate experiment?  And then you get to help taste? (Who needs dinner when you have good chocolate, right?)

How about casually mentioning how much you love orange and chocolate together and finding he created a candy just like that—and named it after you?

How about bathing in a pool of warm chocolate, prepared by your man?

Or of course..licking it from your man’s body in heated moments?

We ARE talking fantasy here, right? Because I can’t think about some of it without thinking. “not on my sheets or in my bath tub.” Grin.

For many people, fine chocolate represents the best in culinary luxury. We all know about it’s healthy benefits and reported aphrodisiac effects. But I’ve often wonder, beyond the process of making chocolate, (you can find that out anywhere, just Google it), what goes into creating these unusually delicious blends of chocolate. I ask Chef William Poole about his inspiration.

Liz:  I wonder what inspires you when creating your chocolate? How much do you get from books or music? Other chocolate or food?



Will: When I was reading CRAVINGS, I was immediately drawn into the elements of the characters cultures, in addition to the surroundings of where the book takes the reader. Sanj, the lead, is Indian, and I’ve always loved the regional spices and numerous curry blends of the country. To me, coupling spice blends of that country with papaya and vanilla, two characteristic and fragrant notes of Ecuador and St. Lucia were an instant and balanced flavor combination.



Inspiration is a sensory of mine that is on constant overdrive, it’s hard to shut down….. or off. I’m very visual, tactile and often seen as “quite mad” in the sense that I’m drawn to color, texture, flavor, pattern, or memory. All of these I feel can be put into chocolate, perhaps to elicit emotion from the consumer.  Music and books are great mediums to become inspired by. In addition to reading constantly, I keep a series of notebooks on my night stand and with me most of the time, to take note of a moment, conversation, dream, or flavor profile.

A story I can relate is when I started my first company, WEN Chocolates in Denver. My first truffle was a dark chocolate based confection, infused with violets and black tea. It was literally the flavor of purple to me and to the guests of my shop. The flavor wouldn’t open immediately, but in about 15 seconds, it hit. With that one truffle, I knew I could make or do more. I capped off at 30 different types of truffles and confections at the store, but I have notebooks filled with another 30, or more flavor profiles, I’m eager to try out.

When tasting a single origin or blended chocolate, there are numerous things that happen on my palate, sometimes, it’s “this is incredible”, or “how would ___________ improve such and such chocolate, or compliment or contradict it”. The same goes for savory cooking, I react to just about everything I eat to see or sense how it would go with something else, or with a particular type of chocolate.

Liz: What or who are some of your influences?

There are probably too many people and things to name, it’s a great question! As far as “who”, my Grandfather, Grandmother and Mother were big influences. My Mom always tells a story that when I was very young, I would demand a chair so I could watch what was being rolled out on the table during the holidays, all the cookies, candies and pies, there was always so much! My Mom tells me that I used to ask for a piece of dough, that I’d work until it was lifeless, and still ask to have it baked off. To this day, pie-dough cookies are one of my favorite things.

Liz: I also like how you said you could see this book as a movie. Here are the actors you picked out for each part on a Pinterest board called Chef Will Casts for Cravings.   Fun stuff!

The new shop is called Fortvna, correct? Is it actually open? Is there a way for people to reach you?

Chocolatier FORTVNA  is due to open in mid-2014. We are currently renovating a turn of the century storefront and building that will house the shop. If someone is interested in getting in touch with me, or has direct questions, please find me on facebook https://www.facebook.com/william.poole.35 or twitter https://twitter.com/cowboychef or via email at w.edward.poole@gmail.com  At this time, I still answer my own mail, do a majority of my own PR, and still hand write notes to correspond. Call me old fashioned, but I like it that way.

Thanks so much Will for stopping by Lady Smut today.

You just never know what you’re going to read on Lady Smut, do you? Follow us so you won’t miss a post.

Wide Awake in Sleepy Hollow

By Kiersten Hallie Krum

Sleepy Hollow is the water cooler conversation of the fall TV schedule. Forget Scandal (Fitz is a douche) forget The X Factor (everyone else has) and pay no attention to Grimm (they forgot how to run a good show about the time Juliet lost her memory). Sleepy Hollow has the horror, it has the pretty, it has the deep metaphysical mythos, and it even has the funny.

Oh look! A list!

Five reasons why you should be watching Sleepy Hollow.

Ax you

5. Call of Duty: Headless Horseman

He may have lost his head over Ichabod Crane (at this point, who hasn’t?), but this demonic Big Bad doesn’t rely only on his saber to get the job done. Sporting a hack ax with a blade that glows with hell fire, this headless horseman comes complete with assault rifle and a bandolier of shell cartridges for the equally lethal shotgun. Cue Bad Boy theme song. Whatcha gonna do?

In Sleepy Hollow, the Headless Horseman is a member of a secret sect of Hessian soldiers who fought for the British in The War of Independence. Not content to be deeply frightening in life, the now immortal Horseman continues to wreck havock in modern day New York. Add to that the fact that he’s literally one of the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse and this is one scary mofo. And he’s not the only creepy crawly populating the idyllic northeastern village. Sleepy Hollow is populated with all sorts of demonic horrors ready to keep you up and wide awake for hours.

4. Orlando Jones on Tumblr and Twitter

Professor ‘Ship will school you

“Class is now in session #WillThisBeOnTheFinal #SleepyHollowCommonCore #Fandom3930 pic.twitter.com/ITYVazROog

— Orlando Jones (@TheOrlandoJones) November 17, 2013“

He plays Captain Irving on the show, but Orlando Jones’ real role in the Sleepy Hollow family is as Captain of All ‘Ships. He gets fandom like damn and wow and giddily delights in every single drop of it. He live tweets new episodes with such hilarity it’s a retweet extravaganza. I love when actors love the work they do and still don’t take it so seriously they can’t enjoy the occasional WTFery of it, especially on a show as wild and high-concept as Sleepy Hollow.

3. Abbie and Ichabod aka “the pretty”

Yes, he *can* be taught!

Bet you’re thinking “Ah, here’s the romance.”  Alas, while many fans do ship these two lead characters romantically, I am vehemently not one of them. Instead, I’m enjoying their marvelous sex-free partnership. The woman who is a tough, conflicted cop. The man not only out of place but out of time. Each linked to the other by fantastical means.

Ichabod’s relationship with Abbie (Nicole Beharie) is fascinating as it’s something Revolutionary War Ichabod (Tom Mison) could never have experienced without marriage due to social restrictions of the time (and not just the slavery issue). Thus, he delights in her for exactly who she is and what they have to do together. Abbie’s lost her father-like mentor and had her world turned upside down and yet she still greets every new mind-boggling, supernatural experience with feet firmly planted in the solid world. She balances Ichabod’s frequent eloquent infodumps with just the right dash of deadpan summary and interpretation.

Here’s the key – Abbie not only inhabits the traditional man role of the partnership, she owns it. Ichabod does not rescue her and would never think he has to. They are partners; they back one another up. There’s never a moment when Ichabod acts as though his manhood is threatened by it either. In episode two, Blood Moon, Abbie chides him for throwing his gun away (he didn’t know it had more than one shot) and two episodes later in The Lesser Key of Solomon, when her militant-trained sister tosses Ichabod a 9 MM pistol, he silently looks to Abbie for instruction. Immediately in accord, she demonstrates what he must do to chamber the round. When Ichabod is kidnapped by the Freemason’s in episode seven’s Sin Eaters, Abbie goes into full out rescue mode. “That’s not how this is gonna work. I’m a police officer. Let us in, or we call in the damn cavalry.” No apology. No sop to his male pride. She is a bad ass in her own right and they both know it. Hell, Ichabod regularly counts on it.

2. The script

Alas, poor Headless. I knew him

Dear Lawd, but I love the words the writers for Sleepy Hollow put in Tom Mison’s mouth. It’s not enough that “tall, dark, and British” makes “donut hole” sound like a soliloquy, Ichabod’s back story has him Oxford educated (word) and the writers make his sentences long and flowing with a rich vocabulary worthy of his origins, experience, and education. Not to mention, his British pronunciation of “lieutenant,” i.e. “lefttennant,” pleases me greatly.

But Ichabod is also a man from a time when nobility and honor were more than words on a page or ethereal ideas to be subjugated under expediency. These are tangible values in service of which he and others of his time readily offered their lives. It adds a patina of risk and romance to the words he speaks because, even when he’s being pissy or snarky, he subconsciously knows he may have to stand by every one. Not to mention, it is often deeply funny.

The writers clearly enjoy playing with Ichabod’s snobbery with regard to colonial history and some of the more senseless luxuries of the modern world. For instance, he’s quick to point out that Abbie’s knowledge of history relies on recorded history. “It appears little of what actually transpired found its way into your textbooks.” Even as Ichabod adapts to his changed circumstance, his outrage over modern day taxes on baked goods, the apocryphal history of Paul Revere’s ride, and the utterly foreign idea of his words being “eternally recorded” in a voice mail message offer endless fish-out-of-water fun. Abbie and Captain Irving winding him up about Thomas Jefferson’s slave ownership and secret second family of mixed-race children was pure script gold.

For your listening pleasure, here are two Soundcloud clips of the Ichabod’s best riffs to date. In the first (and personal favorite), he gives poetic romantic advice to the automobile assistance agent and in the second leaves Abbie that first, irritated voice mail message.

The script is complex, witty, emotional, and often quite funny. That’s a high bar to aim for and one it achieves every week. I also dig the overall snarky sense of humor hard. In the pilot episode, no one less that Clancy Brown, aka The Kurgan from Highlander, played Abbie’s boss and mentor who, in the cold open of the show, got his head chopped off! Those are my kind of people.

On a logistic note, the story is unbelievably complex and yet ruthlessly well-plotted and controlled no doubt due to the fact that Sleepy Hollow only has 13 episodes in season one. This leaves  no room for the dreaded “filler” episodes that drag a show through the sagging middle of its traditionally 22-episode run. Items mentioned in throwaway comments in one episode pay of two, three, sometimes four episodes later. Sure there are some purists whose heads are imploding with the loosey goosey way the show plays with American history.  As revolutionary as it was, I’m not a fan of colonial history; I’ve never been able to make it past the wigs and fashion. Yes, I am that shallow. But add a little metaphysical behind-the-scenes hocus pocus to the events and I’m game.

1. The story

Ready? Here we go:

Ichabod’s opening voice over:

ARGH! Why can’t I see?

“In 1781, I died on the battlefield, but I was saved by a mysterious spell cast upon me by my beloved wife, Katrina. Now I’ve been awakened 250 years later in a land I no longer recognize and fate led me to Miss Abigail Mills, a young police lieutenant investigating baffling mysteries. We are now bearing witness to strange events and dark forces that I would not believe had I not seen with my own eyes. They foretell that our realm is in danger and the apocalypse may be upon us. Our destinies are entwined. We’re on the battleground where the armies of good and evil will wage war for the fate of mankind…Sleepy Hollow.”

When Ichabod Crane, British nobleman turned revolutionary warrior, cut the head off of a ruthless Hessian mercenary on the battlefield right after said mercenary dealt him a killing blow, their blood mingled as they died, linking them in an eternal bond. Katrina’s spell ensured that should the Horseman ever be revived, Ichabod too would awaken from death to again defeat him. Cue 21st century Sleepy Hollow, NY where the Headless Horseman just woke up.

Abbie and Ichabod are the two witnesses prophesized about in the Book of Revelations who will see and combat the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse of which our Headless is the Horseman of Death. The return of the horseman was instigated by a demon named Morloch who has also released other nightmarish things into Sleepy Hollow in advance of The Four Horsemen’s inevitable return. Meanwhile, Abbie is dealing with her own past interaction with Morloch as a young  teenager, an experience that irrevocably colored and influenced her life and coincidentally prepared her to be Ichabod’s perfect partner in the battle against evil.

How could you not love a show like that?! There are even secret passages! In New York! It’s National Treasure meets The Da Vinci Code with demons and witches and sin eaters. Oh my!

Sleepy Hollow airs on Mondays at 9 PM EST on the Fox Channel.

Follow Lady Smut where we like to lose our heads over all kinds of things.

Faking It While Making It: What’s With Faked Orgasms?

By Alexa Day

My mind has been on the orgasm this week, and not for the usual reasons. I blame Slate, in a good-natured, shoulder-slapping way. This week’s article about the faked orgasm scene in When Harry Met Sally started me thinking.

Are we women still faking orgasms? And, presuming the answer is yes, why are we doing that?

Considering that the faked orgasm is itself an act of deception, and a sexual one at that, it’s not altogether surprising that its proponents are less than forthcoming about their motivations. What might make it easier to pretend to have an orgasm than to actually have one? Fatigue? Boredom? How many women who are faking orgasms have never experienced one?

If our partners aren’t getting us to climax, isn’t it better for the relationship if we’re all honest about it? I might be looking at the world through romance-novel-colored glasses, but I think our partners genuinely want to give us … well … genuine pleasure. If they’re not hitting the mark, so to speak, aren’t we better served if we help out? If they’re not open to advice, aren’t we better served if we find partners who are? If we’ve never experienced pleasure in this way, why not begin to pursue it with a partner who’s also invested in it?

Are we really so inhibited about even the discussion of sex that we can’t find a way around the faked orgasm?

What *is* she having, anyway?

I think there might be an answer or two to all these questions in another Slate article. As I write this, I feel better about having orgasm on the brain this week. Not that I’m ashamed of that sort of thing – it is my line of work, in a way – but I’ve only written one orgasm-themed article this week. So there.

Slate interviewed Dr. Debby Herbenick about studies that revealed an “orgasm gap” between the genders. The study shows that 40 percent of women achieve orgasm during casual sexual experiences, compared to 80 percent of men.

Before we go even a second farther, you should know that the study only includes college students. It still makes a valid point or two about orgasm, but still, you should just know.

It’s easy to be discouraged by the lower number for women, but consider these factors. As we women get older – you know, older than college age – I think we become more sexually aware. When we learn more about ourselves, orgasm becomes a little easier to reach. Hookups leave so little space for communication, far less than a growing, developing relationship does. In addition, the study only covers hooking up with intercourse, which results in orgasm far less frequently than we often give it credit for. (As a romance writer, I will take some responsibility for that.)

But isn’t it possible that the young women in this study have figured out something that often eludes their more experienced counterparts? Maybe they realize that the orgasm isn’t the point of every sexual encounter. If that’s the case, we might just be looking at a future without faked orgasms, better real ones, and a richer spectrum of experiences in between. That’s a future worth exploring both in reality and in fiction.

I’d love to hear what you think about faking it while making it. Want to have what we’re having? All you have to do is follow us.

Sexy Saturday Round-Up

By Liz Everly and the Lady Smut Bloggers.

Photo by Dollen

Hello, Sexy! Happy Saturday! Come along with the Lady Smut Bloggers as we present to you some fun and informative reads from the internet.

From Liz:

Fifteen places to have sex before you die.

A fabulous discussion on Dear Author this week about mixing the personal and the professional and writing books reviews.

Scarlett Parrish on the “snake oil that is paying for promo.”

C. Margery Kempe

A not-entirely-serious guide to using Twitter as a writer

How much better if it would have been if her dancers had also decided they’d had enough of that crap?

More reasons to feel uncomfortable while promoting your writing.

From Elizabeth:

Yet another thing to worry about: your vagina is too brown!

Proof that we have advanced as a species. Six insane sex myths that used to be taught as truth.

Transgender model says, “hey Victoria’s Secret. Hire me!”

Forget generic box haircolors. This company says they’ll customize a color just for you.

Need a cuddle? Head to Madison, WI and the Snuggle House.

From Madeline:

No more airstrips! The Gloss reports that women are finally rebelling against bikini wax.

Etiquette for women eating burgers in Japan .

More women are hooking up.  But are they getting off?

Stay hungry,

Liz

P.S. don’t forget to subscribe to LS. You know you want to. Cmon.

How do you spell ‘Luxury’? M-O-R-E

by C. Margery Kempe

It’s getting toward that unmentionable part of the year when people want to rush through work to get things done before the holidays and families make demands and suddenly everybody’s wearing a rictus grin while they curse under their breath and buy more presents they don’t want to give to people who don’t really want them.

Why not chuck all that — if only for an hour or two — and give yourself the gift of luxury?

It doesn’t have to be much, not really. Oh sure, if it’s in your budget splurge on that trip to the tropics or to your favourite ski resort in Switzerland. But even if you don’t have the dosh, there’s plenty of ways to treat yourself if you just remember that important word more.

Any number is fine with me — as long as it’s more.

I’m no mathematician

All I know is addition

I find counting a bore.

Keep the numbers mounting –

You’re a guy who knows accounting.

You can use this principle in every moment of your day: want instant luxury? Just take more:

Five more minutes in the shower
Ten more minutes for your lunch break
Add some chocolate sauce on your ice cream or that cupcake you said you’d forget
Have an extra glass of wine
Buy that sexy book or movie you’ve been jonesing for
Press the snooze button and wake up your partner

Luxury is all in the way you think!

That’s what’s soothing about success

Never settle for something less

Something’s better than nothing, yes –

But nothing’s better than more…

So how did I make my ménage series even more luxurious just in time for the holidays? My third in the series of threesomes had to go the previous two (Man City: Shai and Man City: Lizzie) one better. They each had two marvelous men sandwiching a lucky gal.

What else was there to do but add more manly goodness?

Man City: Martin is out on the 20th and it’s M/M/M — M for menliness, which is next to luxuriousness. And stands for Mmmmmm! My publisher will be giving away books galore that week as it’s our 5 books in 5 days extravaganza. Drop by Tirgearr’s Facebook page for details. Go on, treat yourself. You deserve it.

What’s your favourite simple luxury?

      

Maleficent, My Darling…Why I Love A Sexy Wicked Women

By Madeline Iva

Aurora or Maleficent?

Along with a lot of other fairy tale mayhem on TV and the big screen, Disney is soon to bring out Maleficent — a retelling of Sleeping Beauty, starring Angelina Jolie and Elle Fanning.

Disney’s Sleeping Beauty really had me transfixed when I was a tot.  I thought Snow White was an idiot, and to me, Cinderella seemed a little too happy with her rats, poverty, and rags.  Even though I worship at the alter of Ariel, the Little Mermaid, it was Sleeping Beauty’s name–Aurora–that I thought by far the most beautiful.  I strangely identified with her.  She just seemed very grounded.

Elle Fanning will be playing Aurora.  Okay.  Sure.  But…I have this thing about Elle Fanning.  She’s just so cute, I kind of want to squeeze her to death.  Literally. It’s a compulsive feeling.  Dakota totally doesn’t have it.  What’s up with that? Scientists have said that yes, we’re hard wired to respond to adorable cuteness with aggression –

http://www.popsci.com/science/article/2013-01/science-says-adorable-animals-turn-us-aggressive

On the other hand, Maleficent?  Love her! – She’s totally where my interest is at.  Why am I drawn to a wicked wicked woman?

Well, I think it’s because I don’t perseverate on the wickedness as much as I relish the power vibe.  Is there anything so hot as a woman who’s powerful? I mean unashamedly powerful.  And smart.

Also, at this point I equate witch-y women in movies with knowledge.  As if witchery was the woman’s ph.D of the dark ages. ;>

So Maleficent has my subversive fandom heart, even if she’s bad to the bone.

It’s interesting to look at Angelina as a powerful woman in real life.  What makes her supremacy so manifest?

Not just movies (in fact, hardly movies at all) but perhaps her international good works?  (Could you say she has two careers?)

She snagged a powerful guy who seems pretty into her.  Not just a guy, of course, but the guy most other women want.

–Lots o’ children.  Which is a kind of strength–a show of massive fecundity and motherhood prowess.

Here’s the kicker — She’s not afraid to appear powerful, weird, or outrageous (her bi-lesbianism, brother-loving, and vials of blood) “It’s just going to get weirder” she said once to reporters.

Yes, that’s what I am most intrigued by:  she’s obviously a good person – she does good works, she adopted children, etc. but she’s not worried about being perceived as a good woman.  In fact, she relishes playing the bad girl.  That hits the bullseye for me!

I once got the chance to do some pure research as a romance writer.  I asked a roomful of men

Q: What makes a guy masculine?

A: What makes a guy masculine is his supreme confidence in being the way he is.

I like that answer.

For me what makes a woman provocative and interesting is that however she is – she’s okay with it.

She doesn’t go through all the worry and self-monitoring that a lot of women endure.  Am I nice enough? Am I good enough? Is my home clean enough? Are my children/pets smart and well behaved enough? Etc.

It’s very real to worry about these things—and yeah, you don’t want the toddler getting sick from eating something she found on the floor–but I look to models of women who let that kind of thing go and embrace a sort of ‘it is what it is’ kind of attitude.  Women who don’t worry about the judgements of others.

If you’re confident about yourself—if you feel positive about your situation in life –and relish your personal super-powers—now that’s sexy. Just try to use your beauty for good not evil.

So tell me in the comments below folks, are you for Maleficent or Aurora?

And thanks for reading!  Now join all the pretty people and follow our blog.

;>

Not Tonight, Dear. I’m Writing A Sex Scene

By Elizabeth Shore

I’ve been spending the last few weeks working on the second-round revisions for my upcoming contemporary, Hot Bayou Nights. My editor is great and has made really helpful suggestions. Because the book is an erotic romance, one of those suggestions is that it be “spiced up” even more than it already is. So the other day I sat down at the computer, coffee cup in hand, bowl of grapes by my side, and started scrolling through her comments. I reached one of the sex scenes and saw this: take a few sentences to show her orgasm building before she comes. Egad, I haven’t even had my coffee yet! But just like that, I’m in the middle of a sex scene.

I know that movies are shot out of sequence. One day an actor might be filming a dramatic scene where he’s mourning the loss of someone, and weeks later does the scene where he first meets that very person. But how about for writers? I personally tend to write in a more or less linear fashion. I start at page one, I finish at “the end.” But I have to admit, sometimes I’m just not in the mood to write a really hot scene so I’ll just type in a placeholder (WRITE SEX SCENE HERE) and continue on. But there’s the rub. How exactly do we romance writers get in the proper mood to write those scenes?

We’ve all seen suggestions for how to set the mood you want to create within your creative space. So if you’re writing a sex scene, for example, turn down the lights, get candles, infuse the air with scent. Change your wallpaper to pictures of George Clooney. Hell, whatever works. For me, I don’t need to set the mood in my writing room because I’m more internal anyway. I can be on a sun-soaked beach just by imagining said sun-soaked beach. Besides, candles and low lighting to me are romantic, but not necessarily sexy. Ya know? So if I’m describing the mood of my heroine as she’s about to reach “le petit mort,” I need more stimulation (heh) than a flickering candle.

The other thing about writing a sex scene is the words. Oh, the agony! The torture of trying to come up with descriptions for body parts and lovemaking positions that are sensual and not silly, so the readers get turned on instead of driving on by. The sequence of events in a sex scene certainly have a more-or-less well-worn path: kissing, touching, clothes off, sexy stuff, done. So how do we writers make it fresh, exciting, and arousing? One thing’s certain, it’s a tough gig for me to get in the mood while sipping coffee and popping grapes in my mouth. I mean, geez, I need some sort of build-up. Something to “light my fire” so I can try to light my readers’.

Music works for some writers. Author Hope Ramsay has a “music to write sex scenes playlist” on her iPod to spur imagination. Maybe it would work for others to have a collection of naughty photos that can be pulled up at a moment’s notice. Or perhaps a collection of stories you like to set the proper tone. Call it your “Horny Handbook: Stories To Get Your (creative) Juices Flowing.” Nice.

Ultimately, for me I need to seize the moment if I’m in the mood or else put down those grapes, take a deep breath, and plunge right in.

How about you? Anyone have tips for getting in the mood to write the hot scenes? One thing’s for sure, our titillating posts here at Lady Smut can do a lot to put you in the mood, so be sure to follow us.

The Sex and Romance of Place

By Liz Everly

So my next novel, CRAVINGS, which will be released on November 21 (less than ten days away!)  is set in Ecuador and Saint Lucia. (By the way, there is a Goodreads  giveaway of CRAVINGS, right now. Check it out here.)

I wrote a post about Ecuador last week. I also wrote a little about why I choose to set my romances exotic places, at times. For me, writing romance is often about fantasy, definitely wish fulfillment when it comes to traveling. There is also this: Placing your characters in a harrowing and or sexy situations in a far off land reveals a great deal about them. And it gives me opportunity  to fantasize about globetrotting.

When I was researching Saint Lucia, I found about chocolate-themed luxury resorts. The idea of these gems took hold of me and I simply won’t rest until I go to a chocolate-themed resort. Some of them are renovated old plantations that have been refurbished, like the Rabot Estate  and others are just simply extraordinary, like Jade Resort,  where they have chocolate-inspired cocktails parties and chocolate breakfast items on the menu. Maybe it’s just me, but give me a chocolate-themed luxury resort or hotel in Saint Lucia, and chocolate isn’t the only thing on my mind. To me, the idea oozes sex. (Maybe that’s one reason I write culinary-themed sexy books.)

But it must be said that placing characters in their home town can ooze sex, too. In a very different way. Boffing the boy next door who was once your best friend’s boyfriend, or whose family not on good terms with yours, can offer a great lens into your characters, as well, along with that juicy element of tension.  We know that erotic romance is burning up the market these days, but small town romances are more than holding their own.

Enter Marina Adair and her series set in vineyard in St. Helena, California. I’ve not met Marina, but we’ve had a long and lovely phone conversation in which I was given and took some advice from her. Also, she blurbed CRAVINGS—and will always be tops in my opinion. (Here is what she said:  ”A sensual tale with a bit of mystery, Cravings is packed with heat.” Mwaaah! ) I’m reading “Autumn in the Vineyard,” which is clever, beautifully written, and even though it’s not an erotic romance, it is freakin’ HAWT. (There’s a scene in an outbuilding that I’ll be thinking about for LONG time.) Am I going to read her whole series? You bet your sweet ass I am.

I have to admit. I live in a small town and I find it a bit of a drag. But reading about other small towns and settings like vineyards, I’m completely into these days. Since reading Marina’s book, I can’t get the image of getting it on among the vines and grapes while half-high on good wine out of my mind. Not that this even happens in her book, mind you, that’s just the way I roll. Grin.

My next book is as close to small town as I’ve gotten. LIKE HONEY is set on a honey farm in Scotland, even though there’s a brief trip to Paris in the middle of the book. (Definitely not small town.)

But who knows, with Marina for inspiration, I might set my next book in the state of Virginia, which is where I live. After all, Virginia is for Lovers. (Sorry, couldn’t help it.)

Writers, have you ever thought about the way place influences you story? Your characters? Readers: Do you have favorite settings in the books you read? Or doesn’t it matter to you?

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Going Against Type

When I was thirteen or so, the first guy I kinda sorta “dated”, the way you do when you’re thirteen or so, had dark hair, was two years older than me, wore a leather jacket, and I have absolutely no doubt eventually rode a motorcycle. Decades later, my mother revealed she took one look at this guy, turned to my father, and said, “we are in serious trouble.”

Yeah. It’s like that.

Turns out, I have a type.

We all have types, that indefinable attribute that draws us to a man. The physical mishmash that makes that intangible want surge in our chests. Blonde hair or brown. Blue eyes or brown or green. Beard. Goatee. Moustache. Clean shaven. Skinny. Cut. Lean but muscular. Tall. Short. Soccer bodies vs American football bodies. Nerd cute or Varsity quarterback cute. Personally, a man’s attractive quotient goes up with the addition of scruff or a goatee (done right), almost like a hint of an inner bad boy waiting to be set free. And I’ve recently found my beard and tattoo appreciation has increased substantially. Not sure if that’s due to my advancing age and maturing tastes or…someone else.

I’ve got my own rendition of the bad boy jones. It’s a bit of a stereotype, but it’s mine and I’ll own it. Gladly.

Somewhere along the line, some configuration of physical qualities sets as a type. And it sticks. I freely admit to being immediately drawn to the dark hair/light eyes combination in a man. I don’t find an overbuilt musculature attractive like say those of professional bodybuilders, offensive linemen, or WWF wrestlers  (though I greatly appreciate the work and discipline that goes into it) but I do really like a well-defined Adonis belt. Boy. Howdy.

But then there’s the moment where someone completely not your typical type blows you off stride. That rare, unexpected glitch when a man crosses your path who bears few, if any, of the physical attributes that usually draw you like a lodestone but still makes you think  I want to climb him like a tree. That quickly, type gets tossed out the window and all you can do is enjoy the fall down the rabbit hole.

Damned inconvenient if you ask me.

Reveal all your secrets to me.

A few days ago, some friends and I were discussing how different actors were or were not attractive to us depending on what role they played at a given time. An outstanding actor who has all the right parts in all the right places, Viggo Mortensen is physically not my type, but I am ridiculously drawn to Aragon in the Lord of the Rings series. Ditto Benedict Cumberbatch whose outrageously interesting facial structure (those cheekbones!) alters his physical attractiveness for me depending on how he’s packaged. I find Sherlock fascinating on several levels, yet not a sexual draw. But the ginger debonair Cumberbatch plays in Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy is worth trading a few secrets over.

Oh yes, they f*cking do!

Character kicks type to the curb. Outward packaging is merely the bait on the hook. It’s the inner qualities that keep us locked in. Sometimes the wrapping matches the gift; sometimes its brown paper wrapped around a diamond. I love the line at the end of the movie Bridget Jones’ Diary when Bridget tells Darcy that nice boys don’t kiss “like that”. Darcy: “Oh yes we f*cking do.” Outwardly, Darcy is a staid, solid, conservative guy. But inside he’s got more than a little bad boy waiting for just the right woman to enjoy him. My bad boy jones is strong, but I value certain character qualities in a man considerably more than whether or not he owns a leather jacket or has scruff. It’s the character of the man (or woman) that will last long after the packaging succumbs to off-screen reality.

When we write characters, when we’re creating an occasionally outsized relationship between hero and heroine, we look for those moments when type gets subjugated beneath emotion and eventually love. Chemistry is great and absolutely necessary to sustain or at least kick-start a relationship, both on the page and in real life. But things get really interesting when the wrong man or wrong woman turns out to be just what the heroine/hero really needs even if she/he goes absolutely, 100% against type.

Now we’ve got a story.

What’s your type? Have you ever come across someone, either in real life or fantasy crush, who was totally not your type but totally sucked you under anyways?

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