Liz Everly's Blog, page 138

Idle Penises and Hotel Sex: A Whirlwind 2013

By Alexa Day

Three months ago today, I joined the crew here at Lady Smut, and what a sexy whirlwind it has been! So far, I’ve been tempted by the lush pleasures of Liz Everly’s CRAVINGS and lost my m/m/m virginity to the holiday hotties in C. Margery Kempe’s MAN CITY: MARTIN. I can’t wait to see what seductive adventures lie under the covers in 2014!

I’ll be back with a shiny new post next Sunday. Until then, check out some of my favorites from the archives of my colleagues.

My year-end reflections reveal that I have been writing a lot of hotel sex lately. Madeline Iva describes its luxurious – or slightly scuzzy – appeal.

It seems to have all the things I like in porn and none of the things I don’t. Elizabeth Shore’s strong case for gay porn definitely has me curious!

Spicy hot with just a touch of sweetness … Martin’s just what your winter holiday needs.

You know what they say about idle hands? Yeah, idle penises get into more trouble. Check out C. Margery Kempe’s post. Then make sure your male loved ones aren’t sitting around with nothing to do.

The mission here at Lady Smut is to blend the sensual with the intellectual, right? Well, Kiersten Hallie Krum has two deep questions for you. Ever played against your type? And why would you choose the vampire when you could have the werewolf? Get to blending.

Get your hands warm with Sanj and Sasha …

Liz Everly’s work is like that beautiful park in the traffic circle where food, sex, and exotic travel intersect. But since this time of year puts me in the mood for shopping (and toys), I can’t help but turn to this brief guide to embracing the inner Domme.

So what’s your pleasure? We’ve got plenty to choose from, but don’t risk missing out on something new. Follow Lady Smut now and get ready for a brand new year.

Christmas Cheer From Lady Smut

By Elizabeth Shore

Hey, all ye yuletide revelers. Has the eggnog got you bloated? Are you dying to stick a sock in your blabbermouth Uncle Joe? Do you have visions of mall madness dancing in your head as you battle crowds to return that ill-fitting sweater you pretended to love? Don’t despair, Lady Smut’s got your back. Sit back, relax, and browse through some of our titillating posts over the past year to get your engine revved. Those crowds better watch out after you’re done reading.

Merry Christmas from Lady Smut!

While some folks are dreaming of sugarplums, I want to know where I can find hot Asian men.

The new year is upon us. Start it with sparkle . . . all the way down to your crotch!

Meanwhile, Liz Everly asks, “Why don’t you just shut up and f**k me?

Our own Madeline Iva’s feeling a little gay for sexy British chef Nigella Lawson.

C.M. Kempe’s writing erotic romance her way, with no fears attached.

Say it isn’t so! Alexa Day’s wondering if nice girls are taking over romance.

And Kiersten Hallie Krum’s dishing on dino porn.

Lastly, if those blowhard relatives of yours start wondering why you don’t stop with this writing business and get yourself a real job, tell them to take a long walk off a short pier and never, ever let them put doubt in your head. Because, as we all know, doubt is evil.

Santa Baby,

Hey amazing readers–

Lady Smut is wishing you a fabulous, glorious, Christmas.  Whether you’re out doing good works or at home making holiday happen, we’ll be thinking of you over the break.  We’ll be back on January 5th to bring you more sexy joy.  In the mean time, we’ll be posting some “best of”s occasionally so you can sneak a look at some Lady Smut posts you might have missed.

From all of us to all of you –

Merry Christmas!

Alexa Day

Liz Everly

Madeline Iva

C. Margery Kempe

Kiersten Hallie Krum

Elizabeth Shore

Sexy Saturday Round-Up

Photo by Dollen

Hello Sexy! Are you ready for the Holiday! Whew, boy we are all hungering for a little down time. When you get a chance look over the nuggets of blogs post we found for your this week. Happy Holidays from Lady Smut! Enjoy!

From Liz:

Things we don’t want to see in RomCom.

Kristin Lamb writes a series of blog posts on horror writers you’ve probably never heard of. Here’s the first one.

Kim Harrison offers a Christmas poem.

Tracy Chevalier on less is more in writing.

From CMK:

Fierce gowns that scream world domination.

Call for submissions–erotica.

Success story: nine hints from a best selling author.

From Madeline:

How media let women down in 2013.

Love the sari.

Naked girls dancing–Not! 

Q: Can Guys Write Romance? A: Not these guys

But these guys can!

How much money is in self publishing?

Stay Hungry,

Liz

P.S. Please don’t forget to subscribe to Lady Smut!

Yuletide

by C. Margery Kempe

This time of year has a long history of celebrations for about as long as humans have been around — in fact, probably before that, too. I’m sure any creature would find itself grateful for the return of the light. After weeks of the days getting shorter and the nights longer, passing the winter solstice brings a return of hope — hope that winter will not last forever that spring will return again.

That sense of promise that comes with the passing of the darkest day is something folks in the northern climates feel a little more keenly. The sun’s absence isn’t just a source of melancholy but a reflection of the harshness of winter. While festivals of light from Hanukkah to Diwali embody the hope that light brings, the bright crackle of the yule log gives heat as well as light and makes it possible to live through one more long dark night.

The other traditional emblems of yule like holly and mistletoe also show their northern home. What’s still colorful in the midst of dark winter, when most branches are bare and their leaves no more than a memory? The glossy green of the holly leaves and the blood red of their berries offer a natural decoration that’s pleasing to the eye. The bare branches also reveal the mistletoe wrapped around their bones, too. The ball of green leaves and white berries looks like an ornament left behind (never mind that it’s a parasite, leeching nutrition away from the tree).

But we’re starved for color in the midst of winter: brightly-hued birds also prove popular. Feasting — well, it’s a natural part of any gathering. If you’ve ever trudged through snow to the top of a hill for a yule fire (believe me, I have many times) you know how welcome the hot food will be when you get back down the hill, shaking the snow off your boots and rubbing your hands together for warmth.

You can watch the light of the winter solstice light up Maeshowe in Orkney. Millennia have passed and still the ritual remains intact. It’s inspiring. 

Have a cool Yule. If you want a little more on the older traditions, here’s a piece I wrote some time ago on medieval traditions around this time of year. If you want a holiday read, try my Man City: Martin, an M/M/M ménage.

And don’t forget to sign up to get updates from Lady Smut: you don’t want to miss a thing!

Visit to the Land Down Under: Q&A With Hope Tarr

Jenna Jameson’s bio “How To Make Love Like a Porn Star” talks about the upside and downside of stripping and the porn industry. Wonder if Jameson is as sweet to work with as she’s portrayed in her bio? (which is sometimes not very sweet at all.)

by Madeline Iva

Greetings, kittens! We’ve got Hope Tarr with us today, talking about the land down under, ahem! in more ways than one.

MADELINE IVA: Hope, you write historical, contemporary, and you’ve written for Harlequin.  Are these the three faces of Hope, or will readers find a similar style/voice/point of view in all your books? How naughty do you get with your romances–or does that depend on certain factors?

HOPE TARR: I’d say I have two facets of my writer’s voice. My historicals are more stylized and subtly sensual. In the contemporaries the prose and overall vibe is shorter, snappier, ballsier, if you will. But they’re both still me.  :)Whether I’m doing an historical or contemporary, I tend toward the spicy side of life. SUGAR is the most explicit I’ve gone to date but that’s likely not going to surprise anyone. We have HONEY and SPICE to follow so the challenge will be to keep the heat level high, and the connected stories cooking, throughout a trilogy.

MADELINE IVA: Aussie-Aussie-Aussie–oy,oy,oy! How was going down to Oz, and what’s Anna Campbell like? Was the Australian romance conference landscape similar to that at home (plus accents) or is there anything unique/distinctive about how Aussies like their lovin’?

HOPE TARR: Attending the 2013 Australian Romance Readers Conference last March marked my first time in Oz and I loved it! I actually got to kick off the conference by holding a Lady Jane’s Salon® prior to the Friday night welcome reception. It was the first Lady Jane’s held off US soil–and we had a blast. Anna Campbell was one of my four guest authors reading that night and she’s phenomenal, the nicest person with a great sense of humor and a laugh that lets you know she enjoys life.

There were two distinctive differences from the American romance conferences I’ve attended throughout the years. The first was tea time. There was a morning and a midday tea, which was really quite lovely. The second difference is the decorum of the sessions. Specifically, when you are on a panel, and I was on a few, you are to wait until the moderator calls you to the stage. In one of my sessions, I saw the four empty chairs on stage and just sort of trundled on up. Everyone was very nice about it but it took a while to get the blush burn out of my cheeks.

MADELINE IVA: Whoops! You’re a co-founder of Lady Jane’s Salon®. Can you explain to our audience what that is — and how has it played a role in helping to inspire and sustain your romance writing career?

Need a hot Xmas read? Hope’s got you covered.

HOPE TARR: Lady Jane’s Salon® is New York City’s first, and still only, monthly romance fiction reading series. We’ll be celebrating our fifth anniversary this February, which feels like a huge accomplishment as well as hard to believe.

The Salon meets on the first Monday of the month, 7-9 PM at Madame X in Soho. A typical program comprises four guest authors with a mid point break for attendees to purchase books from our onsite bookseller, Posman Books, and to meet and mingle with authors, fellow readers, industry professionals and, not infrequently, members of the media. The free flowing style of interactions sets us apart from traditional lecture style readings and book clubs. At Lady Jane’s we don’t have Q&A, we have conversations. We don’t have coffee. We have cocktails, or mocktails, as the case may be.

Along with the NYC Salon, we have seven satellites across the country, all of which follow the national model we’ve set of donating their net proceeds to a 501c(3) charity. The NYC Salon supports Women in Need (www.winnyc.org), a wonderful charity established on February 14, 1983 (yes, Valentine’s Day!) that serves disadvantaged women and children in NYC.


Visit us online at www.LadyJaneSalonNYC.com as well as on Twitter and Facebook and well, join the party.

By way of an advance plug, I am launching a digital first charity anthology this February 2014 to benefit WIN. Styled along the lines of the popular Chocolate for a Woman’s Soul series, SCRIBBLING WOMEN AND THE REAL LIFE ROMANCE HEROES WHO LOVE THEM will feature 28 nonfiction essays by popular romance authors, one for each day of February 2014 on how they met, wed, and love their real life significant other. The essays are in now and they’re just…fabulous. I think readers will really enjoy reading a bit about some of their favorite authors’ behind the scenes, and of course it’s all in support of a great cause.

MADELINE IVA: I know you have a contract to publish romance with Entangled. There are a lot of very exciting things going on with this new publisher.  Can you share your latest news with us?

HOPE TARR: Would love to! OPERATION CINDERELLA, the first book in my Suddenly Cinderella series has been option. By Twentieth Century FOX. As a major motion picture. Needless to say, I’m pretty over the moon and of course casting madly in my mind.

MADELINE IVA: Thanks so much for visiting us Hope!

Readers, you can find Hope’s work by clicking on any of the pictures above.  We’ll be keeping an eye out for that movie, but in the meantime please follow our blog!  I’ll see you all in the New Year–
love & gingersnaps,
Madeline

Rolling Around Naked In The Snow

Like this, except in the snow

By Elizabeth Shore

I’m headed off to Finland tomorrow for Christmas with family. Despite the fact that it’s cold and dark there, it’s a good time. Friends, family, great food, incredible pastries, and icy cold vodka. Oh, and there’s also an opportunity to get naked, plunge headfirst into a snowbank, and roll around like a dog in heat. It’s sauna time, baby!

Invented by the Finns thousands of years ago, saunas are as much a part of tradition there as watching football on Sunday is in the U.S. There are a bit over five million people in Finland, and over a million and a half saunas. Families take saunas together, as do friends. It’s not at all uncommon to have a sauna in one’s apartment. And despite the fact that everyone is naked, it’s not regarded as a place for sexy time. Rather, here’s the low-down on how it shakes out:  Step 1, get naked. Step 2, get your naked butt in the hot sauna. The temperature generally ranges from around 160 F. to 200 F, the latter (for me) being too damn hot. Find the place in the sauna where you like to sit. Finnish saunas often have more than one level, with the lower sections being a little cooler (’cause heat rises, yo!).

Step 3: as you’re sitting and sweat begins streaming from your pores, search your soul for strength to stay there as long as possible. Feel the heat. The burn. Throw water on the hot stones to get a cloud of hissing steam making the room even hotter. Do. Not. Leave. Open your mouth, breathe in the steam and heat. Start thinking about getting outta there, but don’t do it. Not yet. Man up and throw more water on the rocks. Grab twigs of birch leaves and begin flogging yourself with them. Open up those pores! Finally, when you can’t take the heat for even a second longer, get out of the sauna and run outdoors, screaming like a banshee, straight into a huge pile of snow. Feel the shocking jolt of your heart race like you’ve just been goosed with a giant cattle prod. Then return to the sauna and repeat the steps above.

George Clooney. Good for a healthy heart. :-)

Once the above ritual has been completed, it’s time to shower and change into comfy clothes for phase 2, which is eating sausage and drinking copious amounts of cold beer. Now, to be fair, not everyone dives into a pile of snow. This is generally reserved for the countryside since it would cause something of a commotion for thousands of naked people to be frolicking about on the streets of Helsinki. In the city, people either just go into a cooler room located right outside of the sauna, or they plunge into a pool rather than a snowbank. Said pool plunge, however, does the trick of getting the ol’ ticker racing faster than an unexpected sighting of George Clooney.

As mentioned above, bump and grind interludes in the sauna itself just aren’t happening. Frankly, the extreme heat is a bit of a buzz kill right at that moment. But that’s not to say that one can’t have fun afterwards. After all, you’re relaxed, you’re clean, and alcohol is flowing through your veins. What’s not to love?

From all of us here at Lady Smut, thank you everyone for reading our posts and sharing your comments with us. We promise you more delicious naughtiness in  2014 and beyond, so be sure to follow so you don’t miss a thing.

Warm holiday hugs,

Elizabeth

Add a Little Nipple to your Holiday Treats

Photo by Denise Mattox.

In SAFFRON NIGHTS, Maeve is served a delicious little dessert called Shanti’s Nipples. The woman serving them is Shanti herself, which gives Maeve a bit of a shock. But Shanti explains they are known as the Nipples of Venus to the rest of the world. These were featured in two movies—Amadeus and Chocolat. Aren’t they lovely? (and don’t you KNOW that my chocolate freak, Sasha, in CRAVINGS would love this little decadent treat!)

This is  a photo of the more traditional made with white chocolate.

YUM! Right?

Here ‘s a recipe I found from the Hungry Browser.

Full disclosure: I’ve not tried this recipe yet, but I will!

Capezzoli di Venere (Nipples of Venus)
SALIERI Cappezzoli di Venere. Nipples of Venus. Roman chestnuts in brandied
sugar.

This is from an Italian cookbook and the author says: "These heavenly
truffles are a little time-consuming but repay the effort.
With fresh chestnuts, the truffles are richer-tasting than with canned. For
variety, add finely chopped toasted almonds or freshly
grated nutmeg to the truffle mixture."

Ingredients
6 oz. bittersweet or semi-sweet chocolate
16 oz. can whole chestnuts, or 1 1/4 pound fresh
6 Tablespoons butter
1/2 cup granulated white sugar
2 1/2 Tablespoons brandy or other liqueur
1 teaspoon vanilla extract
For the chocolate coating ingredients:

14 oz. semi-sweet chocolate
1 to 1 1/2 cups pure cocoa powder
Method
To prepare centers, melt chocolate in a double boiler and allow to cool. If
using fresh chestnuts, cut a cross on the flat side of each shell, put in a
large pan, cover with cold water, and boil for 5 minutes. Remove the shells
and inner skins. Rice the chestnuts. Cream the butter and sugar together
until fluffy, about 3 minutes. Add chestnuts and flavorings to the
butter/sugar mixture and blend well, then stir in the cooled chocolate. Mix
well. Roll into balls 1-1/2 inches in diameter; if mixture becomes too soft
to shape, chill for several minutes.

To coat, melt the chocolate on a plate over boiling water; let cool.
Carefully roll the truffles in melted chocolate, then place on a plate of
cocoa powder and allow to dry for several minutes. Dust each truffle with
cocoa and place in paper candy cup. Store in refrigerator.

Yield: 5 dozen truffles

BTW, I’ve been collecting more food images over on Pinterest. Look me up over there, please. Lurve  Pinterest, how about you? And don’t forget to subscribe to Lady Smut. You don’t want to miss any of our deliciousity. Smirk.

Happy Ho Ho Ho To You

As sure as Christmas trees and Christmas movies in the holiday season are the Christmas adverts. We love ‘em; we hate ‘em. We share ‘em; we deride them. We laugh. We cry. Let’s face it, we usually buy.

The “WestJet Holiday Miracle” is the talk of the holiday advertising buzz on the Interwebs. I guess 25 million youtube views can’t be wrong. Well, they can be, but this time, they’re worthy. Clever and sweet, it personifies the spirit of giving as WestJet employees race to fulfill the unfettered wish list of two planes of passengers.

Sniff. I am not teary. Not one bit. I’m catching a cold,  I swear.

Our culture is saturated with the pressures to buy and sell and have and never more so than around the Christmas holiday season. Yet the right gift can, for a moment, make someone’s rough world a little smoother. Sure, WestJet gets great exposure from their “stunt”, not to mention repeat customers, but they also made this a very special Christmas for several hundred people, some of whom may not have had much expectation of anything at all. Look at those faces in the baggage claim, both of the giftees and the gifters. That’s joy and for many people this time of year, joy is very hard to find. For a few moments, WestJet instilled a little more joy in their passengers’ lives and with this video, allows the rest of the world to feel that joy too.

Which makes such blatantly crass ads, like J.C. Penny’s Black Friday advert that replaced the “Fa La La La La” lyrics in the re-purposed Deck the Halls so that carollers could exhort a soccer mom to “Go Go Go Go Go. Shop Shop Shop Shop.” Stay classy, Pennys.

http://www.ispot.tv/ad/76VM/jc-penney-black-friday-jingle-more-bells

You can’t go wrong with the eternal twee that is Hershey Kisses “We Wish You a Merry Christmas” advert, which is probably why they use it every year.

There’s something to be said for staying with what works, and Folgers does that every time it trots out “Peter Comes Home.” Look, I love “coming home” stories. Do not get me started on those videos of military fathers surprising their kids by coming home for Christmas. So this big brother/little sister advert from 1988 always makes my throat close up even if it does date back to the days before Keurig cups.

My favorite fun advert this year is Kmart’s cheeky (heh) Jingle Bells.

It rang up some controversy of course, because God forbid we have a sexy holiday advert about men. In a youtube search for “sexy holiday commercials,” Kmart’s “Jingle Bells” advert rang is as 18th in the list…following 17 versions of Victoria sharing her secret with the whole world. She’s a giver, that one.

But my favorite advert overall in 2013 is the wonderfully lush series from British department store Marks & Spencer featuring model David Gandy (hmmm, Gandy Candy),  eclectic actress Helena Bonham Carter, and model Rosie Huntington-Whiteley in an opulent Alice in Wonderland, Red Riding Hood, Aladdin, Wizard of Oz mash-up homage.

Before long though, all the buy buy buy mania requires a palate cleanser else we lose sight of our purpose.  Enter the holiday flash mobs, all hung by the mall courts with care. This year the U.S. Air Force Band and Honor Guard took center stage at the National Air and Space Museum to spontaneously serenade patrons first with Bach’s Jesu, Joy of Man’s Desiring before seguing into Joy to the World...complete with celestial choir.

But my personal go-to will always be this one from 2010 when a choir slowly and seamlessly enraptured the harried patrons of this mall food court with The Hallelujah Chorus.

Wary, overstressed, uncertain shoppers who are just trying to catch a crowded bite to eat in the hell that is a mall at Christmastime glance around at the weird people standing up to spontaneously sing. Slowly, as other choir members join in, understanding and awe sweep through the room. The woman who begins it at :33 remains so committed to the performance, even at the 2:07 mark she still has the cell phone prop at her ear and sings the entire song with it lodged there. The man who hoists his “WET FLOOR” stand prop like an announcement banner, arms outstretched in triumph as he boisterously joins in with the tenor and soprano standing on chairs next to him to introduce the third line at :59 . The stunned expression on the transfixed young boy at 1:21 as the full choir erupts in glorious song and the moment his mother, originally suspicious at :37, now moved and filled with joy at 3:06, takes his hand in hers as she sings along - and he holds on. The father at 1:50 resettling his excited toddler into his seat with a loving scratch on his son’s head. The grandmother at 3:03 who wipes tears from her eyes as she records the event on her phone. The joy on the young soprano in the back of the crowd and on the faces of the tenor and alto standing on chairs from 2:34 to 2:42 and again when that young woman from the back is featured at 2:48. The smile on her face as she sings, knowing that in this mix of crazed commercialism, she’s gifting these people with this moment of unfettered joy. And finally, the choirs’ raised arms of triumph as they sing the victorious finale. 

They. Get. It. 

May all the joy be yours and with those you love this blessed holiday season.

Follow LadySmut for an erotic New Year.

Cunning Linguists and Mother Tongues: Hot Accented English

By Alexa Day

More than money, more than power, more than almost anything else a man has – an accent has the power to draw women like a magnet. The only thing hotter than the sound of accented English might be the magic of foreign language itself. But why does it work so well? I’ve got a couple of theories.

It forces you to focus on his mouth. Tight Teutonic sibilance, the languid flow of French, lush, lip-curling Jamaican ease, they each make a man’s mouth work a little differently. More proof that diversity is sexy, right?

It takes a smart man to speak your language. If he doesn’t share your mother tongue, he had to have learned it somewhere.  If he hasn’t conquered it yet, he’s bringing it to heel. Maybe he fought the crazy ins and outs of the English language (especially American English, which is not terribly logical). In any case, it takes a smart cookie to who know your language well enough to be understood, even with his accent.

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Ichabod and his “leftenant,” no doubt puzzling over street directions.

It’s a doorway to another world. The man with an accent has something to teach us – if we stick with him, we might get a language lesson or two. Sure, if we apply ourselves, we can learn the traditional way, with instructors and memorization and all that, but my guess is that our multilingual man can teach us the words that don’t show up on the exam.

I’m just not convinced our affable host here is Dracula.

The power of the accent might be why Sleepy Hollow is working while Dracula circles the drain. I know I’m not the only one tuning in just to hear Tom Mison’s Ichabod Crane say “leftenant.” Poor Ichabod is a classic fish out of water, 250 years away from everything he knows, but that smooth, British sound makes him even more vulnerable because it makes home seem even farther away. Dracula lost me as soon as he started speaking. He might have had all the power of the undead on his side, along with the long, ruthless history of an ancient warrior prince. He moved like the legendary lover and predator he was supposed to be. But Jonathan Rhys Myers sounded like he played beach volleyball for a living. Beach volleyball doesn’t scare me. Much.

Am I just a sucker for that exotic sound? (I will admit that I’ve set the voice on my GPS so that it sounds like an Australian man.) And does my American accent set foreign hearts aflutter? Would it help if I said I was from the South? Share your thoughts on international intrigue in the comments.

And follow Lady Smut. We deal with a couple of international languages here.