Alexandra Bogdanovic's Blog: That's life..., page 4

Defying the politically correct narrative

I've never been the type of person who just goes along with the crowd. Oh, don't get me wrong. I'll conform -- but only on my terms.
So it shouldn't come as surprise that my life -- and my book -- defy the politically correct narrative.
For those of you who don't know what that is, consider the following: The general public and mass media have embraced Caitlyn Jenner, who is is reportedly making a reality TV show chronicling her experience. The Learning Channel (TLC) is airing a program about a young transgender girl and her family. In the promos, the girl and her family cheerfully discusses their experience.
So there you have it: instant acceptance... and the politically correct narrative.
Well, I hate to break it to everybody, but there is reality TV and there is real life.
Real life is complicated. Real life is ugly. Real life is tedious. Real life is boring. Real life can't be edited or chopped up into neat, tidy little segments for the sake of entertainment.
In the real world, acceptance, tolerance and understanding aren't always easy to come by. Forgiveness doesn't always happen overnight. Sometimes letting go of the past takes time. Sometimes finding peace does, too.
In my book, I share my story... or more accurately my journey. I tell how I met the man of my dreams; how we fell in love and got married. I share how I learned the painful truth he struggled with and hid from the world for years. I share what happened after I learned the truth.
I told Audrey (who was still Adam at the time) that I would never hate her because she is transgender. I didn't then. I never have and I never will.
Still, my journey wasn't easy. It wasn't pleasant. In my book I was brutally honest about all of that -- and with good reason. After all, the book is called, Truth be Told: Adam Becomes Audrey.
That being stated, I am not sharing a universal truth. I am simply sharing my own.
Until next time, "That's life..."

Vanity metrics and other stuff

To paraphrase a famous wordsmith, it's been the best of times, it's been the worst of times.
Actually it hasn't been that bad.
My memoir cracked the top 50 in its Kindle category, reaching #30 last Wednesday. That's the lowest it's been since I finally bit the bullet and had an e-book published in 2014, so that was pretty cool.
Within the last week or so, I've also gotten my first one and two-star reviews here on goodreads, but believe it or not, that's pretty cool, too. As I've always said, it's important to accept praise with humility and criticism with grace. I appreciate everyone's interest in my work and respect their right to express their opinion.
After all, I'm not just an author. I am a reader, too. And as a reader I'm certainly not shy about sharing my own opinion. I mean, The Goldfinch won a Pulitzer and I HATED that book -- with a passion. Honestly, I'm not that crazy about Hilary Mantel's work, either.
But the one thing I always try to do, especially when I'm reading non-fiction or memoir: I always try to keep an open mind. It's not easy, but I try not to let my life experience influence my feelings about the book. If something really bugs me, I try to pinpoint exactly what it is. Is it the writing? Is it the story? Is it the way the author has chosen to tell his or her story? Am I judging the author or the author's life? Did I let any preconceptions influence my opinion or cloud my judgment?
For me, the answers vary.
What about you? Do you judge some genres more harshly than others? Do you pick up a book with an open mind or great expectations? Do you let your own life experience influence your feelings about the books you read? Do you judge the author or the book, or both?
Let me know.
Until next time, "That's life..."

It's all in the past

So I just finished reading The Lady from Zagreb by Philip Kerr.
I must admit, it took longer than I expected. It was a long book, and slogging through the first 60 pages or so was a chore. The plot development in this mystery/thriller was painfully slow.
I stuck with it because of my personal background and my plans to write a book based on my father's experience as a political refugee in post-World War II Europe. I hoped this book would lend some insight into the civil war, political turmoil, and general chaos that enveloped the former Yugoslavia during World War II.
In that sense, the story didn't disappoint.
But that wasn't the only reason it was worth the effort. As it turns out the author has a snarffy, irreverent writing style that rivals my own. The irreverence is most evident in the actions and attitude of the protagonist, Bernie Gunther.
So without further ado, here are some of the "Guntherisms" that won me over, made me laugh, and left me thinking, "Now that's so wrong... funny, but wrong."
1. Detectives are supposed to solve murders, not commit them.
2. But if you're to keep your head on your shoulders you're going to have to make sure you don't lose it, first.
3. All that matters now is today. And that's all that will matter tomorrow. And the day after.
4. You see, when you're a detective and you find out that someone killed someone else, it says on page one of the police manual that you're supposed to do something about it.
5. We're all using someone else for something if we're really honest about it.
6. Good people are never as good as you probably think they are, and the bad ones aren't as bad. Not half as bad. On different days we're all good. And on other days, we're evil.
7. Men in our profession need to be alone so that we can ignore the roar of our colleagues' ignorance and stupidity and think for ourselves.
8. That's why they pay us. To waste our time.
9. It's not just nice, innocent people who get murdered. Not so innocent ones do, too. Perhaps someone bashed her head in because she deserved it. Did you think about that for a motive?
10. If no one reported this lady missing, then it can only be because no one missed her. And if no one missed her, then it might be because people were glad to see the back of her.
11. And that's what's called cynicism.
Until next time, "That's life..."

Every so often...

Lord, it's hot in here. And I'm tired - and cranky. My brain is feeling frazzled because I've been cramming for my Family Law final all afternoon. And I've got a guilty conscience because I should still be studying.
But it's Monday and that means I've got a blog to write, and well, now is as good a time as any... especially since I came across such an inspirational quote. Okay, okay, "inspirational quotation" for all of you grammar freaks out there.
It happens every so often. I read or hear something that really resonates with me. Frequently, the quotation that makes me laugh or smile, or groan, or want to put my fist through the wall, is something I come across while reading. Sometimes it is a "goodreads quote of the day," like this one.
I liked it so much, I shared it on Twitter, along with the editorial comment, "Hell, yeah!"
I think it resonated with me so strongly because, like many of you, I've spent years toiling away as a writer. Long before I became an award-winning author, I was an award-winning journalist. Now that was a thankless profession.
I spent more than two decades working long hours for what amounted to less than minimum wage along side and for people whom I freely admit I hated then and still do to this day. Yes, I hold a grudge -- and yes, I can assure you that the general public has every right to detest the mainstream media. Trust me.
But I digress. The fact is I never would have become an award-winning author if I'd never been a reporter. Working in the newspaper business for 21 years provided me with invaluable experience. Sure, I learned how to write -- and how to do it well. But I learned much more than that. I learned how to accept praise with humility and criticism with grace. I learned that a thick skin is essential and self-confidence trumps all.
I learned that writing -- in any form -- is a creative endeavor. As such, it is judged subjectively. Some people will love what you write with good reason and some people will hate what you write for no reason at all. A few people will let you know when they like your work... but don't hold your breath. Most people won't. Most people will let you know when they don't like something, but don't sweat it... that's just human nature and let's face it, everyone is entitled to their opinion.
Yes, everyone is a critic... and as I just said, that's fine. Personally I don't care how many people hate my work, as long as they keep buying my book. Indifference is far more bothersome to me than someone's honest opinion.
Still I can't help but wonder if all of those critics understand or appreciate how difficult writing truly is. It takes more than skill. It takes a certain amount of intestinal fortitude, especially for those of us who decide to share our life stories with the world. We do so knowing that readers will judge not only our stories, but the way in which we choose to relay them. In so doing we make ourselves incredibly vulnerable.
Yet when push comes to shove, we are not alone. Everyone has a story. So, to put it simply,"if you do not like someone else's story, write your own."
Until next time, "That's life..."

One-oh-three... and counting

It suddenly dawned on me that I've been doing this for a while now.
By my reckoning, I've been blogging here on goodreads for two years... give or take a few weeks.
At first it was something I felt compelled to do. As authors... or more accurately, as indie authors it's something we're supposed to do. Right?
According to the experts, (whoever they are) blogging is supposed to help us "build our brand," develop a following, or a fan base, etc., etc., etc.
So I set out to follow their advice (for what its worth), came up with a name for my blog and wrote my first post, called "Here I am."
Since I introduced myself in that first post, I've written about my adventures as an author, my adventures in general, my book, politics (sort of), capitalism, patriotism, sports, celebrities family, travel, New York, Europe, Australia and (last but not least) my cat.
I've been serious, I've been snarffy, I've been unabashedly opinionated and I've made no apologies for any of it. I've been true to "my brand" and more importantly, I've been true to myself.
That's not to say I haven't made a few changes along the way. I started writing on Wednesdays and then shifted to Thursdays. Somewhere along the line I started blogging on Sundays and now I'm doing a Monday blog. Go figure.
It took some time, but I mastered enough html formatting to get by and -- after quite a bit of frustration -- I learned how to include photographs in the posts.
But something far more important changed. What began as a chore and became a habit also became fun. My weekly post morphed from something I dreaded to something I actually enjoy.
For those of you who have been along for the ride since day one and those of you who joined in the fun, all I can say is thank you so much. I couldn't have done it without you.
Until next time, "That's life..."

My Best Pal

The following is written in celebration of National Best Friends Day.
With apologies to my human pals (and believe it or not, I do have some), none of you will get a mention in this blog. It's not that you don't deserve it. You know you do.
But in honor of National Best Friends Day, I decided to dedicated to dedicate this blog to Eli. After all, he's never trash talked me behind my back. He's never spread any rumors or engaged in malicious gossip (that I know of). He's never betrayed me and never doubted my devotion to him.
He's a great listener; he sits quietly as I tell him about my day, or rant about politics or sports.
He's always been a shoulder to cry on, even though I know how much he hates getting wet.
He's not all that demanding, either. All he ever asks for is food, water, and a little affection once in a while.
That's not to say we always get along. We've had our share of disagreements and sometimes I get the worst of it. But Eli doesn't hold a grudge... and I try not to. Even if I do, it doesn't last for long.
In case you haven't figure it out, Eli is my cat. He's also my best friend.
Until next time, "That's life..."

Beat it, Johnny

If there's one thing I hate, it's someone with a sense of entitlement. If there's one thing I really hate it's a celebrity with a sense of entitlement.
So not surprisingly I wasn't impressed when Johnny Depp became the center of an epic controversy in Australia while I was there.
Apparently Mr. Depp arrived in the Land Down Under on a private jet. In and of itself, that is certainly no big deal. It only became a big deal because he (allegedly supposedly purportedly reportedly) brought his dogs along... without informing the proper authorities.
Needless to say, the proper authorities -- who are tasked with enforcing the country's rigorous immigration and customs regulations -- weren't impressed when they learned about the (alleged) transgression. Because all domestic animals that enter Australia must be quarantined to ensure they aren't bringing any dangerous parasites or other diseases into the country that could harm animals or people, the Australian minister of agriculture was especially peeved.
In televised appearances, he said the laws apply to everyone -- and that ignorance is no excuse for disobeying them. Then he basically told Mr. Depp to take his dogs and go home -- or else.
The media ate it up. In quintessential Australian style, the press dubbed the controversy "The War on Terriers." It was so wrong -- funny -- but wrong.
Whether he cared to admit it or not, Johnny Depp was wrong, too. As an Australian, I was angry that he thought he could just waltz into town with his dogs in tow and get away with breaking the law. As an American I wasn't surprised.
Until next time, "That's life..."

There's a lot to be said...

It's now a little more than 24 hours since I returned from my trip to Australia, where I helped my grandfather celebrate his 100th birthday. To mark the occasion, I am sharing some reflections on the place where I spent the last two weeks.
There's a lot to be said...
There's a lot to be said for a place with endless skies, where clouds bring little chance of rain.
There's something to be said about coming 'home' again.
Home is a little country town, where shops close at noon on Saturdays.
Home is the kind of place where even strangers greet you with a nod,
and a heartfelt "G'day."
It is a place where no one hesitates to help, when you need a hand.
That type of cooperation is essential on the land.
It is a place where kangaroos go bounding through the hills; a place of frosty morns and winter evening chills.
It's a place where my heart remains, when I'm ten thousand miles away.
It's a place I always hate to leave... but have no doubt about it; I'll be back again some day.

Until next time, "That's life..."

I'm not a hater... really

Those of you who follow me on Twitter may have been a bit taken aback by some of the comments I've made about Diane Sawyer's interview with Bruce Jenner on Friday night.
Those of you who don't follow me on Twitter might have been taken aback if you knew what I said.
But I'm not a hater. Really...
If anything I'm just aggravated. Make that really aggravated.
When "Truth" came out in 2012, the mainstream media was all over the Chaz Bono story. Now Diane Sawyer (and everyone else) is salivating over the Bruce Jenner story.
Why?
The truth is, neither one of them has anything to lose. Both are well off and that alone gives them a tremendous advantage over the vast majority of transgender individuals. Or to put it another way, their wealth gives them access to resources that others simply don't have.
Because they are in the public eye, Chaz and Bruce (I don't know what Bruce prefers to be called) can tell their stories with little fear of discrimination.
Some people might think that giving them a chance to share their stories will help promote tolerance and spread awareness about the transgender community. It's fantastic if it does. I honestly hope that's the case.
But let's face it. I am a cynic and a realist. So I don't think it will do a lick of good. After all, Diane Sawyer interviewed Bruce Jenner for one reason and one reason only -- to get ratings.
Apparently it worked. But as far as I'm concerned, if she (and the rest of the mainstream media) really want to help the transgender community, they should seek out ordinary people who are forced to cope with extraordinary circumstances.
Just because someone isn't a celebrity doesn't mean their story isn't important. If anything it means just the opposite.
Until next time, "That's life..."

I love New York

It doesn't really matter if you've met me in person or in print. Either way, you always know where I stand on any issue. I speak my mind. I don't care what anyone thinks.
Yes, I am brash. I am outspoken... and opinionated.
So of course I love New York.
It's filthy. It's grimy. It's crowded. It's loud. It's ridiculously expensive. It's tough. It's resilient. It's beautiful.
There is no room for argument or debate. There is no doubt about it. New York City is the greatest city in the world. Period. End of story.
If you don't believe me, consider the following:
1. “The city seen from the Queensboro Bridge is always the city seen for the first time, in its first wild promise of all the mystery and the beauty in the world.” ― F. Scott Fitzgerald, The Great Gatsby
2. “I love New York, even though it isn't mine, the way something has to be, a tree or a street or a house, something, anyway, that belongs to me because I belong to it.”
― Truman Capote
3. “The true New Yorker secretly believes that people living anywhere else have to be, in some sense, kidding.”― John Updike
4. “One belongs to New York instantly, one belongs to it as much in five minutes as in five years.” ― Tom Wolfe
5. “New York is an ugly city, a dirty city. Its climate is a scandal, its politics are used to frighten children, its traffic is madness, its competition is murderous.
But there is one thing about it - once you have lived in New York and it has become your home, no place else is good enough.”
― John Steinbeck
6. “London is satisfied, Paris is resigned, but New York is always hopeful. Always it believes that something good is about to come off, and it must hurry to meet it.”
― Dorothy Parker
7. “You can do what you like, sir, but I'll tell you this. New York is the true capital of America. Every New Yorker knows it, and by God, we always shall.”― Edward Rutherfurd, New York
8. “New York is made up of millions of different people, and they all come here looking for something” ― Lindsey Kelk, I Heart New York
9. “When you leave New York, you are astonished at how clean the rest of the world is. Clean is not enough.” ― Fran Lebowitz
10.“Practically everybody in New York has half a mind to write a book -and does”― Groucho Marx
11. “When you leave New York you ain't going anywhere.” ― Jimmy Breslin
12. “My advice for aspiring writers is go to New York. And if you can’t go to New York, go to the place that represents New York to you, where the standards for writing are high, there are other people who share your dreams, and where you can talk, talk, talk about your interests. Writing books begins in talking about it, like most human projects, and in being close to those who have already done what you propose to do.”
― Walter Kirn
Until next time, "That's life..."