Alexandra Bogdanovic's Blog: That's life... - Posts Tagged "transgender"

The news spread like wildfire.
Earlier this week, the world learned that Chris Beck -- a retired member of one of the U.S. military's most heralded special operations units -- is now Kristin.
Given Beck's service on SEAL Team 6, the Navy veteran's decision to detail her transition and share her new identity in her memoir "Warrior Princess" will no doubt ruffle some high-ranking feathers. But it could also prompt America's armed forces to revisit policies that now prohibit transgender men and women from serving their country.
If the latter happens -- or better yet, if the memoir helps to promote compassion and understanding as Beck hopes -- it's definitely a good thing. But in any case, Beck's decision to come forward took tremendous courage -- the same courage it no doubt took to face our enemies overseas. She should be commended.
Sadly the same cannot be said for the mainstream media, whose coverage of the story was once again designed to appeal to the lowest common denominator.
For all of the sensational headlines splashed across the Internet and all of the details about Beck herself, I found myself thinking about her family and friends. Beck says they've been supportive, and while there's no reason to believe otherwise, I can't help but wonder how they felt when they first learned the truth. Were they shocked? Scared? Angry? Hurt? Did they feel betrayed? Who helped her through her transition? Who walked away?
Perhaps Beck answers these questions in her book. But from what I can tell from mainstream media accounts, no one has bothered to ask.
That's sad.
And until next time, "That's Life..."

Depending on the online dictionary you use, an amuse-bouche is defined as "a single bite-size hors d'oeuvre" (Wikipedia), "a small complimentary appetizer offered at some restaurants"(merriam-webster.com), or "a small, savory portion of food served before a meal, typically without charge at restaurants" (yourdictionary.com).
Because it has been so hot that my poor little brain feels like it has been fried -- and because I can't think of a bloody thing to write this week -- I am hereby serving up a literary amuse-bouche in the form of an excerpt from Truth Be Told: Adam Becomes Audrey.
Bon appetit!
------------
I didn’t want to tell anyone about my past, much less anything about Adam. After all, I had come to Virginia to put it behind me and start a new life.
Nevertheless, curiosity abounded. People wondered what brought a single young woman from the New York City suburbs to Warrenton, of all places. I told them -- a bit gruffly -- that I needed a change of scenery and that I had left everything I’d ever known to join the staff of what had once been one of the best suburban newspapers in the country.
I never imagined the first person I’d confide in would be a high-ranking cop. Yet somehow, even though we’d only known each other for a few months, I knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that I could trust Major Paul F. Mercer Jr.
“I got married at a horse show -- at the Hampton Classic Horse Show, one of the most prestigious shows on the east coast,” I told him on what promised to be a typically hot and humid June day. “It was a fairy-tale wedding. We got married on the grand prix field. We had a horse-drawn carriage, seventy-five invited guests and three thousand spectators. Oh, and it was on TV,” I added, almost as an afterthought.
Traffic on Route 50 crawled past the Upperville Horse Show grounds, and then came to an abrupt halt behind a motorist who wanted to turn into the wrong gate. Major Mercer stepped off the grassy shoulder to talk to her and quickly pointed the wayward driver in the right direction.
“So what happened?” he asked when he returned to his cruiser.
“What?” I said.
“You were saying you had this fairy-tale wedding. Apparently, things didn’t work out. What happened?”
I wanted to tell him. I just didn’t know how.
Sitting on the ground behind his black Ford Crown Victoria, I began pulling up blades of grass. One by one, I let them slip through my fingers.
“I’ll tell you,” I replied, eying the trim, uniformed man with short, prematurely gray hair who, as third in command, was also the public information officer at the Fauquier County Sheriff’s Office. “But only if you promise not to tell anyone else.”
“I promise,” he replied, becoming uncharacteristically grave.
“Okay.” I took a deep breath, dropped my gaze and resumed uprooting the grass. “So, you know what a transsexual is?” I asked.
Rip, up came another fistful of grass. Rip, rip, rip. Tattered blades fell softly back onto the earth.
“Yes.”
“Well, Adam -- a couple of years after we got married I found out Adam is really a woman -- or wanted to be a woman. We got divorced. He went and had the surgery and everything, so he’s ... she’s Audrey now.”
I bit my lower lip and dropped another handful of shredded grass before I finally looked up, dreading a look of dismay, disbelief or disgust and half-expecting to see his trademark grin.
He remained serious. “Alex,” he paused. “I’m a country boy but I’ve also been a cop for a long time and I’ve seen a lot of strange things in my career. I can’t understand why anyone would do that, or begin to understand what you’ve been through. I will never tell anyone and I will never tease you about it -- unless you open the door. Okay?”
He extended his hand and I reached up to take it. The lithe major’s strength surprised me as he pulled me to my feet.
“Okay,” I said, meeting his gaze and returning the handshake. “Thanks.”
It turned out to be the first of many conversations we had about my ex. The subject became a matter of dispute, debate and more “counseling sessions” than I cared to admit. Paul was never shy about doling out personal and professional advice, and teased me relentlessly about billing me for it. He also kept his word and never joked about Adam unless I fired the first salvo.
As much as I loathed talking about my ex, time made it easier to share my story with friends, sources and coworkers. More often than not, I broached the subject when female acquaintances bemoaned the rough times in their own relationships.
“That really sucks,” I would inevitably say after listening to their tale of woe. “But I bet I’ve got a story that tops it.”
In time, it became an inside joke among my closest friends.
“Trust me,” one of my best pals, Christiana, said when the dinner party conversation at her house once turned to crappy relationships, “Alex has a story that can top that.”
-------
Until next time, "That's life..."

So Bradley Manning wants to be a woman. Or thinks he's a woman. A woman named Chelsey, to be precise.
And now that he's been convicted, he/she wants to go through her transition while she's incarcerated. Ain't that grand?
All joking aside, you'd think after everything I've been through, I'd be more tolerant. But truth be told (pun definitely intended) I'm sick of these kind of stories garnering national headlines. First all of the fuss about Chaz Bono. Then the fuss about the former Navy SEAL who came out as transgender earlier this summer. Now this.
Why now, Mr. Manning? Or is that Ms. Manning? Have you leaked so many secrets you could no longer keep your own? What makes you so special?
Frankly I don't know and I don't care. I wonder if anyone else does?
Until next time, "That's life..."

There are times when being a journalist has its advantages, and at the risk of tooting my own horn, I think this morning was definitely one of them.
You see, I had an interview with News Director Tony Savino on WGCH, 1490 AM in Greenwich. As I expected, we discussed my book, "Truth Be Told: Adam Becomes Audrey." But because of the way I pitched the interview request, I wasn't sure going into the studio if that was all he was going to ask me about.
So I did what any good reporter would do. I did my homework. I re-read articles about the Employment Non Discrimination Act (ENDA), federal legislation passed by the senate earlier this month. I read articles about the Transgender Day of Remembrance (held annually on Nov. 20) and I reviewed terminology and statistics included in my own book. I took notes on the potential talking points and memorized everything. I asked my mom to help me review everything before I left the house.
Even though it turned out that Tony and I didn't talk about anything other than my story, the effort was worthwhile because radio is tricky. Unless there is an entire program devoted to a given topic, interviews are typically very short. In this case, I had just eight minutes to share my message, story and brand. And because the interview was live, I couldn't afford to stumble or fumble a question; there were no "do-overs."
Even though I was a little bit nervous beforehand, being prepared helped put me at ease once once I was in the proverbial hot seat. More importantly, it allowed me to articulate my message in a clear, concise and professional manner.
I can't stress how much proper preparation will help you, too. After all the hard work you put in to landing that elusive print, radio or TV interview, you've got to make the most of it.
Do you want more tips about how to deal with the media? Leave a comment for me and I'll definitely respond.
Until next time, "That's life..."

Those of you who follow me on Twitter may have been a bit taken aback by some of the comments I've made about Diane Sawyer's interview with Bruce Jenner on Friday night.
Those of you who don't follow me on Twitter might have been taken aback if you knew what I said.
But I'm not a hater. Really...
If anything I'm just aggravated. Make that really aggravated.
When "Truth" came out in 2012, the mainstream media was all over the Chaz Bono story. Now Diane Sawyer (and everyone else) is salivating over the Bruce Jenner story.
Why?
The truth is, neither one of them has anything to lose. Both are well off and that alone gives them a tremendous advantage over the vast majority of transgender individuals. Or to put it another way, their wealth gives them access to resources that others simply don't have.
Because they are in the public eye, Chaz and Bruce (I don't know what Bruce prefers to be called) can tell their stories with little fear of discrimination.
Some people might think that giving them a chance to share their stories will help promote tolerance and spread awareness about the transgender community. It's fantastic if it does. I honestly hope that's the case.
But let's face it. I am a cynic and a realist. So I don't think it will do a lick of good. After all, Diane Sawyer interviewed Bruce Jenner for one reason and one reason only -- to get ratings.
Apparently it worked. But as far as I'm concerned, if she (and the rest of the mainstream media) really want to help the transgender community, they should seek out ordinary people who are forced to cope with extraordinary circumstances.
Just because someone isn't a celebrity doesn't mean their story isn't important. If anything it means just the opposite.
Until next time, "That's life..."