Alexandra Bogdanovic's Blog: That's life... - Posts Tagged "reality"

One of the authors groups over on LinkedIn is currently having a very interesting discussion about descriptive writing.
Questions and answers are being bandied about faster than an Olympic ping pong ball as members share their experiences and opinions. Why does descriptive writing come easily to some writers? Why do others struggle? What is the best way to include description in your story? Where is the line between too much description and not enough?
It's a conversation I happily jumped into because of my experiences as a reporter and an author.
As a reporter who excelled at feature writing I swore by the mantra, "put the reader there." So few details escaped notice as I wrote award-winning stories about truck traffic in a quasi-rural Virginia community and a former Long Island firefighter's recollections of 9/11 on the 10th anniversary of the terrorist attacks.
As an author I swear by the same mantra. But after reading the second draft of Truth Be Told: Adam Becomes Audrey, my editor cautioned me against including too much detail that would distract from my story. Heeding her advice, I deleted a lot of the extraneous details -- but not all of them.
Based on early feedback about my book, it seems some readers feel I didn't remove enough. And that's perfectly OK. In fact, they may even have a valid point.
But the truth is, I deliberately included a lot of minutia and mundane details about our marriage to show that my ex-husband and I were two ordinary people living very ordinary lives until I learned his secret.
Far from detracting from my story, I think the fact that I share details about burning the pancakes one morning, and about a disastrous Thanksgiving meal make the rest of the story even more shocking. One day everything was "normal." Then all of a sudden, it wasn't.
Readers who choose to skim these details in hopes of finding some signs that something was amiss in my marriage before I learned my ex-husband's secret will be disappointed. There weren't any. But that too makes the rest of the story more shocking.
Readers in search of a scandalous, celebrity tell-all type book will also be disappointed. This isn't tabloid fodder. It isn't the basis for a reality TV show. This is a book about real people and real life. And it it can't be more realistic.
Until next time, "That's life..."

Author's/Blogger's Note: The following is dedicated to rabid sports fans around the world.
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Once upon a time, there was a little girl who grew up in the New York City suburbs. Although she was raised in a multicultural household, she quickly developed an appreciation for anything American... especially baseball.
She fell in love with the New York Yankees at the tender age of seven and by the time she finished elementary school, she had amassed a bigger baseball card collection than any of the boys had. She also had a crush on catcher Rick Cerone.
Sadly, one thing led to another and her passion for baseball waned. But all was not lost. As a teenager, she fell in love with ice hockey and developed a whole new passion -- this time for the New York Islanders. By the time she jumped on the bandwagon, the team was in its glory, having won the Stanley Cup three straight times. The teenage girl adored brash young goalie Billy Smith, and feisty Bobby Nystrom. But ultimately a big, rugged winger named Clark Gillies won her heart.
Around the same time, the girl realized she could write fairly well, and with the help of her freshman English teacher, started covering high school sports for the local newspaper. Her dream at the time was to become a beat writer for Newsday and -- you guessed it -- cover professional ice hockey.
In fact she was so vocal about her passion for the sport -- and her favorite team -- that her classmates named her "Class Islander" in the senior yearbook. Her classmates also decided that any girl who could write so well would be found working at Sports Illustrated within 10 years after graduation.
As it turned out, our heroine's dreams came true much sooner than anyone predicted. Soon after graduating from college, she started going to New York Islanders practices. There, she met her best friend, a young talented photographer. And together, they began covering minor league and professional ice hockey.
In their 20s, they were living every sports fan's dreams. They knew all the players and had locker room access. Life couldn't have possibly been any better. Or could it?
Along the way, something happened to our heroine. She no longer idolized the athletes she once adored. She realized that professional sports aren't all they're cracked up to be, and that the men who make a living playing games don't deserve the blind adulation society showers upon them.
Oh, some of the players she knew were phenomenal athletes. Some were even good people. Others weren't so good. For better or worse, all were human. Not gods. Not superheroes. Not even heroes. Just men blessed with skill, talent and good luck that allowed them to reach the highest level of their chosen profession. Nothing more, nothing less.
As soon as that reality set in, the "little girl" grew up, and the sports fan she once was disappeared for good.
Yes, you guessed it. I was that little girl. And I have no regrets.
Until next time, "That's life..."

I've never been the type of person who just goes along with the crowd. Oh, don't get me wrong. I'll conform -- but only on my terms.
So it shouldn't come as surprise that my life -- and my book -- defy the politically correct narrative.
For those of you who don't know what that is, consider the following: The general public and mass media have embraced Caitlyn Jenner, who is is reportedly making a reality TV show chronicling her experience. The Learning Channel (TLC) is airing a program about a young transgender girl and her family. In the promos, the girl and her family cheerfully discusses their experience.
So there you have it: instant acceptance... and the politically correct narrative.
Well, I hate to break it to everybody, but there is reality TV and there is real life.
Real life is complicated. Real life is ugly. Real life is tedious. Real life is boring. Real life can't be edited or chopped up into neat, tidy little segments for the sake of entertainment.
In the real world, acceptance, tolerance and understanding aren't always easy to come by. Forgiveness doesn't always happen overnight. Sometimes letting go of the past takes time. Sometimes finding peace does, too.
In my book, I share my story... or more accurately my journey. I tell how I met the man of my dreams; how we fell in love and got married. I share how I learned the painful truth he struggled with and hid from the world for years. I share what happened after I learned the truth.
I told Audrey (who was still Adam at the time) that I would never hate her because she is transgender. I didn't then. I never have and I never will.
Still, my journey wasn't easy. It wasn't pleasant. In my book I was brutally honest about all of that -- and with good reason. After all, the book is called, Truth be Told: Adam Becomes Audrey.
That being stated, I am not sharing a universal truth. I am simply sharing my own.
Until next time, "That's life..."

The day after the terrorist attacks in Paris, I went to the movies.
Seeking comfort, and thinking I might find it in a film featuring characters beloved since my childhood, I considered seeing the new Peanuts movie.
I settled for Spectre instead. In all honesty I wasn't sure I could handle the make-believe violence 24 hours after real life violence claimed the lives of so many innocent people. But I went because I needed reassurance.
In the wake of so much sadness and so much mindless hatred, I wanted to be reassured that the good guys do win. That evil can be vanquished. That the values we cherish in free, civilized societies are worth fighting for. That there are still a few people who are brave enough to defend them.
In the midst of all of the predictable car chases, car crashes and general mayhem that is an integral part of any Bond film, I found what I was looking for. I went to see Spectre and I found "a quantum of solace."
In the weeks since then, more real-life violence erupted, this time in California.
Much like a James Bond martini, my faith has once again been shaken. It feels like the world is upside down, or maybe sideways. Any way you look at it, it's a big, bad, scary place. There's no doubt about it.
But I still have faith. The good guys will win.
It's just a matter of time.
Until next time, "That's life..."