Alexandra Bogdanovic's Blog: That's life... - Posts Tagged "differences"

I've been thinking about my family a lot lately.
I thought about it while I was watching the fantastic film Nebraska the other day. I thought about it while I was old episodes of Deadliest Catch over the weekend, and it was definitely on my mind during a long-distance phone call on Saturday night.
And who could blame me? As I shared in last week's blog my grandfather, our family patriarch, will (God willing) celebrate his 100th birthday in May. I haven't seen him since 2009, but I will definitely be there to help him celebrate this momentous occasion. So will all of his adult children, the rest of his grandchildren and great-grandchildren.
Of course, a full family reunion never happens without a little bit of drama -- and sadly the lead-up to this one is no exception to the rule. Much of it has to do with past issues and some of it has to do with ongoing differences of opinion. Beyond that I won't go into detail, nor will I call anyone out by name. This is neither the time nor the forum for that -- and I don't believe in airing private issues publicly.
That's not to say I won't speak my mind. I will choose my words carefully -- because because once they are written or uttered words can't be taken back -- but I will let everyone know where I stand.
So to those of you causing all of the drama (and you damn well know who you are) I say this:
1. Life is way too short for petty nonsense.
2. This isn't about you, or me, or anyone else for that matter. It is just about Grandpa. It is about celebrating his life, his achievements, his contributions to his community and his love for his family.
Grandpa doesn't have -- and has never had -- a selfish bone in his body. He isn't interested in materialistic things. So have you ever even for a nanosecond stopped to consider that in his waning years, perhaps all he would like is to be able to think that past hurts can be forgiven; that egos can be put aside; that his family can come together happily -- for his sake if for nothing else?
Never mind. That was clearly a rhetorical question. Actions speak louder than words, and judging by your behavior, the answer is a resounding no. The fact that to date, you have been unable or unwilling to put your own issues and agendas aside long enough to participate in group activities to honor Grandpa is, quite frankly, reprehensible. The fact that some of you think that just showing up is a gift in and of itself disgusts me. The fact that some of you are put out because you have to travel a few extra miles and spend a few extra dollars to come to the party blows my mind.
To reiterate in case you didn't get it the first time -- this isn't about you. It isn't about what you want. It isn't about what is easiest or most convenient for you. So stop thinking about yourselves for once. I promise you the world won't stop revolving.
Having said that, I will now issue a challenge. Look at the photo accompanying this blog. The tree in the center represents Grandpa. Around it are different paths. On one hand, they seem to start at the same point -- and then branch off. This could represent division and separation.
But look again. Look closely. Now do you see? From another perspective, the paths seem to begin in different places and come together in front of the tree. To me this represents unity.
Let me know which path you'll take.
Until next time, "That's life..."

Judging from the lack of views last week's post got, a lot of you don't care about my view of presidential politics or the media attention it generates.
Here's a news flash for you: that's your loss.
My purpose in writing these blogs isn't to solicit support or agreement. I honestly couldn't care less whether or not you agree with what I think, I just want you to THINK! As I've said on many occasions, the paucity of critical, independent thought in the United States of America these days is staggering.
That being stated, if I can get even one person to stop and consider another point of view, or to question their own point of view, I have done my job. That was my philosophy as a journalist and as an author. It will be my philosophy until I take my last breath.
Now that I've gotten that off my chest, let's move on to this week's topic. It's something I've been thinking a lot about in light of the book based on my father's life I am now writing and in the wake of the Pope's visit. Yes, I've been thinking about the biggest lie ever told: that all men are created equal.
While it is fundamentally true that all of us have certain needs -- the need for food, shelter, love and companionship -- any similarity or "equality" begins and ends right there.
We are born into different cultures, and different socioeconomic strata. From the beginning we learn different languages. We learn to follow different religious and political ideologies. We are raised with different aspirations. We excel in different academic, creative and athletic pursuits. As a result, we celebrate different achievements.
And yet, from the time we first come together as children, we are encouraged, if not forced, to believe that we are all the same. We are taught to behave accordingly. As we grow up, were are told that our similarities should unite us, and if we would just embrace them, everyone would get along and the world would be a much better place.
The problem is that -- for the reasons I mentioned above -- this idea is fundamentally and fatally flawed. If there is any hope for humanity, it will rest in our ability to change that line of thinking. Instead of celebrating our "similarity" and "equality" we must learn to recognize, understand and respect each other's differences. We must celebrate individuality and individualism.
I, for one, am a truly unique human being. And I am damn proud of it.
Until next time, "That's life..."