Alexandra Bogdanovic's Blog: That's life... - Posts Tagged "relatives"

Yes, I know. I usually do new blog posts on Wednesdays.
But I'm not slacking -- I promise. I just had a really hard time coming up with something to write about this week. In fact I was stumped... until an interviewer asked me a routine question about my book.
She wanted to know how my family reacted to it. The answer came fairly easily. After all my mom, who is my only immediate family and my only relative in the United States, has been extremely supportive. I never would have had the courage to write my book, much less have it published, without Mom's unconditional love and encouragement. She is definitely my hero.
I also wanted to say something about the rest of my family, but I wasn't thinking about the relatives living all over the world.
Because I'm an only child, my closest friends are more like brothers and sisters to me. They're the people who helped me pick up the pieces after my divorce and the people who've put up with all sorts of drama. They're the people who encouraged me to share my story and pushed me to be a better person.
There are too many people to thank and too many to name. And anyway you guys know who you are...
Check out the interview at: http://www.widowsphere.blogspot.com.
Until next time, "That's Life."

As I mentioned last week, I'm definitely writing another book. And because I'm not one to waste any time once I make a decision, I can now tell you that I've already started doing the research for it.
I must admit, it has been a little bit challenging so far. My grandparents and a lot of the people who knew my father best have died. His remaining friends and family live all over the world.
So far I have spoken to some of my European relatives, and I've really enjoyed reconnecting with those whom I haven't seen in years. I've also enjoyed speaking with cousins whom I've never met.
Because he never spoke much about his childhood or what happened after World War II, there were a lot of things I didn't know about my father until extended family began sharing stories after he died. Now I want to know even more.
The next challenge will be trying to separate facts from family legend. But that should be fun!
So until next time, "That's life..."

So here I sit. It is 5:20 p.m. on Easter Sunday and I don't have a clue what to write about.
But all is not lost. I'll simply follow the (relatively) new adage that all bloggers swear by: when in doubt, make a list.
This isn't just any old list though. This particular list of some of my favorite quotes about aging is being compiled in honor of my grandfather's 100th birthday, which (knock on wood), he will celebrate in May.
Enjoy!
1. “Most people don't grow up. Most people age. They find parking spaces, honor their credit cards, get married, have children, and call that maturity. What that is, is aging.” ― Maya Angelou
2. “Keeping up the appearance of having all your marbles is hard work, but important.” ― Sara Gruen, Water for Elephants
3. “I want to grow old without facelifts... I want to have the courage to be loyal to the face I've made. Sometimes I think it would be easier to avoid old age, to die young, but then you'd never complete your life, would you? You'd never wholly know you.” ― Marilyn Monroe
4. “When I was younger, I could remember anything, whether it had happened or not; but my faculties are decaying now and soon I shall be so I cannot remember any but the things that never happened. It is sad to go to pieces like this but we all have to do it.” ― Mark Twain
5. “You don't stop laughing when you grow old, you grow old when you stop laughing.”― George Bernard Shaw
6. “It's paradoxical that the idea of living a long life appeals to everyone, but the idea of getting old doesn't appeal to anyone.”― Andy Rooney
7. “As you get older; you've probably noticed that you tend to forget things. You'll be talking with somebody at a party, and you'll know that you know this person, but no matter how hard you try, you can't remember his or her name. This can be very embarrassing, especially if he or she turns out to be your spouse.” ― Dave Barry
8. “Men do not quit playing because they grow old; they grow old because they quit playing.”― Oliver Wendell Holmes Jr.
9.“Embrace aging.” ― Mitch Albom, Tuesdays with Morrie
10. “Maybe it's true that life begins at fifty. But everything else starts to wear out, fall out, or spread out.” ― Phyllis Diller
Until next time, "That's life..."

I've been thinking about my family a lot lately.
I thought about it while I was watching the fantastic film Nebraska the other day. I thought about it while I was old episodes of Deadliest Catch over the weekend, and it was definitely on my mind during a long-distance phone call on Saturday night.
And who could blame me? As I shared in last week's blog my grandfather, our family patriarch, will (God willing) celebrate his 100th birthday in May. I haven't seen him since 2009, but I will definitely be there to help him celebrate this momentous occasion. So will all of his adult children, the rest of his grandchildren and great-grandchildren.
Of course, a full family reunion never happens without a little bit of drama -- and sadly the lead-up to this one is no exception to the rule. Much of it has to do with past issues and some of it has to do with ongoing differences of opinion. Beyond that I won't go into detail, nor will I call anyone out by name. This is neither the time nor the forum for that -- and I don't believe in airing private issues publicly.
That's not to say I won't speak my mind. I will choose my words carefully -- because because once they are written or uttered words can't be taken back -- but I will let everyone know where I stand.
So to those of you causing all of the drama (and you damn well know who you are) I say this:
1. Life is way too short for petty nonsense.
2. This isn't about you, or me, or anyone else for that matter. It is just about Grandpa. It is about celebrating his life, his achievements, his contributions to his community and his love for his family.
Grandpa doesn't have -- and has never had -- a selfish bone in his body. He isn't interested in materialistic things. So have you ever even for a nanosecond stopped to consider that in his waning years, perhaps all he would like is to be able to think that past hurts can be forgiven; that egos can be put aside; that his family can come together happily -- for his sake if for nothing else?
Never mind. That was clearly a rhetorical question. Actions speak louder than words, and judging by your behavior, the answer is a resounding no. The fact that to date, you have been unable or unwilling to put your own issues and agendas aside long enough to participate in group activities to honor Grandpa is, quite frankly, reprehensible. The fact that some of you think that just showing up is a gift in and of itself disgusts me. The fact that some of you are put out because you have to travel a few extra miles and spend a few extra dollars to come to the party blows my mind.
To reiterate in case you didn't get it the first time -- this isn't about you. It isn't about what you want. It isn't about what is easiest or most convenient for you. So stop thinking about yourselves for once. I promise you the world won't stop revolving.
Having said that, I will now issue a challenge. Look at the photo accompanying this blog. The tree in the center represents Grandpa. Around it are different paths. On one hand, they seem to start at the same point -- and then branch off. This could represent division and separation.
But look again. Look closely. Now do you see? From another perspective, the paths seem to begin in different places and come together in front of the tree. To me this represents unity.
Let me know which path you'll take.
Until next time, "That's life..."