Michelle Hauck's Blog, page 133
August 7, 2013
Summer Query Extravaganza 21
You know the drill. Contact me on twitter if you want your query showcased. Comment on the query before and after yours. All query critiques are subjective. And rabbits don't come out of my hat, but I'll do my best. Objects in mirror may be closer than they appear. Buy one and I'll throw in a set of free steak knives, just pay separate shipping and handling fees.
Openings to have your query critiqued are dwindling. I'm shutting this segment down when I return to work as school starts. Get your request in now.
As sent to me:
Dear [Insert Specific, Researched Agent's Name Here],
Constance is used to solving problems with her fists. Too bad for her those tactics don’t work too well up against the incorporeal. In fact, if she never had to see another ghost again, she might stand a chance at being happy for once in her bitter, sarcastic life....And, yet, when one of her oldest and, thanks to her sparkling personality, only friends asks her to join his freelance ghost hunting group, she begrudgingly tags along. The Suppressors are a hapless, hopeless crew of misfits that quickly discover just how much can go wrong the paranormal comes into play. As they square up against spirits of urban legend, it becomes painfully apparent that they’re underfunded, inexperienced, and ill prepared, but, hey, nothing they can’t make up for with a little ingenuity and a lot of instant coffee, right? The scales finally appear to tip in the Suppressors’ favor when Central Avalon, a lofty professional parapsychological institute, requests their audience, but they immediately find themselves tangled in a web of death and deceit, power and experiments…and it’ll take a lot more than a right hook from Constance to get out. Clocking in at 99,000 words, Central Avalon is a work of urban fiction that blends elements of both comedy and horror. Though it can serve as a standalone novel, it is the first in a series where various paranormal worlds collide. Thank you for your time.
With my crazy comments:
Dear [Insert Specific, Researched Agent's Name Here], Colon after the greeting for a business letter. Also there are no indents or tabs before paragraphs in a business letter either, if you want to get technical.
Constance is used to solving problems with her fists. Too bad for her those tactics don’t work too well up against the incorporeal. In fact, if she never had to see another ghost again, she might stand a chance at being happy for once in her bitter, sarcastic life....I'd try to show her abrasive qualities. And, yet, when one of her oldest and, thanks to her sparkling personality, only friends asks her to join his freelance ghost hunting group, she begrudgingly tags along. I'm a little confused over which comes first: She interacts with ghosts, or she's asked to be part of this group. If the group comes first, then I'd led with that.
Constance is used to solving her problems with her fists and when that doesn't work her sarcastic tongue is more than ready to castrate anyone who gets too close. And, yet, when one of her oldest and, thanks to her sparkling personality, only friends asks her to join his freelance ghost hunting group, she begrudgingly tags along. Too bad her fists don't stack up against the incorporeal. The Suppressors are a hapless, hopeless crew of misfits that quickly discover just how much can go wrong the paranormal comes into play. As they square up against spirits of urban legend, it becomes painfully apparent that they’re these misfits are underfunded, inexperienced, and ill prepared, but, hey, nothing they can’t make up for with a little ingenuity and a lot of instant coffee, right? Good voice here, but it's not too original. Consider using an example to show how things can go wrong for the first sentence. Also consider giving examples of the urban legends if people would have heard of them before. And try to work Constance back in here somewhere.
Constance and the Suppressors get their butts handed to them when a ghostly Elvis starts swinging his guitar into their heads. Who knew ghosts could feel so solid? As the Suppressors square up against XYZ, it becomes painfully apparent that these misfits are underfunded, inexperienced, and ill prepared, but, hey, ... The scales finally appear to tip in the Suppressors’ favor when Central Avalon, a lofty professional parapsychological institute, requests their audience(I'm not sure what 'requests their audience' means. Does this mean they want to buy the business or train them or fund them?) , but they immediately find themselves tangled in a web of death and deceit, power and experiments (generic Not sure what this means either.)…and it’ll take a lot more than a right hook from Constance to get out. Quite a long final sentence. Break it up and be more specific about the stakes. And it seems the bad guys are not the ghosts but other humans. I think you need to clarify the Suppressors motivation with a sentence. Is their goal to make money (sell their business) or to conquer/control ghosts. Clocking in at 99,000 words, Central Avalon is a work of urban fiction that blends elements of both comedy and horror. (Urban fiction is not a genre. Decide if it is urban fantasy or horror with elements of humor.) Though it can serve as a standalone novel, it is the first in a series where various paranormal worlds collide. Thank you for your time.
This query is missing a few things for me. It is missing what Constance and her friends want. It's missing more exact terms of what will happen if they fail. And much of the query is missing Constance in favor of a group picture. Try and keep it focused on Constance. It would also be great if you could show another example of how Constance's tongue causes trouble farther down in the query.
Openings to have your query critiqued are dwindling. I'm shutting this segment down when I return to work as school starts. Get your request in now.
As sent to me:
Dear [Insert Specific, Researched Agent's Name Here],
Constance is used to solving problems with her fists. Too bad for her those tactics don’t work too well up against the incorporeal. In fact, if she never had to see another ghost again, she might stand a chance at being happy for once in her bitter, sarcastic life....And, yet, when one of her oldest and, thanks to her sparkling personality, only friends asks her to join his freelance ghost hunting group, she begrudgingly tags along. The Suppressors are a hapless, hopeless crew of misfits that quickly discover just how much can go wrong the paranormal comes into play. As they square up against spirits of urban legend, it becomes painfully apparent that they’re underfunded, inexperienced, and ill prepared, but, hey, nothing they can’t make up for with a little ingenuity and a lot of instant coffee, right? The scales finally appear to tip in the Suppressors’ favor when Central Avalon, a lofty professional parapsychological institute, requests their audience, but they immediately find themselves tangled in a web of death and deceit, power and experiments…and it’ll take a lot more than a right hook from Constance to get out. Clocking in at 99,000 words, Central Avalon is a work of urban fiction that blends elements of both comedy and horror. Though it can serve as a standalone novel, it is the first in a series where various paranormal worlds collide. Thank you for your time.
With my crazy comments:
Dear [Insert Specific, Researched Agent's Name Here], Colon after the greeting for a business letter. Also there are no indents or tabs before paragraphs in a business letter either, if you want to get technical.
Constance is used to solving problems with her fists. Too bad for her those tactics don’t work too well up against the incorporeal. In fact, if she never had to see another ghost again, she might stand a chance at being happy for once in her bitter, sarcastic life....I'd try to show her abrasive qualities. And, yet, when one of her oldest and, thanks to her sparkling personality, only friends asks her to join his freelance ghost hunting group, she begrudgingly tags along. I'm a little confused over which comes first: She interacts with ghosts, or she's asked to be part of this group. If the group comes first, then I'd led with that.
Constance is used to solving her problems with her fists and when that doesn't work her sarcastic tongue is more than ready to castrate anyone who gets too close. And, yet, when one of her oldest and, thanks to her sparkling personality, only friends asks her to join his freelance ghost hunting group, she begrudgingly tags along. Too bad her fists don't stack up against the incorporeal. The Suppressors are a hapless, hopeless crew of misfits that quickly discover just how much can go wrong the paranormal comes into play. As they square up against spirits of urban legend, it becomes painfully apparent that they’re these misfits are underfunded, inexperienced, and ill prepared, but, hey, nothing they can’t make up for with a little ingenuity and a lot of instant coffee, right? Good voice here, but it's not too original. Consider using an example to show how things can go wrong for the first sentence. Also consider giving examples of the urban legends if people would have heard of them before. And try to work Constance back in here somewhere.
Constance and the Suppressors get their butts handed to them when a ghostly Elvis starts swinging his guitar into their heads. Who knew ghosts could feel so solid? As the Suppressors square up against XYZ, it becomes painfully apparent that these misfits are underfunded, inexperienced, and ill prepared, but, hey, ... The scales finally appear to tip in the Suppressors’ favor when Central Avalon, a lofty professional parapsychological institute, requests their audience(I'm not sure what 'requests their audience' means. Does this mean they want to buy the business or train them or fund them?) , but they immediately find themselves tangled in a web of death and deceit, power and experiments (generic Not sure what this means either.)…and it’ll take a lot more than a right hook from Constance to get out. Quite a long final sentence. Break it up and be more specific about the stakes. And it seems the bad guys are not the ghosts but other humans. I think you need to clarify the Suppressors motivation with a sentence. Is their goal to make money (sell their business) or to conquer/control ghosts. Clocking in at 99,000 words, Central Avalon is a work of urban fiction that blends elements of both comedy and horror. (Urban fiction is not a genre. Decide if it is urban fantasy or horror with elements of humor.) Though it can serve as a standalone novel, it is the first in a series where various paranormal worlds collide. Thank you for your time.
This query is missing a few things for me. It is missing what Constance and her friends want. It's missing more exact terms of what will happen if they fail. And much of the query is missing Constance in favor of a group picture. Try and keep it focused on Constance. It would also be great if you could show another example of how Constance's tongue causes trouble farther down in the query.
August 6, 2013
Query Questions with Victoria Lowes
If you're here for the Agent Greeting contest, please see the post below this one or go here.
Writers have copious amounts of imagination. It's what makes their stories so fantastic. But there's a darker side to so much out of the box thinking. When a writer is in the query trenches, their worries go into overdrive. They start pulling out their hair and imagine every possible disaster.
Here to relieve some of that endless worrying is a new series of posts called Query Questions. I'll ask the questions which prey on every writer's mind, and hopefully take some of the pain out of querying. These are questions that I've seen tossed around on twitter and writing sites like Agent Query Connect. They are the type of questions that you need answers for the real expert--agents!
If you have your own specific query question, please leave it in the comments and it might show up in future editions of Query Questions as I plan to rotate the questions.
Please welcome newest agent of The Bent Agency, Victoria Lowes as she shares her answers to common query questions.
Is there a particular time of year that is better to query?
No, not really. Obviously around times like the holidays, people wind down, but that’s the same for any industry.
Does one typo or misplaced comma shoot down the entire query?
If it’s just one or two, then no. If there are multiple grammatical errors, then that’s a red flag.
Do you look at sample pages without fail or only if the query is strong?
I almost always read the sample pages. The only reason I’d skip them is if it’s a genre that I’m not considering, like middle-grade.
Do you prefer a little personalized chit-chat in a query letter, or would you rather hear about the manuscript?
I like a little chit-chat that shows the author did their homework rather than querying 60 agents at once. One or two sentences are sufficient though- just enough to show you’ve done your homework but not too much so as to distract from your work.
Does it matter whether the word count/genre information is first or last in a query?
Not really.
Is there a bias against querying authors who have self-published other books?
Not at all.
How many queries do you receive in a week? How many requests might you make out of those?
My query inbox (& status as an agent) is quite new so I’ve only been receiving about 60 a week and since I’m trying to build my list, I’ve been requesting quite a lot!
Have you form rejected great projects you think could be accepted elsewhere or do you try to give some feedback?
Since I’m not inundated with queries just yet, I try to give a little feedback with each query I pass on.
What does ‘just didn’t connect enough’ mean to you?
I usually use this in reference to the characters. This usually means that I didn’t feel they were developed enough and I didn’t find myself caring the way I would’ve liked to about them.
What themes are you sick of seeing?
Personally, I’m sort of over the whole woman-has-a-great-aunt-she-never-knew-about-and-has-inherited-a-cottage-in-a-small-town-and-rediscovers-herself-with-the-help-of-a-rustic-man plot line. I just feel like it’s been overdone.
What three things are at the top of your submission wish list?
An historical fiction set in early 20th century that has romantic elements, a contemporary roma
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
[image error]
Victoria is currently representing only digital-first titles at the Bent Agency.
I was born and raised in Queens, New York and graduated from the City University of New York, Queens College. Before joining the Bent Agency, I completed internships at Serendipity Literary and the Carol Mann Agency. In my spare time I can be found teaching dance classes for young students or watching re-runs of The Office.
I love books that teach me something, whether it be about a culture I don’t know, event in history or about the dynamics of a tumultuous young romance. I want to root for your characters -- connect with them and the problems they face. I'm looking for characters as complex and interesting as those I meet in real life.
Writers have copious amounts of imagination. It's what makes their stories so fantastic. But there's a darker side to so much out of the box thinking. When a writer is in the query trenches, their worries go into overdrive. They start pulling out their hair and imagine every possible disaster.
Here to relieve some of that endless worrying is a new series of posts called Query Questions. I'll ask the questions which prey on every writer's mind, and hopefully take some of the pain out of querying. These are questions that I've seen tossed around on twitter and writing sites like Agent Query Connect. They are the type of questions that you need answers for the real expert--agents!
If you have your own specific query question, please leave it in the comments and it might show up in future editions of Query Questions as I plan to rotate the questions.
Please welcome newest agent of The Bent Agency, Victoria Lowes as she shares her answers to common query questions.
Is there a particular time of year that is better to query?
No, not really. Obviously around times like the holidays, people wind down, but that’s the same for any industry.
Does one typo or misplaced comma shoot down the entire query?
If it’s just one or two, then no. If there are multiple grammatical errors, then that’s a red flag.
Do you look at sample pages without fail or only if the query is strong?
I almost always read the sample pages. The only reason I’d skip them is if it’s a genre that I’m not considering, like middle-grade.
Do you prefer a little personalized chit-chat in a query letter, or would you rather hear about the manuscript?
I like a little chit-chat that shows the author did their homework rather than querying 60 agents at once. One or two sentences are sufficient though- just enough to show you’ve done your homework but not too much so as to distract from your work.
Does it matter whether the word count/genre information is first or last in a query?
Not really.
Is there a bias against querying authors who have self-published other books?
Not at all.
How many queries do you receive in a week? How many requests might you make out of those?
My query inbox (& status as an agent) is quite new so I’ve only been receiving about 60 a week and since I’m trying to build my list, I’ve been requesting quite a lot!
Have you form rejected great projects you think could be accepted elsewhere or do you try to give some feedback?
Since I’m not inundated with queries just yet, I try to give a little feedback with each query I pass on.
What does ‘just didn’t connect enough’ mean to you?
I usually use this in reference to the characters. This usually means that I didn’t feel they were developed enough and I didn’t find myself caring the way I would’ve liked to about them.
What themes are you sick of seeing?
Personally, I’m sort of over the whole woman-has-a-great-aunt-she-never-knew-about-and-has-inherited-a-cottage-in-a-small-town-and-rediscovers-herself-with-the-help-of-a-rustic-man plot line. I just feel like it’s been overdone.
What three things are at the top of your submission wish list?
An historical fiction set in early 20th century that has romantic elements, a contemporary roma
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
[image error]
Victoria is currently representing only digital-first titles at the Bent Agency.
I was born and raised in Queens, New York and graduated from the City University of New York, Queens College. Before joining the Bent Agency, I completed internships at Serendipity Literary and the Carol Mann Agency. In my spare time I can be found teaching dance classes for young students or watching re-runs of The Office.
I love books that teach me something, whether it be about a culture I don’t know, event in history or about the dynamics of a tumultuous young romance. I want to root for your characters -- connect with them and the problems they face. I'm looking for characters as complex and interesting as those I meet in real life.
August 5, 2013
The Agent Greeting Contest is Open!
Dear Manly face Agent:
My teeny-tiny contest is now open! Jump right in and leave your best dear agent greeting.
One entry per customer, but no limit to the creativity. Feel free to tie your greeting in with your novel. Please try not to duplicate other entries.
Keep it clean. Obscene comments will be deleted. (More contest details here.)
Technically your manuscript does not need to be finished or polished, but it might be a good idea.
Dear Scooter Pie Agent:
In return, please be a follower of this blog. If you feel like shouting about your greeting, which I'd appreciate, use the hashtag #agentgreeting. Querying can be a depressing business. I want this to be fun and twitter makes everything fun.
If you want to comment on another person's greeting, please do it on twitter so as not to mess up the random number generator.
Dear Make-me-Famous Agent:
The contest will stay open until 5:00 pm EST on August 7th. Then I will randomly draw the five winners and randomly match them up with their agent. (See agent list here.) Winner will need to get in touch with me about contacting their agents.
A runner-up winner will also be drawn and will receive a copy of either Summer's Double Edge, featuring my short story Frost and Fog, or my epic fantasy, Kindar's Cure. Runner-up winner must live in the United States or Canada and provide an address.
Dear Alien-abducted agent:
I will post the winners on August 8th.
That's all there is to it. Be as creative as you can and have fun!
My teeny-tiny contest is now open! Jump right in and leave your best dear agent greeting.
One entry per customer, but no limit to the creativity. Feel free to tie your greeting in with your novel. Please try not to duplicate other entries.
Keep it clean. Obscene comments will be deleted. (More contest details here.)
Technically your manuscript does not need to be finished or polished, but it might be a good idea.
Dear Scooter Pie Agent:
In return, please be a follower of this blog. If you feel like shouting about your greeting, which I'd appreciate, use the hashtag #agentgreeting. Querying can be a depressing business. I want this to be fun and twitter makes everything fun.
If you want to comment on another person's greeting, please do it on twitter so as not to mess up the random number generator.
Dear Make-me-Famous Agent:
The contest will stay open until 5:00 pm EST on August 7th. Then I will randomly draw the five winners and randomly match them up with their agent. (See agent list here.) Winner will need to get in touch with me about contacting their agents.
A runner-up winner will also be drawn and will receive a copy of either Summer's Double Edge, featuring my short story Frost and Fog, or my epic fantasy, Kindar's Cure. Runner-up winner must live in the United States or Canada and provide an address.
Dear Alien-abducted agent:
I will post the winners on August 8th.
That's all there is to it. Be as creative as you can and have fun!
August 3, 2013
Nerves and the Agent Greeting Contest
Another sweet friend sent a picture of her copy of Kindar. It's getting a little easier to believe it's real now, and the pretty background suits the cover! I'd love to post more pictures if anyone else would like to share.
Now to business. I need to get some work done on Monday morning. (It's kinda hard to concentrate on writing when email notification of comments keep rolling in.) So the post for the Agent Greeting Contest will go live about noon on August 5th.
There's no need to rush. The contest will stay open until 5:00 pm EST on August 7th. Then I will randomly draw the winners.
As a reminder, there will be five winners of agent query critiques on the line. All the information about the contest is here and the agents are listed here. You do need to be a follower of this blog. And that is all.
If there are any questions, leave a comment and I'll get right back to you.
August 2, 2013
Summer Query Extravaganza 20
You know the drill. Contact me on twitter if you want your query showcased. Comment on the query before and after yours. All query critiques are subjective. And rabbits don't come out of my hat, but I'll do my best. Objects in mirror may be closer than they appear. Buy one and I'll throw in a set of free steak knives, just pay separate shipping and handling fees.
Openings to have your query critiqued are dwindling. I'm shutting this segment down when I return to work as school starts. Get your request in now.
As sent to me:
One minute Jimmy Rickliefs’ was a drummer in a huge rock band, the next he was knockin’ on death’s door. He figured he’d go out with a bang; that bang just turned into a whimper.
Jimmy always thought he’d die like a rock star: an overdose, or alcoholism would get him. But a car accident wasn’t in the cards. And thanks to the town drunk, the blue-haired, outgoing drummer might never walk again. On top of that, he’s battling seizures which would make being a drummer impossible.
Faced with the possible end of his career, Jimmy has to make a tough decision: give up on the band, knowing that his family could face financial ruin, or work his ass off to walk again and return to the only job he’s ever known. The stage that he loves has become the most dangerous place he could be. But he’s determined to provide for his growing family, and being a rock star is the only way he knows to do it.
DRIVEN is commercial fiction complete at 85,000 words with series potential. Thank you for your time and consideration. My first 30 pages are attached per website guidelines.
With crazy comments added:
One minute Jimmy Rickliefs’ was a drummer in a huge rock band, the next he was knockin’ on death’s door. I'd change the adjective 'huge' to something more descriptive. Superstar? I'd also try to work in a verb with more punch. Jimmy Ricklief dive bombs from superstar drummer in the world's most notorious rock band to knockin' on death's door. He figured he’d go out with a bang; that bang just turned into a whimper. He planned on going out with a bang in twenty years, instead he got a whimper.
Jimmy always thought he’d die like a rock star: an overdose, or alcoholism would get him. This sentence has filtering. A rockstar is supposed to die from overdoses or alcoholism. But a A car accident wasn’t in the cards. And tThanks to the town drunk, the blue-haired, outgoing drummer has no need to die his hair blue or mingle with fans. (Shows.) when might never walk again. On top of thatlosing the ability to walk, he’s battling deadly seizures which also robs his coordination, making drumming would make being a drummer impossible.
Faced with the possible (This weakens. Makes it wishy-washy.) end of his career, Jimmy has to make a tough decision: give up on the band, knowing that his family could face financial ruin, or work his ass off to walk again and return to the only job he’s ever known. This sentence has more wishy-washy. Keep it direct and powerful. Plus it seems like a sinker sentence instead of a setup sentence. I'd cut it altogether and move pieces of it to the sinker sentence. The stage that he Jimmy loves has become a lethal zone/death trap. Strobe and other lighting are a catalyst to his seizures. (I'm cheating here because I've seen this query before.) the most dangerous place he could be. But he’s determined to provide for his growing family, and being a rock star is the only way he knows to do it. The sinker sentence you've given us robs him of the choice. This sounds like he has one alternative. But to provide for his growing family, he'll have to find a way to become a rock star again or hope his life insurance is enough.
DRIVEN is commercial fiction complete at 85,000 words with series potential. Thank you for your time and consideration. My first 30 pages are attached per website guidelines. I'd put the thank you after the genre and word count info and in its own paragraph. But that's a matter of taste.
I don't think there is much wrong with this query. A little change here and there to add more powerful verbs, cut the filtering, along with cutting the words that weaken would make it feel more direct and more decided.
Openings to have your query critiqued are dwindling. I'm shutting this segment down when I return to work as school starts. Get your request in now.
As sent to me:
One minute Jimmy Rickliefs’ was a drummer in a huge rock band, the next he was knockin’ on death’s door. He figured he’d go out with a bang; that bang just turned into a whimper.
Jimmy always thought he’d die like a rock star: an overdose, or alcoholism would get him. But a car accident wasn’t in the cards. And thanks to the town drunk, the blue-haired, outgoing drummer might never walk again. On top of that, he’s battling seizures which would make being a drummer impossible.
Faced with the possible end of his career, Jimmy has to make a tough decision: give up on the band, knowing that his family could face financial ruin, or work his ass off to walk again and return to the only job he’s ever known. The stage that he loves has become the most dangerous place he could be. But he’s determined to provide for his growing family, and being a rock star is the only way he knows to do it.
DRIVEN is commercial fiction complete at 85,000 words with series potential. Thank you for your time and consideration. My first 30 pages are attached per website guidelines.
With crazy comments added:
One minute Jimmy Rickliefs’ was a drummer in a huge rock band, the next he was knockin’ on death’s door. I'd change the adjective 'huge' to something more descriptive. Superstar? I'd also try to work in a verb with more punch. Jimmy Ricklief dive bombs from superstar drummer in the world's most notorious rock band to knockin' on death's door. He figured he’d go out with a bang; that bang just turned into a whimper. He planned on going out with a bang in twenty years, instead he got a whimper.
Jimmy always thought he’d die like a rock star: an overdose, or alcoholism would get him. This sentence has filtering. A rockstar is supposed to die from overdoses or alcoholism. But a A car accident wasn’t in the cards. And tThanks to the town drunk, the blue-haired, outgoing drummer has no need to die his hair blue or mingle with fans. (Shows.) when might never walk again. On top of thatlosing the ability to walk, he’s battling deadly seizures which also robs his coordination, making drumming would make being a drummer impossible.
Faced with the possible (This weakens. Makes it wishy-washy.) end of his career, Jimmy has to make a tough decision: give up on the band, knowing that his family could face financial ruin, or work his ass off to walk again and return to the only job he’s ever known. This sentence has more wishy-washy. Keep it direct and powerful. Plus it seems like a sinker sentence instead of a setup sentence. I'd cut it altogether and move pieces of it to the sinker sentence. The stage that he Jimmy loves has become a lethal zone/death trap. Strobe and other lighting are a catalyst to his seizures. (I'm cheating here because I've seen this query before.) the most dangerous place he could be. But he’s determined to provide for his growing family, and being a rock star is the only way he knows to do it. The sinker sentence you've given us robs him of the choice. This sounds like he has one alternative. But to provide for his growing family, he'll have to find a way to become a rock star again or hope his life insurance is enough.
DRIVEN is commercial fiction complete at 85,000 words with series potential. Thank you for your time and consideration. My first 30 pages are attached per website guidelines. I'd put the thank you after the genre and word count info and in its own paragraph. But that's a matter of taste.
I don't think there is much wrong with this query. A little change here and there to add more powerful verbs, cut the filtering, along with cutting the words that weaken would make it feel more direct and more decided.
August 1, 2013
Nervous Nelly
Well, I didn't think I could get any more nervous. Then I saw this. A friend and CP sent me a picture of him holding my paperback. YIKERS! People are going to read it.
I didn't think I could get any more nervous.
A couple people have mentioned that the superstore book seller says Kindar is unavailable or on backorder. Please check out the Book Depository which also features FREE shipping.
I didn't think I could get any more nervous.A couple people have mentioned that the superstore book seller says Kindar is unavailable or on backorder. Please check out the Book Depository which also features FREE shipping.
Query Questions with Bridget Smith
Writers have copious amounts of imagination. It's what makes their stories so fantastic. But there's a darker side to so much out of the box thinking. When a writer is in the query trenches, their worries go into overdrive. They start pulling out their hair and imagine every possible disaster.
Here to relieve some of that endless worrying is a new series of posts called Query Questions. I'll ask the questions which prey on every writer's mind, and hopefully take some of the pain out of querying. These are questions that I've seen tossed around on twitter and writing sites like Agent Query Connect. They are the type of questions that you need answers for the real expert--agents!
If you have your own specific query question, please leave it in the comments and it might show up in future editions of Query Questions as I plan to rotate the questions.
Thank you to Bridget Smith of Dunham Literary Inc. as she shares her answers to common query questions.
Is there a particular time of year that is better to query?
Not Christmas! I come back in January completely bogged down with queries – plus everything else that didn’t get done in December because people were out of the office. I know the slow week between Christmas and New Year’s is when many people finally have the time to hunker down and plan out their querying strategy, but once you’ve done that, it’s good to wait a few weeks to actually hit send. On the other hand, many agents (myself included) have more time to read queries in the summer. But the ultimate answer is: query when you’re ready, and agents will read when they have time.
Does one typo or misplaced comma shoot down the entire query?
One typo? No, not at all! We’re all human, with fingers that don’t always fall on the right keys. What causes a problem is obvious carelessness: a lack of attention to basic grammatical construction, the wrong homophone, an error that spellcheck would have caught because what you’ve typed is not a word.
Do you look at sample pages without fail or only if the query is strong?
I look at sample pages if the query is good enough. A really excellent sample can overcome an indifferent query, but the better the pitch, the less selling the sample pages will have to do. If the query gives the impression that the manuscript is definitely not for me (not a genre I rep, absurd wordcount, writing tics that I know from experience don’t work for me), I’m more likely to skip the sample pages.
Do crazy fonts caused by email gremlins make for an automatic rejection?
Our email program regularly deletes random spaces from within the email, so I pay attention to what is caused by email gremlins and what is within the author’s control. Erratic formatting? Probably just a weird rendering of copy/paste text, and thus, not relevant. Multicolored text? Probably not email gremlins.
Do you prefer a little personalized chit-chat in a query letter, or would you rather hear about the manuscript?
If you have something personalized to say, I do enjoy seeing it! Particularly if it’s something relevant to your book: something I mentioned in an interview, a tweet that made you want to query me. But you don’t have to force it, if there’s nothing. I’d rather see what you have to say about your book than a quote from an interview I did. I know what I’ve said; I want to see what you have to say!
Does it matter whether the word count/genre information is first or last in a query?
I like it last, if only because writers tend to be able to integrate the information more smoothly that way. But ultimately, it doesn’t matter WHERE it is as long as it’s there.
Is there a bias against querying authors who have self-published other books?
Like everything else here, there’s no blanket answer for this. (This whole interview is rather wishy-washy, isn’t it? No easy answers, folks, sorry!) If an author has self-published thoughtfully and can show me decent numbers, then it doesn’t count against them with me. It shows they’re invested in the process and know what they’re getting into. On the other hand, I frequently get queries from people who self-published carelessly, and that can hurt you. The worst is when I get queries from people who self-published through a scammy press like PublishAmerica saying they wish they hadn’t and they’d never do it again. Breaks my heart.
But on the third hand: don’t self-publish a book and then query with it. There’s a misconception out there that self-publishing is a good way to get an agent, and it is most emphatically NOT. Unless you’ve sold tens of thousands of copies.
Do you go through a large group of queries at a time or hold yourself to a few?
Personally, I tend to read a bunch at once. It works best with my schedule. But everyone’s different! Some agents get queries straight to their personal inbox, so it’s easier for them to look at them a few at a time.
How many queries do you receive in a week? How many requests might you make out of those?
I usually request about 10 manuscripts per month. I usually get a few hundred queries direct to me per month; more if I’ve recently done an interview. The agency as a whole receives about a thousand per month.
Have you form rejected great projects you think could be accepted elsewhere or do you try to give some feedback?
I form-reject most queries, even if they sound good for someone else but not right for me. I try to give some feedback (or at least a reason) on all full manuscripts I request.
Many agents say they don’t care if writers are active online. Could an active/known online presence by an author tip the scales in getting a request or offer?
A request? Sure! If the book sounds interesting and the author is well-known, that could tip the scales over to a definite yes. But when it comes to offering, I need to love the book first.
What does ‘just didn’t connect enough’ mean to you?
All manner of things! It’s a catchall phrase, and I urge you not to read anything more into it than what it says: this agent is not enthusiastic enough about this project.
What three things are at the top of your submission wish list?
I’m going to quote myself here, because I did another interview recently enough that it hasn’t changed: a “fantasy of manners” in the vein of Jonathan Strange & Mr. Norrell or Shades of Milk and Honey, a heroine with a big voice from 1940s England à la Code Name Verity or The Guernsey Literary and Potato Peel Pie Society, or something that makes the very earth feel magical, like The Raven Boys or Chime. Plus, as every agent says: something that surprises me!
What are some of your favorite movies or books to give us an idea of your tastes?
Well…let’s go with favorite authors instead! I love Robin McKinley, Neil Gaiman, Diana Wynne Jones, Tamora Pierce, Jane Austen, and Harry Potter (ok, broke the pattern there). Those are my all-time favorites: smart people who write well. There are many other budding favorites whose careers are developing now (or whom I’m just discovering now), so I hope this list will grow and grow, but that’s quite enough to be going on with now.
I also watch a lot of TV, which you’ll notice if you follow me on Twitter. Some current favorites are Parks & Rec, Hannibal, and Battlestar Galactica, which I’m making my way through for the first time. You’ll notice the same theme: smart stories told well, plus fascinating characters you want to follow. In the end, that’s all I really want.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Bridget Smith is an associate agent and all-around assistant at Dunham Literary, Inc. She represents middle grade, YA, and adult novels, with special interest in fantasy & science fiction, historical fiction, and women’s fiction. Her tastes run to literary and character-driven novels. Previously, she was an intern at Don Congdon Associates, worked at a secondhand book store in Connecticut, and evaluated short story submissions for Tor.com under Liz Gorinsky and Patrick Nielsen Hayden. She graduated from Brown University in 2010. While there, she studied anthropology and archaeology, worked as a radio DJ, fenced on the varsity team, and helped design an experiment that she later performed in microgravity at NASA. Currently she reads, runs, and watches more television than is probably good for her.
Here to relieve some of that endless worrying is a new series of posts called Query Questions. I'll ask the questions which prey on every writer's mind, and hopefully take some of the pain out of querying. These are questions that I've seen tossed around on twitter and writing sites like Agent Query Connect. They are the type of questions that you need answers for the real expert--agents!
If you have your own specific query question, please leave it in the comments and it might show up in future editions of Query Questions as I plan to rotate the questions.
Thank you to Bridget Smith of Dunham Literary Inc. as she shares her answers to common query questions.
Is there a particular time of year that is better to query?
Not Christmas! I come back in January completely bogged down with queries – plus everything else that didn’t get done in December because people were out of the office. I know the slow week between Christmas and New Year’s is when many people finally have the time to hunker down and plan out their querying strategy, but once you’ve done that, it’s good to wait a few weeks to actually hit send. On the other hand, many agents (myself included) have more time to read queries in the summer. But the ultimate answer is: query when you’re ready, and agents will read when they have time.
Does one typo or misplaced comma shoot down the entire query?
One typo? No, not at all! We’re all human, with fingers that don’t always fall on the right keys. What causes a problem is obvious carelessness: a lack of attention to basic grammatical construction, the wrong homophone, an error that spellcheck would have caught because what you’ve typed is not a word.
Do you look at sample pages without fail or only if the query is strong?
I look at sample pages if the query is good enough. A really excellent sample can overcome an indifferent query, but the better the pitch, the less selling the sample pages will have to do. If the query gives the impression that the manuscript is definitely not for me (not a genre I rep, absurd wordcount, writing tics that I know from experience don’t work for me), I’m more likely to skip the sample pages.
Do crazy fonts caused by email gremlins make for an automatic rejection?
Our email program regularly deletes random spaces from within the email, so I pay attention to what is caused by email gremlins and what is within the author’s control. Erratic formatting? Probably just a weird rendering of copy/paste text, and thus, not relevant. Multicolored text? Probably not email gremlins.
Do you prefer a little personalized chit-chat in a query letter, or would you rather hear about the manuscript?
If you have something personalized to say, I do enjoy seeing it! Particularly if it’s something relevant to your book: something I mentioned in an interview, a tweet that made you want to query me. But you don’t have to force it, if there’s nothing. I’d rather see what you have to say about your book than a quote from an interview I did. I know what I’ve said; I want to see what you have to say!
Does it matter whether the word count/genre information is first or last in a query?
I like it last, if only because writers tend to be able to integrate the information more smoothly that way. But ultimately, it doesn’t matter WHERE it is as long as it’s there.
Is there a bias against querying authors who have self-published other books?
Like everything else here, there’s no blanket answer for this. (This whole interview is rather wishy-washy, isn’t it? No easy answers, folks, sorry!) If an author has self-published thoughtfully and can show me decent numbers, then it doesn’t count against them with me. It shows they’re invested in the process and know what they’re getting into. On the other hand, I frequently get queries from people who self-published carelessly, and that can hurt you. The worst is when I get queries from people who self-published through a scammy press like PublishAmerica saying they wish they hadn’t and they’d never do it again. Breaks my heart.
But on the third hand: don’t self-publish a book and then query with it. There’s a misconception out there that self-publishing is a good way to get an agent, and it is most emphatically NOT. Unless you’ve sold tens of thousands of copies.
Do you go through a large group of queries at a time or hold yourself to a few?
Personally, I tend to read a bunch at once. It works best with my schedule. But everyone’s different! Some agents get queries straight to their personal inbox, so it’s easier for them to look at them a few at a time.
How many queries do you receive in a week? How many requests might you make out of those?
I usually request about 10 manuscripts per month. I usually get a few hundred queries direct to me per month; more if I’ve recently done an interview. The agency as a whole receives about a thousand per month.
Have you form rejected great projects you think could be accepted elsewhere or do you try to give some feedback?
I form-reject most queries, even if they sound good for someone else but not right for me. I try to give some feedback (or at least a reason) on all full manuscripts I request.
Many agents say they don’t care if writers are active online. Could an active/known online presence by an author tip the scales in getting a request or offer?
A request? Sure! If the book sounds interesting and the author is well-known, that could tip the scales over to a definite yes. But when it comes to offering, I need to love the book first.
What does ‘just didn’t connect enough’ mean to you?
All manner of things! It’s a catchall phrase, and I urge you not to read anything more into it than what it says: this agent is not enthusiastic enough about this project.
What three things are at the top of your submission wish list?
I’m going to quote myself here, because I did another interview recently enough that it hasn’t changed: a “fantasy of manners” in the vein of Jonathan Strange & Mr. Norrell or Shades of Milk and Honey, a heroine with a big voice from 1940s England à la Code Name Verity or The Guernsey Literary and Potato Peel Pie Society, or something that makes the very earth feel magical, like The Raven Boys or Chime. Plus, as every agent says: something that surprises me!
What are some of your favorite movies or books to give us an idea of your tastes?
Well…let’s go with favorite authors instead! I love Robin McKinley, Neil Gaiman, Diana Wynne Jones, Tamora Pierce, Jane Austen, and Harry Potter (ok, broke the pattern there). Those are my all-time favorites: smart people who write well. There are many other budding favorites whose careers are developing now (or whom I’m just discovering now), so I hope this list will grow and grow, but that’s quite enough to be going on with now.
I also watch a lot of TV, which you’ll notice if you follow me on Twitter. Some current favorites are Parks & Rec, Hannibal, and Battlestar Galactica, which I’m making my way through for the first time. You’ll notice the same theme: smart stories told well, plus fascinating characters you want to follow. In the end, that’s all I really want.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Bridget Smith is an associate agent and all-around assistant at Dunham Literary, Inc. She represents middle grade, YA, and adult novels, with special interest in fantasy & science fiction, historical fiction, and women’s fiction. Her tastes run to literary and character-driven novels. Previously, she was an intern at Don Congdon Associates, worked at a secondhand book store in Connecticut, and evaluated short story submissions for Tor.com under Liz Gorinsky and Patrick Nielsen Hayden. She graduated from Brown University in 2010. While there, she studied anthropology and archaeology, worked as a radio DJ, fenced on the varsity team, and helped design an experiment that she later performed in microgravity at NASA. Currently she reads, runs, and watches more television than is probably good for her.
July 31, 2013
Summer Query Extravaganza 19
You know the drill. Contact me on twitter if you want your query showcased. Comment on the query before and after yours. All query critiques are subjective. And rabbits don't come out of my hat, but I'll do my best. Objects in mirror may be closer than they appear. Buy one and I'll throw in a set of free steak knives, just pay separate shipping and handling fees.
As sent to me:
Dear superstar agent,
Complete at 96,000 words, FIGHT CAMP is a (light) science fiction/dystopian novel for young adults that may appeal to readers of Veronica Roth’s Divergent series and Marie Lu’s Legend series.
Sixteen-year-old peaceful and inquisitive Aran Fenn knows nothing of the world outside the placid walls of her Domain until she goes away to summer camp. She wakes from an ease-filled life into a violent reality of aggressive campers and Ultimate Fight training. As Aran strains to trust her bunkmate, who knocks her out on the first night of camp, and the boy who helps heal her wounds in secret, she finds going home to her family isn’t an option.
Aran learns that the Regime, an obscure militant research group, created the Domains to study whether lives dominated by poverty or privilege creates the strongest army for an impending war. She discovers her green eyes link her to the fiery legend of the Phoenix Born, whom the people of the Domains hope will unite them and bring renewal. This very connection also provides the Regime with a valuable component in creating an undefeatable army.
Angry that she is nothing more than a pawn in the Regime’s game of life and death, Aran escapes camp. The Regime hunts Aran in a high stakes game of survival of the fittest. She doesn’t want to abandon the people who look to her for freedom, but she longs for home- though she’s not sure what that means anymore. It’s in her blood to resist and rise, but her family claims her heart, prompting her to have to choose whether to fight or flee.
Small bio and closing...
With my crazy comments:
Dear superstar agent, Smiles.
Complete at 96,000 words, FIGHT CAMP is a (light) science fiction/dystopian novel for young adults that may appeal to readers of Veronica Roth’s Divergent series and Marie Lu’s Legend series. Hello, fellow dystopian writer! Pleased to meet you. 96K might be on the high side for YA.
Sixteen-year-old peaceful and inquisitive Aran Fenn knows nothing of the world outside the placid walls of her Domain until she goes away to summer camp. I'm on the fence about the two MC adjectives. I think MC adjectives work better outside the first sentence. Makes it look like you can't show. Also summer camp doesn't sound so bad. She wakes from an ease-filled life into a violent reality of aggressive campers and Ultimate Fight training. Is this camp mandatory? Because if it's volunteer, than she asked for it and my sympathy goes down. I think whether she is forced or goes willingly is an important factor. As Aran strains to trust her bunkmate, who knocks her out on the first night of camp, and the boy who helps heal her wounds in secret, she finds going home to her family isn’t an option. This is leaving me with a lot of questions and the inevitable comparison to that famous dystopian. Why is she there? Why do they need to train in this manner? What's behind all this? Why don't they train as teams instead of as opponents?
This is giving me Aran's motivation is to left alone. I'm not sure that is the strongest motivation to make us care for her. I need a reason to like her. A reason to care what happens to her. A person who wants to be left alone usually doesn't inspire that.
Aran learns that the Regime, an obscure militant research group, created the Domains to study whether lives dominated by poverty or privilege creates the strongest army for an impending war. I'm guessing she was on the privilege side. But who is the Regime fighting? The stakes are missing. She discovers her green eyes link her to the fiery legend of the Phoenix Born, whom the people of the Domains hope will unite them and bring renewal. Without being shown the suffering of the Domains, this doesn't affect me as much as it should. Their suffering could be her motivation. Also since green eyes are hard to hide, wouldn't this be obvious since she was born. This very connection also provides the Regime with a valuable component in creating an undefeatable army. Kind of vague. I'm not really sure what this mean and why I should care since I have no idea of their opponent.
Angry that she is nothing more than a pawn in the Regime’s game of life and death, Aran escapes camp. And she didn't know about the goal of the camp from the start? Sorry but she sounds selfish. She runs away? Let other people fight, but leave me alone. The Regime hunts Aran in a high stakes game of survival of the fittest. She doesn’t want to abandon the people who look to her for freedom, but she longs for home- though she’s not sure what that means anymore. It’s in her blood to resist and rise, but her family claims her heart, prompting her to have to choose whether to fight or flee. I'm not sure which fight this refers to. Fight for or against the Regime? And where can she flee? No other place was mentioned. You are giving the reader her choice but not what will happen in either case. She has to flight or flee or blankety blank.
Small bio and closing...
There's nothing wrong with the writing of this query; it just doesn't bring me close to the character. You've got the set-up but not the heart. Aran needs a stronger motivation. It needs to be shown that the situation matters to her so that it can matter to us. Right now the query makes her seem self centered and uncaring, though I'm sure that's not the case.
This is really rough, but it might give you ideas:
23-year-old Aran has helplessly watched the Regime do this to her people for years. Or 23-year-old Aran learns half the population has faced this. Then, despite her inexperience, the Regime sends her to training camp and expects her to fight (with more detail). They need an army to face blank.
Only Aran feels this. Her green eyes link her to the fiery legend of Phoenix Born and the Regime has no intention of letting her go. She's the perfect leader to defeat an undefeatable army.
Only she won't be used as their rally point, until they bring blank into it. Now she has to fight for the Regime or blank will happen.
As sent to me:
Dear superstar agent,
Complete at 96,000 words, FIGHT CAMP is a (light) science fiction/dystopian novel for young adults that may appeal to readers of Veronica Roth’s Divergent series and Marie Lu’s Legend series.
Sixteen-year-old peaceful and inquisitive Aran Fenn knows nothing of the world outside the placid walls of her Domain until she goes away to summer camp. She wakes from an ease-filled life into a violent reality of aggressive campers and Ultimate Fight training. As Aran strains to trust her bunkmate, who knocks her out on the first night of camp, and the boy who helps heal her wounds in secret, she finds going home to her family isn’t an option.
Aran learns that the Regime, an obscure militant research group, created the Domains to study whether lives dominated by poverty or privilege creates the strongest army for an impending war. She discovers her green eyes link her to the fiery legend of the Phoenix Born, whom the people of the Domains hope will unite them and bring renewal. This very connection also provides the Regime with a valuable component in creating an undefeatable army.
Angry that she is nothing more than a pawn in the Regime’s game of life and death, Aran escapes camp. The Regime hunts Aran in a high stakes game of survival of the fittest. She doesn’t want to abandon the people who look to her for freedom, but she longs for home- though she’s not sure what that means anymore. It’s in her blood to resist and rise, but her family claims her heart, prompting her to have to choose whether to fight or flee.
Small bio and closing...
With my crazy comments:
Dear superstar agent, Smiles.
Complete at 96,000 words, FIGHT CAMP is a (light) science fiction/dystopian novel for young adults that may appeal to readers of Veronica Roth’s Divergent series and Marie Lu’s Legend series. Hello, fellow dystopian writer! Pleased to meet you. 96K might be on the high side for YA.
Sixteen-year-old peaceful and inquisitive Aran Fenn knows nothing of the world outside the placid walls of her Domain until she goes away to summer camp. I'm on the fence about the two MC adjectives. I think MC adjectives work better outside the first sentence. Makes it look like you can't show. Also summer camp doesn't sound so bad. She wakes from an ease-filled life into a violent reality of aggressive campers and Ultimate Fight training. Is this camp mandatory? Because if it's volunteer, than she asked for it and my sympathy goes down. I think whether she is forced or goes willingly is an important factor. As Aran strains to trust her bunkmate, who knocks her out on the first night of camp, and the boy who helps heal her wounds in secret, she finds going home to her family isn’t an option. This is leaving me with a lot of questions and the inevitable comparison to that famous dystopian. Why is she there? Why do they need to train in this manner? What's behind all this? Why don't they train as teams instead of as opponents?
This is giving me Aran's motivation is to left alone. I'm not sure that is the strongest motivation to make us care for her. I need a reason to like her. A reason to care what happens to her. A person who wants to be left alone usually doesn't inspire that.
Aran learns that the Regime, an obscure militant research group, created the Domains to study whether lives dominated by poverty or privilege creates the strongest army for an impending war. I'm guessing she was on the privilege side. But who is the Regime fighting? The stakes are missing. She discovers her green eyes link her to the fiery legend of the Phoenix Born, whom the people of the Domains hope will unite them and bring renewal. Without being shown the suffering of the Domains, this doesn't affect me as much as it should. Their suffering could be her motivation. Also since green eyes are hard to hide, wouldn't this be obvious since she was born. This very connection also provides the Regime with a valuable component in creating an undefeatable army. Kind of vague. I'm not really sure what this mean and why I should care since I have no idea of their opponent.
Angry that she is nothing more than a pawn in the Regime’s game of life and death, Aran escapes camp. And she didn't know about the goal of the camp from the start? Sorry but she sounds selfish. She runs away? Let other people fight, but leave me alone. The Regime hunts Aran in a high stakes game of survival of the fittest. She doesn’t want to abandon the people who look to her for freedom, but she longs for home- though she’s not sure what that means anymore. It’s in her blood to resist and rise, but her family claims her heart, prompting her to have to choose whether to fight or flee. I'm not sure which fight this refers to. Fight for or against the Regime? And where can she flee? No other place was mentioned. You are giving the reader her choice but not what will happen in either case. She has to flight or flee or blankety blank.
Small bio and closing...
There's nothing wrong with the writing of this query; it just doesn't bring me close to the character. You've got the set-up but not the heart. Aran needs a stronger motivation. It needs to be shown that the situation matters to her so that it can matter to us. Right now the query makes her seem self centered and uncaring, though I'm sure that's not the case.
This is really rough, but it might give you ideas:
23-year-old Aran has helplessly watched the Regime do this to her people for years. Or 23-year-old Aran learns half the population has faced this. Then, despite her inexperience, the Regime sends her to training camp and expects her to fight (with more detail). They need an army to face blank.
Only Aran feels this. Her green eyes link her to the fiery legend of Phoenix Born and the Regime has no intention of letting her go. She's the perfect leader to defeat an undefeatable army.
Only she won't be used as their rally point, until they bring blank into it. Now she has to fight for the Regime or blank will happen.
Announcing the Agent Greeting Contest Prizes
The Agent Greeting contest (details here) will start on August 5th with the opportunity to win a query critique from not one, but five agents. Five random winners will each be randomly assigned to an agent. I will direct the winner how to email their query to their agent.
Now to get to the good stuff: the identities of the agents! Take a good look and see whether your query falls into their areas of expertise. Agent Greeting will be open to all fiction genres and age categories, but the agents might be more helpful with queries that fall in their wish lists.
Agent #1:
Danielle Smith an associate literary agent at Foreword Literary Agents where she represents picture books and middle grade authors and illustrators. Her enthusiasm for children’s literature began as a young child, but grew exponentially when her own two children were born and shortly thereafter she began reviewing books at her top rated children’s book review site There's A Book. For more than five years she’s been involved professionally with books through print and online publications such as Women’s World and Parenting Magazine, as a member of the judging panels for The Cybils awards for fiction picture books, as well as locally by serving on the board of The Central Coast Writer’s Conference. She is most interested in finding new author/illustrator talent, children’s fiction and creative non-fiction from picture books through
Agent #2:
Jordy Albert is a Literary Agent and co-founder of The Booker Albert Literary Agency. She holds a B.A. in English from Pennsylvania State University, and a M.A. from Millersville University of Pennsylvania. She has worked with Marisa Corvisiero during her time at the L. Perkins Agency and the Corvisiero Literary Agency. Jordy also works as a freelance editor/PR Director. She enjoys studying languages (French/Japanese), spends time teaching herself how to knit, is a HUGE fan of Doctor Who, and loves dogs.
She is looking for stories that capture her attention and keep her turning the page. She is looking for a strong voice, and stories that have the ability to surprise her. She loves intelligent characters with a great sense of humor. She would love to see fresh, well-developed plots featuring travel, competitions/tournaments, or time travel. Jordy is specifically looking for:
* Middle Grade: contemporary, fantasy, action/adventure, or historical.
* YA: sci-fi, dystopian/post-apocalyptic, contemporary, historical--Though I am open to looking at other sub-genres, I'm looking for YA that has a very strong romantic element.
* NEW ADULT CONTEMPORARY ROMANCE
* Romance (contemporary and historical).
Agent #3
Sarah Negovetich of Corvisiero Literary is fully aware that no one knows how to pronounce her last name, and she's okay with that.
Her favorite writing is YA, because at seventeen the world is your oyster. Only oysters are slimy and more than a little salty, it's accurate if not exactly motivational.
Sarah's background is in Marketing. FYI, your high school algebra teacher was right when they told you every job uses math. She uses her experience to assist Corvisiero authors with platform building and book promotion.
Sarah is only accepting MG and YA fiction manuscripts. She is open to any genre within those age groups, but prefers speculative fiction. Contemporary is not her favorite, but she will look at it. She is not interested in seeing poetry, novels in verse, short stories/novellas or anything focused on saving the environment (she's all for recycling, but doesn't want to represent it).
Agent #4
Tamar Rydzinski worked at Sanford J. Greenburger Associates prior to joining the Laura Dail Literary Agency. She graduated from Yeshiva University in 2003 with a major in literature and a minor in business.
Tamar is not interested in prescriptive or practical non-fiction, humor, coffee table books or children’s books (meaning anything younger than middle grade). She is interested in everything else that is well-written and has great characters, including graphic novels. A fantastic query letter is essential – “you need to make me want to read your book, and be excited to read it,” she says, “with those first couple of paragraphs.”
Agent #5
Michelle L. Johnson is a literary agent, the founder of Inklings Literary Agency and has a business administration background in addition to a lifetime of working with books (sales, editing, and writing) and authors (marketing, promoting, event planning). She is also a script/story consultant for an independent film under production in Halifax, NS.
Before founding Inklings Literary Agency, she was with Corvisiero Literary Agency. She has spent many years in the editing field for private clients and multiple independent publishing houses.
She has also owned and operated a Writers' Center and Bookstore in Virginia Beach, organizing numerous special events for authors and artists alike.
Michelle is closed to unsolicited query until further notice, but in fiction Michelle looks for Contemporary, Suspense, Thriller, Mystery, Horror, Fantasy, including Paranormal and Supernatural elements within those genres.
She is also interested in romance of every heat level, including very well written erotica.
In Non Fiction, she is interested in Memoir, True Crime.
She is especially fond of plot twists that surprise her and deep, well-rounded characters that make her laugh and cry.
Not looking for: Textbooks, Cookbooks, Short Stories, Picture Books, Poetry, Coffee Table Books, Christian Fiction, Screenplays, Steampunk.
Now to get to the good stuff: the identities of the agents! Take a good look and see whether your query falls into their areas of expertise. Agent Greeting will be open to all fiction genres and age categories, but the agents might be more helpful with queries that fall in their wish lists.
Agent #1:
.jpg)
Danielle Smith an associate literary agent at Foreword Literary Agents where she represents picture books and middle grade authors and illustrators. Her enthusiasm for children’s literature began as a young child, but grew exponentially when her own two children were born and shortly thereafter she began reviewing books at her top rated children’s book review site There's A Book. For more than five years she’s been involved professionally with books through print and online publications such as Women’s World and Parenting Magazine, as a member of the judging panels for The Cybils awards for fiction picture books, as well as locally by serving on the board of The Central Coast Writer’s Conference. She is most interested in finding new author/illustrator talent, children’s fiction and creative non-fiction from picture books through
Agent #2:
.jpg)
Jordy Albert is a Literary Agent and co-founder of The Booker Albert Literary Agency. She holds a B.A. in English from Pennsylvania State University, and a M.A. from Millersville University of Pennsylvania. She has worked with Marisa Corvisiero during her time at the L. Perkins Agency and the Corvisiero Literary Agency. Jordy also works as a freelance editor/PR Director. She enjoys studying languages (French/Japanese), spends time teaching herself how to knit, is a HUGE fan of Doctor Who, and loves dogs. She is looking for stories that capture her attention and keep her turning the page. She is looking for a strong voice, and stories that have the ability to surprise her. She loves intelligent characters with a great sense of humor. She would love to see fresh, well-developed plots featuring travel, competitions/tournaments, or time travel. Jordy is specifically looking for:
* Middle Grade: contemporary, fantasy, action/adventure, or historical.
* YA: sci-fi, dystopian/post-apocalyptic, contemporary, historical--Though I am open to looking at other sub-genres, I'm looking for YA that has a very strong romantic element.
* NEW ADULT CONTEMPORARY ROMANCE
* Romance (contemporary and historical).
Agent #3
Sarah Negovetich of Corvisiero Literary is fully aware that no one knows how to pronounce her last name, and she's okay with that.
Her favorite writing is YA, because at seventeen the world is your oyster. Only oysters are slimy and more than a little salty, it's accurate if not exactly motivational.
Sarah's background is in Marketing. FYI, your high school algebra teacher was right when they told you every job uses math. She uses her experience to assist Corvisiero authors with platform building and book promotion.
Sarah is only accepting MG and YA fiction manuscripts. She is open to any genre within those age groups, but prefers speculative fiction. Contemporary is not her favorite, but she will look at it. She is not interested in seeing poetry, novels in verse, short stories/novellas or anything focused on saving the environment (she's all for recycling, but doesn't want to represent it).
Agent #4
Tamar Rydzinski worked at Sanford J. Greenburger Associates prior to joining the Laura Dail Literary Agency. She graduated from Yeshiva University in 2003 with a major in literature and a minor in business.
Tamar is not interested in prescriptive or practical non-fiction, humor, coffee table books or children’s books (meaning anything younger than middle grade). She is interested in everything else that is well-written and has great characters, including graphic novels. A fantastic query letter is essential – “you need to make me want to read your book, and be excited to read it,” she says, “with those first couple of paragraphs.”
Agent #5
Michelle L. Johnson is a literary agent, the founder of Inklings Literary Agency and has a business administration background in addition to a lifetime of working with books (sales, editing, and writing) and authors (marketing, promoting, event planning). She is also a script/story consultant for an independent film under production in Halifax, NS.
Before founding Inklings Literary Agency, she was with Corvisiero Literary Agency. She has spent many years in the editing field for private clients and multiple independent publishing houses.
She has also owned and operated a Writers' Center and Bookstore in Virginia Beach, organizing numerous special events for authors and artists alike.
Michelle is closed to unsolicited query until further notice, but in fiction Michelle looks for Contemporary, Suspense, Thriller, Mystery, Horror, Fantasy, including Paranormal and Supernatural elements within those genres.
She is also interested in romance of every heat level, including very well written erotica.
In Non Fiction, she is interested in Memoir, True Crime.
She is especially fond of plot twists that surprise her and deep, well-rounded characters that make her laugh and cry.
Not looking for: Textbooks, Cookbooks, Short Stories, Picture Books, Poetry, Coffee Table Books, Christian Fiction, Screenplays, Steampunk.
July 30, 2013
Summer Query Extravaganza 18
I hope you'll excuse a little excited self-gibbering today. My book Kindar's Cure has started showing up on Amazon and other sites. I say started because apparently the loading is done in stages. My cover picture and the pricing arrived before the book blurb. Sort of interesting information for the yet to be published.
You know the drill. Contact me on twitter if you want your query showcased. Comment on the query before and after yours. All query critiques are subjective. And rabbits don't come out of my hat, but I'll do my best. Objects in mirror may be closer than they appear. Buy one and I'll throw in a set of free steak knives, just pay separate shipping and handling fees.
As sent to me:
Dear Wonderful All Knowing Agent: 23 year old Sophia Hudson isn't expecting anything out of the ordinary to happen during her last year of college. Her life is so humdrum that she finds excitement through celebrity gossip. Honestly she’s just hoping to keep her head low, and squeak by without much effort before collecting her photography degree. But her cynical outlook changes when her bushy afro walks into Dr. Matthew Brooks’ anthropology class. Sophia finds herself strangely drawn to the professor/sometimes poet, and is surprised when eventually he hints that he is interested in her too.
Sophia has longed for a relationship; she’s wanted to be loved, to have someone there to fend off the loneliness, and to fill the gap in her heart where her father’s love should have gone. She is quick to pin her hopes and dreams onto Matthew. But she quickly discoverers there is more to him than pretty words, and the ability to command a classroom. The man she has built up in her head essentially doesn't exist. The real Matthew Brooks is a man of dark secrets, which slowly bleed out and choke her. He’s actually a polygamist, with a violent lust for control, who has been pulling all of Sophia’s strings from the start. Is Sophia strong enough to assert herself as a person, while escaping from Matthew without him destroying her life?
Power of the Podium is NA thriller at 54,000 words.
I look forward to hearing from you,
With crazy comments added:
Dear Wonderful All Knowing Agent: Inventive but all-knowing should be hyphenated. 23 year old (You need hyphens here too. 23-year-old) Sophia Hudson isn't expecting anything out of the ordinary to happen during her last year of college. Her life is so humdrum that she finds excitement through celebrity gossip.(Sharpen. 23-year-old Sophia Hudson is experiencing an ordinary final year of college. The only excitement in her life is celebrity gossip.) Honestly she’s just hoping to keep her head low, and squeak by without much effort before collecting her photography degree. (As as start, I've seen this before many times. MC is Jane Average.) But her cynical outlook changes when her bushy afro (I see you're trying to include her ethnicity but this is an awkward way to describe her. Why not proud afro or well-styled afro or defiant afro. Try using an adjective that could also apply to her personality. Then you get a double whammy.) walks into Dr. Matthew Brooks’ anthropology class. Sophia finds herself strangely drawn to the professor/sometimes poet, and is surprised when eventually he hints that he is interested in her too. (So far nothing about a thriller here. Sue me, I peeked at the genre first.)
Sophia has longed for a relationship; she’s wanted to be loved, to have someone there to fend off the loneliness, and to fill the gap in her heart where her father’s love should have gone.(Does this describe half a freshman class, or is that just me? You'd think a senior would outgrow it. This sentence could be distilled down to Looking for love, she is quick...) She is quick to pin her hopes and dreams onto Matthew. But she quickly discoverers there is more to him than pretty words, and the ability to command a classroom. The man she has built up in her head essentially doesn't exist. (Essentially weakens the sentence. You're saying there are exceptions. Meh, he's not so bad. X O on the wimp out.) The real Matthew Brooks is a man of dark secrets, which slowly bleed out and choke her. (Generic details that don't tell me much, except for the 'secrets.') He’s actually a polygamist, with a violent lust for control, who has been pulling all of Sophia’s strings from the start. Is Sophia strong enough to assert herself as a person, while escaping from Matthew without him destroying her life? Now I'm engaged, but you saved it for the last tiny bit.
Power of the Podium is NA thriller at 54,000 words. I don't know about NA, but this word count seems low for YA or adult. I figure NA fits inside there somewhere. Of course, I'm used to speculative fiction word counts. Title should be in all caps or in italics.
Thanks and I look forward to hearing from you, Don't forget the grateful thanks.
To me it seems like this query takes too long to get to the good stuff. You give us some details about her life and her situation but leave the action and plot to the end. Essentially (sorry, I had to do it), your query has a lot of backstory. You have included her motivation, she wants to be loved. But try to get to it sooner.
23-year-old Sophia Hudson has spent her whole college career wishing for love. All she has to show for it is a pile of supermarket magazines describing exciting celebrity romance. Then her stately afro walks into Dr. Matthew Brooks' anthropology class.
She's quick to pin her hopes and dreams on this professor/sometimes poet. Secrets. Bad stuff. She must ... or ...
I hope this helps.
You know the drill. Contact me on twitter if you want your query showcased. Comment on the query before and after yours. All query critiques are subjective. And rabbits don't come out of my hat, but I'll do my best. Objects in mirror may be closer than they appear. Buy one and I'll throw in a set of free steak knives, just pay separate shipping and handling fees.
As sent to me:
Dear Wonderful All Knowing Agent: 23 year old Sophia Hudson isn't expecting anything out of the ordinary to happen during her last year of college. Her life is so humdrum that she finds excitement through celebrity gossip. Honestly she’s just hoping to keep her head low, and squeak by without much effort before collecting her photography degree. But her cynical outlook changes when her bushy afro walks into Dr. Matthew Brooks’ anthropology class. Sophia finds herself strangely drawn to the professor/sometimes poet, and is surprised when eventually he hints that he is interested in her too.
Sophia has longed for a relationship; she’s wanted to be loved, to have someone there to fend off the loneliness, and to fill the gap in her heart where her father’s love should have gone. She is quick to pin her hopes and dreams onto Matthew. But she quickly discoverers there is more to him than pretty words, and the ability to command a classroom. The man she has built up in her head essentially doesn't exist. The real Matthew Brooks is a man of dark secrets, which slowly bleed out and choke her. He’s actually a polygamist, with a violent lust for control, who has been pulling all of Sophia’s strings from the start. Is Sophia strong enough to assert herself as a person, while escaping from Matthew without him destroying her life?
Power of the Podium is NA thriller at 54,000 words.
I look forward to hearing from you,
With crazy comments added:
Dear Wonderful All Knowing Agent: Inventive but all-knowing should be hyphenated. 23 year old (You need hyphens here too. 23-year-old) Sophia Hudson isn't expecting anything out of the ordinary to happen during her last year of college. Her life is so humdrum that she finds excitement through celebrity gossip.(Sharpen. 23-year-old Sophia Hudson is experiencing an ordinary final year of college. The only excitement in her life is celebrity gossip.) Honestly she’s just hoping to keep her head low, and squeak by without much effort before collecting her photography degree. (As as start, I've seen this before many times. MC is Jane Average.) But her cynical outlook changes when her bushy afro (I see you're trying to include her ethnicity but this is an awkward way to describe her. Why not proud afro or well-styled afro or defiant afro. Try using an adjective that could also apply to her personality. Then you get a double whammy.) walks into Dr. Matthew Brooks’ anthropology class. Sophia finds herself strangely drawn to the professor/sometimes poet, and is surprised when eventually he hints that he is interested in her too. (So far nothing about a thriller here. Sue me, I peeked at the genre first.)
Sophia has longed for a relationship; she’s wanted to be loved, to have someone there to fend off the loneliness, and to fill the gap in her heart where her father’s love should have gone.(Does this describe half a freshman class, or is that just me? You'd think a senior would outgrow it. This sentence could be distilled down to Looking for love, she is quick...) She is quick to pin her hopes and dreams onto Matthew. But she quickly discoverers there is more to him than pretty words, and the ability to command a classroom. The man she has built up in her head essentially doesn't exist. (Essentially weakens the sentence. You're saying there are exceptions. Meh, he's not so bad. X O on the wimp out.) The real Matthew Brooks is a man of dark secrets, which slowly bleed out and choke her. (Generic details that don't tell me much, except for the 'secrets.') He’s actually a polygamist, with a violent lust for control, who has been pulling all of Sophia’s strings from the start. Is Sophia strong enough to assert herself as a person, while escaping from Matthew without him destroying her life? Now I'm engaged, but you saved it for the last tiny bit.
Power of the Podium is NA thriller at 54,000 words. I don't know about NA, but this word count seems low for YA or adult. I figure NA fits inside there somewhere. Of course, I'm used to speculative fiction word counts. Title should be in all caps or in italics.
Thanks and I look forward to hearing from you, Don't forget the grateful thanks.
To me it seems like this query takes too long to get to the good stuff. You give us some details about her life and her situation but leave the action and plot to the end. Essentially (sorry, I had to do it), your query has a lot of backstory. You have included her motivation, she wants to be loved. But try to get to it sooner.
23-year-old Sophia Hudson has spent her whole college career wishing for love. All she has to show for it is a pile of supermarket magazines describing exciting celebrity romance. Then her stately afro walks into Dr. Matthew Brooks' anthropology class.
She's quick to pin her hopes and dreams on this professor/sometimes poet. Secrets. Bad stuff. She must ... or ...
I hope this helps.
