Michelle Hauck's Blog, page 132
August 19, 2013
Query Questions with Kate McKean
Writers have copious amounts of imagination. It's what makes their stories so fantastic. But there's a darker side to so much out of the box thinking. When a writer is in the query trenches, their worries go into overdrive. They start pulling out their hair and imagine every possible disaster.
Here to relieve some of that endless worrying is a new series of posts called Query Questions. I'll ask the questions which prey on every writer's mind, and hopefully take some of the pain out of querying. These are questions that I've seen tossed around on twitter and writing sites like Agent Query Connect. They are the type of questions that you need answers for the real expert--agents!
If you have your own specific query question, please leave it in the comments and it might show up in future editions of Query Questions as I plan to rotate the questions.
Please welcome Kate McKean from the Howard Morhaim Literary Agency. Kate has recently reopened to queries.
I’ve heard August is a time when publishing shuts down. Does that make it a better or worse time to query?
--It's harder for agents to get answers from publishers, because of everyone's dueling vacations, but it not necessarily harder for an author to get a response from an agent. Agents go on vacation, too, so that might slow things down a little bit. Really, there's no one better or worse time to query. If we all thought August was the best time to query, then everyone would query then, and then it would become the worst time to query!
Does one typo or misplaced comma shoot down the entire query?
Of course not. But it can add up. Agents can tell a typo from mistakes that show the author does not have command of the language. Try extra hard not to, however, get the agent's name wrong.
Do you look at sample pages without fail or only if the query is strong?
It depends. If the query is not in a genre I represent, I'm not going to spend time on the sample pages. But agents know it's hard to write query letters, and we can be sympathetic.
Do crazy fonts caused by email gremlins make for an automatic rejection?
Agents can tell when there's a formatting error caused by conversions. We understand and won't hold that against the author. (Dancing gifs and purple fonts on purpose are annoying, though.) There's no automatic rejection, except when I see a query that's clearly in a genre I didn't represent. Authors should be less worried about automatic rejects--it's a bit of a myth that perpetuates the agent as the evil gatekeeper who enjoys killing writers' dreams. That's just not true. We just want books we can sell, and we can't sell every book. Even some good ones.
Do you prefer a little personalized chit-chat in a query letter, or would you rather hear about the manuscript?
I want to hear about the manuscript. Chit-chat won't get you rejected, but it won't get you represented either.
Most agents have said they don’t care whether the word count/genre sentence comes first or last. But is it a red flag if one component is not included?
Yes. I need to know the word count. I cannot sell a novel that 375,000 words long, or an adult novel that 13,000 words long. Genre is also very important, though we recognize that you might not get it right on the first try. If you're stumped for what genre to call yourself, imagine what shelf in the bookstore (a physical bookstore) you'd be on. You only get one shelf. Start there and add maybe ONE adjective. Like paranormal Romance (romance being your shelf). Or near future Science-Fiction (Science-Fiction being your shelf). Don't call yourself a military thriller mystery love story with a hint of fantasy. Where the heck would that go in the store?
Is there a bias against querying authors who have self-published other books?
A bias? No. Can it complicate things? Maybe. Can it help you? Maybe. If you've sold a very large quantity of books, it can help you (think +50k to 100k copies). If you've sold 2,000 copies, that's strong, but some traditionally published books only sell 2,000 copies. What if those are the only 2,000 copies your book could sell in any situation? What can a traditional publisher do then? I see many, many queries that say "I tried self-publishing and I was really disappointed. I want an agent and traditional publisher to make me a success now." That makes me sad. I probably can't help those people, and self-publishing may have hurt them. Every book is different, so there's no one answer to this question. But self-publishing is not a fast track to stardom like some think. It's a full time job. I just hope authors who do decide to do it, because it can really work great for some authors/books, do all their homework before they self-publish. Those sales numbers don't go away. Ever.
Do you go through a large group of queries at a time or hold yourself to a few?
It varies. Sometimes I can answer them right away. Some times I block off a Saturday and binge. Sometimes I hold the ones I want to spend more time on too long. I wish I had a foolproof system, but my workload varies weekly and there are always more queries to read.
How many queries do you receive in a week? How many requests might you make out of those?
I receive 100-150 a week and I may request one a week. Maybe.
Many agents say they don't care if writers are active online. Could a twitter account or blog presence by a writer tip the scales in getting a request or offer? And do you require writers you sign to start one?
No, to both. A book is good or a book is not good--in fiction. In non-fiction, it's a whole 'nother ballgame, and you have to have a demonstrable platform and a considerable online presence. I like it when a novelist has an online platform, because it's great to have that in place before publication, but it's not a condition in our agency contract or anything. It doesn't make a novel instantly more saleable, to me.
What bio should an author with no publishing credits include?
"This is my first novel." is a completely acceptable author bio if there are no publishing credits. It is the preferred author bio over: "I've been writing since I as three. I was published once in the 8th grade yearbook and had two poems in my college literary journal."
What does ‘just didn’t connect enough’ mean to you?
There wasn't a spark that made me go "OH." It didn't make me sit up and pay attention to it, over the din of the other queries. There wasn't a special enough hook, or it was too similar to many other things I'd seen that day, week, month, or year. The writing might be good, but nothing stood out to me.
What does ‘just not right mean for me’ mean to you?
It's sometimes close to "just didn't connect enough." It was either in a genre I don't represent (though I have a form reject for that case, too) or is in a tone that I just don't get (like snarky satire that's meant to harpoon an industry or culture--I just don't read or like those kinds of books). Sometimes it means I just don't think I can sell it.
What themes are you sick of seeing?
Angels/demon heaven/hell stories, ghost kids coming back from the dead to solve their murders, parents dying in car crashes in YA novels, orphan/foster kid stories in YA novels, super quirky middle grade novels about kid geniuses that must save the world, adult novels where the author clearly has an ax to grind with their ex/boss/job/failed career path. Women's fiction about cancer survival, jerk husbands, or getting your groove back. Women's fiction about the cute guy from high school back in town/tempting the woman, oh and someone's probably restoring a B&B somewhere. I see these things every day in the query pile. Please show me something new!
What’s the strangest/funniest thing you’ve seen in a query?
There are many strange things in the query pile, but the ones I remember most are the angry queries who respond to rejections. (Don't do this.) Some are profane and mean (I've been called a racist, a jerk, braindead--you name it.) But some one did respond once, in big, red, 99 point font--BIG MISTAKE. I'm sure this person thought I was making a big mistake. That's fine. But the huge font and red type made me giggle.
What three things are at the top of your submission wish list?
Contemporary YA, Contemporary Women's Fiction, Craft books (sewing, knitting, etc) by authors with a demonstrable platform.
What are some of your favorite movies or books to give us an idea of your tastes?
My favorite movies are Back to the Future 1 & 2 (though I don't necessarily like time travel books), A Hard Day's Night, and I'll watch The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants movie anytime it's on. (I love those books, too). I'm a big Star Trek: TNG fan. Among my favorite books are E. Lockhart's The Disreputable History of Frankie Landau-Banks, Nicole Krauss' The History of Love, Michael Chabon's The Amazing Adventures of Kavalier and Clay, MT Anderson's Feed, and hundreds of others.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Kate earned her Master's degree in Fiction Writing from the University of Southern Mississippi before starting her career as a literary agent.
Her interests lie in:
Fiction, for adults: Contemporary romance, contemporary women's fiction, literary fiction, historical fiction set in the 20th Century, high fantasy, magical realism, science fiction.
And for children/teens: Middle grade, young adult, and new adult full length novels only in the areas of: mystery, thriller, horror, romance, LGBTQ issues, contemporary fiction, sports, magical realism, fantasy, and science fiction.
Non-Fiction, for adults or children/teens: Books by authors with demonstrable platforms in the areas of sports, food writing, humor, design, creativity, and craft (sewing, knitting, etc.). Narrative Non-fiction by authors with or without an established platform. Some memoir.
She is NOT actively looking for:
Fiction, for adults: Mysteries, thrillers, crime, paranormal romance, urban fantasy. She is not the best reader of fiction that features: cops/private detectives/FBI/CIA, fairy tale retellings, dragons, werewolves/vampires/zombies etc., satire, spoof, or the picaresque. No novellas.
Fiction, for children/kids: books that feature dragons, angels/demons/Grim Reaper, werewolves/vampires/zombies etc., zany middle grade stories about a character's wacky adventures, stories about bullying, stories that center around orphans or parents who die in car crashes, ghost-teens back to right wrongs. No novels in verse. No picture books or chapter books.
Non-fiction, for adults, children/teens: Memoir in the areas of cancer survival, drug addiction, mental heath, infertility, or other topics WIDELY covered by current memoir, mind/body/spirit, religion, politics, diet/exercise by authors with NO demonstrable platform, collections of blog posts or newspaper columns for republication.
Here to relieve some of that endless worrying is a new series of posts called Query Questions. I'll ask the questions which prey on every writer's mind, and hopefully take some of the pain out of querying. These are questions that I've seen tossed around on twitter and writing sites like Agent Query Connect. They are the type of questions that you need answers for the real expert--agents!
If you have your own specific query question, please leave it in the comments and it might show up in future editions of Query Questions as I plan to rotate the questions.
Please welcome Kate McKean from the Howard Morhaim Literary Agency. Kate has recently reopened to queries.
I’ve heard August is a time when publishing shuts down. Does that make it a better or worse time to query?
--It's harder for agents to get answers from publishers, because of everyone's dueling vacations, but it not necessarily harder for an author to get a response from an agent. Agents go on vacation, too, so that might slow things down a little bit. Really, there's no one better or worse time to query. If we all thought August was the best time to query, then everyone would query then, and then it would become the worst time to query!
Does one typo or misplaced comma shoot down the entire query?
Of course not. But it can add up. Agents can tell a typo from mistakes that show the author does not have command of the language. Try extra hard not to, however, get the agent's name wrong.
Do you look at sample pages without fail or only if the query is strong?
It depends. If the query is not in a genre I represent, I'm not going to spend time on the sample pages. But agents know it's hard to write query letters, and we can be sympathetic.
Do crazy fonts caused by email gremlins make for an automatic rejection?
Agents can tell when there's a formatting error caused by conversions. We understand and won't hold that against the author. (Dancing gifs and purple fonts on purpose are annoying, though.) There's no automatic rejection, except when I see a query that's clearly in a genre I didn't represent. Authors should be less worried about automatic rejects--it's a bit of a myth that perpetuates the agent as the evil gatekeeper who enjoys killing writers' dreams. That's just not true. We just want books we can sell, and we can't sell every book. Even some good ones.
Do you prefer a little personalized chit-chat in a query letter, or would you rather hear about the manuscript?
I want to hear about the manuscript. Chit-chat won't get you rejected, but it won't get you represented either.
Most agents have said they don’t care whether the word count/genre sentence comes first or last. But is it a red flag if one component is not included?
Yes. I need to know the word count. I cannot sell a novel that 375,000 words long, or an adult novel that 13,000 words long. Genre is also very important, though we recognize that you might not get it right on the first try. If you're stumped for what genre to call yourself, imagine what shelf in the bookstore (a physical bookstore) you'd be on. You only get one shelf. Start there and add maybe ONE adjective. Like paranormal Romance (romance being your shelf). Or near future Science-Fiction (Science-Fiction being your shelf). Don't call yourself a military thriller mystery love story with a hint of fantasy. Where the heck would that go in the store?
Is there a bias against querying authors who have self-published other books?
A bias? No. Can it complicate things? Maybe. Can it help you? Maybe. If you've sold a very large quantity of books, it can help you (think +50k to 100k copies). If you've sold 2,000 copies, that's strong, but some traditionally published books only sell 2,000 copies. What if those are the only 2,000 copies your book could sell in any situation? What can a traditional publisher do then? I see many, many queries that say "I tried self-publishing and I was really disappointed. I want an agent and traditional publisher to make me a success now." That makes me sad. I probably can't help those people, and self-publishing may have hurt them. Every book is different, so there's no one answer to this question. But self-publishing is not a fast track to stardom like some think. It's a full time job. I just hope authors who do decide to do it, because it can really work great for some authors/books, do all their homework before they self-publish. Those sales numbers don't go away. Ever.
Do you go through a large group of queries at a time or hold yourself to a few?
It varies. Sometimes I can answer them right away. Some times I block off a Saturday and binge. Sometimes I hold the ones I want to spend more time on too long. I wish I had a foolproof system, but my workload varies weekly and there are always more queries to read.
How many queries do you receive in a week? How many requests might you make out of those?
I receive 100-150 a week and I may request one a week. Maybe.
Many agents say they don't care if writers are active online. Could a twitter account or blog presence by a writer tip the scales in getting a request or offer? And do you require writers you sign to start one?
No, to both. A book is good or a book is not good--in fiction. In non-fiction, it's a whole 'nother ballgame, and you have to have a demonstrable platform and a considerable online presence. I like it when a novelist has an online platform, because it's great to have that in place before publication, but it's not a condition in our agency contract or anything. It doesn't make a novel instantly more saleable, to me.
What bio should an author with no publishing credits include?
"This is my first novel." is a completely acceptable author bio if there are no publishing credits. It is the preferred author bio over: "I've been writing since I as three. I was published once in the 8th grade yearbook and had two poems in my college literary journal."
What does ‘just didn’t connect enough’ mean to you?
There wasn't a spark that made me go "OH." It didn't make me sit up and pay attention to it, over the din of the other queries. There wasn't a special enough hook, or it was too similar to many other things I'd seen that day, week, month, or year. The writing might be good, but nothing stood out to me.
What does ‘just not right mean for me’ mean to you?
It's sometimes close to "just didn't connect enough." It was either in a genre I don't represent (though I have a form reject for that case, too) or is in a tone that I just don't get (like snarky satire that's meant to harpoon an industry or culture--I just don't read or like those kinds of books). Sometimes it means I just don't think I can sell it.
What themes are you sick of seeing?
Angels/demon heaven/hell stories, ghost kids coming back from the dead to solve their murders, parents dying in car crashes in YA novels, orphan/foster kid stories in YA novels, super quirky middle grade novels about kid geniuses that must save the world, adult novels where the author clearly has an ax to grind with their ex/boss/job/failed career path. Women's fiction about cancer survival, jerk husbands, or getting your groove back. Women's fiction about the cute guy from high school back in town/tempting the woman, oh and someone's probably restoring a B&B somewhere. I see these things every day in the query pile. Please show me something new!
What’s the strangest/funniest thing you’ve seen in a query?
There are many strange things in the query pile, but the ones I remember most are the angry queries who respond to rejections. (Don't do this.) Some are profane and mean (I've been called a racist, a jerk, braindead--you name it.) But some one did respond once, in big, red, 99 point font--BIG MISTAKE. I'm sure this person thought I was making a big mistake. That's fine. But the huge font and red type made me giggle.
What three things are at the top of your submission wish list?
Contemporary YA, Contemporary Women's Fiction, Craft books (sewing, knitting, etc) by authors with a demonstrable platform.
What are some of your favorite movies or books to give us an idea of your tastes?
My favorite movies are Back to the Future 1 & 2 (though I don't necessarily like time travel books), A Hard Day's Night, and I'll watch The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants movie anytime it's on. (I love those books, too). I'm a big Star Trek: TNG fan. Among my favorite books are E. Lockhart's The Disreputable History of Frankie Landau-Banks, Nicole Krauss' The History of Love, Michael Chabon's The Amazing Adventures of Kavalier and Clay, MT Anderson's Feed, and hundreds of others.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Kate earned her Master's degree in Fiction Writing from the University of Southern Mississippi before starting her career as a literary agent.
Her interests lie in:
Fiction, for adults: Contemporary romance, contemporary women's fiction, literary fiction, historical fiction set in the 20th Century, high fantasy, magical realism, science fiction.
And for children/teens: Middle grade, young adult, and new adult full length novels only in the areas of: mystery, thriller, horror, romance, LGBTQ issues, contemporary fiction, sports, magical realism, fantasy, and science fiction.
Non-Fiction, for adults or children/teens: Books by authors with demonstrable platforms in the areas of sports, food writing, humor, design, creativity, and craft (sewing, knitting, etc.). Narrative Non-fiction by authors with or without an established platform. Some memoir.
She is NOT actively looking for:
Fiction, for adults: Mysteries, thrillers, crime, paranormal romance, urban fantasy. She is not the best reader of fiction that features: cops/private detectives/FBI/CIA, fairy tale retellings, dragons, werewolves/vampires/zombies etc., satire, spoof, or the picaresque. No novellas.
Fiction, for children/kids: books that feature dragons, angels/demons/Grim Reaper, werewolves/vampires/zombies etc., zany middle grade stories about a character's wacky adventures, stories about bullying, stories that center around orphans or parents who die in car crashes, ghost-teens back to right wrongs. No novels in verse. No picture books or chapter books.
Non-fiction, for adults, children/teens: Memoir in the areas of cancer survival, drug addiction, mental heath, infertility, or other topics WIDELY covered by current memoir, mind/body/spirit, religion, politics, diet/exercise by authors with NO demonstrable platform, collections of blog posts or newspaper columns for republication.
August 16, 2013
Summer Query Extravaganza 23
This will be the last query for a while I'm closing down the queries for a week or so as I transition back to work next week. I do plan to resume critiquing once my schedule settles down.
Comment on the query before and after yours. All query critiques are subjective. And rabbits don't come out of my hat, but I'll do my best. Objects in mirror may be closer than they appear. Buy one and I'll throw in a set of free steak knives, just pay separate shipping and handling fees.
As sent to me:
Dear Astute Agent,
College student Trista Dividir has no idea she’s involved with two men and an unwilling informant for the DEA – but Marvy, one of her multiple personalities, does.
Naively, she thought she could keep their lives separate – she convinced herself she could. But when Marvy’s reckless, alcoholic, cigarette smoking night-on-the-town causes Trista to retrieve her car at a nightclub, it starts a chain of events throwing any kind of dream of graduating Baylor in the toilet. Mistaken for Marvy, she meets two of alter’s lovers, Alex and Bryson. She also discovers Marvy, caught doing drugs, is working with the DEA. Trista yearns for Alex, but Bryson is the target of the investigation. Every step she takes to get out of Marvy’s mess entangles her deeper into his criminal activity, forcing her to leave Alex behind. To make things more complicated, she learns of three other alter personalities, none of which she remembers. Her only choice to save her, and her other selves, is to get the information the DEA need by going with Bryson to meet the Baltic Crime Family in Croatia. This decision risks her life, her secret, and her relationship with Alex.
PIECES OF ONE is a suspenseful New Adult romance complete at 85,000 words and a selected Finalist submission in the 2013 Pacific Northwest Writer’s Association Literary Competition.
Thank you in advance for your time and consideration.
With my crazy comments:
Dear Astute Agent,
College student Trista Dividir has no idea she’s involved with two men and an unwilling informant for the DEA – but Marvy, one of her multiple personalities, does. (I was like 'eh?', then 'ah!' with this first sentence. What do you mean she doesn't have any idea, then oh, I see.)
Naively, she thought she could keep their lives separate – she convinced herself she could. (I'm a little confused because I thought Trista had no idea of her multiply lives, but this suggests she does know about them but chooses to ignore it. This is more of a set-up sentence, and I'd consider cutting it and starting with the action of the following sentence.) But when Marvy’s reckless, alcoholic, cigarette smoking night-on-the-town causes forces Trista to retrieve her car at a nightclub, it starts a chain of events throwing any kind of dream of graduating Baylor in the toilet. Mistaken for Marvy, she meets two of her alter’s lovers, Alex and Bryson. She also discovers Marvy, caught doing drugs, is working with the DEA. Consider a new paragraph here. Trista yearns for Alex, but it is Bryson the DEA instructs her to get friendly with. is the target of the investigation. Every step she takes to get out of Marvy’s mess entangles her deeper into his criminal activity, forcing her to leave Alex behind. To make things more complicated, she learns of three other alter personalities, none of which she remembers(This sentence focuses the reader in the wrong direction. I'm all about the drugs and trouble, and it brings me up short. Maybe cut and add a sentence that explains more about the drug trouble and her romance. Try and get the crime family into the action sooner by putting it here.). Her only choice to save her, and her other selves (maybe: all her selves), is to get the information the DEA needs by going with Bryson to meet the Baltic Crime Family in Croatia. (Wait, what? This is sort of a last minute surprise.) This decision risks her life, her secret, and her relationship with Alex. I'm not sure this sinker does the query justice. If the DEA doesn't lock her away, the crime family will see all her selves DOA, and both options will ruin her chance at love with Alex. But that idea doesn't bring back working out her multiple personalities. Maybe another reader will have a better idea.
PIECES OF ONE is a suspenseful New Adult romance complete at 85,000 words and a selected Finalist submission in the 2013 Pacific Northwest Writer’s Association Literary Competition. Nice bio.
Thank you in advance for your time and consideration.
This query has a neat concept. It sounds like an exciting read. There are a couple of sentences that don't really add much to the query, or which spin us in the wrong direction. Consider taking them out to work in more detail about the crime. I'd also recommend getting the crime family higher in the query, because it is a juicy detail and because launching it at the end, makes it seem like a last minute surprise.
Comment on the query before and after yours. All query critiques are subjective. And rabbits don't come out of my hat, but I'll do my best. Objects in mirror may be closer than they appear. Buy one and I'll throw in a set of free steak knives, just pay separate shipping and handling fees.
As sent to me:
Dear Astute Agent,
College student Trista Dividir has no idea she’s involved with two men and an unwilling informant for the DEA – but Marvy, one of her multiple personalities, does.
Naively, she thought she could keep their lives separate – she convinced herself she could. But when Marvy’s reckless, alcoholic, cigarette smoking night-on-the-town causes Trista to retrieve her car at a nightclub, it starts a chain of events throwing any kind of dream of graduating Baylor in the toilet. Mistaken for Marvy, she meets two of alter’s lovers, Alex and Bryson. She also discovers Marvy, caught doing drugs, is working with the DEA. Trista yearns for Alex, but Bryson is the target of the investigation. Every step she takes to get out of Marvy’s mess entangles her deeper into his criminal activity, forcing her to leave Alex behind. To make things more complicated, she learns of three other alter personalities, none of which she remembers. Her only choice to save her, and her other selves, is to get the information the DEA need by going with Bryson to meet the Baltic Crime Family in Croatia. This decision risks her life, her secret, and her relationship with Alex.
PIECES OF ONE is a suspenseful New Adult romance complete at 85,000 words and a selected Finalist submission in the 2013 Pacific Northwest Writer’s Association Literary Competition.
Thank you in advance for your time and consideration.
With my crazy comments:
Dear Astute Agent,
College student Trista Dividir has no idea she’s involved with two men and an unwilling informant for the DEA – but Marvy, one of her multiple personalities, does. (I was like 'eh?', then 'ah!' with this first sentence. What do you mean she doesn't have any idea, then oh, I see.)
Naively, she thought she could keep their lives separate – she convinced herself she could. (I'm a little confused because I thought Trista had no idea of her multiply lives, but this suggests she does know about them but chooses to ignore it. This is more of a set-up sentence, and I'd consider cutting it and starting with the action of the following sentence.) But when Marvy’s reckless, alcoholic, cigarette smoking night-on-the-town causes forces Trista to retrieve her car at a nightclub, it starts a chain of events throwing any kind of dream of graduating Baylor in the toilet. Mistaken for Marvy, she meets two of her alter’s lovers, Alex and Bryson. She also discovers Marvy, caught doing drugs, is working with the DEA. Consider a new paragraph here. Trista yearns for Alex, but it is Bryson the DEA instructs her to get friendly with. is the target of the investigation. Every step she takes to get out of Marvy’s mess entangles her deeper into his criminal activity, forcing her to leave Alex behind. To make things more complicated, she learns of three other alter personalities, none of which she remembers(This sentence focuses the reader in the wrong direction. I'm all about the drugs and trouble, and it brings me up short. Maybe cut and add a sentence that explains more about the drug trouble and her romance. Try and get the crime family into the action sooner by putting it here.). Her only choice to save her, and her other selves (maybe: all her selves), is to get the information the DEA needs by going with Bryson to meet the Baltic Crime Family in Croatia. (Wait, what? This is sort of a last minute surprise.) This decision risks her life, her secret, and her relationship with Alex. I'm not sure this sinker does the query justice. If the DEA doesn't lock her away, the crime family will see all her selves DOA, and both options will ruin her chance at love with Alex. But that idea doesn't bring back working out her multiple personalities. Maybe another reader will have a better idea.
PIECES OF ONE is a suspenseful New Adult romance complete at 85,000 words and a selected Finalist submission in the 2013 Pacific Northwest Writer’s Association Literary Competition. Nice bio.
Thank you in advance for your time and consideration.
This query has a neat concept. It sounds like an exciting read. There are a couple of sentences that don't really add much to the query, or which spin us in the wrong direction. Consider taking them out to work in more detail about the crime. I'd also recommend getting the crime family higher in the query, because it is a juicy detail and because launching it at the end, makes it seem like a last minute surprise.
A Success Story from Query Kombat
You may know her as "Champagne and Hot Dogs" from Query Kombat. But now, you know her as Stephanie Wahlstrom, author of "The Accidental Socialite," an author with TWO agents and a book deal!
We love hearing these success stories, so thank you so much Stephanie for agreeing to do this interview (this interview is fun, especially the "The Call" question, so read it all!).
ON TO THE INTERVIEW.
1. First things first: CONGRATS! How does it feel to have two agents and a book deal?
Not gonna lie, pretty AMAZING! I still can’t believe this has all happened.
2. Tell us a little about your book.
It’s called THE ACCIDENTAL SOCIALITE and it’s about Paige, a small town Canadian girl who moves to London and accidentally becomes famous.
3. What part of your book do you love the most, and what part of it did your agents/editor love the most? (This is a trick on my part to force shy writers to brag about their book.)
My favourite part about the book is probably when she stabs Prince William with a Star Wars McDonalds toy because a version of that happened in real life. I still can’t believe I wasn’t deported for it.
I think what the publisher and my agent liked best about the book was that they genuinely thought it was funny, which is completely and totally amazing, because my biggest fear was that I was the only one who thought it was funny.
4. What would be the best compliment you could ever ever get about your book, something that’d send you into the clouds even months after receiving it?
I’ve always said that all I want to do is entertain a person I don’t know in a language I don’t speak. I have always dreamed about being in an airport somewhere and seeing a random person reading my book in another language and laughing. That would be the ultimate compliment! Also, if there was a moment when someone referenced something in front of me from the book (in a good/funny way) without knowing I’d written it that would also make my life!
5. You were Champagne and Hot Dogs in the Query Kombat Kontest. You went FAR in the Kontest; how was that experience? Did it help you out?
Query Kombat helped more than I knew! First of all, it was a much needed boost of confidence. Also, the comments were very helpful. One of the comments in particular actually made a big difference to my book. Someone posted that Paige seemed too old to be acting the way she was. They were totally right! When I first started to write the book two years ago she was supposed to be 22-ish but I googled around and realized that in order for the book to sell she would probably need to be at least 25 (New Adult wasn’t a ‘thing’ yet) so I changed the age. When I saw that comment I realized I wasn’t being true to the story and changed her age back to 22. Then all of this happened. My mentor Jean Oram was also amazing. My query was much better because of her and that’s the one I sent out with the requests that resulted in my offers.
6. You also were a part of Brenda Lee Drake’s Pitch Madness. Brenda helped us TREMENDOUSLY in Query Kombat, so thanks goes out to her as well! How did Pitch Madness help you? How was that experience?
Pitch Madness helped me get a good understanding of what the heart of the story was, which I think is one of the hardest things. Pitch Madness was also so awesome because it introduced me to the twitter writing community which is completely amazing and super duper helpful!
I also perfected my 35 word pitch with the help of Mina Vaughn and that’s the one I submitted to PitchMAS in July which is where all the offers came from.
7. What are your thoughts on writerly contests? Should writers enter them? Why or why not?
ABSOLUTELY! It helps you figure out what’s going right/wrong and get requests. It’s also a great way to find support with other writers. I can’t stress enough how much everyone’s support and belief got me through almost quitting, like, a million times. But I don’t think it’s the only thing they should do. I have noticed that it was a lot of the same agents participating in the comps which means after you do a few there tends to be a lot of repeats, so less requests.
8. The fun fun fun part: Tell us about getting “The Call.” How was it/What happened/What did you do when you found out you got agented? And then, separately, when you got a book deal? Tell us the WHOLE story! We love stories like these. *grabs popcorn*
So, sit down and get a glass of wine. This may be a long one….
I’d been entering competitions and having some luck with requests, but still hadn’t ever got ‘the call’. There was a lot of ‘I like it, but I don’t love it’. Which is disheartening to say the least. It got to the point where I sat down with one of my best friends who is a lawyer and we talked about self-publishing and my timeline for it. But I wasn’t sure that was for me, so in a last ditch effort to get an agent, I took the 35 word pitch I’d honed in Pitch Madness and sent it in to PitchMAS in July.
I couldn’t believe I’d made the blog part of the contest! Not only that, but I got three requests, all from publishers. My grandmother and aunt were visiting that evening so I had a quick dinner with them and then went home super excited and stayed up until midnight sending the requests out. Then I was due to meet my boyfriend in Cannes the next morning at 11. I randomly woke up at 5am and looked at my phone and I had an email from Georgia McBride, Publisher at Swoon Romance saying she loved the book, was still finishing it and would offer by the weekend. It was Friday. I sat straight up, called my boyfriend who was still asleep like normal people and sent my lawyer friend a text that went something like ‘WAKE UP IMMEDIATELY. WAKE UP WAKE UP WAKE UP’. Then I went to the gym because I had so much energy and then I sent an email to everyone who had my MS, which was the other two publishers and 3 agents and hopped into the shower. My friend woke up, thought I was dead/being kidnapped and called/texted several times. I sent her a screen grab of the email and she freaked out with me. I danced some more and then went to Heathrow.
I got on a plane to Cannes and the second the wheels touched down, I threw caution to my mobile phone bill and turned on my roaming to find a two book deal offer from Publisher 2. Publisher 3 bowed out because they couldn’t read the MS in time. I emailed Publisher 1 re Publisher 2 and then met my boyfriend in the airport, told him the news and we both did a high five dance.
We drove to our friend’s place and that’s where I got a call from Pub 2 asking if I had any other questions. I was freaking out and it was so hard because there is pretty much no reception in the hills of Cannes. Then I got a 3 book offer from Pub 1. Then I almost fainted and a few min later I got a request in PitchMAS from Pub 4. Sorry, I know this is all getting a bit Gossip Girl cryptic and hard to follow, but that was how it happened. When I got reception, I emailed them all and asked if I could have some time to think and sent the MS to Pub 4. I had 2 weeks. Longest 2 weeks of my life!
I had no idea what to do, the offers were quite different and I really needed the help of an agent. But, the agents that had my MS got back to me and turned me down, even though I had two offers. I panicked and emailed Stephanie Thwaites, Curtis Brown’s Children’s Agent. I’d taken a course through Curtis Brown Creative that she taught with Tony Bradman. I highly recommend taking a writing course. It helped this MS a lot even though I was there with another one. Totally wished I’d taken it before I’d started writing. Anyway, I assumed Stephanie wouldn’t rep me, considering how amazing she is, but I was hoping she could offer a tiny bit of advice on some things like average royalties, sales figures etc.
To my surprise, she asked to read the MS and then sent me emails using words like ‘we’. I felt like a teenage girl whose crush hinted that he liked her. I sent a super awkward email saying something to the effect ‘does this mean you’re my agent now?’ and she was like, of course! Two weeks to the day after all the madness started, I went into the Curtis brown offices and signed with Stephanie. I had the same agent as Winnie the Pooh. Winnie. The. Pooh. EMERGAHD!
Then she took care of everything and it was so awesome. Curtis Brown works with ICM in the US and Stephanie asked Lyndsay Hemphill if she’d like to represent me there. And then she said yes! I couldn’t believe it! It was like all my dreams had come true at once. Stephanie and Lyndsay worked away behind the scenes and Pub 4 offered. It was so hard to make a decision between the three offers, but in the end, Georgia was super duper nice and also passionate about the book from the beginning and we all agreed Swoon Romance was the best place for THE ACCIDENTAL SOCIALITE in North America.
It was fitting that when I got the email from Stephanie and Lyndsay about a final decision I happened to be walking down Kings Road in London past the road my first flat share was on. I stopped right there and wrote back accepting the offer from Swoon Romance and then went to meet one of my best friends who was visiting from South Africa (and the best friend character in my book is loosely based on her). We had a glass of champagne and sitting there with her and with all the news, I welled up. This was my real life now, not just the daydream I’d been having for years!
9. Do you have anything to say to the herds of writers out there? Any advice?
DO NOT GIVE UP! I know everyone says that but literally the week before all of this started I was crying to my boyfriend about how much of a failure I was and told him I was quitting. I kept feeling like I was kind of good, but would never be good enough to be published and it was soul crushing. He made me promise to wait for five more rejections before I packed it in. I did and it worked out. But in the end, it just takes one person to be passionate about your work. Writers need to have balls of steel because there is no other job (except for TV… I work in children’s television and there is a lot of rejection there too, trust me.) where you work for so long on something and bare your soul like this only to get rejected constantly. Support each other and really take in comments and criticisms. Some of them won’t be right for you, but if I had ignored the comments in Query Kombat, I definitely wouldn’t be writing this interview right now.
Woo! Congrats, Stephanie!!! Loved your story, and all our good wishes are with you.
Growing up in Edmonton, Canada, a significant amount of my time was spent making up and acting out stories. I graduated from the University of Alberta with an English and Sociology degree and I also have a Bachelor of Motion Picture Arts (that’s a fancy term for Film School) from Red Deer College. After a fateful trip to Mexico in 2006 I decided to move to New York City to work in film development. A year later I went back home to write My Green House, a factual TV series. I moved to London in 2008 and aside from being obsessed with Eggs Benedict, Fruit Roll Ups and travelling, I also work in Children’s Television. The Accidental Socialite is my first novel.
You can find her on Twitter over here, and on her website over here! (Seriously. Go find her. And follow her (in a non-stalker way).)
We love hearing these success stories, so thank you so much Stephanie for agreeing to do this interview (this interview is fun, especially the "The Call" question, so read it all!).
ON TO THE INTERVIEW.
1. First things first: CONGRATS! How does it feel to have two agents and a book deal?
Not gonna lie, pretty AMAZING! I still can’t believe this has all happened.
2. Tell us a little about your book.
It’s called THE ACCIDENTAL SOCIALITE and it’s about Paige, a small town Canadian girl who moves to London and accidentally becomes famous.
3. What part of your book do you love the most, and what part of it did your agents/editor love the most? (This is a trick on my part to force shy writers to brag about their book.)
My favourite part about the book is probably when she stabs Prince William with a Star Wars McDonalds toy because a version of that happened in real life. I still can’t believe I wasn’t deported for it.
I think what the publisher and my agent liked best about the book was that they genuinely thought it was funny, which is completely and totally amazing, because my biggest fear was that I was the only one who thought it was funny.
4. What would be the best compliment you could ever ever get about your book, something that’d send you into the clouds even months after receiving it?
I’ve always said that all I want to do is entertain a person I don’t know in a language I don’t speak. I have always dreamed about being in an airport somewhere and seeing a random person reading my book in another language and laughing. That would be the ultimate compliment! Also, if there was a moment when someone referenced something in front of me from the book (in a good/funny way) without knowing I’d written it that would also make my life!
5. You were Champagne and Hot Dogs in the Query Kombat Kontest. You went FAR in the Kontest; how was that experience? Did it help you out?
Query Kombat helped more than I knew! First of all, it was a much needed boost of confidence. Also, the comments were very helpful. One of the comments in particular actually made a big difference to my book. Someone posted that Paige seemed too old to be acting the way she was. They were totally right! When I first started to write the book two years ago she was supposed to be 22-ish but I googled around and realized that in order for the book to sell she would probably need to be at least 25 (New Adult wasn’t a ‘thing’ yet) so I changed the age. When I saw that comment I realized I wasn’t being true to the story and changed her age back to 22. Then all of this happened. My mentor Jean Oram was also amazing. My query was much better because of her and that’s the one I sent out with the requests that resulted in my offers.
6. You also were a part of Brenda Lee Drake’s Pitch Madness. Brenda helped us TREMENDOUSLY in Query Kombat, so thanks goes out to her as well! How did Pitch Madness help you? How was that experience?
Pitch Madness helped me get a good understanding of what the heart of the story was, which I think is one of the hardest things. Pitch Madness was also so awesome because it introduced me to the twitter writing community which is completely amazing and super duper helpful!
I also perfected my 35 word pitch with the help of Mina Vaughn and that’s the one I submitted to PitchMAS in July which is where all the offers came from.
7. What are your thoughts on writerly contests? Should writers enter them? Why or why not?
ABSOLUTELY! It helps you figure out what’s going right/wrong and get requests. It’s also a great way to find support with other writers. I can’t stress enough how much everyone’s support and belief got me through almost quitting, like, a million times. But I don’t think it’s the only thing they should do. I have noticed that it was a lot of the same agents participating in the comps which means after you do a few there tends to be a lot of repeats, so less requests.
8. The fun fun fun part: Tell us about getting “The Call.” How was it/What happened/What did you do when you found out you got agented? And then, separately, when you got a book deal? Tell us the WHOLE story! We love stories like these. *grabs popcorn*
So, sit down and get a glass of wine. This may be a long one….
I’d been entering competitions and having some luck with requests, but still hadn’t ever got ‘the call’. There was a lot of ‘I like it, but I don’t love it’. Which is disheartening to say the least. It got to the point where I sat down with one of my best friends who is a lawyer and we talked about self-publishing and my timeline for it. But I wasn’t sure that was for me, so in a last ditch effort to get an agent, I took the 35 word pitch I’d honed in Pitch Madness and sent it in to PitchMAS in July.
I couldn’t believe I’d made the blog part of the contest! Not only that, but I got three requests, all from publishers. My grandmother and aunt were visiting that evening so I had a quick dinner with them and then went home super excited and stayed up until midnight sending the requests out. Then I was due to meet my boyfriend in Cannes the next morning at 11. I randomly woke up at 5am and looked at my phone and I had an email from Georgia McBride, Publisher at Swoon Romance saying she loved the book, was still finishing it and would offer by the weekend. It was Friday. I sat straight up, called my boyfriend who was still asleep like normal people and sent my lawyer friend a text that went something like ‘WAKE UP IMMEDIATELY. WAKE UP WAKE UP WAKE UP’. Then I went to the gym because I had so much energy and then I sent an email to everyone who had my MS, which was the other two publishers and 3 agents and hopped into the shower. My friend woke up, thought I was dead/being kidnapped and called/texted several times. I sent her a screen grab of the email and she freaked out with me. I danced some more and then went to Heathrow.
I got on a plane to Cannes and the second the wheels touched down, I threw caution to my mobile phone bill and turned on my roaming to find a two book deal offer from Publisher 2. Publisher 3 bowed out because they couldn’t read the MS in time. I emailed Publisher 1 re Publisher 2 and then met my boyfriend in the airport, told him the news and we both did a high five dance.
We drove to our friend’s place and that’s where I got a call from Pub 2 asking if I had any other questions. I was freaking out and it was so hard because there is pretty much no reception in the hills of Cannes. Then I got a 3 book offer from Pub 1. Then I almost fainted and a few min later I got a request in PitchMAS from Pub 4. Sorry, I know this is all getting a bit Gossip Girl cryptic and hard to follow, but that was how it happened. When I got reception, I emailed them all and asked if I could have some time to think and sent the MS to Pub 4. I had 2 weeks. Longest 2 weeks of my life!
I had no idea what to do, the offers were quite different and I really needed the help of an agent. But, the agents that had my MS got back to me and turned me down, even though I had two offers. I panicked and emailed Stephanie Thwaites, Curtis Brown’s Children’s Agent. I’d taken a course through Curtis Brown Creative that she taught with Tony Bradman. I highly recommend taking a writing course. It helped this MS a lot even though I was there with another one. Totally wished I’d taken it before I’d started writing. Anyway, I assumed Stephanie wouldn’t rep me, considering how amazing she is, but I was hoping she could offer a tiny bit of advice on some things like average royalties, sales figures etc.
To my surprise, she asked to read the MS and then sent me emails using words like ‘we’. I felt like a teenage girl whose crush hinted that he liked her. I sent a super awkward email saying something to the effect ‘does this mean you’re my agent now?’ and she was like, of course! Two weeks to the day after all the madness started, I went into the Curtis brown offices and signed with Stephanie. I had the same agent as Winnie the Pooh. Winnie. The. Pooh. EMERGAHD!
Then she took care of everything and it was so awesome. Curtis Brown works with ICM in the US and Stephanie asked Lyndsay Hemphill if she’d like to represent me there. And then she said yes! I couldn’t believe it! It was like all my dreams had come true at once. Stephanie and Lyndsay worked away behind the scenes and Pub 4 offered. It was so hard to make a decision between the three offers, but in the end, Georgia was super duper nice and also passionate about the book from the beginning and we all agreed Swoon Romance was the best place for THE ACCIDENTAL SOCIALITE in North America.
It was fitting that when I got the email from Stephanie and Lyndsay about a final decision I happened to be walking down Kings Road in London past the road my first flat share was on. I stopped right there and wrote back accepting the offer from Swoon Romance and then went to meet one of my best friends who was visiting from South Africa (and the best friend character in my book is loosely based on her). We had a glass of champagne and sitting there with her and with all the news, I welled up. This was my real life now, not just the daydream I’d been having for years!
9. Do you have anything to say to the herds of writers out there? Any advice?
DO NOT GIVE UP! I know everyone says that but literally the week before all of this started I was crying to my boyfriend about how much of a failure I was and told him I was quitting. I kept feeling like I was kind of good, but would never be good enough to be published and it was soul crushing. He made me promise to wait for five more rejections before I packed it in. I did and it worked out. But in the end, it just takes one person to be passionate about your work. Writers need to have balls of steel because there is no other job (except for TV… I work in children’s television and there is a lot of rejection there too, trust me.) where you work for so long on something and bare your soul like this only to get rejected constantly. Support each other and really take in comments and criticisms. Some of them won’t be right for you, but if I had ignored the comments in Query Kombat, I definitely wouldn’t be writing this interview right now.
Woo! Congrats, Stephanie!!! Loved your story, and all our good wishes are with you.
Growing up in Edmonton, Canada, a significant amount of my time was spent making up and acting out stories. I graduated from the University of Alberta with an English and Sociology degree and I also have a Bachelor of Motion Picture Arts (that’s a fancy term for Film School) from Red Deer College. After a fateful trip to Mexico in 2006 I decided to move to New York City to work in film development. A year later I went back home to write My Green House, a factual TV series. I moved to London in 2008 and aside from being obsessed with Eggs Benedict, Fruit Roll Ups and travelling, I also work in Children’s Television. The Accidental Socialite is my first novel.You can find her on Twitter over here, and on her website over here! (Seriously. Go find her. And follow her (in a non-stalker way).)
August 15, 2013
Query Questions with Pooja Menon
Writers have copious amounts of imagination. It's what makes their stories so fantastic. But there's a darker side to so much out of the box thinking. When a writer is in the query trenches, their worries go into overdrive. They start pulling out their hair and imagine every possible disaster.
Here to relieve some of that endless worrying is a new series of posts called Query Questions. I'll ask the questions which prey on every writer's mind, and hopefully take some of the pain out of querying. These are questions that I've seen tossed around on twitter and writing sites like Agent Query Connect. They are the type of questions that you need answers for the real expert--agents!
If you have your own specific query question, please leave it in the comments and it might show up in future editions of Query Questions as I plan to rotate the questions.
Today's terrific agent is Pooja Menon of Kimberley Cameron and Associates. Thanks for visiting with us today, Pooja!
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Pooja Menon joined Kimberley Cameron & Associates as an intern in the fall of 2011, with the aim of immersing herself in the elusive world of books and publishing. She soon realized that being an agent was what she was most drawn to as the job was varied and challenging. She represents both fiction and non-fiction for Adult and YA markets.
Her passion for reading inspired her to acquire a BA in Literature and Media from England. Her love for writing then took her to Los Angeles where she pursued an M.F.A in Fiction from the Otis School of Art and Design.
As a new agent, Pooja is looking to build her client list and is eager for submissions by debut novelists and veteran writers. She's looking for writing that has an easy flow and a timely pacing, along with a unique perspective and a strong voice.
In fiction, she is interested in literary, historical, commercial, and high-end women's fiction. However, she's most drawn to stories with an international flavor, vibrant characters, multi-cultural themes, and lush settings.
In fantasy, she's looking for original, layered plots with worlds as real and alive as the ones that were created by J.K Rowling and Tolkien.
In non-fiction, she's looking for adventure & travel memoirs, journalism & human-interest stories, and self-help books addressing relationships and the human psychology from a fresh perspective.
In YA, she's looking for stories that deal with the prevalent issues that face teenagers today. She is also interested in fantasy, magical-realism, and historical fiction.
Here to relieve some of that endless worrying is a new series of posts called Query Questions. I'll ask the questions which prey on every writer's mind, and hopefully take some of the pain out of querying. These are questions that I've seen tossed around on twitter and writing sites like Agent Query Connect. They are the type of questions that you need answers for the real expert--agents!
If you have your own specific query question, please leave it in the comments and it might show up in future editions of Query Questions as I plan to rotate the questions.
Today's terrific agent is Pooja Menon of Kimberley Cameron and Associates. Thanks for visiting with us today, Pooja!
1) There isn't any particular time as such. Agents are looking for great manuscripts all the time. In most cases, if an agent is going to be out of town or on vacation, they usually close their inboxes for the duration of their trip. However, I would advice authors to be patient with regards to response time. Agents get overloaded with submissions every week and it's quite possible to fall back on reading, no matter how fast we try. This is particularly possible during the summer or other holiday seasons/times. So give us two months at least before writing and checking in.
Is there a particular time of year that is better to query?
Does one typo or misplaced comma shoot down the entire query?2) No. But misplaced commas and typos (more than one) would make me wary. I would rather see a thoroughly polished and revised manuscript than a first draft, and too many typos or mistakes could indicate to me that the author hasn't gone through the MS enough or revised it enough.
3) Only if the query is strong. Sometimes, if the query has potential but hasn't been written as well as it could have been, I will look at the first few pages.
Do you look at sample pages without fail or only if the query is strong?
4) I can only speak for myself, but crazy fonts tend to be distracting for me and some fonts in particular can be really annoying. Even fonts in different colors can be itchy for the eyes. In my opinion, Times Roman is the best font to use and the color black is just right.
Do crazy fonts caused by email gremlins make for an automatic rejection?
5) I think a traditional query letter has the first few lines introducing the name, word count and genre of the manuscript, along with comp titles, the second paragraph would be the pitch, and the last paragraph would give us some personal information about the author. I would prefer this same format, and in the personal information, I would prefer to know more about the author in terms of her writing credentials, education, and publishing credentials, etc. A line about the author (place, profession, etc) is fine too. But the query letter as a whole has to be really concise, so only add what is important.
Do you prefer a little personalized chit-chat in a query letter, or would you rather hear about the manuscript?
6) I prefer it at the beginning of the query letter so I know what I'm getting into before I read the pitch.
Does it matter whether the word count/genre information is first or last in a query?
7) No bias. Now, if a self-published author is querying her self-published book, then this is a different ball game. I would be interested if the book has documented sales that are on a large scale and is on a bestseller list (or two) of some sort (Nook best seller list, B&N list, etc). For eg: Selling 30,000 copies in two weeks on Amazon/Smashwords/etc, then my interest would perk up. But a book that has poor sales, since it's already been published and hasn't done well, this makes it harder to take on and sell to editors.
Is there a bias against querying authors who have self-published other books?
8) Well, I go through queries based on interest first. If something really interests me, then I transfer them to a box labeled 'read first'. If something interests me but on a more toned down level, then that goes into a box titled 'read second'. Every agent works differently, but this is how I work. Now getting through submissions can be tough if I'm reading queries I'm interested in, or if I'm editing submissions I'm planning on signing on, because that can be time consuming. Basically, I try to look at the pitches as and when they come in and then arrange them according to my interest level.
Do you go through a large group of queries at a time or hold yourself to a few?
9) I receive anywhere between 200-500 submissions every week. Sometimes it's on the lower end of the spectrum, sometimes on the higher end. Out of which I might find many interesting based on the pitch, but the number keeps reducing drastically as and when I read more pages. If a manuscript keeps me hooked until the last page, I'm intrigued. But this happens 1%-2% of the time.
How many queries do you receive in a week? How many requests might you make out of those?
10) If I really loved a premise and the pages fell apart, or if I really loved a project but couldn't sign it for some reason, then I try and give as much feedback as possible. Sometimes I even ask to see their project again once it's revised. If it's a rejection for a project that I could not connect with from the beginning, then I'll send a form rejection. I wish I could give feedback to everyone, but time is always a problem.
Have you form rejected great projects you think could be accepted elsewhere or do you try to give some feedback?
11) No. To be honest, good writing is first and foremost. If the writing blows me away, then I am willing to work with the writer to help her build a platform. It's important for a writer to have some kind of a social platform today, be it blogs or Tumbler or Facebook or Twitter. Mainly because it's a place where they can network and connect with other writers, participate in pitchfests (possible place to catch an agent's eye), and build a following. This following or network of friends/writers can be a great place to look at when they're looking for good critique partners who write in the same genre as they do. It can also help when they are trying to spread the word about their projects, or help when their book is coming out soon and they want to organize blog tours. There are a lot of perks to being active. Moreover, writing does not have to be isolated. If you find the right kind of friends online who GET your project the way no others can, this can be very motivational and help keep your spirits up. However, if a project is a non-fiction project, then I think a platform is mandatory. And the platform has to be strong, and has to revolve in some kind of way to what the author has written about. But this is a whole different ball game of rules and before non-fiction writers go out there to find an agent, this is something they need to work on.
Many agents say they don’t care if writers are active online. Could an active/known online presence by an author tip the scales in getting a request or offer?
12) Just didn't connect enough: this could mean that the voice of the character was too snarky, sarcastic or superficial for me to really relate to her/him and want to follow him/her through the whole story. Or it could be that the writing wasn't sharp enough (didn't have enough attention to details and settings, lack of strong dialogue that has the ability to say a lot but hold back enough so we can try and read between the lines, etc). It could also mean the story was just not my cup of tea. Or it was something I saw done before but better. Or it could mean the pacing was all over the place so I felt it was too fast/slow and therefore I had a hard time feeling what the character was feeling and experiencing.
What does ‘just didn’t connect enough’ mean to you?
13) To be honest, I'm going to go a little wide on this. I think one thing I've seen a lot lately is the lack of originality of plot. Most of the Sci-Fi and Fantasy submissions that come into my inbox sounds pretty much the same, with the characters either going to be kidnapped by an organization that wants to use them for some reason or another, and once kidnapped, they find an ally that will help them escape, and usually this ally is someone who's extremely good looking but they can't stand, and eventually they fall in love and the organization catches up to them. In fantasy, it has to do with a prince or princess who has to save their kingdom- either they get usurped from their throne or they have to escape to avoid some catastrophe... I know every plot has been tried before, but the way that time-told plot can be spun can definitely be different and fresh (Think CINDER). I definitely want to see a lot more contemporary that is raw and emotional and with some humor in it. I would also love to see more fantasy that has a fresh angle that I can sink my teeth into.
What themes are you sick of seeing?
14) Strangest...hmm... I wouldn't say this is all that funny, but sometimes people send me long (and I do mean long) queries where their manuscript defies the normal word count, and they make it very clear to me that all their relatives and friends love their book, so I must love it too, and they compare it to works of legends or writers who no longer exist, rather than choosing more realistic options, and if I send them a letter saying I don't look at manuscripts that are above a 100,000 word count, or that the pitch email was so long I couldn't find a pitch, or just that their story has some issues with it, they get really angry and defensive and lament how they wish they didn't have to deal with 'our kind'. Again, I don't think this is funny. But I do think writers need to realize that we work super hard for our jobs because we love what we do and we love good stories. And we would never pass up on truly strong and well-revised/written projects. But this is a profession, so writers do need to be professional, which means they need to follow the traditional rules of submission and word count, and if they do get a rejection, instead of getting angry, they need to reevaluate why they got so many rejections. Perhaps the book isn't original enough? Perhaps it requires more revisions? Perhaps getting it critiqued or professionally edited might be a good idea? Perhaps the book isn't right for the market? Agents are only as successful as our authors are. So, truly, we're not trying to be horrid or spirit-crushing. And most importantly, we get rejected too (by editors, by authors with other offers, etc). So we do know how you feel. I think the sheer number of emails that are carelessly submitted is the strange thing for me, considering how there are so many blog posts and advice guidelines on agency websites that state the rules clearly.
What’s the strangest/funniest thing you’ve seen in a query?
15) My wishlist :) Ah, this is hard. One: A strong multicultural story set in the US, dealing with cultural themes that bring up questions of identity and what it means to be a teenager while trying to fit both these different sides of her personality and life together, etc. With a dash of romance, of course. Two: A strong contemporary story that deals with serious issues (think John Green), but has a dark, humorous tone to the voice. Of course, I don't mean this has to necessarily mean dealing with a serious health affliction. It could be anything that would turn a young girl or boy's life upside down. Three: A have a strong love for Fantasy (Contemporary or otherwise- think Daughter of Smoke and Bones or Shadow and Bone or The Mortal Instrument Series). Something fresh, dark and allows me to escape into a new world with different challenges. These would be among by top three. I'm going to throw in a Fourth too, an adventure/thriller manuscript along the line of Indiana Jones, but with a young protagonist. I LOVE stories that have hidden treasures or dangerous curses (think some far flung myth or legend that hasn't been used over and over , along with a dash of historical information to back said myth/legend) and are set in locations that are exotic and shady at the same time.
What three things are at the top of your submission wish list?
16) Another dangerous question! I have a wide range of books that are my favorites. In YA, in the last year, I've read and loved the Mortal Instruments Series, Daughter of Smoke & Bone series, Shadow and Bone, Out of the Easy, Grave Mercy, Anna Dressed In Blood, Stormdancers, Fault In Our Stars, Hate List, 13 Reasons Why, Speak, Cinder...I could go on. But these are books that I like to read again and again. Of course, Harry Potter will always be my prime favorite, along with Philip Pullman's Dark Materials Trilogy, another all time favorite of mine. My tastes are all other the place, to be honest, but what I'm searching for is that voice that's going to hook me into the story by page one, and a story that's going to keep me turning pages. And in the case of Fantasy, etc- setting is important to me, to feel like I'm in a different world (even if it is Contemporary fantasy).
What are some of your favorite movies or books to give us an idea of your tastes?
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Pooja Menon joined Kimberley Cameron & Associates as an intern in the fall of 2011, with the aim of immersing herself in the elusive world of books and publishing. She soon realized that being an agent was what she was most drawn to as the job was varied and challenging. She represents both fiction and non-fiction for Adult and YA markets.
Her passion for reading inspired her to acquire a BA in Literature and Media from England. Her love for writing then took her to Los Angeles where she pursued an M.F.A in Fiction from the Otis School of Art and Design.
As a new agent, Pooja is looking to build her client list and is eager for submissions by debut novelists and veteran writers. She's looking for writing that has an easy flow and a timely pacing, along with a unique perspective and a strong voice.
In fiction, she is interested in literary, historical, commercial, and high-end women's fiction. However, she's most drawn to stories with an international flavor, vibrant characters, multi-cultural themes, and lush settings.
In fantasy, she's looking for original, layered plots with worlds as real and alive as the ones that were created by J.K Rowling and Tolkien.
In non-fiction, she's looking for adventure & travel memoirs, journalism & human-interest stories, and self-help books addressing relationships and the human psychology from a fresh perspective.
In YA, she's looking for stories that deal with the prevalent issues that face teenagers today. She is also interested in fantasy, magical-realism, and historical fiction.
August 14, 2013
Main Character Pictures
Anyone else get a picture of their main character in their heads even before they start writing? The beautiful cover model for Kindar's Cure wasn't exactly what I pictured, but she was pretty close. Then somehow, over time, she went from being close to becoming the picture in my mind.
Joni Pope sent me this picture through twitter. Thanks, Joni. It means a lot that you would take the time.
August 13, 2013
Query Questions with Elena Giovinazzo
Writers have copious amounts of imagination. It's what makes their stories so fantastic. But there's a darker side to so much out of the box thinking. When a writer is in the query trenches, their worries go into overdrive. They start pulling out their hair and imagine every possible disaster.
Here to relieve some of that endless worrying is a new series of posts called Query Questions. I'll ask the questions which prey on every writer's mind, and hopefully take some of the pain out of querying. These are questions that I've seen tossed around on twitter and writing sites like Agent Query Connect. They are the type of questions that you need answers for the real expert--agents!
If you have your own specific query question, please leave it in the comments and it might show up in future editions of Query Questions as I plan to rotate the questions.
A big thanks to Elena Giovinazzo of the Pippin Properties for her kindness in responding. (Totally off topic, but my dog's name is Pippin so I feel a kinship with this terrific agency.)
I hear publishing shuts down in August. Does that make it a bad time to query?
I wouldn't say that's true at all! I know plenty of people who will be working right on through the month, including me! And in fact, while it is true that things are a bit quieter, this actually leaves more reading, consideration time since there's not as much negotiation and contract reading happening.
Does one typo or misplaced comma shoot down the entire query?
Heck, no! Definitely reread your query for any major mistakes, but we're all guilty of grammatical, punctuation and silly typo errors. I know I am. What will cause me to shoot down an query is one that's clearly been thrown together without much forethought. And believe me, we get lots of those.
Do you look at sample pages without fail or only if the query is strong ?
Only if the query piques my interest, really. If the query is for a super high-fantasy YA or something else that I am pretty sure I just won't be that into, then I won't proceed to the sample pages. And if the query is poorly written I certainly won't waste my time with the sample pages.
Do crazy fonts caused by email gremlins make for an automatic rejection?
Nope! I understand how nasty those email gremlins can be. Keeping your query as simple as possible also helps with this problem. Highly formatted manuscripts might be best as an attachment, and you can explain that in your query letter.
Do you prefer a little personalized chit-chat in a query letter, or would you rather hear about the manuscript?
I think you have to use your best judgement here and play to your strengths If you're good at the chit chat, go for it. If you think it might come off sounding awkward (which it often can) then don't bother. What're more important that a cute, friendly opening is showing that you're querying me for a reason, that you're familiar with who I am and what I do.
Does it matter whether the word count/genre information is first or last in a query?
Nope! A well written query will find its own rhythm and the placements of those bits of information aren't important. If you're a good writer, then as nerve-wracking as the query process may be, you should be able to pull together a decent letter.
Is a too high or too small word count a cause for rejection?
Nope! If it's on the lower side, as long as you've said what needed to be said then more power to you for being succinct And there's nothing wrong with a 500 page novel, as long as every single one of those pages are needed to sufficiently tell the story.
Is there a bias against querying authors who have self-published other books?
In the case of someone who has previously self published, I don't know that I have a bias against them but I am often curious to hear why they decided to go that route. And there are plenty of totally reasonable explanations. So no, no bias.
How many queries do you receive in a week? How many requests might you make out of those?
SO many. It's been a busy morning for queries, but I'd say that just today (it's now 1:30pm) about 10 have come in so far. I'd say we average 50 to 75 a week and of those I probably request material on one, two at the very most. There are often weeks where I don't come across anything I feel inspired to request. But then all of a sudden I'll request three things in one day!
If you think a project has potential elsewhere, do you try to give some feedback?
I don't often provide directed editorial feedback in my rejections unless there's something that seems like an obvious or easily explained fix that I feel very strongly about.
Many agents say they don’t care if writers are active online. Could an active/known online presence by an author tip the scales in getting a request or offer?
It hasn't ever changed the landscape for me. It's fun to visit an author's blog that gives me a better insight into who they are as an author and person. I suppose I could be (though haven't been) turned off a blog in the same way, though. I think you just have to do what works for you. If you've got the voice and subject matter for a great blog, go for it. If not, then don't! I'll also say that I personally wouldn't look until I had started reading the material itself, because otherwise, it's a moot point.
What does ‘just didn’t connect enough’ mean to you?
It usually means just that. It just wasn't right for me. Maybe the plot was great but the characters were dull, or I just couldn't stand the voice, or one of the other millions of reasons a book just isn't right for this particular reader.
What themes are you sick of seeing?
The hottest guy in school who falls for the girl who doesn't realize she's beautiful. Yeah, right. Give me something interesting to work with, people!
What’s the strangest/funniest thing you’ve seen in a query?
The guy who queried our agency and told us that we had the "kindest looking eyes in all of publishing." Weird.
What three things are at the top of your submission wish list?
1. Contemporary middle grade and YA fiction featuring REAL characters.
2. Middle grade that feels like it's going to tear my heart apart before it get's put back together.
3. A fresh new picture book voice
What are some of your favorite movies or books to give us an idea of your tastes?
I'd love to acquire projects that left me feeling the way The Goonies does - like I can do anything! Or The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe, as if magic is JUST around the corner, if only I can find the right corner.
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Elena Giovinazzo joined the team in June of 2009. Having begun her publishing career in
subsidiary rights, moving on to children’s book marketing with a stint in audio, she realized that a position in agenting would enable her to continue to be involved in the many aspects of publishing about which she is so passionate from one place. She is thrilled to be pursuing her love of children’s literature and the industry from her seat at Pippin and especially enjoys the treasure hunt that is sorting through the daily query emails.
Here to relieve some of that endless worrying is a new series of posts called Query Questions. I'll ask the questions which prey on every writer's mind, and hopefully take some of the pain out of querying. These are questions that I've seen tossed around on twitter and writing sites like Agent Query Connect. They are the type of questions that you need answers for the real expert--agents!
If you have your own specific query question, please leave it in the comments and it might show up in future editions of Query Questions as I plan to rotate the questions.
A big thanks to Elena Giovinazzo of the Pippin Properties for her kindness in responding. (Totally off topic, but my dog's name is Pippin so I feel a kinship with this terrific agency.)
I hear publishing shuts down in August. Does that make it a bad time to query?
I wouldn't say that's true at all! I know plenty of people who will be working right on through the month, including me! And in fact, while it is true that things are a bit quieter, this actually leaves more reading, consideration time since there's not as much negotiation and contract reading happening.
Does one typo or misplaced comma shoot down the entire query?
Heck, no! Definitely reread your query for any major mistakes, but we're all guilty of grammatical, punctuation and silly typo errors. I know I am. What will cause me to shoot down an query is one that's clearly been thrown together without much forethought. And believe me, we get lots of those.
Do you look at sample pages without fail or only if the query is strong ?
Only if the query piques my interest, really. If the query is for a super high-fantasy YA or something else that I am pretty sure I just won't be that into, then I won't proceed to the sample pages. And if the query is poorly written I certainly won't waste my time with the sample pages.
Do crazy fonts caused by email gremlins make for an automatic rejection?
Nope! I understand how nasty those email gremlins can be. Keeping your query as simple as possible also helps with this problem. Highly formatted manuscripts might be best as an attachment, and you can explain that in your query letter.
Do you prefer a little personalized chit-chat in a query letter, or would you rather hear about the manuscript?
I think you have to use your best judgement here and play to your strengths If you're good at the chit chat, go for it. If you think it might come off sounding awkward (which it often can) then don't bother. What're more important that a cute, friendly opening is showing that you're querying me for a reason, that you're familiar with who I am and what I do.
Does it matter whether the word count/genre information is first or last in a query?
Nope! A well written query will find its own rhythm and the placements of those bits of information aren't important. If you're a good writer, then as nerve-wracking as the query process may be, you should be able to pull together a decent letter.
Is a too high or too small word count a cause for rejection?
Nope! If it's on the lower side, as long as you've said what needed to be said then more power to you for being succinct And there's nothing wrong with a 500 page novel, as long as every single one of those pages are needed to sufficiently tell the story.
Is there a bias against querying authors who have self-published other books?
In the case of someone who has previously self published, I don't know that I have a bias against them but I am often curious to hear why they decided to go that route. And there are plenty of totally reasonable explanations. So no, no bias.
How many queries do you receive in a week? How many requests might you make out of those?
SO many. It's been a busy morning for queries, but I'd say that just today (it's now 1:30pm) about 10 have come in so far. I'd say we average 50 to 75 a week and of those I probably request material on one, two at the very most. There are often weeks where I don't come across anything I feel inspired to request. But then all of a sudden I'll request three things in one day!
If you think a project has potential elsewhere, do you try to give some feedback?
I don't often provide directed editorial feedback in my rejections unless there's something that seems like an obvious or easily explained fix that I feel very strongly about.
Many agents say they don’t care if writers are active online. Could an active/known online presence by an author tip the scales in getting a request or offer?
It hasn't ever changed the landscape for me. It's fun to visit an author's blog that gives me a better insight into who they are as an author and person. I suppose I could be (though haven't been) turned off a blog in the same way, though. I think you just have to do what works for you. If you've got the voice and subject matter for a great blog, go for it. If not, then don't! I'll also say that I personally wouldn't look until I had started reading the material itself, because otherwise, it's a moot point.
What does ‘just didn’t connect enough’ mean to you?
It usually means just that. It just wasn't right for me. Maybe the plot was great but the characters were dull, or I just couldn't stand the voice, or one of the other millions of reasons a book just isn't right for this particular reader.
What themes are you sick of seeing?
The hottest guy in school who falls for the girl who doesn't realize she's beautiful. Yeah, right. Give me something interesting to work with, people!
What’s the strangest/funniest thing you’ve seen in a query?
The guy who queried our agency and told us that we had the "kindest looking eyes in all of publishing." Weird.
What three things are at the top of your submission wish list?
1. Contemporary middle grade and YA fiction featuring REAL characters.
2. Middle grade that feels like it's going to tear my heart apart before it get's put back together.
3. A fresh new picture book voice
What are some of your favorite movies or books to give us an idea of your tastes?
I'd love to acquire projects that left me feeling the way The Goonies does - like I can do anything! Or The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe, as if magic is JUST around the corner, if only I can find the right corner.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Elena Giovinazzo joined the team in June of 2009. Having begun her publishing career in
subsidiary rights, moving on to children’s book marketing with a stint in audio, she realized that a position in agenting would enable her to continue to be involved in the many aspects of publishing about which she is so passionate from one place. She is thrilled to be pursuing her love of children’s literature and the industry from her seat at Pippin and especially enjoys the treasure hunt that is sorting through the daily query emails.
August 12, 2013
Cover Reveal for KIN SEEKER
I'm so happy to be part of the cover reveal for KIN SEEKER the first release from Naomi Eccles-Smith. This is a book for everyone who still believes in the beauty of unicorns and the bravery of dragons. KIN SEEKER is available now for pre-order!
Book Blurb:
As the last dragon, Laeka’Draeon holds the key to finding his missing kin and restoring the magical barriers of the towers of Klonnoth Aire. The problem is he has no memory of his past, or what happened the fateful day the dragons disappeared and the towers fell silent.
With the surrounding kingdoms in disarray, and strange terrors spreading across the lands, Laeka’Draeon has no choice but to take action. If the barriers of Klonnoth Aire are not restored, the consequences could bring about the return of an ancient and devastating enemy.
Finding aid in the unlikeliest of allies, including a spirited unicorn filly, a colossal forest guardian, and an eerie-eyed phantom, Laeka’Draeon braves unknown and often dangerous realms in search of answers, and quickly finds himself swept up in an adventure far bigger than he could have ever imagined.
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Author Bio:
Naomi confesses the best word to describe her is: whimsical. Forget “the girl next door” and think more along the lines of “the girl from the next galaxy over” and you’d be closer to the correct personality categorization. She is an unequivocal day-dreamer, anime enthusiast, partisan of fantastical things, and unshakable devotee to story-telling.
In addition to writing, Naomi sings, draws, reads, plays console games, does the occasional concept art commissions, and works with rescued animals. Her love for absorbing fabulous, unforgettable stories is only out-shined by her love for creating her own.
Currently, she lives with her equally peculiar sister, two wild but wonderful nephews, cheeky little niece, her adorable, fun-loving cats, Kyo and Yuki, and blessedly tolerant housemate on the Gold Coast, Australia.
Link to website: http://dragoncalling.wordpress.com/
Link to Facebook Page: https://www.facebook.com/pages/Dragon-Calling/1403886873156200
Link to Goodreads: https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/18271993-kin-seeker
Link to Smashwords: https://www.smashwords.com/books/view/342932
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Book Blurb:
As the last dragon, Laeka’Draeon holds the key to finding his missing kin and restoring the magical barriers of the towers of Klonnoth Aire. The problem is he has no memory of his past, or what happened the fateful day the dragons disappeared and the towers fell silent.
With the surrounding kingdoms in disarray, and strange terrors spreading across the lands, Laeka’Draeon has no choice but to take action. If the barriers of Klonnoth Aire are not restored, the consequences could bring about the return of an ancient and devastating enemy.
Finding aid in the unlikeliest of allies, including a spirited unicorn filly, a colossal forest guardian, and an eerie-eyed phantom, Laeka’Draeon braves unknown and often dangerous realms in search of answers, and quickly finds himself swept up in an adventure far bigger than he could have ever imagined.
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Author Bio:
+(2).jpg)
Naomi confesses the best word to describe her is: whimsical. Forget “the girl next door” and think more along the lines of “the girl from the next galaxy over” and you’d be closer to the correct personality categorization. She is an unequivocal day-dreamer, anime enthusiast, partisan of fantastical things, and unshakable devotee to story-telling.In addition to writing, Naomi sings, draws, reads, plays console games, does the occasional concept art commissions, and works with rescued animals. Her love for absorbing fabulous, unforgettable stories is only out-shined by her love for creating her own.
Currently, she lives with her equally peculiar sister, two wild but wonderful nephews, cheeky little niece, her adorable, fun-loving cats, Kyo and Yuki, and blessedly tolerant housemate on the Gold Coast, Australia.
Link to website: http://dragoncalling.wordpress.com/
Link to Facebook Page: https://www.facebook.com/pages/Dragon-Calling/1403886873156200
Link to Goodreads: https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/18271993-kin-seeker
Link to Smashwords: https://www.smashwords.com/books/view/342932
August 10, 2013
WriteOnCon and Are you Being Googled?
In my Query Questions series with agents I ask a question about social media. Do agents check up on a writer's presence on social media and does it matter to them? (Thanks to Darke and the other person who suggested this question.) Well, Chuck Sambuchino asked a similar question of agents and got some interesting answers. It seems agents do Google writers, which of course means you need to be wise in what you do and say online. An active presence can be a very good thing.
In other news that should interest MG, YA, and NA writers, WriteOnCon starts Tuesday, August 13 and runs for two days. Not only are there many activities and contests for writers involving agents and experienced writers, but there is also a fantastic forum where you can mingle with other writers and get help with your query letter, first 250 words, and first five pages. Go check it out and send me a friend request when you get there.
In other news that should interest MG, YA, and NA writers, WriteOnCon starts Tuesday, August 13 and runs for two days. Not only are there many activities and contests for writers involving agents and experienced writers, but there is also a fantastic forum where you can mingle with other writers and get help with your query letter, first 250 words, and first five pages. Go check it out and send me a friend request when you get there.
August 9, 2013
Summer Query Extravaganza 22
Special treat today! Butterfly pictures! These were taken yesterday from my deck. I haven't seen a monarch yet this year, but we have lots of other kinds.
You know the drill. Contact me on twitter if you want your query showcased. Comment on the query before and after yours. All query critiques are subjective. And rabbits don't come out of my hat, but I'll do my best. Objects in mirror may be closer than they appear. Buy one and I'll throw in a set of free steak knives, just pay separate shipping and handling fees.Openings to have your query critiqued are dwindling. I'm shutting this segment down when I return to work as school starts. Get your request in now.
My kids call this hummingbird moth the 'funny bee.'As sent to me:
Dear Lovely Agent,
Nikki Evers assumed the crimes were random coincidences. Fires on campus. Convenient store robberies. Gang killings. Great stories for the school paper. But when her best friend Brycin disappears, presumed dead, and she gets a text that reads:
Nikki, I’m alive. Talk to Clay. He knows what’s going on. But be careful. They want you dead.
Nikki’s not sure what to do. Clay French is off limits. Not because he rides a motorcycle or has an amazing tattoo on his shoulder. His jealous girlfriend knows how to make life miserable for all those on her She-devil List, which she plasters on every school bulletin board if you’re caught even glancing in his direction. Heaven forbid you talk to him.
And then there’s her mother who begs her not to get tangled with the wrong crowd.
French boys are tagged as bad boys, but teaming up with Clay is the only way Nikki can find Brycin. When Nikki’s almost killed and Clay saves her life, she uncovers a dark secret that threatens to destroy everyone, including herself.
With the pressure from her overprotective father, the jealous girlfriend attacks, and her secret crush on Clay, finding Brycin's more difficult than she ever imagined.
I FOUND YOU is a YA Contemporary Suspense with inspirational elements.
Thank you for your time and consideration,
With my crazy comments:
Dear Lovely Agent, :-)
Nikki Evers assumed the crimes were random coincidences. Fires on campus. Convenient Convenience? store robberies. Gang killings. Great stories for the school paper. This makes me think she works for the paper, which doesn't seem to be true based on the rest of the query. But when her best friend Brycin disappears, presumed dead, and she gets a text that reads:
Nikki, I’m alive. Talk to Clay. He knows what’s going on. But be careful. They want you dead. I would assume this is like using a quote from your book in your query. In other words, a no-no. Try summing it up instead. But when her best friend disappears, presumed dead by the cops, a text arrives from her dead friend directing her to watch out for herself and speak to Clay. Also since you use 'but' maybe try something else. Great stories for the school paper, but nothing to do with her. Then her best friend disappears, presumed dead by the cops. New paragraph. She gets a text from her not so dead friend with a warning and a plea for help. The text points her to Clay.
Nikki’s not sure what to do. I think not know what to do is implied. Maybe cut it. Clay French is off limits. Not because he rides a motorcycle or has an amazing tattoo on his shoulder. His jealous girlfriend knows how to make life miserable for all those on her She-devil List, which she plasters on every school bulletin board I'm not sure this detail is the heart of the story. if you’re caught even glancing in his direction. Heaven forbid you talk to him. I'd probably cut this sentence too and focus on the mystery instead of the jealous girlfriend.
And then there’s her Nikki's mother, who begs her not to get tangled with the wrong crowd. Move this up to the above paragraph. And consider adding an adjective to describe the mother. overbearing? overprotective?
French boys are tagged as bad boys, but teaming up with Clay is the only way Nikki can find Brycin her best friend. Keep the names down to two. Wouldn't she assume Clay is a suspect, not a team member? When Nikki’s almost killed and Clay saves her life, she uncovers a dark secret that threatens to destroy everyone, including herself. I think you need to focus more on the secret and less on the girlfriend. I don't have any clue what this means. It's just too generic. The query isn't focusing on the heart of the story yet, because if Clay is not the suspect, then we've heard nothing about the true culprit.
With the pressure from her overprotective father Let's leave dad out. I think Mom is enough. , the jealous girlfriend attacks, and her secret crush on Clay, finding Brycin's her best friend is more difficult than she ever imagined. To me this doesn't sum up the stakes very well. Those are the small obstacles in her way. What will happen if she fails? I assume her friend will die. I see the query as a miniature story that moves along with each paragraph. First paragraph is set up and hook. Second paragraph clears up what is happening. Third paragraph should take us deeper into the story. The heart of the problem. It seems like this query is stuck at the second position.
I FOUND YOU is a YA Contemporary Suspense with inspirational elements. Leaving out the word count makes it look like you have something to hide. Or perhaps this is a WIP. Be sure to add the word count before sending to agents.
Thank you for your time and consideration,
A two for one. Anyone have any idea what this one is called?If Clay is not the suspect then I'd suggest you dig deeper into the heart of this mystery and give us more specific details. Who is really preventing Nikki from finding her friend? What will happen if she fails, both to herself and her friend?
I'd also suggest leaving Clay a suspect in the query until he saves her life.
You mention other crimes in the first paragraph, and that they are not random. I'd bring that back in for the ending sum up. Give us an idea of how these tie together. Sounds like it could be a mob connection of some sort and that would be interesting.
August 8, 2013
Winners of The Agent Greeting Contest
I had a blast with this contest. It was fun and easy and didn't hurt anyone's feelings as the winners were all chosen randomly. I even matched the agents names randomly to be completely fair.
The winners can contact me via twitter or use my email which is located in the contact box on the side panel to collect their prizes. Thanks to everyone who entered, and I hope to have another contest soon.
First pick and winner of a query critique from Sarah Negovetich of Corvisiero Literary is...
Heather Lynn Davis
Second pick and winner of a query critique from Danielle Smith of Foreward Literary is...
Amanda Leigh
Third pick and the winner of a query critique from Jordy Albert of The Booker Albert Literary Agency is...
Karen deBlieck
Fourth pick and winner of a query critique from Tamar Rydzinski of The Laura Dial Literary Agency is...
Kimberly Kay
Fifth pick and winner of a query critique from Michelle Johnson of Inklings Literary Agency is...
Fiction Writer
Runner Up and winner of a copy of Summer's Double Edge or Kindar's Cure is...
Lyndsay Ely
The winners can contact me via twitter or use my email which is located in the contact box on the side panel to collect their prizes. Thanks to everyone who entered, and I hope to have another contest soon.
First pick and winner of a query critique from Sarah Negovetich of Corvisiero Literary is...
Heather Lynn Davis
Second pick and winner of a query critique from Danielle Smith of Foreward Literary is...
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Amanda Leigh
Third pick and the winner of a query critique from Jordy Albert of The Booker Albert Literary Agency is...
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Karen deBlieck
Fourth pick and winner of a query critique from Tamar Rydzinski of The Laura Dial Literary Agency is...
Kimberly Kay
Fifth pick and winner of a query critique from Michelle Johnson of Inklings Literary Agency is...
Fiction Writer
Runner Up and winner of a copy of Summer's Double Edge or Kindar's Cure is...
Lyndsay Ely
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