David S. Atkinson's Blog, page 220

Being Taught Phrases I Will Never Need

I’ve mentioned before that my office building has little electronic screens that provide news and various other little snippets. One thing that shows up from time to time is how to say various phrases in other languages. Today I was taught how to say the following phrase in Germany and Brazil:

Where can I go to jog?

I cannot think of a phrase I am less likely to ever need.

Seriously, I used to work out all the time. However, that is a thing of the past. I don’t need to know where I can go jogging at home, much less while on vacation. I don’t jog.

As such, I don’t need to know how to say this in English, much less in German or Portuguese. If I am ever in Germany or Brazil, there are an almost infinite number of phrases I’ll need to know how to say before I need: Where can I go to jog?

Of course, it’s not likely that I’ll be able to remember how to say something that was flashed briefly across an electronic screen anyway. The entire idea of learning language phrases that way is probably flawed.

The Mobile Goodreads App Still Leaves Something To Be Desired

I do have to admit that the Goodreads mobile app has come a long way in the last few years. The ability to scan bar codes to enter books makes my life a lot easier. I’ve been reading 200-300 books per year for the past few years so scanning as opposed to having to enter ISBNs or titles is helpful. Still, there are a few things that still burn me about the app.

The prime example of what I’m thinking of is the apparent lack of the ability to switch editions on the mobile app. Things work great when I can scan a book, but when the barcode is too old and I have to search manually, I often don’t get the exact edition I’m looking for. Some times this can be the different of several hundred pages. To have the year to date page count Goodreads keeps for me accurate, I do try to make sure I have the right edition listed for what I’m reading. However, on the mobile app I usually only get the choice of one edition. If it’s the wrong one, I have to leave the mobile app and sign into the full version through a full web browser (yes, I can do this from the one on my phone) and switch the edition to the correct one.

This is annoying, particularly when I hit 50 cent book day at Goodwill, as I often do, and have 5-20 books to enter, many of which are old enough that their barcodes won’t scan right.

For the most part, the mobile app is pretty decent. I’ve just noticed this one annoying feature. I don’t know, maybe you can fix this without leaving the mobile app and I don’t know how. I just wish it was as easy as on the normal site.

My 20-Year High School Reunion: Corrected Correction

I’ve been trying to post about my 20-year high school reunion this week, but I’ve screwed it up twice. First I was getting things confused with Grosse Pointe Blank. Then I was confusing things with Romy and Michele’s High School Reunion. I’ve got it right now, though:

Go Eagles!

Too bad the reunion is over now. Oh well, time to go home.

My 20-Year High School Reunion: Correction

I tried to post yesterday about how I was in my old high school town for my 20-year high school reunion. Unfortunately, it appears I was confusing high school with Grosse Pointe Blank. I figured I should correct that.

After all, I really am looking forward to seeing people again. I need to get forgiveness from Heather Mooney for all the bad stuff I did to her in high school, as well as get revenge on Christy Masters and the rest of the popular crowd. Sandy Frink might even be there and we can reconnect so he can loan me money to open an upscale fashion boutique.

Crap! Now I’m thinking of Romy and Michele’s High School Reunion. That wasn’t me either.

Am I even in the right town?

My 20-Year High School Reunion

Well, I’m back in my high school town again. It’s the weekend of my 20-year high school reunion. Where does the time go?

Still, I’m looking forward to seeing people again. It’ll be good to have a chance to explain to Debi Newberry why I disappeared all those years ago. It’ll be good to see Paul Spericki again too. Heck, I even kind of miss Bob Destepello. I might let him read me some of his poetry.

It’s just been so long. I can’t wait to see them all again.

Wait…I might be thinking of Grosse Pointe Blank. Where did I go to high school again?

Why I Never Became A Magician

One of the things I wanted to be when I was a kid was a magician. Doesn’t every kid? I have a cousin who is a great professional magician and that fueled things. I got magic kits and various tricks and tried to learn, though I only pursued it so far. I never really studied it serious enough to get good…because I learned something.

What I learned, and I think a lot of people learn this (hence why we don’t have more magicians), was that I didn’t really want to BE a magician. I just wanted to watch magic acts.

There’s a big difference.

After all, being a magician is cool…but the coolest part to me is getting to watch the magic act. If you’re the magician, you don’t get to watch. Even if you watch other magicians, you probably focus on the technique…presuming you don’t already know how a trick is done. That just seems like it’d spoil the fun of getting to watch a magic act.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m sure being a magician is cool too. My cousin is a great magician. I always loved getting to watch his act. I just figured out relatively early on that it was going to be more fun for me to be able to watch his act than to be able to perform it.

I’m Not Even Going To Comment On This

I know I like to talk on here about weird stuff that people out there do, but I’m just not going to comment on this article I ran across at all. It’s just too easy. I’m not doing it.

I won’t be questioning her sanity. I won’t be questioning what this kind of thing means for our civilization. I won’t even be making any Total Recall jokes.

It’s just too easy. There isn’t any fun in it any more. I don’t think anything that can be said can possibly be more ludicrous than what is in the article itself.

Note, I will be deliberately ignoring anyone who suggests that I am commenting on this in my refusal to make a comment and that if I really didn’t want to comment I should have said nothing at all. Those people are rude.

Besides, it’s apparently a hoax anyway.

German Lessons Just Sound Wrong

My wife has been brushing up on her German recently using some kind of software where they read her a phrase in German and she has to translate it into English. That’s all fine and good, but some of their phrases translate into some odd things. Example: “Your cow is pretty.”

Now, I don’t know about you, but this phrase sounds really, really wrong to me. Just think of Cletus from The Simpsons reading this in his best Deliverance kind of way:

“Your cow is pretty.”

Isn’t this wrong?

Maybe I have a dirty mind, but this just sounds really wrong to me. Many of the phrases my wife is translating come across like this. At the very least, I can’t figure out how these phrases are supposed to be frequently used enough to need study. What the heck is going on over there in Germany?

Worth A Shot: Buy My Books

You are getting sleepy…sleepy…sleepy:

Now go buy my books (review them on Goodreads and Amazon too):

The Garden of Good and Evil Pancakes

Lookit This

Instead of writing a post today, I thought I’d have you look at this:

Hypnotic, isn’t it?