David S. Atkinson's Blog, page 156

Which Dissin Terry Is Best?

I love any meme based on The Oregon Trail, like many people. Having grown up in the game, how can I not love any pun based on it? I get into a puzzler though on which ‘dissin Terry’ meme is the best. I can find at least two main ones:

I like the artwork better on the first one, and I think it sets it up best, but it is such a long walk for such a small joke. The second is more compact, better proportioned to the laugh involved, but the art is less visually pleasing to me. Also, it leaves off a little of the “you” lead in that makes the joke work for me in some inexplicable way. Plus, how can you miss having “Terry shoots you?”

One thing is certainly clear: I have overthought this to the point of killing absolutely all of the funny. My bad.

Buy My Books Post!

Buy my books!

Yes, it’s that time again.

Mosquito Repellent Makes Me Think Of Elephants

My wife and I were talking about the fourth of July recently. We were noting to each other that we want to be sure to bring mosquito repellent, given that mosquitoes tend to be an issue every year. Of course, I immediately thought of elephants.

This is, of course, the fault of Herbert Finagle:

He was a side character on an old episode of Garfield and Friends. Garfield is in trouble because he’s been buying too much crap off TV. Herbert Finagle still manages to con Garfield into buying his new Laser-Powered Elephant Repeller. Hilarity ensues, leading to Garfield getting out of trouble when elephants somehow cover Garfield’s house, triggering the money-back guarantee and rescuing Garfield from the purchase.

Very little of this is relevant, but the repetition in the episode of the words “Laser-Powered Elephant Repeller” cause me to think of “Laser-Powered Elephant Repeller” every time I hear the word “repellent.” I have no idea why.

This is just the way things are.

Goodreads Goal Progress Report

Well, June is wrapping up. That means it’s time to report my progress on my Goodreads reading challenge for the year. Nobody may care, but that’s outside of what I need to care about for this post.

As usual, I put in a goal of 150 books. This isn’t what I intend to read for the year, as usual. Rather, as always, I put in for a goal what I think is a good minimum for me. I’m not racing, or really concerned, but this is where I think I should at LEAST be based on my reading speed to evidence that I’m regularly involved in reading. Currently, I’m at 129 books for the year.

That isn’t too bad. I’m getting pretty close to my 150 book goal for the year about halfway through. It’s starting to look as if it’s going to be a 240-250 book year as opposed to a 300+ book year (I’ve been averaging 200-300 books a year for a while now), but that’s cool.

Clearly I’m getting enough reading time. If only I was writing anywhere near as much.

Humorously Mess With Shakespeare And I’ll Probably Watch

I have come to the conclusion that if you put together something that humorously messes with Shakespeare, I will probably watch it. Just saying, in case you’re thinking of it.

This occurred to me after the show of Improvised Shakespeare my wife and I saw this weekend. We were treated to a play entitled The Haunted Castle which was, of course, completely made up on the spot based on the title obtained from the audience. It bore certain resemblances to Hamlet and Macbeth, but it was still hysterical. Then I remembered The Complete Works of William Shakespeare, Abridged, a humorous piece that purports to pack the entirety of Shakespeare into a single short show (the sonnets are supposedly condensed onto a single 3X5 card passed around the crowd, though I’ve never gotten to see the card in all the productions I’ve seen). I also remembered Drunk Shakespeare, which was probably actually my favorite so far, consisting of a crew who put on a Shakespeare play after forcing one of the actors to get drunk (drinking and other hilarity goes throughout, thinking of Lady Macbeth delivering her letter speech while hula hooping).

Pretty much, if you do something funny with Shakespeare…I will go watch it. Go ahead. Get started. I could use something else. Really, I could.

Someone Actually Makes Real Poutine In Denver

Someone actually makes real poutine in Denver! You have no idea how happy this makes me.

It’s kind of funny. I actually talked myself into craving poutine recently with my own post regarding an animated gif of poutine. Looking at it when it went live, and stuck for the original option I’d planned when I found out the savory pie restaurant included mushrooms in the chicken pot pie and everything else that looked remotely good, I decided to try the poutine at Big Smoke Burger. I’d heard they actually did it right.

And they did. It actually had cheese curds instead of melted cheese. Gravy, fries, all pretty decent. It wasn’t the best poutine I’d ever had, but it was the first I’d found yet in Denver that I’d actually call poutine. I was pleased (note: I only tried their standard poutine, not their bacon poutine or their limited time pulled pork poutine).

I wasn’t that thrilled with the rest of their menu. It was mainly burgers, with a few variations. That all was good, but not notably exciting to me. However, the poutine was exciting enough.

I’ll be going back for that alone.

Dreaming Of A Rhinoceros

For some reason, I was just remembering a nightmare I had back when I was something like 6 0r 7. It was quite a long time ago by now, and I really have no idea why it suddenly came to mind.

In the nightmare, I was alone in my house. (That alone was odd, considering I don’t think my parents thought it wise at the time to leave me alone.) There was a rhinoceros storming my way. I don’t know how I knew that, but I could hear it coming despite the fact that it was apparently a long ways off. I judge that by the fact that it never seemed to show up, but was constantly almost there. (No, I don’t know how the rhinoceros was supposed to get into my house, or what it was doing in my town, but it was coming.) I formed a plan that I was going to get up on the shelf in the closet in my basement to get away from the rhinoceros. I was going to bring some knives from my kitchen, and toss them down at the rhinoceros when it showed up. (No, I don’t know how the rhinoceros was going to get into my basement, or what I thought throwing butcher knives at a rhinoceros was going to do. I don’t even know why the rhinoceros was so intent on me.) Of course, it was taking forever to get down into the basement and on the shelf. That’s where the tension came from, knowing what I needed to do and not getting it done as I continuously heard the rhinoceros get closer. (It was quite thunderous.)

So why do I still remember this? It was a quick, one-time nightmare that I dreamt over thirty years ago. It made no sense then, makes no sense now, and it makes even less sense that I still remember it or that I’m still thinking about it.

I am though.

Ha! There Are Poutine Animated Gifs!

Ha! There are poutine animated gifs!

Not just one, many. There are tons. The above was just my favorite one I found. There is no reason this should surprise me, but the number I found kind of did.

Great…now I want poutine.

Dear WordPress: Your New Editor Sucks

Dear WordPress: Your new editor sucks. That is all.

Seriously, WordPress. A while back you went to a new editor. It was supposed to be new and cool, but it’s just flashier and less easy to use. It hides features, and it pointlessly burdensome on graphics so it is much slower.

Your stuff is slow enough as is.

I know I use your stuff for free. I know this. I also know that I still don’t like your new editor. I still go the couple extra steps each time to wind my way into the old editor, which is still much faster and easier to use. You keep showing me messages each time about how you have a new editor that is so much better. It isn’t true though, your new editor sucks and I won’t use it unless I’m force to.

Please don’t force me to use your new editor. It sucks.

I Would Pay Extra To Have My Advertising Be Like Nihilist Arby’s

I was thinking today about advertising, and how we pretty much have to suffer through it for all the stuff we don’t want to have to pay for advertisement free. I was also thinking about Nihilist Arby’s:

Then I started thinking, I would pay extra to have my advertisements like Nihilist Arby’s. I would actually be more likely to buy products from a company that advertised like that, not just laugh at fake advertisements. I really would. I’d even pay for the privilege as opposed to having to suffer the kind of advertisements I normally do.

Madison Avenue, get on this.