Simon Hugh Wheeler's Blog, page 8
March 27, 2013
Cute Spanish Babies
When my Spanish wife says that our baby girls are “monas”, she means that they’re cute. An alternative translation is that they’re monkeys. They certainly act like it at times.
You can read more about my thoughts on babies, on my facebook page: Mean, Horrible Daddy
You can read more about my thoughts on babies, on my facebook page: Mean, Horrible Daddy
March 23, 2013
Cleopatra was a fake!
Cleopatra is full of myths. Apparently she wasn't incredibly beautiful, but she did make up for it with intelligence and charm. Good for her!
Next are the milk baths. Can you imagine that in Egypt? Milk in a hot country - it'd begin to smell pretty quickly, as Claudette Colbert discovered when she starred in the 1934 movie of Cleopatra, almost passing out with the stench, while trying to look alluring for the cameras.
Finally, and not many people know this, Mark Anthony had a lisp. Consequently, she misunderstood his comment, "Kiss my ass," and was killed after being bitten by an asp...
Next are the milk baths. Can you imagine that in Egypt? Milk in a hot country - it'd begin to smell pretty quickly, as Claudette Colbert discovered when she starred in the 1934 movie of Cleopatra, almost passing out with the stench, while trying to look alluring for the cameras.
Finally, and not many people know this, Mark Anthony had a lisp. Consequently, she misunderstood his comment, "Kiss my ass," and was killed after being bitten by an asp...
March 10, 2013
I'm Famous!
Mark Twain wrote about me! I appear in his book, The Celebrated Jumping Frog of Calaveras County. Seriously.
Simon Wheeler is fat, bald, lazy and tells tall stories. Too close to be pure coincidence!
Translation note: Calaveras is Spanish for "skulls". Sounds like a nice, friendly neighbourhood.
Simon Wheeler is fat, bald, lazy and tells tall stories. Too close to be pure coincidence!
Translation note: Calaveras is Spanish for "skulls". Sounds like a nice, friendly neighbourhood.
March 6, 2013
Watch out Mother-in-laws!
The translation of the Spanish word, "matasuegras", would be party hooter, although this is where translation is a problem, because it appears there are loads of different words - party horn, party blower, etc.
However, directly, it means, "mother-in-law killer"! I'd prefer something a little heavier and solid...
For more creative translations, check out my romantic comedy, Loosely Translated, where a Spanish translator meets the author of the awful detective series that she has "improved". If that sounds like your cup of tea, buy me a couple of beers - that's about how much the book costs, and you'll get that warm, fuzzy feeling of helping out an indie author. Cheers!
Loosely Translated at Amazon.com
However, directly, it means, "mother-in-law killer"! I'd prefer something a little heavier and solid...
For more creative translations, check out my romantic comedy, Loosely Translated, where a Spanish translator meets the author of the awful detective series that she has "improved". If that sounds like your cup of tea, buy me a couple of beers - that's about how much the book costs, and you'll get that warm, fuzzy feeling of helping out an indie author. Cheers!
Loosely Translated at Amazon.com
February 28, 2013
Ninja babies?
One of my other writing outlets is a facebook page: Mean, Horrible Daddy. It's my view on parenting, as a grumpy, 46-year-old father.
Today's post is about my dangerous, 9 month daughter. And she's the quieter one, compared to her twin sister.
I picked up the Mild One, she sweetly put her little arms around my neck... and she inadvertently pinched a pressure point. Obviously she doesn't have much strength, but it was enough to make my legs buckle. It felt like a mild paralysis. She seemed to think Daddy's eyes rolling around was terribly funny.
To read more on the "joys" of fatherhood, here's the link:
Mean, Horrible Daddy
Today's post is about my dangerous, 9 month daughter. And she's the quieter one, compared to her twin sister.
I picked up the Mild One, she sweetly put her little arms around my neck... and she inadvertently pinched a pressure point. Obviously she doesn't have much strength, but it was enough to make my legs buckle. It felt like a mild paralysis. She seemed to think Daddy's eyes rolling around was terribly funny.
To read more on the "joys" of fatherhood, here's the link:
Mean, Horrible Daddy
February 26, 2013
My Favourite Spanish Word
I love words. Etymology for me is not just about the meaning of words: it's history and culture woven into the language.
A fellow writer put a photo on facebook about the "happy dance" of alpacas. It's an amazing photo - the animals seem to be bursting with the simple joy of life.
The Spanish have a wonderful word that captures this: chozpar, which means to jump about happily like a lamb in the springtime. Alpacas can do it, too. Fancy trying it yourself?
For more creative translations, check out my romantic comedy, Loosely Translated, where a Spanish translator meets the author of the awful detective series that she has "improved". If that sounds like your cup of tea, buy me a couple of beers - that's about how much the book costs, and you'll get that warm, fuzzy feeling of helping out an indie author. Cheers!
Loosely Translated at Amazon.com
A fellow writer put a photo on facebook about the "happy dance" of alpacas. It's an amazing photo - the animals seem to be bursting with the simple joy of life.
The Spanish have a wonderful word that captures this: chozpar, which means to jump about happily like a lamb in the springtime. Alpacas can do it, too. Fancy trying it yourself?
For more creative translations, check out my romantic comedy, Loosely Translated, where a Spanish translator meets the author of the awful detective series that she has "improved". If that sounds like your cup of tea, buy me a couple of beers - that's about how much the book costs, and you'll get that warm, fuzzy feeling of helping out an indie author. Cheers!
Loosely Translated at Amazon.com
February 25, 2013
Turning over a new leaf
When I'm not writing or desperately trying to convince people to buy my book, I secretly plant trees! I'm turning into an old greeny, but it's my way of doing something for the environment.
There's a badly neglected strip of land which borders one of the supermarkets. I don't know whether it belongs to the supermarket or if it is the local council's responsibility, but for a public place, it is a disgrace. So I've been gradually planting a few things. At the moment, they look like bare sticks and probably go unnoticed, but in a few weeks time, when spring kicks in, people might get a surprise. I've also sowed some sunflower seeds along the ugly, wire fence. Should be an interesting transformation!
The problem with being an old greeny, is that here in Spain, it has a double meaning - a dirty, old man!
If you've got little kids, they might like my fun, picture book about the importance of growing trees. The Last Tree is about the Spanish legend that (many) years ago, a squirrel could cross Spain without touching the ground, simply going from tree to tree. But now there remains just one and Anna the Squirrel needs the help of the other animals to plant more trees.
I have now converted it into a video, so follow the link to it on Youtube: The Last Tree on Youtube
También en español: El Último Árbol en Youtube
There's a badly neglected strip of land which borders one of the supermarkets. I don't know whether it belongs to the supermarket or if it is the local council's responsibility, but for a public place, it is a disgrace. So I've been gradually planting a few things. At the moment, they look like bare sticks and probably go unnoticed, but in a few weeks time, when spring kicks in, people might get a surprise. I've also sowed some sunflower seeds along the ugly, wire fence. Should be an interesting transformation!
The problem with being an old greeny, is that here in Spain, it has a double meaning - a dirty, old man!
If you've got little kids, they might like my fun, picture book about the importance of growing trees. The Last Tree is about the Spanish legend that (many) years ago, a squirrel could cross Spain without touching the ground, simply going from tree to tree. But now there remains just one and Anna the Squirrel needs the help of the other animals to plant more trees.
I have now converted it into a video, so follow the link to it on Youtube: The Last Tree on Youtube
También en español: El Último Árbol en Youtube
February 17, 2013
Sweet Fanny Adams
“Sweet Fanny Adams”, meaning there is nothing at all, was a way to disguise what you really wanted to say – F*ck All.
Fanny Adams was an 8-year-old English girl, brutally murdered in the 1800s. The newspapers referred to her as “Sweet”, being so innocent. The initials corresponded with the expletive and so became commonly used, in much the same way as “Jiminy Cricket” was a polite replacement for Jesus Christ.
For more creative translations, check out my romantic comedy, Loosely Translated, where a Spanish translator meets the author of the awful detective series that she has "improved". If that sounds like your cup of tea, buy me a couple of beers - that's about how much the book costs, and you'll get that warm, fuzzy feeling of helping out an indie author. Cheers!
Loosely Translated at Amazon.com
Fanny Adams was an 8-year-old English girl, brutally murdered in the 1800s. The newspapers referred to her as “Sweet”, being so innocent. The initials corresponded with the expletive and so became commonly used, in much the same way as “Jiminy Cricket” was a polite replacement for Jesus Christ.
For more creative translations, check out my romantic comedy, Loosely Translated, where a Spanish translator meets the author of the awful detective series that she has "improved". If that sounds like your cup of tea, buy me a couple of beers - that's about how much the book costs, and you'll get that warm, fuzzy feeling of helping out an indie author. Cheers!
Loosely Translated at Amazon.com
February 13, 2013
Exhausting Reading!
How can you be exhausted reading a book? Last night I was reading a story to my baby girls - their attention span is measured in nanoseconds, so I had to read it pretty quickly, but also act out the story and vigorously bring the characters to life meant hard work. Not only they enjoyed it, but me, too!
February 12, 2013
Brass Monkeys
It's cold today - brass monkey weather. Strangely, “Freeze the balls off a brass monkey” is not a rude expression. It comes from an old Navy saying about cannonballs, which were stacked up on a tray called a brass monkey. The cannonballs, being made of iron, didn’t shrink at the same rate when it got cold, as the brass of the monkey. Hence the balls would fall off when the temperature dropped.
For more creative translations, check out my romantic comedy, Loosely Translated, where a Spanish translator meets the author of the awful detective series that she has "improved". If that sounds like your cup of tea, buy me a couple of beers - that's about how much the book costs, and you'll get that warm, fuzzy feeling of helping out an indie author. Cheers!
Loosely Translated at Amazon.com
For more creative translations, check out my romantic comedy, Loosely Translated, where a Spanish translator meets the author of the awful detective series that she has "improved". If that sounds like your cup of tea, buy me a couple of beers - that's about how much the book costs, and you'll get that warm, fuzzy feeling of helping out an indie author. Cheers!
Loosely Translated at Amazon.com
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