Stephen Colegrove's Blog, page 5
December 24, 2015
Hot Christmas Babes
Christmas is a traditional American holiday when families gather in the desert for a week, strip off our clothes, and take bags of drugs. By removing the trappings of civilization (and our […]
December 17, 2015
The Return of Lazer Moon Space Battle Part VII
Now that George Lucas is dead, the Illuminati have allowed a remake of one of the most-cherished movies of my childhood: Star Wars! I know you were yelling, “Beastmaster, Beastmaster!” […]
July 11, 2015
I Think I’m Turning Nipponese
After a recent trip to Tokyo, I’m grabbing onto the self-affirmation bandwagon and officially changing my race to Japanese. I could eat sushi for every meal and I never wear shoes, […]
May 26, 2015
Social Justice for Alone Man
Like the Olympian god Zeus scouring beach resorts for female Britons who’ve had too much uzo (or any uzo), inspiration can take many forms. For me it’s staying up for […]
April 29, 2015
People for the Toolbag Way
Men are born knowing how to fix things or will have this knowledge beaten into them as a child, usually by a father covered in bearing grease and alfalfa seed. […]
April 4, 2015
Felicitous Non-Denominational Spring Day!
In an attempt to avoid offending atheists and Unitarians, the Government has renamed “Easter Sunday” to “Non-denominational Spring Day.” Since this recent action has offended more people than were originally […]
March 28, 2015
Government Makes Crime Illegal
Washington, D.C., March 28, 2015 –– In response to the appalling rise in gas station robberies by Chinese doctoral students and the nationwide pandemic of electrical engineers on drug-fueled rampages, the Government has […]
February 13, 2015
Sexy Amish Women Friday the Valenteenth Deluxe Overlord Edition
Valentine’s Day falls on a Saturday once every thirty years and creates the cursed, malevolent whirlwind of chaos and suffering that in my village we call “Friday the Valenteenth.” Local […]
February 10, 2015
I Googled “Love”
The girl behind the counter had waves of long, copper-colored hair beneath her Dairy Queen cap, deep green eyes, and a smile that made me want to grab her pale hand […]
December 30, 2014
Best Posts of the Year 100% Exclusive Limited Edition Diamond Executive Washroom Version
2014 was a year of amazement, horror, and disgust, and I’m only talking about what I found under my kitchen sink. Let us pray that the coming year holds no […]
