Allison Knight's Blog, page 9
March 22, 2014
The Journey
Looks like rain, so I'm going to take it easy today. Lots of things to do on the computer. That makes it easy for me. I can sit and not feel guilty. I do have to finish the laundry. I do two loads every couple of days, one white, one dark. I finish the white load one day one, fold and put away. Day two sees the second load folded and put away. And to think I use to do six or seven loads a day, every five or six days. (Well with a white shirt husband and four kids... Need I say more?)
Despite the weather which doesn't look encouraging, I'm breathing okay so far. The trouble with the disease I have is the bronchial tubes are involved at least on the one side. That means the left lung doesn't get its level of O2 as easily. And all moving around, lifting, bending, pulling - I could go on - expends energy requiring O2. I think you can see the problem.
Off to fix breakfast and then I'll have a better idea of the quality of the day. Then computer here I come.
I got the cover for my new book. I intend to show it off later today. This one is another beauty.
Allison, off to fix bacon and eggs. I'm hungry. Good sign!
Despite the weather which doesn't look encouraging, I'm breathing okay so far. The trouble with the disease I have is the bronchial tubes are involved at least on the one side. That means the left lung doesn't get its level of O2 as easily. And all moving around, lifting, bending, pulling - I could go on - expends energy requiring O2. I think you can see the problem.
Off to fix breakfast and then I'll have a better idea of the quality of the day. Then computer here I come.
I got the cover for my new book. I intend to show it off later today. This one is another beauty.
Allison, off to fix bacon and eggs. I'm hungry. Good sign!
March 21, 2014
The Journey
Can I complain about the weather? We have a low pressure system moving in. I can tell. Getting harder to breath. Darn it! I was doing good. Now another raining weekend and that means I don't get much done, 'cause I can't do much. Takes too much wind. In fact, I won't be able to talk much either. Good thing my fingers work.
I'm starting in on the next WIP. Well, I've already started it, I'm just going back to it. I'll need it to keep my thoughts together. My hospice nurse is going back to school, which is wonderful for her, but she'll have to go part time with her hospice duties, so some of her patients will go to other hospice nurses. This saddens me - bunches. She is terrific, so sweet and we have so much in common when it comes to food likes and dislikes. We both shop at the same store and share experiences, bargain ideas and new products. Oh, I want to cry, well no, that's childish. I encouraged her to go to school. She'll make a wonderful PA. But life is like that. You win some, or lose some. I'll know in a week or two if I get to stay with her or am assigned to another nurse.
In the meantime, I have to get the laundry finished before breathing is a 'sit down and don't much else' for the next couple of days. Can I complain - again?
Back to the big computer and the next book, until the last round of edits arrive. That should be the end of the edits. Then the copy edits, formatting and out for sale. I can hardy wait. The cover should be coming any day now. One nice thing about an small indie publisher - I have some input on the cover. Of course, I can't draw a straight line, let alone come up with a cover idea, so it's always a surprise. And I like surprises!
Allison
I'm starting in on the next WIP. Well, I've already started it, I'm just going back to it. I'll need it to keep my thoughts together. My hospice nurse is going back to school, which is wonderful for her, but she'll have to go part time with her hospice duties, so some of her patients will go to other hospice nurses. This saddens me - bunches. She is terrific, so sweet and we have so much in common when it comes to food likes and dislikes. We both shop at the same store and share experiences, bargain ideas and new products. Oh, I want to cry, well no, that's childish. I encouraged her to go to school. She'll make a wonderful PA. But life is like that. You win some, or lose some. I'll know in a week or two if I get to stay with her or am assigned to another nurse.
In the meantime, I have to get the laundry finished before breathing is a 'sit down and don't much else' for the next couple of days. Can I complain - again?
Back to the big computer and the next book, until the last round of edits arrive. That should be the end of the edits. Then the copy edits, formatting and out for sale. I can hardy wait. The cover should be coming any day now. One nice thing about an small indie publisher - I have some input on the cover. Of course, I can't draw a straight line, let alone come up with a cover idea, so it's always a surprise. And I like surprises!
Allison
March 20, 2014
The Journey
One more thing to do and the last batch of edits should be very easy. I hope they are very easy. I thought about something yesterday afternoon. Something was needed as explanation. I asked my DH, who is my first reader. He agreed, so I asked my editor. She agreed. So I have to go back and add something, then the second round are done and I made my own deadline. A good feeling.
A quick trip to Wal Mart this am and I succumbed. I bought a chocolate layer cake. Like I need it!
But I wanted it, it just looked so good. So chocolate cake for lunch.
I feel much better today. The weather has improved, I've had a chance to rest and when breathing is easier, I feel better. A shame I didn't sleep that well last night, but my story just keep running through my mind, and for about an hour I was rewriting the section I needed to add. I would mentally review one idea, then another, conflicts possible, the heroine's reactions to each idea. That's the trouble with such an imaginary brain. You can tell it to stop, you can try to explain your health means you need sleep, but those little brain cells just laugh at you. That was last night. Guess I should take a nap this afternoon.
I'll probably have the same battle when I try to take a nap. But I should not complain. It means more books. So now I have to get busy, get the added section inserted and sent off. Then on to the next wip.
Allison
A quick trip to Wal Mart this am and I succumbed. I bought a chocolate layer cake. Like I need it!
But I wanted it, it just looked so good. So chocolate cake for lunch.
I feel much better today. The weather has improved, I've had a chance to rest and when breathing is easier, I feel better. A shame I didn't sleep that well last night, but my story just keep running through my mind, and for about an hour I was rewriting the section I needed to add. I would mentally review one idea, then another, conflicts possible, the heroine's reactions to each idea. That's the trouble with such an imaginary brain. You can tell it to stop, you can try to explain your health means you need sleep, but those little brain cells just laugh at you. That was last night. Guess I should take a nap this afternoon.
I'll probably have the same battle when I try to take a nap. But I should not complain. It means more books. So now I have to get busy, get the added section inserted and sent off. Then on to the next wip.
Allison
March 19, 2014
The Journey
Hoorah! It wasn't me. My hospice nurse informed me yesterday, all, and she did say all, her patients had trouble over the weekend. None of them were doing well with their breathing. I can't tell you how relieved I felt. Then my DH tells me he's having trouble catching his breath. (Now he tells me!)
It wasn't me! So, with better weather, and in a day or two I should be much improved. For a while there I was sure it was only going to be down hill. It isn't that I expect to recover. That takes a miracle and although I know they happen, my brother experienced one, a writer friend has just had one, I'm not asking for one. COPD doesn't go away. And I've confirmed the ordinary rate of decline. There is nothing typical. HA! I never did anything typical in my life, so why wouldn't I get a condition about which there is nothing typical. (grinning here) My DH keeps reminding me that I once made the comment (when I was younger, much younger and stupid) that I was health as a horse. Nothing like making a liar out of your self.
Enough about that. I absolute love the internet and while I'm finding it hard to talk for a long time - and I love to talk - the ability to find what I want with my fingers is a blessing. Thanks to one of my readers I followed her suggestion and added a Follow me to the blog. As long as my fingers work,
and my mind is functioning (okay, so there is some question about that and if you could see the mistakes in my wip you would understand) I'll be blogging. Until then I have about 30 pages left of this round of edits. Off to the book.
Allison
It wasn't me! So, with better weather, and in a day or two I should be much improved. For a while there I was sure it was only going to be down hill. It isn't that I expect to recover. That takes a miracle and although I know they happen, my brother experienced one, a writer friend has just had one, I'm not asking for one. COPD doesn't go away. And I've confirmed the ordinary rate of decline. There is nothing typical. HA! I never did anything typical in my life, so why wouldn't I get a condition about which there is nothing typical. (grinning here) My DH keeps reminding me that I once made the comment (when I was younger, much younger and stupid) that I was health as a horse. Nothing like making a liar out of your self.
Enough about that. I absolute love the internet and while I'm finding it hard to talk for a long time - and I love to talk - the ability to find what I want with my fingers is a blessing. Thanks to one of my readers I followed her suggestion and added a Follow me to the blog. As long as my fingers work,
and my mind is functioning (okay, so there is some question about that and if you could see the mistakes in my wip you would understand) I'll be blogging. Until then I have about 30 pages left of this round of edits. Off to the book.
Allison
March 18, 2014
The Journey
Busy editing. Almost finished. Maybe tomorrow or Thursday at the latest.
In the meantime, I think we moved a step closer to the next phase. This weather isn't helping. As I mentioned, I quizzed my nurse on what happens next and what the symptoms are. I do not consider that gross, although my DD and DH don't understand me at all. They say they wouldn't want to know. Me, I think that's silly. The closer you get the more you need to get ready, tidy up loose ends, finishing things up.
I believe in ghosts. I've actually experienced one and when I go, I don't want to come back because I've left something undone. I also learned from my father, you need to say goodbye to loved one, and tell them it's okay. You are going to a better place. I remember when Dad died, my mother hung on for all she was worth. He was her life. I think he would have passed a day, perhaps two, earlier had she been willing to let go.
My sister, who is almost a nurse, was fabulous when mother died. I can remember her sitting at Mom's side and telling her it was okay for her to go join Daddy now. She could leave us. And she did, peacefully. That was inspiring to me at least. I can only hope DD and DH will let me go when it's my time.
Not quite there yet of course. But I can tell I'm slowing down at a rapid rate. Knowing what to expect is my choice, I realize, and not everyone's but it make sense to me and for me.
Now, if I'm ever going to get the edits done and continue with the Historical Romantic suspense I'm working on I better get to my big computer.
Allison
In the meantime, I think we moved a step closer to the next phase. This weather isn't helping. As I mentioned, I quizzed my nurse on what happens next and what the symptoms are. I do not consider that gross, although my DD and DH don't understand me at all. They say they wouldn't want to know. Me, I think that's silly. The closer you get the more you need to get ready, tidy up loose ends, finishing things up.
I believe in ghosts. I've actually experienced one and when I go, I don't want to come back because I've left something undone. I also learned from my father, you need to say goodbye to loved one, and tell them it's okay. You are going to a better place. I remember when Dad died, my mother hung on for all she was worth. He was her life. I think he would have passed a day, perhaps two, earlier had she been willing to let go.
My sister, who is almost a nurse, was fabulous when mother died. I can remember her sitting at Mom's side and telling her it was okay for her to go join Daddy now. She could leave us. And she did, peacefully. That was inspiring to me at least. I can only hope DD and DH will let me go when it's my time.
Not quite there yet of course. But I can tell I'm slowing down at a rapid rate. Knowing what to expect is my choice, I realize, and not everyone's but it make sense to me and for me.
Now, if I'm ever going to get the edits done and continue with the Historical Romantic suspense I'm working on I better get to my big computer.
Allison
March 17, 2014
The Journey
It's still raining. Ugh! So same problems. Difficult to breath. So another take it easy day. I have meat balls to bake, but I think it will be microwave meal for dinner. I do have fresh pineapple I cut up yesterday so I have that as well. I try to eat some meat (protein) bread (carbs) veggie's and fruit for lunch and watch what I eat at the other meals. I also try hard to include dairy during the day, at least two servings. Cheese finds its way into a lot of meals.
As a chocaholic I love hot chocolate. Found a dark chocolate mix and it is super with 3/4 milk and 1/4 water. (Licking lips just at the thought.) I go for that late afternoon or early evening. Okay, so I'll wait.
Still editing. Over half finished. I figure by the end of the week I'll have it finished.
So, off to bake the meal balls and get back to the book.
Allison
As a chocaholic I love hot chocolate. Found a dark chocolate mix and it is super with 3/4 milk and 1/4 water. (Licking lips just at the thought.) I go for that late afternoon or early evening. Okay, so I'll wait.
Still editing. Over half finished. I figure by the end of the week I'll have it finished.
So, off to bake the meal balls and get back to the book.
Allison
March 16, 2014
The Journey
Happy Sunday. Rain here, and the threat of a tornado or two. Ugh! However, with the pressure stable the breathing is better. (If you missed yesterday's blog, I explained why this matters). More editing today, and taking it easy for the rest of the day.
I have a bit of mending to do, and that's nice and easy. Which is great, because last night wasn't that good a night. A lot of coughing. Again all part of the weather. We should have moved to a drier climate, but I love it here near the gulf. Our flowers are blooming, the trees are leafing out, things are turning green. I love it.
Spring has always been my favorite. Probably because I always lived in the north until we retired. Spring was always the end of the cold and snow. Of course, we don't have the cold (usually) and snow is really rare. And yes, it does snow once in a while. Atlanta learned that this year.
So an easy day (I hope). Now to fix breakfast.
Allison
I have a bit of mending to do, and that's nice and easy. Which is great, because last night wasn't that good a night. A lot of coughing. Again all part of the weather. We should have moved to a drier climate, but I love it here near the gulf. Our flowers are blooming, the trees are leafing out, things are turning green. I love it.
Spring has always been my favorite. Probably because I always lived in the north until we retired. Spring was always the end of the cold and snow. Of course, we don't have the cold (usually) and snow is really rare. And yes, it does snow once in a while. Atlanta learned that this year.
So an easy day (I hope). Now to fix breakfast.
Allison
March 15, 2014
The Journey
Interesting! We have low pressure coming in, and my breathing is more difficult. Who says weather doesn't affect people? When my grandmother complained about her knees bothering her because the weather was changing, I thought that sounded kinda silly. I'm not sure now. I'm finding if we are under a high pressure system, breathing is easier. As a low pressure begins to move in, it's more difficult, then once the low pressure settles in, the breathing becomes easier, unless the pressure continues to drop. I've got to wonder what would happen if we have a hurricane.
The major problem with the trouble with difficult breathing is the ability to get things done that require walking around. So cooking is trouble, and so is cleaning (although I'm not going to complain about the inability to clean. After all, who likes to clean.) But this house is not a small house, it's all on one floor and from kitchen to bedroom is a walk, well kinda, at least for me. Doing things that require moving from room to room is a problem. I gotta stop and sit, take a few deep breaths, and then move on. Slow going. But note! I am going. And I have no intention of stopping yet.
Fortunately, (or unfortunately if you don't like romances) I can sit at the computer and use my fingers with no difficulty at all. So I can write with no problem. So, back to editing.
Allison
The major problem with the trouble with difficult breathing is the ability to get things done that require walking around. So cooking is trouble, and so is cleaning (although I'm not going to complain about the inability to clean. After all, who likes to clean.) But this house is not a small house, it's all on one floor and from kitchen to bedroom is a walk, well kinda, at least for me. Doing things that require moving from room to room is a problem. I gotta stop and sit, take a few deep breaths, and then move on. Slow going. But note! I am going. And I have no intention of stopping yet.
Fortunately, (or unfortunately if you don't like romances) I can sit at the computer and use my fingers with no difficulty at all. So I can write with no problem. So, back to editing.
Allison
March 14, 2014
The Journey
Today is a good day. I guess I was so relieved that I wasn't going to have to go through all the radiation stuff and face the chemo guy with my objections, I slept well, and today I feel good. Oh, slow of course, and I wear out fast, but on the whole, I'm relieved and relaxed.
I have to grin because when the nurse took my BP yesterday it was sky high. I can hardly wait to tell my hospice nurse it was off the charts ( for me at least) I do consider 177/93 way up there. So I was a lot more upset about that situation than even I thought.
Now, things are settling down. I'm back to editing. And as a writer, I have learned a huge lesson. Do Not, ever! write something under pressure to just get it down. I'll be editing for a while. I wrote under pressure, afraid I wouldn't get the story finished, a book I wanted so badly to write! The mistakes are so numerous, I'll be editing for hours and hours and hours.
Blest DH. He's gone for lunch and is willing to go get us something and even do the cooking, at least some of it, for the next couple of days.
Back to the editing.
Allison
I have to grin because when the nurse took my BP yesterday it was sky high. I can hardly wait to tell my hospice nurse it was off the charts ( for me at least) I do consider 177/93 way up there. So I was a lot more upset about that situation than even I thought.
Now, things are settling down. I'm back to editing. And as a writer, I have learned a huge lesson. Do Not, ever! write something under pressure to just get it down. I'll be editing for a while. I wrote under pressure, afraid I wouldn't get the story finished, a book I wanted so badly to write! The mistakes are so numerous, I'll be editing for hours and hours and hours.
Blest DH. He's gone for lunch and is willing to go get us something and even do the cooking, at least some of it, for the next couple of days.
Back to the editing.
Allison
March 13, 2014
The Journey
Okay, I went to see the radiologist today. Nice guy. I had a feeling none of the doctors with Hospice knew how bad my COPD is. We talked about radiology and he confirmed what I'd researched. It's not going to do a thing for me. In fact, there is the slightest possibility it would make things worse. He admitted there was some reaction to radiation and given were my cancer is (although they don't know what kind I've got) they could do some damage to the blood vessels. I don't need that. My right lung - where the cancer is - is the better of the two lungs, so we sure don't want to do anything to it.
My main question was - will radiation do anything for my COPD. The answer - NO! There is no treatment other than what I'm doing. I'm taking the appropriate meds, on O2, do the right exercises for the lungs. I can't do any more. So, it is what it is. The radiologist also indicated that the cancer is a slow grower. That's fine with me, but I also have to admit, the COPD is not improving. The doctors tell me, I can remain the same, get worse slowly, or fast, but no one knows. Don't you love it!
And, yes, this is probably because I had whooping cough as a child. Kinda like shingles as an adult if you had chicken pox as a child, expect shingles doesn't kill, COPD does.
I'm not unhappy with the doctor's report. I did not like the idea of driving south for a half an hour, being around a lot of sick people (the place was packed) then enduring radiation. That would have sapped a lot of my energy and I need it for stuff around the house. (In fact - I'm really happy I don't have to go when I didn't like the idea to start with.) Am I terrible?
Allison
My main question was - will radiation do anything for my COPD. The answer - NO! There is no treatment other than what I'm doing. I'm taking the appropriate meds, on O2, do the right exercises for the lungs. I can't do any more. So, it is what it is. The radiologist also indicated that the cancer is a slow grower. That's fine with me, but I also have to admit, the COPD is not improving. The doctors tell me, I can remain the same, get worse slowly, or fast, but no one knows. Don't you love it!
And, yes, this is probably because I had whooping cough as a child. Kinda like shingles as an adult if you had chicken pox as a child, expect shingles doesn't kill, COPD does.
I'm not unhappy with the doctor's report. I did not like the idea of driving south for a half an hour, being around a lot of sick people (the place was packed) then enduring radiation. That would have sapped a lot of my energy and I need it for stuff around the house. (In fact - I'm really happy I don't have to go when I didn't like the idea to start with.) Am I terrible?
Allison
