Allison Knight's Blog, page 2
June 5, 2014
The Journey
It looks like it's going to be good day. Okay, the dang hip hurts, but I am going to have to live with it. (sigh) I found a decent rub that helps a bit. Moving around helps a bit as well. Trouble of course, is moving around takes a lot of energy, and I don't 'got' that And my nurse was very insistent that I do a bit, then rest, do a bit more and rest, more and more. Okay, I did that yesterday. And yeah, it does work. So I will do a bit, rest, do a bit, rest, and over and over. (grinning) Oh, would I have loved to have this excuse years ago. Just think. "Hey, Boss, my nurse says a bit and rest, a bit and rest." Wonder how long before I got fired.
I have the Errata, my chance to make any final corrections on Lovesong, then it goes to the formatter, I think.
That means I can continue with the new book. Oh, an there are promo things to do for Lovesong. In the mean time, some of the pills I'm now taking make me sleepy, so I gotta take a little snooze.
DH just returned from store, so put stuff away before my snooze - shoot!
Allison
I have the Errata, my chance to make any final corrections on Lovesong, then it goes to the formatter, I think.
That means I can continue with the new book. Oh, an there are promo things to do for Lovesong. In the mean time, some of the pills I'm now taking make me sleepy, so I gotta take a little snooze.
DH just returned from store, so put stuff away before my snooze - shoot!
Allison
June 4, 2014
The Journey
Tuesday is the day for my hospice nurse to check everything. She is a delight and very frank. I really appreciate frank. So her news yesterday was good and bad. My lungs sounded really good, no noise, no liquid swishing around, no rattles. Great!
However, that means that the pains and the pressure have nothing to do with the COPD and probably indicate that the cancer is growing, or spreading to other parts. Unfortunately, there is no way to be sure unless I want to go through a whole series of painful, lengthy tests. Guess what? They can stick the tests. Even if the cancer is doing it's thing at an extremely low rate, the lung (left one) is still no good. Yesterday it was clear. That was great. Doesn't mean though, that it will stay that way.
So, am I willing to leave hospice (a condition of taking the tests), then spend the next two or three months being poked and prodded, stick with needles, scanned and who knows what else to find out, well, the cancer is still in the lung and the left lung is still bad. I don't even want to think about the cost of all of this.
Decision, take a pain pill and smile big time because the left lung is clear today. I guess it's a matter of priorities. Do I want to enjoy the days I have left, or do I want to suffer through the days I have left?
If you followed this blog much, you know which one I chose.
Now, let me take my pill and finish the last official edit of Lovesong.
Allison
However, that means that the pains and the pressure have nothing to do with the COPD and probably indicate that the cancer is growing, or spreading to other parts. Unfortunately, there is no way to be sure unless I want to go through a whole series of painful, lengthy tests. Guess what? They can stick the tests. Even if the cancer is doing it's thing at an extremely low rate, the lung (left one) is still no good. Yesterday it was clear. That was great. Doesn't mean though, that it will stay that way.
So, am I willing to leave hospice (a condition of taking the tests), then spend the next two or three months being poked and prodded, stick with needles, scanned and who knows what else to find out, well, the cancer is still in the lung and the left lung is still bad. I don't even want to think about the cost of all of this.
Decision, take a pain pill and smile big time because the left lung is clear today. I guess it's a matter of priorities. Do I want to enjoy the days I have left, or do I want to suffer through the days I have left?
If you followed this blog much, you know which one I chose.
Now, let me take my pill and finish the last official edit of Lovesong.
Allison
June 3, 2014
The Journey
I'm now sitting in a clean house. My cleaning lady came and for a ridiculous price, she cleaned my house the way we used to clean in the spring. She even cleaned the fireplace out. I thought that was a little over the top, but her response was, I would have cleaned it out when I cleaned, if I was able.
There are some people on this earth who have to be part angel. She's one of them.
I knew one other - my grandmother. She was another part angel. She'd help anyone at any time for any reason. If you were sick, here she came with a meal, friend or foe. It didn't matter. That was the way she was. My cleaning lady is the same way. I wish God put more of these people on this earth. We sure need them. In fact, it makes you want to emulate them in some small way.
DH arrived with lunch. Time to eat.
Allison
There are some people on this earth who have to be part angel. She's one of them.
I knew one other - my grandmother. She was another part angel. She'd help anyone at any time for any reason. If you were sick, here she came with a meal, friend or foe. It didn't matter. That was the way she was. My cleaning lady is the same way. I wish God put more of these people on this earth. We sure need them. In fact, it makes you want to emulate them in some small way.
DH arrived with lunch. Time to eat.
Allison
June 2, 2014
The Journey
Start of a new week. And time to get the PA's (prior approval) squared away. We have a lot of research to do with that one. It may be just certain insurance companies, or certain states, but I need to check to find out how many people are going to be affected.
Interesting as another step along the way. More bloody mucus. The small capillaries in the lungs are complaining about some of my deep coughing. There's a breathing tool they give you in the hospital after surgery to help keep you from getting pneumonia. It's green, you blow into it and it is supposed to stir up any mucus accumulating in the lungs so you can cough it up. It does work and I'm using it, but obviously not often enough. And it's great fun, because the thing is called affectionately "the pickle". Imagine telling people, "I gotta go now because I have to use my pickle". It 's bad enough they think I'm nuts because of all the characters running around in my head, but now I'm playing with a pickle.
Now I have all kinds of phone calls to make so I must run (oh, that was a stupid comment. I can't run any more) I must toddle off to the office and my phone.
Allison
Interesting as another step along the way. More bloody mucus. The small capillaries in the lungs are complaining about some of my deep coughing. There's a breathing tool they give you in the hospital after surgery to help keep you from getting pneumonia. It's green, you blow into it and it is supposed to stir up any mucus accumulating in the lungs so you can cough it up. It does work and I'm using it, but obviously not often enough. And it's great fun, because the thing is called affectionately "the pickle". Imagine telling people, "I gotta go now because I have to use my pickle". It 's bad enough they think I'm nuts because of all the characters running around in my head, but now I'm playing with a pickle.
Now I have all kinds of phone calls to make so I must run (oh, that was a stupid comment. I can't run any more) I must toddle off to the office and my phone.
Allison
June 1, 2014
The Journey
Wow! The first day a of June. Surprising but after breakfast, I lowered the recliner and slept until Noon. I couldn't believe it when I looked at the clock. And I had a good night sleep as well. I did talk to the hospice nurse about nap taking and she explained that indeed, needing more sleep is part of the disease. It does make sense. Every time you stand up, walk, move around, even take a deep breath, you are using energy. And having taught science and basic physic for a couple years that too makes sense to me.
It's really bad when a teacher gets into a teaching mode (grinning).
Eating burns a lot of energy. Trying to cook the food is even worse. I'm just getting too tired to fix much of anything anymore. DH helps, sometimes. But, he's slowing down too, so it's getting doubly hard.
I have found that I really like both Ensure and the Boost chocolate drinks. They are really good if they are cold. and swallowing is a lot easier to do than to chew a chunk of meat or raw veggies. Although I've found a whole bunch of frozen seasoned veggies you cook that I really like. And yummmm to fresh fruit. I sure enjoyed our strawberries this year. The whole south has berries much earlier than other people and we had strawberries nearly every day for over a month. With whipping cream. (grinning) Not losing any weight but everyone says that good. Surprisingly I'm not gaining anything either.
Now, I'm hungry. I have to go find something chocolate.
Allison
It's really bad when a teacher gets into a teaching mode (grinning).
Eating burns a lot of energy. Trying to cook the food is even worse. I'm just getting too tired to fix much of anything anymore. DH helps, sometimes. But, he's slowing down too, so it's getting doubly hard.
I have found that I really like both Ensure and the Boost chocolate drinks. They are really good if they are cold. and swallowing is a lot easier to do than to chew a chunk of meat or raw veggies. Although I've found a whole bunch of frozen seasoned veggies you cook that I really like. And yummmm to fresh fruit. I sure enjoyed our strawberries this year. The whole south has berries much earlier than other people and we had strawberries nearly every day for over a month. With whipping cream. (grinning) Not losing any weight but everyone says that good. Surprisingly I'm not gaining anything either.
Now, I'm hungry. I have to go find something chocolate.
Allison
May 31, 2014
The Journey
Low Pressure system sitting right over us, or darned close. How do I know? I've mentioned it enough.
(grinning). I was going to work on the spread sheet which go with our tax forms for next year, but,
too hard to breath. I'll have to go sit down, and rest for awhile, then maybe I can get back to it.
This is the part I don't like. I just wear out much to quickly to get much done. And of course, I've learned, there is no way I can go at it the way I used to. So, it's off to the recliner, pillow behind my head, feet up and breathe slowly and evenly until I'm back to 'Gee I can do something again."
My wonderful DH is helping with the final edits on the book, so that's not shouting me in the face. He's doing part and I'll do part so we'll have it done on time. Hooray.
Now, off to the recliner.
Allison
(grinning). I was going to work on the spread sheet which go with our tax forms for next year, but,
too hard to breath. I'll have to go sit down, and rest for awhile, then maybe I can get back to it.
This is the part I don't like. I just wear out much to quickly to get much done. And of course, I've learned, there is no way I can go at it the way I used to. So, it's off to the recliner, pillow behind my head, feet up and breathe slowly and evenly until I'm back to 'Gee I can do something again."
My wonderful DH is helping with the final edits on the book, so that's not shouting me in the face. He's doing part and I'll do part so we'll have it done on time. Hooray.
Now, off to the recliner.
Allison
May 30, 2014
The Journey
It would be so nice if things went smoothly for once. But boy do I have a surprise of anyone on hospice who takes maintenance meds that hospice is not required to pay for. Example, you have high blood pressure, but you are under the care for cancer. The meds for blood pressure which you have to take every day, or insulin, for example and it not related to the hospice diagnose you have to pay for.
Now, if you have part D medicare or another prescription insurance you must now have the doctor ordering maintenance meds to call the insurance company, answer their questions and send the pharmacy a PA form. (prior approval) Then the pharmacy must fill out their forms and send them into the insurance company. (hang on to your hats) This has to be done for every refill.
This is of course part of the Obamacare mandate. It went into effect on May 1 of this year. Can you hear the yells going on around the US? How many people don't know about it. Our doctors didn't, our pharmacy didn't, our hospice didn't. Of course, I'm caught in the middle of all of this. I have five maintenance meds that have little to do with my diagnosis. I can either wait for all the paper work to get where it needs to go, or pay for the drugs myself. I need the meds so I paid. But what about people who take expensive stuff. Like chemo drugs that hospice doesn't pay for?
I'm beginning to wonder if the government through obamacare is after one thing. The sooner we seniors die, the less social security and medicare payments they have to make. In a nasty way, it make a horrible sense.
I'm going back to my world of fiction. At least that has a happy ending.
Allison
Now, if you have part D medicare or another prescription insurance you must now have the doctor ordering maintenance meds to call the insurance company, answer their questions and send the pharmacy a PA form. (prior approval) Then the pharmacy must fill out their forms and send them into the insurance company. (hang on to your hats) This has to be done for every refill.
This is of course part of the Obamacare mandate. It went into effect on May 1 of this year. Can you hear the yells going on around the US? How many people don't know about it. Our doctors didn't, our pharmacy didn't, our hospice didn't. Of course, I'm caught in the middle of all of this. I have five maintenance meds that have little to do with my diagnosis. I can either wait for all the paper work to get where it needs to go, or pay for the drugs myself. I need the meds so I paid. But what about people who take expensive stuff. Like chemo drugs that hospice doesn't pay for?
I'm beginning to wonder if the government through obamacare is after one thing. The sooner we seniors die, the less social security and medicare payments they have to make. In a nasty way, it make a horrible sense.
I'm going back to my world of fiction. At least that has a happy ending.
Allison
May 29, 2014
The journey
It gets very discouraging when you realize what you did before, simple things like going to the closet to get the shampoo only to find out you put it someplace else and you have to go look for it and don't have the breath or the strength to go look for it. There are so many things you do, that suddenly become too hard to do. As I said, it sure gets discouraging.
Working on the last edits for Lovesong. This is why I like to go with a good company. They require lots and lots of edits and before the book is called complete, you the author get to go over it one last time to look for any little mistakes that might have gotten missed. All those mistakes you see in books are because this step gets skipped or the author does bother.
For the next couple of days I'll be reading my book one more time. Trying to make it as perfect as it can be. If there are mistakes, it's my fault. (sigh).
Getting anxious to work on the next book. So back to Lovesong for one more time.
Allison
Working on the last edits for Lovesong. This is why I like to go with a good company. They require lots and lots of edits and before the book is called complete, you the author get to go over it one last time to look for any little mistakes that might have gotten missed. All those mistakes you see in books are because this step gets skipped or the author does bother.
For the next couple of days I'll be reading my book one more time. Trying to make it as perfect as it can be. If there are mistakes, it's my fault. (sigh).
Getting anxious to work on the next book. So back to Lovesong for one more time.
Allison
May 28, 2014
The Journey
Good day, bad day! today qualifies as a bad day. We changed the way I take my pills. Didn't work. I needed to sleep all morning and the hip is still a problem. I'm just gritting my teeth and trying to change positions as often as every couple of minutes.
Now, to get gross. I do an awfully lot of coughing. I even take an inhalation med to help thin the mucus. Color indicates how my lung is doing. Green or green gray indicates infection. Pale cream of light yellow indicates things are SOP. Pink or red indicates some bleeding. Now all the colors can be affected by any condition in the throat of the stomach.
Don't you love get a science lesson on a Wednesday....
I had a very sore throat this morning and coughing up a lot. Because I was coughing up pink and an almost red this am I called the nurse and her advice was try to take a cough drop to slow down the coughing. She suspected it was more the sore throat than the cancer which of course was great to hear. Oh, what good advice on the cough drop, because I am not cough as much.
Love this group.
Now, If I can keep the leg elevated and frequently change positions, maybe I can get something done.
Allison
Now, to get gross. I do an awfully lot of coughing. I even take an inhalation med to help thin the mucus. Color indicates how my lung is doing. Green or green gray indicates infection. Pale cream of light yellow indicates things are SOP. Pink or red indicates some bleeding. Now all the colors can be affected by any condition in the throat of the stomach.
Don't you love get a science lesson on a Wednesday....
I had a very sore throat this morning and coughing up a lot. Because I was coughing up pink and an almost red this am I called the nurse and her advice was try to take a cough drop to slow down the coughing. She suspected it was more the sore throat than the cancer which of course was great to hear. Oh, what good advice on the cough drop, because I am not cough as much.
Love this group.
Now, If I can keep the leg elevated and frequently change positions, maybe I can get something done.
Allison
May 27, 2014
The Journey
Hip hurts! Enough said!
Another lesson learned. You can take a job, and divide it into sections, then do part a, then part b, then part c. Okay, so it doesn't get done all in one day, but it does get done. Point taken. My Refrig. I don't remember when I pulled everything out and washed the sucker down completely. So, I decided to start at the bottom and divide it into sections. Each drawer is a section, each shelf is a section, each shelf in the drawer is a section.
Oh, I've cleaned out the food that needed to be tossed so that it got into the garbage each week, and a frequently gave the shelf or drawer a swipe, but not the clean it out and scrub it clean type of cleaning I've always done. But now, section at a time I'm getting it done and it's a good feeling.
Okay, so I can't do a whole lot at one time, but I can do a little bit, rest a while and do a bit more. See! I'm learning. That feels good too! Now if I could figure out how to make that da..... hip stop hurting. At times it feels like what I imagine steel on bone would feel like. Others, how I can imagine what a sharp knife twisting around in the hip might feel like. The meds don't help much. Gotta talk to that poor hospice nurse. She's gonna get tired of my questions and complaints. (sigh) Maybe heat. Haven't tried that yet. Off to find the heating pad.
Allison
Another lesson learned. You can take a job, and divide it into sections, then do part a, then part b, then part c. Okay, so it doesn't get done all in one day, but it does get done. Point taken. My Refrig. I don't remember when I pulled everything out and washed the sucker down completely. So, I decided to start at the bottom and divide it into sections. Each drawer is a section, each shelf is a section, each shelf in the drawer is a section.
Oh, I've cleaned out the food that needed to be tossed so that it got into the garbage each week, and a frequently gave the shelf or drawer a swipe, but not the clean it out and scrub it clean type of cleaning I've always done. But now, section at a time I'm getting it done and it's a good feeling.
Okay, so I can't do a whole lot at one time, but I can do a little bit, rest a while and do a bit more. See! I'm learning. That feels good too! Now if I could figure out how to make that da..... hip stop hurting. At times it feels like what I imagine steel on bone would feel like. Others, how I can imagine what a sharp knife twisting around in the hip might feel like. The meds don't help much. Gotta talk to that poor hospice nurse. She's gonna get tired of my questions and complaints. (sigh) Maybe heat. Haven't tried that yet. Off to find the heating pad.
Allison
