Allison Knight's Blog, page 3
May 25, 2014
The Journey
Today will have to be a slow day. Hip is a problem today. The pill either hasn't kicked in yet, or the pain level has increase. Me, I'm going for the first. I sleep until after six, so the pill have only had about 3 hours... Oh shoot! I guess I'll just grit my teeth today.
I have only two little jobs planned for today. I've decided that if I do one shelf, or one drawer each day, I can get the refrig cleaned by the end of the week. DH and I cleaned the freezer part last week, so time for the other side. Yep! We have a side by side. I really like it, but I have to clean it out once in a while. It needs it, so one shelve or drawer a day and I'll get it done. See what I mean by pacing.
I also have to finish yesterday's blog assignment. That's number two. That will have to be it. I just don't have the energy to attempt any more.
And of course, I'm a Hoosier, and this is race day. I'll be watching a lot of TV.
Allison
I have only two little jobs planned for today. I've decided that if I do one shelf, or one drawer each day, I can get the refrig cleaned by the end of the week. DH and I cleaned the freezer part last week, so time for the other side. Yep! We have a side by side. I really like it, but I have to clean it out once in a while. It needs it, so one shelve or drawer a day and I'll get it done. See what I mean by pacing.
I also have to finish yesterday's blog assignment. That's number two. That will have to be it. I just don't have the energy to attempt any more.
And of course, I'm a Hoosier, and this is race day. I'll be watching a lot of TV.
Allison
May 24, 2014
The Journey
Friday will be our 54th Wedding Anniversary. Six months ago, I didn't think I would make it. Now I'm thinking maybe I'll be able to make our 55th Anniversary. I am leaning (slowly) to pace myself. With today meds and the care you get with organizations like hospice, this process of dying can take a long time with the quality of life you want to have.
Okay, so I can't do what I used to be able to do, but I can do some things. I get to spend time with family, my brain is functioning well (as can be expected - grinning - some might debate the well bit) but I'm able to think about what I need to do and what I want to do, and to plan how to do each without losing my ability to breath.
A long time ago I saw a movie called "Cheaper By the Dozen". It was all about having a big family and how time management was required. I began to see as I try to do things, what time management is all about. I have to think about what I need when I want to do something, the easiest way to do it, organize the method I need to take the least steps to gather supplies and then plan a rest. Wow! Not how I usually did things, but it's how I have to do it now. However, the great part is - I can do it.
So I just left the kitchen after making my DH's favorite potato salad. For want of a different name, I'm going to call it "Polish Potato Salad". It's simple - thank the Lord! I think I'll put the recipe on my web page. But, here's how I got it made. Had DH get out the cooked chilled potatoes and the vinegar. I collected the bowls (I needed two) knives, onion, cutting board, storage bowl, and Hellman's. Then I rested. Next cut up the onion, and the potatoes, and added vinegar to onions and a bit of sugar. then I rested. You see where this is going. But it worked. I have a bowl of potato salad in the refrig. It took an hour but I did it and I'm not gasping for breath. It will be part of our lunches for at least two, maybe three days. If there is any left - probably not, I'll throw it away (Or DH will) Hellman's you put in stuff, you don't keep for a long time.
Maybe if you have trouble breathing you need to stop and rest and learn to pace yourself, as I'm having to learn.
Now, I'm going to the office and work on some overdo blogs that I promised to do. This afternoon, after lunch, I do believe I'll feel good enough to do some work on the next book.
With the right support, the right instructions (referring to yesterday's blog) I am having a number of good days and one after another. This is one happy person. Loving the kind of living I can do now. Enjoying every minute.
Now, off to the office.
Allison
Okay, so I can't do what I used to be able to do, but I can do some things. I get to spend time with family, my brain is functioning well (as can be expected - grinning - some might debate the well bit) but I'm able to think about what I need to do and what I want to do, and to plan how to do each without losing my ability to breath.
A long time ago I saw a movie called "Cheaper By the Dozen". It was all about having a big family and how time management was required. I began to see as I try to do things, what time management is all about. I have to think about what I need when I want to do something, the easiest way to do it, organize the method I need to take the least steps to gather supplies and then plan a rest. Wow! Not how I usually did things, but it's how I have to do it now. However, the great part is - I can do it.
So I just left the kitchen after making my DH's favorite potato salad. For want of a different name, I'm going to call it "Polish Potato Salad". It's simple - thank the Lord! I think I'll put the recipe on my web page. But, here's how I got it made. Had DH get out the cooked chilled potatoes and the vinegar. I collected the bowls (I needed two) knives, onion, cutting board, storage bowl, and Hellman's. Then I rested. Next cut up the onion, and the potatoes, and added vinegar to onions and a bit of sugar. then I rested. You see where this is going. But it worked. I have a bowl of potato salad in the refrig. It took an hour but I did it and I'm not gasping for breath. It will be part of our lunches for at least two, maybe three days. If there is any left - probably not, I'll throw it away (Or DH will) Hellman's you put in stuff, you don't keep for a long time.
Maybe if you have trouble breathing you need to stop and rest and learn to pace yourself, as I'm having to learn.
Now, I'm going to the office and work on some overdo blogs that I promised to do. This afternoon, after lunch, I do believe I'll feel good enough to do some work on the next book.
With the right support, the right instructions (referring to yesterday's blog) I am having a number of good days and one after another. This is one happy person. Loving the kind of living I can do now. Enjoying every minute.
Now, off to the office.
Allison
May 23, 2014
The Journey
Boys, these older nurses sure have the answers. Mind made a suggestion about some of my meds yesterday when she visited, and was she right. She suggested I take one of the pills I kinda held back on at a different time before I attempted some of the things I was trying to do. Then she showed me how to figure the rest time and when. Today I actually think I'll be around for awhile.
I've even managed a few phone calls which have been problems because talking takes a lot of wind, something I'm running short on. I am so glad I took the advise of a good friend and changed companies. It looks like it's going to make a big difference,
On top of helping me with my shower and washing my hair, my health aid change our bed. That was no small chore, for we have the big, heavy, new (so we are not getting rid of it) mattress. Of course, it's king size and I wouldn't want to guess how much it weighs. A lot! Our sweet granddaughter was coming up to the house to change it for us, which meant bundling up her toddler - one very active little guy (loved dearly by his great grandparents) to change our bed for us, because neither DH or I could do it. Even stopping to rest every few seconds. Just can't do those things anymore.
Something to think about as you age. Do you have a big, heavy mattress that you'll have to lift when you get older?
At least today I feel like I can get whole bunches done. Oh, it's a good feeling. So I better thank all you of offering up a prayer or two. See! They do work.
Off to work on the next book.
Allison
I've even managed a few phone calls which have been problems because talking takes a lot of wind, something I'm running short on. I am so glad I took the advise of a good friend and changed companies. It looks like it's going to make a big difference,
On top of helping me with my shower and washing my hair, my health aid change our bed. That was no small chore, for we have the big, heavy, new (so we are not getting rid of it) mattress. Of course, it's king size and I wouldn't want to guess how much it weighs. A lot! Our sweet granddaughter was coming up to the house to change it for us, which meant bundling up her toddler - one very active little guy (loved dearly by his great grandparents) to change our bed for us, because neither DH or I could do it. Even stopping to rest every few seconds. Just can't do those things anymore.
Something to think about as you age. Do you have a big, heavy mattress that you'll have to lift when you get older?
At least today I feel like I can get whole bunches done. Oh, it's a good feeling. So I better thank all you of offering up a prayer or two. See! They do work.
Off to work on the next book.
Allison
May 21, 2014
The Journey
One more day and it will be finished. Oh, not me. I intend to go on for a time yet. I have this other book to work on. But Lovesong should be finished today.
I do think with this new Hospice organization and I believe have the meds program down now. Oh, there's some pain, but with the right med at the right time, I'm controlling the pain well., even that stupid hip. Now if I could figure out how to do more at a time, I've have it made.
I get very tired, very quickly if I try to walk around and do things. I tried to run the sweeper the other day. Mistake! I can't do it. Cooking is problem also, but I'm learning which frozen foods are good and which dinners taste like sh---.
Today is laundry. Since DH likes to dump everything in the machine at once, I really have to supervise. Time to stuff the washing machine and then go to work on the last of the book. Hooray.
Maybe tomorrow I can start on Once More.
Off to the laundry room.
Allison
I do think with this new Hospice organization and I believe have the meds program down now. Oh, there's some pain, but with the right med at the right time, I'm controlling the pain well., even that stupid hip. Now if I could figure out how to do more at a time, I've have it made.
I get very tired, very quickly if I try to walk around and do things. I tried to run the sweeper the other day. Mistake! I can't do it. Cooking is problem also, but I'm learning which frozen foods are good and which dinners taste like sh---.
Today is laundry. Since DH likes to dump everything in the machine at once, I really have to supervise. Time to stuff the washing machine and then go to work on the last of the book. Hooray.
Maybe tomorrow I can start on Once More.
Off to the laundry room.
Allison
May 20, 2014
The Journey
Hee, hee. I'm learning. You take the pain meds before the pain gets bad. And the one med I take is
really hard on the stomach. You need food with it to coat your stomach. So here I am at 4 or 5 in the morning sitting on the edge of my bed, eating a cookie so I can take the meds to keep the pain at a comfortable level when I get up a couple of hours later.
But I still feel a little silly eating a cookie in the dark in the middle of the night - well almost. However, it is working so I AM NOT complaining.
Still working on the book. One last go round and I'll be ready for the copy edits. Then I can do the booklets. So that's moving alone.
And I'm wondering whether I should ask my husband or my oldest son to drive me to the cemetery I've pick and look at the section where they will put my remains. Sound gross? Nah. I won't be there, but I would like to see what it looks like. We've driven by the place a hundred, maybe a thousand times, but never inside. I'm just curious. However, will I freak out the DH or the kid the most? I'll have to think about that for a while.
Now back to the book. I want it finished today.
Allison
really hard on the stomach. You need food with it to coat your stomach. So here I am at 4 or 5 in the morning sitting on the edge of my bed, eating a cookie so I can take the meds to keep the pain at a comfortable level when I get up a couple of hours later.
But I still feel a little silly eating a cookie in the dark in the middle of the night - well almost. However, it is working so I AM NOT complaining.
Still working on the book. One last go round and I'll be ready for the copy edits. Then I can do the booklets. So that's moving alone.
And I'm wondering whether I should ask my husband or my oldest son to drive me to the cemetery I've pick and look at the section where they will put my remains. Sound gross? Nah. I won't be there, but I would like to see what it looks like. We've driven by the place a hundred, maybe a thousand times, but never inside. I'm just curious. However, will I freak out the DH or the kid the most? I'll have to think about that for a while.
Now back to the book. I want it finished today.
Allison
May 19, 2014
The Journey
Monday morning, and the sun is shining. Back is still a problem but manageable if I can remember my pills, Got to figure out a way to know when I took what. DH likes charts however, I find them useless, because I forgot to either look or mark. (sighing) I just don't have an engineering mind.
So far the new Hospice has been wonderful. This is the start of a new week and we will see how we do. I have much to edit on the novel, but I going to work on it today, DH is doing lunch so I should get a lot done. Crossing fingers here. And now that I have a firm pub date, I need to start the promo
info. I have a lot I need to get caught up on. These last two months have really messed me up, but I'm
getting back on track. Having goals and plans gives you something to work for and therefore something to live for.
I willingly admit I would rather not die at this moment. But God knows that, and knows I'll accept his dictate. (grinning) We really don't have much choice do we. We can do ourselves in, or let Him have the finally word. Since I really would like to spend eternity with Him, I'll let him have the finally word.
Me, I'm a coward. With all the descriptions of hell that I've read or heard, I don't think I want to go there. No, I know I don't want to go there.
So with that happy thought I'm off to the office to finish Lovesong. I really need to get going on Once More My Love. It should be a lot of fun.
Allison
So far the new Hospice has been wonderful. This is the start of a new week and we will see how we do. I have much to edit on the novel, but I going to work on it today, DH is doing lunch so I should get a lot done. Crossing fingers here. And now that I have a firm pub date, I need to start the promo
info. I have a lot I need to get caught up on. These last two months have really messed me up, but I'm
getting back on track. Having goals and plans gives you something to work for and therefore something to live for.
I willingly admit I would rather not die at this moment. But God knows that, and knows I'll accept his dictate. (grinning) We really don't have much choice do we. We can do ourselves in, or let Him have the finally word. Since I really would like to spend eternity with Him, I'll let him have the finally word.
Me, I'm a coward. With all the descriptions of hell that I've read or heard, I don't think I want to go there. No, I know I don't want to go there.
So with that happy thought I'm off to the office to finish Lovesong. I really need to get going on Once More My Love. It should be a lot of fun.
Allison
May 18, 2014
The Journey
Well, dang it, I didn't get the edits done as quickly as they hoped. I have sure slowed down. But I can proudly say a firm date has been set for "Lovesong" It will be a July release. Now my web mistress has to get everything changed (Good thing it's my geek granddaughter who does this for a living or I'd have a hopping mad mistress about now. Granddaughter knows not to get upset with me. I have things she wants. Books and things.... (big grin))
In the meantime I have a few more changes, maybe half a dozen and we are done with this book. Of course, I have already started the next book and now that I have a decent hospice organization to offer the kind of support I need, I think I will get this one done and I might even get the Phoebe anthologies written. Now those should be a blast. Looking forward to starting those.
Which means, I best get off my behind, and into the office and finish the last little bits that need to be done.
Wonder if I can teach DH how to make the perfect steak today? Easy Peasy when you know the rules. Hmmmmm Interesting thought.
Off to the office to fix the final bits.
Allison
In the meantime I have a few more changes, maybe half a dozen and we are done with this book. Of course, I have already started the next book and now that I have a decent hospice organization to offer the kind of support I need, I think I will get this one done and I might even get the Phoebe anthologies written. Now those should be a blast. Looking forward to starting those.
Which means, I best get off my behind, and into the office and finish the last little bits that need to be done.
Wonder if I can teach DH how to make the perfect steak today? Easy Peasy when you know the rules. Hmmmmm Interesting thought.
Off to the office to fix the final bits.
Allison
May 17, 2014
The Journey
Doing better. What a difference when you know you have someone on your side. The nurse who came yesterday, listened to my complaints, made some notes and call the director Doctor who by the way is a geriatric doctor. She contacted him after she went back to her office to affirm that the meds I was taking and the way I was taking them would work, although others insisted I should not be taking what and when as I was doing.
At eight fifteen last night, she called to tell me she had talked to the doctor, they had discussed the situation, and what I was doing which was working for me, was just fine. Their goal is to make me as pain free and as comfortable as they can as I continue with as much as I can do. To help, I now have a neat wheel chair that I can handle when walking is a bit much. In fact today, my DH and I went to the grocery. First time out of the house in over two weeks.
The hospice organization you select is probably one of the most important part of this dying process. Even my husband has relaxed, because he knows I'm now getting the support I need. Imagine, someone calling you after eight on a Friday night just to reassure you. I think I made a wise choice with this group.
Of course, breathing is hard at times, but this goes with the game. At least I can move around, I don't have to crawl into a bed and wait to die. It's called 'count your blessings'. I can look forward to more time to finish up things that need to be done. So, I'll bow my head and thank the Lord and thank all of you who are praying for and with me. I really do appreciate it. And know you are in my prayers as well, even if I don't know who you are.
Allison
At eight fifteen last night, she called to tell me she had talked to the doctor, they had discussed the situation, and what I was doing which was working for me, was just fine. Their goal is to make me as pain free and as comfortable as they can as I continue with as much as I can do. To help, I now have a neat wheel chair that I can handle when walking is a bit much. In fact today, my DH and I went to the grocery. First time out of the house in over two weeks.
The hospice organization you select is probably one of the most important part of this dying process. Even my husband has relaxed, because he knows I'm now getting the support I need. Imagine, someone calling you after eight on a Friday night just to reassure you. I think I made a wise choice with this group.
Of course, breathing is hard at times, but this goes with the game. At least I can move around, I don't have to crawl into a bed and wait to die. It's called 'count your blessings'. I can look forward to more time to finish up things that need to be done. So, I'll bow my head and thank the Lord and thank all of you who are praying for and with me. I really do appreciate it. And know you are in my prayers as well, even if I don't know who you are.
Allison
May 16, 2014
The Journey
What a difference a new organization makes. Although I'm still working hard to breath, I feel like I have someone on my team willing to help if I need help. Yesterday the Home health card aide came and she couldn't have been any nicer. She refused to let me do a thing, because if I did it, I would wear myself out. She's right, that was exactly what I was doing. She took over, saying some called her a drill sergeant but that's fine with me, because when she got finished, I wasn't worn to a frizzle like before.
With the exception of the hip, which doesn't believe in not letting me know it a problem 24/7, and the struggling to breath, and yes, it does get to be a struggle at times, I don't feel bad at all. I'm managing to get things done, and with the aid of a wheel chair, I should be even better off. Getting up and down and walking, bent over a bit and pushing a rotator (or whatever they are called) is not as easy if you are working to breath.
The new hospice nurse will be here in a bit, but already the chaplain, the night nurse, the social worker have all visited. This blows me away. These people are 'Johnny on the spot'. I liking this organization.
Allison
With the exception of the hip, which doesn't believe in not letting me know it a problem 24/7, and the struggling to breath, and yes, it does get to be a struggle at times, I don't feel bad at all. I'm managing to get things done, and with the aid of a wheel chair, I should be even better off. Getting up and down and walking, bent over a bit and pushing a rotator (or whatever they are called) is not as easy if you are working to breath.
The new hospice nurse will be here in a bit, but already the chaplain, the night nurse, the social worker have all visited. This blows me away. These people are 'Johnny on the spot'. I liking this organization.
Allison
May 15, 2014
The Journey
The new hospice appears to be great. The meds I needed are here already, the volunteers are already calling to make appointments, and my meds are being scheduled with the help of my primary doctor, which didn't appear to happen with the other hospice organization.
Except for the hip the pain is only uncomfortable. But the hip is going to screaming stage at times. I should have had the cap replaced a couple of years ago, so this is my fault. I going to need some strong meds to manage the pain.
Today started tough! but with the right meds I can manage. I do have work to do, so I gotta get to it.
I need to clean out the freezer.
More tomorrow.
Allison
Except for the hip the pain is only uncomfortable. But the hip is going to screaming stage at times. I should have had the cap replaced a couple of years ago, so this is my fault. I going to need some strong meds to manage the pain.
Today started tough! but with the right meds I can manage. I do have work to do, so I gotta get to it.
I need to clean out the freezer.
More tomorrow.
Allison
