Marc L. Latham's Blog, page 48

Denise van Outen: Elle Movie Part is Hers

Hi, it’s Greenygrey, with the penultimate chapter of the tremendous travel-tale set in the real Victoria, Australia town of Kerang and the rock and metal magazine Kerrang. This chapter is dedicated to the dark lord comic book persona of Ozzy Osbourne, who we weren’t too keen on when he was biting animals’ heads off, but overall he seems a nice character, and a heavy metal legend who has enjoyed renewed success with Black Sabbath this year.

Denise van Outen nice outfit, looking tired.

Denise van Outen and Elle McPherson 

This chapter also sees Elle come into her own, with some great body action to trip Ozzy up. It reminded us of Denise van Outen, whom we have admired since her days on the Big Breakfast with Johnny Vaughan in the 1990s, which is of course one of the decades of this Kerang-Kerrang travel tale.

Denise has been accused of playing the media celebrity game lately, but Wolf Whitzer hasn’t received any evidence of this from his news sources, so we’re keeping an open mind, and concentrating on her keeping in great shape and admirably showing off her fine legs amongst this stylish greenygreyish outfit.

Yep, we think she could play the Elle part if the Werewolf of Oz: Fantasy Travel by Google Maps ever makes it to the movie screen. Here’s the Ozzy and Elle comedy satire love story:

Chapter 92.  Ozzy Osbourne’s Blizzard of Ozz

As we emerged out of the Whiskey a Go-Go I saw a cloaked figure acting suspiciously in the shadows. The next thing, it was barking at the moon, and I became more than a tad worried. Was it some kind of lone-human werewolf?

Ozzy Osbourne’s Blizzard of Ozz 

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Cover of Blizzard of Ozz

Less than a minute later I felt a chilly wind on my back as a blizzard blew up out of nowhere. The shadowy figure shouted that Oz was no place for a dog, and he was going to take it to Ozz, which had 33.33% more room because of the extra z.

I realised it was the 1980s Ozzy Osbourne. With his reputation for biting the heads off creatures I thought Angry’s dog might be in great peril.

Elle Uses Her Body to Great Effect 

Denise van Outen nice outfit, hiding tiredness.

My concern seemed justified when Ozzy sprang out of the shadows singing Steal Away (The Night). Angry was still buzzing from his performance and seemed oblivious to Ozzy’s overshadowing omnipotent obtrusiveness.

Ozzy looked certain to reach Angry’s dog and snatch it away to a cold dog’s life in Blizzardy Ozz, until Elle stuck out a leg and tripped him up. A Crazy Train was passing through town on the way to the 1990s, and Elle quickly threw Ozzy on board. I thought it was a great use of her body.

Ozzy seemed impressed as well, and shouted to Elle that it wasn’t too late to join him. Elle responded with a ‘No thanks!’ This prompted Ozzy to sing Goodbye to Romance. I felt sorry for him then, but he seemed to have recovered before disappearing from earshot, as the last thing I heard him sing was, No More Tears.

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Notes

Ozzy Osbourne and solo band name/album, songs: Blizzard of Ozz, Steal Away (The Night), Crazy Train, Goodbye to Romance, No More Tears.

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Link for multiple Ereaders at Smashwords.

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Werewolf of Oz Time-Travel Tale Whams Whiskey-a-Go-Go

Hi, it’s Greenygrey. You might have thought the thrilling time-travel tale in Kerang-Kerrang was all over after the Alician ending told in yesterday’s blog, but like in many a good tale told in books and movies, it’s not quite the end of the tale.

Suddenly (Angry Anderson song) (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Nope, before the Werewolf of Ozzers can continue eating up the miles on their epic Werewolf of Oz: Fantasy Travel by Google Maps journey there’s the not so small matter of getting Angry to the Whiskey-a-Go-Go in time to save trash metal; set up in Chapter 84. Meanwhile, Angry finds a puppy that becomes relevant in a later Perishers-themed chapter; that storyline was inspired by the photo that is used again below.

Wham, bam, werewolf comedy slam, here we go to the Oz 1960s-1990s time travel town:

Chapter 91.  No Rest for the Licked: it’s All Go, to Whiskey A GO-GO

We turned the corner of the Temple of the Dog, just as the spirit of Andrew Wood Thru Fade Away with a Gentle Groove. We could see no sign of the Grunginator, just a Man In The Box.

Remembering Angry’s Appearance at the Whiskey a Go-Go 

Angry Chair (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

I was feeling drained, plum knackered in fact, so I lay down on the temple steps. I was about to drop off, when I heard Dizzy exclaim:

‘I’m waking you up

before to sleep you go-go,

there’s no time to rest

so Wham is a necessary pest,

Angry was supposed to be on floor

of the Whiskey a Go-Go

over an hour ago.’

It had completely slipped my mind, and seemed Rock of Ages since I’d seen the Whiskey a Go-Go poster advertising Angry’s appearance.

Rushing Angry to the Whiskey a Go-Go 

We rushed back to the 1980s, and arrived at the Whiskey a Go-Go in next to no-no time, pronto.

Angry Anderson, a singlet, a puppy and a boot. (Photo credit: Gribiche)

The crowd roared raucously as Angry took to the stage. The show went brilliantly, and Angry surprised us all at the end when he magicked a puppy out of his boot, telling the crowd it was a gift from the Temple of the Dog. I didn’t see Angry receive it; maybe I did drop off before Dizzy’s wake-up call.

Angry left the stage to resounding cheers, surely having fulfilled his destiny to inspire the LA metallers.

It had been hard work, and downright dangerous at times, but it was rewarding to think we’d played a small part in saving trash metal.

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Notes

Angry’s puppy was inspired by a Zemanta photo of Angry Anderson holding a puppy.

Mother Love Bone songs: Thru Fade Away, Gentle Groove.

Alice in Chains and song: Man In The Box.

Wham and song: Wake Me Up Before You Go-Go.

Rock of Ages is a musical.

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Link for multiple Ereaders at Smashwords.

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Terminator to Blade Runner through Mother Love Bone

Hi, it’s Greenygrey. Here’s the next beyond thrilling episode of Werewolf of Oz: Fantasy Travel by Google, which sees the denouement of the Grunginator grunge rock Terminator tale that burst into the Kerang-Kerrang time-travel town back in Chapter 82.

Grunge Rock and Trash Metal, Terminator and Blade Runner 

Blade Runner: Pris (Photo credit: Traumatron Illustration)

This episode travels through a series of Mother Love Bone songs to a conclusion based on another classic 1980s sci-fi movie, Blade Runner; whereas the Terminator was all machine, Blade Runner featured android assassin replicants that were more human.

After Andrew Wood uses his grunge icon status and deductive reasoning (Marc Latham’s PhD was useful there) to reach the Grunginator; convincing it that Axl Rose shouldn’t be blamed for everything; the story ends with an Alice in Wonderland and Alice in Chains Alice mix after a pastiche of the leading Blade Runner android assassin antagonist’s final speech. Enjoy!

Chapter 90.  Andrew Wood Converts Terminator to Blade Runner 

Andrew Wood looked at us, and then farther down the cobbled criss-crossed streets, where the Grunginator was fast approaching. Wood motioned us behind the temple, before putting his right arm up in the air while singing to the advancing robot: ‘Stop right there Captain Hi-Top, because this has gone on long enough, you ain’t been programmed right, and you need to tighten up your screws.’

Axl Rose not to Blame for Kurt Cobain’s Death 

Blade Runner 1982 (Photo credit: Dallas1200am)

The Grunginator stopped, and seemed to show emotion for the first time. Did a tear roll down from its lid, or was it percolator perspiration? It was hard to tell through the swirling mists enveloping the Temple of the Dog.

The Grunginator looked up at Wood, saying ‘I know you are a friend, as all the Seattle music heroes have been installed in my memory. But I know not what I do, only what Frank Grungenstein programmed in me.’

Wood looked down with sympathy, before telling it, ‘I can see your Heartshine, but they programmed you with biased and incomplete information; blaming Axl Rose for Kurt Cobain’s early death, and sending you back to the 1980s to eliminate him. Just look at me and my life; I never had no beef with Rose, but I also died tragically young.’

Terminator to Blade Runner 

With that, the Grunginator seemed to calm down, and called for a time-out coffee break. It made a couple of cappuccinos for itself and Wood and they sat down on the temple steps.

Down in a Hole (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

It all seemed to be calming down, but then Alice in Chains fell out of the sky, singing Down In A Hole. Alice looked doomed, but the Grunginator reached out its handles and caught them.

The Grunginator looked into the eyes of Alice, before saying: ‘I’ve seen things you people wouldn’t believe: Faster Pussycat screeching on stage at the Rainbow Bar and Grill; I’ve watched Seasick Steve die in a dark shared with Love/Hate. A poison-dart-frog glowing in the Italian Job; Janis and Jimi running wild in the 1970s streets. All those moments will be lost in time, like tears in rain. Time to fly.’

And with that it released Alice’s chains, and Alice flew over the Sea of Sorrow to Nirvana.

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Notes

The Grunginator speech is a pastiche of one in the Blade Runner film. In Blade Runner, the replicant Roy Batty delivered the following soliloquy after saving the hero, who was its previous target: ‘I’ve seen things you people wouldn’t believe: Attack ships on fire off the shoulder of Orion; I’ve watched C-beams glitter in the dark near the Tannhauser Gate. All those moments will be lost in time, like tears in rain. Time to die.’

Captain Hi-Top and Heartshine are Mother Love Bone songs.

Axl Rose is the singer in Guns N’ Roses. He and Kurt Cobain didn’t get along.

Alice in Chains and songs: Down In A Hole, Sea of Sorrow.

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Link for multiple Ereaders at Smashwords.

 

 

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Mother Love Bone and Pearl Jam Grunge Revival

Hi, it’s Greenygrey. Here’s the next thrilling episode (number 10) of the story within a story Kerang-Kerrang 1960s-1990s rock music time-travel classic epic within Werewolf of Oz: Fantasy Travel by Google Maps epic classic. While grunge fans might have hated the story so far, they might like it from now on…

Mother Love Bone and Pearl Jam 

Mother Love Bone, clockwise from left: Bruce Fairweather, Stone Gossard, Greg Gilmore, Jeff Ament and Andrew Wood (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

This episode sees the troubled time-travellers return to the Temple of the Dog, and its relevance to the story revealed. This Temple of the Dog refers to the Mother Love Bone song rather than the band.

Two members of Pearl Jam (Stone Gossard and Jeff Ament) originated in Mother Love Bone, and later hired singer Eddie Vedder, so Pearl Jam probably wouldn’t have existed if tortured genius MLB singer Andrew Wood hadn’t ended his time-travelling tragically early; instead overdosing on heroin. Here’s the episode:

Chapter 89.  Andrew Wood and the Temple of the Dog

We re-entered the British Quarter, but couldn’t lose the Grunginator, and it seemed to be gaining. Its newly discovered hopping technique made it look a lot quicker and scarier than when it relied on its old robotic movement.

It also seemed to be creating and distributing more poison darts per-minute, and one was surely to hit the target before long.

Temple of the Dog Brings Out Spirit, Mind and Body 

We were passing the Temple of the Dog, which was damaged but still standing, when Cathy sensed a spirit there. I hoped it was another sign of Cathy returning to her peak spirit level.

Elle McPherson (Photo credit: nechbi)

I suggested trying to reach Andrew Wood, as he’d sung about a temple of the dog with Mother Love Bone, and might be able to reason with the Grunginator.

Angry pointed out that Wood became famous in Seattle rather than Britain, but said it was worth a try. I thought it was a good use of Angry’s mind, showing knowledge and diplomacy.

Meanwhile, Elle was protecting us from the poison darts with her body. This was an incredible use of her body, and she certainly seemed to be getting her confidence back.

Dizzy Reaches Spirit of Wood with a Keyboard Tune 

Shine (Mother Love Bone album) (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Dizzy unpacked his portable keyboard to play Mother Love Bone tunes he thought might tempt the spirit of Wood into our time and place in Kerang-Kerrang.

He started with a great version of This is Shangri-la, but there was no movement around the temple. Stardog Champion was next, and my hopes rose with the mist swirling out of the temple base during the second half of the song. Was this the beginning of something special? It gathered pace, and soon the temple was hardly visible.

Eureka, as Dizzy finished off Man of Golden Words, the spirit of Andrew Wood appeared above the Temple of the Dog.

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Notes

Andrew Wood was the lead singer of Mother Love Bone. He died in 1990.

Mother Love Bone songs explained within the narrative.

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Link for multiple Ereaders at Smashwords.

 

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Germany Learn Historic Lessons to Deny Norway and Werewolf

Hi, it’s Greenygrey. Congratulations to the paralympians who brought the Olympics 2012 Anniversary Games to an exciting conclusion; and Germany‘s women, who won the European women’s football championship for the sixth time in a row yesterday.

Commiserations to the Norwegian women, who played great football, took defeat sportingly and like their fjord-filled land, looked lovely.

Nadine Angerer‘s Historic GG? Goalie Display

Nadine Angerer saves first Norwegian penalty.

A special mention for German goalie Nadine Angerer, who made all those not wanting Germany to win a little angry.

Angerer seemed to have learned from the British example during the Blitz, and Russian example at Stalingrad, as she heroically defended the German goal. That included two penalty saves, with the second one particularly good.

While it was nearly all down to Angerer’s amazing ability, maybe just a little bit was down to her looking quite greenygrey… and werewolfish. 

Nadine Angerer and Werewolf of Oz Link 

Brisbane Roar FC (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Nadine Angerer currently plays football for the Brisbane Roar in Oz, with roar of course a lion version of a wolf and human noise; and Martin ‘Werewolfie’ Adams was of course talking in Oz time yesterday when he said he hoped for a friendly game ‘tonight’.

We hope that didn’t make you miss the afternoon kick-off in Europe; or maybe you’re glad you did if you wanted Norway to win.

Werewolf of Oz Week 

And we hope you didn’t miss the latest episode of Werewolf of Oz: Fantasy Travel by Google Maps, which was delayed because of all the sporting and comedy activity.

I’ve got some bad and good news for all Werewolf of Oz diehards. The bad news is that the next episode won’t appear until tomorrow, but the good news is that we’re going to follow it with the next three episodes on the following three days; to the end of the Kerang-Kerrang time-travel story.

Link for Amazon book and kindle.

So please relax your position on the edge of the seat Werewolf of Ozzers, and return tomorrow for the next bumper thrilling episode of WoO.

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Women’s Euro Football Final and Olympics 2012 Anniversary Games

Hi, it’s Martin ‘Werewolfie’ Adams, comedy satire sports correspondent at the Greenygrey. Yes, it’s really me today. I was of course cited as the correspondent responsible for yesterday’s blog, when it was really ol’ Wolf Whitzer.

Newsroom Time Pressures

Our news editing team are under severe time pressures, trying to finish the job as quickly as possible to enjoy more time in the sun, so it is understandable.

Although the newsroom got all the science and reference links right, they also let ‘several’ appear twice in the last paragraph.

We have now rectified those mistakes, so on with the sport…

European Women’s Football Championships

Tonight sees the Germany v Norway women’s football championships final. At Greenygrey sports we are of course adamantly Norwegian, um, I mean neutral… like Sweden in World War Two, but that didn’t stop Germany invading… sorry, about that, no more Basil Fawlty World War Two references impressions (the YouTube video is embedded at the end though, in the knowledge that most Germans find it very funny).

We’re hoping for a friendly game providing a good example of women’s football tonight, and it looks set for a great spectacle within the gorgeously greenygrey Friends stadium in Solna, Stockholm; as shown in Sally Nugent‘s report this morning:

Sally Nugent reports from Stockholm’s Friends Arena.

Olympics 2012 Anniversary Games

There was another great greenygrey scene at the London U.K. Olympics 2012 Anniversary Games on Friday night, as the sunset brought the best out of the greenygrey:

 

Olympics 2012 Anniversary Games.

A star of Team GG in Olympics 2012, Usain Bolt, made a dramatic greenygrey entrance to the stadium:

Usain Bolt’s greenygrey entrance at Olympics 2012 Annivesary Games.

Later, there was a great debut Team GG performance by Nick Symmonds, as he won the 800m:

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Full Moon Affects Human Sleep Scientists Discover

Hi, it’s Wolf Whitzer, intrepid newshound at the Greenygrey with a Greenygrey News (GNN) newsflash.

Full Moon Affects Human Body, Mind and Sleep

While it has of course been known in the werewolf world that the full moon is very important to critters and creatures living on the surface of planet Earth, there is now some scientific evidence about it in the human world.

As reported in the Medical News Today article Full moon affects not only werewolves but human sleep too scientists in Switzerland have found that volunteers un-a-were of when a full moon was occurring still had the following reactions to a full moon:

Brain activity associated with deep sleep (during non-rapid eye movement) fell by nearly a third,
On average it took the volunteers 5 minutes longer to fall asleep, and their sleep was 20 minutes shorter, and
There was a drop in levels of melatonin, a protein that helps regulate sleep and wake cycles.

Overview of biological circadian clock in humans. Biological clock affects the daily rhythm of many physiological processes. This diagram depicts the circadian patterns typical of someone who rises early in morning, eats lunch around noon, and sleeps at night (10 p.m.). Although circadian rhythms tend to be synchronized with cycles of light and dark, other factors – such as ambient temperature, meal times, stress and exercise – can influence the timing as well. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

This seems in line with the circadian rhythm, which has featured in several articles and poems on this website before.

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Women’s European Championships Round-Up: Germany v Norway Final

Hi, it’s Martin ‘Werewolfie’ Adams, comedy satire sports correspondent at the Greenygrey with a not so funny round-up from the women’s European Championships (not reflecting a lack of humour in women). Congratulations to the Norway women, who qualified for Sunday’s European Championships final last night with a penalty-kicks win over the plucky Danes.

Eidfjord war memorial

Eidfjord Norway Photos 

It is now left to the Norwegians to provide resistance to German domination of the competition.

Maybe they can take inspiration from the World War Two Norwegian resistance, who are remembered in one of Marc Latham’s Eidfjord photos from the t25y.wordpress.com website.

Not that the German women are like the World War Two German men who invaded Scandinavia. And a lot of them were just normal people really; just caught up in the whirlwind that had gripped their political system.

German Confidence Helps them Win 

Heidi Klum modeling at The Heart Truth Fashion Show 2008 (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Although the German women have dominated the competition by winning the last five championships, and seven of the last eight, with only a Norway victory interrupting the sequence, the Germans were under strength in this competition, with several players out injured.

So the Germans did well to defeat the Swedish hosts 1-0 in the other semi-final, with the occasion seeming to get to the Swedish players; along with a dubious refereeing decision disallowing their goal when they did get the ball in the German net.

To try and avoid a John Inverdalism, in the perilous territory of men reporting women’s sports, we have used a photo of German model Heidi Klum above, rather than any of the German women’s football team; that’s not to say there aren’t any ‘lookers’ on the German team, it’s just to avoid allegations of ‘sexism’ or ‘favouritism’.

We Love Scandinavian Women  

English: Map showing two of the common definitions of “Scandinavia”; a cultural, historical and ethno-linguistic region in northern Europe: the most common usage: the three monarchies; Denmark, Norway and Sweden an extended usage: including Finland, Iceland and the Faroe Islands (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Sweden has provided an excellent championships, with the crowd support reflecting their position as one of the top gender equality countries in the world.

Norway is just ahead of Sweden in the 2012 rankings (third and fourth), while Germany is surprisingly down in thirteenth. Iceland and Finland are the top two. Ireland and New Zealand are fifth and sixth, before the other Scandinavia country, Denmark.

The U.K. is down in 18th, surprisingly one place above Cuba, which I thought would be higher with their socialist system. Another surprise to me is that the U.S.A. is down in 22nd.

 

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George Alexander Louis and Natural Growth Dynamics

Hi, it’s Greenygrey. The royal baby boy has been named George Alexander Louis, which is quite close to our choice of Greenygrey Aethelwulf Thunderylightning.

Royal Baby Boy Name 

Royal baby boy after Kate and William brought him out of hospital.

George starts with a G and is about as close as you can get to Greenygrey in the human world, apart from maybe Gregory.

Alexander starts with an A like Aethelwulf, while Louis starts with an L like lightning. So not bad by the royals, I’ll score them a G+.

The news reporter said George can change his name if he wants to when he is older. Maybe the human world will be ready for a Greenygrey by then?

Nature Poem Treks Through Canopy

I noticed there’s a new Marc Latham folding mirror poem over at fmpoetry.wordpress.com. It has a trek through a jungle half way up its trees as its central theme and middle line, and is an old idea rekindled by seeing this photo:

The top half of the poem is in the jungle canopy, with a little liquid and sunlight able to pass through the thick vegetation.

Comparing Different Entities

Human Body and Universal Workings Comparison

The bottom half tells how this is used to create and sustain those living on and just above the jungle floor. This fits in with Marc’s ant theory.

Similar to ant theory, which compared human and ant societies, there was a good article about natural growth dynamics (brought to our attention by Tess Gurney posting it on Facebook) recently that highlighted the similarities between the evolution of the human brain and the universe. The image above links to it.

Canopy Climb, View Sublime

pitter patter, pitter patter

cloud to canopy refresher

rain rolls down

royal jungle crown

rolling tandem with sunlight

freefalling natural energy

creators, quenchers, sustainers

trekking through treetops; howlers’ horseplay hops

creatives, absorbers, communicators

photosynthesising life giving

nutrients nourish earth dwellers

foraging forest floor

strange goings on

fungi and trees collaborate

chitter chatter, chitter chatter

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Werewolf of Oz Escapes Royal Baby Naming Media Frenzy

Link for Amazon book and kindle.

Hi, it’s Greenygrey. As Kate and William decide whether to call the new royal baby boy Prince Greenygrey Aethelwulf Thunderylightning I or something else, we thought it would be a great time to post the first episode of Werewolf of Oz: Fantasy Travel by Google Maps this week. 

We think this book is the perfect souvenir to remember this momentous royal family week.

This episode starts with the classic Italian Job line set up in the last episode, before taking a trip through the 1970s with a Jimi Hendrix and Janis Joplin street map. The Grunginator’s encounter with poison dart frog barman Croker unfortunately only seems to increase its powers, after its percolator origins are used for comedic effect.

Chapter 88.  Surviving the 1970s with the Help of Jimi and Janis

Charlie Croker bellow-croaked: ‘You were only supposed to blow the Beatles Doors off, I’m quite fond of the Stones!’

Poison Dart Frog Sitting on a Leaf (Photo credit: MoleSon²)

Then he started shooting poison darts at the Grunginator like PDF files printed from a high-range printer. But the Grunginator simply opened its lid and percolated them.

Dizzy shouted to us, ‘We’d better getta bloomin’ move on, it’s time for a bit of self-preservation.’ We legged it out the back.

Jimi Hendrix and Janis Joplin Help Us Escape the 1970s 

Cover of Gypsy Sun and Rainbows

We had trouble making our way across the Crosstown Traffic until a Wild Thing shouted Hey Joe, and then showed us the way to Freedom, All Along the Watchtower. He was heading to the Valley of Neptune, and wished us luck.

We walked a couple of blocks, and were getting lost again, until A Woman Left Lonely by Bobby McGee picked us up in a Mercedes-Benz.

Cover of Janis Joplin

After telling us her story she asked where we wanted to go. Dizzy asked to be dropped off on the corner of the 1970s and 1980s. We thanked her before she drove off into Summer.

Grunginator is Alive and Well

I was just starting to relax again when I heard a flurry of gunfire. We ducked down while looking around, and saw the Grunginator hopping down the street a couple of blocks away. We looked at each other, and shared a not again! expression.

We started running in the other direction. Dizzy informed us that the Grunginator was programmed to incorporate any new skills it encountered. I had a primary example of that a minute later, when a poison dart whizzed past my left lug.

Dizzy said we’d better skedaddle back to the 1980s pronto, so we did. It was a relief to be back in the eighties, even though our futures were still hanging by a grungy doc marten lace.

Smashwords link for multiple Ereaders.

 

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Notes

Italian Job quote (You’re only supposed to blow the bloody doors off!) and song (Get a Bloomin’ Move On [The Self Preservation Society]).

Jimi Hendrix songs and album: Crosstown Traffic, Wild Thing, Hey Joe, Freedom, All Along the Watchtower, Valley of Neptune.

Janis Joplin songs: A Woman Left Lonely, Bobby McGee, Mercedes-Benz, Summer.

Hanging by a thread is a common idiom describing: chances running out.

Doc marten boots were a part of the grunge fashion that grew out of the music; although the fashion was not usually endorsed by the original grunge musicians.

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