Chris Maley's Blog, page 15

#fakecivilwar

Attention, world: my country has issues. Issues that have been ignored for too long. Hey there, world. You know those people from my country who travel to your country and visit the nearest McDonald’s and order Big Macs and then rant about how the Big Macs don’t taste as good in your country as the […]

Micro-aggression gone masculine.

Bootlicking chickenhawks are itchin’ to dial 911…oops, excuse me…to start a “civil war.” You know those fellas who refer to themselves as “alpha males”? Guess what? They’re not alpha males.  The self-described sheepdogs are full of sheepdogshit when they boast about what sheepdogs they are.  Then there’s the non-military guys who sprinkle their vocabulary with military […]

If we go to war, Steve Bannon’s call sign absolutely, absolutely, absolutely needs to be “Cameron Alexander from ‘American History X.'”

So…we got Steve Bannon claiming that Donald Trump will claim election victory early. Did nazi that comin’. Ladies and gentlemen and dupes who gave money to Steve Bannon’s fake wall fund: these are serious times. Serious conversations are happening. If we continue to bring up the serious subject of a potential nationwide conflict, we need […]

Socialism is bad. Brocialism is good.

While the 1% get more government handouts and extra free stuff, MAGA stays on the lookout for communists. We all to often have socialism for the rich and rugged free enterprise capitalism for the poor. — Martin Luther King, “The Minister to the Valley,” 2/23/68 Maybe we have it all wrong. Maybe there’s more love […]

MAGA folks don’t really like cops. But they loooooove the idea of cops.

White America: it’s “Blue Lives Matter” one minute, “Fuck you, Johnny Law” the next. You know what bros love to do whenever bros find themselves in the company of like-minded bros and away from the outside world of non-bros? Bros looooove to regale each other with stories about moments when they stood up to cops. […]

Bolshevik piled high. The modern GOP.

The 2020 American Right is all about socialism-for-the-rich and minority rule. Most of the world has no idea who Julius Martov was or what he achieved in his life. The old saying “history is written by the winners” explains why. Russia exiled Julius Martov in the late 1800s after he spoke out against the Czars, […]

My Smirk Is My War Face: the Kyle Rittenhouse Story

2028 Movie Reviews, #15 Previous 2028 movie reviews. Before I get to reviewing 2028’s latest coming-of-rage film, let’s collectively shout out an “ALL HAIL ERIC!” to our esteemed President. We should thank him for green lighting the script and allowing this movie to come to life on the big screen.  Ready? One, two, three: ALL […]

There is civil war and there is “civil war.”

Would the Right still be pressing so feverishly for nationwide conflict if they weren’t 100% convinced that law enforcement will naturally take their side? The United States of America feels warry. Or war-esque. Warrish…is that the word? Wait, here you go: warlike. Hmmm. Nope. Still doesn’t feel quite right. While ‘warlike’ is indeed the correct term, it […]

Chickenhawks are crying out for a “civil war.” Which is just weird.

People who are too lazy to serve in the military really, really, really want to dial 911…pardon me…I meant to say, “engage in conflict with their fellow countrymen.” You know all those rabid, MAGA-hatted, tough-talkin’, too-tough-to-wear-a-mask-boastin’, gun-lovin’, flag-humpin’, Fox News-watchin’, Breitbart-readin’, OAN-quotin’, smirkin’, red-blooded ‘Mericans? I have a few questions about this crowd’s inflammatory language and […]

When terms don’t mean what you think they mean.

A handy translation guide for a bit of #MAGA’s two-faced bullshit. Confused by the smirky double-speak? Confounded by the hypocritical willful ignorance? You’re not alone. White America’s two-faced bullshit is intentional. They know it. That’s the kink of it, the thrill. It’s titillating to get away with something when you shouldn’t. GO WHITES GO! This way of […]