Sanjo Jendayi's Blog, page 2

“Lord, I’m On “E”…Can I Get a Refill…Fulfilled?” Blog Series Part 30j

*This entry is a part of a continseries, reading the previous entries will help you follow without missing a beat*

This week I kept feeling my grandmother’s presence…maybe because her birthday is approaching this coming week but I realized in rewriting your story; you have to not only know where you come from but understand your lineage.

When I look at my life and all of the paths taken throughout this journey, I come face to face with questions that I have no immediate answers. I am a Reiki Master and I have done self healing yet I still face serious health challenges. I am a manifestor yet I still face financial challenges. This week a question arose within myself; why?

I had to go back into my history to view my mom’s journey, my grandmother’s journey & my great grandmother’s journey. I saw a pattern which told me that my current circumstances were deeper than the physical, they were ancestral.

I began studying past life regression & healing ancestral karma because finally, I am understanding that this baggage I am carrying does not belong to me…it has been inherited through DNA and the onus was now on me to go deeper in order to heal not only my issues but my past life issues as well as my ancestral issues if I am to live my purpose. In healing myself, I heal my ancestors and my descendants.

Most of us go through life totally oblivious to this therefore,  we find ourselves in a never-ending rat race repeating mistakes, reaching, grasping but never living up to our full potential.  At some point you get tired and begin to seek answers outside of the societal box to really learn how to navigate this thing called life.

There is more to you than who you see in the mirror. There’s more to you than your thoughts, your beliefs. Are you courageous enough to go deeper and see who you really are underneath it all? Do you want to find your original self in a sea of instilled thoughts, beliefs and behaviors?

I have spent a substantial amount of time in mindful & transcendental meditation to clear hidden energetic blockages and heal ancestral karma in an effort to live my best life. Some of you may be questioning what I am referring to while an antenna has been raised in others. Do your research & seek what is best for you. I do my best to introduce different perspectives without force with the full confidence that the message will get to those it was meant to reach.

It’s funny because as a Reiki Master and healer it’s so easy to get caught up in the fact that you are a healer, not to mention that society now views you as such. I recall when I got sick after becoming a healer and someone said to me; “You’re a healer so heal yourself.” I also remember a few poking fun at the fact that I was sick, yet saying I was a healer. It took these deep meditations for me to fully understand that some of the greatest healers are wounded healers because we understand what it’s like to be wounded.

Some of the greatest healers still die of natural causes. Some of the most anointed pastors go through deep bouts of unbelief. Some of the top surgeons die of illnesses that they have saved others from. No one is perfect therefore, no one is exempt from themselves.

Don’t allow your wounds to inhibit your gifts. It may be your very wounds that help someone else. Keep doing what you are guided to do…wounded and all. Just don’t give up on you because sometimes you may be your only cheerleader and knowing all it takes is one makes all the difference in the world.

I am finding that the key to all of this…the key to life is healing deep within your core and then and only then can you really rewrite your story with vigor and passion. Aside from that, you’re just throwing ideas in the wind hoping something will blow in the right direction and sometimes, it will land and stick for awhile but a heavy gust will come and toss everything back in the air leaving you chasing dreams in the wind.

Slow down. Listen to your body. Heed your intuition. Read the writing on the wall and do what your Spirit is guiding you to do (not your mother, father, grandmother, society, or tradition) but what YOUR VERY SPIRIT is telling you is necessary for you to live YOUR best life while helping others along the way. Sometimes that may mean loving some from a distance or cutting some off altogether. YOU hold the pen writing this story and nothing else matters but your Soul, your story and those whose lives are changed for the better because YOU LIVE.

http://www.sanjojendayi.com

Filed under: Life

“Lord, I’m On “E”…Can I Get a Refill…Fulfilled?” Blog Series Part 29

*This entry is a part of a continuous series, reading the previous entries will help you follow without missing a beat*

No matter what is currently going on in your life, you hold the pen and have the opportunity to re-write your story at any moment. It’s only a decision away.

Life places obstacles in front of all of us and how we handle them determines the next phase of our journey. Let me share a secret I am learning, Follow Your Energy.

Someone asked me recently if I had a guiding principle that helped me decide what new work to take on, and how I decide how much time to spend pursuing my various interests. It’s a great question. Entrepreneurs have an idea a minute, and it’s often difficult to know which ideas to invest time in. A mentor of mine gave me this principle some years ago, and I try to live by it.

Go where your energy is strong. Some time ago, I realized my energy was no longer at it’s peak when I was in front of a microphone. I had stronger energy when I was upcycling furniture or creating jewelry with my daughter. I would envision designs all day and once I would get my hands in paint or playing with metals…I would lose track of time and even forget to eat because I would be in my element. I began desiring a more behind the scenes type of work. Writing in my blog also gives me joy. It allows me to still express myself, uplift, encourage and inspire others while simultaneously re-writing my story.

Does the path you’re on give you energy just thinking about it? Then follow it. If it doesn’t, consider a new direction.

Easier said than done, perhaps, but you can start with small steps. Do you love to sing (write, play tennis, carve wood) but find you don’t make time for it? Find a teacher and begin lessons, or block out an hour twice a week to practice or engage in the activity. Is your life of work not fulfilling at the moment? What one change can you make that might release your energy? Maybe you need to have a conversation with your boss or staff, review priorities, or ask for a change that would make you look forward to walking into the place where you spend a third of your life, instead of dreading it.

Even the right path has detours from time to time. Subject each new direction to your energy test. Is it strong? Do you wake up mornings eager to begin? When you’re doing this activity, do you forget where you are and what time it is? This is what it means to go where your energy is strong. This principle makes decisions a lot easier and keeps you on the road that’s right for you.

Where is your energy strong? Take a moment now to consider the ways in which you spend your energy each day.

How much of it is on target, and how much of it is not?

In what ways do you know when you’re headed in the right direction?

Do you have a vision that guides you?

Sit for a few minutes each morning, close your eyes, and visualize what you want in your life. It is time well spent. I know because I do this every morning; holding my pen journalizing my visions and allowing my energy to just flow through me and to that which I visualize. It’s Good Chi and it is assisting me in re-writing my story! By the way, in re-writing both of our stories; my daughter and I started Adorn Me Goddess Handmade Jewelry for a few reasons: 1) we love it, 2) when her father (who was a jeweler) died, she vowed to keep his legacy alive, 3) this business is what helps keep my hospital bills down and sustains my life…my life is literally on the line which is why it is important that I hold the pen that writes my story. No one can tell your story like you can because they can’t capture and translate your pain and they most certainly can’t emote your joys! Go where your energy is strong and pick up your pen!

http://www.sanjojendayi.com

http://www.etsy.com/shop/AdornMeGoddess

Filed under: Uncategorized

“Lord, I’m On “E”…Can I Get a Refill…Fulfilled?” Blog Series Part 28

*This entry is a part of a continuous series, reading the previous entries will help you follow without missing a beat*

“Life is NOT short! It’s just by the time we catch up to appreciating it…we’ve already left life at least halfway behind us.”

― Sanjo Jendayi

After spending some time with family this weekend, I awoke appreciative. I awoke happy. I awoke grateful. I swung my feet over my bed and couldn’t help smiling as I thought of one of my great friends who would text me the devil and his imps are shaking because I am awake whenever I had a speaking engagement. Suddenly, I heard this beautiful melody in my head and I thanked God as I stepped off of my bed and began dancing to the melody. I knew the lyrics, the song was familiar but the voice…the voice was so very special to me. I closed my eyes and rode each melodic tone to the beginning of the next:

“Lost touch with my soul


I had nowhere to turn, I had nowhere to go
Lost sight of my dream
Thought it would be the end of me

I thought I’d never make it through

I had no hope to hold on to

I, I thought I would break

I didn’t know my own strength

And I crashed down and I tumbled but I did not crumble

I got through all the pain

I didn’t know my own strength

Survived my darkest hour, my faith kept me alive

I picked myself back up, hold my head up high

I was not built to break

I didn’t know my own strength

Found hope in my heart

I found the light to life my way out of the dark

Found all that I need here inside of me

I thought I’d never find my way

I thought I’d never lift that weight

I thought I would break

I didn’t know my own strength

And I crashed down and I tumbled but I did not crumble

I got through all the pain

I didn’t know my own strength

Survived my darkest hour, my faith kept me alive

I picked myself back up, hold my head up high

I was not built to break

I didn’t know my own strength

There were so many times I wondered

How I’d get through the night

I thought I took all that I could take

I didn’t know my own strength

And I crashed down and I tumbled but I did not crumble

I got through all the pain

I didn’t know my own strength

My faith kept me alive

I picked myself back up, I hold my head up high

I was not built to break

I didn’t know my own strength

I was not built to break, no, no

I got to know my own strength”

Tears streamed down my eyes as I listened to The “Little Girl Lost” better known as Desi, Deserie, Sanjo, ME belt Whitney Houston’s song, “I Didn’t Know My Own Strength” out as if I was Whitney reincarnated! I WAS NOT BUILT TO BREAK!!!! I had glimpses of my strength all of my life but I really had no idea! I AM just awakening! The “Little Girl Lost” is now fully present and we got to know our own strength as we became one. All of my nicknames, my birth name, my performance/writing name, my experiences, all of these illnesses, all of my trials, all who’ve crossed my path, and all of the darkness I’ve encountered played significant roles in getting me to see the true light that’s been within all along. I thought; “I got it” some time ago but I am realizing the folly in that thought process (it blocks the light). Love is light and I am open to giving and receiving it everyday that I breathe! I am a student of life, learning something new everyday and the beauty in that is in living; I am also teaching everyday. I just learned in this very moment the difference between head & heart knowledge…I an an avid reader so it’s safe to say it is fairly easy to gain head knowledge however, heart knowledge is a certain “knowing” that nothing or no one can dispute because you know it deep within your soul. It’s a stretching and a flexing of your spiritual muscles that strengthen you for your journey. Today, I gained a heart knowledge about myself that simplified what I thought I knew about power to its greatest component…LOVE! I AM LOVE. Whoever said, “Let Go & Let God” must’ve surrendered and left it all on the mountain. The mountains have been good to me and now it’s time to rewrite my story filled with L♡VE!

http://www.sanjojendayi.com

Filed under: Uncategorized

“Lord, I’m On “E”…Can I Get a Refill…Fulfilled?” Blog Series Part 27

*This entry is a part of a continuous series, reading the previous entries will help you follow without missing a beat*

I apologize for this late blog entry today but I am climbing this mountain!!!!!!!

Every mountain in your life is not meant to be moved. Believe it or not, some mountains are placed smack dab in the middle of your life to slow you down. Some are there to protect you. While others are placed on your path to cause you to face your fears.

Most of us think we must move the mountains that appear in our lives but some of those mountains are meant to be climbed because with each step, our fears fall away and by the time we reach the top…we have the experience of the valley, the accomplishment of conquering the mountain and the amazing, clarifying beauty from the top.

Mountain climbing is usually a social activity where several climbers come together and trust one another with their lives as they help each other up the difficult mountains. This is also a meditative experience because you must be very present in the moment to be safe and successful. If climbing the mountains in your life does not bring clarity, I don’t know what will.

My most recent mountain came in the form of my health. I began having chest pains about two weeks ago which felt more like a heaviness in my chest. It was initially accompanied by a cough. Upon going to the emergency room, I was told it was the Sarcoidosis flaring and acute bronchitis. I was sent home with cough syrup, steroids, pain meds and antibiotics only to end up in a different ER a week later with the same heaviness in my chest but this time with a pain shooting down my neck and left arm with dizziness and nausea. My Blood Pressure was 231/104 and the ER doctor asked the nurse to take it again (nothing changed) and she set out to have EKG’s, chest x-rays, etc…done.

I drove to the hospital myself which stems from some childhood illnesses where I felt I was burdening my mom whenever I was sick so I would try to deal with my symptoms as much as I could without bothering anyone. What can I say, some things are harder to break than others. If you remember in my earlier blogs, I spoke about the time in Juicy Spirit when I found the root to the illnesses that I face as an adult had everything to do with the fear that I felt as a child. I feared getting sick, I despised it and yet, I was manifesting that which I feared. Today, it was a culmination of life’s circumstances and how I was responding to them that brought this mountain in the middle of my path. I had to now let my family and friends know what was going on because if I am to climb this mountain once and for all…I will need each of them to climb it with me to hold me up, encourage me and guess what? I, in turn get to do the same for them as they face their own fears on this mountain. Our friends and family are priceless blessings and Lord knows I am thankful for mine!

Facing your fears can be an intense psychological experience that can lead you to greater things in life. Once you are successful at beating your fears, you become less scared of other things in the world. After spending about 9 hours in the hospital they released me with non-specific chest pains because the EKG was normal and although the ct scan did show a new nodule on my right lung, I was being referred back to my primary care for follow-up. Needless to say I was frustrated because I was leaving the hospital feeling the same as I came in with the only exception being my blood pressure was lowered. The “Little Girl Lost” was fearful of the nodule on the right lung because it was reminiscent of the lung cancer that we had beat 9 years prior.

Whew, talk about emotions going all over the place. I cannot explain the feeling of knowing something is wrong in your body but the doctor cannot find it. I have been meditating, praying and using crystals to soothe my Spirit and speak to The “Little Girl Lost” because we need to keep calm and remain peaceful as my body catches up to my mind. My primary care doctor decided to redo the EKG after listening to my breathing and found Pericarditis which is inflammation around the heart. Now, we are properly treating it and moving forward. A few weeks prior to all of this during a Reiki session, I saw that my heart chakra was out of balance and began then taking the steps to balance it however, some things have to take their course. Once we get the heart back on track, my doctor will begin the testing on my lung to rule out malignancy. Physically, I am on strict bedrest for the next couple of weeks but spiritually I am climbing this mountain with all of my friends, family and The “Little Girl Lost” fully present in the moment, looking out for one another, strengthening out muscles as we forge to the top. By climbing this mountain, it helps you see the bigger picture of life because you realize how fragile and precious life can be. Times like these put everything into perspective and nothing matters but LIVING! This is a psychological state that often occurs when severe injury or death is a possibility. Being humbled is a psychological advantage because you become a kinder, more grateful individual. This can facilitate healthier relationships, a higher life satisfaction, and the desire to accomplish further challenges that make you feel good.

Filed under: Uncategorized

“Lord, I’m On “E”…Can I Get a Refill…Fulfilled?” Blog Series Part 26

*This entry is a part of a continuous series, reading the previous entries will help you follow without missing a beat*

“God will not give you more than you can bear. Just when it feels like your back is breaking…the weight is lifted & you can stand straight again. He knows just how much you can carry & you find out that you are stronger than you thought. You have also built muscles for the future.”― Sanjo Jendayi

Oftentimes when we come upon a mountain disguised as trials and tribulations, we try to move that mountain the hard way by putting our hands on it. In our minds, we think if we push hard enough we will move this mountain. Let me make this personal. Whenever I have been in the middle of a “situation” I go into fix it mode and try to “fix” the problem. I try to make sense of the situation, why I am there and then immediately go to put my hands on the mountain; exhausting more energy than necessary and quite possibly prolonging the lesson.

During my last storm, it took getting soaked in the drama before I went to put my hands on the mountain or someone. No, seriously. A part of me rose up that I had laid dormant some years prior. My inner hood chic still exists and she had no problems arising to defend me. In the heat of anger, I was gently reminded that I had the power to move mountains without moving a finger, without anger and without seeking vindication. Letting go isn’t as simple as just saying it…you have to put in the work. Instead of reaching outward, I took all of this inward and resumed working on me because I am the only one in this situation that I can change and self-work is continual.

I asked myself, “How can you change what you believe about this situation when the experiences you have had has convinced you otherwise?” The simple answer to that is to create a new experience. The best way for me to get that new experience is to meditate about how I can change the way I respond to what happens.The new response will create new results, which I will then experience it as a new reality.

To get back to my happy place, I had to believe everything that happens to me is the best possible thing that can happen to me. Meditating to help turn a bad situation into something good can be as easy as: 1+1 = 2. Believing that I was right where I was supposed to be in life and what is happening isn’t by accident but the best possible thing that can happen at this time helped me to see things more clearly.

GOD is THE GREAT BALANCER and knows exactly what I need and when. During meditation, the GOD in me became my counselor and I began to see so many times that I was pulled from the fire with minor burns where there could have been major damage or an all consuming flame totally destroying me. BUT GOD! I had all of the tools to work with for healing within myself and now, I have to continue the work.

When you are convinced of the truth that everything that happens is the best thing that can happen, you no longer push and fight against those mountains in life. You do the self work necessary to release, refresh and revitalize self thereby opening a new channel to happiness. All you need to know when meditating is happiness is there, waiting just for you. Meditation helps me to really understand that it isn’t the mountain that I must conquer but self.

It is not necessary to have all the ingredients of the outcome in hand at the outset. They will come at the appointed time. It’s only important that you move forward with becoming a better you until that appointed time comes. With the energy you create through meditation by moving forward as if you had all that is needed, you actually put into motion a start of events that will lead you to your success; be it self-healing, becoming a better person, career goals, etc…

Your actions create an energy that draws in the necessary ingredients of your project you have ventured into. Everything that you need for your venture is, in actuality, already there, waiting for you.You only need to draw in what is needed. There is really nothing more to all of this other than just you remembering to keep an open mind and find that peace that is buried deep within you.

The results that come with meditation cause you to experience peace within, which then proves to you that this is how things really do work. This leads you to soon believe that everything does indeed happen for your benefit. When you realize that is true, the deep sighs of relief will come. Meditation can certainly help you see the light.

The internet is a really great place to find out all of the information that you would need about meditation, in case you are interested in learning more about it for your own benefits. This is very important for you to consider doing because it will relieve you from so much stress circulating throughout your life each and every day. Try practicing meditation as often as you can because it is really beneficial in connecting you with your higher self and the truth that resides within.

During this time I am beginning to move mountains by faith. I am re-training my mind to my “new normal” and instead of seeing loss I am seeing my Angels guiding me and sometimes pulling me out of situations that did not serve me. Although, sometimes painful in the moment, hindsight always shows me the greater good. Today, I have decided to cut the energetic cords that bind me to certain situations. First, by ceasing any frivilous talk about the problems and second by completing a series of energy body work (Reiki) sessions to balance my chakras. THAT is how I will move mountains. I will completely heal and be the best person I can be, impacting the world around me authentically. The “Little Girl Lost” simply smiled and held my hand as we walked forward. Our muscles are getting stronger.

http://www.sanjojendayi.com

Filed under: Life

“Lord, I’m On “E”…Can I Get a Refill…Fulfilled?” Blog Series Part 25

*This entry is a part of a continuous series, reading the previous entries will help you follow without missing a beat*

 “When one’s life has been shattered into a million pieces, most set out to pick up the pieces & rebuild. Others look at those broken pieces & decide this is their opportunity to start anew, the bigger picture comes into view. They see more & want better so they leave those pieces scattered as a memorial to who they used to be!” ― Sanjo Jendayi

Life is full of surprises…after losing everything material I truly found myself. I tapped into my inner power and found greatness! The “Little Girl Lost” and I were walking through this life hand in hand not afraid to give in to that childish whim to just run and do a flip on the beach without a care who’s looking. I learned to retreat within when facing challenges. All the inner work I had done had proved quite beneficial however; my true test was yet to come.

In 2013, I shared creative space with a friend. I had NEVER done that before but I shared my creative process, my thought process, my creative research, marketing strategies…hell, my entire creative energetic flow without holding back. We created a masterpiece and all that I had been through prior seemed worth the price of admission once our project hit the market. It was a magical time of building. My health was on track because I was beating my body into submission with healthy eating, working out and living a drama free life.

Somewhere along the way, something happened. I was working so hard that I began missing my meditations, skipping my workouts as well as a meal or two. There was a shift taking place and I felt it. I wasn’t quite sure what was about to take place but I could feel in my Spirit that the energy wasn’t good. Mini-Dramas were beginning to creep in consistently. I addressed this shift and began to point out things that I was seeing to my partner. I once wrote about following your gut instinct but I was slowly pushing that feeling to the back burner in the name of business AND friendship. I ignored the fact that I was getting sick and refused to delve into WHY my body was speaking dis-ease again.

Needless to say, that shift proved the professional foundation I thought was being built was shaky to say the least. Things began to take place that seemed surreal and it was everything ratchet tv was made of, the joke was definitely on me. Surprise, surprise!

When the shift finally hit the fan, I wasn’t as prepared as I thought I would be and the pain of it all nearly sent me into total darkness. I walked away from the business, I walked away from the relationships, I walked away to save my very life…but why did I feel so weighted down? It seemed in a blink of an eye, I was facing loss YET AGAIN, but this time it was more than material things, it was people who I’ve known for years and cared deeply for…in fact; several relationships were altered forever in the mayhem.

I tried to save face and remain positive in the face of chaos but chaos laughed at me. I tried to utilize all of my tools from self-discovery but none of it worked because I was angry! There. I said it. I was mad as hell! I went through the 5 stages of loss…first, was denial and isolation. I didn’t want to be bothered with anyone; I would try to make sense of it in my head but cry for lack of answers.

Then I was angry and wanted to lash out because the pain was too much to handle on top of everything else I had lost. Next, I began the mental gymnastics of trying to rationalize what happened, how we got to this god forsaken place. I prematurely tried to “move on” but quickly realized I had not completed the necessary work to do so. I was reverting back to my superwoman mindset instead of actually FEELING the hurt and then dealing with it.

The phase that got to me the most was the depression phase. There are certain things in life that cause you to question yourself, your mission, your very purpose. In that depression state, I questioned everything…including my judge of character. I even got mad at myself for not seeing this sooner, for being caught slipping, off guard. My trust was broken. I felt used and very vulnerable.

Although I have overcome many obstacles in my life; I would bend but I WOULD NOT BREAK… This situation was like that straw that broke the camel’s back. See, the camel had been routinely beat down by carrying heavy loads and the last straw came when he could absolutely carry no more and as a simple, lightweight straw was placed on his back a very sudden reaction took place. The attempts to assassinate my character, the blatant betrayal and lies were all combined into that straw for me. I had to remind myself that this one experience does not and will not define me and to continue to give in to this negativity would amount to wasted energy. I have to forgive and move on, the question then becomes; What is my 1st step to releasing this anger properly?

The “Little Girl Lost” had quietly begun rebuilding a wall with every brick of pain and disappointment. I had to go back to all of my teachings, all that I had learned and it took everything in me to speak truths to my soul and slowly use those same bricks to build stepping stones. I did a lot of mirror work and meditating to get to the final stage of loss which is acceptance. I had to stop pointing fingers and accept the situation for what it was, as well as accept my role in it taking responsibility for my own actions and re-actions. In hindsight, I could’ve done a few things differently.  Let me be the 1st to tell you that acceptance does not mean healed, yet it is a powerful step in the right direction. Healing is taking place daily and believe me when I say, “some days are better than others.”

This has been a rough 3 yrs full of loss, pain, joy and plenty of lessons. I’ve learned that “friends” aren’t always those closest to you. Some whom we call “friend” are the very ones watching, waiting and sometimes plotting for our fall. Some whom we have known for a short while stand closer than those for years. I’ve learned that some will use you for your intellectual properties until you are no longer useful. Intellectual Properties are your thoughts, your creativity, your ideas, your mind and I learned its true value this year. I gave away my intellectual properties for free without knowing its true value only to watch my ideas and creative processes utilized without me. I’ve learned that the biggest betrayal was my own because I betrayed self when I ignored my gut, when I allowed the outside circumstances to affect my health and when I continued to give out of depletion. I’ve also learned that no matter how much light I possess, I possess darkness too and I don’t have to rid myself of one to benefit from the other. I embrace both because they are both necessary. It is in the dark that the brightest stars are visible. I’ve learned that I am more flexible than I once believed and I am planted firmly in rich soil. I bend but I DON’T BREAK. I have learned that what is for me is for me and NOTHING or NO ONE can change that. I’ve learned the power in silence and most importantly, I have learned the true healing power in written and spoken word. Last, but certainly not least…I learned that I cannot let an earthly circumstance disable me spiritually. My body is back fighting me and I must shift this energy, in order to really live life the way I envision it because even though I sometimes act like I have no limitations; my body has a way of reminding me that my life really depends on me keeping myself balanced…mind, body and spirit. Now, I have to convey all of these lessons to the “Little Girl Lost” because she was just beginning to trust me, my choices, this journey and now she’s a tad bit skeptical. Instead of picking up the shattered pieces of what was, I decided to be thankful for another opportunity to move mountains!!!!!!!!!!!!!

http://www.sanjojendayi.com

Filed under: Life

“Lord, I’m On “E”…Can I Get a Refill…Fulfilled?” Blog Series Part 24

*This entry is a part of a continuous series, reading the previous entries will help you follow without missing a beat*

If you have read or have been involved in personal development, whether it is goal-setting, time management, motivation, weight loss, or the many other categories and have not taken hold of what you desired, chances are that you’re lacking an inner drive towards that elusive goal. I can honestly say that was my issue and when talking with others on the topic, the conclusion was always similar.

You have brought books, CDs, tapes, searched the internet, and maybe even attended seminars, but yet you find that you fall short of your desire or you don’t even come one step closer to what you set out to achieve. You may ask yourself “Why do I keep failing? Am I supposed to just remain who I am today?”

Do not lose hope and sight of your goal. If you have obtained personal development resources before, you have a desire to improve. You have a desire to be intimate in your relationships. You have a desire to look your best. You have a desire to free yourself from debt.

Here is a fantastic analogy to help you see the problem. By not defining the problem correctly you can not provide a correct solution, leaving you to wonder your whole life about “what could have been”. Think of the books you read, the cds you listen to, the seminars you attend, as a spark. This spark has an extremely powerful potential. It has the potential to ignite and create fire. Can you see the relation between the spark and the resources you read and listen to? These personal development guides create an internal spark in you. They pump you up guiding you towards your goal’s correct path.

However, it doesn’t take long until you find yourself not moving forward on the path toward your goal, or that you have totally moved off the path. You may have even lost ground by feeling so beaten up after failing you enter into a state of depression and fear. What you need is to turn the spark gained from the personal development resources into a roaring fire. A fire so dominant and independent that it will continue to burn and not require outside help in keeping it that way. To see what can fuel that spark into a fire, ask yourself, “this internal desire I have to improve, where is it coming from?” Are you sick of arguing with your partner or friends and you want to have more intimate relationships? Is it that you’re tired of worrying about being able to put food on the table, provide clothing, and shelter? Are you embarrassed by how those additional pounds make you look?

Now that it is apparent as to why you want to improve, make it a strong WHY. This is your fuel for the spark to ignite it into a roaring fire and keeping it burning strongly.

So the next time you feel you do not have what it takes to achieve that elusive goal, recall YOUR WHY and think of what could be. Pull out that WHY and use it to propel yourself forward. By asking yourself “what could be”, you will avoid yourself saying later “what could have been”.

When you realize that you really want to have an impact in this world, to make a difference, remember that it is in each moment that you are alive and in the present. When you are too busy worrying about what you don’t have, what you have to do, and where you’ve been, you’re not in the present; you’re consumed by the past you can’t change and the future that has yet to happen. There is no impact in either place.

The impact is here and now. Stop, check in, and connect in relationship with those around you. Be present, make the impact with those you see in your life today. Your future will unfold more powerfully and profoundly than you could ever imagine when you focus on the right things; relationships, people, love and community.

Being present will engage you in ways that will offer you greater insights into who you are; what others see in you; what gets you excited; and where you are going with your life. Giving time to others in the moment will enrich your experience of living as the energy of two create new possibilities. It’s never about what you get; it’s always about what you give! With greater awareness, that can only come through the being present, you will experience better decision-making and a much more profoundly lived life.

Quote by Sanjo Jendayi

Armed with this information, the “Little Girl Lost” was feeling powerful and could really see her own growth. Next week, we will begin to exercise that power in the new chapter, Move, Mountain Move!

http://www.sanjojendayi.com

Filed under: Life

“Lord, I’m On “E”…Can I Get a Refill…Fulfilled?” Blog Series Part 23

*This entry is a part of a continuous series, reading the previous entries will help you follow without missing a beat*

Great spirits have always encountered violent opposition from mediocre minds. – A. Einstein

Get Up

I’ve always had a love affair with that particular quote. Yesterday, while doing some organizing I came across my favorite quote again. As I looked at it, a higher level of awareness sang out a deeper meaning than I’d ever recognized in the past.

See, at this time I was in a state of transition renting rooms from friends; grateful yet mentally dissatisfied with where I was in life. I would have wars in my mind between my rational thoughts and my irrational thoughts. Some days I was mentally ready to take on the world and other days, I was ready to quit. My thoughts would swing on this pendulum from fighting for my life to fighting my life all the while affecting my emotions. Sometimes I would call on my resources and share what I was feeling while other times I would retreat within and isolate myself to deal with my inner self.

Realizing we are spiritual beings, we each have a Great Spirit within us crying out for a well-lived life without fear, without compromise, without limitation. You recognize that deep inner desire, don’t you? It’s greatness is specific to you and your desires, mine is specific to me and my desires. Initially, our spirit is always battling opposition from the opinions of others, media, peer pressure, and family obligations. Then I realized that there is more.

Just like that, a flash of insight revealed something I had never seen before. My Great Spirit has encountered violent opposition from my own mediocre mind! I was stunned with this insight. Our mind is a tool for the body and for the spirit. Identifying ourselves with the mind we entrap ourselves and the spirit becomes enmeshed in a battle for freedom! Wow! What a revelation I realized as I became aware of the mediocrity of my choices based upon my mistakes, my lame-brained thoughts of defeatism, poor self-esteem, bad-hair days and so on.

All of a sudden, I see that I won’t rely solely on the thoughts and opinions of others. I won’t rely on the intellectual capacity of my mind, the same mind and intellect that can offer up rational excuses to not achieve just as easily as it can offer up excellent reasons to go for the gold. This is also the same mind that can perpetuate the emotional state of despair so the emotions will further feed the negativity of the mind. It is such a trap. The mind, in all of its intellectual prowress is mediocre on its own.

Here on in, I will engage in spiritual awareness, having command over the mind and the emotions. The spiritual awareness will harness these tools, the mind and emotions, and the Great Spirit within will inspire action and achievement like never before!

http://www.sanjojendayi.com

Filed under: Life

“Lord, I’m On “E”…Can I Get a Refill…Fulfilled?” Blog Series Part 22

*This entry is a part of a continuous series, reading the previous entries will help you follow without missing a beat* There’s a place I like to go where peace overflows in abundance

It’s amazing how this place is so close but sometimes seems far away

The sky is always the perfect shade of blue and the birds sing melodically

The ocean is never-ending the breeze crisp the sun rises and sets at my command

Every sound resounds in my ear

Every smell is refreshing and clear

My lungs aren’t infected in this place,

My body no longer aches

My breathing isn’t labored

All that I Am is strengthened

My visions are in color

My purpose is not a wonder

I create my future confronting and slaying my fears

while taking captive thoughts that shaped my childhood

like feelings of being used & unloved,

pregnant at 15

raped at 16

and countless men taking what i gave no value

sex that equated to a piece of my soul being chipped away with each penetration

daily meditation takes me to that place where I am whole

the holes in my soul disappear

I am able to nourish every hurt

and cradle my wounded parts like a newborn baby

this place saves me, bringing me unlimited happiness

making love is now pleasurable and sweet

no mask or facade needed

because when i travel deep within

I control what manifest in my life

and my cup fills over the brim from the inside

so when I open my eyes I am walking in this peace

and my flame is aglow

people are naturally drawn to me

some trying to get a piece of my peace

but are envious of the flame that they can’t extinguish

can’t grab and make it their own so they retreat defeated

and I AM at peace!

God spoke: “Let us make human beings in our image, make them reflecting our nature     

So they can be responsible for the fish in the sea, the birds in the air, the cattle,     

And, yes, Earth itself, and every animal that moves on the face of Earth.”     

God created human beings; he created them godlike,     

Reflecting God’s nature. He created them male and female.     

God blessed them: “Prosper! Reproduce! Fill Earth! Take charge!     

Be responsible for fish in the sea and birds in the air, for every living thing that moves on the face of Earth. Genesis 1:26-28 The Message Bible

You are an agent of change! God being the GREAT CREATOR created us in HIS image! He made us Godlike reflecting HIS nature! Do you understand the POWER in that knowledge? Not only are we joint heirs with Christ, WE…YOU and I are co-creators with the GOD in us!

Our very thoughts are creative releasing a power that most have yet to tap into. After surviving all of those previous trials and tribulations, I decided I wanted to be more than a survivor…no, simply surviving will not be my story.  I must tap into this inner power so I can become MORE THAN A CONQUEROR and inspire others to join me! In this chapter, “The Little Girl Lost” will begin to see and feel things that will truly awaken her to herself.

http://www.sanjojendayi.com

Filed under: Life

“Lord, I’m On “E”…Can I Get a Refill…Fulfilled?” Blog Series Part 21

*This entry is a part of a continuous series, reading the previous entries will help you follow without missing a beat*

After about 8 months I was feeling good so I started applying to jobs. My doctors and I devised a good cocktail of medications that seemed to be working and I should be fine. Finally, I applied to SMC and I worked there for almost 5 years due only to the fact that I was blessed with understanding management. It was rough though, within the 1st two weeks of working I had a setback and was in the hospital for one week and out on bedrest another week. When I returned not only had management held my job but they even asked me about my bills since I had not accrued any leave yet. Upon me telling them I was $500 short, they gave it to me and told me to pay it forward.  Although I started as a Calltaker, within 6 months I was promoted to Assistant Training Coordinator, then to Supervisor and then The Training Coordinator stepped down and became my assistant as I stepped into her position all in my 1st year and a half on the job. God can do the impossible I tell you because she wasn’t bitter or anything. In fact, one day she overheard me on the phone with one of my creditors and when I got off she asked if everything was okay? I began explaining how I am playing catch up with bills due to all of my health issues. You know what she did? Two weeks later, she wrote me a check for $5000 dollars and said I don’t have to pay her back! She said I was always doing for others and she wanted to do something for me. Look at God! I was dumbstruck! I was thankful, humbled and overjoyed! However, I had not yet learned how to receive therefore, I had to tell her I would accept if I could pay her something back. She said, “I’ll tell you what, you can pay me back half in payments, when you are ready.” I hugged her tightly, drew up an agreement and we both signed. I know this shouldn’t matter but people need to know this because there are still huge color barriers amongst us but she did not look like me, she was Caucasian. The lessons I learned:

God can bless you through ANYONE
Just say “Thank You”
Don’t block another’s blessings by refusing or altering their seed for you.

During this time, my house has been refinanced about three times to ultimately pay off about $60,000 in debts, hospital bills and needed repairs on the house. All of that left me in an upside down mortgage and a payment of $1740 monthly from that meager $840 I started with 10yrs prior but hey, thank GOD for the means in which to do it. The house has served me well.

These 10yrs began teaching me humility, trust, love, the power of friends and connections. I have had many people who have sown financial blessings into me but I was just beginning to learn how to receive. I had a friend sit me down one time and explain to me when I was saying I want to be in a position to financially bless folk and not be the recipient all of the time. She lovingly said, “You bless people all the time with things money can’t buy. You mentor kids for free. You give away books and CD’s like you don’t need money. You pray with people and for people, you encourage people, you give people hope. See, you are looking at this all wrong…the reason people are always blessing you financially is a direct result of you reaping what YOU sow! So cheer up and just learn to say, Thank You.”

Various versions of this has been reiterated to me by several friends and my very own daughter on different occasions. I’m learning, yes I am!

My most recent “aha” moment came when I was going through the Juicy Spirit Journey and I was working in the root chakra. I realized as a sickly child who through a child’s eyes was burdening her mother, I despised being sick. I feared it. Whenever I would feel dizzy I would fight passing out with all of my little might to not bring any more attention to me or my mom. Well, what we think about we bring about and what we fear we manifest. I inadvertently manifested illness in my life up to this point but NO MORE!

I DECLARE ENOUGH IS ENOUGH over my health, my finances, my relationships and my life! The “Little Girl Lost” excitedly whispered; “what’s next?” She was now looking at these trials, tribulations and triumphs as exciting adventures…she was onto something!

“When you come to the edge of all the light you have known and are about to step out into darkness, Faith is knowing one of two things will happen; there will be something to stand on, or you will be taught to fly.”~Richard Bach

http://www.sanjojendayi.com

Filed under: Uncategorized