Jen Mann's Blog, page 20

Who Is Attractive According to Gomer

And once again, one of my children has given me a complex with their unsolicited advice.

Tonight we took my in-laws to dinner and we were on our way home when Gomer started asking us 150 questions about absolutely NOTHING.  He is in a phase right now where he asks questions about everything and it is driving me absolutely bonkers.  I was sort of answering his random questions with random answers:

Gomer:  What do you think that green building is over there?

Me:  (Vaguely...

My Super Hot Sex Dream?

Ugh, last night totally sucked.  My kids are bigger now and so we usually get to sleep through the night.

Last night both of my children decided to remind me what I was missing.

I actually got to bed at a decent hour last night (thank goodness, or I'd be napping right now instead of writing) and I'd been asleep about 2 hours when I realized I was having a conversation with the boy.  (FYI, there's been a question about whether or not I actually named them.  Of course, I've named...

I Got a C-String and It Looks Good!

Remember when I wrote about c-strings a few weeks ago? Well, once I wrote about it, I started getting a hankering to try one on. I went to Amazon and I ordered one. Imagine my surprise when I found out it was backordered! What a popular little piece of fabric and wire! I went ahead and placed the order and proceeded to wait.

This week, I received a special package from China. Finally! I tore open the padded envelope (yes, it was padded as if this piece of scratchy lace attached to a wire...

My Rules for MOMS at Playdates

A few months ago I came up my list of rules for playdates for KIDS.  Many of you asked me for rules for playdates for MOMS.  These are the rules I came up with.

Keep in mind, these are rules for the moms on the periphery of my children's social scene.  There are many moms who I am close to and whose children play with mine very often (I'm looking at you Sandy, Sherry, Mary, Jamie, Misty, etc.).  We don't need rules, because we're all normal with one another.  I do not...

The Hubs Thinks My Readers are Hot

The other day the Hubs was scrolling though some of the Twitter profiles of my readers.  He does this on occasion.  It's actually very helpful usually because it's always good to know who's following you.  Today he stopped short when he found one:

Hubs:  Whoa.

Me:  What?

Hubs:  Nothing.

Me:  What?  Is it a famous person?  Am I finally going to get my own Wil Wheaton?


Hubs:  No.  Wil Wheaton doesn't want you.  He wants the...

Jen & Friends' Endless Conversation Loop

A couple days ago I showed you the annoying summer conversations I've been overhearing lately.  I didn't want to you think that my conversations are any better.  They're just not as annoying...to me.  So here's what it would be like if I ran into 2 of my friends at Target, the pool and/or, the movies:

Me:  I'm trying to keep Gomer and Adolpha out of my hair this summer.  I can't get any work done.  They're always bugging me for food and shit.  Gomer!...

Designer Vaginas are a Thing Now

I don't know about you ladies, but as I get older I'm finding that a lot of things are .... changing.

My laugh lines aren't disappearing when I'm done laughing, my middle is getting softer, I'm taking more and more trips to the hairdresser to keep the gray hairs under control, and my libido isn't what it used to be.

None of these bother me (and the Hubs) as much as my waning sex drive. I've been looking everywhere for a solution and I've yet to find one. Until today.


Today a little birdy...

Suburban Moms' Endless Conversation Loop

I should know better by now.  If I leave my house I'm going to encounter people who bug me.  In the last few weeks I've left the house a lot.  I've been spending a lot of time at the pool and the movies and shopping.  I encountered so many groups of moms clustered in Target aisles, observing swimming lessons and/or waiting for a movie to start.  I could overhear their conversations and I realized they talk about the same shit.  All.  The.  Time.  It...

42-Year-Old Women are HOT (No, That's Not a Typo)

A lovely man named Tom Junod wrote an article for Esquire magazine where he sang the praises of 42-year-old women. I'm not sure how young Tom is, but I'm imagining him as a strapping 19-year-old with a full head of hair, tight abs, and sparkly green eyes. Because according to him 42 is the most alluring and sexy age. That's right. He thinks 42-year-old ladies are MILFs. A lot of his reasoning has to do with feminism and life experience and a good sense of humor. I think. I had a hard time...

Gender Reveal Parties

It's a....OH, who cares?!I have nothing against party planners.  I know it's their job to always come up with new ideas to sell to people, but when they start throwing Potty Parties and Period Parties you know they're grasping at straws.

The latest trend I've heard about is a Gender Reveal Party.  Wouldn't you love to be invited to one of those?  Well, I would not.  I'll just tell my friends right now:  Save your stamp.  I'm not coming.



 Think about it,...