Jen Mann's Blog, page 18

You Might Be a Suburban Mom If ...

You might be a suburban mom if ... 

Your full-time job is unpaid volunteer at your children's school.

You've taken a crossfit, barre, hot yoga, pole dancing, kettlebell, or aqua zumba class.

You've ever adopted a vegan, gluten-free, dairy-free, sugar-free, or paleo diet -- and it had nothing to do with allergies.

The people who work at the checkout at Target know your cycle.

You think yoga pants can be worn anywhere -- including formal events.

You pay hundreds of dollars a week to...

I'd Like to Apologize in Advance for My Future Behavior

Hiya! I'm not sure if you got the memo, so I'm going to go ahead and get you up to speed. On SEPTEMBER 9TH (that's Tuesday!!) I have a new book coming out!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

This is what the cover of the book looks like. You should be looking for this cover when you're looking for my book.
That's right, PEOPLE I WANT TO PUNCH IN THE THROAT: COMPETITIVE CRAFTERS, DROP OFF DESPOTS, AND OTHER SUBURBAN SCOURGES is ready!

Yeah, can you believe it? I know, I know. It seems like I've...

I Don't Take Nudies. Do You?

I think so.OK, so a bunch of female celebrities took nude pictures of themselves and them uploaded them to the Cloud (whatever the hell that is) and then someone else (probably a dick-nosed teenager) hacked into the Cloud and released the pictures for the world to see and now the world is upset. Did I get that right?

I have some questions. 
1. Why is it always the ladies getting the nudies leaked? Where are the guys uploading theirs to? Would it kill a hacker to release a nude pic of Hugh...

Do You Make Your Kid Share?

Do you teach your kids to share? Do you enforce some sort of sharing rule in your house? What about outside of your house?

An article was brought to my attention recently. It's called Should You Teach Your Child to Share? The author is firmly in the camp of "my child does not need to share." EVER. Her child attends a preschool co-op where the children are not required to share toys. They can even call dibs on a toy and a teacher/parent will hold that toy for them while they go to the...

Mom Gets Her Kid Kicked Out of School for Facebook Rant

Has your kids' school ever done something that just irks you? I bet they have. We've all been there, right? Do you complain to your friends and family a bit when something bothers you about school. I'm guessing you have. Did you ever take to Facebook and write a rant about the school? Maybe a few of you have. BUT, when you wrote that rant, did you tag the school? Yeah. Probably not. Because you know that if you tag a person or a page they will SEE what you wrote. Duh.

Out of the mouth of...

The Idiot Parents of a Nine Year Old with a Machine Gun

WTF, America?

Let me see if I can follow this logic. We make laws to protect our children. They must be in carseats and seat belts. We bubble wrap every pointy surface in our home while they're learning to walk. We gate the staircases and we latch the cupboards. We buy bike helmets, elbow pads, wrist guards, knee pads, mouth guards, shin guards, life vests, floaties, and more. We can't leave them home alone or at the park or in the car for any period of time without being accused of abuse. We...

Judgmental People Who Don't Think THEY'RE Judgmental

What is wrong with this statement that was posted on a friend's Facebook wall after she pimped out my blog:
"I refuse to read this blog just based on the title.  I don't like people who pass judgment on other people for no good reason.  I think she should get to know the people she's writing about before she judges them. The Golden Rule is still golden!" 
I don't have the direct quote anymore, but that was the gist of it. There was some more crap about judging with emotions,...

Dating Naked Star is Mad Because We Saw Her Naked

I watch a lot of reality television. I have to . There's nothing else on anymore. What the hell happened to television? Now it's all a bunch of half naked women frolicking in a hot tub with some douchebag they hope will propose marriage to them based solely on their make out skills and bra size OR it's extreme cooking shows where contestants must prepare a ten-course meal over a cookstove in a gondola going to the top of a mountain using only four ingredients one of which is cow's bladder.

I...

I Owe Benedict Cumberbatch an Apology

I owe Benedict Cumberbatch an apology. You see, before today, I just thought he was a good actor with a ridiculous mop of hair, chiseled cheekbones, and a silly name. Last night the Hubs and I finished watching the entire Sherlock Holmes series and I can't say that there was one time that my tummy fluttered or my heart beat faster when the camera closed in on that pasty face of his. I knew that the ladies of the web were agog over this man, but for the life of me I couldn't figure out...

Parents Who Don't Teach Their Kids Manners

I don't know about you, but I try to teach my kids manners whenever the opportunity arises.  If my kids receive a present I say, "What do you say?"  If they leave someone's house from a play date I say, "What do you tell so and so's mom?"  If they get in someone's way when we're at the store I say, "Say 'excuse me.'" That sort of thing.  I know a lot of people do it and I see my friends' kids doing it, but for some reason there is a small population out there who doesn't and...