David McMullen-Sullivan's Blog
April 19, 2025
A Nice Indian Boy
Well, finally a fun, gay rom-com has made it to the big screen.
Karan Soni plays Naveen Gavaskar, an insecure doctor in need of a confidence boost. Why is he insecure? Wait til you meet his parents. You'll feel inadequate too as you sit there in the dark eating your Kroger brand popcorn that you snuck in under your off-the-rack, polyester, denim jacket.
It's as if - when they look out from the screen at you - they know.
Then there's our little Jonnie Groff, who plays Jay Kurundkar. Jay's a freelance photographer in need of a medical plan (if he doesn't stop vaping).
What a great pairing!
Mindy Kaling's A Nice Indian Boy is the sweet, funny film America needs right now. A film that's easy on the soul, where no one is getting deported by ICE just because they're brown.
Auld lang syne. Am I right?
The romance isn't to the level of Pride and Prejudice, but I'm sure Ms. Kaling has that in the works. Never fear. Bollywood is here.
And speaking of Bollywood, I really wished there would have been a big dance number at the end. I mean, give the people what they want. Am I right?
Yeah. If you're gonna go full on gay Indian boy, end it with a number where ABBA is sung in Hindi.
Terrific!!!
Karan Soni plays Naveen Gavaskar, an insecure doctor in need of a confidence boost. Why is he insecure? Wait til you meet his parents. You'll feel inadequate too as you sit there in the dark eating your Kroger brand popcorn that you snuck in under your off-the-rack, polyester, denim jacket.
It's as if - when they look out from the screen at you - they know.
Then there's our little Jonnie Groff, who plays Jay Kurundkar. Jay's a freelance photographer in need of a medical plan (if he doesn't stop vaping).
What a great pairing!
Mindy Kaling's A Nice Indian Boy is the sweet, funny film America needs right now. A film that's easy on the soul, where no one is getting deported by ICE just because they're brown.
Auld lang syne. Am I right?
The romance isn't to the level of Pride and Prejudice, but I'm sure Ms. Kaling has that in the works. Never fear. Bollywood is here.
And speaking of Bollywood, I really wished there would have been a big dance number at the end. I mean, give the people what they want. Am I right?
Yeah. If you're gonna go full on gay Indian boy, end it with a number where ABBA is sung in Hindi.
Terrific!!!
October 20, 2024
Books on a Shelf
Going to a bookstore is fun. A lot of us forget that. So, here's your reminder to walk into one sometime soon.
April 5, 2024
The Push
The old man stands on the corner of Seattle’s Pike and Washington. He’s dressed in a buttoned-up trench coat, bare ankles in black oxford shoes and a bowler hat that accentuates his look of senility. You don’t know him, but he seems to know you. He looks right at you and speaks.
“I don’t celebrate birthdays at my age.”
He leans against a lamppost, looks down the street, taps his foot impatiently.
“After 2,438 and a half years, they stopped being special.” He shifts his stance. “Course, I never dreamed I’d get this old, but it came with the job.”
“Here’s a tip, if a strange Greek in a dirty toga approaches you after one of Plato’s TED talks and offers you the job of Fate, say no.”
His lips twist. He thinks about his claim.
“Not that I haven’t enjoyed being around this long, but there’s a definite downside to this type of employment. I’ve never had a day off,” he sighs, “which has got to be an HR violation, and the benefits aren’t all they’re cracked up to be.”
He looks you in the eyes.
“You don’t believe me? We only just got a dental plan around the Renaissance. We wouldn’t even have gotten that if Leonardo da Vinci hadn’t berated the higher ups about the importance of proper flossing.”
“But I’m not here to talk about me. I’m here to answer your questions about fate, and I know just the one you’re most eager to ask.”
Fate looks down his nose to assume a professorial air.
“Is there really such a thing as free will, or is my whole destiny pre-determined?”
He grins.
“Ha. Like I hadn’t heard that one before.” His voice drops. “By the way, Destiny is a lovely girl, bit self-assured but makes a great meatloaf.”
“So, what’s the answer?” he says. “Eh. It’s a little complicated but goes something like this: you are free to make certain decisions while I, as Fate, open several doors for you. Each has a different outcome. You chose the door. I don’t interfere, not my place. I just open ‘em. If you don’t like the fortune you got from the cookie, that’s on you.”
Fate looks down the street again, smiles.
“Actually, here comes my next appointment, a perfect example. I’ll show you what I mean. You can see for yourself.”
Fate comes off the lamppost which is outside a corner café. Far down the street, a young man is walking toward the eatery.
“That’s Kai Lee. He works a soul-sucking, dead-end job, pushing paper for an insurance company. Great guy. He just never seems to get a break.”
Kai’s demeanor matches Fate’s description, shoulders slumped, head down.
“Two doors are about to open for Kai, and one, door number two, will be life changing. Want to know what’s behind it?”
Fate turns, looks at a young woman sitting alone at one of the café tables. “She is.”
The woman is reading a book, sipping a latte.
“That’s Cindy Wu. She’s sweet, encouraging and ambitious. She’s also Kai’s soulmate, the love of his life. They’re going to be happier than a kid at Christmas getting his first bike.”
Fate shrugs. “That is, if he chooses the right door.”
Kai is getting closer.
“The suspense is killing you, isn’t it.” Fate rubs his hands together. “Fine. I’ll give you a sneak peek of what’s behind number two.”
Kai sidesteps around an elderly woman going the opposite direction. “Pardon me,” he says. A beautiful bluejay passes overhead. Kai looks up, whistles to the bird. The bird chirps back as it flies by.
Kai smiles. He looks around. It really is a gorgeous day. Isn’t it? He hadn’t noticed until just then.
It’s been weeks since he felt this good. His attitude has been one big dark cloud lately. He didn’t realize his mood had sunk this low until his bad luck stopped pelting him for a minute. It felt nice. He took a deep breath. His chin rose. He was at once energized and engaged as he approached the café.
That’s when he saw her. She was a dream. To Kai, it was as if she glowed by the radiance of her beauty alone.
She was reading. She didn’t notice him. Why should she? An angel wouldn’t take notice of a mere mortal about to walk by.
Cindy ran a finger through her jet-black hair, drawing a strand behind her ear.
Kai let out a schoolboy’s moan. He felt everything go into slow motion. He was entranced. His mouth dropped open. His lower lip flapped in the breeze.
Was he drooling? Oh, God. How embarrassing.
Kai’s next step took him right into Cindy’s line of sight. He was actually grateful she was reading because he’d be mortified right now if she were to –
Cindy looks up.
Oh, no. She sees him.
Kai freezes. How can this be happening? Where is a hole he can crawl into?
“Hello,” Cindy says.
Kai is pretty sure she’s just said something to him. There must have been words, but he only heard music, a carillon of little chimes coming from the heavens.
He should say something.
“Are you all right?” Cindy asks. “Do you need to sit down?”
Her question manages to pierce the fog in his brain. “Do I?”
“You look like you do.”
“Do you want me to sit down?”
Cindy giggles. “Only if you want to.”
Kai hears more music. “Ok.”
He sits down. Oh, wow, he thinks. She’s right there, right there next to him.
“I’m Cindy.” She holds out her hand.
He’s a little too quick and eager with his response and handshake. “Kai. I’m Kai. My name is Kai.”
Oh, what’s wrong with him. What is he twelve? He’s never felt this awkward. He has to say something smart, recover some crumb of dignity.
“I love your book.”
“This book?” Cindy nods to the open pages before her.
“Yes. It was great. Such a sweet story.”
She closes it, slides it across the table to him with the cover face up.
Kai looks down at the title: “The Black Plague: Medieval Medicine’s Response to Viruses and Pandemics.”
“This book? she repeats. Cindy challenges him with an inquisitive look. “You thought it was sweet?”
“Absolutely. I laughed. I cried. It was amazing.”
Cindy giggles. The scene freezes.
“At this point, Loverboy is convinced he’s striking out. It’s a miracle he scrapes up enough courage to ask her out. It wasn’t exactly Moses-parting-the-Red-Sea stuff, but still a miracle.”
“They marry a year later, destined for a lifetime of bliss.”
“Cindy encourages Kai to follow his dreams. With her support, he quits his abysmal insurance job and starts an exciting career in the entertainment industry.”
A birthday party is going on in a suburban living room. A horde of little girls are gathered, wearing party hats and tiaras. Kai waddles in, dressed as a clown.
“The outfit is pretty good. He’s got the big, red shoes, striped pants and suspenders. But he didn’t get the makeup right. The black shadow around his eyes makes him look more Pennywise than Bozo.”
The girls scream. Five wet their pants. Three start crying, and one girl named Heather looks mean and sour, with lemon-puckered lips. She throws her dolly, Miss Future Karen, at Kai. It hits him right in the clown jewels.
Kai doubles over in pain. He recovers quickly, beseeching them. “Wait! Wait!”
He blows up several balloons, twists them in knots and holds up a beautiful pony. He repeats the process. This time it’s a wallet. Kai tells them it’s something called a trust fund. All the girls let out an “Ooo.” They move in closer.
“Kai always was good at origami.”
Kai and Cindy are sitting on a couch. A boy and a girl sit at their feet.
“They have two children.”
The little girl holds up a big, fat, bewildered, black cat.
“They have 2.5 children.”
The cat meows.
“So, that’s one possible future, and all Kai has to do is pick it.”
Fate turns to look at Kai. Now in real-time, he is walking up from the end of the block. He steps around the old woman again.
“Pardon me.”
He looks down at his shoe. He’s standing on a ten-dollar bill.
Fate grimaces. “Oh, hang on. Door number one. Don’t do it, Kai. Abort. Abort.”
The bluejay takes to wing, glides above Kai. Unsung, it craps on him.
Kai jumps back, swipes the payload off his shoulder. “Yuck.”
A gust of wind catches the bill. Kai runs after it, but another gust jerks it out of his reach. It spirals into the street and is taken up by the wheel of a taxi into the chassis.
Kai frowns. His brow furrows. “Damn it,” he curses.
He shoves his hands into his pockets. His head falls in defeat, a frequent posture for him, and he begins walking again. In a few minutes, he’s close to passing Cindy on one side and Fate on the other.
Fate rolls his eyes. “Oh, Kai.” He takes a worn, silver coin from his pocket. “I hate to leave things to Chance. He’s so unpredictable.” He flips the coin into the air. It ascends, reaches its apex and falls back to earth. Fate snatches it, slaps it onto the back of his hand.
Kai is there now. He doesn’t see Cindy. She doesn’t see him. Just one more step and he will have passed his future by.
Fate lifts his hand and looks at the coin. Its heads, Cesar Augustus. “Well, it’s been a slow day. What the hell. The emperor has spoken.”
He reaches out and gives Kai a shove. The young man stumbles sideways, crashes on top of Cindy’s table. She screams and jumps up.
The table tilts under Kai’s weight. Both topple over. Kai hits the ground. Cindy’s cup launches, dumping its contents right in his face.
Kai exhales a spray of latte and spittle.
Cindy peers over the tabletop, her eyes wide, her jaw tense with concern.
A big, fat, black cat runs up and starts licking the creamy foam off Kai’s face. He laughs and holds the furry lump at bay.
He looks up at Cindy. She looks down at him.
“Hello,” Cindy says.
Kai smiles. Cindy’s expression softens.
Kai’s voice answers back, “Hello.”
Cindy smiles. She hears only music.
The End
“I don’t celebrate birthdays at my age.”
He leans against a lamppost, looks down the street, taps his foot impatiently.
“After 2,438 and a half years, they stopped being special.” He shifts his stance. “Course, I never dreamed I’d get this old, but it came with the job.”
“Here’s a tip, if a strange Greek in a dirty toga approaches you after one of Plato’s TED talks and offers you the job of Fate, say no.”
His lips twist. He thinks about his claim.
“Not that I haven’t enjoyed being around this long, but there’s a definite downside to this type of employment. I’ve never had a day off,” he sighs, “which has got to be an HR violation, and the benefits aren’t all they’re cracked up to be.”
He looks you in the eyes.
“You don’t believe me? We only just got a dental plan around the Renaissance. We wouldn’t even have gotten that if Leonardo da Vinci hadn’t berated the higher ups about the importance of proper flossing.”
“But I’m not here to talk about me. I’m here to answer your questions about fate, and I know just the one you’re most eager to ask.”
Fate looks down his nose to assume a professorial air.
“Is there really such a thing as free will, or is my whole destiny pre-determined?”
He grins.
“Ha. Like I hadn’t heard that one before.” His voice drops. “By the way, Destiny is a lovely girl, bit self-assured but makes a great meatloaf.”
“So, what’s the answer?” he says. “Eh. It’s a little complicated but goes something like this: you are free to make certain decisions while I, as Fate, open several doors for you. Each has a different outcome. You chose the door. I don’t interfere, not my place. I just open ‘em. If you don’t like the fortune you got from the cookie, that’s on you.”
Fate looks down the street again, smiles.
“Actually, here comes my next appointment, a perfect example. I’ll show you what I mean. You can see for yourself.”
Fate comes off the lamppost which is outside a corner café. Far down the street, a young man is walking toward the eatery.
“That’s Kai Lee. He works a soul-sucking, dead-end job, pushing paper for an insurance company. Great guy. He just never seems to get a break.”
Kai’s demeanor matches Fate’s description, shoulders slumped, head down.
“Two doors are about to open for Kai, and one, door number two, will be life changing. Want to know what’s behind it?”
Fate turns, looks at a young woman sitting alone at one of the café tables. “She is.”
The woman is reading a book, sipping a latte.
“That’s Cindy Wu. She’s sweet, encouraging and ambitious. She’s also Kai’s soulmate, the love of his life. They’re going to be happier than a kid at Christmas getting his first bike.”
Fate shrugs. “That is, if he chooses the right door.”
Kai is getting closer.
“The suspense is killing you, isn’t it.” Fate rubs his hands together. “Fine. I’ll give you a sneak peek of what’s behind number two.”
Kai sidesteps around an elderly woman going the opposite direction. “Pardon me,” he says. A beautiful bluejay passes overhead. Kai looks up, whistles to the bird. The bird chirps back as it flies by.
Kai smiles. He looks around. It really is a gorgeous day. Isn’t it? He hadn’t noticed until just then.
It’s been weeks since he felt this good. His attitude has been one big dark cloud lately. He didn’t realize his mood had sunk this low until his bad luck stopped pelting him for a minute. It felt nice. He took a deep breath. His chin rose. He was at once energized and engaged as he approached the café.
That’s when he saw her. She was a dream. To Kai, it was as if she glowed by the radiance of her beauty alone.
She was reading. She didn’t notice him. Why should she? An angel wouldn’t take notice of a mere mortal about to walk by.
Cindy ran a finger through her jet-black hair, drawing a strand behind her ear.
Kai let out a schoolboy’s moan. He felt everything go into slow motion. He was entranced. His mouth dropped open. His lower lip flapped in the breeze.
Was he drooling? Oh, God. How embarrassing.
Kai’s next step took him right into Cindy’s line of sight. He was actually grateful she was reading because he’d be mortified right now if she were to –
Cindy looks up.
Oh, no. She sees him.
Kai freezes. How can this be happening? Where is a hole he can crawl into?
“Hello,” Cindy says.
Kai is pretty sure she’s just said something to him. There must have been words, but he only heard music, a carillon of little chimes coming from the heavens.
He should say something.
“Are you all right?” Cindy asks. “Do you need to sit down?”
Her question manages to pierce the fog in his brain. “Do I?”
“You look like you do.”
“Do you want me to sit down?”
Cindy giggles. “Only if you want to.”
Kai hears more music. “Ok.”
He sits down. Oh, wow, he thinks. She’s right there, right there next to him.
“I’m Cindy.” She holds out her hand.
He’s a little too quick and eager with his response and handshake. “Kai. I’m Kai. My name is Kai.”
Oh, what’s wrong with him. What is he twelve? He’s never felt this awkward. He has to say something smart, recover some crumb of dignity.
“I love your book.”
“This book?” Cindy nods to the open pages before her.
“Yes. It was great. Such a sweet story.”
She closes it, slides it across the table to him with the cover face up.
Kai looks down at the title: “The Black Plague: Medieval Medicine’s Response to Viruses and Pandemics.”
“This book? she repeats. Cindy challenges him with an inquisitive look. “You thought it was sweet?”
“Absolutely. I laughed. I cried. It was amazing.”
Cindy giggles. The scene freezes.
“At this point, Loverboy is convinced he’s striking out. It’s a miracle he scrapes up enough courage to ask her out. It wasn’t exactly Moses-parting-the-Red-Sea stuff, but still a miracle.”
“They marry a year later, destined for a lifetime of bliss.”
“Cindy encourages Kai to follow his dreams. With her support, he quits his abysmal insurance job and starts an exciting career in the entertainment industry.”
A birthday party is going on in a suburban living room. A horde of little girls are gathered, wearing party hats and tiaras. Kai waddles in, dressed as a clown.
“The outfit is pretty good. He’s got the big, red shoes, striped pants and suspenders. But he didn’t get the makeup right. The black shadow around his eyes makes him look more Pennywise than Bozo.”
The girls scream. Five wet their pants. Three start crying, and one girl named Heather looks mean and sour, with lemon-puckered lips. She throws her dolly, Miss Future Karen, at Kai. It hits him right in the clown jewels.
Kai doubles over in pain. He recovers quickly, beseeching them. “Wait! Wait!”
He blows up several balloons, twists them in knots and holds up a beautiful pony. He repeats the process. This time it’s a wallet. Kai tells them it’s something called a trust fund. All the girls let out an “Ooo.” They move in closer.
“Kai always was good at origami.”
Kai and Cindy are sitting on a couch. A boy and a girl sit at their feet.
“They have two children.”
The little girl holds up a big, fat, bewildered, black cat.
“They have 2.5 children.”
The cat meows.
“So, that’s one possible future, and all Kai has to do is pick it.”
Fate turns to look at Kai. Now in real-time, he is walking up from the end of the block. He steps around the old woman again.
“Pardon me.”
He looks down at his shoe. He’s standing on a ten-dollar bill.
Fate grimaces. “Oh, hang on. Door number one. Don’t do it, Kai. Abort. Abort.”
The bluejay takes to wing, glides above Kai. Unsung, it craps on him.
Kai jumps back, swipes the payload off his shoulder. “Yuck.”
A gust of wind catches the bill. Kai runs after it, but another gust jerks it out of his reach. It spirals into the street and is taken up by the wheel of a taxi into the chassis.
Kai frowns. His brow furrows. “Damn it,” he curses.
He shoves his hands into his pockets. His head falls in defeat, a frequent posture for him, and he begins walking again. In a few minutes, he’s close to passing Cindy on one side and Fate on the other.
Fate rolls his eyes. “Oh, Kai.” He takes a worn, silver coin from his pocket. “I hate to leave things to Chance. He’s so unpredictable.” He flips the coin into the air. It ascends, reaches its apex and falls back to earth. Fate snatches it, slaps it onto the back of his hand.
Kai is there now. He doesn’t see Cindy. She doesn’t see him. Just one more step and he will have passed his future by.
Fate lifts his hand and looks at the coin. Its heads, Cesar Augustus. “Well, it’s been a slow day. What the hell. The emperor has spoken.”
He reaches out and gives Kai a shove. The young man stumbles sideways, crashes on top of Cindy’s table. She screams and jumps up.
The table tilts under Kai’s weight. Both topple over. Kai hits the ground. Cindy’s cup launches, dumping its contents right in his face.
Kai exhales a spray of latte and spittle.
Cindy peers over the tabletop, her eyes wide, her jaw tense with concern.
A big, fat, black cat runs up and starts licking the creamy foam off Kai’s face. He laughs and holds the furry lump at bay.
He looks up at Cindy. She looks down at him.
“Hello,” Cindy says.
Kai smiles. Cindy’s expression softens.
Kai’s voice answers back, “Hello.”
Cindy smiles. She hears only music.
The End
February 9, 2024
American Fiction
It's been a while since I've seen a movie that was funny, intelligent and poignant, but last night broke that artistic drought for me when I went to see American Fiction. The film deserves all the accolades it has received and is Oscar worthy.
The movie is a family dramedy with a backdrop of social commentary that strums all the human emotional cords with an expert touch. I highly suggest you see it.
Cheers.
The movie is a family dramedy with a backdrop of social commentary that strums all the human emotional cords with an expert touch. I highly suggest you see it.
Cheers.
October 6, 2023
A Murder in the Building
I enjoyed the first two seasons of "Only Murders in the Building." I've recently finished watching the third. It was OK, but the writing wasn't as good as the prior two.
My beef with the current season lies with the last episode, the big reveal, and before you read on, let me put out a spoiler alert to those who haven't seen it. Stop reading now if you haven't.
...Ok. Are they gone? They are? Right, then let's get down to it.
By now you know that Cliff killed Ben with the handkerchief in the elevator room while Miss. Scarlett was giving Professor Plum a "Lauren Boebert" in the conservatory. Wait! Maybe I'm misremembering something about that scene. Not sure.
Anyway, Cliff killed Ben.
The whole thing consisted of some very bad dialogue that took the steam out of the series. It was totally on-the-nose. Terrible.
Ben: You poisoned me.
Cliff: No, it wasn't me. It was my mother. Let me tell you everything rather then dodge that accusation like a real criminal would.
Ben: Sure. But before you do, let me threaten you with jail, and how I will destroy your whole life.
Cliff: You are? Then let me tell you how I'm going to push you down this elevator shaft which happens to be wide open (even though it should be closed).
Ben: Wow. That is a weird coincidence. You want to kill me, and I just happen to be standing next to a gaping code violation. Darn!
You get the picture. It was a real let down. I hope the next season rebounds. Here's to better murders in the future.
Cheers!
My beef with the current season lies with the last episode, the big reveal, and before you read on, let me put out a spoiler alert to those who haven't seen it. Stop reading now if you haven't.
...Ok. Are they gone? They are? Right, then let's get down to it.
By now you know that Cliff killed Ben with the handkerchief in the elevator room while Miss. Scarlett was giving Professor Plum a "Lauren Boebert" in the conservatory. Wait! Maybe I'm misremembering something about that scene. Not sure.
Anyway, Cliff killed Ben.
The whole thing consisted of some very bad dialogue that took the steam out of the series. It was totally on-the-nose. Terrible.
Ben: You poisoned me.
Cliff: No, it wasn't me. It was my mother. Let me tell you everything rather then dodge that accusation like a real criminal would.
Ben: Sure. But before you do, let me threaten you with jail, and how I will destroy your whole life.
Cliff: You are? Then let me tell you how I'm going to push you down this elevator shaft which happens to be wide open (even though it should be closed).
Ben: Wow. That is a weird coincidence. You want to kill me, and I just happen to be standing next to a gaping code violation. Darn!
You get the picture. It was a real let down. I hope the next season rebounds. Here's to better murders in the future.
Cheers!
May 6, 2023
Queen Charlotte
Did you love Bridgerton? If you're a Jane Austen fan like me, you’re a sucker for these period pieces. So, I know you answered, “Yes. A thousand times yes.”
(See what I did there. At this point, I’d insert a wink emoji if I could).
Now comes the Bridgerton spin-off, Queen Charlotte. Six episodes to excite the Bridgerton viewership of the chance to return to the series, or at least the series adjacent.
It’s a joy I expected to share in, but no. Not so far.
I watched the first episode and came away underwhelmed. It’s just not grabbing me as the original series did. Why? As a writer, I wanted to know. I believe there’s a lot to be learned in knowing the reasons behind why something misses the mark, just as much as knowing why it hits a bullseye. The reasons I believe are as follows:
1. There just isn’t a story here. It’s a series of situations. Charlotte doesn't really want anything. If she does, she doesn't want much. As such, there’s no goal for the protagonist, and no obstruction to achieving it. Now, you might feel there is one. Charlotte tried to climb over the wall (not really a spoiler since it’s in the trailer) to stop the marriage. But that went up like poof once King Charming stepped in to offer up some sexy, royal banter. And really, who's codpiece didn't go up when he smiled.
2. There’s no romance going on. Oh, sure they got married and sweetly too. But it’s an arranged marriage. There’s no pursuit. There is no wondering whether the two lovers will get together. They already have! I realize the challenge is to get them to fall in love, but since the die is cast, it takes a bit of air out of that part of the storyline. So far, none of the elements for a romance story are in this box of chocolates.
3. There are no stakes. Stakes need a goal which we don’t have, but let’s say we did have a goal. The lack of stakes means the viewer won’t care about it. Consider. The episode ends (ok, a little spoiler here) with Charlotte being miserable. She didn’t want to get married, but now that she is she certainly wants all its trappings. Let’s stop then and ponder the fork in this road. One direction would give her all she desires, and her life goes on to be boringly perfect. Doesn’t make for a good story. So, of course things need to go badly, and they are. But so what. There aren’t really stakes (or should I say steaks) that you can sink your teeth into. Why? Because if she doesn’t get a real marriage, she’s still the queen of England, married to a man she would never grow to love. No love lost there. How would that ever hook the audience? It won’t. A character needs to suffer. But if you’re suffering in a palace, it doesn’t induce sympathy. Now if you're suffering because you're trying to get to the palace - now there's a goal, and there's stakes.
4. As a character Charlotte is likable enough, relatable even; however, her life just doesn’t pull us in. We’re sorry for her, sure, but we don’t sympathize.
I hope the series improves. Still, the fact that the first episode doesn’t grab you and never let go is a concern. And it had better soon, or Queen Charlotte’s reign will be short-lived.
(See what I did there. At this point, I’d insert a wink emoji if I could).
Now comes the Bridgerton spin-off, Queen Charlotte. Six episodes to excite the Bridgerton viewership of the chance to return to the series, or at least the series adjacent.
It’s a joy I expected to share in, but no. Not so far.
I watched the first episode and came away underwhelmed. It’s just not grabbing me as the original series did. Why? As a writer, I wanted to know. I believe there’s a lot to be learned in knowing the reasons behind why something misses the mark, just as much as knowing why it hits a bullseye. The reasons I believe are as follows:
1. There just isn’t a story here. It’s a series of situations. Charlotte doesn't really want anything. If she does, she doesn't want much. As such, there’s no goal for the protagonist, and no obstruction to achieving it. Now, you might feel there is one. Charlotte tried to climb over the wall (not really a spoiler since it’s in the trailer) to stop the marriage. But that went up like poof once King Charming stepped in to offer up some sexy, royal banter. And really, who's codpiece didn't go up when he smiled.
2. There’s no romance going on. Oh, sure they got married and sweetly too. But it’s an arranged marriage. There’s no pursuit. There is no wondering whether the two lovers will get together. They already have! I realize the challenge is to get them to fall in love, but since the die is cast, it takes a bit of air out of that part of the storyline. So far, none of the elements for a romance story are in this box of chocolates.
3. There are no stakes. Stakes need a goal which we don’t have, but let’s say we did have a goal. The lack of stakes means the viewer won’t care about it. Consider. The episode ends (ok, a little spoiler here) with Charlotte being miserable. She didn’t want to get married, but now that she is she certainly wants all its trappings. Let’s stop then and ponder the fork in this road. One direction would give her all she desires, and her life goes on to be boringly perfect. Doesn’t make for a good story. So, of course things need to go badly, and they are. But so what. There aren’t really stakes (or should I say steaks) that you can sink your teeth into. Why? Because if she doesn’t get a real marriage, she’s still the queen of England, married to a man she would never grow to love. No love lost there. How would that ever hook the audience? It won’t. A character needs to suffer. But if you’re suffering in a palace, it doesn’t induce sympathy. Now if you're suffering because you're trying to get to the palace - now there's a goal, and there's stakes.
4. As a character Charlotte is likable enough, relatable even; however, her life just doesn’t pull us in. We’re sorry for her, sure, but we don’t sympathize.
I hope the series improves. Still, the fact that the first episode doesn’t grab you and never let go is a concern. And it had better soon, or Queen Charlotte’s reign will be short-lived.
December 2, 2022
Tis the Season
Q: The most tense dialogue ever written for a Hallmark, made-for-TV, Christmas movie.
A: How are we going to bake all these cookies in time to save Christmas?
A: How are we going to bake all these cookies in time to save Christmas?
May 13, 2022
The Narcissist Honors
"Good evening, everyone. I'm William Winston, the winner of the prestigious William Winston's People's Award. I've won the award fifteen years in a row, ever since the award's inception ten years ago."
April 16, 2022
Good Friday
Faithful cross, above all other,
One and only noble tree:
None in foliage, none in blossom,
None in fruit thy peer may be,
Sweetest wood and sweetest iron,
Sweetest weight is hung on thee!
− John IV of Portugal (1604-1656)
One and only noble tree:
None in foliage, none in blossom,
None in fruit thy peer may be,
Sweetest wood and sweetest iron,
Sweetest weight is hung on thee!
− John IV of Portugal (1604-1656)
April 5, 2022
Fists of Fury?
Recently, I spent 10 hours on a flight back to the United States. Given that expanse of time, and the fact you can't go anywhere, I did the logical thing. I watched movies.
Two actually. Mortal Kombat and Snake Eyes. Man did I count myself as lucky. Thank God I didn't pay to see them in the theater.
Indeed, I needed some Advil after watching them. All that eye-rolling gave me a headache.
There were two major problems with both these films. The first being that the dialogue was often shlocky, the storyline often childish. The second was that I found myself saying the most dreaded eight words anyone can say about a film. "I don't care about any of these people."
I realize these types of films have a serious fanbase, but Hollywood needs to write better scripts than these. Make it believable. Make it organic. And don't leave the audience needing a pain pill once the movies over.
Two actually. Mortal Kombat and Snake Eyes. Man did I count myself as lucky. Thank God I didn't pay to see them in the theater.
Indeed, I needed some Advil after watching them. All that eye-rolling gave me a headache.
There were two major problems with both these films. The first being that the dialogue was often shlocky, the storyline often childish. The second was that I found myself saying the most dreaded eight words anyone can say about a film. "I don't care about any of these people."
I realize these types of films have a serious fanbase, but Hollywood needs to write better scripts than these. Make it believable. Make it organic. And don't leave the audience needing a pain pill once the movies over.
