Steven Colborne's Blog, page 57

Great Sadness and Great Joy

I watched a 45 minute interview with David Icke on London Real and it was very passionate and moving. It has been viewed over 3 million times in just a few days. David talks about how the current coronavirus pandemic and global economic collapse has been engineered by a few very powerful people operating in the shadows who want to ultimately create a technocratic world government.

So much of what David says seems to be true, although it must largely be taken on faith because he doesn’t reveal his sources.

I have felt deeply sad today. I’m sad for myself and I’m sad for Planet Earth. We are a planet that suffers terribly. A planet where people use and abuse one another. A planet where the most cruel and vicious seemingly have the power to make the majority suffer gratuitously for their own gain.

But I have also been listening to great music, which reminds me that Earth can be very beautiful, too. I’ve been listening to lots of different live versions of the Coldplay song Politik and have been deeply moved. It’s one of my favourite ever songs.

The two videos embedded below capture so much of what is bad and good about humanity, and I really hope you will watch them both in their entirety.

 

A Question For You…

Hello friends. How are you? I’m hoping you are all as well as can be in these uncertain times. I am isolating in my flat in London at the moment because for the last few days I’ve had a headache, and I know this can be one of the initial signs of the coronavirus. I’m not coughing, though, and I feel okay.

I’ve been wondering how I can make good use of my time in isolation and I’m thinking of publishing a short daily blog post. I’m sure I’m not the first person to have had this idea, and I don’t want to post just for the sake of it, so I’m trying to think of an interesting series that will be stimulating for both writer and reader.

To this end, I’ve decided to ask you all for your feedback. You’ll find a poll if you scroll down, and I’ve also provided some titles and summaries to explain a bit about my suggestions for the possible focus of this new series. Please vote for your favourite idea, or add your own if there’s something else you’d prefer for me to blog about.

The options appear in the poll in a random order (the order is different for every viewer). I will publish a blog post in the next few days with the results. I hope this works (if you experience any technical problems please email me) and I very much hope you’ll take part. Thank you in advance!

Coronavirus and God: A Daily Reflection

A look at some key theological and philosophical issues that are relevant to the coronavirus pandemic. For instance, what is God’s role in all this?

A Thought and a Prayer

Not necessarily linked to the coronavirus situation. Just a short post sharing whatever is on my mind. I suppose this would be like a diary.

Coronavirus: An Update from London

Sharing what’s happening in London in relation to the coronavirus. Less theological and more practical reflections on day to day living in London at this time.

‘Ultimate Truth: God Beyond Religion’ — A Daily Extract

A short daily extract from the second book I wrote, back in 2013. The book discusses my problems with the Christian worldview from a philosophical perspective.

Other

Feel free to add your own suggestion!

Take Our Poll

Why Would God Do This?

I’ve been feeling very angry. I just have no idea why God has to make everything so hard and miserable all the time. All the sickness, depression, poverty, hospitals, fear, bad news, etc, etc, etc, every single day for years, decades, centuries. It’s so annoying.

Does God really find pleasure in making us all suffer so much? I have no doubt God is the cause of all our suffering even if Christians defy all reason and explain everything bad away as ‘the devil’, as though God’s power is strictly limited to causing good things to happen, which is an utterly insane philosophical position to take.

I can’t read a book for five seconds, or watch a video for five seconds, without feeling as though I’m being controlled and have to stop. It’s so frustrating, because God will make me feel really enthusiastic about doing something, and then as soon as I start doing it I feel an oppressive energy and have to stop in order to restore my peace. It is so incredibly annoying! I am so sick of it.

God is in control and understands this. I just wish God would not make everything so miserable and difficult all the time. He certainly doesn’t have to.

Lord God, I know You understand what’s going on. Because You’re causing it. I just ask for You to be so much kinder to me, and to the world, than You have been and are being. Please be kind, Lord. Please be merciful and generous and not cruel. I know things could be so much worse, but they could also be so much better.

Please, God, help me to understand why I can’t even watch my favourite YouTubers for five seconds before feeling I have to switch off because I’m being controlled. Maybe it’s because I’m attuned to the advertising and brainwashing practices of the tech industry or something, I don’t know. But you’re in control of all that. Please, God, help me to understand what’s going on with world events, and what I should be doing that would be satisfying and beneficial. Please be kind to me, God, and to us all. Amen.

(Image by Terri Sharp from Pixabay)

Repentance Letter to God

Lord God, please protect me from anyone who would seek to bully me. I know there are some fear-driven cults which can be very strong, even aggressive in their evangelising methods. Please Lord, keep me safe from anyone who might try to bully me around to a distorted view of reality which doesn’t accord with Ultimate Truth.

Lord God, I realise there are some, even many, who claim to be Christian, and don’t follow the teachings of Jesus in relation to love and evangelism. I know, Lord, that people try to use Christianity for their selfish intentions. Please humble such people and point them to Truth Eternal, rather than beliefs which do not accord with the True nature of things.

Lord, if I am mistaken in this matter, please correct me. If my thinking is under the influence of evil forces, please liberate me. If I am being unkind and unfair, please show me the way You would have me be instead. Lord God, You know that I am wholeheartedly willing to live for Jesus, should that be the only way to have peace with You.

But Lord, is it not true that my very doubts about the Christian faith come from You? Is it not true that You are in sovereign control of all of those activities that Christians describe as sinful? Lord, it may be the case that some people, out of selfish ambition, or simply fear, will force their erroneous views onto others. I ask You to correct me if there is anything amiss in my thinking.

Lord, You know that in recent years I have asked You to correct any errors in my thinking. Please do, Lord. On the other hand, if it is the Christian whose thinking is in error, please correct them, oh sovereign Lord. Whatever you decree in relation to these matters, I ask You and Jesus Christ for mercy, and I’m sorry if I have thought, said, or done anything which is an affront to you.

I am seriously wondering, Lord, whether I may be in error in my thinking. But I am so very convinced, Lord, that we don’t have free will, and that I have the arguments to persuade any thinker that you are in control of all that happens. Through this current thought process, Lord, You appear to be showing me that the Christian worldview can be justified and persuasive. If this is so, please show me the areas in which my own philosophy fails, so I can confidently embrace the Gospel and the Christian message and live for Jesus.

Lord God, is it true that I am a sinner in need of repentance? Is it the case that I have free will? I ask You, God, in all humility and with all sincerity to give me correct thinking in these matters.

Lord, I feel I may have done wrong in writing passionately about the errors in Christian doctrine, but all that I have argued is that You are in control of my every thought, word, and action — is this not the case? Can one be a Christian, believing in the doctrines of sin and judgment, and at the same time believe that You are sovereign over all events?

Lord God, I miss Christian fellowship deeply, and I do not enjoy being isolated in my thinking. I would love to return to Christianity if You would give me truths that I can hold onto. If You will highlight where my philosophy is in error, and where the words of Jesus are more truthful than mine, then I will give my everything to the Christian faith for as long as I have left. I would love to be able to feel safe and secure and part of a family, Lord God. But isn’t it true that You are in control of this predicament that I face and that I am here describing? Is it not true that I am a puppet in Your sovereign hands, and that I can do nothing other than that which You would sovereignly have me do?

Christians talk about perseverance in the faith, but surely, God, You are in control of who perseveres, and who doesn’t? I write these words on my knees, and I beg of You, Lord, if the way to be saved is to follow the teachings of Jesus, and if there is truly no other way to have peace with You, then give me a solid conviction of the Christian gospel, and do not let me depart from that conviction for as long as I live.

Lord, I have nothing to freely offer You in relation to this matter. I recognise myself to be an empty vessel. But I have feelings, and I suffer, and I desperately don’t want to suffer any more. I would love to be reunited with the body of Christ and be forgiven and accepted by You, Lord. I ask that if Satan is blocking my way to peace and life that You would expel him from my mind, body, and spirit FOREVER! Lord, if I am merely a vessel, please fill this vessel with the peace and joy of the Holy Spirit, please forgive my sins and accept me back into the body of Christ, and let me never again stray from the path that leads to eternal life.

I’m sorry, God, if I have sinned, if I have been haughty or arrogant. But I know that You understand what has unfolded in my life better than I understand it myself. I can only do this, Lord, if it is Your will. I apologise wholeheartedly and I submit and give my life and all that I am to You and Your beloved Son. I ask that You would always keep me in Truth, and under Your blessing, favour, and protection. Even if Christianity is hard, I know that punishment from You would be so very terrible — You are certainly able to punish with frightening severity, if You choose.

Lord God, accept me into Your Kingdom, forgive me of my sins, give me a solid and coherent faith, and please, Lord, please end my struggle with these issues and let me come out a winner — a winner of peace with You, and of eternal life — that is all I ask for, Lord. I only want for my suffering to be little, Lord, and so I give everything to You today. I leave all my fears, doubts, and insecurities at the foot of the cross, I repent of my sins, I’m sorry for my hardness of heart, I’m grateful for Your mercy and forgiveness, and I ask that You would fill me with the joy of knowing I am loved by You and always will be. Amen.

This letter was written today, Monday 16th March 2020, following yesterday’s day of prayer in response to the coronavirus. Thank you to everyone who follows this blog, or is a visitor, and has been praying for me in relation to my philosophy and my spiritual struggles.

(Photo by Francesco Alberti on Unsplash)

Trust in Him

God is awesome, majestic, wonderful, glorious, wise, humorous, grand, mysterious, mighty, and greatly to be feared.

God is masterful in His creativity, He’s a friend to the poor in spirit, He’s the solution to every problem, the answer to every question, the peace in the midst of the chaos, the cure for every ailment.

God is the strong and fearless creator of the Universe, sovereign over every event, creating confusion and then bringing a solution, knocking you down so He can raise you back up, giving you a punishing depression and then turning it into ecstatic elation, creating great suffering and then bringing relief and healing.

God did not create the Universe at some time in the past and then sit back and watch it unfold from a distance, He is a living and omnipresent God who is unfolding every event in this single eternal moment, which is not ontologically distinct from Him.

God is not the author of only some events, but is actively unfolding all events. God is not in competition with an enemy, He is all-powerful and nothing ever happens that He does not actively bring about.

There is not an atom anywhere in existence which is outside of God’s sovereign present moment control.

These words about God are true. Trust in Him.

Brexit and Feeling Patriotic

I’ve been sleeping a lot these last couple of days. It’s a way of escaping from the world and from the very many depressive thoughts which I’ve been experiencing. In this blog post, I’d like to share what’s been on my mind, which will be good therapy for me, and readers may also find my reflections interesting any encouraging. So do read on if the title of this article and this introduction are of interest to you.

There’s an online forum that I go to regularly to share my feelings and support others who are experiencing difficult states of mind. I’ve been feeling so low and lonely recently, but I can always count on this forum for sympathy and support. It really is a wonderful place.

I posted on the forum about how depressed I’ve been feeling over the last couple of days, and a fellow member very kindly offered to chat with me in the private messages so I could share what’s on my mind. I’m very selective about who I trust with my feelings, but thought I had nothing to lose in chatting with this person.

As soon as I started to explain what’s been on my mind, the tears flowed. I realised how deep this depression has been and how much I’ve been struggling with it. As soon as I felt the effect of someone willing to listen and understand, it was a great relief. I generally only share my feelings with people who I sense have experience and emotional expertise, because otherwise, in my experience, people can make you feel worse rather than better.

When I thought about why I have been feeling so low, various reasons came to mind. They are mostly linked to Brexit and my dual English / Dutch heritage. I find it very difficult to be patriotic in a country where European heritage is considered by many to be an association they no longer embrace.

I do feel, though, that in many ways I am probably “more British” than very many citizens who live in the United Kingdom. I was born in Cambridge, grew up in Oxfordshire, and studied in London. My father is English and I have lived in the UK for my entire life. You might think that would make me feel British enough. And maybe that is enough. But being a part of the European Union, with all its benefits, is a situation that has been rejected by the majority of UK voters, and this leaves me feeling rather insecure about the Dutch aspect of my heritage.

Another big subject that has been influencing my depression is my lack of having a church community. Since I stepped away from the Christian faith, I have lost nearly all of my Christian friends. One of the wonderful things about Christian practice is the sense of community and inclusiveness. Nationality is not put before relationship with God. This is the way things should be, in my opinion.

I have shared several times on this blog about my difficult relationship with my father. I’m not sure about this, but I feel that perhaps the reason why my father has been so emotionally distant from me for my entire life is because on one level he feels regret, possibly due to bullying and peer pressure, for having a child of partly European heritage. I don’t know if this is true, because he and I have never had this conversation, but it’s something I suspect.

I honestly feel I have a lot to offer this country, and also the world. God has given me some wonderful philosophical insights, which I have written about in my books and on this blog, and these insights give my life meaning and make my life worthwhile. It’s so saddening that this must be eclipsed, at times, by arbitrary land divisions which mean I feel unable to be secure and confident in my identity.

I want the United Kingdom to be a country where prayer, compassion, and God are at the centre of our politics and civic life. That would give me great reason to feel patriotic and confident about who I am, and about all that I have to contribute to British society, and to the world.

(Image by Pete Linforth from Pixabay)

Deep Thoughts About God (series outro)

Hello everyone! I have made a brief video summarising what I hoped to achieve in my Deep Thoughts About God video series, which is now complete. There are twenty videos in the series, and I hope you have had an opportunity to watch some or all of them, and that you have found the content stimulating.

The series outro video is below, and you’re welcome to comment over on YouTube if you would like to. And one final mention that if you’d like to read the book on which the videos in this series are based, you can get a copy here. Thank you for reading / watching!

Jesus the Creator? (video)

Greetings and welcome to the final video in my Deep Thoughts About God series. In this video, I explore the Christian claim that Jesus played a role in the creation of the world, along with God the Father and the Holy Spirit.

With reference to Scripture, and also through my own reflections, I explore whether it’s possible for a complex being to have eternal existence, and whether or not Jesus has always existed.

What are your views on the ideas discussed in this video? Comments are open over on YouTube, so feel free to share your thoughts if there’s anything you’d like to contribute.

And that’s a wrap for my Deep Thoughts About God series! Although every video in this series has been based on a chapter from my book God’s Grand Game, there are also many more chapters in the book which I have not represented in video form. Therefore, there is still every good reason to buy a copy of the book, which you can do here.

There will actually be one final video published tomorrow, just to wrap up the series and explain what I have hoped to achieve in making these videos. So keep an eye out for that

Molinism Refuted (video)

We’re nearing the end of my Deep Thoughts About God video series now, with only a further two videos to come after today’s instalment. I really hope you’ve found the series interesting and thought provoking!

In this week’s video, I discuss the theological perspective known as Molinism. This is a perspective which attempts to reconcile the divine sovereignty versus human free will problem, a matter central to Christian theology and theology in general.

What did you think of my explanation of Molinism and the three refutations of Molinist theology which I gave in the video? Comments are open on YouTube, so feel free to head over and share your thoughts. You can also subscribe to my channel to be notified of new videos as soon as they are released.

To check out the book that accompanies this series:

www.godsgrandgame.info

Thank you for reading / watching, and I’ll see you again soon!

The Confusion of Calvinism (video)

An emphasis on the sovereignty of God is a powerfully attractive element of the theological framework known as Calvinism. However, I believe Calvinist theology suffers from a serious problem, which is the difficulty of trying to hold on to the fundamental Christian belief in free will, while at the same time emphasising the sovereignty of God over all events.

In my view, Calvinism fails to address this problem adequately, and in this video, I explain how I have arrived at this conclusion.

What are your views on the argument against Calvinism that I made in this video? Comments are open over on YouTube if you would like to respond.

In the next video in this series, I’ll be looking at another theological framework which attempts to solve the divine sovereignty versus human free will predicament — the perspective of Molinism.

If you’d like to follow along with this series and be notified when each new video is released, please consider subscribing to my channel over on YouTube.

Thank you for reading / watching!