Steven Colborne's Blog, page 58
February 11, 2020
Change of Domain Name
Hello everyone. I was unable to publish a philosophy post today because I’ve been really struggling with a nasty bout of depression. But I did just want to let you know about a couple of ‘housekeeping’ details.
The address for this blog has changed from perfectchaos.org to perfectchaos.blog
All links which include the former URL will continue to work just fine, and you can still access the blog using .org, it will just redirect to .blog in your browser. If any of you have the blog saved in your bookmarks, you may wish to update the relevant bookmark.
Also, I have cancelled my email address steven@perfectchaos.org because it was frankly extortionate having to pay for G-Suite which enabled that to work. Taking into consideration the domain name change I’m telling you about today, that email address would become less relevant anyway. I’ve updated the contact page with my gmail address, which will be the best email address to contact me on going forward.
I’ll be back on Thursday with a Deep Thoughts About God video entitled ‘The Confusion of Calvinism’, which is likely to ruffle a few feathers…
Until then, have a blessed day and thank you for your interest in my blog-related activities! 
February 6, 2020
The Myth of the Fall (video)
Hi everyone! This week’s video is the seventeenth in my Deep Thoughts About God series. The subject today is the Christian idea of the fall of man. I discuss whether, in reality, it’s possible for anything (or anyone) to live in a state that is separate from, or estranged from God, as Christians who believe in the fall argue we are.
What are your thoughts on the Christian idea of the fall of man? Do you believe that our intrinsic state is separation from God because of what happened in the Garden of Eden? Comments are open over on YouTube so feel free to share your thoughts if there’s anything you’d like to express.
Next Thursday I’m planning to return with a video entitled ‘The Confusion of Calvinism’ in which I explain why I find Calvinist theology to be illogical in certain respects, especially when it comes to the free will debate.
I hope that you will consider subscribing to my channel over on YouTube, so that you can be notified as soon as new videos are released. Thank you for reading / watching!
(Image by Capri23auto from Pixabay)
February 4, 2020
One Star Reviews
There comes a time on the journey of every author when something happens that has the potential to crush their spirit. Yes, I’m talking about the dreaded one star review.
Somebody really dislikes my book and they want everyone to know. Ouch!
A few weeks ago, within a very short space of time, I was confronted with not one but two reviews of this kind, for my latest book, Big Ideas from Ancient Greece.
I have never had a one star review before for any of my books, so getting two in one go was a bit of a shocker. But praise God for the humility check!
The book in question is composed of twelve short chapters, each one looking at a big idea from a philosopher from ancient Greece. It’s based on the Friday Philosophy series I ran on this blog last year, which some of you will have seen. In the book, after discussing each big idea I present a reflection on that idea based on my own philosophical perspective.
One of the reviewers who disliked the book claimed that it had no academic merit. Well, it’s certainly not a heavily academic book, that’s true. I intended to make it accessible. Another complaint was that each chapter was just a lead-in to a theological argument. I make no apology for that; it’s one of the purposes of the book.
The reason why I released a short book of this kind is because I wanted there to exist on Amazon a free introduction to my philosophy. The plan was to make the book available for free periodically, as a way of introducing readers to my work and hopefully persuading some of them to explore my other books.
[image error]Big Ideas from Ancient Greece was professionally edited, and I created it with the same care and attention to detail which I strive for with all my books. Yes, it’s short, and yes, it’s not especially academic, but I do believe it’s a great introduction to both ancient Greek philosophy and my own philosophy.
As the two one star reviews are the only reviews the book has had so far, I considered pulling the book from the Amazon store, because I don’t want it to reflect badly on my other work. But then I prayed about it, and God brought to my mind an idea: Why not ask the blogging community to help me out?
So, I have hatched a plan. I’m going to offer free copies of the book (either printed or as an eBook) to anyone reading this who is interested in giving it a read. If you enjoy the book, please leave a positive review! If you don’t enjoy the book, just do nothing — you don’t even need to tell me. No big deal.
If a few of you who are reading this leave 3, 4, or (hopefully!) 5 star reviews, that will mitigate the damage and make me feel a lot more confident about keeping the book on sale, which is really important to me.
Are you willing to help me out and get a free book in the process? Please let me know by either emailing steven@perfectchaos.org or leaving a comment below. I will love you forever!
This is a small bump along the road of being an author and, looking on the bright side, I now know there are two people in the world who think I’m a star…
Thank you for reading!
February 2, 2020
What Happened over the Summer
Friends, I’ve been reflecting on what a turbulent time the summer of last year was. If you’ve been following this blog for a while, you’ll know that I got really tired of living with an abusive neighbour and packed up a bag one day and left the flat without the intention of coming back. I spent some time staying in temporary accommodation while I made plans to move into privately rented accommodation and start a business.
All of this happened around August / September 2019, and although I have been publishing philosophy and theology posts since then, I’m aware that I haven’t really written a proper update explaining what happened. I’m sorry if any of you have been wondering, or feeling confused — I know many of you care (not that I deserve you to!)
Around September time I was supposed to be moving to Wimbledon, which is located in another borough of South London a short journey from where I had been living in Wandsworth. I had found a room in a flatshare in what felt like a good location. I would have been sharing with an Indian couple and an Italian girl. I was also planning to start up a small business working from home, and I had gone some way along the process of applying for a small business loan in order to do this.
So what happened? Well, I found that I didn’t feel comfortable in that place at all. For starters, the vibes that I got from the flatmates were not good. Also, it was quite a small flat without a communal living room, and having been living in a self-contained one bedroom flat for the last few years I found it very difficult transitioning into a shared flat where there was much less privacy and space.
Another thing that made me unhappy is that Wimbledon is a very expensive area. Although the rent for the room was reasonable, the living costs would have been very high. The only local supermarket was very expensive, and all the public amenities nearby were as well. In general, the whole feel of the area was not what I was expecting, and I found I was feeling unwelcome, lonely, and paranoid — not settling in well at all.
There came a day when, after I got into an argument with the Indian couple about some domestic issue, I felt that things weren’t working out, and that I should probably leave. I was in danger of becoming homeless, and I phoned the mental health crisis line, as well as my sister, to ask for advice. The general consensus was that it would be wise to return to my previous accommodation, even though I had given in my notice. I wrote an email to the landlord of my previous accommodation explaining that I would like to revoke my notice and return to the property.
I wasn’t happy about going back, because I had left that property feeling I was unable to continue putting up with the abusive behaviour of my neighbours. But it felt like the best thing to do in the circumstances. I had cancelled all the services for the flat — gas, electricity, water, TV licence, Internet, etc, and had also made the decision to come off state benefits because I intended to start being self-employed.
After I returned to the Wandsworth flat, which I felt very uneasy about (all things considered), I had to go through an upsetting and stressful process of severing my contract with the landlord from the Wimbledon flat and settling back into the old flat by taking out new contracts with all the aforementioned utility companies, and reapplying for the state benefits that would allow me to pay my rent. A complicating factor is that my bank had mistakenly cancelled my debit card while all this was going on, so I had very limited access to money.
In time, things settled down a little, and I was able to arrange the practicalities of moving back into the old place. I had given a lot of my belongings to a local church, because my room in the Wimbledon flat was relatively small, and I was fully intending never to return to the old place. I had to make several visits to the job centre to provide evidence of what was going on with my finances during this period, and one of their staff was very unkind and unhelpful, which made an already difficult situation a lot harder.
By around the middle of October, I had pretty much sorted out everything important back in the Wandsworth flat. The neighbour who had been causing me all the trouble that had prompted me to wish to move out was still behaving just as before (playing the very loud music, etc), and since I have moved back we have barely spoken, except that I think he knows I reported his behaviour because he has been very cold with me when we’ve crossed paths. He also stamps loudly on the floor outside my flat when he passes by, which I think is another of his cruel intimidation tactics.
Living in this flat would be wonderful if it wasn’t for the troubles I’ve had with both of my neighbours who live in the same building. Honestly, in the grand scheme of things, it could be much worse. But then, things can always be much worse.
There are things about living back in the old place — general atmosphere of the area, cheaper shopping, having my own space, good transport connections — that make this a great place to live in many ways. On a daily basis, when my neighbours act in a way that is thoughtless or antisocial, it frustrates me greatly, and I still often find myself thinking about how much I would love to find a place where I could be friends with my neighbours. Living within the mental health system can be really tough at times, and on a regular basis I have the urge to take steps towards living more independently, entering into employment again, and maybe looking to buy a small flat somewhere (if I were able to find the money for a deposit and get a mortgage).
I must, and do, always count my blessings. I have been able to purchase a few things for the flat to replace some of the items I gave away, and I’m feeling like I’ve settled back in well, although I feel frustration about my neighbours on a daily basis. Both of my neighbours have mental health problems, so I suppose I shouldn’t expect a totally easy ride. And I know there have been times in the past (before I moved here) when I have not been the best neighbour myself due to going through a mental health crisis, so I shouldn’t be too quick to point the finger at others, even though they are difficult all the time, crisis or no crisis.
I hope that this post brings you up to speed with what’s been going on. If you’re the praying type, prayers for clarity and peace concerning living and working would be appreciated! I do a lot of journalling these days and I feel like a bit of a broken record because there have been so many journal entries entreating God to show me a happy and clear way forward!
Thank you for reading, and I should be back on Tuesday with a philosophy / theology post. God bless you all, and have a great week!
(Image by OltreCreativeAgency from Pixabay)
January 29, 2020
No Video Post Today
Greetings everyone! Just a quick update. Normally I post a new video in my Deep Thoughts About God series every Thursday, but after every fourth week I have to take a week off to film a batch of new ones. That’s what I’m doing today.
Here’s the evidence!
[image error]
It’s currently 6:40am here in London and I have to wait until 8am to begin filming as I don’t want to disturb my neighbours. Not that they care the slightest bit about me, as regular readers of the blog will know and understand!
Today’s filming is going to be pretty tiring I expect, because I’m covering some quite meaty subjects such as Calvinism and Molinism.
One of the hardest things about standing and filming these videos is that my feet go really numb from standing in the same place too long! It always causes a dilemma, because I need to walk about to help the blood flow in my feet but don’t want to lose the flow of filming. If any video makers are reading this and experience the same thing, tips and sympathy appreciated!
Wishing you all a peaceful and blessed day 

January 28, 2020
Is God Ever Really Absent?
A few days ago, I heard someone use the phrase “Without God” and it got me thinking about what this phrase might mean. It’s not uncommon for a Christian to say, for instance, “Without God I am lost”, “I can’t do this without God” or “I couldn’t carry on without God”.
Christians often talk about the way in which we can become estranged from God. One of the key events in the Christian story is the fall of man, when it is believed a kind of separation between man and God took place. Also, as exemplified above, Christians talk about scenarios where people supposedly choose to abandon God and “go their own way”.
So, what are the areas of our lives from which God, according to the phraseology Christians use, can become detached? I believe that by pondering the ontology of God — that is what exactly God is, we can shed light on this matter. Have you ever thought about what God is?
We can use words to describe God like mighty, benevolent, forgiving… but such phrases do not describe the ontology of God. If we’re looking at what God is, we need to ask questions like “What is God’s form?” and “Is God embodied?” Two particularly useful questions we can ask are “Where is God?” and “What is God doing right now?”
Pondering these questions is what brought me to the realisation that God must be boundless being, rather than contained in an embodied form. If you say a prayer such as “God, please bless my job interview” or “God, please give me a safe journey” you are acknowledging that God is in control of the events of your life. If God is ensuring that your train journey or job interview goes well, then it would be highly illogical to argue that God is separate from existence.
When I observe the world around me, and examine my own consciousness, it looks and feels to me as though they are without boundaries. If existence doesn’t have boundaries, then there is no place where existence ends and God begins. So, according to this logic, God’s being must permeate existence in a boundless way.
I understand now, after thinking these things through, that there is no separateness from God, and that God is everywhere. To use a philosophical phrase, this is a kind of pantheism (all is God), or panentheism (all is in God). This is the understanding of God that makes the most sense to me, although it does cause serious problems in terms of the Christian worldview, because if there is no separateness from God, there is no freedom from God, or free will. This means that we are no longer responsible for sin, and it also means that the idea of divine judgment makes little sense.
Christian readers, are you willing to reconsider your understanding of the Christian faith in light of what I’ve said in this article? For many people, this would be a very fearful thing to do, because the message of Christianity is very powerful in the way it can grip our lives. But remember, Christianity presents one worldview among very many. There are billions of people who live and die outside of the Christian faith.
All I ask is that you consider the arguments I’ve made in this article for yourself, and with an open mind. It may be that the fear of questioning your Christianity is stronger for you than your willingness to accept certain truths. That’s understandable, I don’t want to go to hell either, and so I respect your decision.
But my final thought is this. Is it really likely that God will punish you for your actions if it is He who made those actions happen? Do you believe in such an unspeakably cruel, unkind, and unjust God?
By all means, carry on with your Christian walk and live with the problems I have described in this article. I would certainly understand your desire to do so. But, if I am correct, and God is in control of all events, then God has caused me to write this article, and He has caused you to read it, and perhaps there is a reason why.
The theme of God’s omnipresence is at the heart of my latest book, entitled God’s Grand Game, which explores the divine sovereignty versus human free will problem in depth and from a range of different angles. To buy the book, go here. Thank you for reading.
January 24, 2020
The Great Vacuousness of All that I Am and Ever Will Do
The question of why there is something rather than nothing — why anything exists at all — is very confusing to me. However, I realise that confusion is just an energetic state; it’s perfectly possible that to You (God) there is no mystery. It is a strange thing being a creature, knowing that You are controlling my every thought, word, deed, and bodily process, and that I don’t exist as a free creature, despite having lived for 37 years as Steven Colborne.
When I have a conversation with someone, what is really happening is that You are talking with Yourself. One puppet is talking to another puppet. This is Ultimate Truth. I can understand why You might find this frustrating — never having another free creature with whom to interact, and having to live without genuine free interaction for all eternity. Of course, that is a very human perspective, and it’s quite possible that You experience perfect bliss at all times, and that it is only Your puppets — Your creatures — that experience suffering. I have speculated in my books that perhaps on one level You experience everything that we experience, but on another level, You remain free from, and distinct from, our suffering. I can only speculate, because my perception and understanding are limited — I am in a kind of creaturely prison where things are deeply mysterious.
There is nothing I could go through, gain, or achieve, that would add anything to what You already know — that could surprise You or alter Your understanding of things. This is one of the characteristics of Your “aloneness” and “oneness” — You are already complete, whether this is a joyful thing or not. There is nothing new under the sun (or, indeed, anywhere in existence). Even these words that I am now sharing are intrinsically meaningless, as everything is.
Considering all of the above, there is nothing more to say. I rest my case.
January 23, 2020
Is Jesus the Only Way? (video)
Today, I’m bringing you the sixteenth video in my Deep Thoughts About God series, which is the visual accompaniment to my book God’s Grand Game. This video looks at the problem of the exclusive truth claims of the Christian religion.
From a Christian perspective, Jesus is the only way to have peace with God — He even described Himself as “the way, the truth, and the life” and said “no one comes to the Father except through me” (John 14:6). But isn’t it true that God has created the other religions of planet Earth — religions to which millions of non-Christians dedicate their lives? Does God’s will extend to the lives of the people of all religions and no religion and not just Christians?
Watch the video to find out my thoughts on the matter.
I hope that you enjoyed this video and found it thought provoking. Remember that this video is only one in a series, so if you’re interested in a deeper exploration of the subjects covered in this video I invite you to consider subscribing to my YouTube channel. On my channel, you can view all the previous videos in the series, and also opt in to be notified when new videos are released, generally every Thursday.
Comments are open over on YouTube if you’d like to share your views on the subjects I discussed in this video. You can also follow the series if you’re on Instagram, as I post an edited version of each video to IGTV every Friday. My Instagram profile can be found here.
Thank you for reading / watching, and I’ll see you again soon.
January 22, 2020
An Apology and an Update
Greetings, dear ones. Firstly, I wanted to apologise for generally closing the comments on most of my posts these days. I’m sorry if it has frustrated anyone. I find the Internet can be quite an unpleasant place, especially when you’re posting controversial content as I often do.
To be honest, I don’t want to have to feel a sense of dread about checking my phone and blog, so I’m trying to organise my digital world accordingly. I want my experience of blogging to be a happy one, so that I will feel motivated to keep it up. I hope this makes sense, and that you understand. If you’re itching to comment after reading a post, you can always email me about anything you’d like to discuss. Or, you could of course write a post yourself in response — unfortunately, I can’t stop you doing that! 
January 16, 2020
God’s Grand Game (video)
From a certain perspective, the universe can be seen as a cosmic playground in which all events unfold by the will and creative power of God. This creative work of God, who I believe is animating all events in the eternal present moment, might be fittingly described as God’s Grand Game.
In this video, the fifteenth in my Deep Thoughts About God series, I explore why I believe in this perspective, and I discuss the implications of God’s attribute of omnipresence for the Christian worldview.
I hope that you enjoyed watching this video, and if you’d like to leave any feedback or thoughts, the comments are open over on YouTube. The book I have written which shares the title of this video (God’s Grand Game) is available from Amazon as well as a range of other retailers — click this link to see a selection of the most popular outlets.
I’m currently releasing new videos in this series every week, so I invite you to subscribe to my YouTube channel and ring the notification bell to be informed as soon as each new video goes live. If you’re unable (or unwilling!) to view the video, this post is essentially a written version of the video content.
Thank you for reading and watching, and I’ll see you again soon.
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