Jonelle Patrick's Blog, page 26
September 1, 2018
Totoro Cream Puffs
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I feel kind of sorry for the staff at the Tolo Bakery & Cafe, because how many times can you hear, “Kawaiiiii!” in one day without checking yourself into the loony bin? Seriously, even if you’re not at all the sort of person who squeals it all over everything from coffee foam to pit bull puppies, I dare you to walk in there and NOT SAY IT. Trust me, you will lose this one. It will spring from your lips as though free will were not a Thing.
And because these Miyazakian pastries also happen to be delicious, they are worth every step of the ten minute walk from Shimo-kitazawa Station, even in blazing sun, pouring rain, or raging typhoon.
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As if lethal levels of adorableness weren’t enough, the fillings come in four delish flavors: green tea, strawberry, chocolate and vanilla custard.
If you’d like to visit the Tolo Bakery & Cafe the next time you’re in Tokyo (and trust me, you do!) a map is on my website, The Tokyo Guide I Wish I’d Had.
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When not biting the ears off Totoro cream puffs, Jonelle Patrick writes novels set in Tokyo
June 26, 2018
Funeral For A…What?
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So, I was walking through the stately Ikegami Hongan-ji temple grounds this spring, and I saw this sign. I guess with the shrinking population and all, the number of regular funerals is going down, so they’re branching out into…pet funerals. Yes, for about $350, you can have a real priest chant real sutras over your beloved dog or cat or…wait a minute!
Okay, I can see how a rabbit might wriggle its way into your affections enough to deserve spending a couple hundred smackers on sending it into the next life. And maybe even the guinea pig, although that one is kind of a stretch. But…a parakeet? A fish? A GIANT BEETLE?
And that’s for the group rate (your beloved Fifi’s ashes interred in a sort of mass grave). If you want a dedicated funeral and burial niche for Miss Fluffington of Bigglesworth, it’ll set you back nearly a thou.
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When not pondering the inclusive pet hereafter, Jonelle Patrick writes novels set in Tokyo
“A genuinely gripping crime thriller which wrong-foots and perplexes the reader throughout, drawing us in emotionally . . . Highly recommended.”
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When Detective Kenji Nakamura’s phone rings with the news that his mother’s death wasn’t an accident, his life begins to unravel…read more
March 26, 2018
Cherry Blossom Report 2018
Yikes, everything is blooming crazy early this year! Here are a few highlights, as of March 27. For directions and maps, head over to The Best Cherry Blossom Spots in Tokyo
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Shinjuku Gyouen Garden – Shinjuku
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March 20, 2018, early blooming variety
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March 20, 2018, early blooming variety
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March 20, 2018, early blooming variety
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Meguro River – Nakameguro
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March 23, 2018, cherry variety that blooms at the typical cherry blossom time
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March 23, 2018, cherry variety that blooms at the typical cherry blossom time
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March 23, 2018, cherry variety that blooms at the typical cherry blossom time
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March 23, 2018, cherry variety that blooms at the typical cherry blossom time
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March 23, 2018, cherry variety that blooms at the typical cherry blossom time
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Imperial Palace Moat – Kudanshita
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March 27, 2018, cherry variety that blooms at the typical cherry blossom time already in full bloom!
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March 27, 2018, cherry variety that blooms at the typical cherry blossom time already in full bloom!
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March 27, 2018, cherry variety that blooms at the typical cherry blossom time already in full bloom!
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March 27, 2018, cherry variety that blooms at the typical cherry blossom time already in full bloom!
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March 27, 2018, cherry variety that blooms at the typical cherry blossom time already in full bloom!
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March 27, 2018, cherry variety that blooms at the typical cherry blossom time already in full bloom!
For all the spots I haven’t checked yet – but are certain to also be in full bloom – head over to The Best Cherry Blossom Spots in Tokyo and you’ll find lots more pinkness! For maps to places that have the best ones for taking pictures, go here: Where to Take the Best Cherry Blossom Photos in Tokyo.
Here are my favorite places to see Cherry Blossoms Lit Up At Night and here are The Best Secret Cherry Blossom Spots in Tokyo.
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When not out ogling cherry blossoms, Jonelle Patrick writes novels set in Tokyo…
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A young woman dressed as a Gothic Lolita is found dead in a car with two strangers. But the more Yumi Hata learns about her friend’s death, the more she’s convinced it was murder…read more
March 18, 2018
Jobs I Do Not Want To Have When I Grow Up
His jacket reads “Minato Tobacco Rules”
Walking back from the Nezu Museum this week, I was crossing the street behind this official government worker. Yes, his job is to walk around my neighborhood in a flourescent yellow windbreaker, picking up soggy cigarette butts with industrial-sized tongs.
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Let’s just zoom in on that satisfying day’s work, shall we?
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Jonelle Patrick tries to avoid all gainful employment by writing novels set in Tokyo
When Detective Kenji Nakamura’s phone rings with the news that his mother’s death wasn’t an accident, his life begins to unravel…read more
February 25, 2018
Things I Never Envisioned Myself Owning
#japangoals #shutup
Yes, it’s exactly what it looks like. A fuzzy green polka-dot toilet seat cover.
Because Japan delivers a whole new level of hurt to the concept of freezing your butt off: the fact that I actually went out and bought this is a testament to the truth that no toilet seat is as cold as a toilet seat that must be faced at midnight in February, in a land where even a goodly number of godforsaken public toilets have cozy heated seats, and everyone living nearby (EVERYONE I TELL YOU EVERYONE BUT MEEEE) has one too.
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When not freezing her patootie off in her own powder room, Jonelle Patrick writes novels set in Tokyo
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When Detective Kenji Nakamura’s phone rings with the news that his mother’s death wasn’t an accident, his life begins to unravel…read more
January 6, 2018
More Hilarious Haiku About The Small Mysteries Of Modern Life
I know you’ve just been WAITING for more amusing observations and subtly ironic drawings about modern life from Yamada Zenjido (the artist who goes by y_haiku), so for those of you who (like me) are not exactly goddess-like at reading handwritten Japanese, here are a few choice ones in translation!
May it perk up your spirits in these trying times to know that all over the world, some things always make people stop and think WTF WHY?
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Two years later,
Why did someone push
The like button?
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Driving down the road,
Passing your car’s twin
Is a strange feeling.
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How could someone think
Those stars
Look like a goat?
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I don’t want that bonus prize
But somehow
I can’t refuse to take it.
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Filling up the coffeemaker
Next to a toilet
Just feels wrong.
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Someone knocks a rice ball onto the floor
Then puts it back on the shelf.
Should I say something?
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I don’t want to be
The first one
To put up my umbrella.
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Miso soup
Drunk from a glass
Doesn’t taste right.
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Missed subway stop
I get off at the next one
Pretending it’s mine.
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Still annoyed
When the pirated wifi
Cuts out.
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The train is empty
Why does he have to choose a seat
So close to me?
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If you’re a kanji god, you can be amused early and often by these gems if you follow the artist on Twitter (@y_haiku) and/or Instagram (instagram.com/y_haiku/).
As a lesser being, my thanks go to Hiroyuki Otomo, who helped me translate the peskier characters.
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It’s the time of year when Jonelle Patrick likes to curl up with a nice novel set in Tokyo
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When Detective Kenji Nakamura’s phone rings with the news that his mother’s death wasn’t an accident, his life begins to unravel…read more
December 27, 2017
Are Ya Feelin’ Lucky?
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Ah, New Year’s, when everyone in Japan visits their local kami-sama for the first time and gets a glimpse of their fortune for the coming year! But if you’re geographically challenged, and visiting your closest shrine would involve a butt-numbing plane flight, here are some dai-kichi (best luck ever) fortunes you can toss into a hat and allow my clairvoyant gachagacha cats to remotely pick one for you.
(Cue woo-woo music)
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☆ 〜 Happy New Year, friends of mine 〜☆
May your next 365 days be filled with all these good things & more!
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When not predicting the future, Jonelle Patrick writes novels set in Tokyo…
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When Detective Kenji Nakamura’s phone rings with the news that his mother’s death wasn’t an accident, his life begins to unravel…read more
December 13, 2017
Top Ten Crazy Holiday Gifts from Japan 2017!
It’s that time of year, when everyone who’s easy to buy presents for already has a big satisfying check mark next to their name, but the ones who don’t are driving me crazy, because I just can’t think of anything that will surprise and/or delight them. Or at least make them scream when they open it.
But suffer no more! Here are the ten silliest gifts I saw this year in Tokyo, for all your holiday amusement needs.
1
THE ANATOMICALLY CORRECT BALLOON DOG
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Who doesn’t need one of these? They’re by artist Jason Freeny, and I know you’ll curse me for telling you that there are also Gummy Bear and Rubber Duck versions. So hard to decide! (Available online from the Colossal Shop)
2
THE PLUSH LARVAL SLANKET, WITH QUICK-RELEASE ZIPPER
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Okay, I’ll admit, if I lived in a typical Japanese house that’s mysteriously colder inside than outside in the winter and really really REALLY didn’t want to give up my blanket when I left the couch to refill the popcorn bowl, this would be top of my list. (Tokyu Hands, Shinjuku)
3
ORIGAMI FOOD
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Bet your favorite Crafty Craftpern doesn’t have any origami paper that turns into sushi…
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…or these mindbending square fruit balloons! The fruits are from the Cibone shop in Ginza Six and I just discovered that you can get the sushi paper on Amazon here!
4
SHIBA DUSTMOP SLIPPERS
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Your favorite giftee will absolutely look forward to doing their floor-sweeping chores while basking in the cuteness of these shiba inu slippers (from the housewares store near Ebisu Station at 7-7-13 Ebisu). Also in classic shiba tan!
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TOASTING WITH TROUT
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Nothing goes together better than drinking and fishing, and this sake flask will ensure that every whopper that got away gets bigger with the telling. (From the big open-fronted pottery store across Kappabashi Street from the chef’s head, in the middle of the first block.)
6
PLANKTON SOCKS
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I can pretty much guarantee that the troublesome person on your list who has everything does NOT have a pair of socks featuring microscopic organisms of the sea (From the gift shop at the National Museum of Science and Nature in Ueno Park)
7
ROSE WHIP FACE WASH
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It’s fragrant and foamy, but it’s how this Beauty Whip face wash comes out of the can that makes it so want-worthy! (You can buy it at any ordinary Japanese drugstore where they sell Kanebo products)
8
MEAT WASHCLOTH
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What better way to scrub your rose foam beauty whipped face, than with a slice of beef? (Sold at the ever-entertaining DonKi in Shibuya)
9
TANUKI TEACUP
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Because if you have to get up on Monday mornings, at least you can get your caffeine shot from an adorable prankster (Seen at the ceramics store that’s across from the Chef’s head on Kappabashi Street – not the one on the corner, the next one.)
10
CAT HATS
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If that special feline on your list happens to be an aspiring #catsofinstagram, you can’t go wrong with these fame-attracting cat hats (Saw this gachapon machine at Yamashiro-ya toy store, in Ueno)
10.5
NOVELS SET IN JAPAN
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Or, if you’ve got someone on your list who loves books, you could always give them the gift of accompanying Detective Kenji Nakamura into the seedy underworld of Tokyo… (They’re on Amazon, in both paperback and ebook)
Here’s a little taste of the latest one…
December 1, 2017
Sweet Selfies On A Stick
This is the owner!
There’s a little shop near Sendagi Station called Amezaiku-ya where you can order the ultimate sweet selfie! Most often commissioned for wedding cake toppers, all the resident artists need is a photo and a little time to craft a mini-you out of sugar.
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The portraits are too complicated to make while you wait, but if you’d like to watch how it’s done (and take pictures)…
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… just choose a design off this handy menu, and the artist will make it for you right in front of your eyes!
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If you’re in a hurry, of course, you can stock up on adorable candies that looks just like your doge, mythical phoenixes and nine-tailed foxes, cute bunny characters…
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…or the ultimate edible disguise.
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They’ve also got a full line of zodiac animals and cute pets, a New Year’s gift that won’t break the bank and never fails to delight
This kind of candy sculpting is a very old Japanese art, and even though they make it look way easy, it takes about two years for apprentices to learn how to do it. If you’d like to try it yourself, there’s a workshop where you can attempt to make them, over in Asakusa.
If you’d like to visit Amezaiku-ya the next time you’re in Tokyo, there’s a map on my website, The Tokyo Guide I Wish I’d Had.
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When not failing at making lollipops, Jonelle Patrick writes novels set in Tokyo
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When Detective Kenji Nakamura’s phone rings with the news that his mother’s death wasn’t an accident, his life begins to unravel…read more
Or, the one-minute video for your viewing pleasure…
November 20, 2017
The Best Tokyo Illuminations 2017
It’s time again for the best free holiday light show ever! Here are this year’s Tokyo Illuminations offerings, some of them even better than before:
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TOKYO MIDTOWN
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This one is from the “Venus” themed show, which is the Friday offering
This year’s “Starlight Garden” extravaganza is super lavish, with different shows for each night of the week. There’s a four-minute blue and white spin around the galaxy, then each day of the week features a visit to a different planet in our solar system (except Uranus and Neptune, which are skipped in favor of our nearer and more instabae neighbors, the sun and the moon.) Note: this day of the week thing sort of confuses me, because that’s what they say on their website, but I went to see it on the first Wednesday, and it seems like they cycled through all of the planets, so go figure. Anyway, here’s the line-up:
Monday: The Moon • Tuesday: Mars • Wednesday: Mercury • Thursday: Jupiter • Friday: Venus • Saturday: Saturn • Sunday: The Sun
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For Mondays, the LED animation of the moon depicts the moment it covers the sun during a solar eclipse
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On Tuesdays, lots of red zinging things and ‘candles’ equal Red Planet Mars
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Wednesdays bring a feeling of ice (the planet Mercury) being quite close to fire (the sun)
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Jupiter is the planet of Thursday, with a “typhoons & aurora” gas planet-ish theme
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I don’t seem to have any photos of the Saturn piece (dang!) but the Sunday one was pretty great, with a bunch of rays flashing out from a burning red Sun
Once again, this mesmerizing field of lights is set to a spacey soundtrack and features fog as well as super-choreographed animation
Until December 25
17:00 – 23:00
Admission: Free
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ROPPONGI HILLS
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Here’s what it looks like most of the time, a mix of “Snow & Blue”
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But for ten minutes of each half hour, it switches to “Candle & Amber”
Over at Roppongi Hills, the display of lights on Keyakizaka-dori is always festive (and definitely instabae). The best place to see the promenade (and get a view of Tokyo Tower) is from the bridge over the street by the Louis Vuitton store.
Here’s the schedule for when it changes colors:
00:00 – 00:10 “Candle & Amber”
00:10 – 00:30 “Snow & Blue”
00:30 – 00:40″Candle & Amber”
00:40 – 01:00 “Snow & Blue”
Here’s a little video of it (although the actual transition from blue to amber is much more abrupt)
Until December 25
17:00 – 23:00
Admission: Free
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YOMIURILAND
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Colored lights and lots of ’em make it worth the admission price to the old Yomiuriland theme park, even if you never go on a single ride.
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The ginormous reflecting pool stage offered three different shows (rotating every fifteen minutes at :00, :15, :30 & :45) and the one I saw not only had colored dancing fountains (I’m a sucker for dancing fountains) but also dancers performing in silhouette (ditto for suckerhood).
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Tunnels like this pulse with an every-changing light show
Getting to Yomiuriland is always a bit of an undertaking, but trust me, the illuminations are worth it! It takes hours to walk around and inside them all, and the quality does not disappoint. They definitely did not stint on the electrical outlay, and it’s seldom crowded. Even if you don’t go on any of the rides, it’s worth it.
Until February 18
16:00 – 22:00*
Open every day except for these holidays: Jan 1, Jan 16-18, Jan 22-25
*Admission: Check their English web page here for prices and hours, because sometimes they’re open later
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TOKYO DOME CITY
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This dome puts on an everchanging light show
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You can see it from up above…
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…or sit beneath it for the full psychedelic effect
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These color-changing light spheres are bobbing around in all the fountains this year
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And DUH it’s an amusement park, so if you dare to risk freezing your patootie off, you can ride the splashy one through the illuminations at night
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And don’t forget to walk through the Wonka-esque rainbow tunnel of luv
The Tokyo Dome City amusement park puts on a lights and fountains extravaganza every year, and you don’t even have to pay for any rides to enjoy it!
Until February 18
17:00 – 25:00
Admission: Free
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SHIODOME
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Every year, the Shiodome courtyard is transformed into a fantasy landscape of starry blue lights that periodically burst into dancing colored lights synced to music
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This color-changing tree always makes an appearance
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This is the artists’ rendition of what this year’s theme will look like (although from experience, I expect the candelabra elements to be less, er, prominent)
This year’s illumination at Shiodome Caretta has a “Beauty and the Beast” theme, and if you can get past the blatant Disneyfication, the candelabra/banquet hall motif will be projected around the usual entertaining landscape of animated LEDs and music. In between shows, you can line up to get your picture taken in front of that central tree.
Until February 14 (closed 1/1-1/2)
17:00 – 23:00
Admission: Free
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SHINJUKU SOUTHERN TERRACE
The trees lining the promenade between Shinjuku South-East Exit and Times Square are strung with lights, and Mosaic Street (the walk that goes through MyLord) is decked out in pink “sakura” lights this year.
Until February 22
17:00 – 24:00
Admission: Free
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VENUSFORT
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Photo thanks to SagasWhatTokyo
While you’re out ogling the new Gundam robot in Odaiba, stop by the VenusFort mall (that eerie Caesar’s Palace lookalike!) to see the holiday snow crystals and stained glass-themed projection mapping show.
Until March 11
Noon – Close (projection mapping shows start every half hour at :00 and :30)
Admission: Free
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EBISU GARDEN PLACE
This display doesn’t change from year to year, but if you haven’t been there, the view from the red carpet that leads from the Christmas tree to the gigantic Baccarat chandelier is worth seeing once.
Until January 8
17:00 – 24:00
Admission: Free
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ILLUMILLIONS THEME PARK
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Hillsides covered with lights, as far as the eye can see
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Giant illuminated flower gardens and a billowing undersea landscape are only a few of the walk-through attracations
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They got tunnels too. Ever-changing light-up tunnels
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And shows, with lights & music & dancing fountains
This place is a bit of a trek from Tokyo (it takes about an hour by train from Shinjuku Station, then a short bus ride), but if you love whole hillsides carpeted with lights, Sagamiko Illumillions is hard to beat. It’s pretty reasonable, too. Tips & tricks for getting there are here.
Until April 8
16:00 – 21:30
Admission: Adults ¥800, Children ¥500, Dogs ¥500
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Between oohing and aahing over holiday lights, Jonelle Patrick occasionally has time to write novels set in Tokyo
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When Detective Kenji Nakamura’s phone rings with the news that his mother’s death wasn’t an accident, his life begins to unravel…read more
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