Jonelle Patrick's Blog, page 29

Let’s Go To The Crowdfunded Bookstore-Themed Host Club!

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Okay, is this a book lover’s ultimate fantasy, or what? A romantic read, dished up by a handsome young man with a talent for whispering sweet nothings in your ear while plying you with champagne?

The “Kabukicho Book Center” – a brand new crowdfunding idea by the venerable Smappa! host club group – promises to deliver all the host club goodies with the romantic page-turner of your choice! This love-themed “bookstore” offers no fewer than fifteen doki-doki funding tiers (from about $30 to $8,000!), with progressively more heart-pounding rewards – from a single romance novel lovingly signed by one of the host “clerks” (which also gets you past the doorman and entitles you to unlimited host ogling and fantasizing), all the way up to a host-led tour of Tokyo or the party of your dreams, complete with champagne tower and hostly attention galore.

But here’s the big draw for us non-Japanese types: if you’ve always wanted to quaff a glass of bubbly with flirty, bad-boy-rock-star look-alikes, but have been stymied in your attempts to get yourself in the door of a regular host club, this could be your big chance! Make a pledge through this crowdfunding site and you’re IN.*

The site is only in Japanese, but here’s all the info!

For ￥3,000 you get…

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• Entry to the club (along with a little hostly attention from the “clerks”) plus a romantic paperback, with a card lovingly signed by one of the host club “clerks”

For￥5,000 you get…

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• Club entry and a keepsake card penned with a romantic message from one of the distinctly hotter-than-usual “clerks” and 11 tickets that can be exchanged for bookstore entry and coffee (hot or iced) at the store.

For￥10,000 you get…

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• An hour with one of the hosts, a soft drink and a glass of wine (unless you’re a minor, then sorry, no wine for you! Gotta settle for two soft drinks).

OR

• Hostly book delivery service – you pick up your six tickets at the store, and a host will accompany you back to Shinjuku (or Shinjuku-Sanchome) Station, carrying your books respectfully with both hands.

For￥20,000 you get…

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• A ticket to the opening reception on Friday, October 6, 2017, from 7:00 – 20:00. You can bring one guest, and it includes party drinks and snacks.

For￥30,000 you get…

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• An exclusive host bookstore clerk apron like the ones worn by staff members, which entitles you to become an insider and come once a month to the club with a guest.

For￥50,000 you get…

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• An assortment of books on love, personally selected and inscribed by host bookstore partner and hipster coffeespot entrepreneur Kusanagi Yohei

OR

• A bottle of wine and a romantic paperback, selected and inscribed by Smappa! Group manager Masaki Tezuka

OR

• A romantic library of books crafted just for you by host bookstore manager Yasuhira Yanagishi, who will choose them after consulting with you about your deepest desires.

For￥80,000 you get…

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• A four-hour visit to one of the regular Smappa! host clubs, where you’ll be entertained by a host (including karaoke, if that’s your thing) and you’re allowed to take as many pictures as you like. (Weirdly, food and drink is not included, but you can BYO if you arrange it with them in advance WAT)

For￥100,000 you get…

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• The Business Trip Champagne Call – you and four friends can enjoy two hours at one of the Tokyo Smappa! clubs, being entertained by the hosts (although on top of the thousand bucks, you have to pay for alcohol/champagne tower set-up/anything the hosts eat while entertaining you – I suspect that the add-on costs for this one could really deliver that authentic host club experience by adding up fast!)

For￥300,000 you get…

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• The Champagne Tower of Luv! Host a party for up to 30 people for one hour at one of the Smappa! Group clubs, complete with champagne tower. In a rare parting of the curtain, men are allowed to attend this event as your guests.

For￥500,000 you get…

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• The Tokyo Love Tour. (I’m sorry, can I just say that again? TOKYO LOVE TOUR) Recommended for groups of women coming to Tokyo for the very first time, ten hosts will show you and nine lady friends around town (itinerary to be worked out with the club secretary in advance). It looks like you have to pay for transportation, food, and drinks on top of the price, however. OUCH.

OR

• You and up to 29 guests can take over one of the Tokyo Smappa! clubs for up to three hours for an all-you-can drink partytime. Twenty hosts will be on hand to entertain you, with unlimited beer and shōchū. (Men are allowed as guests, and any drink orders beyond the included beer and shōchū are added on top.)

For￥800,000 you get…

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• You and up to 29 guests take over a Smappa! club for three hours, complete with champagne tower, champagne call, unlimited beer, shōchū and wine (and, of course, hosts!) Men are allowed as guests.

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This venture is a collaboration between Tezuka Maki (who heads up the very successful Smappa! host club group), Kusanagi Yohei (president of Tokyo Pistol Co., Ltd., which is a conglomerate of businesses that include cafes and event spaces), and Yagishita Kyōhei (who opened a bookstore in fashionable Kagurazaka after a career in the publishing industry). According to their statements on the crowdfunding site, they want to introduce both host clubs and bookstores to people who don’t usually visit them.

Sounds like an excellent investment to me!

If you’d like to try it and you’re going to be in Tokyo between now and March 2018, scroll down for a step-by-step guide to navigating the Japanese-only crowdfunding website.

* You’ll need to be able to speak Japanese (or the hosts won’t be able to entertain you), and read it well enough to navigate the crowdfunding site. They also reserve the right to refuse your money, which (if you have a foreign name) seems a distinct possibility with the more expensive reward levels. Those involve serious back and forth (in Japanese) with management to set up parties/tours, and the Smappa! management might not want to risk allowing a club to be be taken over by thirty guests who may not understand the rules and/or speak Japanese.

General disclaimers from the site: All of the rewards have to be used before March 31, 2018. You aren’t allowed to choose which host entertains you or which books you get, scheduling your event/visit has to be worked out with the club management in advance (and there are definitely blackout & vacation dates you’ve got to work around), anything outside the alcohol brands and snacks included in each particular package is charged on top of what you already paid, and except for the party packages, it’s ladies only. Also, the Smappa! Group has clubs all over Japan, but this thing is only in Tokyo.

So what do you think? Ready to try it? Here’s how:

• Nip over to the Kabukicho Book Center crowdfunding site

• Scroll down the right hand sidebar of funding options and click on the one you want. This piece of information under the title that looks like this: 残り48個 tells you how many units of that particular option are still available. (In the case of the ones that allow you to bring guests, each unit is for the buyer plus their guests. For example, if the option for a champagne tower party with 30 guests reads “残り10個,” that means ten people can pay that funding level amount and each of those can have a party with 30 guests. Like that.)

• At the bottom, choose from the payment options:

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From left to right, the buttons read: Credit card, convenience store pick-up, bank transfer, online bank transfer. Unless you live in Tokyo and want to transfer money to them from your Japanese bank account (foreign bank accounts can’t be used), choose credit card or convenience store. If you choose the “convenience store” option, you’ll be given a reservation number and you take that to your nearest conbini, give the cashier the number and pay, and they’ll print out your ticket.

Here are the screens you’ll see as you work your way through the credit card option:

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The easiest way to get past this screen is to sign in via the social media apps on the left (just click). If you don’t want to do that, you’ll have to enter an email address (then type it again in the next box), a user name (Western alphabet OK) and a password (then type the password again).

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If you sign in via an app, you’ have to click the blue button to get past this screen

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The only tricky part of this is that you’ll have to enter your name in katakana, so be sure your computer is set up with a Japanese language option.

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This just confirms the funding level and reward description you picked. There’s a potential glitch here (one that I’ve encountered as a foreigner on other Japanese ticket websites) – see that little blue box near the bottom on the left, before the credit cards? Next to it is your name, written in katakana. Sometimes when you push the final button after entering your credit card number, it’s rejected because the name on your actual credit card account (written in the Western alphabet) doesn’t match the one you just entered in katakana. I quit before actually pushing the button to pay money, so I don’t know if that’s the case on this site or not. If you DO get rejected, go back and try the convenience store option, then pick up your tickets when you get to Tokyo.

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I didn’t actually go beyond this screen, so I’m not sure exactly what kind of confirmation you get, but if it’s like other Japanese online ticket sites I’ve used, I suspect you get either a reservation number that you give at the door, or a printable ticket.

Good luck, and have a blast!

All photos from the Makuake crowdfunding site.

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Jonelle Patrick writes  novels set in Tokyo.

If you can’t make it to Tokyo right away, you can always meet the hosts whose lives unfold behind the closed doors of Club Nova in Fallen Angel…

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The #1 hostboy at Club Nova makes a handsome living, whispering sweet nothings in the ears of women who pay him a fortune for the privilege. But the party’s over when…read more

Watch the Fallen Angel book trailer (1:08)

 

 

Flower Dream 2017

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At Flower Dream Expo, floral artists duke it out to the death, vying to see who can go furthest beyond your basic dozen roses

Just when you need a little something to lift your wilted spirits, the dog days of summer fail to dish up a single Japanese flower extravaganza. Which is why I’ve been saving these snippets of last spring’s Flower Dream Expo for your reviving pleasure!

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Like this gravity-defying piece, the flower art at this expo always tends toward unexpected combos of petals and prickles…

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…although this year’s offerings seemed especially briar-patchy.

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From this attractive but slightly menacing use of leaves…

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…to this twiggy caterpillar of an arrangement…

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…the designers definitely didn’t shy away from throwing together beauty and the beast.

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Of course, there were a few beautiful 3-D takes on Japanese sumi-e art, like this painterly branch that starts behind the translucent screens, but breaks through to offer a lovely bouquet

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And this variation on an exuberantly blooming meadow, that floats like a fairy castle in the air

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Roots are a popular theme…

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…as are wreaths. I especially liked this one that was a sort of deconstructed version, with the interwoven elements floating in a minimalist box

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I love how the leaves are the star of this show in this one

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This one just totally charmed me, although I’m not sure how one might actually use it. It feels like it might be a bit too interested in my dessert if it were in the middle of my dinner table, and unless I decided to suddenly start sporting a rockabilly pompadour, I’m not sure I could really wear it as a flower crown…

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And in case you’re disappointed that there wasn’t something more outlandish, THIS (Yes, I did ask, but nobody could explain. The what, the why & the WTF remain a mystery to this day.)

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Read a novel set in Tokyo

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In the wake of a deadly earthquake, fans erupt in a frenzy of mourning when it’s discovered that their favorite pop star is among the dead. But when Detective Kenji Nakamura is sent to investigate a death at a local shrine, he finds evidence that suggests the impossible: How could the head priest have been murdered by…read more

The Lost Cat Shrine

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Don’t you just hate it when your kittehs get a touch of the walkabout? Well now you can do something about it. A quick prayer at the Tachikawa Suitengu Shrine will have them back on your doorstep quicker than a twist of the can opener!

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Judging by the number of prayer plaques hung on the rack at this quiet shrine in Tachikawa, the local kami-sama are A+ at delivering lost felines back home, safe and sound.

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Offer your respects at this cheery-looking neko-guarded stone basin for starters…

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…then buy an ema at the shrine shop and step over to this stone pussycat…

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…and pen your wish for Growler’s safe return.

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After you’ve added it to the rack…

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…thank the kami-sama by giving the stone kitteh a little scritch behind the ears.

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As an added bonus, if you happen to have a baby at home that’s less than a hundred days old, their future teeth are in luck. Pick a stone from this sacred pile (they’re called “hakatame no ishi“) and take it home. Touch the stone with a pair of chopsticks, then touch the baby’s gums and say a prayer for good strong teeth. If you bring the rock back to the shrine, your young ‘un is guaranteed to have a long life and choppers of kryptonite.

If you’d like to visit the Lost Cat Shrine the next time you’re in Tokyo, a map is on my website, The Tokyo Guide I Wish I’d Had .

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Read a novel set in Tokyo

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The #1 hostboy at Club Nova makes a handsome living, whispering sweet nothings in the ears of women who pay him a fortune for the privilege. But the party’s over when Tokyo Detective Kenji Nakamura is assigned to investigate the death of…read more

The Meat Washcloth

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Still looking for that perfect souvenir to surprise your friends back home? Well, they certainly won’t be expecting this.

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Read a novel set in Tokyo…

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A young woman dressed as a Gothic Lolita is found dead in a car with a pair of strangers. But the more Yumi Hata learns about her best friend’s death, the more she’s convinced it was murder…read more

Hilarious Haiku About The Small Embarrassments Of Modern Life

So, last week I discovered Yamada Zendo, an artist who pens haiku-like truisms paired with pitch-perfect drawings, and they are SO FUNNY…if you can read handwritten Japanese, that is.

Fortunately, I have a friend who helped me with the more opaque characters (and because no good deed goes unpunished, will be pestered to do so maybe FOREVER), so I  can pass a few of these on to you now and bring a little happy embarrassment to your day…

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I stop to fix my hair in a window reflection

Then I realize

Someone is watching from the other side.

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In the electronics store

I barely touched it, and it died

So I quickly walked on.

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The automatic door sensor

Doesn’t seem to be working, even though I tried everything

Oh, you have to push the button.

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Those samples look really delicious

I badly want to try one, but that would be uncool

So I pretend I’m not interested.

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On a ground floor balcony where everyone can see him

Shouldn’t that old guy be a little

Less relaxed?

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At the designer clothing shop

I’m shocked by the prices

But I put on an “oh, this is usual” face, then quickly leave.

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Driving by myself

Singing along to my favorite song,

I realize later that the window was open.

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Whenever I wash something

Suddenly

I have to pee.

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For the first time

I hear how my voice sounds to other people

And it’s depressing.

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If you’re a better kanji reader than I am (and that includes just about everybody and their grandmother) I DEEPLY ENVY YOU because you can see a lot more of these gems if you follow the artist on Twitter (@y_haiku) and/or Instagram (instagram.com/y_haiku/).

Eternal thanks to Hiroyuki Otomo, who helped me understand the peskier characters.

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Jonelle Patrick writes mysteries set in Tokyo

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When Tokyo Detective Kenji Nakamura’s phone rings with the news that his mother’s death ten years ago wasn’t an accident, his world begins to unravel. New evidence links her to…read more

 

Why Are Tattoos Still Taboo In Japan? (Spoiler: It’s not because they think you’re a gangster)

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Taiwanese artist Horian working on a full-body piece at the (now sadly defunct) King of Tattoo event in Tokyo. The guy in the chair is getting his final sleeve done, in a style which resembles traditional yakuza ink.

So, everyone knows you can get kicked out of hot springs, public swimming pools, and water parks in Japan if you’ve got visible ink, even if it’s a teeny, tiny, adorable Hello Kitty. But why?

The usual excuse is that nobody wants their nice business infested with yakuza gangsters, which is the only Japanese group known for their body art. But ***DUH*** gangster tattoos are as easy to pick out as a Goth at Disneyland. Gangster body art is intricate, extremely traditional (one might even say ultra-conservative, like their politics) and as much of a full-body commitment as they can afford. It’s about as different from Western-style tattoos as you can get, and any idiot can tell the difference.

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Obviously not a soldier for the Mob

Plus, it doesn’t explain why businesses ban foreigners with tattoos. The yakuza don’t exactly invite non-Japanese to join their not-so-secret society – they dislike gaijin more than anyone in Japan (as you can’t help but notice if you’ve ever been deafened by their loudspeaker vans cruising the streets of Tokyo, spewing various flavors of foreigners-go-home at about 6,000 decibels).

So what’s the real reason so many Japanese businesses still ban customers with tattoos?

One of my Japanese school teachers finally explained it to me: getting tattooed is an insult to your parents and your ancestors.

There’s a deeply-held cultural belief that your parents (or, if you prefer, the Shinto gods) gave you your body when you were born, and if you modify it by getting tattoos (or, to a lesser degree, piercings*) you are rejecting and criticizing their gift by permanently altering it. People who show that level of disrespect for their family are suspected of also disrespecting the hierarchical, Confucian structure of Japanese society. Businesses fear that people with tattoos are more likely to flout the rules – making the experience of being at a hot spring or playing at a water park unpleasant for other customers – and the Japanese way to deal with it is to ban potential troublemakers rather than take the chance.

I know, this sounds pretty whack to Western ears, right? But if you’ve spent any amount of time in Japan, you’ll recognize the way of thinking that makes it super hard for outsiders to do anything from getting into a host club to renting an apartment where they might fail at The Japanese Way Of Garbage. If you look like you might not follow (or don’t innately understand) the rules, you’re banned.

Of course, things are changing. A little. This Gaijinpot piece dishes out some interesting history and links to businesses that are trying not to lose the tourist gelt of inked customers – everything from offering giant bandaids for plastering over the offending skin to risking losing conservative Japanese customers by courting tattooed ones. The good news is that the spotlight on this issue is unlikely to go away until after the 2020 Olympics, when businesses will have to decide one way or the other whether to reap the benefits of welcoming tourists with tattoos or not.

* When I went to get a modest cartilage piercing in my ear, the body-mod studio asked me to sign a form that said I’d checked with my parents and my employer to make sure it was okay before they’d poke me. True story.

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Jonelle Patrick writes mysteries set in Tokyo

The Bowling Salon

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I have to admit I was just the teensiest bit disappointed that the bowling salon actually only offers, well, bowling. I was all ready to sign up for “Mani-Pedi & Bowl” or even “Cut, Color & Bowl”…

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Jonelle Patrick writes mysteries set in Tokyo. Her  fourth book –  Painted Doll  – is just out in paperback 

When You REALLY Hate Your Neighbors

Making my way back to Kamakura Station after tossing a  few plates at the Dish-Breaking Shrine, I was walking through a totally normal-looking neighborhood when I chanced upon this.

A hedge. But not just any old hedge – isn’t this the freakin’ unfriendliest alt picket fence you’ve ever seen? I mean, it’s all thorns, all the time. No leaves. No flowers. Just thorns. And wicked sharp too!

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From a distance, it didn’t look that scary…

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…although if you came upon it from the creepily overgrown garage door side, the sheer size of the thing might make you think twice about popping over to borrow a cup of soy sauce

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And up close? Yikes! And this sucker isn’t just long – it’s at least twelve feet high and four feet thick. It’s no joke!

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Kinda makes you wonder what sort of evil overlord lives here, doesn’t it?

I admit, I had to kind of admire the cussedness of whoever owns the house. If nothing else, growing this thing took huge dedication, and a near-legendary level of anti-neighborliness. We’re talking years of nurturing and pruning. Which kind of suggests it’s not just a case of the casual paranoia that might inspire a homeowner to zip over to Prison Surplus Razor Wire Inc. for a little fence topper.

Kind of perversely made me want to loiter around and see who lives here. Or better yet, who lives next door?

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Jonelle Patrick writes mysteries set in Tokyo

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When Tokyo Detective Kenji Nakamura’s phone rings with the news that his mother’s death ten years ago wasn’t an accident, his world begins to unravel. New evidence links her to…read more

The Host Club Vending Machine

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When I first saw this gachapon machine filled with little plastic champagne towers, I thought WAT? Who needs a set of miniature, light-up, host club furniture? I mean, even though it’s pretty happenin’ how they change color and all…

…I wasn’t instantly throwing all my money at the coin changer. Until…

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…it hit me that the Drunken Pets that helped me ring in the new year BADLY needed a partytown for the other eleven months

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And what could keep them more entertained than quaffing champagne with the hostpet of their dreams?

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But that’s not all – check out the action at Club Minifig

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Way more fun than the Temple of Airjitsu, where they’re constantly being ambushed by pesky Ninja Warriors

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Even The Statue of Too Much Liberty can let her hair down at the Gacha-gacha Club

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And need I even mention that everyone’s favorite radioactive lizard welcomes the opportunity to drink whatever he wants, whenever he wants?

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Jonelle Patrick writes mysteries set in Tokyo. And if you’d like to slip behind closed doors and get to know the number one host at Club Nova…

 

Cream Puffs You Can…Drink

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Hanging out waiting for a train this spring, my intrepid fellow adventurer and I spotted THIS in a vending machine! Of all the unlikely tastes to come in a can, this has got to be one of the WTFiest. I mean, do any of you actually find yourselves craving the innards of a cream puff without the guilty crunch of the pastry bits? This drink turned out to (surprise, surprise) basically be thin vanilla pudding (though it did taste exactly like the hella sweet stuff inside regular Beard Papa offerings, so if you’ve got a jones on for that and there’s no outlet nearby, it would do in a pinch).

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Jonelle Patrick writes mysteries set in Tokyo.

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When Tokyo Detective Kenji Nakamura’s phone rings with the news that his mother’s death ten years ago wasn’t an accident, his world begins to unravel. New evidence links her to…read more