Christopher Louis's Blog, page 7
January 24, 2016
batlabels:
BAT RESEARCH SHELF
Started following the Batlabels...
BAT RESEARCH SHELF
Started following the Batlabels blog. I’ve spent way to much time laughing at the absurdity of some of these signs. Another reason the old 60’s Batman series was so fun.
December 25, 2015
December 24, 2015
More pics from our trip to WDW.
More pics from our trip to WDW.
Happy Holidays!
The hubby and I spent last week celebrating in...
Happy Holidays!
The hubby and I spent last week celebrating in Walt Disney World. It was an amazing trip filled with lots of fun and holiday cheer. Looking forward to some quiet and relaxing days.
December 6, 2015
November 29, 2015
. . . 43
After my list of 42 facts about myself I posted last year, I’m trying to decide if I want to try something like that again this year. I could do something fairly obvious like favorite songs, movies, or books. On the other hand, maybe I could do something more unique like interesting photos or something totally off the cuff and just find 43 odds and ends that I find interesting.
Our cute pup, Murphy.
Our cute pup, Murphy.
November 23, 2015
Anger
During a recent therapist appointment I came to the realization that I have a lot of anger inside me in regards to my mom’s passing. I know that anger is part of the grieving process, however it would not have been one of the stages of grief that I would have thought I was struggling with. I first noticed it when I continued to write about the day my mom died. I was making really good progress until I started writing about the time immediately after she died. I started getting what I thought was anxious and could feel the tears welling. I tried to keep writing, but the sensation got to be too much for me and I stopped.
When I saw my therapist later that day, I was truly struggling to make sense of what I was feeling. He had me place both feet firmly on the floor, place my hand on my chest, close my eyes, and start to share my memories and he would prompt me for how I was feeling. Before I even knew what I was saying I said the words "I am mad" and “I am angry”, at first I tried to pull back from them. Something in me knew that they were true, and I repeated them again.
I was not angry at my mom. I was angry at the situation. How horrible it is to know that your mom’s dead body is sitting in the room next to us as we are around a table talking with a hospice nurse. It felt so undignified. It made me so mad.
It wasn’t just the situation though. I was angry at the doctors who put her through so much pain. I was angry at my dad for not doing more for her earlier in her fight. I was mad at my brother for not being there more. I was mad at myself for the same reason. I was mad at my aunts as they telephoned family and said that my mom had “gone home”. No! She didn’t go home. Her home was here with her family. I was mad at an imaginary god who made her suffer so much pain and anguish. During the funeral I was mad that people kept using heaven as an excuse and saying she was happy and at peace. No! If heaven truly exists, then yes I am sure she is happy to see her parents again, but isn’t she missing us as well?
Yesterday as I was putting up our Christmas decorations, there are several pieces that my mom made. I was mad that she wasn’t here with us. She doesn’t get to celebrate with us any more.
As I write this, I see that I typed “I was angry”. Yes, I was angry then - but I am still angry now. I’m angry and it hurts. I miss her terribly and wish she was here. I am angry that she can’t be here except in memories and photos.
