Beth Morey's Blog, page 27

In the Art Studio: The Insides of a Heart

heartsong {etsy}
Something strange has been happening at my art table lately.  Strange, but good.

It goes something like this:

I pine for my art-making, miss it deeply.  And then -- surprise!  My sweet son surprises me with the gift of a nap, and I run for the art table.

I sit.  I stand up, procrastinate, sit again.  I shuffle things about.

what is this place? {art journal page}
And then -- I begin.  I dip my brush into paint or water and begin.

It feels awkward. ...

Creating Mixed Media Backgrounds with Gel Prints (Video Tutorial)

This week I have a special art treat for you -- a video tutorial!  Yay!  I have been wanting to do a full-on tutorial for a while, and last week finally found some time to share how to make mixed media backgrounds for your art pieces using a gel printing plate.  The first video is the full tutorial, which is about fifteen minutes long, and the second is a quick bonus video without talking.  If you aren't quite sure what I'm talking about, you can learn more about what a ge...

When Boston Grieves and Texas Burns

photo by Dave Morris via Creative Commons
I woke this morning to a new story of horror and pain.  As I fed my son in our bed, I cried and cried out -- why?  How are we to live in a world where such things happen so often?

And of course there is no answer.

There is no answering for devastating explosions, accidental or cruelly planned.  For lives ended or irrevocably altered in the space of a single breath. 

But when I heard of the fertilizer plant explosion in western Texas,...

I Want You to Know

Someone asked me today,

What is it that keeps you up at night? What could you talk about every single day for the rest of your life? 

My first thought was -- myself.  

And the next thought -- I need to shut this narcissistic blog down, if that's what's at the heart of it all. Immediately.  No one needs to read my self-centered tripe.

But.

Then my brain wheels got to clicking and I realized that, while I do write largely about myself here, that's not what drives me.

Because if all I...

What I Mean When I Say, “My Daughter Was Stillborn”

I don’t think that most people understand me when I say that my daughter was stillborn.
That phrasing makes it sound passive, like it was something that just happened to me, externally.
 But that’s not what a stillbirth is, and I imagine that’s not what a miscarriage is either.
A stillbirth isn’t something that happened to me, or my daughter, or my family.
It’s something that happened inside me. That I was forced to participate in . . . .
Today I am writing over at Still Standing Magazine!  ...

In Which I Tremble and Tell the Truth

You know those times when everything is a battle that you've got no energy left to fight, and the little things are what threaten to push you over the edge?

That's where I'm living these days.

For the past two weeks, our sweet son has not slept more than a [small] handful of hours a night, with a few exceptions.  He is tired, and I am tired.

And then silly things happen, like this blog post disappearing after it was half written, and I just want to throw myself a nice little temper tantrum....

Risen

"Once more to new creation Awake,
and death gainsay,
For death is swallowed up of life,
And Christ is risen today!" ~ George Newell Lovejoy

"There is not room for Death,
Nor atom that his might could render void:
Thou - Thou art Being and Breath,
And what Thou art may never be destroyed." ~ Emily Bronte

"And he departed from our sight that we might return to our heart, and there find Him. For He departed, and behold, He is here." ~ St Augustine

"Early on Sunday morning, while it was still dark, Mary M...

God is God, Even When the Miracle Doesn't Come

photo by forest wander via creative commons
I heard the story of a miracle this week on the radio.

A man had called into the station, and shared about how his baby was born weeks and weeks premature.  How unlikely it was that she would survive.  How he and his wife and everyone they knew prayed and prayed -- and their daughter lived.  How good God is because he saved their baby.

I am so glad that these parents didn't have to learn what it feels like to have your baby die.  T...

{In the Art Studio} Courage, Gratitude, & Treasure Hunting

 
Well, it's been another not-so-creative week.  I try to remind myself that one day I will have far too much time to myself, that I will be missing these days when my son is tiny and all about the cuddling and the eating and the waking up at night.  And thanks to my daughter it's not too hard to remember to soak up every moment that I'm able, although sometimes I must admit that my selfishness creeps in too close and I get grumpy.  Especially if I'm low on sleep, like I ha...

Why Bullying About Grief's [Lack of] Timeline is Unhelpful

Today my daughter would have been one year and four months, if she'd lived.

The grief is starting to get uncomfortable now.

Well, not the grief, really.  People's reactions to the grief, to my feeling and expressing of it.  I'm feeling pressure to stop talking about it, about her.  To "get over it," to "move on."

They don't understand.  You don't just get over something like this.  Because no matter how much you express or repress your pain, it is always there.  It...