Barbara Bloom's Blog, page 7
January 24, 2013
Spinning Thoughts
Wrapping my brain with a tourniquet is insane but my thoughts continue to fly.
Like buzzing bees and the kids that continue to ask me why?
For a moment I can feel for the switch.
While driving my thoughts might put me in the ditch.
A rhyme
A riddle
A country song and hearing the fiddle.
Twisting my thoughts into a turn.
Spinning my thoughts into a 360 burn.
Out goes the fire as my fingers stop to type.
Bong goes the clock as I know it is time for goodnight!
By: Barbara Bloom
January 18, 2013
Grandparents Raising Grandchildren
Raising grandchildren is like going back in time to yesteryear and the big difference now is you have experience. You can even tell a child….You are going to F…A…L…L… and they end up falling and then you can act like it was just a moment of intuition but the reality is it comes from wisdom from raising children over a long period of time. I have stepped back in time and our children have birthday parties to go to on most weekends. Grasping the innocent moments like watching my five-year old Breanna make a phone call to a friend is fun while she isn’t sure what to say to her friend on the phone. I know it won’t be long and she will be an expert on the phone but I am enjoying the simple moments of watching her learn through exploration. As a grandparent it took me awhile to go back in time and learn how to prepare a daily menu for our family which consists of foods that children like. That should be such an easy task to do without any hassle but remember first you have to figure out what the child likes to eat. The hustle and bustle of getting children ready to catch the big yellow bus in the morning for school everyday keeps my life at a busy pace. Everyday we have a routine and a schedule but at the same point everyday is unpredictable.
The life that all grandparents experience while raising their grandchildren is adventurous and the instructions are not in a text-book. I couldn’t even imagine what my life would be like if I was waking up in a different pair of shoes. I am living today as if there was no tomorrow. Keeping my dreams alive is important to me while I am taking advantage of every moment in time as the clock ticks and another day passes. I love making memories that will last a lifetime in the children’s hearts and minds. Everyday I practice walking forward and staying positive, it is important to me. I would love to connect with other grandparents raising their grandchildren.
Spotlight Interview: Today
Spotlight. I would like to thank Spotlight for letting me have the opportunity to share my books via a live interview on facebook. I am looking forward to meeting at 10:00 a.m. central time this morning January 18, 2013.
Your Shoes My Shoes: We All Love Shoes! A fun shoe rhyme for everyone to enjoy. It is a honor passing out smiles across the miles for the love of children’s books.
Run Hide The Monster Is Outside: A Tale With A Twist
This is a rhyming book which teaches children that things are not always as they seem. An innocent reading moment and you will love this monster.
http://www.amazon.com/Run-Hide-Monster-Outside-ebook/dp/B0099G5S9Y/ref=pd_sim_kstore_4
Here Comes Pixie Pie
This rhyming book was written for all litte girls that love the color pink. It is a story about friendship as Pixie Pie gets dressed in her western wear to go to the rodeo fair for her birthday.
http://www.amazon.com/Here-Comes-Pixie-Pie-ebook/dp/B0099R1Z86/ref=pd_sim_kstore_1
Looking forward to connecting with you on facebook!
January 14, 2013
Sleep: Family Life
Sleep is a luxury. I have often wondered if it is my age that makes a good nights sleep so hard to achieve or if it is because I am raising two small children. I am sure it is a combination of both scenarios. While sleeping my eyes feel like they are swinging back and forth like wind shield wipers on high working to clear off a window in a wet tropical storm. Who needs sleep anyway right because we only live once.
I am thankful for a nice cup of hot coffee in the morning. The weekends come and go while another Monday has arrived again. Time passes by so quickly with the busy lives we lead. It is almost time to wake Breanna up for school. We are on a super streak of zero absences and/or tardiness this year, perfect attendance in Kindergarten. I know this is a blessing as we have worked together through the simple colds and healed minor bumps over the weekends. Perfect attendance is a huge achievement for any child. It is amazing the amount of stamina it takes from both the child and parent to achieve this task especially over half way through the school year.
In the beginning of the school year I had made a goal for our family to go on a cruise in 2013 but I knew that we would need to go during the school year due to the cost. If you take a family cruise for four during a school break the cost is almost double of what it is taking one during the school year. In my dreams if I can make this work for our family… I will follow through with the plan. It could be her reward for working so hard.
I have been working on a fun new book written in rhyme. It is for all of us that love trucks. My grandson/son Bradyn is a huge truck lover. We have a few trucks near our neighborhood area that we regularly pass by while driving around town. He always points the trucks out with super excitement. The new book I am working on is written in rhyme and it is about construction trucks. The trucks which are friends have a plan to dig a fishing hole. I am looking forward to sharing it with you within the next two weeks. I love to write children’s books while keeping both the parent and child in mind in turn creating memorable reading moments together.
January 11, 2013
Your Shoes My Shoes: We All Love Shoes! By: Barbara Bloom
Your Shoes My Shoes: We All Love Shoes!: Barbara Bloom: Amazon.com: Kindle Store.
Are you looking for a fun book for you and your child to read together?
Take a chance and open “Run Hide The Monster Is Outside.” This book was written for anyone that has a love for monster books!
Paperback and e-book available on amazon.com.
Live Learn Life Tough Love: One Mother To Another Blog Therapy
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Waking up taking a breath, it is Friday. The real me here I am openly offering insight to others as I write about what it is like living and dealing with my life and tough love. It can be personally gut wrenching speaking about one’s true thoughts and feelings. Often I tend to close the door inside myself and brush off reality because it isn’t the easiest thing to deal with nor to admit. I am sure this is normal but I know it is not healthy. It would be easier to smile and wave and pretend that everything is perfect! Then again let’s define the word perfect. I do not expect to live in a perfect world. Everyone has problems but it is discouraging knowing it is impossible to help others that do not take the initiative to help themselves.
How do I feel?
It is very hard on a mother and/or father when their biological, adopted and/or step children refuse to take steps forward to help themselves. The severe stomach pains, anxiety, headaches and ill feelings of depression can easily set in for the parent who is trying to help their own children. The emotional ups and downs can take a toll on the parent. I spend way too much time daily trying to sort the family problems instead of being able to live and enjoy my life. I live one side of my life trying to raise two healthy children ages three and five and the other side trying to protect the new grand baby while being disrespected by my biological daughter who calls me by my first name just because she wants too.
Looking at the bright side…
I am very thankful that my daughter had a healthy baby girl. I am also proud to say my twenty year old daughter is a loving mother who definitely loves her baby. Another piece of good news is that my daughter has tested negative for any drugs in her system.
Reality is….
She left the hospital with a CPS investigation due to her behavior at childbirth. She currently has a case with the department. It makes me feel better because at least someone else is keeping tracks on the baby. A little over a week ago I found something that looked like weed in one of my daughters bags when she came over to my house. I knew I wouldn’t be given an explanation so I told her boyfriend and he confronted her. She didn’t smoke it which is good but her explanation was that she took the opportunity to take it from her boyfriend’s girl friend while they were out smoking a cigarette. Then I ask myself why was her boyfriend hanging around a girl friend that would even have weed? The boyfriend’s explanation was, “It is only weed.” My daughter doesn’t need any weed nor any other substance in her system except the psychiatric meds that her psychiatrist prescribes, that is why!
A shady mess…..
The reality is my daughters maternity leave should be over as her baby is now six weeks old. The problem is the relationship the baby was conceived from is not beautiful nor healthy. My daughter is doing a wonderful job at loving her baby but the reality is Alexis needs more than love. She needs someone she can count on to provide her stability by working forward to provide stable housing and to provide for her needs such as formula and diapers. She needs a mother who works to put her on a schedule and to let her see daylight instead of sleeping all day and all night. She feeds her and puts her right back to sleep by laying down with her. Alexis deserves a mother that takes care of her own mental health by remembering to take her medicines and/or make doctor appointments. I remind my daughter over and over to make the appointments that are required but she continues to not take charge of her responsibilities to make the babies and/or her own appointments. I have told my daughter over and over that it will catch up to her very soon because she is getting behind. Then you will have to explain to others why you are not doing what you need to do. I consider this part of tough love letting the one you love take charge of their own life. I cannot make all her appointments. She will be twenty-one this year and now to top it off she is a mother. If it were me and I had a cps case you could bet on one thing. I would have my cookies lined up in a row. Now ask yourself, why would someone put off things that are so important?
How has my life changed since the new grandchild has been born?
I have taken care of the baby a lot since she has been born. I love loving her and taking care of her. I am the baby’s primary caregiver when the father goes to work because due to the cps order my daughter cannot be alone with her child. I will be the first person to admit that it is easier to take care of the baby without my daughter here. I felt bad for my daughter because I had her daughter more than the she did so I decided to start having my daughter come over with her baby so she could spend more time with her and bond. I have been watching my grandchild for four and five days straight since birth.
What I didn’t realize was the father was dropping the baby off with me and leaving my daughter home alone at their apartment while he was going off to spend time with another girlfriend. Then I found out he was even dropping the baby off with his relatives in between my care giving.
Stability? Stable housing…….
In the last two weeks my daughter has moved from her house to my house two times. The first time she ended up staying a couple of days. The second time, now she has been here over a week. I decided to call the boyfriend/father last night to find out the results of the cps drug test and he mentioned her moving back in with him in a few days. He has to work the weekend. I am guessing Monday she will be moving back to his house. I accepted her moving in this time again even though she had just moved back out last week. I thought this was going to be the last time because of how many belongings were dropped off at my home and we could work together as a family to combine our families. I am the only person that put the belongings away for the baby and tried to make a walk way through all the belongings on the floor. Now I need to go dig out and hunt for all the things that I stored in the attic for her return to their apartment. I think this time I am going to have to let them know that this was the last time our family will go through this. It is not healthy for the new baby nor for my current family that lives under our stable roof. It is never easy practicing tough love.
She needs to learn on her own whether she decides to do what she needs to or take the easy way out which can mean failure. We are still waiting on the fathers drug test to come back. If it is negative that is a good thing but if it is positive that only adds to the story for another day.
Did I mention that this father has had a DNA test for one of my other grandchildren from a different daughter two years ago? No he wasn’t the father after all. Did I mention that we haven’t seen the father for over a week since he dropped my daughter off? One more thing…..who do you think the father expects to buy everything the baby needs? I think he thinks diapers grow on trees. If it isn’t free it must grow on tree and or it should be given to me. On that thought I have a new idea!
Live, Learn, Life………from one mother to another. Enjoy your day!
December 18, 2012
Free: A present from me to you for the holidays. Dr. Seuss Style!
Run Hide The Monster Is Outside by Barbara Bloom
A free e-book today only December 18, 2012 just for you. A short story that will make you giggle and smile for a moment as you read this e-book written in rhyme with a Dr. Seuss style. The paperback version is available on amazon.com. I would love to hear from you and your opinions of this book. It would be extra special if you could leave a review on amazon after purchasing ”Run Hide The Monster Is Outside.” Enjoy 
Holiday Tricks: Simple Treasured Moments
Are we ready for Christmas? The traditional Christmas cards have been mailed. I purchased birth announcements for Alexis last week and combined them in the same envelope. On the outside of the envelope I wrote in pen, “Meet Alexis Our New Family Member.” Alexis went home last evening after spending four days with me. Today I need to kick the season in gear and whip up some sugar cookie dough for my children/grandchildren three and five to work on cut out cookies. I also need to clean my house!
After spending four days taking care of a newborn it is time to change my schedule and revert back to taking care of only Bre and Bradyn. As you can guess my sleep patterns have consisted of null to none after spending four days with the schedule of a baby 21 days old today. There is no time to be tired as the holidays are here!
I am having friends over on Christmas day because I love to share with others that do not have a place to go for the holiday. One of my sons and my youngest daughter twenty are supposed to come over also and spend part of Christmas with us. I am going to plan the dinner menu simple for that day so that I can enjoy the children playing with their new toys. I think far to often we complicate our own lives by not thinking simple. I am going to simply make a spiral ham and have Hawaiian rolls, swiss cheese with condiments available. I am even debating home-made baked beans and potato salad because I can have both of those dishes completed the day before. Sure I am veering away from the classic Christmas dinner but the holidays are meant to be spent together and I prefer not to be in the kitchen for hours.
We put Christmas lights on our home this year for the children. I had to keep reminding my husband that I would like to keep the lights simple while using the philosophy that less is more. I figured out an easy lighting display trick to put lights up for the holidays in your windows. The only two items that you need to create a beautiful window display is net lighting, small suction cups that have a hook and maybe an extension cord. Place three or four suction cups at the top of the window (depending on your window size) and hang the net lighting from the hooks while you are making sure the plug-in part is at the bottom. Just let the excess fold at the bottom of the window and enjoy your simple holiday light display. If your window is wide you can use two sheets of net lighting and connect them together at the top of the window. A power strip on the floor can be helpful for easily turning your lights off and on if you have a grouping of more than one window.
I haven’t made it to wrapping the children’s presents yet and of course that is on my list to do. I find it easier to wrap presents for other people first that way I get the ones that need to be mailed out the door to the post office. Breanna who is five years old enjoys wrapping and I have offered her the job of wrapping her teachers’ present, bus drivers gift and any other family members we have bought gifts for Christmas. I think it is a great way to teach children that the holidays are for giving not necessary for getting something. One trick I have found for making the not so perfect wrapped present look elegant is place the package in a pretty gift bag. I love seeing her write the name of each recipient on the gift tag. Often Breanna walks around our home and brings me something while asking if she can wrap the item to give to someone. She now likes to put bow’s on her packages.
Time to wake the children for school. Thank you for the early morning coffee chat and enjoy your day. Wishing you a terrific Tuesday!
December 17, 2012
Family Life: Real Talk About Mental Illness
I am going to touch (talk about) an issue that is close to my heart. It took me a few weeks to post a blog update due to the major events in my life that occurred in November. My life has moved forward now that both of my troubled young adult daughters have given birth to their children and each day of my life I am having to make hard choices. I have been the safety link for one grandchild which is from my youngest daughter twenty years old for the last three weeks since her baby was born.
It is easy to feel like I am split in half. I am a mother with feelings for my grandchild and my own daughter but I know my job is to protect my newborn granddaughter. I can emotionally support my daughter with her mental illness but I cannot make choices for her and at the same time I have to let go and accept while acknowledging there is not an overnight cure for her mental health issues. She is in charge of her own self and it is her responsibility to make the correct choices and positive changes.
I know I have to accept my daughters faults along the way and acknowledge this untouched path she is walking on will take time. I can continue to listen and teach her but most of the time she does not want to hear what I have to say. She is defiant and hateful. It is important not to lose the belief that things can change.
Mental illness lives inside my daughter but the good news is my daughter has now begun physcological treatment as she is forced to live with a safety order regarding her own baby’s protection. She has an order to take care of her mental health if she wants to continue raising her child. She still cannot be alone with her baby.
My daughter can be mean and hateful eighty-five percent of the time. She is seldom truly thankful for anything. She definitely has a split personality issue with her emotional mood disorders. Her diagnosis is psychosis. When she was a teen she was diagnosed with ODD. (Oppositional Defiance Disorder) She still carries those traits in her personality on a daily basis. She is very self-centered also.
Baby Alexis usually comes over to my home for a three to four-day over night stay one time a week. She is twenty-one days old tomorrow. When she comes over I make sure I give her my utmost attention and it is my job to nurse her back to health when she has any kind of medical problems and or neglect. The latest item I have dealt with was a terrible heat rash which was all over her face neck, front side and a small area on her back at seventeen days old.
It is my job to love, nourish and examine my own grandchild. She has thrush and I have been administering the medication since Friday. She received the prescription slip on Tuesday at her two-week check up. An example of parents not following through as they should with the child’s best interest in mind would be that they did not pick the medication up until Friday. I opened the new prescription, this is how I know.
My daughter takes care of the baby one way and I take care of her another way. The hard part is that I am having to step in so often to help the baby that there is a fine line where my daughters parenting skills are visible. There is no doubt that my daughter loves her child, it is the mental illness that takes away her patience and clear thought process.
Life is full of the unexpected and unknown. We all have the power to change. The key is to let go if you are set in your own ways. You can love with all your heart but you cannot love everyone exactly the same. That is the beauty of life, the ability to change and the ability to accept change.
This is not about who takes better care of Alexis. This is only about protecting an innocent child as she lives with a mother who has ignored her own mental health problems before her child was born. I have always been a person that believes that anyone can change their behavior patterns. It simply comes down to a choice for treatment. No one can force anyone to seek mental health treatment. It has to be a choice an individual makes and they have to follow through because the illness never goes away but it can be managed.
December 1, 2012
Complex: Family Dynamics Tough Love
I wish our minds would turn off like a light switch at night-time when we are exhausted and ready to go to sleep. Instead feelings of painful power surges live in my eyes from blinking as I live with restless nights of minimum sleep while constantly tossing and turning as thoughts roll through my head. Exhaustion has set in to my mind while day time naps provide the only relief.
A mother’s heart is broken. The repairs are too extensive to mend even though she has let go of the things she cannot control. New problems arise at her feet even though time has passed and the troubled teens are grown but are now troubled young adults.
The problems will not go away until the troubled young adults make a choice to admit they have a problem and decide to make life changes on their own. The dynamics of the family tree change as those troubled young adults start having children. The broken-hearted mother now has the title of grandmother while she still practices tough love with her own troubled young adult children.
Our daily lives are now very complex as a sweet little baby girl named Alexis was dropped off at my home just a few minutes ago by her Daddy so he could go to work as my daughter stayed home at their apartment. A family with a CPS order already in place with a baby three and a half days old. Due to the untreated mental health problems originating from being a troubled teen which then carried into my daughter’s young adulthood she cannot be alone with her baby until the CPS family plan is completed by both mother and presumed father.
Tough love is multi complex. It is important to stay calm and work through one problem at a time while letting go of the problems you cannot solve.
