Sonia Marsh's Blog, page 28
July 8, 2013
“My Gutsy Story®” Sharon Leaf
I Sailed the Seven Seas on a World War II Ship…
and lived to tell about it
~You cannot discover new oceans until you are willing to lose sight of the shore~
I inherited my love to travel from my father, and I had once dreamed of traveling the world for God, but now divorced, and a single mom, I shelved that dream … until I married my prince charming in my forty-second year.
After the fall of Soviet Union Communism in 1991, Rob and I were invited to assist in the new Christian schools in Estonia and Russia. My mind raced, Go to Russia? Are you crazy? Then a Voice asked, are you going to let fear rule you? Shoulders back, I took a deep breath of faith, blew out every ounce of fear, and in the dead of winter, I was on the way to my first international journey. From Tallinn to Tartu, from Leningrad to Moscow, for two weeks I was like a little girl in a candy store, soaking in new traditions, unfamiliar languages, delicious foods, but best of all, meeting warm and caring people.
After returning home, we felt God calling us to attend an international Bible college in Sweden, but I reasoned away the idea. We can’t leave our jobs, our ministry, and our family for a year. Then one night as I struggled for sleep, a challenging thought came. Don’t you want to live your dream? Faith swept over my tired body, and in the summer of ’91 two expats leased their home, sold their cars, bid their family and friends farewell, and boarded a jet plane for Sweden.
Our year was full of learning, from books to museums, but it was the people who taught us valuable lessons. I’m grateful to my Swedish neighbor who took me shopping at the centrum market and showed me that mayonnaise came in a tube instead of a jar. Later that evening after brushing his teeth, Rob informed me that Swedish toothpaste was yummy…tasted like mayonnaise. Oops.
After graduation, we toured Israel, and then joined a team in St. Petersburg to live for a month on the former Youth Communist propaganda train to distribute humanitarian aid throughout Siberia. There we were—twenty-five Russians, twenty-five Swedes, and the two Americans. Via interpreters, English was the main language spoken, but there were moments when I had to flee to our tiny cabin to escape the constant blending of Russian, Swedish, and Swenglish—a humorous combination of Swedish and English—to keep my head from spinning off. And heaven forbid if I left the train without my day’s supply of toilet tissue tucked in my pockets! (I learned the value of used newspapers, which most hospitals, orphanages, and homes supplied upon request).
The Russian’s kindness made every inconvenience fade and erased my doubts of traveling in the once-feared country, but I couldn’t wait to touch American soil. There would always be short trips, but to live abroad again? Never. Until …
Two years later a flyer crossed our path asking for volunteers to work on a WWII ship that was moored in Seattle, Washington, whose sole purpose would be to rescue Russian Jews from the Black Sea to Israel. Rob was ready to set sail. Not me. I didn’t want anything to upset my comfortable lifestyle, and I certainly had no desire to live on an old troop transporter ship the government had stored in mothballs after the war. She had only 93 running days, so there was no guarantee that her maiden voyage could even make the journey from Seattle to Stockholm, much less sail to the Black Sea and Israel.
But I wondered, Could this dangerous assignment mean an adventure of a lifetime? Hmm, I guess this is where faith must kick–again. So in spite of my fear of water and the unknown condition of the ship, the expats once again packed up, leased the house, quit jobs, sold cars, and bid farewell to family and their safe harbor. God had new oceans waiting.
As we sailed the seven seas, it didn’t take this lady long to fall in love with another lady, the MS Restoration. However, it was sometimes a stretch to love-thy-neighbor while living in such close quarters…a cabin large enough for a bed and four gym-size lockers, sharing dining experiences with a forty-plus crew in a small troop mess that often smelled like diesel oil. I often asked while cleaning stained toilets and hairy showers, God, what am I doing here?
Fourteen months on board the Restoration reminded me of life’s simple lessons: You don’t need a lot of stuff to be happy—four gym lockers will do. Instead of criticizing, (why do the Swedish cooks serve pancakes and—yuk—pea soup for lunch?), take time to understand their customs. Instead of judging (why does she have special privileges?), practice patience and find out. And no matter how small, boring, or unthankful the task, it is a very big, exciting, and thankful event in God’s eyes. Today, I remind myself of these lessons as I clean my own toilets and showers.
You’re probably wondering why I had to live on a WWII ship to learn these simple lessons. I asked myself that question often until one night while we were sailing across the Black Sea. As I gazed up at the stars, a familiar Voice spoke to my heart. I have chosen you to be a small part of my big plan to help bring my people home to Israel in these last days. From that moment, I felt honored to have been on this amazing journey.
The Titanic was called the ship of dreams, but the MS Restoration was our ship of miracles. Food, ship parts, bedding for the crew and Russian Jews, donations for fuel–the list goes on–showed up expectantly. But the greatest miracle was our changed hearts. Living on the Restoration truly restored everyone’s faith in God, in human kindness, in relationships, and in faith for forgotten dreams. And the dreams continue.
Read Lady and the Sea for my complete story. I wish you smooth sailing and oceans of blessings … and enjoy your journey! www.sharonleaf.com
SHARON LEAF: Born in South Carolina and raised in California, since turning forty, Sharon Leaf has traveled to sixteen countries, lived in Sweden to attend an international Bible college, traveled on the Trans-Siberian Railway, and sailed 26,000 miles on the WWII ship, MS Restoration, to transport Russian Jews from Russia to Israel. She received a degree in theology at sixty, proving that it’s never too late to fulfill another dream. Lady and the Sea is Sharon’s debut novel. She lives in South Carolina with her husband and keeps busy swimming, zumba-ing, and writing short stories (author Linda Kozar’s Moving Tales). www.sharonleaf.com
SONIA MARSH SAYS: What fascinating life experiences you’ve had, and there are two phrases that stuck in my head. 1). Are you going to let fear rule you? Shoulders back, I took a deep breath of faith, blew out every ounce of fear. 2). You don’t need a lot of stuff to be happy—four gym lockers will do. So true Sharon.
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VOTE NOW for your favorite June “My Gutsy Story®”
You have until July 10th, midnight PST to vote. Only ONE vote each. Please vote on Sidebar (right above the Freeways to Flip-Flops Book Cover) to Vote. Read all 4 stories here.
July 4, 2013
Winner of the Flip-Flops & Painted toenails contest
So on this special 4th July celebration, I’d like to pick two winners from our special flip-flop painted toenail contest. All the flip-flops were great, but we only received a few photos. I’ve decided on Darlene Goodrich with her Belizean blue morpho butterfly tattoo and Lois Joy Hofmann.
Bonnie Kassel has picked Sharon Leaf and Darlene Goodrich as her two winners.
Congratulations to you and please e-mail us your addresses and we shall send you our prizes. Here is the original contest with e-mail links for Bonnie and myself.
ANTHOLOGY LAUNCH UPDATE
VOTE NOW for your favorite June “My Gutsy Story®”
You have until July 10th, midnight PST to vote. Only ONE vote each. Please vote on Sidebar (right above the Freeways to Flip-Flops Book Cover) to Vote. Read all 4 stories here.
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Monday July 8th: Sharon Leaf’s “My Gutsy Story®”
July 1, 2013
“My Gutsy Story®” Liz Burgess
Time To Let Go
I had a five-hour drive to let reality sink in. I just left great friends and a job that I loved, a house full of memories and the feel of warm hugs from my kids at a moment’s notice. After 17 years, I was moving to a new city to be with my husband in a new home, and all I had with me was the dog and my clothes. Oh, and I was six months into a 12-Step program for food addiction. What the hell was I thinking? I was thinking that I didn’t bring enough tissues!
Ten years ago, my husband was offered a job in Boston and I refused to leave. I told him, “I’m not pulling the kids out of school and away from their friends.” I also didn’t want to leave my friends, especially since I had already done that once before. The kids don’t really remember that move. I, however, do remember it and how desperately I missed my friends and family. It took me two years to finally feel “at home” in that new house. I now had to go through finding that feeling of being at home all over again.
My new home is a one-bedroom apartment (a far cry from my four-bedroom house with a basement and huge backyard). The new place sits on a busy street, with all of busy sound effects that traffic can bring. I had forgotten the lack of privacy one has with common-wall neighbors. If I can hear them cough or sneeze, they surely can hear my conversations with the dog, on the phone, or with my husband. It’s amazing what I’ve learned about them without any exchange of conversation.
I chose to make this move because of my prior refusal, and the fact that the timing seemed good for everyone involved. The kids were almost all out (or wanting to be) on their own, I was going to have three months of down time (I worked at a public school) and it seemed like a good time to start the “empty nest” phase of my life. By making the move, I would not be able to fall back into old habits of enabling either my children or myself. It was time for me to grow up. I needed this fresh start, even if I didn’t want it!
Finding a job was difficult. Filing for unemployment was out of the question as I had never worked in the new state; and I couldn’t collect from the old state since I no longer lived there. I was fortunate to get hired for holiday help in retail and they allowed me to stay on after the season was finished. It’s not my dream job, but it IS a job. I feel very fortunate to have one!
I’ve been in my new home for about a year now, and still feel as though it is temporary. I’ve kept my old driver’s license, car registration, and have yet to begin moving any of my stuff from the old house “just in case.” Letting go is not one of my strong points, but I am learning. Working the Steps of my program of recovery has helped me let go of many things I thought I would have with me forever. Every now and then I catch a glimpse of the light ahead and am able to shed one more layer of something unnecessary in my life, including some bad habits, some weight and some really nasty feelings.
Anyone who is working a program of recovery knows the range of feelings that one can experience. Some days are filled with agony, white-knuckling and despair. On the other hand, the good days are filled with joy, hope and sense of well being that makes life full of adventure and new possibilities. My program, and the people I’ve come to know through it, has been my saving grace.
When I start to feel a little sorry for myself, I look for another glimpse of light and remember how far I’ve come, and how the difficulty of letting go has eased. I thank God for texting and facebook, as they both give me the feeling of connection. I now rely a little more on the Big Guy in the Sky and try to have more faith and patience. The answers will come when I’m supposed to know them. The dream job will appear when I’m ready for it. The people who mean the most to me will not be far, even if it is a bit of a drive. It’s all going to be okay.
LIZ BURGESS: Born and raised in Southern California, Liz can still conjure up the smells of the beach in a heartbeat. While raising four children, she began documenting their antics and in the process realized that writing was just as enjoyable as eating chocolate. Liz has been writing all of her life, but only recently began taking herself seriously. Her blog, “No Excuses-Musings of a Procrastinator” began as a self-improvement commitment, and has been a terrific platform for improving her writing, networking with other writers, and stepping outside of her comfort zone, all of which have been very rewarding. http://noexcuses318.blogspot.com.
You can connect with Liz Burgess on Facebook, or via e-mail: missliz318@charter.net
SONIA MARSH SAYS: I think your statement, “When I start to feel a little sorry for myself, I look for another glimpse of light and remember how far I’ve come, and how the difficulty of letting go has eased,” will resonate with many readers. Learning to be patient and to accept change is not easy and thank you for reminding us about this.
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ANTHOLOGY LAUNCH UPDATE
Mark your calendar for September 26th, 6-9 p.m. You are invited to our GREAT LAUNCH PARTY for our first “My Gutsy Story®” Anthology at the South Coast Village Regency Movie Theater, Costa Mesa, CA.
VOTE NOW for your favorite June “My Gutsy Story®”
You have until July 10th, midnight PST to vote. Only ONE vote each. Please vote on Sidebar (right above the Freeways to Flip-Flops Book Cover) to Vote. Read all 4 stories here.
June 27, 2013
Vote For Your Favorite June 2013 “My Gutsy Story®”
The voting starts right now for your favorite June 2013 “My Gutsy Story®.” You have 2 weeks to vote. The winner will be announced on July 11th and gets to select a prize from our sponsors.
These are the first 4 stories to be included in our 2nd Anthology. You are invited to our GREAT LAUNCH PARTY for our first “My Gutsy Story®” Anthology at the South Coast Village Regency Movie Theater, Costa Mesa, CA, on September 26th, from 6-9 pm. Keep checking “Gutsy Living” blog for updates on sponsors, etc.
Scroll Down on Sidebar (right above the Freeways to Flip-Flops Book Cover) to Vote. Only ONE vote each.
Our first moving story of the month was from Mary Hamer.
Mary Hamer
Mary shared her “My Gutsy Story®” of how she escaped her career and followed her passion.
Our second story this month is by Dixie Diamanti.
Dixie Diamante
Dixie’s story is courageous in that she shares how she broke the “secret” of incest within her family.
Our third story is by Penelope James.
Penelope James
Pennie wrote such an inspiring “My Gutsy Story®” about how she overcame job loss, financial struggles, health problems and moved on.
Our last story of the month is by Jennifer Richardson.
Jennifer Richardson
Jennifer shares her honest account of not giving into the pressures of becoming a mother.
Do you have a “My Gutsy Story®” you’d like to share?
Would you like to submit your “My Gutsy Story®” and get published in our 2nd anthology?
Please see guidelines below and contact Sonia Marsh at: sonia@soniamarsh.com for details.
You can find all the information, and our new sponsors on the “My Gutsy Story®” contest page. (VIDEO) Submission guidelines here
Visit us on Monday July 1st. Liz Burgess will be sharing her “My Gutsy Story®.”
June 24, 2013
“My Gutsy Story®” Jennifer Richardson
The case of the missing biological clock
In 2005, I quit my job in Los Angeles and moved to London with my British husband. You might think moving to a new country is the heart of my gutsy story, but it’s really just a backdrop. My real gutsy story is about how, while living in England, I finally made the decision not to have kids.
This is a decision that may not seem gutsy to all. Accusations of selfishness abound for the childless by choice. And as if societal pressures weren’t enough, my own self-judgment was also a factor. Did my lack of desire to be a mother make me less of a woman? What was wrong with me? And where the hell was my biological clock and why had it failed to start ticking?
In fairness, there had been indications earlier in my life that I wasn’t destined for motherhood. Take, for example, how as a teenager I used to stand in front of the microwave when it was on and proclaim I was radiating my uterus to prevent impregnation. (In retrospect, I’m pretty sure I did that because I enjoyed shocking my mother.) Then later, as my friends started to have babies, I was not blind to my uncanny ability to make infants cry instantly upon contact.
But still some part of me held out for the possibility that I would change my mind. This was what was supposed to happen, right? After all, I had grown up in the eighties when well-meaning feminists were still pushing the belief that women could and should do it all: husband, kids, and a glass-ceiling-breaking career where you got to wear jewel-colored power suits with linebacker-worthy shoulder pads. Convinced I, too, could and should want to do it all, in my late-twenties I even went as far as to threaten to break off my engagement to my anti-children fiancé if he wasn’t willing to leave open the possibility that one day we may have kids. He caved, and I was a married woman at twenty-nine.
Then, in what seemed like the blink of an eye, thirty-five arrived and there was still no sign of my biological clock. This state of affairs made me uneasy. I knew beyond that age I was entering into high-risk territory for a pregnancy, my parents were highly vocal about their desperation for grandchildren, and my husband—eager to know once and for all if his life was going to involve children or not—was becoming as vocal as my parents in expressing his desire for me to just make a decision already. This is where my story takes a not-so-gutsy turn: I caved to the pressure and, that Christmas, my husband and I announced to my parents that we were going to “try” for a baby in the next year.
But even this game of chicken I had played with myself and my poor, unsuspecting family was not enough to kick start my biological clock. This became clear as the next year wore on and each month I somehow ended up at the pharmacy to pick up a refill of birth control. Despite the fact that I was still uneasy, I was finally starting to admit to myself that I didn’t really want to have kids.
Later that year I ended up in a neurologist’s office with what turned out to be symptoms of multiple sclerosis. It was a development that left my husband and parents as shocked as I was, and temporarily took the focus off the fact that I still hadn’t tried to get pregnant. As I grappled with the nature of that disease, which is unsettlingly mysterious in its cause, treatments, and prognosis, I tried desperately to get my neurologist to articulate something I could do that would lessen my chances of developing the full-blown ailment. After evading my previous attempts to pin him down, he finally caved at a follow-up appointment, half-heartedly mentioning a study that had shown some evidence pregnancy would reduce my risk. I couldn’t have been more shocked if he had said voodoo might help.
And that’s the moment when I realized I didn’t want to have kids. This was as good a reason as I was ever going to get to have a child, and yet my gut instantly said no. (Not to mention that as a strategy for lessening my chances of developing a chronic disease, pregnancy seemed at best risky and at worst unethical.) It’s been four years since that day, and, although I have since been diagnosed with MS—which in my case just means I have had a second bout of temporary and relatively benign symptoms—I can honestly say I have no regrets about my decision, other than the fact that I didn’t have the confidence to make it sooner.
JENNIFER RICHARDSON is the author of Americashire: A Field Guide to a Marriage, the 2013 Indie Reader Discovery Award winner for travel writing. The memoir chronicles her decision to give up city life for the bucolic pleasures of the British countryside whilst debating the merits of motherhood. Americashire is out now from She Writes Press, and you can find Jennifer online at:
Website: www.americashire.com
Facebook:
Twitter: @BaronessBarren
Goodreads:
Pinterest:
SONIA MARSH SAYS: Throughout your story, I sensed your “gutsy” side to be left alone and not influenced by what others may say or think. Interesting how your MS diagnosis strengthened your decision to not have a baby despite what the doctor said.
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MARK YOUR CALENDAR FOR THE SPECIAL EVENT TO LAUNCH OF OUR FIRST “My Gutsy Story®” ANTHOLOGY, ON SEPTEMBER 26TH, 2013, IN ORANGE COUNTY, CALIFORNIA.
Click here for your invitation.
Do you have a “My Gutsy Story®” you’d like to share?
NOW is the time to submit your “My Gutsy Story®,” to be considered for our 2nd Anthology. Please see guidelines below and contact Sonia Marsh at: sonia@soniamarsh.com for details.
You can find all the information, and our new sponsors on the “My Gutsy Story®” contest page. (VIDEO) Submission guidelines here
The Voting for your favorite June 2013 “My Gutsy Story®” starts on Thursday June 27th, and ends at midnight on July 10th PST. The winner will be announced on Thursday, July 11th.
You can read all 4 stories for the month of June 2013 start of Anthology #2
Mary Hamer
Dixie Diamanti
Penelope James
Jennifer Richardson
June 20, 2013
Gutsy Flip-Flops and Toenail Contests
Sonia wearing her favorite flip-flops
Be Gutsy and join our summer flip-flops and painted toenail contest. Be different, daring and bold.
JOIN THE FLIP-FLOPS CONTEST and send your photos to: flipflopcontest@gmail.com
JOIN THE PAINTED TOE NAIL CONTEST and send your photos to: withoutaspare@gmail.com
You can double your chances to win and enter both
My blogger friend Bonnie Kassel suggested this great summer contest. You may remember reading her My Gutsy Story®, “Crossing the Sahara” in a VW Bug.
Bonnie’s painted toe-nails
Sonia is judging photos sent to the “Bare Feet in Flip-Flops” contest. (Be different, daring and bold.)
Bonnie is judging photos sent to the “Bare Feet With Polished Toes” contest (Be different, daring and bold.)
Contest Dates: June 20th-July3rd.
3 winners in each category: Announced on my blog on Thursday, July 4th.
Send Flip-Flop photos to: flipflopcontest@gmail.com
Send Bare Feet with Polished Toes photos to: withoutaspare@gmail.com
PRIZES:
Top 3 winners in flip-flops category get a copy of Sonia’s memoir: Freeways to Flip-Flops: A Family’s Year of Gutsy Living on a Tropical Island.
Top 3 winners in painted-toe nail category get a copy of Bonnie Kassel’s memoir: Without a Spare.
BONUS PRIZE: A pair of flip-flops and nail polish to the winner in each of the two categories.
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MARK YOUR CALENDAR FOR THE SPECIAL EVENT TO LAUNCH OF OUR FIRST “My Gutsy Story®” ANTHOLOGY, ON SEPTEMBER 26TH, 2013, IN ORANGE COUNTY, CALIFORNIA.
Click here for your invitation.
Do you have a “My Gutsy Story®” you’d like to share?
NOW is the time to submit your “My Gutsy Story®,” to be considered for our 2nd Anthology. Please see guidelines below and contact Sonia Marsh at: sonia@soniamarsh.com for details.
You can find all the information, and our new sponsors on the “My Gutsy Story®” contest page. (VIDEO) Submission guidelines here
June 2013 “My Gutsy Story®” stories
Mary Hamer’s
Dixie Diamanti
Pennie James
Monday, June 24th, Jennifer Richardson
Polls open to vote for your favorite June “My Gutsy Story®” starts on June 27th- July 10th. Winner announced on July 11th.
June 17, 2013
“My Gutsy Story®” Penelope James
What Do You Do when the Good Times End?
My advertising career started in London and ended in Mexico City in 1990 when my boss persuaded me to take early retirement. I heard “corporate takeover casualties,” but he was so smooth that for several minutes I didn’t understand that he meant “you’re fired.”
After I agreed, in exchange for a hefty sum, to resign, he asked, “What will you do next?”
“I’ll get rid of my high heels, give away my business suits, let my hair grow down to my waist—and strangle you with my pantyhose. Then, I’ll open a restaurant.” I’d been toying with this idea for a while. Just needed the money to get it going. With my severance package, marketing savvy, and cooking expertise, I knew it would be a success. Provide me with an income for life. At forty-six, I had high expectations.
Handling millions of dollars of other people’s money was easy compared to handling my own. There’d always been someone to go to the bank for me and help with my accounts and investments. Now I had to do them myself. Maybe I had a flutter of unease when I invested all of my money in this venture, took out loans and used credit cards up to the hilt, but I never expected I’d lose it all. My heart was not in this business; it was more like a romance on the rebound after the end of a long-time relationship.
The restaurant folded after a year, leaving me broke, rudderless, with no idea of where I was heading except, it seemed, downwards.
One morning a sudden urge woke me before dawn and I wrote the first chapter of a novel that would become my companion for nine years. I completed a full draft in four-and-a-half months, right before my fiftieth birthday. Set in both contemporary and 18th century Mexico, my book had two protagonists and two plots. Overambitious, perhaps, but it kept me going through loss of business, money, status, and my home of 16 years. Gave me a goal. By my mid-fifties I’d be a published author and over this economic hump.
Catering provided an income though not enough to keep up my former lifestyle. I sold half my belongings and moved to an apartment with a view of the Valley of Mexico. This inspired me to enter a world of mysticism, witches, brews, spells, and past life experiences that all became fodder for the book. I taught business English and catered events until one afternoon an earthquake rocked my building and sixteen trays of hors d’oeuvres slid off tables and smashed on the floor. Lost my best client, my income plunged, and I fell behind with the rent. My landlord agreed to take my living room furniture and most valuable painting in lieu of what I owed him.
I downscaled to a bungalow, former servants’ quarters, and plodded through a second draft. I wrote my frustrations, disappointments, fears into the pages, and the book became Gothic dark. An aching hip slowed me down.
A friend offered me a three-month housesitting job in Santa Fe, New Mexico with the bait that I’d have time to write. I ended up stranded, sleeping at her home between housesitting gigs until she turned unfriendly. Tried pet-sitting. A client asked would I sleep with his basset hound, meaning on the bed with me. A large, solid, tank-like dog that dribbled? My refusal didn’t bode well for my career as a pet-sitter.
My computer conked out, so I wrote the old-fashioned way, by hand. My protagonists faced significant obstacles as did I. A doctor diagnosed degeneration of my hip. I needed an operation. When? A year at most depending on my tolerance to pain.
My hip deteriorated; I couldn’t walk without a cane. I exchanged Santa Fe for life as an invalid in my son’s apartment in Tijuana, a city on the Mexican/US border. A doctor promised treatment to help regenerate cartilage. For eighteen months I believed I was making progress, even as the biting pain in my thigh grew worse. I wrote another two drafts of my book, a masterpiece of drama, supernatural happenings, and sex. Since I wasn’t getting any, it helped to write about it.
My mother died and left a life insurance that covered a hip replacement. Within weeks, I set out on a job search in San Diego. With no business contacts there, no car, no phone, and almost no money it meant, at fifty-six, trudging the streets looking for work instead of inhabiting an executive suite.
First I interviewed in ad agencies where I came face-to-face with young MBAs bristling with Internet knowhow and new marketing techniques. Next, want ads. Not computer savvy. Not qualified. Overqualified. A “We’re Hiring” banner offered a stopgap measure—a job as a phone researcher. $8 an hour. What a comedown, but the 1 to 9 p.m. shift was convenient for commuting across the border.
I became Susan—my first name – J. Whatever happened to Penelope who worked in solitary splendor in an elegant office? Now one of the hundred interviewers in the phone room, I sat in a cubicle wherever supervisors placed me. Another low-wage worker.
For four months I commuted four-and-a-half hours until I saved enough to move to the US. My new home was a hotel room. I wrote an eighth draft of my book. Gave my protagonists some happiness. They deserved it after all they had gone through.
Easy work, easy life. A two-year trap in a nothing job. An offer to work as a Hispanic research report writer put me back on track. In two weeks I made the same as in three months in the phone room. A new career beckoned. I could afford an apartment with a view of San Diego Bay. I shelved my book and started writing a riches-to-rags memoir.
Time to move on to the next stage in my life.
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Please hop over to meet Pennie on Facebook and make sure you like her FB page or join her on Twitter @Penelopemuses
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PENELOPE JAMES: Anglo-Mexican-American. Born in England, moved to Mexico City at 10. Worked in advertising agencies in New York, London, and Mexico City and in Hispanic Research in US. Author of Don’t Hang Up! What Do You Do when the Good Times End? to be published this autumn. Co-writer of Barriers to Love, a memoir by Marina Peralta. Currently lives in San Diego, CA.
Former Spanish-English translator, copywriter, report writer, columnist “Insights into Mexico” for The Baja News. Has published nonfiction short stories. A judge for the San Diego Book Awards 2010 to date. Website: http://www.donthangupbook.com
SONIA MARSH SAYS: What a life you’ve had Pennie. I admire your courage and determination and can understand the frustrations you faced, and how you never gave up. Your passion for writing will pay off. I know how hard you’ve worked on your writing career.
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Dixie Diamanti’s is the 2nd story in our “My Gutsy Story®” Anthology #2. Mary Hamer’s is the first one.
MARK YOUR CALENDAR FOR THE SPECIAL EVENT TO LAUNCH OF OUR FIRST “My Gutsy Story®” ANTHOLOGY, ON SEPTEMBER 26TH, 2013, IN ORANGE COUNTY, CALIFORNIA.
Click here for your invitation.
Do you have a “My Gutsy Story®” you’d like to share?
NOW is the time to submit your “My Gutsy Story®,” to be considered for our 2nd Anthology. Please see guidelines below and contact Sonia Marsh at: sonia@soniamarsh.com for details.
You can find all the information, and our new sponsors on the “My Gutsy Story®” contest page. (VIDEO) Submission guidelines here
June 13, 2013
The Best Way to Get Something Done is to Do it Yourself
Friends of the Los Alamitos Library inviting me to speak on 6-9-13
It’s taken me many years to figure out that I can take charge of things myself.
Perhaps being a “mostly” stay-at-home mom when my kids were growing up, made me believe that others knew way more about how to ——— (you fill in the blank) than I did.
Seven years ago, I decided to write my memoir, and throughout the years, I’ve been learning new skills:
Social Media
Writing
Blogging
Starting my publishing company
Marketing
Book promotion
Publicist
Networking
Public Speaking
Event planning
I realize how much a person can do, if they try hard.
Gladys Ingle of the 13 BLACK CATS changes planes in mid-air
Now here’s one Gutsy Woman from 1924, who did something I could never do, even if I tried hard.
I know many writers, bloggers and authors who are working 60+ hours a week to achieve their goals, and I applaud them. I follow them daily on Gutsy Indie Publishers, on National Association of Memoir Writers, and on their own personal websites.
As a proud baby boomer, I’m amazed at how our generation keeps moving along, doing their best to keep learning new skills that seem so easy for my children’s generation. (A quick aside. Do you know how happy I am when I ask my twenty-something sons a social media question and they don’t know the answer and I do. YES!)
Chris Guillebeau wrote about “The Challenge and the Opportunity.” What struck me as interesting was his comment:
“To me it seemed simple enough: something needs doing, I don’t see another way to do it, so I’ll just do it myself….I’ve had this attitude all my life, and it’s helped me accomplish a lot of things. Whenever I wanted something done, I’d find a way to make it happen.”
But what happens when you get too busy, or you just can’t figure things out yourself?
As Chris points out, everyone has strengths and weaknesses, and there comes a time when you have to question your abilities. Are you wasting your time trying to figure out something that someone else can do better than you?
I know what I enjoy, and what I’m good at, but I also know what doesn’t interest me, and what would take me years to learn. Those are the tasks I delegate to others. Three good examples are:
hiring a tech guy like Jay Donovan to fix my website problems
hiring a professional company 1106 Design to design and format my book(s)
hiring a copy editor like Eve Gumpel to go through my manuscript
In my case, I try to do as much as I can myself, and once I understand my limitations, I ask for help. What about you? Do you struggle with trying to do everything yourself?
***
Next post Monday June 17th. “My Gutsy Story®” by Penelope James.
MARK YOUR CALENDAR FOR THE SPECIAL EVENT TO LAUNCH OF OUR FIRST “My Gutsy Story®” ANTHOLOGY, ON SEPTEMBER 26TH, 2013, IN ORANGE COUNTY, CALIFORNIA.
Click here for your invitation.
Do you have a “My Gutsy Story®” you’d like to share?
NOW is the time to submit your “My Gutsy Story®.” Please see guidelines below and contact Sonia Marsh at: sonia@soniamarsh.com for details.
You can find all the information, and our new sponsors on the “My Gutsy Story®” contest page. (VIDEO) Submission guidelines here
June 10, 2013
“My Gutsy Story®” Dixie Diamanti
Breaking the Silence
In horror, I stared at my 11-year-old daughter as she, with tears running down her rosy cheeks, recounted the times and places my own father had molested her. I was torn from my place of denial with a vengeance that knew no mercy. A war waged inside of me. The little girl in me, who never faced her own issues, and being the mother who was always overly protective, fought for freedom from reality. The very thing I thought I had so protected her from had happened. I was in shock. The stark realization of it began to sink in as I tried to make sense of everything I had been thrust into.
I was 35 years old and had never told a soul that I, too, was an incest survivor. I was totally convinced I would go to the grave with the “secret”. Now, because of my silence and denial, my own precious little girl, whom I thought I had protected with my life, had fallen victim to the very same thing I had endured. “Dear God, how does one survive so much pain,” I prayed. I honestly thought my heart would break. My whole foundation of belief was shaken to the core. I had convinced myself that I would never again have to deal with what happened to me as a child between the ages of 7 and 12 years of age.
I had very vivid memories of every incident down to the details but, until then, I felt nothing emotionally. I had blocked out all feeling but remembered everything. I taught myself as a little girl to separate from my body when I couldn’t deal with the trauma. The real me floated on the ceiling playing with the butterflies while watching what was going on below. I would feel sorry for the little girl below, because she looked so sad. But I was just glad it wasn’t happening to me.
Interesting enough, I had been in ministry for years, teaching and praying for the needs of other women when the force of my own past hit me like a ton of bricks. I slowly realized that I, just like the women I ministered to, must begin the journey of walking through the pain of what happened to me to reach the shores of deliverance. I had been in denial for so many years. I had no idea where the journey would take me and I was scared. I knew I had to break the silence. I started with my daughter.
I went to work immediately to give my daughter all the care and love that I had so desperately needed as a child, but never got. My mom instincts took the place of my own victimization. I listened, validated, and comforted her with assurance that I totally believed her and would be there continually as she worked through her emotions. I didn’t realize it at the time but I found that in validating her, I was also validating myself, as no one else ever did for me.
Confronting and exposing within my childhood family was the hardest thing that I ever had to do but I knew if I didn’t the incest would continue. I felt like a wicked person at having to make my mom look at the truth. It was horrible and heart breaking for me to watch her pain at my disclosure in detail. But she soon accused me of lying and regressed into denial of which she was always good at doing. Our relationship, faced with truth and not pretension, was never the same. She could not accept the truth. She did confront my dad. But somehow they excused themselves of any responsibility and continued living as if it never happened. I eventually had to release any expectations of her and accept the fact I could not change her, nor make things better for her.
The moment I released her from any of my expectations was the beginning of freedom for me. And when I realized I would receive nothing emotionally from either of them, I released myself from the responsibility of protecting anyone ever again from this kind of violation, nor would I keep their secret. I was the victim. But that is the day I became a ‘survivor’. And that was the day the generational pattern of incest was stopped in my family. It was at that point that I knew my grandchildren would not be victims to the same crime. The darkness had been exposed to the light. The power of the “secret” was gone. I felt empowered and free from the entanglements and emotions of the past.
Today, my daughter and I both are still learning to “live loved” by our real “Father” in Heaven.
DIXIE DIAMANTI is a Certified Life Coach, author, speaker, and teacher, Dixie has reached out to women and men on the Central Coast of California for many years, leading them into freedom. She believes that every child of God has a distinct calling, and through her work, she assists and coaches them in finding their unique purpose in life. Dixie loves to encourage and challenge clients to move forward in uncovering and making use of the hidden treasures within themselves through the coaching process of self discovery. She is a wife, mom, and nana, to a large and supportive family. Website:www.reflectionsofgracehome.com
Dixie’s book: “Climbing Out of the Box,” My Journey Out of Sexual and Spiritual Abuse Into Freedom and Healing, can be purchased on Amazon.com.
E-mail: Dixie@reflectionsofgracehome.com
SONIA MARSH SAYS: Dixie, thank you for opening up and sharing your story of how you broke the cycle of incest within your family. Your strength and courage in confronting your mother and releasing the “power of the “secret,” will help others see how you have healed and stopped the cycle of abuse within your family.
Dixie Diamanti’s is the 2nd story of our second series “My Gutsy Story®” Anthology #2. Mary Hamer’s is the first one.
MARK YOUR CALENDAR FOR THE SPECIAL EVENT TO LAUNCH OF OUR FIRST “My Gutsy Story®” ANTHOLOGY, ON SEPTEMBER 26TH, 2013, IN ORANGE COUNTY, CALIFORNIA.
Click here for your invitation.
Do you have a “My Gutsy Story®” you’d like to share?
NOW is the time to submit your “My Gutsy Story®.” Please see guidelines below and contact Sonia Marsh at: sonia@soniamarsh.com for details.
You can find all the information, and our new sponsors on the “My Gutsy Story®” contest page. (VIDEO) Submission guidelines here
June 6, 2013
Your Special Invitation to “My Gutsy Story®” Event on September 26th, 2013
We are going to be in this theater. Please invite your friends.
I know this is early, but I’m so excited to let you know about the special location for the launch of our first Anthology on September 26th, 2013.
“My Gutsy Story®” Anthology.
Thanks to Larry Poricelli, Regional Manager of the Regency Theaters, and President of Southern California Writers Association (SCWA) we are inviting all 64 authors and the general public (up to 500 people) to attend this special event starting at 7 p.m., at the South Coast Village Regency Theater on Thursday, September 26th, 2013.
Larry Poricelli
We are putting together a panel of four indie authors, including Jason Matthews, Larry Jacobson, TED-x speaker and “My Gutsy Story®” contributor, myself and one other amazing panelist. We have two other amazing panelists we’re waiting to hear back from before announcing the final panel, an our moderator is well-known in the field of writing. She hosts a radio show, and has interviewed several famous authors.
We are contacting sponsors, and part of proceeds will benefit a charity. Your suggestions regarding potential sponsors are greatly appreciated.
The Regency South Coast Village theater is located in a fabulous area, close to Orange County Airport- aka John Wayne airport (SNA), South Coast Plaza, the largest shopping mall on the west coast (if you’re a shopper you won’t be disappointed,) and many hotels and restaurants within walking distance of the theater.
The Regency South Coast Village Theatre
Inside the Regency South Coast Village Theater
1561 W. Sunflower Ave., Santa Ana, CA, 92704
(714) 557-5701
Sonia checking out the lobby of the theater
Please check back and mark your calendars for this event. If you cannot make it, let your friends know about it. We shall update you on panelists, sponsors, and the event, as we move along.
