Sonia Marsh's Blog, page 32
February 21, 2013
How do I get book signings?
Chaucer’s Books, Santa Barbara, California
How do I get book signings?
Please don’t laugh; my answer might shock you.
You have two options:
You pick up the phone
You drive to the book store
I know this sounds simplistic, but believe me, once you’ve tried, it’s quite easy.
The secret is to be confident and come across as a pro.
Here’s how I do it. I start off with a small intro, and brag a little.
“Hello, my name is Sonia Marsh, and I’m a local author. I was interviewed on the front page of the OC Register, and my memoir was mentioned as a “hot read” in OC Metro. Who do I speak to regarding a book signing at your store?”
I never tell them I’m indie-published, and they never ask.
Depending on the response, I either e-mail the person in charge, or set a date to drop off some books and sign the consignment form.
My e-mail consists of a similar introduction, short synopsis of my book with links to my press kit+videos, reviews, and a short bio.
Whenever I have time, I stop at indie bookstores and introduce myself. I ask for the manager, and compliment them on their store and ask if they would like to keep some copies of my book on consignment. So far, I’ve had no problems leaving copies at various book stores in California, and booking events.
Barnes and Noble, stores are more difficult to get into, unless you started your own publishing company and can therefore offer them the 55% discount rate they “expect” and make the books returnable. This I did thanks to Linda Austin, and the advice she gave to our Facebook group (please join us) for all indie authors and writers at “Gutsy Indie Publishers.” She has put together several helpful documents on her site’s resources page.
I believe the purpose of book signings is to meet people, and not just to sell.
At my last book signing at Chaucer’s, a beautiful book store off State Street in Santa Barbara, I only sold one copy, but I still considered it worthwhile.
Unfortunately, I picked the worst rainstorm night to do a signing, however, here’s why I consider it a success.
Two wonderful authors, and workshop leaders, Marla Miller, and Marcia Meier, whom I met several years ago at other conferences, showed up and we chatted and brainstormed about writing, publishing, promotion, events, contests, etc.
Marla Miller, Sonia Marsh, Marcia Meier
Chaucer’s Books has amazing staff, including Erik and Scott.
It’s all about word-of-mouth, and I met 3 women who wanted to share my story with their friends, and took several bookmarks
I met the co-founder of OneSpiritDancing.org, a man who purchased my book and shared the purpose of his organization with me which is:
“OneSpiritDancing connects women, children and teens in rural West Africa with their counterparts here in the United States. By focusing on movement, song, dance, communication and leadership skills.”
Since I lived in West Africa, and have a desire to help, this was such an unexpected chance meeting.
You never know what new contacts may lead to in the future.
Chaucer’s book events are advertised on a local Santa Barbara radio station for several days, and mention the author’s name and book.
Chaucer’s event planner, advertises the event in local papers.
I can always ask for another event when it’s sunny.
I stopped at Apostrophe Books in Belmont Shores on the way to Santa Barbara to was asked to leave some books on consignment.
My son is at UCSB, so I managed to have lunch with him.
Chaucer’s sold some books before my event and kept 5 extra copies.
I never get tired of meeting people, and sharing stories.
What about you? How do you get book signings? Have you tried?
***
Do you have a “My Gutsy Story®” you’d like to share?
NOW is the time to submit your “My Gutsy Story®” and get published in our Anthology. Please contact Sonia Marsh at: sonia@soniamarsh.com for details.
Please read and share our first February’s 2013 story by Sandra Bornstein, our second by Anne Loney, and our 3rd by Diane Danvers-Simmons
You can find all the information, and our new sponsors on the “My Gutsy Story®” contest page. (VIDEO) Submission guidelines here
February 18, 2013
“My Gutsy Story®” Diane Danvers Simmons
Up Up and Away and I Lived to Tell The Story!
My gutsy story is not simply one of travel. It’s sitting here painstakingly tapping my fingers two at a time on my laptop as I attempt to transfer the truth of my heart, the tone of my voice, and the nuances of my English wit and spelling into the written word. I’d have no problem talking in front of the United Nations about the virtues of Brussels sprouts, but honing down one day of my journey to Morocco into 1000 words is terrifying.
When I started this narration I intended to simply share the tale of a rather eventful day in my quest to overcome my fear of heights, which baffled me as I was a dare devil in training as a child. But as I began to write, it became obvious I had lost my wings to fly and I needed to get them back again.
This experience highlights the freedom, growth and the opportunities that we allow ourselves when we travel and go beyond our day-to-day lives, even if it is before the birds are up and singing. The sunrise, excitement and loss for words were worth every added wrinkle, and dark circles under my eyes.
May 6th …Sunrise… Somewhere in the desert an hour or two outside of Marrakech!
I never thought I’d find myself floating high in the sky, suspended in a wicker basket under a huge balloon envelope, fueled by the flame of intense heat and the folly of the wind gods.
My daughter and I were traveling in the oldest form of human-carrying air technology that’s dependent on the currents of the wind, and in our case, a French man with unruly peppered tinged hair, who exclaimed, “Oh Sheeit,” every few minutes, albeit in a rather lovely accent! I was vigilantly obeying the French man’s orders to hold on tightly to the basket’s leather straps with my knees bent and feet astride (not a flattering pose for the camera!) as we were unleashed from the stability of the earth into the atmosphere. This was the moment where I clutched my St. Christopher and prayed that God remembered all the good things I’ve done in my life and had forgotten the naughty ones. My only comfort at this juncture is the knowledge that the French pioneered hot air ballooning in 1733, so hopefully they had mastered the skill by now. But then again, interestingly, all eight passengers were British, so I was trying to figure out if the Brits had done anything to upset the French lately, other than root for the Italians in the World Cup and drain their wine cellars of Champagne. I can assure you a glass or ten, would have been much appreciated at this point!!
All aside, this expedition is a tick (American translation-check) on my bucket list!
Hot air ballooning is unbelievable; the pure silence and chilled freshness of the air calms, but also exhilarates. I can honestly say I have never experienced such awe-inspiring quietness, such peace, even if it was interrupted by the occasional blast of heat from the burner, or the exclamations, “bloody brilliant” or “oh f…” as the cameras clued to our eye sockets repeatedly clicked away capturing the beauty of this newly found thrill.
Marrakech shined in all her morning glory on the horizon as the call for prayer awakened the city. Daily life stirred below inside the mud walls of the hidden Berber villages as the routine of daily life unfolded; a Sheppard was herding his flock to new pastures while women worked the fields, and animated children jumped, waved, and shouted to welcome us as our balloon cast shadows on the ground where they ran.
This journey was magical, which was apparent by the enormous grins on our faces…even if our pilot couldn’t seem to land the balloon after his 5th attempt!! OH SHIT!! No, none of us did…we’re all British remember!
When I took flight that day I never expected it to be the metaphor for my life. I had to allow myself to feel totally uncomfortable in the moment and trust the unexpected. But what I learned from the experience was much more. The resolution to take flight in a hot air balloon was more than overcoming a fear and seeing the world from a different perspective. It was about observing life through a clear lens with an open mind and ultimately letting go of the chains that bound me. I freed myself that day and I left with a renewed sense of confidence, belief and purpose …But most of all a memory shared with my daughter that will stay in our hearts forever.
This day and the days that followed in Morocco became the catalyst that challenged me to reach further and develop a Forum to inspire and empower women. It doesn’t involve hot air balloons …but it does encourage you to follow your dreams and live your life the way you choose in your very own brilliance at any age.
Diane Danvers-Simmons Says: My new venture will launch at “Own it, Feel it, Live it.com” on March 3rd 2013 and will feature the workshops I have created for women, Spirituality in Stiletto’s, which provide a safe haven where real women, living real lives, can reignite their spirit and regain their life balance all while having a “bloody good laugh”.
I’m now living my own Gutsy story!
Please visit Diane Danvers Simmons websites at Ownitfeelitliveit.com and thetravellingbritswit.com. You can contact Diane via e-mail at diane@ownitfeelitliveit.com
Sonia Marsh Says: I love the way you infuse humor in sharing your experience of a lifetime with us. How this flight in a hot air balloon helped you overcome your fears, let go, and see the world from a different perspective. It set you free.
***
Do you have a “My Gutsy Story®” you’d like to share?
NOW is the time to submit your “My Gutsy Story®” and get published in our Anthology. Please contact Sonia Marsh at: sonia@soniamarsh.com for details.
Please read and share our first February’s 2013 story by Sandra Bornstein, and our second by Anne Loney.
You can find all the information, and our new sponsors on the “My Gutsy Story®” contest page. (VIDEO) Submission guidelines here
February 14, 2013
Valentine’s Day Winner of “My Gutsy Story®” Contest
2 free gifts at the bottom of the post next to
Congratulations Mary Gottshcalk. Your inspiring story about quitting your corporate life and following your passion, won the most votes, and you’re the winner of the January “My Gutsy Story®” contest.
In 2nd place, Michael Jay who wrote a beautiful coming of age story.
In 3rd place, Linda Joy Myers. She was just one vote shy of Michael Jay.An amazing story about yearning for her mother’s love and acceptance and forgiveness.
And the uplifting story about how cancer changed Christine Lewry.
Thanks to all four of you for inspiring us, and Happy Valentine’s Day.
We have a new sponsor today. Please check out our contest page to see the updated list.
***
Do you have a “My Gutsy Story®” you’d like to share?
NOW is the time to submit your “My Gutsy Story®” and get published in our Anthology. Please contact Sonia Marsh at: sonia@soniamarsh.com for details.
Please read and share our first February’s 2013 story by Sandra Bornstein, and our second by Anne Loney.
You can find all the information, and our new sponsors on the “My Gutsy Story®” contest page. (VIDEO) Submission guidelines here
2 Free Gifts for you on Valentine’s Day
1). I’m offering a Free Copy of my memoir: Freeways to Flip-Flops: A Family’s Year of Gutsy Living on A Tropical Island to the first person who submits their “My Gutsy Story®” “LOVE STORY” which we shall feature on this site. Please see guidelines here.
2). Ferris Robinson is offering a Free Download of her book, Dogs and Love, Stories of Fidelity all day today. Thank you Ferris.
February 11, 2013
“My Gutsy Story®” Anne Loney
Kitchen Table
The first thing I noticed was the fear in her eyes. There was a quiver in her voice, an unknowing blackness of nothing and a longing to have answers. Then I noticed the marks. The marks matter of course but it’s the mental harm that breaks you apart… tears you into pieces.
I listened as she cried. I shook my head as she explained.
Life is so different behind closed doors… HE is always right… YOU are always wrong. The sooner you learn this the easier it will be. Love is built on fear and manipulation. Possible consequences are how you make decisions on a daily basis which brings a whole new meaning to walking on egg shells.
I’ve seen them together. She apologizes instantly and chooses the words she speaks carefully. She doesn’t hold eye contact long before seeming uncomfortable and when she is asked a question she looks at him to answer it.
As she explained what happened I felt as if I could vomit. An unsettling fear came welding up inside me as if I were there. Not as a bystander but as a ‘participant’.
I once was.
I was swept back 6 years ago when my best friend looked me straight in the eyes and said “You are pathetic.” Not because she was trying to hurt me but because she loved me. She wanted me to see what I had become. I was a walking ‘nothing’, a pathetic black hole in life and had become robotic. She had the courage to tell me those words in hopes to shake me somewhere deep within my core in hopes that I would make a decision to get my life back.
I did.
Moment after moment I was reminded of how my life used to be. Emotions surfaced that I gratefully hadn’t felt in years. The wound was fresh and had been cut back open as if it was happening to me all over again. My heart broke and I physically hurt for her. Wanting so badly to tell her how wonderful my life is now and how it can be better.
I cried with her as she justified his actions, his words and her reasons for staying. Instead of telling her exactly what she should do I chose to tell her how I understood.
“You feel he is the smartest man in the world. You feel that there was something you should have done to prevent this. You feel that you in some way deserved this because he knows best. You feel you have to prove yourself to him in order for him to love you. As if you failed and that is why all this happened. You just want things to be back to ‘ok’ again because ‘ok’ is better than this. You go back through the situation in your head. Going over every word spoken and every action taken just trying to find out where you went wrong. You feel as if no one understands because they don’t know the real him and they don’t know the full story.”
“Exactly.” She whispered.
“You take this as a ‘lesson learned’ so you know what you shouldn’t do next time.” I stated.
“Yes.” She cried.
It was as if I was sitting across the kitchen table with my ‘old’ self. As if I was looking myself in the eyes begging and pleading for me to be strong enough to make the decision I knew needed to be made. I was just too scared. The unknowing is much more frightening than the known. Even if the ‘known’ is hell because at this point you’ve learned how to handle ‘hell’.
The conversation continued for hours and I offered up an embrace with both of us crying. I only hoped somewhere among my words a light would off. At least a feeling that she knew she was not alone in all this and that by looking at me she would also know that life could be better. Even though I’m lonely at times… I’m not miserable anymore.
As I walked out the door and headed to my car I stopped. So badly wanting to run back inside, grab her and make a decision for her in which I knew was best. But I know all too well it’s a decision she has to make on her own.
The short drive home felt like eternity. I felt completely numb and wasn’t sure which feelings I should be embracing. The old me… the hurt torn empty me… or the new me… the loved, wanted and full me? As my apartment door closed behind me I stood there frozen. Eventually sitting down on the bricks that line my entryway and I cried.
For 6 years I have been focused on where I need to be, what I need to work on and where I need to go from here. I’ve focused on pulling myself back together and what needs healed inside me. Yet I never looked to see how far I had come… until now.
As I sat there I chose to give myself credit this time. I chose to let myself feel all that I had done over the years and all of who I had worked so hard to become. I’m a wonderful mother and a great friend to many. I have a kind and understanding heart that people hold dear. I listen and love with all I have. I have made it on my own.
I have never been proud of myself, hold myself to standards that even a saint couldn’t reach and yet I still try. I have chosen to try and save the world yet in the process I forgot to see how I saved myself.
In that very moment as I sat on the bricks inside my doorway and looked around my place with a soaked shirt from the streaming tears I realize…
I love me and I am proud of who I have become.
***
Anne Adelle Bio: Anne Adelle grew up in Des Moines, Iowa and currently lives in Seattle, WA with her two young children. She works as a freelance writer and volunteers for several non-profit organizations in her free time. She is most committed to supporting women who have suffered from domestic abuse. Anne has been writing since she was six and won the Young Authors Award. In 2012 Anne left the corporate world in order to fully pursue her passion to be a writer. Pulling from raw experience her first novel portrays a woman struggling to recreate herself after an 11-year abusive relationship through the courage and mishaps within today’s dating world. She looks to have her book published this year.
Please check Anne’s website, her Twitter handle is @smconfidential and join her on Facebook.
Sonia Marsh Says: I am so proud of your accomplishments and realize how far you’ve come and how much courage it must have taken for you to change and get out of an abusive relationship. I am also grateful to your best friend who “looked me straight in the eyes and said ‘You are pathetic.’ Not because she was trying to hurt me but because she loved me.” Thank you Anne for sharing this and I hope through sharing your story, you can help many other women get out of an abusive situation.
****
VOTING for your favorite January 2013 “My Gutsy Story®” started on January 31st, and ends on February 13th. You can read all 4 submissions here.
The winner will be announced on February 14th, Valentine’s Day. We have a new sponsor, Carolyn Howard-Johson, who is offering her e-book as a prize: The Frugal Editor.
Do you have a “My Gutsy Story®” you’d like to share?
NOW is the time to submit your “My Gutsy Story®” and get published in our Anthology. Please contact sonia@soniamarsh.com for details.
Our first February’s 2013 story is by Sandra Bornstein
You can find all the information, and our sponsors on the “My Gutsy Story®” contest page. (VIDEO) Submission guidelines here
February 7, 2013
Should I enter the Biggest, Baddest Bucket list travel competition?
Ok, I admit I like to be called “gutsy,” so in the middle of the night, while my brain worked overtime, I ran to my desk and wrote on a post-it note:
“How the hell can I tell people to be “gutsy” if I don’t do it myself.”
So I found this contest which just happened to land in my inbox in the nick of time. Here’s the video.
It’s called the Biggest Baddest Bucket List launched on 28th January 2013, and I read it’s the ‘the world’s biggest ever travel competition’.
The prize is an amazing all expenses paid trip around the world.
6 months (June 2013-December 2013)
6 Continents
All travel/hotel expenses paid
$10,000 spending money
25 destinations minimum from the My Destination network
At least two destinations per continent.
Meet “local Experts”
Blog as you go
Win $50,000 when you get home
The winner selects HER (yes why not a female, why not me?) destinations.
How to enter:
Submit your own video 3-minute (max) video about a destination of your choice
Short blog post (200-500 words) + photos
Spread the word on social media
Get people to vote for you
You have until 31st March 2013 to enter.
Check out all the details on the Biggest, Baddest, Bucket List.
For inspiration check out the My Destination website and Travel Blog and keep your eyes peeled for updates on our Twitter and Facebook pages. We’re certainly not shy when it comes to food for thought!!!
How to Win!
It’s not difficult to be in the running for this amazing prize, as long as you take a close look at these and other requirements. Remember, only the best entries will get voted by the public and by our judges, so give yourself the best chance possible.
The themes covered on the Destinations website:
Adventure
Arts and Culture
Editorial
Family Fun
Food and Drink
Hot List
Inspiration
Mini Break
Retreats and Relaxation
Seasonal Celebrations
Sports
If you love to travel, I think you’ll enjoy this article about Fred Finn, the 15 million-mile man.
“Today, Fred has crossed the Atlantic 2,000 times; he’s taken 718 Concord flights and visited 139 countries. Having clocked up over 15 million miles he is the Guinness World Record holder for the World’s Most Travelled Man. Not bad for a man who claims he used to get car sick.”
So where else does Fred want to go? Maybe he should ask Chris Guillebeau, the younger version of Fred, who has visited every country in the world, except one I believe it’s Norway, before his 35th birthday.
Fred Finn, a man who has been to over 139 countries, says his highlights have been:
Paragliding and big game fishing in Florida
Croatia has also won him over
For beauty Fred recommends the Seychelles
For history he adores Romney Marsh in south-east England
For warmth of welcome the Ukraine
“The Ukrainians are the most hospitable people, they really are magnificent.”
With so much under his belt is there anywhere still on his bucket list?
“Antarctica,” he says after careful consideration.
So should I enter the contest?
What kind of video should I make?
What angle should I take to stand out from the “young people?”
What would interest you ?
What can I bring to this competition?
Would you support me?
What about you? Do you want to give it a shot?
VOTING for your favorite January 2013 “My Gutsy Story®” started on January 31st, and ends on February 13th. You can read all 4 submissions here.
The winner will be announced on February 14th, Valentine’s Day. We have a new sponsor, Carolyn Howard-Johson, who is offering her e-book as a prize: The Frugal Editor.
Do you have a “My Gutsy Story®” you’d like to share?
NOW is the time to submit your “My Gutsy Story®” and get published in our Anthology. Please contact sonia@soniamarsh.com for details.
You can find all the information, and our sponsors on the “My Gutsy Story®” contest page. (VIDEO) Submission guidelines here
February 4, 2013
“My Gutsy Story®” Sandra Bornstein
Becoming an International Teacher in Bangalore, India
I dropped off a package at the FedEx office today. As I walked back to the car, my thoughts drifted back to 2010. I was sitting in the same parking lot staring at the majestic Colorado Rockies as I contemplated my future. If I returned the adjacent envelope to India, I would be committing to a two-year teaching contract at a notable international school. If I chose not to send it, I had no idea what I would do.
Eventually, I walked into the office and dropped off the envelope. For weeks, I had pondered my options always returning to the same question.
Would I be foolish to pass on a once in a lifetime opportunity?
My friends and relatives saw it in a different light. Most were not shy in voicing their opposition.
“You’ll never survive.”
“Have you lost your mind?”
Only a handful of my friends were supportive and politely agreed that it would be a wonderful experience. For the most part, it was my husband and me against the world. To counter this onslaught of opposition, I referred to our new career paths as an adventure. The pervasive negativity, however, did cause me to momentarily pause to reflect on our sanity.
We had not lost our minds.
Months earlier, my husband had accepted a job that required living in India for approximately 6 months each year and extensive travel during the remaining months. I could have decided to remain in suburban Colorado. Instead, I chose the less popular route.
My husband’s employers represented that we would see more of each other if I chose to move to India. The chance to teach at an international Indian school fulfilled a lasting passion to truly make a difference. I wasn’t willing to take a pass.
After arriving in India, I started to have my doubts. Everything was foreign and strange. I was totally unprepared. I was resisting culture shock much like you would fight severe allergies. My frequent allergy shots were daily exposures to a new culture.
Daily doses of Indian culture initially caused adverse reactions. Within a day of arriving, I shuddered with fear when a monkey entered our fifth floor apartment and jumped up and down on our dining room table. I sat in disbelief.
How could a monkey enter a fifth floor apartment? What could possibly happen next?
The peace and quiet associated with a small community of less than 15,000 people was turned upside down when I found myself living in a congested urban area with more than 8.5 million people.
From the time I was in elementary school, I freely crossed American streets. Now in India, I winced whenever I approached a street. Cars, trucks, buses, rickshaws, and motorcycles rarely followed any traffic rules. I was terrified. I wanted a crossing guard. I wish my expat supervisor had had one. She was the victim of a hit and run accident.
While many of my day-to-day encounters caused a high level of stress and anxiety, I was intrigued by Hindu culture and the ancient structures that dotted the countryside. Acting like a tourist, I was able to expand my limited understanding of Indian geography, history and culture. By engaging strangers, I was able to gather bits and pieces of information. I overcame my childhood anxiety of “stranger danger” and relished the chance to find answers to my questions.
My travel adventures were limited since I spent most of my time teaching at the international school. Monkeys once again were part of my daily life. These curious mammals frequented my guest room, classroom, and the playground. Food was their primary target. Security guards with long wooden sticks would chase them away. The monkeys quickly returned whenever they spotted any child carrying food. Luckily, none of the students were hurt while I was at the school.
There were only 18 students (12 boys and 6 girls) in my 5th grade classroom. Overall, the students were exceptionally polite and interested in learning. Completing homework assignments on a regular basis was another story. Many were not motivated and the problem permeated the entire primary school.
One of the highlights of my teaching experience was the 5th grade outdoor education trip to Kabini River Lodge. By being in a less formal setting, I was able to get to know my students and some faculty members better. Taking daily safaris into an Indian jungle was more than I ever anticipated when I signed my contract. When one of the jeeps broke down, I wondered what calamity would happen next. Fortunately, the perils associated with being vulnerable in the jungle did not materialize.
Cochin on way back from synagogue in Jew Town.
Another high point was the trip I took with two of my teaching colleagues. We traveled by plane to Cochin and then by car to Munnar. The mountainous terrain and the cool crisp air was a respite from the pervasive pollution and intense heat of Bangalore and New Delhi. Taking hikes through the countryside with my colleagues refreshed my spirit. It was a welcomed mid-semester break from the day-to-day rigors of teaching. An extra bonus was our stop at the Paradesi Synagogue in Cochin, the oldest active synagogue in the Commonwealth.
Sandra Bornstein, Temple Day Trip Parshvanatha and Shantinatha Basadis
While my teaching experience provided new insights into cultural diversity and learning to deal with people who did not share the same educational philosophy, I longed for the companionship of my family. Contrary to the terms of my husband’s employment, he did not return to India after I started working at the international school. I lived in India by myself for almost an entire semester.
In order to survive this unexpected twist of fate, I relied on my inner strength. I faced each day head-on. When I returned to the US, I embraced my husband and children and accepted the fact that the core of my existence was my family. As long as I had my husband, my sons, and their wives by my side, any year could be the best year of my life.
Sandra Bornstein Bio: Sandra Bornstein, an international educator and writer, has taught K-12 students in the United States and abroad as well as college level courses at the University of Colorado and Front Range Community College. Sandra holds two master’s degrees- one in Education from the University of Colorado and another in Jewish Studies from Spertus College. While pursuing a master’s degree in Jewish Studies, Sandra Bornstein wrote Rose Haas Alschuler: A Chicago Woman’s Life of Service 1887-1979 and five biographical essays on American Jewish women. The essays were published in encyclopedias and later added to the Jewish Women’s Archives website.
In 2010, her husband’s international job created a unique opportunity to live abroad. In India, she fulfilled three passions – a desire to travel, a zeal for writing, and a love of teaching. Sandra’s Indian adventure became the backdrop for her book, May This Be the Best Year of Your Life: A Memoir. Watch Sandra’s video book trailer
Sandra currently lives in Colorado with her husband and their cat, Chloe. You can contact Sandra at info@sandrabornstein.com.
Join Sandra Bornstein on social media: Please visit Sandra’s website, join her on Twitter @Sandrabornstein, as well as Facebook and LinkedIn
Sonia Marsh Says:
I love your “gutsy” adventure to India, and find it interesting how people react to those who step out of the box by saying, “Have you lost your mind?” What an experience you had learning about a different culture, and way of life. A pity that your husband did not return to India as planned.
***
VOTING for your favorite January 2013 “My Gutsy Story®” started on January 31st, and ends on February 13th. You can read all 4 submissions here.
The winner will be announced on February 14th, Valentine’s Day. We have a new sponsor, Carolyn Howard-Johson, who is offering her e-book as a prize: The Frugal Editor.
Do you have a “My Gutsy Story®” you’d like to share?
NOW is the time to submit your “My Gutsy Story®” and get published in our Anthology. Please contact sonia@soniamarsh.com for details.
You can find all the information, and our sponsors on the “My Gutsy Story®” contest page. (VIDEO) Submission guidelines here
January 31, 2013
Vote for your favorite January “My Gutsy Story®”
This month we have 4 amazing “My Gutsy Story” submissions.
Please vote for your favorite story. You have until February 13th to vote, and the winner will be announced on February 14th. Yes Valentine’s Day.
SCROLL DOWN ON SIDEBAR TO VOTE. Only ONE vote each.
Our first story of the month is from Mary Gottshcalk
Mary wrote a memoir, Sailing Down the Moonbeam and is a true example of a “gutsy” woman who stepped out of the corporate world into a world where nature became her boss. This gave her clarity and made her realize what’s important in life.
Christine shared such an honest account of what it’s like to go through the various stages of cancer from detecting a lump, waiting for biopsy results, then surgery and chemotherapy. What I loved was her positive message, that made me realize that there are always lessons to be learned even the ones we fear the most.
You brought tears to our eyes with your coming-of-age memoir. As you said, you had a “gutsy” mother.
Linda, you transported us into your life as a child, a young woman and finally a mother yourself yearning all your life for your own mother’s love, approval and recognition. You forgave your mother at the end of her life, which makes your story so compelling.
***
VOTING for your favorite January 2013 “My Gutsy Story®” starts on January 31st, and ends on February 13th. The winner will be announced on February 14th, Valentine’s Day. We have a new sponsor, Carolyn Howard-Johson, who is offering her e-book as a prize: The Frugal Editor.
Sonia Marsh Interviewed by Elaine Masters
Elaine Masters interviews Sonia Marsh about her memoir Freeways to Flip-Flops: A Family’s Year of Gutsy Living on a Toprical Island.
Do you have a “My Gutsy Story®” you’d like to share?
NOW is the time to submit your “My Gutsy Story®” and get published in our Anthology. Please contact sonia@soniamarsh.com for details.
You can find all the information, and our sponsors on the “My Gutsy Story®” contest page. (VIDEO) Submission guidelines here
January 28, 2013
“My Gutsy Story®” Linda Joy Myers
I AM Your Daughter
I yearned for her all my life, couldn’t take no for an answer, used to the snaking line of her hose on the back of her legs as she jaunted toward the steaming train, the sharp edges of no and don’t get too close in her voice. All my life, I believed one day she’d wake up and see that I was a loveable daughter. One day she’d open her arms and welcome me into her heart.
When I was five we lived with her mother, my grandmother. One day, Mother announced that she was going back to Chicago without me. Through the years when I lived with her mother, Gram, in the middle of a fight mother would pack up her bag and run out the door to a cab.
A born peacemaker, I courted my mother’s approval. She’d given no signs of her disavowal of me until I was twenty, she visited once a year, but were her visits as much about seeing her mother, who had left her when she was six, as seeing me? Though Gram reclaimed mother after she remarried, they were always in conflict. After those abrupt endings that should have been happy reunions, Gram would sob, “Oh, my brown-eyed baby. Why can’t she just get along? Why can’t she…” Other times, Gram’s dark eyes stormed with rage at mother, long hours of diatribes against her. I didn’t know who to feel sorry for—Gram or mother. Or both.
I first visited my mother when I was twenty years old, having left Oklahoma to attend the University of Illinois. What a thrill it was to be in the city of my birth, the city my grandmother had moved to when she left Mother behind. Thrilled to be with her that first winter day, gasping against the wind, I rushed with mother to a jeweler’s where she traded antiques. On the way, she said, “Just wait for me and don’t talk.”
I knew that displeasing her could result in serious consequences, from being screamed at, torn down with criticism, or even slapped, so I nodded. For nearly an hour, miserably invisible, I hovered by the door at the end of the counter while mother flirted with the owner. Finally mother’s lilting voice, “You see that girl down there. That’s my daughter.”
Her hips swiveled and she flashed a flirty smile as he said, “That’s impossible, you’re not old enough to have a daughter that age.”
I straightened up, ready to be proudly introduced after all, only to shrink back when she whispered, “Oh, really?” pleased to be seen as so young, ignoring me for another half hour.
When we left, I found the courage to ask why she didn’t introduce me.
“I have my own life here, and no one knows I’ve been married. So of course I can’t have a daughter, can I? I don’t want you ruining things for me.”
As I shuffled behind her, ashamed, small, confused, I didn’t know that I’d spend the next thirty years trying to get her to change her mind. I’d bring my children to see her in Chicago only to have her shepherd us down the back halls of her hotel away from view. I was always excited to go to Chicago, always hopeful she’d be different.
One visit in particular was a tragic example of her attitude. Standing in the elevator of her hotel, she looked me up and down. “You look like me. I hope no one thinks you’re my daughter.” In stunned silence that she would say such a thing, I watched elevator buttons blink, almost gasping for breath, feeling stabbed in the stomach.
After another visit being shuffled through back hallways, my eleven-year-old son said to me, “Why do you bring us here when she doesn’t want us?” He was much smarter than me.
“We’re never coming back.” I resolved, my dream infusing with reality.
But I was too cowardly to confront her. Her irrational outbursts and violence frightened me too much to try. That night, I howled my rage and tears, knowing that my dream of being welcomed by my mother would never come true.
Four years later, after no contact, she called, terrified about a brain tumor and lung spot. Would I come? I flew out that day. We arrived at the hospital where a nurse checked her in. She glanced at Mother and then at me. “You must be her daughter,” she said to me.
“Yes,” I said, holding my breath. The nurse didn’t know mother’s crazy rules.
A beat, then a shriek, “Don’t tell them you’re my daughter!!”
The nurse froze, the woman in the next bed gasped. Calmly, I said, “Mother, you know I’m your daughter.”
Though I knew she was disturbed, and by now could see that she’d never stop denying me, I couldn’t prevent a tear rolling down my cheek.
Over those days I sat next to her hospital bed, the extent of her denial became even clearer: her attorney of fifteen years didn’t know I existed. On a day when friends were to visit, she told me,
“Come back in two hours. I don’t want questions about you.”
Stung, I shuttered myself as always, comforted by Van Gogh landscapes and Monet flowers at a nearby museum. On the way back, my rage built, along with shame at my own cowardice. I found her pacing, screaming accusations, criticisms; finally my silence broke: “Mother, you’ve denied me my whole life! I’m sick of it. I came here for you, left my children to be with you. I’m your daughter!!”
A small voice murmured, “When did I do that?”
I could have listed all the times she turned away, denied me, hurt me. But suddenly, beside me was a just a dying old woman. I put my arm around her. “It’s okay, Mother. It’s okay.”
In peace, we watched raindrops splash spring rain on the greening trees.
Linda Joy Myers: President of the National Association of Memoir Writers, & Co-President of the Women’s National Book Association, SF, is the author of The Power of Memoir—How to Write Your Healing Story, and a workbook The Journey of Memoir: The Three Stages of Memoir Writing. A new edition of her memoir Don’t Call Me Mother—A Daughter’s Journey from Abandonment to Forgiveness was released in January, 2013. She co-teaches the program Write your Memoir in Six Months with Brooke Warner. She coaches writers, and offers teleseminars and workshops nationally.
Linda has won prizes for fiction, memoir and poetry: First Prize, Jessamyn West Fiction Contest; Finalist, San Francisco Writing Contest for Secret Music, a novel about the Kindertransport; First Prize, poetry, East of Eden Contest, and First Prize Carol Landauer Life Writing Contest. www.namw.org. Blog: http://memoriesandmemoirs.com
Sonia Marsh Says: Linda, you transported me into your life as a child, a young woman and finally a mother yourself yearning all your life for your own mother’s love, approval and recognition. I felt your hurt and anger throughout your story and your ability to forgive makes your story so compelling. Thank you so much for sharing your story, and congratulations on your new edition of, Don’t Call Me Mother.
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Do you have a “My Gutsy Story®” you’d like to share?
NOW is the time to submit your “My Gutsy Story®” and get published in our Anthology. Please contact sonia@soniamarsh.com for details.
You can find all the information, and our sponsors on the “My Gutsy Story®” contest page. (VIDEO) Submission guidelines here
VOTING for your favorite January 2013 “My Gutsy Story®” starts on January 31st, and ends on February 13th. The winner will be announced on February 14th. We have a new sponsor, Carolyn Howard-Johson, who is offering her e-book as a prize: The Frugal Editor.
Please check out the following January “My Gutsy Story®”
Mary Gottschalk
Christine Lewry
Michael Jay
January 24, 2013
How Do I Sell My Book?
Sonia Marsh Book Event at Bank of Books in Ventura, California.
How do I sell my book? I want to make money now?
So you’re anxious to make money but acting desperate is not the way to sell books.
What if I told you that you should not focus on “making money” but on building relationships instead, would you think I’m crazy?
Just like finding the “right” guy—I’m speaking to the single ladies out there—acting desperate is a turn-off. You don’t want to beg and grovel, but you want to come across as proud and confident of your “product”. Oops, did I say, “product?”
So my first question to you is:
Are you proud of your book, I mean really proud? Is this a book you could pitch to the President of the United States, or the first lady with excitement and passion in your voice?
If your answer is “yes,” then I have good news for you:
When you have a great “product” and believe in your work, you can sell it, why? Because it will sell itself.
According to a panel of agents on Barbara DeMarco Barrett’s show “Writers on Writing,”
Indie-published authors have to set the bar higher than traditionally published authors. They have to go “high-end” with their book covers, and their book must be perfectly edited.
These agents pointed out the importance of having an amazing cover and that there are no excuses for a book cover that looks self-published.
I agree with the agents and outsourced my book cover and formatting to a professional company that specializes in book design. I’m proud to recommend 1106 Design.
Now you can move on to the following.
The key to sales is not just one thing, but a mixture of many, which I discovered in the The Frugal Book Promoter, by PR expert Carolyn-Howard Johnson
As she mentions in her book,
BIG WORRY NUMBER SIX: Fear of Marketing. The most pressing fear of all seems to be the fear of marketing.
Here is what I recommend for selling your book. Follow all 3 E’s
Enthusiasm
Effort
Entrepreneurship
We’ve all heard that “word of mouth” sells books, and I believe it starts with a grassroots approach. So how do you start?
The answer lies with connecting and caring about people, not just when your book is published, but long before that.
Develop friendships with:
famous authors
less famous authors
editors
agents
fellow writers
your local journalists (via social media)
publicists
bloggers
book store owners
and volunteer at your library, especially if they offer an author program
volunteer at writers associations
Marketing is about getting to know people and developing meaningful relationships.
The more people you get to know, the more you can tap into your contacts and ask about:
Speaking at various groups (libraries, networking groups)
Get sponsors for your book signings and maybe even your book tour
Ask your local coffee shops and other businesses if you can do book signings at their location.
Help promote other businesses at the same time as your own events
Helping others (for example giving a % of your book sales to libraries, to non-profits.)
Attending events that interest you so you can meet new people and get ideas
Contacting MeetUp groups online and asking if you can speak at their next meeting
Start talking to people while standing in line at the supermarket, post office, you never know if they are in a book club etc.
One easy way, is to strike up conversations with people you meet and tell them about your book. Now I don’t mean being obnoxious and saying, “I wrote a memoir and if you go to Amazon you’ll find it.”
I live in a suburban area, and bump into people I know at the supermarket, coffee shops and my gym. I’m good at remembering faces, even after twenty years or so.
The other day, I shopped at Trader Joe’s and bumped into a lady I remembered from somewhere. With a smile, I pushed my shopping cart towards her and said, “Hi, where do I know you from?”
“The gym,” she replies.
“I haven’t seen you in a while, do you still go?”
“I changed to the Aliso Viejo gym,” she said, “I like their cardio equipment there.”
“What about you?” she asks.
“I still workout at the same gym, but I’m so busy now since my book was published.”
From there on the conversation turns to my book, what it’s about, and she asks me where she can purchase it, I hand her a bookmark and my business card, and say, “My e-mail is on my card, and I’d love to hear what you think of it.”
I admit, it’s been helpful to get media coverage as people respond better when I tell them I was interviewed on the front page of the OC Register and how my book was labeled a “Hot Read” in OC Metro.
I then ask whether she belongs to a book club, and how I am going to a book club on Friday evening and have another one next week.
“I love answering questions, so please contact me and I shall be happy to come to your club.”
One final piece of advice
Be Patient.
Now if you know me, you’re laughing your head off as I tend to want things done right away. My husband jokes that I’m one of the most impatient people he knows.
Finally, you can always hire a PR person to do the work for you, but you still need to be enthusiastic and interact with your readers, often at public events if you want to sell books.
What has worked for you? Please share.
Do you have a “My Gutsy Story®” you’d like to share?
NOW is the time to submit your “My Gutsy Story®” and get published in our Anthology. Please contact sonia@soniamarsh.com for details.
You can find all the information, and our sponsors on the “My Gutsy Story®” contest page. (VIDEO) Submission guidelines here
VOTING for your favorite January 2013 “My Gutsy Story®” starts on January 31st, and ends on February 13th. The winner will be announced on February 14th. We have a new sponsor, Carolyn Howard-Johson, who is offering her e-book as a prize: The Frugal Editor.
Please check out the following January “My Gutsy Story®”
Mary Gottschalk
Christine Lewry
Michael Jay
Next Monday, we have Linda Joy Myers “My Gutsy Story®”
January 21, 2013
“My Gutsy Story®” Michael Jay
“Gut Wrenching Wonder”
Like a fast forgotten dog bone hidden in a corner of a yard, I was quick to bury my feelings of guilt and shame.
At the age of ten, I was one confused and befuddled boy after asking my dad if we could “pretty please get a puppy”.
He all but said beat it.
“I’m allergic to dogs. End of story.” He lied.
It broke my heart to hear him say that.
A year later, I learned the real meaning of heartbreak.
My mom sat me down in the kitchen.
“Have a seat. Let’s talk.”
I was certain she was going to tell me that my hard work in school had paid off and that we were going to get a doggie to call our own.
Already excited after a banner sixth-grade school day, I had sprinted all the way home.
Something good was about to happen.
I could feel it.
“You know no one can 100% predict the future, right?” She began.
“Uh-huh.”
“Well honey, I caught a glimpse of the future today when I went to the doctor.”
I smiled.
I was sure she was going to tell me that the doctor’s dog was about to have a litter of puppies.
I figured wrong.
“The doctor told me I don’t have long to live, buddy.”
“Huh?”
“Six months to a year, they figure. Perhaps a bit more.”
“Huh?”
I don’t even remember pressing myself into her.
I drenched her shoulder as she held me close to whisper.
“Listen up here. The way I see it, God is giving us a gift. It’s rare that He gives anyone time to prepare for their death, but it seems He is giving that gift to me. So let’s make the most of the time we have left together. Shall we?”
When my tears were spent, she planted a kiss on my head, then suggested I go outside and throw a ball around.
“I’ll call you when its time for dinner, buddy.”
Outside, the world spun around me.
I couldn’t even grip a baseball.
Days turned into weeks.
All the while, she took care to comfort my two brothers and my sister and me.
“At least you will always have your dad, long after I’m gone.” She promised.
Obsessing, I couldn’t help but wonder.
What good is it to have a dad if he won’t even let you have a dog?
Then it hit me.
Maybe God would make him change his mind now that our mom was dying?
Maybe that’s God’s plan.
I believed.
“His will be done.” I prayed.
Despite my father’s stubborn indifference to my request that our family get a doggie to call our own, I dropped to my knees every bedtime to try to strike a solemn bargain, praying harder than I had ever prayed in my life.
Night in and night out, I told God that I would endure anything – if only He could figure out a way to allow us to have a dog. Amen. Woof-woof. Bow-wow.
Meanwhile, our mom stayed true.
Knowing each morning could be her last, she took one day at a time to prepare us all for life on our own without her.
Months later in the first week of October, still battling her illness, her focus heightened when our dad dropped dead.
The Christmas that followed brought another surprise.
Our mom could not contain her excitement.
“Look, you guys. Look what Santa brought us!”
Finally, we had our puppy!
Uh-oh.
Dear Lord in Heaven.
Were those my prayers God answered?
What in the world have I done?
On this miraculous Christmas morning, it made me ache to wonder.
* * * *
Six short months later, birds were flying low beneath a darkening midday sky when I learned the sorry truth about what it means for a boy to man a shovel. And I thought math was hard.
Even my blisters wept that day.
“Hip dysplasia is not at all uncommon with large, popular purebreds from puppy mills.” The vet told us.
Had it not been for my mom standing nearby, I would never have managed.
Resting her wrists on my shoulders, she looked me in the eye. “Come on, Mikee. You dig. I’ll pray. I’m not going anywhere.”
She made me do it with those exact words.
In time, her insistence that day would prove to be a godsend; for had she been any less resolute, I would no doubt have remained forever unmindful of a much bigger truth that no one in the world could know.
My puppy isn’t all I buried on that tear-filled eighth-grade afternoon in June when I said good-bye to my beautiful Old English sheepdog, Duchess.
“Not bad for a first-timer with a shovel,” my mom offered, with a smile just right and a hug for good measure. “Hold onto your dear mother here, mister.”
Two simple graveside prayers later, she leaned into my shoulder to give my arm a loving squeeze.
“It’s ok to be sad, buddy,” she whispered, just as my tears came flooding.
Intended or not, with that lesson in closure behind me, I could feel my confidence grow.
And by the time my blisters callused, I had become all but certain I could handle just about anything life threw at me.
Until tonight.
My dad is dead. My puppy has been put down and buried. And now, my mom is lying lifeless on a heavy steel gurney in a dark lonely recess of the basement below.
I tried to settle by rolling onto my side to pull the covers tight.
It must be a dream.
Meet Joe Black visits The Wonder Years in the true story of DOG WATER FREE, a coming-of-age memoir about an improbable journey to find emotional truth that lands a dumbstruck orphan from the unlikely side of Detroit front and center before England’s Queen, America’s Maestro, and the first non-Italian Pontiff in more than 400 years.
Publisher: BookBaby Fall 2012.
______________________________________
Michael Jay’s Bio: Michael Jay grew up in Detroit where he attended Catholic Central High School with help from an anonymous benefactor. A graduate of Harvard College, he earned his MBA at Northeastern University in 1983. His coming-of-age memoir, DOG WATER FREE, is dedicated to his college roommate, Tom Wales, who plays a pivotal role in the story, and who many believe to be the only Federal Prosecutor in U.S. history to have been killed in the line of duty. Michael lives in Idaho. To read an excerpt from the true story of DOG WATER FREE please visit
You can connect with Michael Jay on Facebook here and check out his website.
DOG WATER FREE
An improbable true story about hope and faith and a young mother’s love that fosters a coming-of-age journey to find emotional truth. Now available at Amazon Kindle, Apple iTunes Books, Barnes & Noble Nook, WH Smith (UK)
and Kobo (worldwide). Also Available at www.Lovereading.co.uk
Sonia Marsh Says: Michael, what an incredible heartbreaking story. You mentioned, “I was quick to bury my feelings of guilt and shame,” and I can imagine what a unique, coming-of-age memoir you have to share with the world.
Do you have a “My Gutsy Story®” you’d like to share?
NOW is the time to submit your “My Gutsy Story®” and get published in our Anthology. Please contact sonia@soniamarsh.com for details.
You can find all the information, and our sponsors on the “My Gutsy Story®” contest page. (VIDEO) Submission guidelines here
VOTING for your favorite January 2013 “My Gutsy Story®” starts on January 31st, and ends on February 13th. The winner will be announced on February 14th. We have a new sponsor, Carolyn Howard-Johson, who is offering her e-book as a prize: The Frugal Editor.
Please check out the following January “My Gutsy Story®”
Mary Gottschalk
Christine Lewry
Next Monday, we have Linda Joy Myers “My Gutsy Story®”
