Sonia Marsh's Blog, page 34

My “Gutsy” Book Signing at WHSmith Paris

Sonia and Delphine at WHSmith Paris.

It seems insignificant to talk about my book signing after the senseless act of violence that took place on Friday, December 14th in Newtown, Connecticut.

I am speechless, and know that people around the whole world are feeling their sorrow.

***

Icy roads were predicted on Thursday, December 13th, the day of my WHSmith book signing in Paris. My dad and his wife, Jill, recommended we take the RER and metro to Paris. Thankfully, a light drizzle made the roads frost-free, and Catherine, Jill’s daughter, offered to drive all four of us to Rue de Rivoli, where the largest British bookstore in Paris is located.

L’Arc de Triomphe

It takes French guts to drive around L’Arc de Triomphe, where cars coming from your right side have the right of way. Multiply this by twelve: the number of roads leading to Place de L’Etoile, the focal point where the roads converge.

Avenue des Champs-Élysées

Avenue des Champs-Élysées is a world-famous street in Paris, known for its cafés, luxury specialty stores and “people-watching.” Several French monuments are also on the street, including the Arc de Triomphe at one end, and the Place de la Concorde at the other.

Parking is always a challenge in Paris, so at a red light, I jumped out of the car, grabbed my carry-on from the trunk, and rolled my books into the cozy store.

WHSmith has a cosmopolitan feel. Everyone who works there speaks English and French, and the feel was busy and exciting. My table was already set up with a poster on a metal stand announcing me as the guest author. Hannah, the marketing and events manager, greeted me and made me feel like a VIP. She asked me to show up early to make sure my book scanned correctly. Too scared to admit that it was indie published, I was terrified that it wouldn’t, and that my event would be canceled at the last minute.

Since  my bar code was from the U.S., with $14.95 as the cover price, Hannah converted the price to Euros. I was relieved when she returned from the cash register and informed me that everything scanned properly.

My first customer was a mom with a student studying at a university in San Diego. She wanted me to sign a copy for her daughter. I started talking to some customers in the store, never sure whether to start in English or in French. A couple of Americans living in Paris, chatted with me. One man told me he’d visited Caye Caulker, the beautiful small island known for being a backpackers haven next to Ambergris Caye where we lived for a year.

Another British woman said she knew about Belize because of McAfee on the news. At first I didn’t understand who she was talking about.  It’s strange how each country pronounces words differently. No wonder the British think I sound American, after 30 years in the U.S.

Many ex-colleagues from my father’s working days in Paris and Africa showed up to support me. It turned into a giant “party.”

Sonia and Hannah

Other photos from WHSmith below.

Jacques and Sonia

Grethe and Sonia

My father and a friend

If you’re an indie-authoor, I’d like to encourage you to call book stores and ask if you can do a book signing. You might be surprised where this will take you. A couple of months ago, I picked up the phone and called WHSmith, and was pleasantly surprised when they said, “yes,” after several e-mails. Good luck and please share your own stories.

DECEMBER IS DIFFERENT.

I’m in London today after leaving Paris yesterday. In a few days I return to California.

I am collecting new “My Gutsy Story” submissions for 2013.  NOW is the time to submit your own “My Gutsy Story” and get published in our Anthology. Please contact sonia@soniamarsh.com for details.

To submit your own, “My Gutsy Story” you can find all the information, and our sponsors on the “My Gutsy Story” contest page. (VIDEO) Submission guidelines here.

 

 

 

“My Gutsy Story” Winner, Paris Book Event + More

Today is special . Why?

We have a “My Gutsy Story” last-minute WINNER
I’m signing books at WH Smith in Paris from 5-7pm tonight
Madeline Sharples, a good friend and memoir author from Manhattan Beach, is hosting me on her blog today.

As many of you know, I’m in Paris and due to the time difference (9 hours ahead of California,) I’m watching the last-minute voting.

Jerry Waxler is the WINNER of the November “My Gutsy Story.”

Congratulations Jerry. This was a very close call with 2nd place winner Susan Weidener.

 

Jerry Waxler

Jerry Waxler

 Sonia Marsh Says: “I am on board with your global vision of sharing our stories and breaking down barriers through a Memoir Revolution.”

 

 Susan Weidener won 2nd place. This was such a close race, and I want to congratulate you Susan for your inspiring “My Gutsy Story.”

Susan Weidener

Susan Weidener

 Sonia Marsh Says: What an inspiring story of courage and re-inventing yourself after the loss of the man you loved. I am sure your memoir can help us feel “energized” and motivated to follow our passion, just as you did.

Jerry Holl: won 3rd Place.

Jerry Holl

 

Jerry Holl

Sonia Marsh Says: This is really a true example of a “My Gutsy Story,” Jerry. You did what so many long to do: quit their corporate job, and take off to follow an adventure or a passion.

Elaine Masters: Your story was amazing.

Elaine Masters

Sonia Marsh says: “You prove something that I am a firm believer of: getting away from the familiar, getting out of your comfort zone to an unfamiliar environment helps you grow and strengthens you as a person.”

 

DECEMBER IS DIFFERENT.

I am posting from Paris this week. I plan to share stories and photos, from Paris and London, where I am doing an event at WHSmith on December 13th.

I am collecting new “My Gutsy Story” submissions for 2013.  NOW is the time to submit your own “My Gutsy Story” and get published in our Anthology. Please contact sonia@soniamarsh.com for details.

To submit your own, “My Gutsy Story” you can find all the information, and our sponsors on the “My Gutsy Story” contest page. (VIDEO) Submission guidelines here.

 

Are French Movies More Gutsy in Tackling Sensitive Issues?

 

Sonia at LAX

Passengers are sleeping, coughing and sneezing around me. I’m hoping the plane’s ventilation system isn’t spreading the germs to my area. This is not a time to get sick, not when I’m doing my first book signing in Paris.

I’m writing this blog post at 35,000 feet over Kansas City, traveling at a speed of 699 miles per hour.  We have 7:52  hours left until we reach Charles de Gaulle airport and most of the passengers are asleep, after a choice of Moroccan chicken or Boeuf Bourguinon for lunch. The flight takes 11 hours from Los Angles to Paris, and I enjoy flying on Air Tahiti Nui, where the flight attendants wear Tahitian dresses with a flower in their hair.

Sonia on Air Tahiti Nui from LAX to CDG (Paris)

I’m comfortable in my aisle seat watching a French movie, Mince Alors!, with its double entendre title: Becoming Thin, and What a bummer! The theme is about the stigma attached to being overweight in France, (a big no-no) and is tackled in typical, outspoken French style.

I’ve always been fascinated by the cultural differences between the French and the British, and enjoy the posts written by my French blogger friend, Muriel Demarcus, who is so adept at pointing these out with humor. I take it one step further and compare the French way of addressing certain issues with the American way. Even if you don’t understand French, I’m sure you’ll get the gist of the movie trailer below.

Nina, a 30-year-old wife, accepts to enroll in a one-month weight loss program in the French Alps, a gift offered by her French husband. Nina works in a modeling agency alongside her husband and is by French standards overweight. Her suave husband, with an eye for other women, hands her a gift certificate to attend a weight loss farm, while he takes off to Munich with his skinny assistant.

“You’ll have time since we’re not busy at work right now,” he says, handing her the certificate.

When Nina has her first appointment with the doctor at the health clinic, she says, “My husband likes skinny women, make me skinny doctor.”

“I want you to be healthy, and to loose weight for yourself, not for someone else,” the doctor replies.

“I don’t have time; I’m here to get results. I don’t care what you do, but I want results.”

I watched the movie in French to brush up on my conversational skills, and to immerse myself in the French way of life. There were certain scenes that made me  squirm, such as when Nina says she has about five kilos to loose, and her mother-in-law says, “more like 20 kilos.”

I’m not a psychologist, just a curious woman who happens to have lived half her life in Europe, and the other half in the U.S. Although France and the U.S. are both multi-cultural, I do believe it’s possible to identify specific traits relevant to each country.

Take for example young children. I noticed immediately how the French tend to dress their young children as mini-adults, with stylish coats, belts and hats, whereas Americans dress their toddlers as toddlers. Who knows, that might be because I live in southern California, which is more casual than perhaps New York.

In her book, Why French Parents Are Superior, author Pamela Druckerman  wrote:

“French toddlers were sitting contentedly in their high chairs, waiting for their food, or eating fish and even vegetables. There was no shrieking or whining. And there was no debris around their tables.”

Druckerman’s statement hit home when a few weeks ago I was standing in line at Peet’s coffee where I noticed a mom and her twin toddlers sitting at a table sharing a muffin. Chunks of muffin went flying, as the twins practiced tossing them, and when she left, the tile resembled a muffin war zone. Did the mother pick up the mess? No.

Druckerman writes,

“Why was it, for example, that in the hundreds of hours I’d clocked at French playgrounds, I’d never seen a child (except my own) throw a temper tantrum? Why didn’t my French friends ever need to rush off the phone because their kids were demanding something? Why hadn’t their living rooms been taken over by teepees and toy kitchens, the way ours had?”

Yes, I do like comparisons, purely from an interest point of view. Debra Ollivier, another author who spends her time in the U.S and France wrote, What French Women Know. I had an opportunity to meet her and read her book.

So, yes,  I do believe that French movies are more gutsy in tackling sensitive issues than American movies, and I think it’s different and refreshing.

 

DECEMBER IS DIFFERENT.

I shall be posting from Paris this week. I plan to share stories and photos, from Paris and London, where I am doing an event on December 13th.

I am collecting new “My Gutsy Story” submissions for 2013.  NOW is the time to submit your own “My Gutsy Story” and get published in our Anthology. Please contact sonia@soniamarsh.com for details.

To submit your own, “My Gutsy Story” you can find all the information, and our sponsors on the “My Gutsy Story” contest page. (VIDEO) Submission guidelines here.

Thanks and don’t forget to VOTE for your favorite November “My Gutsy Story” on the sidebar. The WINNER will be announced on December 13th.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Jet-lagged today. More tomorrow

My Dad

I came to Paris to spend time with my 87-year-old dad and his wife Jill.  I am too tired to write my post, so all you get to see are photos. More tomorrow.

 

 

 

Interview with Memoir Author Madeline Sharples

Madeline Sharples

It’s my pleasure to introduce you to a fellow memoir author friend, Madeline Sharples, who wrote: Leaving the Hall Light On: A Mother’s Memoir of Living with Her Son’s Bipolar Disorder and Surviving His Suicide.

Madeline is on her virtual book tour, and I had the pleasure of becoming her friend and meeting her in person, at her home in Manhattan Beach, as well as at the Hollywood Book Fair.  I wrote a review of her book on Amazon and Goodreads, and decided to ask her a few questions which intrigued me about her honest memoir. But first, a brief synopsis of her memoir.

 

Leaving the Hall Light On: A Mother’s Memoir of Living with Her Son’s Bipolar Disorder and Surviving His Suicide charts the near-destruction of one middle-class family whose oldest son committed suicide after a seven-year struggle with bipolar disorder. Author Madeline Sharples goes deep into her own well of grief to describe her anger, frustration and guilt. She also shares the story of how she, her husband and younger son weathered every family’s worst nightmare—including struggles with her own thoughts of suicide, and ultimately, her decision to live and take care of herself as a woman, wife, mother and writer.

“A moving read of tragedy, trying to prevent it, and coping with life after.” Midwest Book Review
“Poetically visceral, emotionally honest.” Irvin D. Godofsky, M.D.
“Moving, intimate and very inspiring.” Mark Shelmerdine, CEO, Jeffers Press

My Questions and Madeline’s Answers:

1.       What were the warning signs when your son first began to experience symptoms of bipolar disorder? (Anything at all happen during childhood that was different?)

Just before his first manic break in February 1993, he had traveled from New York where he was attending college at the New School to attend my mother’s 85th birthday celebration. I have a wonderful photo of him playing Happy Birthday on the piano with her sitting beside him. He was perfectly normal. He was calm, loving. He talked easily to everyone and readily smiled as he posed for a photo with his brother and cousins. For the two nights he was with us, he slept easily in his childhood bedroom, and kissed and hugged me when I said goodbye to him at the airport.

Two weeks later he was calling us up every few minutes, writing all over his apartment walls with a blue felt-tipped marker, and saying people were lurking in doorways out to get him and poisoning his food and cigarettes. His clothes were strewn all over the place, his dishes were stacked up—all behaviors so foreign to the orderly and neat guy he normally was. Most important, he was a jazz musician no longer able to sit still long enough at the piano to play a song through from the beginning to end.

In those two weeks after he returned to New York City, he played three successive gigs with some older musicians in Brooklyn, rather than with his own group, and had not slept for at least two nights in a row. He also drank heavily during these performances. So it is possible that this burgeoning jazzman lifestyle of little sleep, little food, and lots of booze sent Paul over the edge. He was also so affected by the news of the heroin-overdose death of one of his classmates he became unintelligible and had to be taken from his school to the hospital.

Paul was born with his third and fourth fingers connected on both hands. And because he was trying to separate them himself, we decided to have hand surgery performed just after he turned two. He had a scary time in the recovery room and had to wear casts that looked like boxing gloves for ten days afterward. As a result he had to quit sucking those fingers cold turkey. A few other events when he was two come to mind: we moved, his brother was born, and his beloved grandfather became very ill with cancer so he couldn’t play with him anymore. Later on in Paul’s teens he had an affair with a much older woman. I think the effect of that affair might have been a factor in how he related to women afterward.

2.       How do you give support and comfort to a person who doesn’t want support or comfort?

We were in a hopeless situation. Because Paul was an adult child, we had no control. We couldn’t help him unless he let us. We felt like our hands were tied behind our backs—and by him. Paul was the driver—it was all up to him. We were out of touch and out of control at his choosing. All we could do was hope for the best, that somehow he would integrate what everyone had been telling him for so long—that his survival and recovery were up to him.

At the same time we concluded no matter what, he was our son and our responsibility. We would never turn him out into the streets. No matter how painful it was being with him, having him living with us, experiencing the effects of his illness on him and our family, we would take care of him for as long as he needed us to.

3.       How did you maintain your sanity (during) and after your son’s suicide?

A long list of things helped: friends and family, getting back on my exercise program, pampering myself, writing in my journal and taking writing workshops, attending the Survivors After Suicide meetings at the Didi Hirsch Mental Health Services organization, finding a job outside my home, and being respectful of each other as a family. We stuck together as a family, we moved through our grief in our own way and in our own time, and we came out the other side as a family closer than ever before.

4.     Did your marriage suffer as a result of your son’s bipolar disorder and suicide? So many couples end up divorcing, you didn’t how did you manage that strength between you?

At first we had a hard time just being together because our grieving methods and coping mechanisms were so different. My husband would keep saying that I needed therapy. To spite him, I wouldn’t go. That is the truth of it. He was afraid I was having a breakdown; I was afraid he was drowning his pain and anger in alcohol.

Yet, I think the main reason we survived Paul’s death at all was because of the strength of our marriage.

According to Bob, our marriage survived by a combination of my persistent drive to deal with the pain, suffering, and loss, and his willingness to wait until I got better. We realized early on that our grieving processes were different, so we were patient with each other about that. We also give each other a lot of space. We respect each other. We both are good at what we do professionally so there’s no competition or jealousy there. We have no reason to put each other down. We don’t get into arguments about the small stuff or let the small stuff get in our way. We’ve lived through too much big stuff to let that happen.

This love has also been the glue that has kept us together—a glue stronger than the trauma of Paul’s death. It was enough to help us in the most trying of times that a couple could ever go through. Plus neither of us has any other place to go. We’re together in it for the long haul—richer, poorer, sickness, health, and a son’s death.

5.       What can a person do to help and comfort a family that has experienced a suicide or other tragedy? What is the best approach when you speak to a mom who has gone through what you went through?

I don’t know if this is the best approach, but here is what I would suggest. Of course offer condolences, and explain that even though we have both been through this experience, I would have no way of knowing how you feel. Everyone grieves in her own way and for however long it takes. Everyone has a different reaction to what comes her way. I would make sure the mother has permission to grieve – to cry, to laugh, to do what it takes to express her emotions. I would also suggest taking good care of herself – get some exercise, eat healthy, get pampered, buy a new dress, go to work, find a creative outlet. Looking good will help you to feel good. And even if you don’t feel good, pretend. Pretty soon you won’t have pretend.

Also, feel free to reject everything I’ve suggested. These are things that helped me, but that doesn’t mean they’ll work for you.

And, most important, I would tell her to not let anyone tell her how long or how to grieve. So many people told me it’s time to move on already. But what did they know? Grief is so personal it must be respected and allowed to run its true course.

6.       How did your elder son’s illness and suicide affect your thoughts toward your younger son? Did Ben ever feel left out and not as loved?

It’s all about Ben now. He was my younger son. Now he’s my only son, the person I worry about the most. I think of all the disasters that could happen whenever he travels—by car, by plane, and even on foot. On days when I fear he is in danger, my heart and gut react more than ever. Now I try to hide my worries about him as best I can. After all, he is a grown up and has a wife to worry about him now. But still….

Some time ago I wrote that Ben is the reason I chose to live when I was most despondent after Paul died. That is still true. There is nothing I wouldn’t give him or do for him. Even before Paul died that was so. He and I spent so much time together as he was growing up. I was his first tennis teacher and warm-up partner, and I took him to all the tennis tournaments he competed in from the time he was seven until he graduated from high school. I worked with him on his tennis attitude such that he had a reputation for being the “Iceman” on the courts. I helped him through his losses, his nervousness before a match, his strategizing, and his triumphs.

Now I am the champion of his career. He comes to me for advice and I readily give it. He comes to me for editorial suggestions on the scripts he writes. And even though he doesn’t come to me for monetary help anymore, I would still readily give that to him too.

I don’t think Ben felt left out or not as loved during Paul’s illness or after his death. However, he had a hard time believing the behavior Paul displayed during his manic episodes were a result of his illness and not just his moodiness. So Ben stayed away a lot during those years. He just didn’t like being around his brother whom he loved very much after Paul got sick.

Sonia’s Extra Questions:

a) As a mom who has an 18-year-old son joining the Army and wanting to fight in a war, what advice do you have for us:

Not to fear the worst.

I think I can understand your fear. I have that fear about losing Ben even though there is no chance of his going into the military now because he’s too old. However, the thought of my child in danger of any kind brings out my worst fears. Of course, Ben thinks I’m silly, but I tell him I’m a mother, and that’s what mother’s do. Mothers worry.

b). What do you think is different for a mom who looses a child who is killed at war, than one who commits suicide?

Even though one could rationalize that one died while serving his country and the other died for naught, I think a mother will suffer from the death of her son no matter how it happened. Losing a child, not the way the child died, is the

Author’s Bio:

Madeline Sharples is an author, poet, and web journalist who spent most of her professional life as a technical writer and editor, grant writer and proposal manager. Through the tragedy of her son’s mental illness and suicide, she has become a thought-provoking expert on the affects of mental illness and suicide on family members—and, more important, on how to keep the surviving members of your family together and move forward in the aftermath of tragedy.

Madeline Sharples studied journalism in high school and college and wrote for the high school newspaper, but only started to fulfill her dream to work as a creative writer and journalist late in life. Her memoir, Leaving the Hall Light On: A Mother’s Memoir of Living with Her Son’s Bipolar Disorder and Surviving His Suicide, was released in a hardback edition in 2011 and has just been released in paperback and eBook editions by Dream of Things. It tells the steps she took in living with the loss of her oldest son, first and foremost that she chose to live and take care of herself as a woman, wife, mother, and writer. She hopes that her story will inspire others to find ways to survive their own tragic experiences.

She also co-authored Blue-Collar Women: Trailblazing Women Take on Men-Only Jobs (New Horizon Press, 1994), co-edited the poetry anthology, The Great American Poetry Show, Volumes 1 and 2, and wrote the poems for two photography books, The Emerging Goddess and Intimacy (Paul Blieden, photographer). Her poems have also appeared online and in print magazines.

Madeline’s articles appear regularly in the Naturally Savvy, PsychAlive, Aging Bodies, and Open to Hope. She also posts at her blogs, Choices and at Red Room and is currently writing a novel.  Madeline’s mission since the death of her son is to raise awareness, educate, and erase the stigma of mental illness and suicide in hopes of saving lives.

Madeline and her husband of forty plus years live in Manhattan Beach, California, a small beach community south of Los Angeles. Her younger son Ben lives in Santa Monica, California with his wife Marissa.

You can purchase Madeline’s memoir here at Red Room ,  Amazon or Dream of Things

Take a look at Madeline’s moving book trailer.

Join Madeline on Facebook and Twitter:@madeline40

Madeline blogs here and here, and also has her website.

I hope you read Madeline Sharples memoir, and thank her for answering all my questions. Please leave your comments for Madeline below.

 DECEMBER IS DIFFERENT.

Next Monday, December 10th, I shall be posting from Paris. I plan to share stories and photos, from Paris and London, where I am doing an event on December 13th.

I am collecting new “My Gutsy Story” submissions for 2013.  NOW is the time to submit your own “My Gutsy Story” and get published in our Anthology. Please contact sonia@soniamarsh.com for details.

To submit your own, “My Gutsy Story” you can find all the information, and our sponsors on the “My Gutsy Story” contest page. (VIDEO) Submission guidelines here.

Thanks and don’t forget to VOTE for your favorite November “My Gutsy Story” on the sidebar.

 

11 things you don’t know about me.

This month I want to do something more personal.  What would you like me to share with you? Something about travel? (I’m leaving for Paris WH Smith Event and London next week,) writing, marketing, my events, etc. Please leave your comment below. It will help me decide what interests you.

December is a great month to write your “My Gutsy Story.”  I hope you consider submitting yours. We all need motivation, especially at the start of a New Year. I’ve attached the information at the bottom of this post.

My online friend, Doreen Cox, nominated me for The Liebster Award (Click her name to read Dody’s post.) You can also read Doreen’s “My Gutsy Story.”

The rules are:
1. When you receive the award nomination, post 11 random facts about yourself and answer the 11 questions asked by the person who nominated you.

2. Pass the award onto 11 other blogs (while making sure you notify the blogger that they have been nominated!)

3. Write up 11 NEW questions directed towards YOUR nominees.

4. Of course, do not nominate the blog of the one who nominated your blog!

5. Paste the award picture onto your blog. (You can Google the image; there are plenty of them!)

Here goes! 11 random things to know about me:

1. I hated reading as a child, and English language, English Literature and History, were my least favorite subjects. (Shocking! Considering all writers love to read, love literature and most love history.
2. I was born with a black mohawk.

3. I lived in Nigeria as a child, and my best friend, Adama, was raped soon after my family left Nigeria in 1963.  She was only 12, when she became a mom. I never heard from her again.
4. I am an only child. My mother and I were very close. She died at 57, before I moved to the U.S. I wish she had known my husband and children. She was a Kindergarten teacher and excellent at connecting with children

5. I made an impromptu speech in front of my class, at the English School of  Paris at age 13. My classmates snickered, and did not vote for me. That  traumatic incident impacted me for life, and I decided to overcome my fear of public speaking.

6. I left home at 14 to attend boarding school in the U.K. It was my own decision as I wanted to take subjects in high school that weren’t offered at my school in Paris.
7. I always wanted to become a pilot, but my eyesight was terrible. I considered joining the RAF (Royal Air Force) as an air traffic controller, but did not fit in with the strict rules.
8. I studied “Computer Science” in college, but was hopeless at it, so I transferred to “Environmental Science.”  After that, I started a Masters degree in “European Studies,” at Reading University in the U.K., but disliked the “history” part, as I was more interested in contemporary topics. I’m sorry to admit this, but it’s the truth,  so I quit, and got a research job at the University of Strathclyde in Glasgow, Scotland for one year.
9. I rarely feel settled. My mind is always thinking of the next place I want to visit or live in, or country I want to see. I don’t know if I will change as I grow older, but I’ve always been this way.
10. I am married to a “quiet” man. This may explain why I like networking and meeting people, as I cannot keep my mouth shut for long periods of time.
11. I’m a Virgo, supposedly a “perfectionist,” however, I view myself as disorganized. I work better under deadlines.

Here are the answers to the questions asked of me by Dody:

1. What is the first book that you can remember reading?

The Noddy series by Enid Blyton.

2. Did you ever have a nickname?

SØS. No not SOS, by my mother.

Snookie by Duke, my husband.

3. What is the most favorite thing that you did when a kid?

Spending the day swimming with Lilian, my best Danish childhood friend. Eating Danish pastries after we swam in the morning.

4. What is your favorite thing to do in the summer?

Travel and swim and snorkel in Caribbean warm waters.

5. Do you have an unusual or interesting habit?

I really like boysenberry jam on sharp cheddar cheese, on a slice of whole grainy brown bread.

6. If you could have a chat with someone you do not know, who would this be?

Jane Goodall

Jane Goodall. I love “Gutsy” women who are older and wiser. I would like to ask her to be a part of the “My Gutsy Story” event I so want to put together in 2013.

7. Describe your ideal bookcase.

Memoirs and travel stories.

8. What is your favorite spot in which to read?

I can’t read for long periods at a time, so on the bike at the gym, or when I walk my dog.

9. What is the most interesting vacation you’ve ever had?

On a safari in Kenya and Tanzania with my kids aged 6 and 9. The youngest was only 2, and stayed in the U.S.

10. Do you have a bucket list? Share one with us.

Take a Spanish immersion class and live with a host family in Panama.
Teach English in a totally foreign country where the locals are friendly and receptive to learning. Where should I go? Any ideas welcome?
Travel to Australia, and do a house swap or house-sit for 6 months.
Do 27 months of Peace Corps work.
Live in Naples, FL, for a while.
Start a Baby-Boomer movement of “Gutsy people.”
Always learn from other people.

11. Complete the sentence: “I wish... I knew how to fly a small Cessna. I wish I had nursing skills so I could work and volunteer in any country in the world. I wish I’d become an author and motivational speaker in my 30′s.

***

Because I am a curious person, I wanted to learn more about a few people whose blogs I enjoy: Belinda Nicoll, Miss Footloose, Annabel Candy, Barbara Hammond, Muriel Demarcus, Laura Dennis, Rebecca Hall, Stephanie Dagg, Kelli Norgaard, Lois Joy Hofmann, Jennifer Fink

Here are my questions to you.

1. What is your biggest accomplishment so far in your life?

2. Where did you first meet your spouse (if applicable)?

3. How do you see yourself at 80?

4. What do you hope to accomplish in the next 5 years.

5. What is your biggest fear in life and why?

6. Are you a Gutsy woman? In what way?

7. Where do you see yourself living when you retire?

8. Do you regret any decisions you’ve made in your life?

9. Is there a profession you would pick today if you could start over? Which one and why?

10. What are you looking forward to in 2013?

11. How do you stay motivated?

I do hope that your busy schedules can allow time for your acceptance of this award!

Do you have a “My Gutsy Story” you’d like to share?
DECEMBER will be DIFFERENT.

I shall be leaving for Paris and London, and plan to share stories, photos, and other posts during this month on my blog.

I am collecting new “My Gutsy Story” submissions for 2013.  NOW is the time to submit your own “My Gutsy Story” and get published in our Anthology. Please contact sonia@soniamarsh.com for details.

To submit your own, “My Gutsy Story” you can find all the information, and our sponsors on the “My Gutsy Story” contest page. (VIDEO) Submission guidelines here.

Thanks and don’t forget to VOTE on the sidebar.

 

Vote for your favorite November “My Gutsy Story”

 

This month he have 4 amazing “My Gutsy Story” submissions.

Please vote for your favorite story. You have until December 12th to vote, and the winner will be announced on December 13th from Paris where I shall be doing a book signing at WH Smith.

 

SCROLL DOWN ON SIDEBAR TO VOTE. Only ONE vote each.

Jerry Waxler  shared “My Search Led Me to Story,” and his global vision of sharing our stories and breaking down barriers through a Memoir Revolution.

Jerry Waxler

Elaine Masters shared her story about “Answering the Call” where she got the strength and courage to leave your “unhappy” marriage and find a new life.

Elaine Masters

Susan Weidener: shared “Taking a Risk on Love,” a story of courage and re-inventing herself after the loss of the man  she loved, and how she was able to start a new life.

Susan Weidener

Jerry Holl: An amazing “My Gutsy Story” about one man, one bike and one tent. Jerry quit his job at 57 to experience a life-changing adventure.

 

Jerry Holl

 

Do you have a “My Gutsy Story” you’d like to share?
DECEMBER will be DIFFERENT.

I shall be leaving for Paris and London, and plan to share stories, photos, and other posts during this month on my blog.

I am collecting new “My Gutsy Story” submissions for 2013.  NOW is the time to submit your own “My Gutsy Story” and get published in our Anthology. Please contact sonia@soniamarsh.com for details.

To submit your own, “My Gutsy Story” you can find all the information, and our sponsors on the “My Gutsy Story” contest page. (VIDEO) Submission guidelines here.

Thanks and don’t forget to VOTE on the sidebar.

 

“My Gutsy Story” Jerry Holl

 

One Man. One Bike. One Tent.

June 20, 2012 — August 9, 2012 — Alaska to Mexico — 3634 miles — 50 days

“Are you bringing a gun?”

“What in the world would compel you to do this?”

“Are you insane?”

“You’re going alone?”

“My husband and I have talked about this ….we think you’re too over-confident!”

“My buddies and I think you’re nuts …you have bigger ‘stones’ than any of us!”

These are some of the comments I was getting in the days leading up to me climbing on

my flight…

On Tuesday, June 19, 2012, the Delta Airlines morning flight was nonstop from Minneapolis, MN to Anchorage, AK. In the hold of the jet was my brand new bicycle ….a ‘Surly — Long Haul Trucker’ ….I liked the name because it described what I was about to do. I was fortunate to have a window seat and the weather was crystal clear …for the last 3 hours of the flight, I was looking down at heavily glaciated mountain wilderness. Do the math …3+ hours at 500+ mph is greater than 1500 miles just in this segment of the trip alone …and from 35,000 feet, there was no sign of civilization. I had a subtle laugh looking out into the remote distance as the visual became so real …’I have to ride through this …and it’s only a portion of the trip …what in the world am I thinking … what did I sign up for’? It was a strange, yet exhilarating feeling as I rode out of Anchorage …and into complete wilderness the next morning.

For the last several years, I would look out my office window ….and dream ….dream of being outside …dream of the natural world …dream of big, hairy, audacious adventures. My upbringing instilled in me a sense of wonder of what is over the horizon. So …I have always loved travel and adventure …and I would read the stories of others who escaped to pursue those dreams …they dared to do the unusual …and they had the guts to quit talking about it and just do it. I’d feel a great sense of jealousy.

Professionally, I felt completely stale as an institutional stockbroker …the office felt lifedraining …and I was determined to feel ALIVE again. Like a rocket needs critical thrust to break the bonds of gravity, I needed to escape this constraining environment and break the bonds of my professional career. I knew that I just didn’t need to change professions …I needed adventure. And, the adventure couldn’t just be a ‘week off’ type of vacation. I needed to do something so strikingly different, and a huge stretch …one that required constant perseverance even when I might not want to continue. I wanted the adventure to be remote, gruelingly physical, have breathtaking beauty, and I wanted to do it completely alone.

I have strong confidence in my abilities, but I wanted to know what the struggles against my limitations might be. Through this type of journey, I instinctively knew that I couldn’t help but grow, have great experiences, and I knew it would be life changing. If not now …when? At 57, I knew I wasn’t getting younger and my friends were starting to encounter medical problems. My family was completely supportive, so in May 2012, I resigned and determined this was the time for the test. I hadn’t contemplated or planned what my adventure might be …but I went into high gear and quickly decided that I would ride a bicycle from Alaska to Mexico …one man, one bike, one tent. I’ve never been a big cyclist. Prior to this trip, I hadn’t biked beyond 20 – 30 miles in a day …and had never ridden a bike loaded with gear until the very morning I peddled out of Anchorage. I didn’t train specifically for this type of adventure …but had always maintained decent conditioning. I just simply felt that if I wasn’t in shape for the trip …I would ride myself into shape along the way.

Adventures like these are rife with uncertainty. You better be comfortable with your decision making in the face of the unknown …each day I would wake up not knowing what the day might bring. You are totally living in the present. The numerous variables you constantly weigh throughout each day include; your physical condition, mental condition, wild animals (I encountered 19 bears, 2 moose), weather, headwinds / tailwinds, mountainous terrain, mechanical breakdowns, bike-shop locations, food and supply locations, campsites or lack of, traffic, road conditions (shoulders or not), and time of day …whether to proceed or stop. The decision points …and decision making was tremendously interesting. This journey greatly reinforced and furthered my desire to actively live life …to not just bumble along and let it randomly happen. The numerous lessons I experienced are now even more acutely clear …and on many levels. People along the way were nothing but great …they were conscious of my exposure, and would do anything to try to help …and they loved that I was actually doing what most people just preach or dream …their enthusiasm fueled my soul.

I passed this mama grizzly and cubs within 30 feet.

I returned to Alaska in early November, 2012 and went back to the F Street Station Bar and Grill. The bartender, Tiffany Pulver, was on duty the night of June 19, 2012 when she overheard my conversation at that time with locals explaining what I was about to do. On November 9, 2012, I returned to the bar and she looked at me and said “I remember you, I just didn’t believe you.”

Please join me on the ride and read my day to day stories, decisions faced, and people encounters at www.goingcommandoblog.wordpress.com

A two minute YouTube video of this story was put together by a University of Minnesota

journalism student named Andrew Christina …here’s the link:

Jerry Holl Bio:

Jerry Holl lives in Tonka Bay, Minnesota with his wife Suzanne. They have 3 grown children. He worked in the corporate world for 33 years for several companies in sales, marketing and executive management roles. He likes to travel and be active in the outdoor world and likes a variety of activities including; scuba, downhill and cross country skiing, has climbed Mt. Rainier, Mt Baker and several 14ers in Colorado, likes a variety of water sports, canoe trips, whitewater rafting, backpacking, has skydived, has hitchhiked across North America, has motorcycled much of America and Canada, has run with the bulls in Spain …and most recently has bicycled solo from Alaska to Mexico.

He went to the University of Minnesota and graduated in 1976 from the Institute of Technology with a Bachelor of Geological Engineering and also received an MBA from the University of Minnesota’s Business School in 1978.

Jerry Holl is on Twitter @jerry_holl and you can e-mail him here: holljerry@gmail.com

Sonia Marsh Says: This is really a true example of a “My Gutsy Story,” Jerry. You did what so many men long to do: quit their corporate job, or “cubicle job” as my hero, Chris Guillebeau talks about to his tribe of non-conformists. Of course there are many women as well who seek adventure in their lives. I can’t wait to read your book when you’re ready, and hear about your future adventures.

Please leave your comments for Jerry below. He will be over to respond. Thank you to all who follow the series.

NEWS ABOUT DECEMBER

I shall be in Paris at a book signing on December 13th, 5-7 pm, at WH Smith (scroll down on their website)  as well as visiting family and friends in Paris and London. (ANY SUGGESTIONS? WHAT ARE YOU INTERESTED IN? LET ME KNOW IN YOUR COMMENTS BELOW OR E-MAIL ME AT Sonia@soniamarsh.com)

Since we are all busy during the holidays, I shall post stories and photos from Europe during the month of December, and hope you take some time to write and submit your “My Gutsy Story.” Be the first one on January 7th 2013. Thank you.

***

We have started our November “My Gutsy Story” series with Jerry Waxler and Elaine Masters,   Susan Weidener

 

Do you have a “My Gutsy Story” you’d like to share?

NOW is the time to submit your “My Gutsy Story” and get published in our Anthology. Please contact sonia@soniamarsh.com for details.

You can find all the information, and our sponsors on the “My Gutsy Story” contest page. (VIDEO) Submission guidelines here

 

Thanksgiving in Southern California

Sonia in the jacuzzi on November 21st 2012

 

I am grateful to all the people who make my life special.

To my family, to all the “My Gutsy Story” writers who have become my friends, to writers and readers and all the people I meet who make life interesting.

Thanks to all of you and have a wonderful Thanksgiving Day.

The weather is beautiful in southern California, and sometimes it’s difficult to feel the Christmas Season approaching.

I look forward to  my trip to Paris and London in December, where I know I shall get some winter weather.

Love and Happiness to all of you.

Sonia

 

 

“My Gutsy Story” by Susan Weidener

Taking a Risk On Love

As a reporter most of my working life, I interviewed countless people. I became quite good at standing back, observing and then writing about the pain and heartbreak, the triumphs and tragedies, the challenges and defeats of other people.

A big daily newspaper like The Philadelphia Inquirer provided a window into life’s diversity and no two days were alike.   By its very nature, journalism requires you stay objective, put your prejudices aside, stand back and observe.  In some ways, my personal life reflected my professional one. Since my husband’s death, I had stood back, observed my own life with a certain detachment.

My stories at the newspaper ran the gamut. The young couple whose four-year-old son was dying of Tay Sachs, but refused to give up hope and channeled their energies into fundraising to help find a cure.  A married couple who wanted to keep a flock of bantam chickens on their property, but was ordered by the local zoning board to remove the birds. I remember the headline:  “We Refuse to Chicken Out.” A group of citizens who asked if I would write about their grassroots movement to preserve from development a Revolutionary War site where 53 American soldiers were buried. . . . a story that spanned five years and ended up garnering the attention of Congress.

****

But as life would have it, events and circumstances collided. I always believe and still do – life can change in a heartbeat.  First, there was the loss of my career at the newspaper; then finding myself alone, a woman whose children were grown and gone; and finally the death of my mother.

I stood at the precipice of change wondering . . .  where to go from here?  The lack of direction terrified and excited me.  I thought to myself: Now is your time, Susan.  You can do what you want.  You don’t need to prove anything to anyone . . . no one that is, but John.

He had always been there . . . my touchstone to honor and chivalry.  I remembered when we first met under white dogwood trees; the way he looked at me with deepset dark eyes almost as if he knew me better than I knew myself.  Although he had been gone over 13 years, he had never really left my side.  Now that I was off the treadmill of work and raising children, I found myself drawn into reliving our love, our 16-year marriage, his heartbreaking and courageous battle with cancer that lasted – almost unbelievably – seven long years through the birth of our second son and ending just after our son’s 7th birthday.

John and I toast each other on our wedding day.

I began searching for answers. Why hadn’t I been a better wife to John at the end?  Why had I screamed at him as he was dying, “I wish I’d never met you!”  I believe he knew before I did that losing him was almost more than I could bear.  He never asked for an apology.  It was myself I needed to forgive.  So I began writing.

This was harder than any story I had ever covered or reported. I felt my throat choke up, the tears well in my eyes.  Why was I putting myself through this?  Some days I would get up from the desk, take long walks . . .  but even then I couldn’t escape our story, his and mine. How best to express the emotions I needed to convey, which scene, which memory, which conversation?

I began to realize that if what I wrote helped other families cope with chronic illness and learn to forgive themselves for not living up to their own personal set of standards, then I was writing the most important story of my life.   My days as a journalist had served me well.  I knew how to craft a well-paced story, yet also keep some distance and find the compelling narrative.  For me, it was about the loss of youth and dreams, the naïve expectation of a happily-ever-after, and then blaming my husband, not the cancer for my shattered life.

After Again in a Heartbeat was finished, I felt a weight lift.  It had been the depth of my love for him that made me act the way I had.  If I had loved him any less, perhaps, I could have been kinder.

Again in a Heartbeat, a memoir of love, loss and dating again and its sequel, Morning at Wellington Square, about my life as a writer and single woman on a quest to find new meaning, have opened doors to teaching writing workshops, editing books, and helping others find their “voice” through the Women’s Writing Circle.  This is a group I started here in suburban Philadelphia three years ago to bring together a community of writers and offer a support system, as well as a creative lifeline in a world that is often isolating.

In many ways, I feel energized by this new “career” . . . pursuing my passion, which is writing and teaching and encouraging others to tell their stories.  None of it would have happened if I had not made the decision to take a risk . . . to dive off that cliff and hope – beyond any measure of logic or reason – that somehow if I looked hard into my own heart I might not only survive, but come up renewed

***

Susan G. Weidener’s Bio:  An author, editor and former journalist, Susan leads writing workshops and started the Women’s Writing Circle, a support and critique group for writers in suburban Philadelphia. Susan has an undergraduate degree in literature from American University in Washington, DC and a master’s degree in education from the University of Pennsylvania.  She is particularly interested in how women can find their voice through writing and storytelling. For more information about the Women’s Writing Circle and how to order Susan’s memoirs, go www.susanweidener.com. You can also connect with Susan on Twitter@ Sweideheart, Facebook

Facebook: , and her Link to my Amazon Author’s page

Sonia Marsh Says: What a story of courage and re-inventing yourself after the loss of the man you loved, and the start of a new life. I am sure your memoir can help us feel “energized” and motivated to follow our passion, just as you did.

NEWS ABOUT DECEMBER

I shall be in Paris at a book signing on December 13th, 5-7 pm, at WH Smith (scroll down on their website)  as well as visiting family and friends in Paris and London. (ANY SUGGESTIONS? WHAT ARE YOU INTERESTED IN? LET ME KNOW IN YOUR COMMENTS BELOW OR E-MAIL ME AT Sonia@soniamarsh.com)

Since we are all busy during the holidays, I shall post stories and photos from Europe during the month of December, and hope you take some time to write and submit your “My Gutsy Story.” Be the first one on January 7th 2013. Thank you.

***

We have started our November “My Gutsy Story” series with Jerry Waxler and Elaine Masters.

Do you have a “My Gutsy Story” you’d like to share?

NOW is the time to submit your “My Gutsy Story” and get published in our Anthology. Please contact sonia@soniamarsh.com for details.

You can find all the information, and our sponsors on the “My Gutsy Story” contest page. (VIDEO) Submission guidelines here